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5 TIPS TO AVOID A BREAKDOWN IN RELATIONSHIP

Do you feel that your relationship is nearing an end? Avoiding a breakdown in a relationship asks efforts, particularly dealing with relationship issues such as physical disloyalty, anxiety, health issue, a shortage of quality time spending, or an emotional matter.

Even in the absence of non-occurrence of the above-said issues, still maintaining a healthy relationship asks for years of mutual promise, understanding, and honesty amongst the partners, they need to recommit & reaffirm each other often.

In this article, Delhi’s top marriage counselor and relationship expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo talks about 5 tips to avoid a breakdown in the relationship.

Building Trust

One of the most important tip to avoid a breakdown in the relationship is to start working on building trust mutually since numerous issues in a relationship originates from this factor alone.

Never question your partner if they have never given you a reason to doubt them. And if in past trust has been broken, put efforts in repairing the bond. When you can’t trust your partner, you won’t be able to depend on them emotionally or otherwise, which is not a good sign of a healthy relationship.

Building trust needs time & effort, but you can gradually progress by being honest with your partner. Being modest, being transparent in your actions, and always stand with your word can make your partner trust and admire being in a relationship with you.

Maintaining A Healthy Sex Life

Passion is an integral part of marriage that just cannot be ignored. Being sexually close as a couple is one of the fastest ways you bond with your partner, while it is a private, enjoyable and sexual expression that is shared between you two. With all those pumping adrenaline, dopamine, and oxytocin levels of hormones that gush through your body after getting intimate with your partner bring you and your partner closer.

Sex is also considered to have health benefits, as it helps reduces stress, your sleep is better, it lessens pain and builds a good immune system of you two.

More notably, it promotes a sense of gratification in a relationship. Some findings of the scientific study revealed the fact that in relationship couples showed a significant association between nuptial satisfaction and sexual satisfaction. Having a great sex life helps you and your spouse feel intimate and tolerate minor character flaws of another.

Communication

If you want to take just one tip out of this list to your heart, then consider this one as the most crucial one that: in order to avoid issues in a relationship, you and your partner must invest in learning how to communicate with each other.

Often partners unwilling to listen, talk, or empathizes with each other are on the path of the collapse of a relationship. It is this harmful behavior that conveys to your partner your insignificance of their time and respect. It is misunderstanding which may arise when partners don’t understand where the other is approaching from, or what they tend to convey.

Good communication will help to avoid arguments. It also boosts the bond between you two and helps letting you know each other better. However, you need to be eager to be at risk and have patience and put it ineffective to work.

Tackling The Problems The Right Way

In relationship couples often have arguments. Learn how to resolve your issues the right way tends to help in avoiding a breakdown in a relationship in the future. By following these 3 steps this can be achieved.

Listening: When an issue arises, let your partner voice their views & feelings on the matter. Let them speak up, uninterrupted, and with an open mind think what they are saying.

Communicating: Explaining your perspective in a calmer and respectful manner is needed. Do not yell, fight openly in public, or attacking your partner’s character. Instead, speak to solve the issue at once. Tackle the problem, not your partner.

Resolving: This one is the final step. In relationship issues, meet your partner at a suitable time and discuss how you both can fix the issue. You should mutually be willing to apologize in case they are in the wrong, or reconcile and meet somewhere “in the middle” to resolve it.

Taking Time Out For Each Other

Often Life can be hectic, but it shouldn’t be an excuse to ignore your partner.
Don’t let it become a habit that prevents you from spending as much time together as you would like, due to reasons that maybe work stress and concerns like family problems or health issues.


It can be very dangerous for a relationship which makes a partner feel like they are not worthy of another’s time or when work is chosen over relationships, or when friendships or child-rearing is set as a top priority above your relationship.


Do take quality time out for one another, that is by arranging a regular date night, or by arranging a routine activity together. Routine activity maybe like talking for an hour before bedtime, sitting and eating dinner at the table every night, or having a chat in the morning at the coffee table before you head off to your work.

It is a simple yet vital fact that doesn’t let small or big relationship issues dampen your relationship. Try to communicate, daily appreciate each other and invest in building trust in each other.

