Marriage Counsellor and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

When you have been cheated on by your partner, you surely feel broken, lost and so many other emotions including humiliation. Cheating also transforms us as a person and it generally, is a permanent change. Have you been cheated on? Read this to confirm if these changes were experienced by you too as shared by Delhi’s leading marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo.

Relationship expert Shivani Sadhoo says getting cheated in a relationship could have a profound impact on a person’s emotional, psychological, and behavioral well-being. Here are certain common ways that being cheated on can change a person:

Loss of Trust:

Infidelity shatters the base of trust in a relationship. It can make a person skeptical and suspicious, not just in future relationships but also in their overall interactions with people. They may find it difficult to trust others, including close friends and family members.

Emotional Distress:

Discovering that your spouse has cheated on you can cause intense emotional pain, leading to feelings of betrayal, anger, sadness, and humiliation. This emotional distress may persist for a long time, even after the relationship has ended. It can also trigger anxiety and depression, impacting a person’s mental health.

Self-Esteem and Self-Worth:

Being cheated on can profoundly hit an individual’s self-esteem and self-worth. They may question their attractiveness, worthiness, and their ability to maintain a healthy relationship. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt, which may affect their future relationships and overall self-confidence.

Relationship Problems:

People who have been cheated on mostly find it challenging to form new romantic relationships. They may struggle with intimacy and fear being hurt again. It can be challenging to fully open up and trust a new partner, leading to difficulties in building a deep emotional connection.

Insecurity and Jealousy:

The experience of being cheated on could make a person overly vigilant and possessive in future relationships. They may become excessively jealous, constantly seeking reassurance and validation from their partner. This insecurity can strain relationships and create a cycle of suspicion and doubt.

Fear of Abandonment:

Infidelity may instill a fear of being abandoned in a person. They might worry that they are not enough for their partner, leading to clingy behavior or a constant need for reassurance. This fear can hinder the development of a healthy and balanced relationship.

Problems in Forgiving:

Healing from infidelity mostly involves forgiveness, but it could be a challenging and lengthy process. Some persons might find it difficult to forgive their partner or even themselves. Lingering resentment and bitterness can hinder personal growth and prevent the person from moving forward.

Alterations in Behavior:

Being cheated on can lead to changes in behavior and coping mechanisms. Some individuals may become more guarded, emotionally distant, or reluctant to commit to future relationships. On the other hand, some may become overly vigilant, snooping through their partner’s belongings or invading their privacy due to a fear of being deceived again.

It is essential to note that while being cheated might have significant impacts, not everyone will experience these changes in the same manner. Each person’s response to infidelity is unique, and healing and recovery processes differ from person to person. Seeking support from friends, family, or professional counselors can be beneficial in navigating the aftermath of infidelity and redeveloping trust.

Emotional neglect happens when the emotional needs of an individual are disregarded or are not valued in a relationship. For the one on the receiving end of the neglect, it could be traumatizing and could harm their psyche. Sadly, emotional neglect in marriage is mostly swept under the rug, simply because it is not as visible as physical abuse. Some couples may not even realize that they are suffering from the effects of emotional neglect in their relationship.

Signs of emotional neglect in Marriage

The first thing you require to do is to identify the signs that you are suffering from emotional neglect in your marriage. As each marriage dynamic is distinct, its manifestations in your relationship are also different.

However, there are certain tell-tale signs to look out for:

• You feel alone in your relationship.
• You will rather spend time alone than be with your partner.
• You do not engage in any social activities together.
• You are shut down by your spouse when you talk.
• You repeatedly suppress your feelings
• You do not feel that you can be yourself around your partner
• You are not clear about what your spouse wants from you

How Does Emotional Neglect Damage Relationships?

Shivani Sadhoo says emotional neglect is the bane of several marriages.

