Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo

Do You Have the Fear of Sleep (Somniphobia) Here are the Tips to Overcome It

Many people cannot wait for the night to come so that they can go to bed and enjoy a resting until the morning, specifically, if they have a good quality mattress beneath them, the one that can give a good night’s rest. But for a few, that is a quite scary, almost a horrifying experience. Yes, here counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo is talking about the fear of sleep, or as it is also called Somniphobia, that can make your life miserable and affect your both physical and mental well-being.

For persons who have this phobia, the idea of falling asleep is unimaginable. There is no logical explanation for this, but for some reason, they are afraid to fall asleep and that they will never get up because something terrible might happen, or that the same old nightmare will be waiting to haunt them as soon as they close their eyes.

What is Somniphobia?

This phobia has several names such as hypnophobia, clinophobia, somniphobia, sleep dread, and sleep anxiety. It is an irrational fear of falling asleep because of what may happen while you are unconscious. The general scenario implies an individual worrying all day long about having to go to sleep, and then, when the moment arrives, their anxiety levels are so high that their body cannot relax enough for them actually to get some rest.

It is clear that at a certain point, the person will fall asleep, but their resting moment will be of low quality and frequently disturbed. If that pattern keeps happening, and it nearly always does when it comes to this phobia, after a certain time, the health of the individual will be jeopardized. So, if you recognize yourself in these steps, you need to know how to overcome somniphobia, because it is not a matter to ignore and it can have serious implications after some time.

Through this blog, India’s leading Psychologist and Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo talks about somniphobia and how to overcome it.

Things that Causes Somniphobia or Fear of Sleep

There could be various for this phobia Here are some prominent ones.

·         Anxiety

·         Nightmares

·         Fear of Death

·         Sleepwalking

·         Sleep Talking

·         Sleep Paralysis

·         Trauma

·         Horror Movies or Stories

Fear of Falling Asleep Symptoms

Your body is always telling you if something is a bit right, one way or another. You need to listen to it properly, pay attention to every detail, and changes it goes through because it can lead you to the core of the issue. When it comes to your sleep deprivation caused due to fear of falling asleep, these are infallible signs. They are:

·         Daytime Sleepiness

·         Mood Swings

·         Memory Loss

·         Chronic Fatigue

Other Symptoms

Some of your body reactions will not so clearly point to having this sort of problem, but if you noticed some of those repeating actions, and you are aware you have been deprived of sleep, you need to think about consulting with the professional.

If you begin feeling distressed as the night time and the bedtime inches closer if you counter the urge to sleep and look to stay up as late as possible if you feel panic attacks or trouble breathing when the night arrives, this could be the problem you are facing. Also, if you find it hard to think about anything else, then the fear of sleep, or have a problem remembering stuff, it is likely you have clinophobia.

On the other side, some symptoms could be extreme nausea or other stomach issues when the time for bed comes, just as the feeling of great pressure around the chest area, and faster heart rate after a minute or two spent in the bed. It might happen you experience things like hyperventilation, extreme sweating, and shaking, while children can start crying and screaming when their parents look to leave the room.

Some Individuals often tend to consume alcohol or some other substances in order to get sleep. Some have strict rules that require to be applied, such as leaving television, lights, and the music on to distract them.

Is There Any Risk Factor?

If you or someone in your family who suffers or suffered from some kind of phobia or extreme anxiety, it is more likely for you to have this specific phobia of sleeping or some other. Though there are no clear thing claiming there is a genetic link, but the reality is chances are increased.

Also, having one of several sleep disorders or a serious medical condition might be a factor of higher somniphobia risk. For instance, if you have a heart-related problem that could lead to death, you may start being afraid of that happening in the night while you are asleep. Eventually, that kind of fear can lead to sleep phobia.

Consulting a professional is the best thing you can do if suspecting you have this sort of problem. They will need primarily to diagnose it properly, and then they will assist you to overcome it. It is not something that will go away all of a sudden, without help, and it is serious enough to impact your physical and mental health, as well as your regular life.

How Can You Treat Somniphobia?

Once it comes to a conclusion on the main source of your phobia, the therapist prescribes you a certain treatment. They could be:

Exposure Therapy

This kind of therapy includes working with a psychologist on exposing your fear and slowly overcoming it. This means talking about the fear, experimenting with some relaxing techniques, and thinking about what it will mean to have a good night’s rest. Sometimes this method may include spending time in a sleep lab or with a professional who stays there while you sleep.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

CBT is based on your counter and challenging the bad thoughts that stop you from sleeping peacefully. That could be pointed to thoughts related to sleep itself or towards the fear that forces you not wanting to go to bed. Usually, the therapist will recommend a sleep restriction method, which means that you required to go to bed and get up every day at the same time, irrespective if you have slept or not.

