Best Marriage Counselling Services in Delhi | Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo

Today a large population of urban Indian parents face stress and anxiety due to the growing communication gap with their teenager children. Parents struggle to motivate their teenagers to study and to listen to their advice. This generation gap is resulting in a lot of misunderstanding and disconnect amongst many Indian family members.

In this article, India’s leading psychologist and Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares a few effective tips for parents to improve their communication with their teenagers and will also help them motivate to study well.

1. Shift from yelling mode to discussion mode

If your communication with your teenager is in scolding mode (you scold them even for the smallest of errors they make) then stop showing your aggression. Remember kids during teenage years are extremely emotional and sensitive hence frequent scolding may emotionally distance them from you and they may stop listening as a sign of protest. Hence put your efforts to become a calm, kind and a parent who can listen.

2. Empathize:

Remember teenage is a transit phase from childhood to adulthood and in this stage, teenager develops ideas, values, and beliefs that are different from those of his/her parents. This is a part of the normal process of moving towards independence. 

Hence instead of opposing or fighting their ideas and views, parents must make efforts to put themselves in their kid’s shoes, try to understand their point of view and feel what is happening in the their life. So if your teen is not putting enough focus and efforts on studies, follow these:-

·      Understand why your teenager does not want to study.

·      Discuss calmly and find out what is stopping him/her from studying.

·      Your teenager could be inclined towards one subject and fearful for not liking the other one.

·      Your child could be finding it difficult to cope or understand what is being taught in the class.

·      Talking to your teen will help you to empathize and identify the source of the problems.

3. Parent’s Expectations

Don’t raise your expectations as parents and more importantly avoid expressing that to your teenagers. Often very high expectations can constrain your teenager and make him/her anxious and pressurized. Instead, emphasize more on a regular pattern and hard work and help your child to aim for small and successive goals one at a time. Working through successive goals will help your teen learn and achieve more in the long run.

4. Get involved

Teens usually get tired after a long day and can be lazy about doing their homework. So just telling your teenager to study will not suffice. Sit with your teen and help him/her figure out how to go about it. Sort out tasks that he/she might be finding difficult. You can look for a good tutor who can assist your teenager with studies.

Being emotional is a part of human nature. But the problem arises when getting emotional becomes a regular pattern, as it leads one to become emotionally fragile which is certainly not a good thing to happen. However, there might come a time in your life when your emotions have been depleted, and you need to search for ways to recharge yourself so that you continue to lead a good life. When you become emotionally exhausted, it is difficult to get anything done.

Delhi’s eminent marriage counselor and psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo tell us ways to get emotionally stronger. Here are some points.

Identify Where You Are

All of us have transition phases in our lives, and when you are in the middle of one of them, it can be difficult to see what really is going on. You may feel disconnected from your work, or perhaps you are mentally drained, which is an uncomfortable emotional experience. So it is very important to identify your own surroundings where you are.

Take A Break

It’s possible you just need a wait for a few days (or a few months) to allow things to settle down or discover an answer to your related to your concerns. People who do not take break tend to burn out, so save yourself from that agony and frustration by taking a rest when you need to, even if you don’t really think that you need it. It will help you to analyze the situation better and will lead to being emotionally stronger as compared to your previous situation.

Compose Yourself

Whatsoever, self-calming methods you have learned or applied in the past, now is the time to dust them off and start your method again. Developing emotional strength requires daily practice, just like developing physical strength. Whether you meditate daily, listen to music, or simply have a quiet cup of tea in your garden, it will not only recharge you but will also contribute towards becoming emotionally stronger.

Socialize With People Who Loves You

This could be actually difficult if you are in a wounded position and do not want your loved ones to notice you this way, but it is a great healer. You can try to say, “I am slightly down on energy today and looking for a break. How would you feel about just socializing out?” This will allow them to know where you are without providing details, and you can have a day of unwinding yourself.

Try Something Different

Many a times you might have observed that doing new things increases your association with life and those close to you. If you have never tried new things like hiking or trekking now, it could be a good time to do it and connect with nature. Just by reviewing the to-do list will help you identify what adventure you want to take.

Get Counselling

There will be times when you will not be feeling yourself or may not able to find a way. This may require an outside perspective to give you another perspective that you need to take action or to stop doing something that is not benefiting you. So seeking counseling can be beneficial. It could be hard to feel that even though you may love something, it might not be good for you at a particular moment in life. So letting go things might help you in becoming emotionally stronger.

