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LITTLE CHANGES THAT CAN MAKE A HUGE IMPACT ON YOUR MARITAL LIFE

Reconstructing a marriage does not always need a colossal intervention. Instead, changing minor daily habits can make a huge difference in how you feel about your marriage and most essentially, how you behave towards your soul mate. Whether you want to keep your marriage healthy or you need to recreate a spark, change some of your daily habits and you’ll be more likely to experience the beautiful marital bliss.

In today’s article Marriage Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo founder of Saarthi Counselling Services talks about little changes that can make a huge impact on your marital life.

Treat Your Bedroom Like A Romantic Haven

The surroundings in your bedroom can either spark romance or put off any passionate fires. If you have got a child sleeping between you, clothes piled up or sheets that haven’t been replaced over time, you are not going to feel an air of romance when you enter your room.  Several couples who take great pride in all other areas of their homes tend to ignore the bedroom. However, if you want to spark some romance, give energy into fixing up and cleaning the bedroom. A little paint on the walls, some new sheets and a bit of organizing can go a long way to putting the mood back in the bedroom.

Set A Goal For Your Marital Life Each Day

Just visualize what could happen if you get up each day with a goal for your marriage. You could do some awesome work. And they would not even have to be big goals. Instead, making a conscious decision every day to do something kind or spend quality time with your partner can go a long way. Even saying, I am going to find 1 positive thing to say to my spouse, or I am not going to be crabby today, can help you remain focused.

Look On What You Contribute Not What You Gain

Have a look at what you are contributing to your marriage each day. Instead of looking at what your partner hasn’t done for you or what’s not working, only pay attention to what you are doing to improve the marriage. If you focus on making life simpler for your spouse, you’ll have less time to focus on how marriage is making your life harder.

Turn Off Distractions

If you have ever said, “Yes,” without having any clue what your partner actually said, it’s a sign that you may tune your spouse out. If your partner’s voice seems to blend into the background, it can cause plenty of communication problems. Get focused and turn off distractions. Put off the TV, laptop and stop using your mobile while you’re trying to listen.

Treat Your Spouse Better Than Anybody Else

Think of how you treat your spouse on your bad days. When you are in a bad mood or are not happy with your partner’s behavior, what should you do? Unfortunately, spouses often seem to get the tough end of the stick. If you had a bad day at work, you are low or you are mad at your spouse, it doesn’t give you authority to behave badly.  Your spouse should get treated better than any other person, be it your friends, your in-laws, and strangers yet sometimes you are on your best behavior with those people and not our spouse.

Remember The Good Times

Marriage is not going to be a fairy tale every day. However, remembering the good times can fuel up lots of positive and loving feelings. Take time to talk about your happy memories, whether it was a vacation you enjoyed, a fun adventure you went, or other times that made both of you happy. Look at photographs together as well and take a walk down memory lane often and remember to work on developing new happy memories as well.

Give Words Of Encouragement

Often criticism comes more easily than encouragement. However, you should be your husband’s/wife’s biggest fan in life. The world can be a tricky place and your spouse needs your support. Offer words of sincere praise and encouragement each and every single day.

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SIGNS YOU NEED MARRIAGE COUNSELLING

best marriage counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo

A large number of marriages are ending in divorces and that too in a society where marriage is considered a sacred thing. It would not take much to know that marriage is not a cakewalk any more at least in today’s fast life.  Marriage needs some serious hard-work, and it is something that most of us fail to focus on.

Though it starts with all the promises of a happily-ever-afters and story like romances, it actually is far away from this. Marriage involves understanding each other on levels beyond sexual compatibility, involving the minors and majors of daily lives. Have you and your partner been sharing a house but not a relationship? Have you been pondering where the spark went off and why you the two of you cannot even have a decent discussion? Well, as a matter of fact, it happens to several couples, some are quick to rebound while some need external help. This is when marriage counseling comes into play. If your marriage is kind of hanging on the rocks, then you can do with some good advice and look for marriage counseling.

In today’s article, Delhi’s top Marriage Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo talks about the signs you need marriage counseling.