It is damaging to a relationship since emotional support is one of the core bases to a successful marriage. When there is emotional support, affection, and intimacy also follow. And without affection and intimacy, both partners will become unhappy. The level of emotional support in each marriage differs according to the different emotional needs of the partners involved. Emotional neglect is contextually relative; the extent of what is defined as neglectful conduct varies on a case-to-case basis.

Delhi’s top marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares some tips to cope with emotional neglect in marriage.

Do not play the victim

It certainly hurts when your spouse is not fulfilling your emotional needs. However, this is no reason to play the victim card. If you do that, it will simply worsen the situation. You end up in a blame game and that does no favour for your relationship. 

The finest way to deal with it is to talk directly to your partner. Let them know how you feel and where you think they are lacking. When talking to your spouse, make certain you do it in a respectful and honest manner. There is no problem in a marriage that open and honest communication cannot fix. This is one of them.

Work through it together

A marriage is a two-way relationship. You cannot fix a problem if there is just one interested party. Both parties should make an equal effort at fixing a problem.

Once you open up to your partner, you require to openly discuss and agree on what steps you require to take to fix the problem. To begin, you can speak up whenever you see any signs of their neglectful conduct. In that manner, they will be able to identify when they are doing something incorrect. Awareness of their behaviour is a good beginning when correcting this issue in your marriage. 

Address the cause

When you face problems in your marriage, the first task to do is to identify the underlying cause for such an issue. You can also use the same procedure in this situation. Before you react to your partner’s behaviour, think about what could be causing it.

• Is this a recent problem or has your partner been in this manner since the beginning of your marriage? 

• Is it potentially triggered by an event or situation? 
• Has there been a sudden alteration in your spouse’s behaviour? 

If the behavioural pattern is triggered by a situation, then your probabilities of fixing it are far better than if it were part of your relationship from the beginning. 

Be proactive

When you are suffering emotional neglect from your spouse, it may be a good time to assess yourself too. Are you neglecting your spouse in other ways? 

Every individual’s requirements are different. Some individuals value emotional support while others value physical intimacy in a marriage. Whatever it is that is the priority of an individual, make it a habit to be aware of it and do your best to fulfil those requirements the best way you can. 

Make time together

Most problems in a marriage can be resolved by making an effort to spend quality time and doing something together. For example, you can travel together or have date nights once a week. 

Marriage can be hard work. While you have this idea of a happily ever after, it cannot be denied that you will experience ups and downs in your marriage. By staying committed to each other, you can overcome these marital issues. 

See a counsellor

A professional counselor is a great choice if you want to resolve conflicts in your marriage like emotional neglect. A counselor can provide an objective and outsider point of view of your problems. 

The counselor could provide some insights into your marital problems that you may not be able to see since you are emotionally and directly involved in the relationship. The counselor can even suggest methods to resolve these problems by assessing the dynamics of your relationship. 

Many couples are hesitant to see a counselor due to the stigma linked with it. However, there is nothing wrong with seeking assistance in order to work through your relationship issues, especially if it means saving your marriage. 

What is Sleep Divorce – Reveals Eminent Marriage Counsellor Shivani Sadhoo That is Fastly Catching up in Couples

When we think of divorce, we often imagine two individuals separating from each other and going their separate ways. But have you ever heard of a sleep divorce? It is a relatively new concept that has been making the rounds lately. To put it simply, sleep divorce is when couples choose to sleep in separate beds or bedrooms or even different homes to improve their sleep quality and overall well-being.

While some couples may initially feel hesitant about the idea of sleeping apart, studies have shown that sleep deprivation can have negative effects on both physical and mental health. Leading marriage counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares insights on what exactly is sleep divorce.

Why do couples ‘sleep divorce’?

Now, you may wonder, “Why on earth would anyone want to sleep alone when they have a loving partner to snuggle up with?” The reasons are many.

Snoring: For some couples, snoring is the culprit. One may sound like a bear in hibernation, while the other lies there with a pillow over their head, counting sheep, and trying to ignore the noise.