Life of the married couples can turn up extremely hectic in cities, especially if they have school going children. Commonly today’s new academic curriculum, in most cases, puts extreme financial as well as personal pressure on couples. After a tiring day at the office and stressful driving back to home, they are expected to help kids finish their long list of homework, school projects, exam preparation and so on. 

These things consume so much time of the couples that they usually forget that they have a life of their own as a couple that needs attention, rest, nourishment and refreshment.

Unfortunately, such a life situation make a marriage and romance extremely vulnerable. Talking on this topic Delhi’s renowned couple therapist and, marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo reveals some easy yet fun things couples can do together to rejuvenate their relationship.

1. Arrange for a Date Night Together

Couples who are parents always appreciate a spontaneous date night. But in the free time between those spontaneous breaks away from your routine, arrange for a complete date night together. Date nights do not necessarily have to be expensive to be fun either. Plan for a less expensive date night that allows you both out of the house without having to think about your family budget.

2. Try a Getaway Together

Pack your bags and suitcase and get away for the night or a weekend. A romantic getaway refreshes you both and gives you some quality time outside of your daily family life. If your budget is limited, try for a one-night excursion and opt for a good local hotel. Or if you are thinking for a getaway on a weekend, then you can easily plan for nearby locales from your city or town.

3. Renew Your Wows

Looking for something to do together it’s a little bit elaborate? Renew your vows in front of family and friends or have a private ceremony in your living room. By renewing you give yourselves a great reminder of the bond you two share with each other and it is also a fun way to include your kids into your vow renewal ceremony.

4. Take Up New Hobbies Together

Find for some common ground and look for hobbies you would enjoy as a couple. There could be a simple connection between your hobbies, such as going to a nature park. He will look to spy through binoculars and you can take pictures of the birds or animals you find.

5. Look to Cook Together

People say that the couple that cooks together stays together. Well, take out the measuring cups and recipe book to spice things up in the kitchen. At least one night a month, you and your spouse must wait to eat dinner until the kids go to sleep. Then cook your meal together and enjoy a gentle quiet dinner for just the two of you. If you can get out of the house take a cooking class together to know some new recipes and cooking methods.
 
6. Celebrate Together

Every day should be of a celebration of your marriage and family. Celebrate those moments. Mark your calendar to celebrate your first meeting, the date of your engagement and, of course, your wedding. But also be sure to celebrate other moments of life. If your spouse gets a promotion, cook a special dish to celebrate or give him or her a gift. We often ignore these regular life moments and keep them under the rug but celebrating them as they happen is another way to celebrate you, your spouse and the life you have together as a couple.

In today’s fast and frantic world maintaining relationships particularly the marital relationship is becoming tricky for few individuals. The honeymoon period in any committed relationship is not meant to last forever. Eventually, it becomes certain that sharing and living a life with another person requires an appropriate set of skills. Many couples start to come apart after the few years of the wedding because some of you are not bothering about how to maintain and strengthen your emotional bonds.

In this article marriage counselor and relationship expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo sharing Top 5 Ways To Improve Your Marriage. Here they are.

1.      Soften Your Stance

Arguments are one of the major reasons for discord in marital life. Arguments often flare up because one partner escalates the dispute by making a critical or arrogant remark. Discussing up problems politely and without blaming each other works much better and allows couples to peacefully engage in any conflict.

2.      Focus On The Positive Things

In a happy and content marriage, while talking about problems, couples should at least make 5 times as many positive statements to and about each other and their relationship as compared to the negative ones. For instance, a happy couple will say We enjoy a lot instead of “We never have any fun.  A good marriage must have an abundant climate of positivity. Make daily deposits to your emotional bank accounts.

3.      Learn To Fix And Exit The Arguments

Happy couples know how to exit an argument, or how to fix the situation before an argument gets completely out of order. Examples of fix attempts: usage of humor, offering a gentle remark (I understand that this is not easy for you), making it clear you are on a common page (We will handle this ordeal together), backing down (in marriage, just like any sport, you often have to yield to win) and, mainly offering signs of appreciation for your partner and their feelings along the way. If an argument gets too heated, take a 15 minutes’ break, and try to approach the topic again when you both become calm and composed.

4.      Refine Yourself

The happiest and successful couples are kind to each other. They refrain from saying every critical thought when discussing delicate issues, and they will search for ways to express their needs and concerns respectfully without blaming or criticizing their partner.

