Choices that will Help to Improve any Marriage

Choices that will Help to Improve any Marriage

There are specific issues in your marriage that cannot be changed today. No matter how well you try, some marriage improvements take time.  But the given choices shared in this blog by India’s eminent marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo with you today will immediately improve your marriage.

Couples Therapist Shivani says it has been seen these four things change your marriage for the good and the absence of these things could change your marriage for the bad. It would be wise to choose all of them, if possible. But even opting for trying for just one could be a game-changer.

Presume the Best for your Partner

Several couples often spend years being defensive with one another. One of the partners would ask a question and the other one would be defensive. And, vice versa. Being defensive is never going to build intimacy. When you presume the worst of your spouse, you automatically place them in defense mode. In defense mode, responsibility is not taken, grace is never shown, patience runs dry and arguments are frequent. When you presume the best of your wife or your husband, there is a confidence that even while you disagree, you know in your heart deeply that your spouse is for you. When you have confidence that your partner is for you, intense discussions help build intimacy instead of shredding it. Presume the best and be proven wrong.

Speak Less and Listen More

Some individuals are control freaks. Control freaks have to be correct and have to have the last word. Because one always trying to prove he/she was right and always trying to have the last word, one would listen but just to have a response or counterpoint. Sounds similar? Do you interrupt your partner when he/she is talking? Do you find yourself thinking of a response in your mind as your spouse is speaking? Do you not even acknowledge what has been said prior to you proving how right you are? Your marriage will change today if you listened to your loved one in order to understand, rather than to be understood. Scripture says it like this, everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slower to become angry.

Stop Attempting to Change your Spouse

Many times couples often wish if they could have back the amount of time, energy, and emotions that they spent believing that we could change the other. One often thought if they yelled loud enough, made their point strong enough, were right enough, slammed the door hard enough, they would change. It never works. When one assumes the responsibility to change the heart of their spouse, they assume the role of God or nature in their marriage.  One may say can I just set you releases from something. Understand you do not have the power to change a human heart; only nature does. The best advice that can be given is, that will transform your marriage is to pray simply for your spouse and ask if it can change you.

Do Not Put Your Partner Down in Public

Some partners have this habit. They did not even realize how often they did this until the separation. One such instance could be making fun of your partner in front of other people. It could be horrible for your partner. When you make fun of your spouse or insult your spouse in front of others what you convey is how insecure you are with yourself. Do you encourage your spouse up in front of others or simply rip them apart?  There is nothing that will destroy intimacy faster than putting your spouse down in front of others. On the contrary, there is nothing more fulfilling than having your spouse compliment you in front of your friends or your family. It could be a huge factor.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxietydepressionsleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control the pandemic’s spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.



Self-Care in Marriage: Simple Ways to Relax Together as a Couple

Right now, several couples or individuals are still working from home for the immediate future. Lots of people are very much always home these days, or a few even working part-time on creative work and taking care of the household. This might be a huge challenge for some marriages if couples are not already so consistent with practicing self-care in their marriage. Even though a steady income, and living in a house with plenty of space, definitely contributes to anyone’s comfort

But your marriage is something that should always be a priority, no matter the extenuating circumstances. One method to prioritize your marriage is to practice self-care, together. Even if you and your significant other just have time to work on self-care once every week, that is still the time that you are solely devoting to each other and to your marriage.

This blog by Delhi’s top Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo talks about self-care in marriage and the ways to relax as a couple.

Couples Therapist Shivani says these self-care ideas are solely intended to do as a couple. Bear in mind that for these self-care ideas to benefit both of you, both the partners have to be willing and interested. Consent always matters in a relationship, even for non-sexual activities. It is not exactly a self-care activity if you have to be forced into doing it.

Unplug your Gadgets and Devices

You and your loved one need some screen-free time together. There are many who cancel their anniversary trip, so it can be celebrated at home instead. While couples watching a movie is fine, however, it is insisted that both of you put away or switch off your phones and laptops while watching movies together. With repeated notifications and more, it is so easy to focus more on your phone than on your partner. Dedicate time to each of you without thinking of your devices.

Go on a Walk

After a long time you two have managed to have some time. If the weather is pleasant, plan to take a walk. Hold each other’s hands. Talk about life. The fresh air and exteriors will certainly do a world of good for both of you.

Spend Some Quality Time Apart

Are you confused? It’s okay, just like quality time together must be intentional–TV series and Chill doesn’t count, quality time apart must also be intentional. When you and your loved one spend time on self-improvement, or you focus on quality time with friends or family, you are spending quality time apart. It is good to have your own hobbies. It is healthy to have your own friends. Your partner should not be your sole source of companionship.

Post quality time apart, you and your spouse will better appreciate and enjoy quality time together.

Set Goals Together

Several couples have some big dreams. Dreams of extensive travel, a big house with a luxury car dreams of kids and their schooling.