Different sleep schedules: Others may have different sleeping schedules due to work, hobbies, or other obligations. One may prefer to stay up late while the other is an early bird. Having different sleep schedules can lead to disturbance in each other’s sleep, leaving them feeling exhausted and grumpy the next day. A sleep divorce can help them maintain their sanity and get the rest they need.

Temperature difference: Some like it hot, some like it cold. She piles on the blankets while he tosses them off. It’s a never-ending battle that can make for some uncomfortable sleeping conditions. Eventually, they might decide that separate beds with their own individual thermostats are the only solution.

How can ‘sleep divorce’ benefit couples?

Sometimes love and intimacy are not enough to keep a couple in bed together at night. Sleeping separately from your partner may seem like a drastic step, but it can have a significant positive impact on your overall well-being.

Quality of sleep matters

When you’re not being jostled awake by a partner’s snoring, blanket stealing, or tossing and turning, your quality of sleep will automatically improve which is essential for good health.

Relationship resilience

Putting your sleep needs first will make both of you happier and healthier. Then, when you do get together for snuggles and cuddles, you’ll be more present and attentive to each other. It will further strengthen your relationship.

More independence: When couples sleep apart, each partner can pursue their own interests and activities without bothering the other. This allows couples to have more freedom and flexibility, creating a healthy balance between togetherness and personal autonomy.

Reduces conflict: When couples sleep separately, they can have their own sleep schedules and routines that don’t have to conflict with one another. This helps reduce stress in the relationship, which can lead to fewer arguments and less overall conflict.

Every couple is different. What works for one person may not work for another. Sleep divorce might be worth considering if your sleep habits cause tension in your relationship. After all, a well-rested couple is a happy couple!

Shares Eminent Marriage Counselor and Relationship Expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo

Opting for an arranged marriage? Taking the decision to marry someone is never easy. And more so when you are opting for an arranged marriage, things are not quite predictable. When you marry a person, you are in love with, you at least know that person albeit to some extent, and even the family in certain cases.

But if you marry an individual ‘arranged’ by your parents or others, you require to give things a little time and requires to discover your partner while already being in a conjugal relationship. There may be surprises (both good, bad, and ugly) in store for you each day and therefore, having pre-set expectations from your spouse might not be a wise idea.

Here are a few things you should not expect from your partner right from the first day in an arranged marriage as explained by India’s leading marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo.

Expecting your partner to give you more importance compared to his or her parents

Your partner has lived with his or her family all throughout the life and expecting them to give you the same priority, love, and attention right from the very first day of marriage is a bit unfair. It will take months to develop the same relationship with your spouse as they have with their family and hence, hoping to be given additional importance than the family is not a right expectation.

Falling in love with in-laws

You will expect your partner to have respect and care for your parents but do must not expect them to fall in love with your family from the moment you get married. Again, you fall in love with people post spending a considerable amount of time with them and when they too reciprocate your love and care. Forming a relationship with in-laws demands efforts from both sides and the complete responsibility does not lie on your partner’s shoulders solely.

Understand you straightaway from day one

When you got to know someone just a few months before your marriage, how can you expect him or her to know fully about your likes, and dislikes and understand your fundamental nature? You can just understand your partner better when you begin living under the same roof and share your moments of happiness and overcome hurdles and struggles together.

So, if you get easily disappointed by your spouse’s behaviour or specific habits, simply remember—Rome wasn’t built in a day. Give the person ample time to understand you better contrary to setting wrong expectations.

The period of courtship

The courtship period is certainly helpful to understand your would-be partner better, particularly, if he or she was chosen by your parents or other family members. But it does not mean you are the person to stay in constant touch with you round the clock.

You ought to understand that he or she may be busy preparing for the marriage or slogging it out at the workplace. Hence, focus on spending quality time with your contrary of messaging or calling them after every few minutes.