You Hardly Talk To Each Other

Effective communication is the secret to solving most problems in life. But if you and your spouse seem to be drifting away from talking to each other, there is something that is definitely not quite right. A marriage counselor can help you communicate effectively with each other, in some innovative ways. Crumble in communication levels between a couple is the first sign of trouble.

When You Talk, It Always Ends Up In Fight

There is always a negative communication. Whenever you two talk, it ends up in a bitter argument or a fight and you end up belittling each other. You ridicule each other or use harsh words and tones to prove your point. While some individuals withdraw from these conversations, some continue to harp on it for hours together. This can even translate into emotional abuse in your marriage.

You Fight For Money And Are Financially Incompatible

Some couples have dissatisfaction with money and finances. Sometimes it is about one partner making more money than the other or the other spending far too much on unnecessary things. Sometimes, one partner feels they do not have sufficient money and gets anxious. Sometimes, the fight is about sharing the expenses. In all these cases, a marriage counselor can help you resolve your concerns about finances and help you get ways to compromise your financial situations.

You Withdraw Love And Care As A Way To Punish

Well, this is actually the most used weapon. Some spouses opt to withdraw all love and care for their partner in an attempt to punish the other after an argument or a fight. They often resort to silent treatment and if you receive this, then it is time to look for help.

When Big Life Changes Happens

Whether it is parenthood, a change in job, moving to a new city, loss of a close family member or something else some disruption in your marriage and life is inevitable. You could be prudent to seek therapy while you go through these changes to cope effectively.

You Are Not On The Same Page On Intimacy And Sex

Sex creates the backbone of marriage. Having too little or excessive sex indicates there is a problem. Some women tend to avoid sex after an unpleasant argument, while some men indulge in too much of it after feeling guilty of some issue. Balanced sex life is a must for a happy marriage, and if that is not happening, you may seek marriage counseling.

You Keep Secrets

Couples who are transparent with each other have relatively better and happy marriages. Partners feel more secure in a relationship when they have the confidence that they know everything about their partner. The moment secrets start creeping in, insecurities start to brew. These minor insecurities sometimes add to big issues and destroy a marriage. A marriage counselor can help you seek changes, and prepare you better for the challenges ahead.

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Why Relationship Counselling today is Getting More Important Than Wedding Vows? – Shared by Marriage Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo

Traditionally, marriages in India is the union of two souls, not just an event that brings two people together. In fact, a few decades back, even a large percentage of urban Indians perceived that marriage bonding continues to exist for the next 7 life and death cycles. Times in 2019 has changed, technology development and the emergence of the global economy has shifted people’s lifestyle, changed life priorities, burdened large middle-class populations under loans & monthly EMIs, and most importantly it has restricted the time that people get to spend with their family.

Unfortunately, the conflict between the perception about marriage that most has received from our childhood and the harsh reality of modern urban Indian society has resulted in a common situation – where people get married without thinking of the chances of separation. And they miss taking most of the vital steps required to strengthen their relationship in the current social situation.

That is why it is sometimes a wise thing to think less of the wedding vows and take time to consider what they could do when the things may hit a rocky patch in the future. This is one of the major reasons why couples should think about marriage counseling on a serious note.

In this article Delhi’s top marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares insight on about the reason marriage counseling is more important than the wedding vows.

Premarital Counselling Helps You To Envisage the Relationship’s Future

Marriage counseling can actually start before the wedding. This counseling could include discussing the couple’s individual family past and the family they plan to develop together, including the possibility of kids, how you will deal with conflict.

You can also visit a marriage or family counselor for premarital counseling, which will help you to start your marriage with a clutter-free mind.

It could be a way to clear up any cynicism or fear of marriage and give you a secure place to talk about things like if, when and how many offsprings you want, how you can deal with monetary issues or other stressors in your relationship and to ensure you have similar values and goals for your relationship, your family and your life together.

Taking the time to have premarital counseling also sets you up to be more open to engaging in marriage counseling later on if you need it.

It Is Not Only About Fixing Things But Developing Stronger Roots.