It is fun to dream big, particularly, about the distant future. But there is also time to set realistic goals for the immediate future. Big goals usually take time, and they normally take money too. In addition to setting long-term goals, you and your partner should also break them down into medium-term goals.

Marriage goals are not all financial, though. You can also set goals to concentrate on self-improvement or goals to build intimacy.

Some of the ways are:

·       Workout together for a specific amount of time each week

·       Join a hobby club together

·       Attend an event together

·       Schedule a weekly or fortnight date

Learn Each One’s Love Language

Every individual generally has a primary love language. This is how you express love to others. When another person uses your love language you feel loved even more. Learning and acknowledging your own love language, and learning your spouse’s love language, can assist the two of you to communicate better and express love with greater intention.

Give Each Other Massages

First you need to decide together if these massages are simply for relaxation and/or pain relief, or if they are a prelude to getting intimate. You do not wish to be disappointed by a simple misunderstanding post your messages.

If you do not know how to give a good massage, there are some good resources online.

Maybe you need to set the environment right, get out some body lotion or massage oil, play soothing music and give each other massages.

If you do not have time for the complete romance, you can also give each other foot massages or neck rubs while watching a TV show.

Cuddle and Talk

Several couples are affectionate all day long, but there is nothing quite like dedicating a few moments to cuddling and talking. This is a great mode to start or to end your day. Simply you and your spouse, no other distractions. If you are not certain what to talk about, ask a few tried-and-true questions. How are you feeling? What are you thinking? What can you do today to make your partner’s life better?

Just be Silly

No doubt a married life means several responsibilities. However, marriage is not the end of fun. Be playful with your spouse. Run through the sprinklers or dance in the kitchen. Play video games or board games. Share some jokes. After all, laughter is the best medicine.

Show Affection

At times self-care in marriage is actually, just about the little things. Show affection to your spouse throughout the day. Send a cute message. Give a quick neck massage. Kiss right prior to going to bed.

Go to the Bed Together

One of the partners is an early bird, while the other one a night owl. But it is always good to align your sleep schedules more closely. Most nights, you need to try to be in bed before your partner falls asleep so at least you can talk a bit first.

Sometimes you could be both tired at the same time and fall asleep cuddling. This is an absolutely wonderful feeling, but it’s not normally practical with your different sleep schedules. Still, it is nice to try to be in bed together at the end of the day, before either of you falls asleep.

Discuss Things Related to Physical Intimacy in your Life

Getting physically intimate can absolutely be an amazing kind of self-care. But you and your partner need to discuss it periodically. The lists can help you and your partner start the conversation. It includes meaningful videos or articles on topics related to physical intimacy. It will help both of you to set or rectify certain issues if they bother you as far as getting physically intimate with your partner.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxietydepressionsleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control the pandemic’s spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

How to Deepen your Intimacy During Difficult Times

Difficult times may have different outcomes for your relationship. Either it can refine or break your relationship. This is why it is so important to stay connected. Through intentional action, it is possible to deepen your intimacy during tough times.

Counselor Shivani says, having difficult times in your relationship is inevitable. No relationship can claim that it never had any unpleasant phases or hardships. They are all part of a long relationship. Sometimes it comes and goes in phases.

Often couples either do not try or are completely not in a position where they can even think of getting intimate with their partner, specifically, when the times are so hard.

However, intimacy plays an important part in keeping the relationship alive and the same is needed during tough times too.

India’s eminent marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares how couples can deepen their intimacy during difficult times.

Here are some of the ways.

Listen to Each Other

Communication is crucial at all times in your relationship. But specifically, during difficult times, it becomes more important than ever before. As a couple, take some time to talk with and listen to each other.

Your conversations do not always have to revolve around the hard things that are happening. In fact, it is great if you intentionally discuss other, positive things apart from that situation. But this is a time to hear each one out and to help each other feel heard and seen.

Regularly Practice Optimism Together

If you are struggling, this is a good time to work together to practice optimism. Being optimistic could be a challenge, during those times, but if you hold one another accountable and approach this challenge as a unit it will be easier.

Optimism is a habit that has to be formed, so jump into the practice having that in mind. It does not mean you will never discuss or dwell on the difficult times, but it does mean you will be investing energy towards the good things, too.

Have Patience

Difficult times can profoundly affect your sense of wellbeing, and you may not feel like yourself when you are in the middle of a difficult time. You may also come across as aloof or distracted. If you see that your spouse seems down or simply not like themselves, be patient with them.

It is impossible to demand that all the things will be the same, every time, no matter what is happening in your world (or the exterior world at large). When hard times hit, be prepared to exercise patience through it all. It is not always easy, but it is worth it.

Do Not Miss the Fun

Does not matter what, work together to make and take time for play and fun. Shared activities are a must for every relationship, more so when you are going through a tough time. But beyond simply sharing interests or hobbies, look for fun, shared activities that can make you feel energized and joyful. Then, seek those out quite often.