Medication

There are not medications for phobia, but some of them can decrease anxiety and other symptoms. If there is no other method, then depending on your condition you may be prescribed some medicine.

Conclusion

People who have never experienced something like this cannot probably understand what you are going through, the agony of feeling extremely fatigued but countering the urge to sleep so hard while experiencing all sorts of unpleasant symptoms. The vital thing is not to develop a stigma around it, but to accept you have an issue, the one that is not so uncommon as you thought and is treatable. Be aware that if you keep continuing to ignore it, as several people tend to, you will keep exposing your body to extreme levels of stress that could and most likely will lead to some sort of health problem.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-10 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high. 

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service! 

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

Relationship Trouble? Research Indicates Online Couples and Marriage Counseling Can Help



The relationships with other people need to be healthy for mental and emotional wellbeing which is most important for our happiness and survival. Partners, those who can support, communicate, listen, and encourage each other emotionally and practically have less stress in their relationship. And they are definitely having a healthier relationship.

Communication Problem

Every relationship has ups and downs whereas the successful couples have learned, how to come out or manage any kind of difficult situation nicely. According to the blog by counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo, “The root cause of any relationship facing problem is due to poor communication.”

Some Surveys for Divorce

More than 37% of couples who blame their partner for their marriage ending 6% blame themselves.

While 74% of couples reported that they work hard to keep their marriage protected.

Causes and Consequence

Majorly some of the reasons for relationship troubles between partners are money, lack of commitment, communication, addiction, and at worst cases abuses.

Willing Couples Can Solve Their Disputes Easily

Thanks to Shivani Misri Sadhoo – who is India’s leading Marriage Counselor and Relationship Expert,  now you can avail her services regarding marital counseling online where she can help you to get your married life back on track, solve disputes and family issues, in a constructive manner.

Does Online Couples Counseling Work?

Research and studies indicate that couples who engage in online relationship counseling with a qualified therapist see an improvement in their overall relationships. All couples go through torrid patches, but when the tough times fail to improve, certain things can aid the partners to get back on the same page. In fact, it can be more effective when one compares it with in-person or face-to-face counseling because it lets the counselor notice how you are behaving with your partner while at home when compared to an office-based counseling session.

What Can One Expect in Online Couples Counseling?

During the starting sessions of counseling, you will meet with your therapist online. You won’t have to jump into the problems that you as a couple are having. First, the marriage counselor will get to know each of you. They will find out your individual personalities and how you come together as a couple.

Before understanding the difficulties that you two are having, the couples counselor requires understanding who you are and what you bring to this relationship. Post the initial couple of sessions, your couples counselor will discuss the admissible issues in your relationship. Then your therapist will figure out a plan as to how to navigate through the roadblocks.

Advantages of Online Couple Therapy

·         It is more affordable for couples where it saves your time and gives you privacy.

·         Very comfortable for group sessions.

·         Easily Accessible.

·         It is most useful for long-distance partners.

·         Get your documents online.

More Features

At the time of online sessions of counseling, all the records for the therapy remains confidential and secured. No one can see or access your documents or things that you have discussed if you want. It keeps your identity completely safe.

What to Expect in an Online Couples Therapy:

Most of the couples are seeking for marriage counseling and therapists to resolve their major issues and to understand the cause of their conflict in the family.

·         Get to the root of the problems.

·         Develop goals and a timeline.

·         Learn new skills to improve relationships.

·         Homework outside of sessions.

·         Limit your weakness or vulnerability.

·         Work with a qualified couples counselor.

Other Benefits of Online Couple Counseling

·         A qualified counselor’s advice.

·         Structural planning to achieve goals.

·         Learn the techniques to improve the relationship.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-10 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high. 

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service! 

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.



The Mystery of Loving an Abuser

When we are in a relationship with a person, we have an additional bond with that person with all humanity. Imagine the bond to be a very strong silver code that ties, two people together. Because we are “suckers for punishment”. It literally sucks us back to the person until we either realize that we no longer need them and move on.

Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo says identify an abusive partner else it becomes way too late. An abusive partner is insidious and slowly consumes away your confidence and self-esteem. Where the impacts are for the long term may be life long and might take even longer to recover. One should never willingly enter into an abusive relationship, even when someone close to you warns, what they can see but you cannot.

This blog by India’s leading psychologist and counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo discusses abuse and why some people still love a person who has abused them.

Abuse is Common

More than 3 Million incidents of partner’s violence are reported each year, including both a man and a woman. 1/3rd of women and 1/4th of men have experienced some sort of interpersonal violence and for one-fourth of women and one-seventh of men, it’s severe.