The most common reasons couples opt for marriage counseling include lack of communication in their relationship, lack of emotional support or engagement and worries that they are probably headed toward divorce.

Other factors that often send couples to therapy include fighting or specific relationship matters like infidelity.

Some people simply want to make their marriages stronger and last longer and look to seek professional help.

While Proceeding For A Counseling, Be Certain About What You Want From It

Most couples engage in marriage counseling once issues have been broiling for months, or even years, and the more you wait to seek help the complex it is to work through the issues. Usually, on an average, a couple waits 6 years more than they should begin counseling.

Know what you need from counseling from the start. Are you and your partner all in, entirely committed to save the marriage, no matter how much effort it takes? Or is one or both of you are certain you want to call it off? Knowing the answers will help define what success feels like, but either way, you must maintain an open mind about the process.

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INDICATIONS YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS GOING DOWNHILL

Everything was perfect between you and your spouse after you tied in the knot. In fact, years after your wedding, you were enjoying each other’s company and exchanging pleasantries. You had every reason, to believe that your dream marriage is going to stay forever.

But now there is a twist in your story.

You both have all of a sudden started bickering over minor issues and a feeling of trifling between you two are growing at an alarming pace. The innocuous arguments that kept your love as an eternally burning flame until now, have turned into rounds of intermittent altercations. There was a period when you used to fall head over heels for each other, now you are finding it hard even to get along.

Is this what is reflecting your own life nowadays? Are you feeling a similar change of emotion and attitude for your partner?

Ups and downs are bound to happen in any relationship and the testing times like these give couples a chance to grow stronger. But it doesn’t necessarily occur all the time and therefore, one has to address the bothersome doubts and if possible, nip the issues in the bud.

In this article, Shivani Misri Sadhoo, Delhi’s top marriage counseling expert talks about indications your relationship is going downhill. Here they are.

Sudden Breakdown In Communication

The first calamity of any troubled relationship is the breakdown of communication. The breaking down of communication does not necessarily mean you have completely stopped talking. It essentially means the way of your communication has changed considerably. That is, now you are just speaking with each other inadequately not connecting to each other heart to heart. So, it is actually a bad sign when speaking to each other seems cursory. If the pattern of your communication persists the same way, it creates a distance and disconnection in your marital life. As a result, it makes you feel lesser affection and fondness for your partner. When communications get hampered in this way than the things that otherwise appear simple to talk about starts giving uncomfortable feelings now. If you are caught up in a similar scenario, just give your relationship the topmost priority rather than doing anything else.

Trust Is Fading Away

Trust is one of the most important factors of a relationship. If you are even remotely feeling the trust between you two is wearing away, it shows your relationship is going to get a jolt sooner or later. In general, the common worry linked with the lack of trust is that one partner thinks the other one might be doing something suspicious. This is a precarious situation that often leads to a lot of quarrels, which in turn results in all forms of accusations being thrown around. Such a situation will add another layer of the problem in your relationship because you or your spouse will start asking questions about something that may not be happening at all.

Arguments Over Same Things Keeps Happening

Disagreement with your partner over several issues is a common thing because that’s what individual opinions are all about and your marriage or relationship is no different. But when the ego gets bigger and then arguments happens even on pettiest of issues; then these are warning bells. It will then be just a matter of time when your arguments will turn into mudslinging, name-calling, or even cross the limits of respectful disagreements. If you let your arguments seriously up the ante like this and blame each another, you might end up damaging your relationship.

No More Excitement

There were days when you were so much into romance but now something is wrong, and you are confused where all the fun has gone. You loved to give and get surprises every now and then, you used to go for vacations, enjoying sex and you both were busy making memories for your lifetime. But the same excitement now does not exist. It is even impossible for you to go on a date. But there is always a possibility of something good may happen. If you are sure it’s the lack of fun and excitement that is harming your relationship, ensure to double it up now. Make every effort small or big to make your partner laugh and happy. Things will become smoother.

You Are No More Careful About Your Partner’s Views And Desires

Sometimes a complaint can turn into criticism and if it converts into a personality or character judgment, then the base of your marriage has started shaking up. If you are further putting each other down or continuously criticizing each other, you are no longer a good couple. The worse situation is if you do not respect your partner anymore, then it is highly unlikely that you will love your partner again. It is therefore vital to respect your partner’s views and desires to keep your relationship going.