Be Alone Together Quite Often, Whenever Possible

Intimacy needs a private or alone time to flourish, so make more of it, particularly if you are dealing with a difficult situation. Alone time opens doors of possibilities for better conversations, more physical contact, greater emotional closeness, and more shared tasks.

If you are experiencing a difficult phase in your life, focus on spending more alone time with your spouse. This time does not necessarily have to be sexual. Simply, be together as partners and companions.

Take Some Time for Physical Contact

A non-sexual touch is essential for boosting your intimacy. If you do not already take time to hold hands, cuddle, hug, physically comfort one another, and just be close, then now is a great time to do so. Simply giving the gift of your presence to your significant other can make a lasting difference in your marriage.

Make Time for Getting Physically Intimate

Mostly, couples either do not feel like it or completely ignore being physically intimate with each other during the tough phases. Getting physically intimate can be incredibly healing, and can assist to deepen a couple’s intimacy, even in the midst of turmoil. Taking the quiet time to connect on a physical, spiritual, and emotional level reinforces your love for each other and can reinvigorate both of you to face what lies ahead with each coming day.

Perk

Have you and your partner ever taken a relationship assessment? Relationship assessments may help you and your spouse learn more about each other than ever before. If you wish to get to know one another on a deeper level, you can connect with Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo to seek assistance with regard to your relationship.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxietydepressionsleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control the pandemic’s spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.


Ways to Decode your Partner’s Mood, Reveals Shivani Sadhoo

Here’s a situation: one is a mind reader. That’s right, one can glance at their partner and delve deep into their feelings with merely one look. They are also able to correctly interpret and detect a range of emotions based on body cues, and perceived thoughts

However, genuine mind reading is never easy (in spite of how much one tries!). The fact is, none of you can, and piecing together the clues can be mighty difficult when it comes to your significant other.

While your familiarity with each other can provide insight into their changing moods—one shouldn’t try to gauge how your partner’s feeling based on assumptions alone. According to a psychological basis, taking the time to understand and communicate effectively is the finest way to increase your empathy and sense of closeness.

India’s eminent Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo in this blog says about ways to decode your partner’s mood, however, first, and the most essential thing to keep in mind are:

It is Not Entirely about you

If your spouse is withdrawing, in a funk, or refusing to communicate with you, the reason is perhaps more complicated than it appears.

Mostly one assumes their partner is mad at them, and they immediately get defensive. This can make you begin arguing about something that may not be the actual issue at all, which as a result makes it impossible to solve the actual issue.

Some researchers found that while couples do well at picking up on when their partner is happy, they may be missing out on other more subtle emotional clues.

It has been found that when it comes to the normal ebb and flow of daily emotions, couples are not picking up on those occasional changes in ‘soft negative’ emotions such as sadness or feeling down. While daily failing to pick up on these negative feelings can have a cumulative effect, ultimately leading to issues within the relationship over time.

Assumptions are Often Relationship Killers

While several people are proud of their honed mind-reading abilities, this is a strict no-no. Couples should stop assuming they know what their partner is feeling and alternatively, pay extra attention to each other and communicate more.

While one of the partners may incorrectly assume the other is feeling a specific way, this could lead the other to react in an unhelpful way. For instance, if you assume that your partner is upset about a certain thing you feel they should not be (and they are not), it may cause you to get angry or frustrated with them—which as a result actually makes them upset, and then it forms into a fight” (pretty certain some of you have been here before).

But apart from deterring this unhelpful habit, it is better to take a closer look at your interior motivations. Mostly, you are trying to go for intuition or make assumptions about what the other one is feeling because the relationship is unstable and insecure. While in the opposite sense—when a relationship is balanced and secure—you do not have to assume what the other is feeling.

Stop and Listen to your Significant Other

One of the biggest things is that you should be listening to understand, not to respond. Never listen with the goal of figuring out what you wish to say or how to tear apart their opinion or how to catch them in a lie. Also stay away from jumping in with rebuttals, opinions, and judgments until you actually understand your partner’s point of view.

You can always ask questions to clarify, only be careful that you do not try to defend yourself. Always remember that listening does not mean you are agreeing with your significant one’s conclusions; you are merely acknowledging that their feelings are valid and worthy of being heard.

Also, bear in mind the importance of giving your spouse eye contact and waiting to respond. If you wait for about two to three seconds post they are done speaking, your response will be more tailored to them and not a knee-jerk response.

Never be Afraid to Ask

If you are uncertain as to how your partner is feeling, the best way is to ask them. This could be in the form of being curious and supportive, not blaming or getting defensive. It is important to know what state of mind you are venturing into the conversation with.

If you are feeling sad, depressed, or a little wounded, it is quite likely you will bring this to a discussion. Using ‘I’ statements and being open, transparent, and vulnerable will assist your partner know what you are feeling and needing out of the interaction. It might be that you simply need a hug.

It is recommended to allow your partner to know what you need. If you do not know what you need, explain to them.

Learn Each Other’s Emotional Past

Life is a mix of both joy and pain and everyone is conditioned by painful experiences. It is always good to know what painful experiences your partner’s ‘emotional truth’ is made of.”