5.      Adopt High Standards

Happy couples adopt high standards for each other. The happiest and successful couples are those who, even as newlyweds, denies to accept hurtful behavior from each another. Low levels of tolerance for improper behavior in the initial phase of a relationship equals a happier couple down the time.

About Shivani Misri Sadhoo is an expert on Marriage and relationship issues and gets frequently been featured in leading newspapers, magazines and TV channels. Counsellor Shivani is experienced and certified counselling psychologists with specialization in the area of Personal Crisis interventions like coping-up with Relationship Issues, Marital Counselling, Separation & Divorce, Child and Adolescent issues, Depression, Stress, Domestic and Sexual Abuse, Loss & Grief, Suicidal feelings. Counsellor Shivani is currently working withIndia ‘s top hospital groups like Fortis Hospital, IBS (Indian Brain & Spine) Hospital and with Express Clinics.

In life “feeling bad about yourself” generally comes very easily and in most time, it comes silently. When someone hurts you or criticize you or if you fail then feeling bad about self is a common outcome. To some extent feeling bad about ourselves is good if it help us to bring self-analysis and re-strategy and re-plan – but if this feeling sustains for long then it can severely damage our self-esteem and confidence level or worst it may put us in a vicious cycle of bad feelings, weak self-confidence and poor results.

In this article renowned psychologist, marriage counselor and relationship expert  Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares 5 ways to feel better about yourself. Here they are:

1.      Always trust yourself

Never ever stop believing yourself, remember every outcome in life has many things involved in it, like time, situation, resources, you and others. Hence if you fail, try to shift your emotions and mental energy to analyze the whole situation – not just yourself but other too and try to figure out what could be an alternate approach or strategy to succeed.

2.      Understand that disappointments are a part of life

Observe and study successful people’s life and you will find that every successful person has dealt with disappointments at some point of life, but that has never stopped them. Rather they have learned to use the bad situations to get to the next level of life. The trick is to process your feelings, then put them into action.

3.      Learn to forgive yourself

Remember that our mistakes do not define us. They do not make us good people or bad people. If we learn and grow from them, then they make us better people. To develop positive self-views, you must keep in mind that everyone makes mistakes. Forgive yourself, and give yourself credit for trying not to make the same mistakes again.

4.      Watch Your Thoughts

Your thinking and thought process will never be 100 percent positive all the time. You must learn to dismiss the negative thoughts and stay open to other ideas that will assist you to move in a positive way. Start identifying negative thoughts and use your mind to challenge them.

5.      Don’t Expect Too Much

Desires can be a powerful motivating tool, but wanting or expecting something too much can be very hurtful and very pressurizing, so do not live beyond your means or wish the unattainable. Seek your desire, but keep your integrity.

Are you finding it difficult to get along with your mother-in-law?

Do you wish you could have lesser stress over your relationship with her?

Whenever we think about a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship, unfortunately, most of the time a negative image comes to our mind.

In-laws can be the cause of a great deal of stress and frustration especially, to a young mother if she is not equipped to balance the demands of child-caring, house-cleaning, working and nurturing the relationships of her loved ones.

Mothers-in-law may be difficult to manage as some may benchmark you against their high standards, pick on everything you do (especially if you are living with them) and interfere when you try to discipline your kids.

But there are some ways to help resolve disputes with your mother-in-law.

Renowned, psychologist, marriage counselor and relationship expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares 5 ways to have a better mother-in-law and daughter in law relationship. Here, they are:

1. Pick Your Battles

Not everything is worth arguing over. If your mother-in-law prefers you to follow a certain criterion when you keep your stuff.  Particularly, if you live in her place, give yourself space and time to accommodate her preferences.

When it comes to arguments over issues which are really important like the choice of school for your kid, you can at least remind her in a polite manner that you listened to her for a lot of  other things and followed them. Can she let you have your own way for this one thing?

2. Try to Woo Her At Regular Intervals

You might be thinking. Is it really possible? Nevertheless, give it a second thought. Every woman likes to be loved and appreciated, not just from their husbands and sons but even their daughters-in-law. Keep aside your pride and ego, and ask her out for her favorite activity or thing once in a while.

Set aside time and a reasonable budget (you don’t need to go overboard) to take her to eat her favorite cuisine, shop for clothes, travel on an affordable holiday or treat her to a movie or a concert of her choice.

Give a beautiful bouquet of flowers once in a while and let her show it in front of her friends.

Even a small act of love, like buying her lunch or dinner when she is sick, will help to open her heart towards you.