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SIGNS THAT SOMEONE IS IN LOVE WITH YOU

Are you not sure if a person is or is not in love with you? Maybe you are with somebody who you think is in love with you but has not said those big 3 words yet? Some people can find it extremely difficult to say “I Love You”. However, it doesn’t always mean that they don’t. They may just show it in some different ways. It can be quite hard to know for sure if someone loves you, particularly when they don’t make it very obvious.

Sometimes, actions speak louder than words and you may be able, to tell the truth just by observing any nonverbal signs that your partner may be giving you.

There could be several reasons as to why your partner is holding back on saying the actual words, such as past relationships, not being able to open up easily and many more but they could be showing you in various ways.

In this article, Delhi’s eminent Marriage Counsellor and Relationship Expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo tells about signs that someone is in love with you.

The Way They Look At You

A major sign that someone is falling in love with you is through their eye contact. This is a nonverbal sign that means a lot, and reveal deeper feelings from your partner. When you catch your partner glancing over at you, or looking at you while you are talking, this may that they love spending time with you and are happy to be with you. Even when you are busy talking with someone else, you may still catch your partner looking at you and this can be a significant sign that they are in love with you and are really happy to be around you.

They Want To Take Care Of You

If your partner rushes to take care of you, whether you are ill or are in any difficult situation, this is a great sign that they love you.

If they ask you questions to check how you feel and if you need anything, this could be a way of saying that they love you, they want you to be fine and will ensure it.

Someone who loves another person will often look to care for them makes sure they are happy and be there when they need to be, so look for this sign in the person, as it is a great indicator that they might be in love with you.

They Respect Your Personal Space

If you feel like having personal space, they will make sure to give you some. Your partner should listen to you and understand that you need some space, which has to be respected. If your partner leaves you while you have some time to yourself, including not bothering you with messages or just showing up uninvited, then this can really show that they love you.

When someone knows that you need sometimes alone, even if it’s for 2 to 3 hours or maybe a few days, they will understand and respect your decision.

They Ask For Your Suggestion

When someone is in love, they will often hold their partner’s opinions and views very highly and always want their advice on important decisions. Your partner will ask for suggestion on certain things and they know that you will most likely give them good advice that will help them, and that represents a great deal of trust.

Whatever the situation; like something to do with their job, or if they need help with a particular problem, they will ask for your advice as they value your opinion.

They Will Make You Feel Good About Who You Are

It is always good to have someone who makes you feel good about yourself, even on your worst days. When your significant other cannot only make you happy normally but also make you feel good about yourself and who you are, it shows they respect your identity.

Your partner may not even know what they are doing, but the way they behave and act with you can have a great impact on your relationship, for all the correct reasons. When someone wants you to be happy with who you are and finds a method to do so, they may be in love with you.

They Will Drop Everything With You

When a person puts his own needs and wants to be with you, this can be a great sign that someone loves you. If you really care about someone, you are most likely be there when your partner needs you, even if this involves dropping and postponing everything you are doing at the time.

If someone does this for you, it shows that they want to support and comfort you when you actually need it, which is a signifies that they really care for you and your needs.

They Ask About Your Day

Generally, in relationships, you ask your partner how their day has been and want to know what they are up to. This proves that you care about your partner and what has either upset them or made them excited during their day. If your partner is showing interest in your day and what is occurring when they are not with you, this is an indicator of a loving relationship. It may be high or low points of your day, but whatever it is, they want to know and are eager to listen.

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WHEN YOU ARE IN A GOOD RELATIONSHIP, YOU WILL LEARN THESE THINGS

You may have had serious relationships before meeting someone special. You thought you were an adult. You thought you knew how to be a great partner. Meeting someone you have had a serious connection and thought you that nothing you had experienced before was real. True love feels different as compared to casual relationships even when those relationships lasted for years (often well past their shelf life!).  