Many couples take long hours sharing their history with each other. Really open up about parents, trauma, doubts, and insecurities. Try to be as transparent as possible.

If you do not learn about your partner’s past of conditioned pain, then you need to learn about it through conflict—which is difficult, knowing about your partner’s pain informs your response. If you see yourself in the midst of the argument, it is good to ask your partner where they have had this feeling in their life earlier.

Part of it involves cultivating our own sense of understanding and compassion. Knowing that your partner spent several hours waiting for their parents to call and wondering if they ever would when they were merely 10 years old. They may easily explain why they became so hurt and angry when you neglected to respond to her text this evening.” This makes a map that is useful in times of conflict, as understanding their past makes it easier not to feel personally attacked and validates why they were upset.

Eventually, decoding our partner’s moods requires one takes an active, empathetic interest in the inner world of your significant other. It is very useful for couples to look at their partner and ask themselves, ‘Who is this being?’ After all, a relationship takes place in the present, never in the past or future.”

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxietydepressionsleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control the pandemic’s spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.


Top psychologist

Reasons Why People Struggle with Laziness?

Beware Laziness May Lead to Depression Warns Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo

Let’s assume you have always been a disciplined person. You were an academic achiever from the early stages of your school days.

However, there are specific areas in your life in which you admit that you are “lazy.” You believe you do not flourish when it comes to doing household chores. So, you hire someone to help in those areas.

Sometimes, though, it still bothers you to think that there is “laziness” in you. In several cultures, “lazy” is a very negative term.

Why is laziness such a frowned-upon trait? Is it even a trait, or is it the symptom of something else, such as anxiety, depression, or mental illness?

In this blog, India’s Top Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo, will help you to examine the myth of laziness and why you need to ask—am I depressed or lazy?

The Key Difference Among Depression and Laziness

Depression and laziness have many things in common, which is why several people are misbranded as lazy.

The reason the word “lazy” mostly goes with depression is that it is a common symptom of depression and mental illness.

Depression and laziness both impact concentration, motivation, energy levels, and the quality of work produced.

The difference is this depression impacts one’s mental health and mood, while lazy people are simply unmotivated by things beyond their control because they lack self-awareness or deep insight into what motivates them.

How Would You Know if you are Depressed or Lazy?

How would you know if you are lazy? Depression feels quite dark, you will notice that it is hard to get out of bed in the morning. Not because you are so relaxed and enjoying your cozy time, but because you are sad, dejected, and feeling lackluster and hopeless.

Laziness is more of a circumstantial experience. Some days you might feel lazy because you are tired from a hectic week. On the other hand, depression can last for several weeks or months irrespective of how much rest you get.

Actual Laziness Could be a Myth

Some people may argue that actual laziness is a moral failure, else a temperament is a myth.

Certainly, everyone has days where he/she is voluntarily and blissfully lazy. When you take a day off, for instance. Being lazy is a way of self-care. The space to watch TV, order your favorite food, and enjoy some moments to breathe without the hectic pace of life as a corporate professional is absolutely necessary.

Reasons Why One Might Struggle with Laziness

From the perspective of a counselor, laziness is actually the reflection that suggests an individual’s mental health and overall wellness needs some sort of examination.

One Perhaps Has Issues Pertaining to Value Linking

Value linking refers to whether one feels that an assignment aligns with your own values.

At work, you are often assigned tasks that appear mindless or useless. If you get tripped up by value linking, you might probably have a difficult time completing an important assignment for your boss—even if it is a top priority and due next hour or day—if you think the task has no value.

Most people have the capability to suspend their thoughts around value linking just to work on projects assigned to them by their superiors. However, some people find it almost impossible to do work that has little or no perceived value.

If you are a value-linking individual, it is important to speak to your boss regarding this. Make certain you ask about why a project or assignment is so important.

Dig in deep until you can truly align to the overarching value of work so you can finally get it done. Otherwise, you will reject getting started and continue to procrastinate, and earn the word “lazy.”

You Could be Struggling Due to Substance Abuse

Laziness and depression might be symptoms of a substance abuse issue. Self-medicating could appear to be laziness (turning up late, missing appointments, ghosting friends), but it is actually an addiction-related problem.

In fact, one growing kind of addiction is due to a certain medication that is used by those having ADHD. Mostly, people abuse certain medicines to combat laziness because it gives energy and intense focus; however,  addiction can eventually lead to a person feeling depressed.

One is Addicted to Social Media

This is not an outright judgment. Several people lost hours mindlessly viewing Instagram. Social media addiction is a documented issue. Understand that your social scrolling is contributing to your mental health in either a good or bad way.

Pay attention to reducing your time spent on social media. In years, one will be so distressed to see the long-term impacts of apps such as Facebook or Instagram on mental health.

One tip that works: One would like to delete social media apps during the weekends and post-hours. It could take extra time to reinstall those, but it helps some to keep from mindlessly hopping back on. They are simply too addictive.