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Best Ways To Make Friends According To Science

As we get older and quit meeting people through various extracurricular activities and in school, it may seem harder to make new friends. If you feel that you’re struggling to make bonds with people, you may want to consider some of the best ways to make friends, according to science. There are plenty of studies which prove how people make friends and how others respond to when it comes to forming strong bonds, and knowing these facts can help make finding your new BFF that much simpler.

Whether you like it or not, it can become difficult to belong to friendship for several reasons, as you grow older. People change as life progresses, and forming new friendship can be hard. This could be due to marriage and family life, professional deadlines, moving locations, and many more. To form a friendship, there has to be a willingness and openness to engage and accept each other.

It might sound mind-boggling at first, but in addition to being friendly and genuine, there are a number of things you could do to enhance your chances of making new friends.

In this blog, India’s eminent psychologist and marriage counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo tells us about the best ways to make friends according to science. Here they are.

Find Shared Similarities

The easiest approach to form friendships would be through a common interest – whether it is at the gym, library, or through a religious institution. People tend to be friends with those who have similarities between them, including likes and dislikes, common interests, and even particular personality traits.

Smile

Your body language plays a big role. Smile often and make eye contact, as this can help to break the ice. Research published in the journal Motivation and Emotion showed that smiling is key to forming new friendships, as people are more adapt to positive emotions when they are making new relationships.

Reconnect With Someone

Instead of focusing on turning a stranger into a friend, give effort on turning friendly acquaintances into friends. Reconnecting with people who have been lost long before can lead to strong friendships, even when lots of time has passed without any contact with them.

Ask Someone For An Assistance

It might sound strange, but asking someone for small assistance can make someone like you more. Asking for a favor could indicate intimacy and trust, and it can appear like an expression of esteem.

Attend A Regular Gathering

Use the exposure effect to your optimal benefit: The more often you are exposed to somebody, the more chances you are to like the person. “Without becoming a pilferer, spend more time at a place where you like to hang out anyway. The more you do, the better you are to be repeatedly exposed to people who have something in common with you.

Keep In Constant Contact

Sense of reciprocity i.e. returning phone calls and text from a friend, for instance — is the strongest factor in whether friendships last. When a friend reaches out, look to respond. When a friend needs you, be there. We get busy in life work, and the business of adulting can keep us away from being a good friend.

Share Jokes

Never hold yourself back when it comes to humor. Sharing a laugh with someone makes them more likely to share personal information about themselves. Laughter makes people feel more relaxed about the details they communicate, so do not be afraid to bust out your favorite jokes.

Have Questions

Make an honest effort to get to know someone. It is easier to spot when someone is going through the motions of listening and just waiting for their chance to speak. As per psychology people who ask lots of questions when getting to know someone are rated as more likable than those who ask lesser questions.

Have A Dog

Getting a pet can do much more than just keep you company at home. It can help you make new friends. People with dogs are more approachable and meet more people normally according to various studies. If you are not able to own a pet, then consider becoming a dog sitter or dog walker.

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Essential Tips To Let Go Off a Failed Relationship – By Marriage Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo

If you have been blindsided or confused by a breakup, you’re probably thinking about what exactly went wrong. You likely have plenty of unanswered questions that are hindering you from moving forward. But rather than staying stuck in one place once your relationship has ended, it is essential to ease yourself out of your rut and start moving further.

In this article, Delhi’s renowned marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares essential tips to let go of a failed relationship.

After all, the only way to gain a sense of freedom following a breakup is to accept the real situation and move in a new direction.

Cut Ties with Your Ex

First and foremost, implement a no-contact rule. For instance, if you were married and have recently filed for divorce, insist on maintaining only minimal contact going forward. And when you do see each other, follow the given rules: Be polite, be concise and be gone. The important part is that you need to begin building a life without your ex-partner in it, no matter how much you would like to tie up loose ends or get your questions about the breakup answered.

It does not matter why you broke up, what matters is that you have broken up. If he wasn’t a person enough to tell you why your partner was breaking up with you, then that’s just a further sign that he or she is not a person you want in your life.

Remember That It Is Over For a Reason

Write down a minimum of 10 reasons why your relationship didn’t work out. Then read it whenever you find yourself craving to rekindle the flame. It’s important to realize that the relationship wasn’t perfect.