When you are in a good and strong relationship, you learn things. You behave differently; you think as part of a team, not as an individual making their way through the world. You are more considerate and accepting of your partner, instead of just getting frustrated with them as you may have been in the past relationships.

In this article, Delhi’s top Marriage Counselor and Relationship Expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo tells about when you are in a good relationship, you will learn these things.

Misunderstandings Are Inevitable

Misunderstandings are bound to happen in your marital life. If you take your partner’s words one way, then learn they meant something else completely, don’t punish them. Let it go. Criticizing all the time is only going to bruise the relationship and cause communication problems later. Sometimes what you say or do can be taken the other way around, and you will get frustrated that your partner does not understand. Take a step back and realize it is not a big deal.

Misunderstandings only become a concern if you let them grow bigger and mean more in the scope of your relationship. Choose your battles wisely. Not every misunderstanding needs your attention.

Learn To Trust Them

You need to trust your partner. Why would you share your life with someone when you think they are doing something improper every time you turn your back? If you cannot trust your partner to be faithful, honest, caring, or anything else, then you are not in a good relationship. The best relationships start with deep trust, and even if problems arise (and they will!), the trust is strong enough to keep you stay together.

Encourage Growth And Change

In a good marital relationship, both partners are strengthened to grow and change. You have one life to live you should explore it completely! If you want to quit your job and want to learn something else, your partner must support you. If you want to try something new or go back to something old, you should get support in your relationship. And you should be supportive in return. Motivate your partner to explore hobbies and interests and meet new people. If you wish your partner to stay the same, you are bound to have a very boring life together.

Admit Your Weaknesses

Your partner never expects you to be a superhero, and hopefully, you do not expect that of them as well. You are all human; you all have flaws. It’s fine to let these shows. In fact, to have a balanced, serious relationship, you need to let your weaknesses be known. Your partner will be more sensitive to things that bother you and can help develop you up in areas where you need some help.

Show Your Feelings

The worst thing you can do in a relationship is to play games. Do not tease your partner; reward good deeds with love and affection. You have to make sure that your partner feels loved. You can be happy with them or be disappointed at them as long as you aren’t disrespectful. They need to know about your feelings at the moment as well.  But make sure you’re showing your feelings in a manner without being mean or nasty.

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TIPS TO AVOID THE 7-YEAR ITCH IN YOUR MARRIAGE

At some point in several long-term relationships, couples experience a rough patch, a time when they spar more than normal, feel bored and restless, and might even fantasize about being with someone else. This psychological term “7-year itch” became trendy in the 1950s when a movie by the same name handled the notion that many of you lose interest in your monogamous relationships after 7 years (though it is more popularly remembered as the movie where Marilyn Monroe posed over a subway grate while her white dress blew above her thighs).

If you or your spouse become inflicted with the 7-year itch, it does not mean automatic divorce.  On the contrary, it is completely normal.

In any venture boredom sets in overtime — this is due to the novel becomes the routine, after 7 years, many couples go through this period.  They find their partner irritating or boring and wonder if they’d be better off in a different relational state. But you don’t have to lose your sleep over it. In fact, consider it as a sign to improve your relationship. It’s quite easy to fix that feeling.

In this article, Delhi’s top Marriage Counsellor and Relationship Expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo share tips to avoid the 7-year itch in your marriage. Here they are:

Change The Way You Think About Love

Many people mistake love for a noun, whereas, in reality, it’s a verb, an action that’s dynamic, constantly inflow. It’s not a static thing. Think of love as water and your relationship as a long and winding river that makes it flow. Yes, there would be quiet pools and rocky patches, but that’s part of the adventurous journey. And adventure is a nice thing.

Sex Is Perhaps Going To Change

Everyone remembers the hot and passionate sex couples were having at the start of their relationship: At times the kind of sex that made you call in sick from work. You may still enjoy bouts of passionate sex, certainly, but you must know that your sex life will change because your bodies and libidos change as you grow further. Do not think your sex life needs to be that of a 25-year-old. As you age, your sex drives diminish. This is a function of your biology. Allow your sex life to change over time. If you expect it to remain the way it was, you’ll destroy its present and future expression.