Also, you may consider muting and unfollowing accounts or groups that make you feel depressed or bad about yourself.

One is Lazy, as They Have Too Much to Do

When one works remotely, one is inundated with work from every aspect. His computer, phone. Notifications reminding when your on-line meeting is starting. It is way too much.

It has been seen many people respond to this experience of overwhelm with what seems like laziness. They hide. They drag the covers over their head and use their avoidance and unresponsiveness as a manner of saying, he/she is overwhelmed.

How to Encourage Individuals with Depression and Mental Health Issues

One of the finest methods to totally deflate and degrade someone having depression is to call them lazy. Language has enough power. When you notice someone being lazy at work, pause and consider how to motivate them.

Consider swapping out the word “lazy” from your dictionary completely. As mentioned above, laziness has quite a negative connotation and can bring up damaging feelings.

Encourage your employees, family members, colleagues to schedule routine into their calendars. Sometimes it is called “thinking time” or moments of space.

It may seem like laziness, but it is actually the most replenishing time one can put on their agenda.

Simply Lazy or Depressed – Both are Absolutely Fine

Laziness and depression are both parts of human life. Neither is good or bad.

Let us everyone work to relieve yourselves and each other of the intense judgment of the two human experiences.

Keys to Rejuvenating Intimacy and Desire in a Long-Term Relationship

Being in love feels simply amazing. You constantly seek someone who can hold your hand forever. You constantly wait to have someone to spend the rest of your life with. And once you find the right person, or forever soulmate, you make promises of being forever and are willing to go beyond your limits to prove your love for the special one.

But, does love remain the same for the rest of life?

Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo says well, several couples face a decline in desire when they settle into a long-term relationship. And because of this, one might even think that time causes passion to disappear. As you grow old in life, you do less work on rejuvenating intimacy as your role in your lover’s and dear ones’ lives starts to change.

So, how to get back that intimacy in a marriage?

As per the study, the long-term relationship needs to be enhanced to improve the quality of the relationship and keep it happy, content, and healthy. So, read on this blog, by India’s top Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo to know how to increase intimacy and the secret to desire in a long-term relationship.

Reasons for Issues in Marriage Intimacy

Post being together in a relationship for a long time, couples begin to take each other for granted and think that their partner will always stay by them irrespective of what they do. This is when the lack of intimacy in marriage comes into the picture.

Life is all about ups and downs, and when you begin to desire more and more attention, you may give less attention to your partner. After a certain time, as you do not take any steps for rejuvenating intimacy, your partner seems to lack affection in marriage and begins to think that you no longer wish to keep the relationship going.

How to Form Emotional Intimacy in Marriage?

Look to bring back the satisfaction, joy, and excitement, and emotional intimacy in your marriage or relationship.

How to spice up your long-term relationship?

There are several things for you two to do for rejuvenating intimacy, says Shivani. Like go together for a romantic dinner or go for an intimate date. You can also opt for camping and get cut off from the rest of the world, and spend some time exploring each other again.

During this moment, forget all about the unpleasant and challenging tasks in life, such as your work, the expectations, in-laws, or the kids.

This must become one of your special moments in life to share nothing but happiness and contentment between you two. You do not really have to spend a fortune simply to impress your partner to improve or bolster intimacy in marriage. You need to simply create a moment of love to refresh your relationship.

Why is Rejuvenating Intimacy in a Marriage Required?

Intimacy issues in marriage over a certain period of time are normal. Post being with one another for a long time, living together will get dull and unattractive if neither of you is into doing something new to foster intimacy in marriage, every now and then.

There are several reasons why rejuvenating intimacy and refreshing the relationship is required. If you do not take steps to spice up your marital life, this could lead to a dull relationship. This may cause drift. Some reasons why you need to work on your relationship are:

·       Your special one feels unappreciated or unacknowledged

·       There is a constant lack of connection and responsiveness

·       Boredom has crept within marriage with the same routine, you both follow

·       Lack or absence of physical intimacy

·       Negativity in your relationship

·       Loss of complete self

When it comes to rejuvenating intimacy and making unexpected physical contact can bring a certain unexpected pleasure to your partner, and it does not necessarily have to be anything sexual at all.

All of a sudden, giving a hug out of the blue may also bring a surprised smile to your loved one’s face and plays a great role in rejuvenating intimacy. Give an effort to understand and accept how both of you feel, specifically with the wants, wishes, and desires that you two have.

Spend Some Time Together

Couple time in any relationship is absolutely essential. Over the period, individuals in a relationship tend to become isolated. Spouses seem to spend lesser leisure time with their loved ones as the time grows, leading to a change in the relationship quality.

Sit together and make a list of the things you two have been wishing to do. It could be anything, as long as both of you can love and enjoy it together. Do not hog the priority. Post doing what you want, do what your partner desires. In a manner, it would be sharing the joy and love you two have.