A woman gets physically beaten or assaulted every 9 seconds.

20 persons are abused by their intimate partner each minute, adding about 10 million every year.

Some Facts About Abusers

Both men and women can be victims. If someone you love says they’ve been the victim of domestic or emotional violence, you should believe and support them, since no gender is safe and no amount of physical strength or emotional fortitude protect against abuse.

·         Usually, abuse takes place behind closed doors.

·         Abusers blame the victim.

·         Violence is proceeded by verbal abuse.

·         Abusers deny their actions.

·         The abuser desires to be correct and in control.

·         The abuser is possessive and could try to isolate their partner from friends or family.

·         The abuser is hypersensitive and could react with rage.

·         Two-thirds of violence perpetrators have been drinking alcohol, using drugs.

You may not realize that abusers feel powerless. They never act insecure to hide the truth. One common thing is that their motive is to have power over their victim. To them, communication is a win-lose game.

Reasons Why One Still Loves an Abuser

There are some reasons why one still loves an abuser. One of the points one raises is that falling in love is natural. So, if somehow things go awful. It does not mean that they should leave the abuser. Thoughts like forgiveness and kindness rule the course. Let us take some of the reasons why one still loves an abuser?

Being Refused to Survive

If one was not treated with respect in his/her family and has low self-esteem, he/she will tend to deny the abuse. Often thoughts cross probably I deserve the same. And blaming oneself is often easy stating probably it’s your own fault. And the life without that person has no meaning.

Projection, Glorification and Recurrence Compulsion

Sometimes thoughts of unpleasant childhood run amok. Maybe if the abuser reminds you of one of your parents. Then thinking liking probably now you can mend the things keeps on running in your mind. You end up believing that this could be the time of redeeming your overall past and secure a future.

The Cycle

Just like a fact that a honeymoon cannot go on forever. Similarly, you get yourself in a trap believing the one or two incidents of being abused will not be repeated. This gives you the belief that you can stay together.

Empathy

Many people feel that having empathy with an abuser will help things to go better. However, in doing so one often ignores empathy for himself/herself. As a result, you start to deny the fact that you are living with pain.

These are often some of the reasons that force one to stay with an abuser. Even if there is a repeated offense.

What to Do

If one is being mentally and emotionally abused, believe your gut instincts. Know that it is not correct and you do not need to live this way. Otherwise, your options come down to the specifics of your circumstances.

·         Accept that the abuse isn’t your responsibility.

·         Disengage and set personal boundaries.

·         Exit the relationship or circumstances.

·         Give yourself time to heal.

·         If you feel you are in violent, controlling, a co-dependent or abusive relationship or want to get recovery from such a relationship contact.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-10 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high. 

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service! 

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

Reasons Why the Most Vital Relationship is the One you Have with Yourself

You will also have various kinds of relationships with several people throughout your lives. Each of them can bring something unique, whether it is good or bad. Relationships with partner, family, friends, and colleagues will add to your life’s rich tapestry of experiences.

However, when you are living alone there is one key relationship that matters more than any other in your life. This is the relationship that you have with yourself.

This blog by India’s top Relationship Expert and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo revolves around the reasons why the most vital relationship in the one you have with yourself.

It is a Lifelong Relationship

The relationship you have with yourself is the sole one that you can be completely sure will last as long as you do, so it is essential to get it right. Though there are possibly to be some bumps along the road, this is a journey that you will always be undertaking with yourself. Learn to enjoy your own company and be gentle to yourself.

Knowing Yourself is Important

Understanding your own strengths and weaknesses can assist you to make the correct decisions in life. It is important to take that time to get to know yourself so that you understand your real dreams, worries, and abilities. This might mean giving more time for daily reflection which could assist you to feel more driven and confident and equally feel more certain about who you are.

Being Selfish can be Beneficial

You all need to prioritize yourself at least some of the time. Valuing the relationship, you have with yourself will let you do what is right for you rather than always placing other people first. You must place as much importance on the relationship you have with yourself as you do on those with your closest friends. You should therefore be ready to invest just as much time and effort into it, even if it means taking time out for yourself every now and then.

Its What you Do that Matters

The worthiest things in life are not the things that you own, but the things you spend your time doing. Investing in yourself by learning and developing new skills, practicing your favorite hobby, making something, or simply putting in some effort into a big project is what will make you most fulfilled. The happiest moments are usually in the middle of a big challenge or when you have achieved something that counts.

Being Independent is Important

Being able to depend upon yourself is important, specifically when you are living alone. You need to develop the skills that will enable you to be self-sufficient, not only in practical matters but in emotional ones as well. Learning to trust yourself more, is one of the most critical results of forming a strong relationship with yourself. It can help you to feel stronger, braver, and more capable.