Work On Yourself First

It is easy to blame your spouse when your relationship bores, irritates, or makes you upset, and to think things like this. If only he would do the dishes from time to time; if only he cared about holidays and so on.  But blaming your spouse, then trying to change them will only lead to acrimony and anger. These emotions damage relationships. The best remedy for an interesting relationship is to become an interesting person. What you can do runs the spectrum, from taking a new route to work, to reading books, to playing board games together rather than watching TV at night. After all, small steps lead to big shifts in personality and perception.

Experience Life Together

The ideal way to combat boredom in a relationship is to fill your life with wonderful adventures that you can look forward to as a couple,

If you have children, make it a point to (minimum twice a year) take a vacation from them. You can really appreciate each other when the children are not around. If you cannot take a vacation, have a relative or friend watch them for a weekend and opt for a ‘staycation.’ Do something physical together. Go hiking or for a run, exercise is an amazing bonding experience.

Communicate Often

If you want to avert bickering over nonsense, the best stuff you can do as a couple learns to communicate frequently and without restrictions. Talk frequently and honestly to each other about your problems, sex, anger, disappointment, and appreciation of each other. No topic should be avoided. Learn to listen and communicate rather than fighting. Fighting is childish, and you aspire for a grown-up relationship.

Get Handsy

Hugging and touching has long been proven to lower stress, strengthen the immune system, and release oxytocin, that helps people bond with each other. Thus, it’s no surprise that touching your partner on a regular basis can keep you more connected and in sync with each other’s physical and emotional needs.

Sit near your significant one, and gently place your hand on their shoulder, leg, or arm. If you are in the car, lightly touch his/her shoulder or arm. You’ll notice your conversation becomes warmer and more caring. If you have been struggling, or are ready to forgive each other, facing each other and holding both hands will help you feel more strongly connected and reassured.

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7 SIGNS YOU ARE DATING SOMEONE EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE

When a person is said to be emotionally unstable, what it means is that the individual’s reaction to issues is unpredictable. The person’s behavior is a disorder or has an altitudinal defect. It is very difficult to be in a relationship with an emotionally unstable kind of personality and sometimes it also is frustrating. Because you are not able to understand what to do to please or annoy them. Sometime, they may approve or sometimes they react violently to the same thing.

Generally, an angry emotionally unstable partner can be brutal. Emotional instability is different from emotional immaturity. The latter refers to a formative phase in one’s life where one is still discovering oneself. It is usually transitory; it has nothing to do with being immature. It often arises as a result of a fault in upbringing or a personality disorder. Before you get into someone or they get into you, it is usually good to first ascertain their emotional stability. In the current scenario, one of the leading causes of marital and relationship break up is an emotional incompatibility.

In this article, Delhi’s eminent marriage counselor and relationship expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo talk about 7 signs you are dating someone emotionally unstable.

Impulsive Decisions

In life, at one point everyone has to take impulsive decisions and it doesn’t mean that everyone is unstable. But a person takes a decision which damages their own property because they didn’t take time to think it through, then such kind of person is unstable emotionally. For example, a partner who is into gambling or play without planning of finance is looser always. They may agree to a contract without taking time to thoroughly study and understand its terms and conditions. They only get to regret later when the contract is now taking its effect on them. So, when you are dating take care of their decision. It is going to be up to you to decide whether to continue with them or leave.

Easily Angered

Violent the reaction comes when they get angry because they easily lose their control and injure the valuable property. For a healthy person, they have some limitations of expression of their anger but they don’t have any kind of boundary for anger and this is a serious issue for a healthy relationship when you are going to make.

Hardly Show Emotions

Emotional instability as the expression of extreme negative behavior but there is a subtle symptom of this personality disorder. For example, a normal person would scream at the sight of a horrible scene but an emotionally unstable individual may react differently. Most of the times, if you are walking with such a person, you may constantly see yourself as a fool because the things you would expect them to react to normal, they won’t.