Just remember, what it was like to be in love when you two first began dating. You two were so much in love that you could ignore each other’s flaws and love each other without any reason and judgment. What was it about you, that your significant other found to be so loving and attractive?

At times the tunnel is quite long and a long-term relationship or marriage is not mandatorily a full-time honeymoon period. But all you have to do is to hold on and not give up.

Try to get back those things that you and your partner enjoyed the most doing together to rejuvenate the love lost in your relationship.

Always remain positive in your relationship no matter how difficult the situation gets. Make certain whatever decision you make is mutually beneficial. At the same moment, positivity in any relationship is essential, no matter how hard the situations are.

Couples who share the feeling of love and joy in their lives are the ones that would likely last and be happy all the way. Getting back to your loved one would help you experience that lasting happiness. However, always remember that your partner should be willing to get back into a relationship with you.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxietydepressionsleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-19 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.


Ways to Accept Change in your Relationship

As you see when the winters are about to end and summers are drawing closer that indicates a new season is about to begin. The advent of spring just before the summer brings with itself the leaves changing colors and flowers being bloomed. And all these changes bring a magnificent brilliance.

This change gives you the indication that it is part of life and often they bring with itself positive outcomes.

Similarly, change is definitely something that impacts how a couple relates to each other.

India’s Top Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo in this blog shares tips to help your relationship whether any changes may pop up along the way:

Understand that Changes will Occur

You begin your journey as a couple at one place in your lives and will hopefully continue together for the long. To do so, also, expect several twists and turns along the way, everyday stresses, big challenges, milestone events. In simple words, Life Change is always happening, so expect it will continue to show up in your relationship, as well. Embracing or accepting an open mindset that allows for change and being willing to adjust and adapt makes space for your relationship to evolve with it.

Accept that People Change, and that is Fine

For any given number of reasons, a person shifts, and changes. It is important to support who your partner is rather than hoping them to forever remain as you would like them to be. Appreciate and foster their unique, evolving needs and wishes. Sometimes, their changes are temporary (like in a demanding work situation) on other occasions, the shift could be permanent because of an urge to make a life transition. Irrespective of the cause, having your support will provide strength to the relationship.

Identify when Change Might Spell Trouble

At times when your partner acts strangely, or differently, it may mean something is bothering them. Not all individuals are able to easily express themselves verbally. If you observe over time that your partner is behaving in a manner that is out of the ordinary, show your concern in a caring manner. It is important that care and compassion be expressed so that the other partner feels safe enough to be honest if there is a crisis or a problem.

Let Change Happen for you

Even though one of the best things about being in a relationship is consistency. It has been seen that boredom can kill it. The remedy is to form novelty—change! But do not worry: If the two of you are not huge risk-takers, you do not have to go skydiving to achieve the target. By merely switching up the restaurant you visit or try a new activity together. Add some spice to your daily life.

Alter the Way you Handle Conflict

One of the major reasons couples get into conflicts is because they do the repeated “dance steps” every time, they keep repeating the same pattern of arguments over and over again. One of the finest ways to make a change is to step out from moments of conflict and see what patterns the two of you are repeating. Then re-create the situation to see where a shift in a separate direction could be possible. Being open to changing the patterns lets you have a different (and more loving) result.

Change is difficult for many people. However, when accepted, it can be quite empowering for your overall relationship.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home.

While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-19 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

Signs You and Your Partner Have Lost an Emotional Intimacy and Connection

Emotional intimacy is an art, but it eventually becomes a method of being in a relationship. It would be better to describe emotional intimacy as the experience of being emotionally connected and in sync with your partners. It involves a level of openness and vulnerability from both individuals and increases the overall sense of closeness you feel with your partner in daily life. Without emotional intimacy, it can be difficult for couples to weather the storms of life together.

Emotional intimacy is ultimately that glue which holds a relationship together, post the initial excitement fizzles. Couples who are emotionally intimate are able to overcome conflict more easily because they understand each one better and is able to communicate their feelings to each other. Fortunately, there are ways to form emotional intimacy if you haven’t quite tapped into it yet. Firstly, you need to check in on your relationship.

In this article top Marriage Counselor in India Shivani Misri Sadhoo talks about signs that your relationship perhaps lacks emotional intimacy and connection.

You Feel Awkwardly Distant

Without any emotional intimacy, your relationship may have a distance to it that you cannot quite pinpoint, almost as if your partner’s real feelings are always at arms’ length.

This is a sign of a lack of emotional intimacy if you might not know the reason, but you’re feeling distant and isolated from your partner, or perhaps you aren’t talking as much or spending as much time together. This distance in relationships can mostly signal a lack of emotional intimacy, and a need to nourish and nurture the emotional bond that fuels togetherness and connection. Try asking your partner a few questions about the relationship, and see how things head from there.