Friend circle

Your partner is not mandatorily to be as fond of your friends as you are. It is fine to have different perceptions about each other’s friends. What truly matters most is that you provide your partner with the space to spend time and enjoy with their friends and not judge them regarding their choices.

This write-up is not an effort to criticize arranged marriage concept. We have seen both arranged and love marriages have their unique pros and cons. Eventually, any relationship will only work if both partners are ready to understand each other and be there with them during good and bad times. Besides any good relationship requires love, honesty, compassion, and sacrifices to become successful.

Psychologist Shivani is here to help you with your search

We often judge others based on their looks. But did you know that physical appearance reflects inner happiness? It mirrors our mental state and can be an indicator of our overall well-being. Studies have shown that when we feel good inside, we look radiant and attractive on the outside. This is why it is important to take care of our mental health.

Therapy is a great way to take care of our mental health. It helps us to process our emotions, and to understand and cope with our challenges. A healthy mind leads to a healthy body.

Finding a therapist can be daunting, but it’s worth the effort. India’s eminent marriage counselor and psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo is here to guide us through the process.

1. Know about therapy types:  Different types of therapy address different needs. For example, cognitive-behavioral therapy can help those struggling with anxiety or depression, while family therapy can help those dealing with relationship issues. Find the type of therapy that suits your needs. Consult a counselor or mental health professional for more information about what type of therapy is best for you.

2. Experience counts: A therapist’s experience and expertise can be a huge asset when it comes to helping you navigate through a difficult period in your life. An experienced therapist can help you identify potential issues, give you strategies for coping, adjust your treatment plan as needed, and provide support and guidance during the process. Additionally, an experienced therapist can offer invaluable guidance and support throughout your journey, empowering you to make the best decisions for yourself.

3. Consider logistics and location: Consistency is the key to therapy. It is important to find a therapist geographically close to you so that you can attend regular sessions. You may like to check if the therapist is available for phone or video sessions if needed. This will save you time and money, and help you stick to your therapy plan.

4. Ask for recommendations: A good therapist is someone you can trust, who understands your needs, and who can provide you with the most appropriate treatment for your particular situation. Asking for recommendations from people you trust like your friend or a family member is an excellent way to find a therapist who will be an ideal fit. You can also consider looking for reviews online and asking for references from your healthcare provider to ensure that you select a competent and qualified therapist.

5. Therapeutic alliance with the therapist: Therapeutic alliance is the connection between the therapist and the patient. It is important to find someone you feel comfortable with and connected to. This connection is essential for engaging in productive conversations and understanding each other’s perspectives, allowing for effective treatment and outcomes. Building a strong therapeutic alliance takes time and effort. It is important to be patient, to listen, and be open to the therapist’s feedback and advice. This will lead to a trusting and safe relationship that can facilitate healing and growth.

Now that you have a fair idea of what points to consider while choosing the right therapist, you can begin your search.

Relationship Expert Shivani Shares How and When to Compromise In Your Relationship and When Not To

Compromise–This 10-letter word may have different meanings depending upon the context, but in a relationship, it means peacefully resolving a conflict by meeting each other halfway. One must remember that compromise does not mean giving in; rather, it means understanding each other’s point of view and finding a solution both parties can agree on. It must be a win-win and not a win-lose situation.

Compromise is a very important part of a healthy relationship, but it can be hard to do. Let’s learn why it is so difficult to compromise in a relationship from Delhi’s top marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo.

Ego matters: When two people have strong egos, they become entrenched in their own beliefs and points of view. This makes it hard to come to mutual understandings and compromises, as both parties are unwilling to budge on their stance.

Communication barrier: When couples do not communicate effectively, it can be difficult to reach a compromise. Miscommunication can lead to misinterpretations, frustration, and resentment, making it hard for couples to find common ground.