Constantly Get Tired

One may notice symptoms of emotional instability such as being incessant and extreme fatigue. The reason behind emotional disorder is psychological effects. It is the fact that they easily feel fatigued and exhausted without doing any physical exercise. Their mind is always cluttered and full with a lot of negative thoughts and useless thoughts, the brain storage is full & trying to free the mind from such thought. And it might lead to getting weak or stressed out in a short interval of time.

Blame For Their Error

In the case of being unstable emotionally, the person in front of him is always wrong except himself and for this reason, the partner of such kind of personality should be too strong to present their views on the discussion going on. Whenever any misfortune occurs, they start yelling and blaming for the same. Actually, there are times or circumstances when we are not directly responsible for what befalls us and not able to control accordingly

Find Hard To Sleep

Not being able to sleep when required is something anyone can experience who has an emotionally unstable mind. Most of the time, the mind is not at peace which doesn’t let them sleep. For people with unstable emotions, their minds are usually overactive. While they lay on the bed, their minds are usually wondering about frivolous things.

Hard To Forgive

Forgiveness is a thing which directly comes from the heart and a healthy mind can do it. Because in forgiveness first surrender one’s right and then letting go of wrong things. Sometimes they say that they have forgiven but when they go back in the memory and search out the things in their mind then they still carry with them.

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5 WAYS TO OVERCOME ROMANTIC REJECTION

Nobody likes being rejected. When it comes to love, you put many of your hopes, emptiness, and traumas out into the open. Therefore, getting over romantic rejection is sometimes quite difficult. But it always depends.

The loss of great love can be devastating if you carry inside the unhealthy seed of feeling abandoned. It can also hurt when your age catches up to, or if you are on a time in your lives when you are really vulnerable. If there is cheating or abuse, that might also make getting over romantic rejection very hard.

In spite of all the happenings, there is always a way out. Getting up and moving ahead is never easy, but it’s not impossible.

In this article, Delhi’s top Relationship Expert and Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo reveals 5 ways to overcome romantic rejection.

Getting Over Romantic Rejection By Checking Your Wounds

The first thing you must do, even when it hurts, is to pull off your improvised bandage and check the magnitude of your wound. What did you actually lose?

It is essential that you answer that question with sheer honesty. Sometimes you aren’t losing the love of your life, as you may believe, just illusions and expectations.

It’s quite possible that the most painful thing is not the loss itself. Sometimes, your ego hurts more. Probably, it brought up your old doubts about yourself because your self-love is already hurt.

The loss only shows you that reality without anesthesia. For getting over romantic rejection, you must look at what you had invested in that relationship.

Express Yourself By Every Possible Way

Feelings that are not expressed mostly turn into pain. Particularly, when it comes to negative feelings. This is why you must use all possible ways to let them out.

There are several kinds of ways to do it, not just talking time and again about what happened. You can write, for instance. As much as needed.

You can even paint your pain or you can dance. Anything that allows you to free those feelings is valid.

Refocus

Because of the psychological impact of the loss, you are might be thinking gloomy thoughts. Without realizing it, you start to focus only on the most negative aspects of everything. You unwittingly select the most painful interpretations of the facts and you focus on all the negative things in the world.

But refrained getting carried away by it. What you must do is refocus your attention in a more constructive way. Never allow the pain to invade your whole being, because it won’t give you anything but bitterness.

Aim to bring positive thoughts into your mind. Engage your will in appreciating all the good that still exists. This will be a huge help for getting over romantic rejection.

Free Yourself From Unrealistic Thoughts

Our society insists that loss or failure is totally unwanted. But it has been completely proven that this is not true. First, because situations like this are inevitable. Every human being goes through failure. And secondly, since there is no bigger opportunity to grow than from difficult experiences.

Romantic rejection is not the end of the world. Despite what soap operas and songs depict. In fact, it’s completely the opposite. Every ending also marks a beginning. What happens should happen. And it is always positive if you want it to be positive.

Take Advantage Of This Chance To Make Changes In Your Life

If you think you cannot continue living like this, good. It is time for you to focus on changing. Do not think about the person you have lost, think about other aspects of your life.

There’s always something to throw away, there’s always something to begin. Focus on that.