None of you Talk about your Emotions

A lack of transparency is another huge sign that you and your partner have not laid a solid foundation of emotional intimacy yet in your relationship. You have to be able to talk about your feelings and emotions with each other. These things are difficult to talk about because they require that you practice being vulnerable and transparent. But when feelings and emotions do not get talked about, they mostly come out in different and more problematic manner. This can lead to a habit of arguing over minor things or even stonewalling each other.

Lacking the security and confidence to share your feelings or being afraid that your partner will invalidate your feelings is a sign that your relationship is perhaps lacking emotional intimacy. So start out small, opening up to your partner about your daily anxieties, and see how your partner responds.

Perhaps One of You Shares Lot More than the Other

If one of the partners shares more than the other, it could be hard to notice that emotional intimacy is lacking. It may simply seem like someone’s a good listener. But it often means that there is an imbalance.

This might be a sign that a partner does not feel safe or comfortable expressing themselves openly in the relationship; conversely, it might also mean a partner is not creating space for their partner to be open and vulnerable with them. So, whether you realize that you are opening up more, or not quite sufficient, bring up this issue with your partner. It could be possible to resolve on its own.

You Do Not Touch Much Outside the Bedroom

When it is about the physical touch, there actually is a clear parallel between emotional and physical intimacy. It simply might not be in the ways you think. It is not a good sign if when you and your partner are alone there is a very small physical connection such as sitting close, holding hands, those small manners one expresses emotional intimacy.

Comfortable physical closeness needs a degree of emotional closeness. Thus, your physical distance might actually be symbolic. Emotional intimacy is the base for physical intimacy. When you are emotionally connected, you are physically connected and it makes your physical connection all the way better. This means that, if you realize you do not touch much, the solution is not to simply start holding hands and nothing else. Like all other areas of emotional intimacy, it is a sign that you perhaps need to open up more as a couple.

You Do Not Ask Each Other for Advice

In a relationship, both the partners must be able to support each other no matter what. Sadly, that’s difficult to accomplish if neither of you are really asking the other for help when you need it. No one’s life must be dictated by their partner, but your relationship must be a place you can go for guidance. It is a sign you do not have emotional intimacy if you do not ask for each other’s opinion or advice. This may indicate that you are not emotionally secure enough in your relationship to ask for each other’s help. So, assess whether the problem is on your end or theirs, and look to open up about it when you feel you can.

Emotional intimacy is a sign of a good relationship, but lacking it does not mean you, as a couple, are destined to doom. With a brief hard work, you and your partner can pinpoint the areas where you need help, and begin to fix things from there. Whether it means going on more dates, having some heart-to-hearts, or heading to couples counseling, there are methods to protect a good thing. If it is meant to be, it will surely work out.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxietydepressionsleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-19 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.


Are You Facing Uncertainty in Your Relationship? Counselor Shivani Says You Might be in a “Situationship”

So, you have been seeing someone for a few months now (yes, that person you met perhaps on a dating site). You think (or more like you hope) they are not seeing anyone else. You know their favorite type of food, music, their father’s name, and may even have a toothbrush at their house. However, even though you are kind of in a relationship, there still has not been any talk of commitment or even exclusivity. Does this seem familiar? Well, if this sounds like it is describing your relationship perfectly, then you are perhaps in a “situationship”.

Relationship Counselor Shivani says ss the latest relationship trend on the block, a situationship is actually when you and another person are doing things that normal couples do, but you are not actually a couple. In between a hook-up and a relationship, situationship is that in-between grey zone where no one truly knows what is going on. Situationships may last months or even years in several cases but, given the reality, they involve catching feelings, it will finally end in two methods. Either you are going to DTR (define the relationship) or someone decides to move on.

So, if you see yourself relating to these signs, as said by Delhi’s top Marriage Counselor and Relationship Expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo in this blog, then have a peek into it, that you may be in a “situationship”.

Run-Ins with a Friend or Relatives are Awkward

Have you ever bumped into a relative or friend while you are with the person you are seeing and not known what to introduce them as?  With responses with pauses like Uhm, this is my friend?’ or ‘Uh, this is his/her name, you know you are in a situationship. This is due to the fact that you haven’t truly defined what you are both doing.

Not at All Making Future Plans with Each Other

The majority of the people in committed relationships will be making plans for their future, such as birthday plans or deciding to book event tickets that would not be for another six to eight months. If you are in a situationship though, you might never make plans that are more than a week in advance, preferring to simply live in the moment. You may also still be going to events such as wedding ceremonies or New Year’s events alone.

You Have Never Meet Each Other’s Friends or Colleagues

On the first note, apart from the awkward run-ins, you have not officially met each other’s friends or colleagues.  Meeting friends usually, signifies that the relationship has the ability to be long-term. Several people do not want to introduce someone to their friends if they would be around next week. Introducing them indicates commitment. Whereas in a situationship, at most in this kind of relationship the closest you can perhaps come to making a commitment is to begin watching a new web series together at most. Nothing more than that. *

There are a Few Taboos

Being in a situationship, you tend to always be playing a game of chicken while texting. So, if one of you doesn’t respond for a long time, you cannot easily just ask what is going on. Lack of commitment means you do not wish to appear as the needy or clingy one, since you are technically not even in a defined relationship. Also, you are certainly not on each other’s social media too.