Fear of change: People tend to fear the unknown, and when faced with the possibility of change, it can be difficult to come to a compromise. This is especially true when the change involves something that is very important to the individual, such as values, beliefs, and lifestyle choices.

Loss of control: Fear of losing control and power can make it difficult to compromise. People can be reluctant to give up their own needs and desires to reach a mutual agreement.

Stubbornness: Stubbornness can prevent two people from finding a middle ground, as both parties may be unwilling to give in and make concessions. This can lead to a stalemate and make it difficult to reach an agreement.

While these are some of the reasons why people find it difficult to compromise, it is also essential to understand—

When to Compromise — And When Not to

Good or bad compromise? It is important to recognize when it is necessary to compromise and when it is important to stand your ground. Compromise should be used to create a win-win situation, where both partners (or family members, whoever is involved) get something out of the agreement. But it is important to know your limits and not compromise on anything that would undermine your values or sense of self-respect.

Don’t compromise your individuality in a relationship. It is essential to know when to let go and when to stick to your guns. Compromise should not be seen as a sign of weakness. You need not sacrifice your values or uniqueness just to please your partner.

Respect your family bond. Compromising doesn’t mean you should ignore your family or disrespect them just because your partner doesn’t like them.

Compromise can be healthy when it strengthens the relationship, but unhealthy when it leads to feeling taken advantage of.

How can you compromise?

Listen and be heard: Compromise is a two-way street. It is important to listen to your partner’s point of view, consider their feelings, and then take turns expressing your own needs and wants.

Empathy: Practising empathy means putting yourself in the other person’s shoes and trying to understand their point of view.

Respect each other’s opinion and values.

Be flexible when making decisions.

Agree to disagree: If two people disagree on something, they can still find a way to move forward without either of them giving up.

Conclusion

Compromise is a way of maintaining harmony and avoiding conflict. It is always about striking the right balance between two opposing views.

Just like human beings need a break from mundane routines, relationships need a break to re-energize and strengthen bonds. Relationships can become strained and lackluster when people take each other for granted or fail to nurture their bonds. Taking a break from relationships is similar to taking a vacation from work; it gives everyone a chance to relax, recharge, and return with a renewed focus and appreciation. Taking a break from your relationship doesn’t mean it’s over. It’s an opportunity to take a step back, re-evaluate, and understand what needs to be changed for the relationship to be successful.

However, relationship breaks should never be indefinite. They need to have a specific timeline and an agreed-upon goal. This will help both parties to focus on their own well-being and have a better understanding of what needs to be done to move forward. This will also ensure that the break is used constructively and not just as an excuse to avoid difficult conversations.

So, let’s find out the benefits of taking a break from your relationship from Shivani Misri Sadhoo, India’s top marriage counselor and psychologist in India.

1. It helps to Reanalyse: 

Taking a break gives each partner time to reflect on their feelings and assess the relationship objectively. It can allow each partner to determine if the relationship is worth saving, or if it is time to move on. It also helps you to gain perspective and see the relationship from a different angle.

2. Distance lends enchantment: 

Distance lends enchantment to the view and allows couples to reflect on the relationship differently. It allows couples to process emotions, re-evaluate their issues, and return with a fresh outlook. For instance, couples who have taken a break from each other often report feeling a renewed sense of appreciation when they come back into contact.

3. It’s Okay to Miss: 

Absence truly makes the heart grow fonder. Missing someone or something can be a sign of appreciation. Acknowledging this distance can deepen relationships, allowing for more meaningful moments when we are together. It can also be a reminder to be grateful for the things we have in our lives.

4. Introspect: 

Relationship breaks give you the opportunity to introspect. Without the distractions of a relationship, you have more time to focus on yourself. You can think deeply about what went wrong in the relationship and what you can do differently in the future. You can also take time to focus on your personal goals and figure out what you truly want from life. It will help you figure out who you want to be in the relationship.

5. Improves Communication: 

Taking time away from your partner can help you relax and clear your mind, enabling you to articulate your thoughts and feelings better when you reconnect.