It is Good for Your Mental and Physical Health

Mental health is also as important as your physical wellbeing. When you are living alone and having a good attitude and understanding towards yourself can be very advantageous for your mental health and emotional wellbeing. You will be better at handling the negative emotions and more aware of any signs of mental health issues. Having better self-awareness and knowledge to understand what in life makes you happy, sad, content, satisfied, and subsequently making changes in your life and allotting priorities accordingly will bring positive outcomes to how you feel every day.

Being familiar with your own body is essential for your health. You need to develop a good relationship with your body in an attempt to keep them healthy and to be able to recognize any signs of trouble. Forming a better relationship with yourself can help you to eat better, avail more sleep, and remain fit and healthy.

Other’s Opinion is Just that

Even though listening to other people is and could be important, your own opinions are what actually matters most. You must value your own judgment and not allow yourself to be swayed too much by other people. Simply because someone thinks that your routine or work is uninteresting or your style is out of date, it does not mean that you have to agree. They are welcome for their opinions, but be sure about sticking to your own. Your self-esteem is mostly linked to what other people think of you, or at least what you perceive others think of you.  Thus, it is important to feel comfortable in your own skin, having your own judgments, and with your own set of likes and dislikes helping you to shape who you are.

You are the Truly One Who Actually Understand Yourself

Every individual is a bit complex, unique, and changeable, which means that it can be difficult for even the closest to you to understand completely, who you are. The person who is best positioned to understand you is yourself and you are the sole one who can do this. You can be your own most sympathetic ally because you are the one who has the ability to understand your feelings and intentions best.

It Will Eventually Impact Your Relationship with Others

When you live alone, having a good relationship with yourself could make a huge difference in the manner you interact with other people. Understanding your own emotions will help you to empathize with others. Being aware of your own strengths and weaknesses can make it easier to forgive other people for theirs. Nobody is an island and people living alone mostly have strong relationships with the people around them. The way you feel about yourself can decide how kindly you treat other people, whether you are close to that person or not.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-10 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high. 

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service! 

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

Couple Counseling by Shivani Misri Sadhoo

Marriage Counselor Shivani Decodes the Biggest Silent Killers of a Relationship

Most amongst you know the obvious factors such as infidelity, lack of trust that can damage a relationship. Besides those, there are several reasons which can destroy a happy relationship but these hardly ever catch your attention until it is too late.

Counselor Shivani says perhaps it would not be incorrect to call these as silent killers because those are too subtle to get noticed. But you can certainly save yourself and your partner from falling prey to these relationship killers if you are a bit careful. So, look out for those signs to protect your bond with your partner from hitting the rock bottom.

This blog, by top Marriage Counselor and Relationship Expert, Shivani Misri Sadhoo discusses the biggest silent killers of a relationship and how to address them. Here they are.

Harboring Bitterness

When couples are in a long-term relationship or have been married for some time, they face this issue of harboring hidden bitterness. Suppressed or unaddressed resentments can create irreversible damage to a relationship. It is quite important to express anger or frustration because suppressed bitterness will come firing out in the future and can erode a relationship.

Assumptions

When couples brag that they are so compatible that they can even complete each other’s sentences, it could be both good as well as a bad sign. What they really need to ask is, can two individuals be so close that they know everything regarding each other to such a point that they can read minds? Or is it simply an assumption? Sometimes, just assuming about your partner’s likes and dislikes and doing things accordingly can do more damage to a relationship than good. Rather than assuming, it is always better if the partners let each other express their views and desires.

Taken for Granted

This is one of the unacknowledged factors that often leads to cracks in the most stable relationships. It is a common human behavior to take a person for granted when you are with him/her for a long time. So, how do you stop it? One of the methods to hold yourself back from being taken for granted is just by breaking the routine.

Not Talking about Intimacy

There are individuals who shy away from discussing their physical needs with a partner. Feeling sexually unsatisfied in a relationship is very common but a lot of couples never address this issue because of insecurity and fear. But unfulfilled desires may lead to low-self-esteem, infidelity, and resentment. The best solution to this problem is to talk about your desires and let your partner know what you need and what are your needs in terms of physical intimacy.

It is Mostly I than We

Selfishness is another unaddressed issue that has the capability to ruin even the strongest of the relationships. The only manner to get over this habit of thinking merely about your interest is by prioritizing what is best for the relationship with your partner.

Are You Afraid of the Darkness? Know the Symptoms and Treatment of Nyctophobia

While being afraid of the dark might be a part of normal development in some young children, this is not the case for older children and adults. Nyctophobia is basically an age-inappropriate fear of darkness that can force someone to limit their activities, avoid specific circumstances, and experience anxiety in the anticipation of there being lying something dangerous and no light.