You Have Sleepovers Regularly

It does not feel necessary to leave straight away post-sex because you do not simply go over to hook-up. Even though your relationship could be largely physical, you still do plenty of the domesticated activities that couples normally do.  You stay overnight at each other’s places, have breakfast, and even have your toothbrush at their homes.

You Have Feelings for Each Other But Not Love, But You Simply Never Talks About This

Despite not admitting it to the person you are seeing, you have certainly caught feelings. However, you do not love them. Communication is vital in a serious relationship, but in situationships people merely tend not to talk about their true feelings. While it could be fun for a while, it is essential to bear in mind that the uncertainty may get a bit too much eventually.

What happens if you get yourself in a situationship?

If you are dating in 2021 and a millennial, then you will possibly find yourself in a situationship. If you are not already in one now. Millennials somewhat specifically tend to be “scared of the responsibility and expectation that comes along with the label girlfriend or boyfriend and so the ‘what are we’ conversation simply never happens.

While pressure and label-free relationship sound good, but one never knows situationships can actually be quite toxic. The repeated uncertainty of the other person’s feelings and thoughts can rapidly turn from exciting to exhausting. The worst thing is that when a situationship finishes, you say to yourself that you cannot get even properly upset about it because it was not even theoretically a relationship. Situationships are not for everyone. If it is not what you actually wish, then get out of it immediately. Put yourself first and never settle for anything you do not deserve.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-19 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.


Relationship Issues Millennials Face and Ways to Deal with Them

Searching for a love partner and maintaining a relationship has always been difficult but it is a little trickier for millennials. Films such as Love Aaj Kal elaborates on the reality that how people love these days is quite different from that of the previous generations.

Relationship Expert Shivani says that life, in general, has changed immensely which has ultimately affected people’s lifestyles too. In this digital age, love tests are given on small screens and people’s affection is proved using social media posts. And it would not be wrong to say that millennials look to date differently compared to their parents and other generations.

In a world where dating is as simple as a left or right swipe, one cannot deny that dating and relationships have completely changed in today’s time. Although every generation has its fair share of issues, some dating issues are specific to millennials which is partly because of the technology boom.

In this article, India’s eminent Marriage Counselor and Relationship Expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo talks about some of the common relationship problems faced by millennials and ways to deal with them.

Over or Under Sharing on Social Media

Some individuals prefer to share lovey-dovey photographs and posts on social media, others hate it. There is always feasibility of couples getting into arguments or fights because of over or under-sharing on social media. The simplest way to deal with this is that couples should sit and talk and decide what to share and how much to share on social media.

Jealousy Regarding an Act Done on Social Media

Social media activities can probably have bigger consequences in relationships. Finding that your partner has liked a swimsuit or shirtless photo could be disturbing and it can lead to fights. In that scenario, you should always remember that jealousy never serves a productive purpose. And, it is essential not to read too much into your partner’s actions when it comes to social media.

Stress and Depression

Various reports have shown that millennials tend to be more anxious and depressed and they struggle with more mental issues compared to their previous generations, which is partly because of the fast-paced life powered by technology. A stressed or depressed partner can impact a relationship. The ideal method to deal with this is to focus on your partner’s mental health and try out meditation and other remedies or even consulting a counselor if it is the need of the hour to deal with it.

Phubbing

Phubbing is usually when a person ignores his/her partner by repeatedly being on their phones. Believe it or not, some people tend to get lost in their phones more than their partner on dates. This can make your partner feel left out, unwanted, or ignored. Phubbing often acts as a trigger that causes a fight between couples. To avoid this, make a no-phone rule for dates.

Constant Urge for Attention

Nowadays people do not need to wait for days for a letter. A text can be delivered instantly. Because of which people may need constant attention and this could lead to possible conflicts. It is important to give each space and time to each other. And it is of utmost importance to understand when your partner is busy and needs space for their work.

Commitment Concerns

Millennials have more share of problems settling in than the past generations. As there are several choices and a fake sense of perfection, people can easily have commitment and trust issues. For this, one needs to change the way they perceive things and act on a bond that is both strong and sturdy and leads to longevity.

Distractions

In the technology-laden generation, a person is surrounded by distractions all the time. Continuous notifications, social media interactions, a range of gaming options, and plenty of others. Modern life is simply so busy and full of distractions. It means that an individual is unable to dedicate time and effort to a relationship which is a necessity. One method to deal with this is to plan things together that you can do as a couple and do activities that you both like to do together.

Misunderstandings

Misunderstandings have often been part of any relationship. But the problem is nowadays, people mostly either text or send a DM. And to understand a partner’s emotion with just a few word-based texts is obviously harder if not impossible. Because of this, many misunderstandings crop up between couples. The only solution to avoid this is proper communication.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-10 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.