Explains Top Couples Therapist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

It is often said that marriages are made in heaven. But not all of them last forever. Many marriages do not stand the test of time and end in divorce or separation. Nowadays, Live-in relationships are becoming more common, as they offer people an alternative to marriage. This allows couples to experiment and find out if they are compatible before taking the step of marriage. However, these relationships can be just as fragile and many end up in breakups.

Despite being legally accepted, live-in relationships in India are still frowned upon by many because they go against traditional values and beliefs. Though the freedom such relationships offer is often attractive, they come with their own set of challenges and complications. Let’s find out more about the challenges of live-in relationships in India from Shivani Misri Sadhoo, the top marriage counsellor and relationship expert.

Social Taboo 

Live-in relationships in India are still considered social taboos. This is because traditional Indian culture emphasizes the importance of marriage as a sacred institution. So, staying together before marriage is seen as a kind of disobedience to the established norms. Social stigma has led to many couples living in secret. People treat you like outcasts.

Lack of commitment 

Lack of commitment is a big problem in live-in relationships. People in live-in relationships tend to take each other for granted and do not work towards making it a long-term commitment. This can lead to a lack of trust, communication, and overall stability in the relationship.

Freedom seems to be a double-edged sword in these types of relationships, as it can lead to more misunderstandings and a lack of security. This can result in the dissolution of the relationship, leaving both parties feeling frustrated and hurt.

Finding shelter is a big challenge 

Finding a house for unmarried couples in India is a big challenge. Either it is difficult to locate a landlord who is willing to rent a house to unmarried couples or even if they find one, the couple may face discrimination and judgment from their neighbours. This creates a huge obstacle for unmarried couples looking for a place to call home.

Money trouble 

It is common for people in live-in relationships to struggle with their finances. It can be difficult to combine two different incomes and expenses in a way that is mutually beneficial. This can lead to financial stress, which can in turn put a strain on the relationship.

Conflict pertaining to career choices

 In live-in relationships, career challenges can be tricky. Since there is no legal commitment between the partners, they often have to make compromises when it comes to career decisions.

For example, when one partner receives a job offer in another city/country either through promotion or simply as a better career prospect, he or she must decide whether to accept the offer or not, while considering the impact it would have on their relationship. This can create feelings of resentment and frustration in the relationship.

Family Pressure

Family plays a crucial role in shaping relationships in India. In live-in relationships, family opinion is often considered more important than that of the couple. This often leads to pressure on the couple to conform to the family’s expectations instead of making their own decisions. As a result, many couples opt to continue their relationships in secret or even break up.

Love and commitment should be at the heart of any relationship. Whether it is a marriage or a live-in relationship, both partners need to be willing to put in the effort to make it work.

Are you among those romantics who firmly believe in saving the best for the last and what is to do the final act solely on your marital bed? Or have the raging hormones gotten the better of you and you cannot wait to get into a physical relationship before marriage?

What is more imperative- the ingrained doctrines of society or the natural instincts of your body which are desperate to feel the passion and fulfilment of uniting with your beloved’s mind, body, and soul?

Yes, we do believe that girls or boys staying a virgin is a personal choice. But it is simply fair that you think and decides what you believe to be the finest course for you.

How does a physical relationship before marriage impact you both psychologically and physically and how and what are its ramifications in the context of your future partner? Is a physical relationship before marriage good or bad? Genuinely saying, there are both pros and cons to an intimate physical relationship prior to marriage in India.

And it is always best to get to know the pros and cons prior to you diving head-first into a physical relationship before marriage says marriage counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo. In India, specifically, getting physically intimate before marriage is still looked down upon, compared to the western world. Also, pretty often we hear stories of women who are caught at this crossroads.