Our tendency is to look back blindingly, but we forget to look at the things that simply were not working. Be honest with yourself about what wasn’t working for you in your relationship; it is a process that will help you see the relationship from a more realistic angle.

By looking at the things that did not work, you can begin to come to the conclusion on your own that this wasn’t correct for both of you. It will help you move on.

Remove Your Ex from Your Social Media Networks

Unfriend your ex on Facebook, stop following him/her on Twitter and even consider doing the same with any close friends of his who you have connected with through social media. If you can’t, you’ll have the temptation of wanting to know what’s happening in his life – and you almost cannot help following what’s going on.

It will seem harsh, but if you keep seeing or checking updates from your ex or his friends, it’s a kind of self-torture. Stop making yourself available to these types of experiences immediately.

Start Moving Forward In Your Life

There is a saying that the best revenge is living well and we’re inclined to believe that sentiment. Instead of pining away over something that didn’t work out, it is better using all that time and energy to improve yourself.

This is the time to take a good look at your priorities and find out which direction you want to go. You can start marching towards your brilliant future sooner than you actually think.

Whether you like it or not, your relationship has come to an end. The quicker you get on with the rest of your life, the better off you’ll be. Stop trying to find out what went wrong or what you could have done differently, and instead just accept your situation for what it is so you could heal.

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Ways to Deal With a Workaholic Spouse – Relationship Tips by Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo

Life is really fast these days. And, it is difficult to tell if it’s a compliment or not to be called a workaholic. There, was a time, when working hard was considered as the key to a successful and happy life, and the sole way to achieve the pot of gold. But with time few things have changed. With the advent of smartphones and the internet, the lives have changed considerably.

Now due to this people are hooked to their work even when they are supposed to spend the time with their spouse or loved ones. Such is the scenario that for many people day starts at 7:00 AM in the morning till 7:00 PM in the evening and even after that people keep their smartphones or laptops near bedside to frequently check them even when their partner is sleeping or lying next to them. Being workaholic is not bad. But when it starts to impact your relationship and family then it is a matter of grave concern. So, it is essential to develop balance cooperation between your work and life.

In this article, Delhi’s renowned marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo tell about ways to deal with a workaholic spouse.

Is it a system or a one-off?

Is there an imminent deadline? A financial shortage? A forthcoming presentation?  Sometimes you all have to sacrifice the common thing for the exceptional situations, even when those around us pay a bigger price. Squarely analyzing the frequency of all the pattern can stop harsh words and worse explosions. If it happens consistently and regularly, then address it. If not, try and let it go. Do not make an incident a system if you do not need to.

Analyze Work Pattern

Does your partner attend to more meetings than usual she or he is supposed to? Do they actually have to read every paperwork and make every decision? Sometimes what you are handling with is not a workaholic, it is a total freak. If this is the scenario, pitch your partner on how you wish to help them free up more time for high-level, strategic meaningful work instead of the operational specifics they get sucked into.

Create A Fixed Routine

If it’s your beloved spouse who seems missing in action, then you might gain from a newly negotiated contract for time spent. Maybe the bedroom becomes that gadget-free zone you want, or one of you gets up 20-25 minutes earlier for a cup of morning tea before the great hassle. Agree that 2 nights in a week are sacred and can be called off only in times of an emergency. You can do a similar thing with a business partner. Agree, for instance, that every Monday from 9:30 AM to 10:30 AM is for the both of you to strategize out the week out, or Friday from 4:00 PM to 5:00 PM. to review, recap, and forecast the days ahead.

Have A Plan Then Reassess The Same

Decide as partners what is negotiable, non-negotiable and not as important. Link it to certain events and routines date night? Division of household works? Vacation or meeting planning? You would rather make all the decisions anyway. And then talk about it six months in. What is working and what is not? Is anyone feeling bitter or taken advantage of?

Focus On Yourself

Does not matter how much you accommodate the other, how often and peacefully you state your wishes, or how much you try to adapt, you cannot always change someone. If their conduct is really self-destructive, you just have to expect that they see it, too. Think about what you require for yourself and expand that sense of self-reliance and competency by broadening a skill set, making decisions independently, and pursuing what you are interested in – while always interacting with them, without acrimony, what you are up to.