Nothing is better for overcoming a romantic rejection than to introduce fresh things to your life. Learning something new is always a great choice.

It keeps your mind occupied and that raises your eyes up to focus on new areas. It’s also great to change up your social circles or work on developing new habits.

You should be aware that nothing you do will automatically take away the pain. Wounds to the heart always take time to heal. Do not hurry.

Tolerate suffering and think about how it helps you to go ahead. Feed hope and do not fall into the trap of isolation. Believe that everything will turn out well. 

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5 Essential Tips to Survive Your Spouse’s Midlife Crisis

Often very few people are capable of managing the midlife crisis, learn from it, and move on towards a more fruitful life. There are few who transforms into a smaller form of their personality and impose colossal discomfort on the people around them. Primarily focusing on self and your kids can be understood as the easiest way of surviving your partners midlife crisis.

Even if your spouse handles their midlife crisis without doing much harm or damages to people around, they tend to go through changes of some kind. These alterations may leave you wondering about what could be done to help yourself (and your spouse) in saving your relationship. Surviving your spouse’s midlife crisis is not an easier task but it is workable when you take the right steps.

In this article, Delhi’s top marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo talk about 5 essential tips to survive your spouse’s midlife crisis.

Focusing On Your Children And Self

You aren’t doing any great favors to yourself and your spouse if you are obsessed with what their thinking or actions are. Don’t be too over-possessive. Still, however, you have complete control over the choices you make.

Shift your focus on things that are in your control. No use of overthinking about your spouse’s problems, it’s often that you are filled with negative thoughts in your head. These negative thoughts will eventually impact you and your kids.

It’s best to fill your time with a hobby that will distract you from your spouse’s behaviors during their mid-life crisis. If there is a stressful environment at home, plan for activities for yourself and your children away from that environment. Do take steps that will keep you and your kids from becoming victims during your spouse’s midlife crisis.

Defining Clear Boundaries With Your Spouse

The simplest way to keep your spouse’s ruthless behavior from creating stress in your life is to defining boundaries and sticking to those boundaries with your spouse. In case your spouse is cheating on you, make them realize that this part of their life shouldn’t allow intruding into your life. Simply tell him or her that you don’t want to know anything about their extramarital relationships and tell that you don’t want to be in a conflict or be a part of a love triangle.

There may be an instinct to find out about the other person. Even spying on your spouse, reading their emails, checking their mobile phones and hacking their computers, these tend to be feeding your curiosity to know about them. But the fact is, people going through a midlife crisis, will do what continues with relationships regardless of what your feelings are. Let it go. Let things take up its own course and gracefully accept the fact that you have no control over the situation. Don’t let it hamper your way of living your life.

Channelize Your Anger Towards A Healthy Way

Often Anger could be considered as a normal reaction to your spouse’s midlife crisis, especially when it is adversely affecting you. The anger could be at its optimal, but venting out it will only make you feel better in the short-term. For some, talking things out can help ease their feelings, while others find that it exacerbates the situation. Venting the anger on your spouse spontaneously won’t change his or her behavior, but will lead to more complications in your relationship.

The best way to vent out the anger is to have a non-confrontational approach. Join a gym, throw water balloons against the house walls. Burn the pictures of bad memories and flush out. The approach is to cope up with your anger in a manner that doesn’t involve your spouse. Screaming, cursing, or crying won’t impact your spouse who is going through a midlife crisis.

Don’t Start A Talk On Relationship With Your Spouse

In any relationship, there is an option of discussing relationships & solving every problem mutually. But you’re no longer that couple and you cannot expect your spouse to care about working through your relationship issues.

In place of living in your past relationship sweet memories, pick up new hobbies, focus on your career, or find reasons to be away from your house. Make a habit of prioritizing yourself which can truly help you get healed.

Listen Without Any Judgmental Notions

When your spouse initiates a conversation with you, listen without being too critical. Chances are that your spouse might be experiencing self-doubts and confused about what they are going through, so listening em-pathetically is the key. Any sarcastic comments are to be avoided. It is easier said than done, particularly when they seem to be irrational or are undeserving of your sympathy.