Couple Counseling for Divorce or Breakup

By Psychologist and Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo

Heading Towards Breakup or Divorce Couples Counseling at Saarthi Counselling Services Can Help

The constant feeling of emotional or physical tension is considered as stress. It can happen due to any event or thought that makes you feel frustrated, angry, and nervous. Stress our body's reaction to a barrier, challenge or demand. In short bursts, stress could be positive, like when it helps you avoid a lurking danger or meet any deadline.

Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo says at times, however, there are deeper mixed feelings. On those occasions, an equally vital and practical use of therapy involves searching for the question, should we stay together or break-up? This specific form of therapy is called discernment counseling.

Discernment Counseling or Therapy

Counselor Shivani says Discernment is defined as the ability to see and understand people, things, or circumstances clearly and intelligently. Discernment counseling thus focuses on obtaining greater clarity and objectivity the state of the relationship and how to move ahead.

In certain cases, it means figuring out the best possible way to end the relationship in a manner that respects both individuals and minimizes as much pain as possible.

The essence of seeking therapy at this juncture is important because couples initially approach counseling due to frustration, feeling stuck, or trapped in an unhelpful or destructive manner of communicating. It could even be damaging

Minimizing the Pain of Breaking Up or Divorce

Certainly, if the decision to call off things is explosive or bitter, it could result in longer-term implications. Sometimes individuals experience depression or anxiety. Others could even develop compulsive behaviors to medicate the pain.

If the separation is as amicable as possible, the chances of emotional fallout are far less. People can mourn and move ahead in a healthier, less stressful manner.

Should You Break Up?

At Saarthi Counseling Services the divorce or breakup counseling provides a safe haven to discern together what to do next, and ask questions from a more objective position. Here are a few common self-reflection questions:

  • Is it mostly meeting my needs or not?
  • Am I becoming too resentful to come back?
  • Are we good together?
  • Are we too distinct that the distance cannot be bridged?
  • Are we too close, or have we lost ourselves completely in the relationship?
  • Can we still have intimacy between us?
  • Is this healthy for me? Or, is it healthy for my kids?

The critical word is objective. As emotions become intensified, objectivity lends a necessary counterbalance. And it becomes even more helpful to look at things from a practical perspective.

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Discernment Counseling Elements

  • Trusting the counselor to be objective and let space for each of you to talk.
  • Identifying your feelings and with the counselor’s help learning how to communicate them properly.
  • Actively listening to each other.
  • Taking a step back to check at what you are contributing towards the relationship in both positive and negative manner.
  • Willing to get direct feedback from the therapist.
  • Being as honest with yourself and the other one as you possibly could

All of them needs courage, determination, and focus. If positive change is supposed to happen, however, breaking free of old methods needs to be part of the dynamic.


Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo says the decision to finish a relationship can be heart-wrenching and hard. This is specifically true if there are kids involved or when a couple shares the same set of friends or acquaintances.

If you are contemplating breaking up (separating or divorce) Counselor Shivani will encourage you to consider discernment counseling. One manner of assessing the general health of your relationship is to complete your relationship report card.

Riding the hard-emotional roller coaster of pain and anger does not have to be damaging. In figuring out the answer to the question, should you break-up, couples counseling for divorce can help soften hard landings?

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