Concentrate On The Partnership

As long as you access it from that point of view – without grudge – your workaholic partner will be much more open to a logical and business-like conversation, whether they share your office or your bed.

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SIGNS YOUR PARTNER IS NOT INTERESTED IN YOU

Healthy and strong relationships depend on balance, honesty, and communication to work. And it is not always easy. There are bumps and detours we must navigate, but we have to do it together.

When a person starts to distance oneself from their partner, despite how much care and love the other person puts into the relationship, it simply means that they are no longer interested.

Maybe you are thinking.  They will come back, or it’s just a phase they’re going through. You cannot take responsibility for someone else’s conduct, and you cannot put your life on hold while they weigh the options.

In this article, Delhi’s top marriage counselor and relationship expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo talk about signs your partner is not interested in you.

They Prioritize Others But Treat You As An Option

Being in a relationship involves spending time with one another, and it should not feel like you have to force someone to do it. If your partner is constantly too busy or has other things to look after then they are not prioritizing you in their life. They are treating you as an option and this is certainly a bad sign.

They Are Self Centric And Only Seem Interested When They Want Something From You

When a partner who is no more interested will try to be absent for most of the relationship, but you will see them pop up more frequently when they need something from you. Maybe they want a ride to work this week, or they are over-scheduled and need you to cover for them. Whatever it may, you would be able to spot their manipulative ways from a distance. How is that? Well, their fake affection and phony smile will give them away every time.

Communication Breaks Down And They Do Not Try To Resolve It

Most people in a healthy relationship would not enjoy it if they are not able to communicate with their partner. But, those who are not interested in sticking around any longer do not seem to mind as much. If your partners stop calling, texting, asking how your day was spent, or even trying to make a conversation, they are possibly ready to move on.

If They Decide To Talk, It Is Always About Themselves

Nothing really interests a person who is ready to end a relationship, except themselves. They are their main topic of choice because just be honest, it is not like they are spending any second thinking about you.

When Something Goes Wrong, You Are The One Who Is To Be Blamed

Even if everything is fine, you will still, get blamed. It is an abusive tactic used by your partner to control and manipulate you, and if it is happening, just leave.

They Say Derogatory and Hurtful Things Intentionally

If your partner is disinterested in continuing a relationship but they have been too cowardly to admit it, they will begin to disrespect you. Whether you two are alone in the privacy of your house, or with friends in public, they will say things that are aimed to hurt you. Do not let them get to you- their ugliness is their concern, not yours.

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SIGNS YOUR HUSBAND IS A MAMA’S BOY

We all love our parents. It is very good quality. In fact, if we are incapable of loving our parents then we are not supposed to be called human.

Loving one’s mother is a divine characteristic. But treating others in a bad manner is an inhuman quality. If your husband loves his mother, then you do not need to find any fault with it. But during this process, if he insults you or makes things uncomfortable for you to live with him, then it is up to you about how you resolve it.

If you remain silent, a lifetime of suffering could afflict. If you deal with it hurriedly, chances are you could be misunderstood by your husband. So find a better way of resolving the issue.

In this article, Delhi’s top marriage Counselor and Relationship expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo tells about signs your husband is a mama’s boy.

He Cannot Take Any Decision Without Mom’s Help

As an independent woman, you have a mind and thinking of your own. So, you have decision-making abilities but you are surprised to see your husband consulting his mom for every minor or major decision. That bothers you a bit. This is one of the initials signs that your husband is a mama’s boy.

He Never Supports You When His Mother Shouts At You

He thinks his mother is always correct. So, when his mom shouts at you for any reason, he prefers to remain a silent spectator.

He Asks You To Be Like His Mother

This appears funny to you. But he asks you to dress up, cook and behave like his mom, and worship his mom. His mom is a role model to him and he expects an ideal woman has to be like her.

Your Husband Spends More Time Talking To His Mom

When your husband’s mom is out of town for a few days, he spends most of his time talking to her over the phone. And also, sometimes complains to her over the phone that you do not cook like her.

He Seeks Her Permission Even To plan A Family 

That looks absurd but it is true that he seeks his mom’s approval before planning to expand his family.

He Shares All Your Secrets To His Mom

You trust your husband completely and tell him everything about your life and past. And, he discloses them to his mom. She begins to suspect you and starts ill-treating you.