Psychologist Shivani says it is when the concern crosses over from being an inborn protective technic to being a clinical issue that it is designated as a phobia.

This blog specifically revolves around Nyctophobia, and India’s top Psychologist and Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo talks about the causes and treatment for the same.

Causes

Nyctophobia, also known as scotophobia, lygophobia, and achluophobia. This may be evolutionary in nature as several predators hunt at night. The fear might not be linked to darkness itself but unknown dangers are hidden in the darkness (this is why horror and suspense movies generally use darkness as a way to scare audiences). A general lack of security and confidence also plays into this as well, particularly if you tend to be afraid of the dark mostly while alone.

Psychoanalytic believes that fear of the dark could be related to the separation anxiety from a primary attachment figure, a phenomenon that has been detailed further.

Symptoms and Diagnosis

Symptoms of nyctophobia differs from individual to individual and according to the severity of a specific case. In general, symptoms of nyctophobia includes:

·         Getting nervous in any darkened surroundings.

·         Being reluctant to go out at night.

·         Experiencing physiological symptoms like increased heart rate, sweating, visible shaking, and also feeling ill (nausea, headaches, and diarrhea) when forced to spend some time in the dark.

·         Need to put on the light at night while sleeping.

Symptoms of during more severe cases of nyctophobia include:

·         Trying to run away from dark areas or rooms.

·         Getting angry or defensive if anyone tries to force or tease you to spend time in the dark.

·         Compulsively staying back indoors at night.

Nyctophobia has certain diagnostic criteria that are common to every phobia, which separates them from simple fears.

Treatment

The aim of therapy is to challenge the fearful beliefs about the dark by replacing the negative self-talk with more positive ones. The rate of successful treatment for certain phobias such as nyctophobia is approximately 90% and mostly accomplished with the help of techniques drawn from the cognitive-behavioral school therapy.

The treatment plan your therapist would recommend for you or your child could include:

·         Exposure to the dark in bits, incremental, non-threatening doses in a method called desensitization.

·         1-on-1 talk therapy, family therapy, or even group therapy.

·         Learning relaxation techniques, like deep breathing, meditation, or yoga.

·         Medications such as anti-anxiety and antidepressant.

If you are struggling due to any sort of phobia or other psychological issues. Do not hide them. Rather, you do not need to panic, you should seek some help from a qualified psychologist.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-10 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high. 

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service! 

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

The Secret of Coworking with Your Spouse Decoded By Marriage Counselor Shivani

While organizations have adopted WFH (work from home) format to restrict the COVID-19 spread, situations at home for most of the working couples have turned very challenging, especially among couples who are having the same working hours.

At present, the internet is flooded with guidance and advice on how to do WFH effectively, like put real clothes on, set up a desk space that is not your bed, and goes about your morning routine as though you’re actually heading to work, etc.

BUT the advice is still missing some of the critical issues that couples actually are facing in day to day life, “how not get into a fight with a partner when your mood has been soured by your boss or by that annoying colleague, who will do work chores during office hours, how to keep your relationship throbbing when both of you are getting each other 24×7? And others, how to manage your child’s online classes with WFH”?

India’s leading relationship expert and marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo in this article decodes the secrets for couples to do co-working happily.

1. Create a daily schedule for everyone

Build a habit to devote 5 minutes every day, to prepare your next day’s schedule. Involve all your family members – ask your spouse the timing for his/her conference calls in every family member’s presence, so everyone can remember to avoid making background noises (avoid TV watching, utensil cleaning, running mixes in the kitchen, vacuum cleaner, etc. during that time). Also, schedule a time for home chores before and after office hours with your partner.

2. Plan your Kid’s studies

A major challenge that working couples are facing during WFH, is handling their kid’s online schooling. Hence try to identify the subjects that your child can do on their own and subjects that need your guidance, schedule the easy subject for the kids to do on their own, during your office hours to reduce your time devotion to teach them at end of the day. Also, try to prepare the child for the next day’s class so they can turn self-reliant for online classes.

3. Television and earphone

If you have in-laws and kids at home, surely television background noise can turn into a headache while working for your office. Perhaps it could be a good idea to buy wireless headphones for the TV, so the rest of the family members can spend their time watching TV without any noise disturbance.

4. Give yourself a buffer time

At the end of your workday, take ten to thirty minutes break to unwind yourself before making yourself available to spend with your partner and family. This “buffer time” can help you to release any stresses from the workday, get relaxed, and then help you to get prepare for the family members. Hence, take a shower, change clothes, take another walk, and 20 minutes’ power nap.