While every cell in their body is shouting to give in to the longing for physical intimacy, they still refrain as they feel guilty, confused, and fear that getting physically intimate may change their equation with their beloved. Here, India’s top marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares ways a physical relationship before marriage may affect your relationship.

Getting physically intimate makes the relationship stronger

Physical intimacy boosts emotional bonds. You see different sides to your partners in this very intimate act that you would not otherwise. How gentle or assertive they are, how much they care about their partner’s needs, how receptive they are to what brings them pleasure, and other factors.

In the act of making love, lovers bare everything to each other and share something that sets them apart from the others. Regular sessions of lovemaking help them to get to know each other better. Long chats post a fulfilling session are something that even therapists recommend to boost closeness. You are most vulnerable post sharing a physically intimate experience with your partner and wish to commit yourself to them, mind, body, and soul.

Is getting physically intimate before marriage ensures success?

It is not a given that the first session will be a total success. It takes some time and patience and practice to understand how to provide maximum pleasure to each other. This is usually, something that takes plenty of exploring. Lovemaking before marriage gives you an opportunity to share your adventures and fantasies and see if the two of you are somewhat on the same page.

This could be a smart way to eliminate mismatched sex drives and poor sex lives. Remember, getting physically intimate is incredibly important to plenty of people, and, for most couples, physical compatibility is necessary for a great marriage.

But then, there is also a possibility you may get cheated and your partner may decide not to marry you while making love prior to getting married. So, it may leave a bitter experience that is sometimes very difficult to overcome. Thus, success is unpredictable.

You might be giving everything that you have

One big advantage of having a physical relationship prior to your marriage is that, by nature, getting physically intimate, two people start as an upward curve that flattens into a plateau, and then goes for a downward slide. Unless the couple takes steps to make certain the zing stays alive.

A dead bedroom syndrome is a very real fear and it can falsely lead you to think that the two of you are not physically compatible with each other. Something that happens naturally could seem like a flaw in the relationship.

Because getting intimate has become boring you may move on to the next person and actually miss out on what could have been a great relationship.

If you are considering getting intimate before your marriage remember to discuss this curve with your partner and if possible also save a few tricks that you can experiment with at a later stage during your relationship.

You may get pregnant

This is not a motive to scare you, but even if you have taken all the precautions there are still possibilities that you could get accidentally pregnant. This might force the two of you to make choices whether you are not ready to make them. If you do wish to go ahead with the pregnancy and the marriage you could be quite well sitting with a bump on your marriage day which could be one of your worst fears.

Perhaps in most fearful situations, the man may not be ready for getting married or having a baby. If your family and his, firmly believe in the no-abortion principle you may see your career and life being cut short due to an unwanted and unplanned pregnancy.

You may not proceed further in a relationship

Every relationship does not end up in marriage. This is why getting into love making before marriage could land you in trouble, particularly in a society like ours. “Waiting until marriage” is a cultural phenomenon, if not for the many people in your generation, then the one above yours. Indian society is still in a phase of transition. Another thing to consider is whether your man is in a relationship with you simply because he loves you or because he just lusts for you.

Sometimes many men simply want a relationship is getting physically intimate. Make certain you understand what is going on in your relationship. There is nothing wrong if you wish the same too, but you should have your situation and priorities clear. Are you fine with a love-making act before your marriage, even if it does not end up in a marriage? If your answer is yes, then there is nothing to worry about.

Your partner might be satisfied with merely a relationship and may not wish it to go any further. Or you might feel you two are not physically compatible and take a call to call off the relationship. But this is for some perhaps better than having a sexually frustrating married life.

So is it wrong or right to get physically intimate before your marriage? The answer completely depends on your choices and their consequences. It all depends on what you feel is right for you. If you are fine with being in a physical relationship before your marriage, then you may go for it, keeping in mind how much it impacts your relationship, it’s future of it, and other aspects of your life.