When You Are On A Holiday

When you are on a holiday, you tend to spend some time with your husband in a lonely spot and slowly try to kindle his passion. He suddenly takes out his phone, calls his mom and says “Mama, I miss you! You could have come with us” and weeps for a moment.

P.S. Well, there is nothing wrong if your husband loves his mom. Let him love his mom. But if his love bothers you, then you can voice out your opinion and try to get a solution.

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How to Fall in Love in an Arranged Marriage?

Key Marriage & Relationship Tips by Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo

Ask anyone if love in an arranged marriage is feasible, and the chances are high that you will hear them quip, that ‘love’ and ‘arranged’ are as distant as night and day. The typical wisdom of 21st century leans towards the argument that in order to have love in marriage you need to first fall in love. In spite of the high number of opinions though, it has been observed that arranged marriages have substantial success in India, despite the fact the many live with the perception it as a ‘forced marriage’. In spite of all, Indians still prefer getting hitched the good and old arranged way.

The question arises is if an arranged marriage really works, then how long it takes for the couple to fall in love? To be honest there are no fixed formulas. But there are few conditions and pre conditions that may help you to fall in love with lightning speed.

In this article today Delhi’s top marriage counselor and relationship expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo talks about how to fall in love in an arranged marriage.

You Had Arranged Dating

This is an IDEAL way of making sure that you are in love in an arranged marriage, with your to-be life partner, before you actually tie the knot. Arranged dating is normally the dates you go on during the phase that falls between your engagement and wedding or once your wedding is finalized. Because it is an arranged marriage, you have complete consent of your family members and therefore you can feel comfortable yet secure when on such dates. In case you are someone who is planning to tie the knot soon, you can request for an ‘engagement-wedding’ combo so that you get some time in between to know your partner well and maybe discuss post-marriage issues as well.

You Express Your Heart Out To Your Life Partner

You have no reluctance about sharing your shady past because you feel your partner has all the right to know it. At the same time, you are not about your other half for their back story, rather you allow things to go with the flow. This is a hallmark of a successful marriage, which is made of two individuals that trust (more about it later) and love each other. Be transparent, speak your heart out, share your thoughts, and you will realize you have developed enough love to make everyone around to believe you had a mushy love marriage.

You Share the Same Passion

This must be the ticket to love in an arranged marriage, and followed up matrimonial bliss since both of you are on the same page. If she is into bird watching and you remotely endorse it, then this is the time you cultivate that hobby as well so that you can hit a common note with her. Sharing and having the same passion is certainly going to bring you closer, eventually making you fall for each other? But it is not necessary always that you need to be compatible in terms of likes and dislikes.

Dedicate Time for Each Other’s Hobbies

Instead of putting up an act of how much you loathe some of your partner’s hobbies, take out time and effort in adopting them yourself. If he enjoys playing games on PlayStation, sit with him and ask him to tell you about the game controllers and teach you. You will just establish your place in his heart forever, girl! Even a slight display of approval to your partner’s hobbies is the best way to fall in love in an arranged marriage, while you are still figuring out each other.

You Give Each Other Independence

Definitely, it is great to do bird watching and gaming together, but no one requires a clingy life partner. In fact, the most loving relationships are those where the partners who give some ‘separate and away’ time to each other with respect and honour. Always bear in mind, that you are two individuals who have your very own social circles and obligations. Letting your partner have their ME time is the best way to make your love stronger. Your relationship will then be like the two ends of a rubber band, the farther they are stretched, the stronger they come back towards each other.

Trust and Mutual Respect Is At The Core Of Your Relationship

When you see each other from the corner of the eye just to keep a watch on each other? Now, this is a lack of trust and respect. Trust should be an element constituting the bond between both of you and trust itself must be backed by mutual respect if you want love in an arranged marriage. Arranged marriages are infamous for situations where the husband forcibly avails his ‘husband rights’, while the wife always has ‘who was she?’ question on the tip of her tongue. Make it a habit to never discount or downgrade your respect and trust for each other, which will eventually form the base of your mutual love.