5. Separate your workspaces

Being productive and efficient during WFH hours will help you stay happy and avoid stress to a large extent. Hence make the arrangements so you can work with full concentration and give yourself and your partner the proper space to work at their best. These arrangements could be in form of separate workstations in separate rooms, using the headphone for your conference calls, avoid talking to your partner during office hours, etc.

6. Use this time for Special moments 

Remember once you will be back to the old routine, again a large chunk of your daily life will be eaten by commutation to the office, and back home, your time to devote for your partner will again get limited to weekends. And, in most of those weekends, you would be again questioning yourself to get yourself rest to get rid of the weeklong tiredness or spend some romantic moments with your spouse.

Hence take the advantage of the fact that you and your partner are getting time together that you don’t usually get. Hence eat your breakfasts, lunches, and dinner together, get to bed early and spend quality and intimate moments together.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-10 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high. 

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service! 

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

Fear of Marriage: Gamophobia – Causes, Signs, and Treatment Reveals Psychologist and Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo

In several cultures marriage is considered a sacred bond that binds 2 individuals together. While a lot of people wait their whole life to be together forever with that person they love, the reality may be different for some others. For certain people, however, the boundations of marriage are literally scary as hell. This type of irrational fear of getting married or committed is called gamophobia.

It has been obtained from the Greek word “gamos” meaning marriage. Psychologist Shivani says gamophobia is displayed by intense, irrelevant, and continuous fear of marriage and commitment. The individual is specifically scared to get into a marriage which means spending the whole life with a single person.

A gamophobic individual’s fear of marriage is similar to the fear of dying. A gamophobic person might be in a relationship with someone, but move away and get nervous if the topic of marriage crops up. This phobia is completely different from Anuptaphobia – fear of being single and Philophobia – fear of falling in love.

This blog by India’s top Psychologist and Marriage Counselor, Shivani Misri Sadhoo reveals about Gamophobia and what are its causes signs, and treatment.

What Causes Gamophobia

Gamophobia is quite a common phobia that happens in people, specifically men. Men tend to fear marriage because of the factors such as the personal, financial, and social risks that come along with marriage. Thus, gamophobia can be caused by the following:

Personal Instability

Personal instability or insecurity can be a big cause of gamophobia in people. Marriage doesn’t happen easily. Several responsibilities are added. You don’t share simply a relationship, but you share all your personal, social, financial, and legal belongings. The fear of marriage could be developed out of the fear of all or any of these risks and vulnerabilities.

Connected Distressful Incident

Gamophobia can also be linked with any unwanted and distressful occurrence that implanted a negative impact of marriage on an individual’s mind. These incidents could range from the divorce of parents during childhood, abuse from parents, having seen one’s parents or other married couples fight and argue, a previous marriage failure, betrayal by a partner, or hearing regarding unsuccessful marriages extensively. Any such incidents can be responsible for gamophobia in people.

Depression

The fears of marriage and commitment can also happen due to other depressive conditions. A person might actually be willing to marry, but simply scared and anxious to go through it. Lack of self-belief, poor self- image, lack of sexual confidence, and other forms of depression may also make a person stay away from marriage and commitments.

Signs of Gamophobia

Some of the prominent signs that may happen in the people having gamophobia both in the case of men and women are:

·         Irrational and extensive fear of marriage and commitment. Even a slight thought of marriage or seeing someone getting married can trigger this fear.

·         Totally staying away from marriage and related events or discussions.

·         Aggression, panic attacks and quick-temper upon the slightest thought or discussion of one’s marriage.

·         Feeling that the fear is irrational but not manageable to control.

·         Low-self-esteem.

·         Panicking follows physical symptoms like trembling, crying, trouble in breathing, rapid heartbeat, nausea or vomiting, dizziness, fainting, sweating profusely, and abdominal discomfort.

When to See a Psychologist or a Counselor

Gamophobia can become a serious issue as it can lead one to stay isolated. A gamophobic person is simply scared of the thought of marriage, but not unwilling to do so. The fear can greatly damage relationships and family life of a person. In those circumstances, consulting with a psychologist or counselor is necessary. Moreover, if the above said symptoms have happened for a long time period, over 6 months, and disrupted the life of an individual, one requires to begin with the treatment.

How It Can Be Treated

Gamophobia can be treated using various psychotherapies and medications. Some of the effective psychotherapies for successful elimination of this fear are:

CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy)

CBT is 1 of the most impactful treatment therapies for gamophobia. Gamophobia might be related to a past distressful memory and experience. The behavioral therapist treats the person and tries to dig out the negative thoughts 1 has towards marriage. A gamophobic individual tends to have a rush of fear because of the negative and disturbing images linked with marriage, and not due to marriage straight away. The counselor conducts healthy talking and sharing sessions and helps to replace those negative images with positive ones.