If you are thinking of forming a future with your present beau, then keep these points in your mind before moving forward with your partner. Here is some advice from top marriage counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo couples could go for premarital counselling before marriage on other issues as well.  You can also book a session with couples therapist Shivani today.

Explains Delhi’s Top Marriage Counselor Shivani Sadhoo

Opting to be in a relationship is not the most difficult aspect of wanting to be with someone, it is continuing to stay with them irrespective of the ups and downs. It is to understand their weaknesses and turn them into your strengths. It is the work of being totally transparent with them about your fears and insecurities say, Shivani.

Intimacy

It actually, is the close connection between two people where they share their feelings, emotions, trust, vulnerability, and closeness. However, if one imagines that intimacy requires just remaining in a romantic relationship, that would be false. This can exist between friends, family members, and even strangers in specific situations.

However, when one refers to being in a relationship, people associate intimacy with only getting physically intimate – which is only a physical aspect. While getting intimate physically, surely is an important part of a healthy relationship, it is not everything. There are various ways to increase intimacy and make your relationship healthy and without that, it is probably that the people in the relationship might drift apart opines couples therapist Shivani Sadhoo.

There are 5 kinds of intimacy that might overlap or intersect with each other from time to time. However, the relevance and essence of every single one of them are quite unique. Here is what they are as shared by India’s top marriage counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo in this blog.

Emotional intimacy

Emotional intimacy is actually sharing and communicating one’s innermost fears, vulnerabilities, thoughts, feelings, and experiences with another person. This is done when an individual sharing feels comfortable doing so and feels understood and supported in return. It actually, is the feeling of creating closeness with another person by being vulnerable and sharing your actual self with them.

However, forming emotional intimacy depends on both the listener and the one talking. A person can just confide in another person when they know there will be no judgment and that they are completely supported.

Physical intimacy

As the name goes, physical intimacy is fundamentally the physical closeness with another person. This could be in the form of sexual and non-sexual intimacy both, including hugging, holding hands, kissing, and cuddling. Physical intimacy is extremely vital as it means two people are comfortable sharing their physical space and bodies with each other without any judgment.

It is also quite important as physical touch in a relationship triggers oxytocin, which is the feel-good hormone. These hormones are also known as bonding hormones which assist in forming better attachments. When released, these hormones help create feelings of trust, intimacy, and closeness between partners. It is sometimes referred to as the “cuddle hormone” or “love hormone” as it can promote feelings of warmth and affection.

Intellectual intimacy

Every person is an individual and the idea of sharing one’s own opinions, beliefs, and thoughts with another individual without having to about getting into a conflict is intellectual intimacy. Here one person has to believe that their opinions and ideologies related to life or any other aspect are valued instead of feeling that they are pressured to agree with the other person’s views.

This sort of listening can foster a deep and meaningful bond between two individuals, as it needs active listening, open-mindedness, and a willingness to learn from each other. This is a top way to get closer to a partner without having to be physically intimate. Not only that, it helps two people appreciate each other’s thoughts and ideas while connecting on a level beyond surface-level small talk.

Spiritual intimacy

Similar religious practices do not mandatorily have to do with spiritual intimacy. But it could be a shared connection or understanding of spirituality or religion between two individuals. This can include sharing beliefs, values, and practices that are essential to each person. This will also include supporting the spiritual formation and growth.

This could also include engaging in spiritual practices together like praying or going to a religious place or simply meditating. It could be a great thing in a romantic relationship as it will bring a sense of shared purpose and meaning beyond the everyday aspects of the relationship.

Experiential intimacy

Experiential intimacy is generally, the deep connection developed between two people by sharing the same experiences. This could include engaging in activities or working together, forming memories by going on trips or vacations, or simply bonding by doing challenges together or living successes.

This is not just a great way to be intimate in a romantic relationship but also for non-romantic relationships as it supports strengthening trust, communication, and emotional intimacy between individuals. This not just creates a sense of shared history and bond but also helps to form a deep and meaningful relationship.