Learn Things and Help Each Other

You provide a helping hand to your partner with zeal and promptness, and you will have your partner more than impressed; absolutely flattered maybe. It will also make your tag of being a truly loving life partner and not just someone is thrown into a sphere of matrimony because it was all arranged. Bring some love to your partner, and you will realize that you just brought a perception shift in the drab image of arranged marriage.

You Invest Good Time to Understand Each Other

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Habits That Can Destroy Your Relationship if You Allow Them

– Important Relationship Advise Shared by Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo

The love between you and your special one may be flowing smoothly at the moment, but if you want it to continue the same way, it will help to take stock of possible bad habits that could destroy your relationship if you allow them. Even the best of romantic bonds has scope for improvement, so why not analyze your situation for signs of habits that can have tendencies to sabotage your relationship and kick them out before they even get the chance to destroy a good thing?

If you spot them early, you can nullify these bad habits and avoid unintentionally screwing up your relationship. Honestly, there is no better incentive than to do a check-in with your partner to ensure your romance is as healthy as possible.

Delhi’s top marriage counselor and relationship expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo talk about habits that can destroy your relationship if you allow them.

Assuming You Know How Your Partner Feels

You notice that suddenly your partner walked in the room looking gloomy, so naturally, that meant they were unreasonably miffed at you for something you probably did not do. Before you know it, you have launched into defensive mode, and instead of helping to remove the bad vibes, you have managed to spread them, making both you and your partner feel bad.

You should be aware that making assumptions can be damaging to our relationships because they never allow partners to share their situation, which makes them feel unheard.

Refusing To Accept Criticism

It can be really hard to take criticism from the one you love the most, particularly when you see all the shortcomings they have yet to work on. And absolutely no one wants to hear about all the those they mess up constantly. But if your partner is trying to give you some constructive feedback about where they see an area for improvement in the relationship, ignoring their suggestion could possibly lead them to have disrespect for you, which can ultimately break down the bond you share.

Not Communicating Openly About Sex

You need to understand that supposedly the amazing thing you do in bed is actually a major turn-off to your partner, but you or your partner is too uncomfortable to address it. Whatever it requires, talking to your partner openly about your sex life is the only option to improve it. Otherwise, you will continue to suffer in silence and the unaddressed matter could strongly destroy what was once a good thing.

Suppressing Your Anger

As a couple, you often think that things are going great between you and your beloved, and you simply do not want to ruin them by bringing up some unpleasant stuff that could lead to a tense argument. You need to know that being angry is not always a bad thing to do. At times if you are angry can help you share your concerns. It can disallow others from walking all over you. It can motivate you to do something positive. The key is managing your anger in the correct way.

Keeping Score

Not only is this tiresome and nit-picky, but it shows that you do not trust your partner to carry their weight in the relationship. If you feel it necessary to monitor everything your partner does (or do not do) in order to make sure you are being treated fairly, you could be the obstacle in your relationship.

Not Fighting Fair

Silent treatments, gaslighting, stonewalling or yelling during an argument will certainly wear down even the best of partners. If you say you love a person, then those feelings should still be evident even when you are not getting along. Using manipulation tactics will only alienate you and guarantee that whatever rift you are experiencing will only grow further.

Frequently Raking Up The Past

If you cannot let go of what occurred in the past, your relationship could be history sooner or later. Being obsessed with prior arguments or lapse your partner made makes it very difficult to move forward. Consider consulting a couple’s therapist to work through your problems in a healthy manner so you can both approach the future with a clear mind.

Not Allowing Your Partner Personal Space

Quelling your partner because you are worried, they will leave you is one simple way to take your relationship from good to bad and then to non-existent. In fact, giving your partner space is more important for a couple’s happiness and contentment than enjoying great sex life.

P.S. If you are in a relationship with someone you truly love and respect, the last thing you want on your conscience is realizing that you allowed a fixable bad habit to destroy your relationship.

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Tips to Deal with Your Teenage Kid – By Counselor & Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

As your kids enter into their teen years, various things will begin to change. To move along and assist your teen to develop in a positive direction, you are required to change your expectations and develop empathy, all the while establishing borderline. Making a safe, supportive, structured, and loving atmosphere are as essential for you as it is for your teenage kids.

Delhi’s top Psychologist and Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares tips to deal with your teenage kids.