Exposure Therapy

This therapy is also another good psychotherapy used for the treatment of gamophobia. In exposure therapy, the counselor makes the person confront a setting the same as in a marriage or brings up topics to discuss marriage. Alongside this, the psychologist also guides the person to keep himself calm and relaxed in the session. Through regular sessions, the person gets accustomed to it and will be able to form tolerance for anxiety.

Family Therapy

Family therapy is a crucial component during this whole treatment process. The counselor works with the family and makes them aware of the phobic condition. In fact, the counseling sessions with family forms support and motivation for the individual from family sources. This can be a huge lift up for the complete treatment process.

Medication

In extremely serious cases of isolation and anxiety, medications may be used. Normally used medicines are anti-anxiety and anti-depressants. However, therapies are regarded as more effective for the treatment of gamophobia.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-10 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high. 

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service! 

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

Are You Afraid of Flying? Essential Tips that Will Help You Overcome Aerophobia

You are planning to travel, so you booked a flight ticket. You fulfilled all the procedures, and you have double-checked your belongings. Everything looks good except for a thing. It’s that you cannot stand the thought of getting inside a plane.

Your palms begin sweating, your heart palpitating, your breathing goes up, and your mind starts racing with all kinds of dangerous thoughts. For some people, flying can be downright terrifying.

Psychologist Shivani says fear of flying, also called as Aerophobia, impacts nearly 2.5 to 6.5% of the population. When you board a plane, you will see out it’s not only you who is anxious. There are other passengers too that are tightly holding their seats with their eyes wide open.

The good thing is that several tested techniques can help calm your restless mind.

Technology is improving, and flying has become more secure with every passing day. Thus, there’s not much to worry about in the first instance. It’s only a matter of opting for the right approaches and thinking that will make your flying experience a whole lot comfortable.

This blog by India’s top Psychologist and Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo focusses on the tips that will help you overcome aerophobia.

Here are some of them.

Be Aware of Your Fears

Your anxiety can become quite creative while you’re flying. Your mind keeps providing you with thoughts about all the things that may go wrong. An overactive mind can magnify an issue and present it to be larger than it is.

So, it is very essential to be aware of your thoughts so you can understand and manage them when things begin getting out of hand. And this is when mindfulness comes in.

The gist of mindfulness is being aware of your fearful and irrational thoughts, so they do not overcome you. When you are aware of where your mind is going, you have the ability to stop those thoughts before they overpower you.

You can also, attempt to get a mindfulness app to assist you with guided meditations while you wait at the airport or even when you are heading to the airport. It helps lower stress and gets a better understanding of things.

Reach Airport Early

The last thing that you have to worry about is reaching the airport late or missing your flight. If you are late, you will panic and may have additional problems with security. The added stress will make it more complicated to manage your fear of flying, and things could go in a downward spiral.

Reaching the airport earlier will ensure you do not have to panic about anything. While you are at the airport, take a small walk or just chill out for a while. It will reduce anxiety and will make you relaxed.

Prepare Properly at Home

You don’t have to reach the airport and find out that you forgot something or that you have to buy something that you can’t get to the airport.

Also, it is recommended not to drink any alcohol or caffeinated beverages prior to you board a plane. Having them can make you even more stressed. Energy drinks can also quantify adrenaline levels, so they’re also not a wise idea. Also, have light meals before leaving for the airport.

Have everything collected and packed at your home and check twice, so you don’t have to worry regarding anything additional when you reach the airport.

Have Faith in Your Pilots and Technology

You may not know but traveling by airplane is by far the safest mode of travel worldwide. Yes, you read it right. Your chances of meeting an accident while flying are about 1 in 11 Million.

The pilots who are flying the plane are experienced professionals and have a complete education about everything they need to know. Aviation schools are demanding, and the pilots have to prove their mettle through several stress training before they get to be in an actual aircraft with people.

Airplanes are built to survive turbulence even in the most extreme cases. Airplane engines are made with 99.999% reliability, even in the highly unlikely possibility of engine failure, your plane can easily land without any concern.

Trust the cabin crew and engineering. They can manage even the most severe cases, so you are in safe hands.

Get Yourself Distracted

An empty mind will keep fueling your anxiety. It’s always good to distract yourself when you are inside the plane. If your mind is diverted, it will not have time to overthink any unwarranted fears.

So, carry a book with you or download some music on your phone so you can listen to it mid-flight. Crack a conversation with the passenger sitting nearby or try something that keeps your mind off from the fearful thoughts.