3.  Never Try To Out-Argue Her. Especially In Front of Others

As Indians, we value respect towards our elders a lot. More so as a daughter-in-law. Even if your mother-in-law is wrong, unless this is a life-threatening event, let her have the last say and absorb your words. When she is cooled down and you too, try interacting with her nicely, and ask her to consider your point of view too.

Yes, it means you have to eat humble pie, but if you value your relationship with her, somebody needs to take a step back first. After some time, when she feels you are not a threatening daughter-in-law, she may change her stance on how she responds to you.

4.  Find Allies

If you can make an ally with anyone else to intervene on your behalf, for example, your husband, children or siblings-in-law, do it in advance. Build goodwill with them so they can vouch you’re not a bad daughter-in-law when you get into a dispute with your mother-in-law.

5.   Discuss Your Concerns

There are many external factors that throw a spanner into your relationship with your mother-in-law. These could include stresses in getting a job, managing demands of work and family, health issues of yourself or family members, or major changes diet, going back to your studies etc.

If you do face external concerns, share them with your mother-in-law. Try to let her understand what’s going on in your life and how you’re trying your best to figure these things out. She may just give you that little bit of extra space you need at the moment and at best can also, provide you with a good idea.

Anybody who has been a victim of workplace bullying knows the pain that this type of harassment and humiliation causes. Well, once the bully has been dealt with, don’t expect to feel fine afterward. While you may feel a sense of relief, that you are no longer experiencing the daily stress of working with a bully, you also may have some residual impact from what you experienced. In fact, workplace bullying often has a lasting impact on your overall mental and physical health.

As a result, there will be days when the path to recovery may be challenging. Something somebody says may trigger those familiar feelings of anxiety. Or, you may worry every time you disagree with somebody. These feelings are all normal. But with minor work and an extra effort in taking care of yourself, you will get your life back. What’s more, you can take what happened to you in the workplace and learn from it. Use it to strengthen you as you move forward with your life and your career.

The key is to not grant what happened to you define who you are as a person. Identify that workplace bullies have a choice. You did not deserve to be bullied. Place the responsibility for the bullying on the shoulders of the bully and move forward. Leave the hurtful words and the actions in the past.

Eminent psychologist and corporate consellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares 5 ways to heal from workplace bullying. Here they are.

1.  Make Your Health A Priority

Victims of workplace bullying deal with a bulk of health issues including sleeplessness, stomach issues, headaches, and stress conditions. They also may deal with post-traumatic stress disorder, panic attacks, eating disorders, depression, and thoughts of suicide. Talk to your doctor about any symptoms you are feeling. It’s also a good idea to find a counselor. Remember, being targeted by a workplace bully does more than affect your mood or self-esteem. It also can affect your physical health. Do not defer in taking care of yourself. Neglecting your symptoms can lead to a host of other health issues. Staying healthy should be your top priority.

2.  Find Emotional Support and Validation

When bullying happens, the victim is often accused of having a problem or being the problem. Continuous criticism, rumors, lies, and gossip can take its toll leaving you feeling lonely, isolated and hopeless. But remember you are not alone. In fact, workplace bullying is a widespread issue that affects workers daily. Consider finding a support group in your area or starting one of your own. Find validation for what you have experienced and identify that there is nothing wrong with you. It will take work to build up your self-esteem and overall confidence again, but it can be done.

3.  Change How You Look At the Experience

Many times, a person who has been bullied develop a very narrow view of life because the bullying they experienced consumes their every thought. Think about things other than what you have gone through, things that have meaning or purpose in your life. There are several benefits to positive thinking. If you are having trouble doing this on your own, a counselor can help you redirect your thought processes. What’s more, avoid feeling guilty about how you confronted the bully or the length of time it took you to take an action. These things are in the past. Leave them there.

4. Educate Yourself about Workplace Bullying

If you are puzzled by what has happened to you, read everything you can about workplace bullying. While it can be frustrating to read about the issue, in the long run, it will help you come to terms with what happened to you. What’s more, being educated about bullying will prepare you for future confrontations. Some victims of workplace bullying even become advocates or support group leaders for others suffering at the hands of a workplace bully.

 5. Find Closure and A New Beginning

Part of the healing process is being able to put the past behind you and detach from the trauma and humiliation you experienced. Sometimes finding this closure involves switching jobs or careers. But you also need to realize that your identity is tied to more than just your work. Rediscover who you are. Develop new interests, new hobbies, new goals, and new dreams. Do not allow yourself to be preoccupied with what happened to you. Instead, find a better way to shift your focus and put the past behind you.