Adjusting To Their Independence

Treat them like a teen. Not like a child nor an adult. You need to accept that your teenage kid is not a small child anymore. So, it is essential to adjust your expectations and stop treating them like a child. But teens are not adults as well and are not supposed to be held responsible as an adult. The teenage mind is in the process of a critical stage of development which kids need you to help them through the phase of their lives. They are not developed in their decision-making skills, managing impulsiveness or reasoning. Rather  assuming, they would act and think the way an adult does. Always be ready for possible irrational behaviour.

If you’re not happy because your teenage child keeps making the same mistakes, have some compassion, patience and understand that your teen is still learning a lot and nowhere near being an adult yet. It is a part of being a teenager to learning through failure and mistakes. Frame the unpleasant experiences in their lives as learning opportunities.

Be Flexible With Their Freedom

If your teenage kid is putting an effort and showing their responsibility, practice more freedom. If they are making bad decisions, be more restrictive. Sooner or later, show them that their behaviour gives them freedom or restrictions and their own choices regulate their outcomes. If your teenage kid is asking for permission to do something you are willing to say no to, listen to them out. Tell, “I ‘you are not comfortable with it, and I want you to assure me that you are responsible enough towards what you do.

Similarly, say, “I gave you the freedom and you weren’t ready for it, so we are supposed to scale back now.

Focus On Trust, Not Suspicion

As a parent you need to accept the fact that teenagers can get into a lot of trouble, but do not focus your attention on the bad things alone, they’ve done in the past or the risks they may face. Even if your teen has greatly damaged your trust, it is essential for both of you to restore that trust. If you think your teenage kid may be up to something, ask them to explain it to you fully. Ask questions to seek clarity instead of jumping to conclusions. If you are not certain, tell your teen, “I’m worried, but I am opting to trust you on this.”

Implementing Rules And Consequences

If you are angry, stay calm. Take some time and gather yourself. Have a few deep breaths or walk away and come back when you are calm. This way, you are more capable to give fair and reasonable conversations and consequences. Particularly, if your teenage kid knows how to push your buttons or set you off, it is notably important to keep your cool and not discipline them out of frustration or anger. If you feel angry or upset coming on, tune into your body. Focus where you feel upset, do you have knots in your stomach?, do you tremble? or start sweating? Look for these signs and realize this is time to back off.

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Your Poor Sleep May Be Destroying Your Relationships, warns Marriage Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo

In a properly functioning body, sleep helps the brain to process your emotions and memories at the optimum level. When you wake up well-rested your brain maintains a healthy mental and physical energy all throughout your day.

On the other hand, sleep deprivation restricts brain’s ability to do just the superficial activities like sticking to a daily routine work. All throughout the day, the person may find challenges to gather enough mental energy to think and innovate and at night the brain would get so much exhausted that simple relationship activity like conversations with partner, romantic feelings and sexual drive may turn Zero.

Across the world, scientific research is gradually suggesting that sleep may be the biggest factor in maintaining a good relationship. Quality of sleep of either one or both the partners may affect everything from attraction to break-ups. Today India’s leading relationship and marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares how poor sleep can be affecting your relationship.

1.       Poor sleep habits generally turn a person unattractive 

After all nobody like the company of a mentally exhausted person, even the emotionally tired person himself/herself looks for solace. In a relationship too, mental exhaustion that is generally triggered by poor sleeping habits, reduces attraction between partners.

2.       Poor sleep can fuel conflicts. 

Research suggests that sleep deprivation is one of the primary causes of couple conflicts. Poor sleep leads to poor or irritated mood that causes frequent couple conflict, less understanding of partners’ emotions, and poorer conflict resolution.

3.    Sleep issues may increase marital aggression.

People with poor sleep habits often find it hard to control their impulses. This is one of the most discreet triggers for degradation of relationship quality. Scientific studies have confirmed the links between sleep trouble, self-control, and aggressive behaviors. Hence problematic sleep translates to lower self-control, couples suffer from more aggression in their marriages.

4.       Healthy sleep encourages a healthy sex life. 

Behavioral studies have identified that men and women are less likely to be in the mood for sex if they’re sleep deprived. Good and adequate sleep translated to more sexual desire and more likelihood of engaging in sex with a partner.