Imagine about the Place, You are Traveling To

Just envision all the delicious foods you’ll have or the places you will visit or the people you will meet once you get to your planned destination. Getting excited is another good way to entertain and distract your mind.

When you think about all the good things that are about to come, you will not only feel happier but also less stressed. Also, look at the people sitting beside you. They look confident and enjoying their flight, so why shouldn’t you?

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-10 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high. 

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service! 

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

When is the Correct Time to Walk Away From a Relationship?

It appears that for so many amongst you have become occupied by those almost great loves. The kind of relationships that are difficult to walk away from because it is almost correct; you are almost there, we have almost made it, or even, you are almost in love. So how do you know when is the correct time to walk away from a relationship?

Counselor Shivani says that the truth you struggle with and fight because there is a part of you that wishes you could make it different than it is. Sometimes the years go, and you suddenly find yourself in the situation of how to know if this is time to walk away for good.

See, the Bitter Truth is that Sometimes You End Up Marry Your “Almost”

At times it is your almost that you settle for, you barter happiness in lieu of getting what you want or what you think you need without realizing that sometimes you are meant to give up. Love is not always of the same quantity, and while not getting what you want can end up becoming the greatest blessing, the truth is this lesson often requires to be learned the difficult way. Irrespective of whether you have spent a few months/years dating someone or married over a decade, there are certain telltale signs that suggest this is time to give up and walk away.

The thing with love or at least the form of love that so many of you are looking for is that it would not arrive until you make room for it.

Through this blog, Delhi’s top Marriage Counselor and Relationship Expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo talk about when is the correct time to walk away from a relationship?

Here they are.

You have Gone from Cherishing to Enduring

You have this belief that no one remains in crazy passionate love forever, yet this is just a lie told by those to make themselves feel more comfortable regarding their own choices. The reality is that while the honeymoon stage of a relationship can go away, the honeymoon feelings can long last if the spark between two individuals is based on more than the initial underlying attraction. If you see yourself tolerating quirks, habits or even the choices of your partner rather than adoring them for who they are then this is the first sign that you are falling out of love with your partner, or that you already have.

You Try Yourself Compromising Your Happiness to Keep it Alive

Love needs compromise, there is no doubt about this, but it must not be to the extent that your happiness starts to suffer because of it. If you find yourself cutting away those activities or even people that you earlier enjoyed or that used to make up a part of you to somehow cause the relationship alive then the truth is the relationship is already over.

The sort of a relationship that inspires us to become more ourselves and to grow will never really need you to give up those important parts of who you are to do so. As an adult, you know that you rarely get your way, or least tell yourself that in an attempt to justify why you aren’t happy. In love, you sometimes think that it’s fine to have to change parts of yourself to have that relationship.

You Look at Love and Intimacy as a Chore

While you all have various levels and preferences of getting intimate if physical intimacy with your partner has become as a dutiful and monotonous routine just like emptying the clothes from the washing machine and just as fast then it is time to begin looking at why. Sex is an important indicator for your relationship, and as long as you don’t buy into the false pattern that after some amount of time none of you and your partner care about sex, then it will keep being a vital part of your relationship.

Whether you have been dating for a few months/years or you are some months post-partum sex matters, and not simply because of climax but because of the essence of grounding the relationship in physical intimacy. If you see yourself passing during physical intimacy more often than it perhaps is time to have a look at why you are physically pushing your partner away.

Your Romantic Relationships Reflects Where You Each Are at in Your Own Lives

If you have difficulty believing you are deserving of love, then you will end up pursuing someone whom it looks like you are begging for love from. If you lack self-confidence, then you will attract someone who will make you feel like less than yourself. Likewise, if you are self-secure and committed to learning about yourself, then you will draw someone mutually curious and respectful.

Life is all about growing and expanding so, this is the purpose of your relationships. No one wants a relationship to finish, whether it is because you have been on a few fun dates or because you share a child with someone. Mostly the moment you consider if you should give up and walk away is the moment you already have. You would be doomed in love because of a few failed relationships. But you will be if you do not believe that you deserve better.

You See Yourself Crying More Often Than Smiling

It might appear like an obvious one, but it appears that sometimes when you are in relationships so deep, you become more obsessed with making it happen than actually stepping back and stopping to consider if you even should. No relationship is perfect every time, but there must be more good times than bad.

There must be more times that make you smile than bringing tears, anxiety, arguments, and even apathy. If you see yourself busy on your phone, creating social media updates rather than cuddling watching a movie, or surprise your lover it could be time to stop and begin considering why. Not every relationship has to last, and in truth, the majority of your relationships do not, but they can teach you something, not about love but yourself as well.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-10 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high. 

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service! 

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.