Marriage Counsellor and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

No relationship is flawless. Even in the most loving partnerships, there will be moments when your partner hurts you—sometimes unintentionally, other times, it may feel more deliberate. Disagreements are inevitable, whether they’re about money, parenting, or personality clashes. What often turns minor conflicts into significant issues is when boundaries are crossed or ignored.

So, what do we do when conflict arises? Do we keep fighting, seek revenge, or find a way to forgive? Forgiveness doesn’t mean accepting wrongdoing. Instead, it allows you to let go of the pain, anger, and resentment, choosing healing over hurting. By forgiving, you help your relationship grow stronger.

What are the ways to forgive in relationships?

Leading marriage counselor in Delhi and Gurgaon Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares six steps to forgiveness in relationships.

Honest Communication

The first step toward forgiveness is having a heart-to-heart talk with your partner. Open and honest communication is essential for understanding what went wrong. Trust may feel shattered, like being caught in a storm, but discussing the situation helps you move forward. If your partner lied, ask why they hid the truth. If they became emotionally distant, explore why they felt unable to express their needs. Honest dialogue is the foundation for rebuilding trust and moving ahead together.

Look Within

Forgiveness is more about your healing than the other person’s actions. It involves releasing anger, pain, and resentment, but this shouldn’t be rushed. Take the time to process and heal before letting go of those emotions. Focus on what you can control—your own thoughts and actions. This may involve accepting your role in the conflict or recognizing that you need to shift your perspective. By looking within, you empower yourself to heal, regardless of what the other person does.

Embrace Empathy

Practicing empathy can help you better understand the other person’s perspective. Try to see the situation through their eyes. Ask yourself what might have influenced their actions—stress, personal struggles, or feeling overwhelmed. Considering their challenges may help you approach the issue with more understanding and patience. Empathy doesn’t excuse bad behavior, but it does allow you to approach the situation with compassion, making forgiveness easier.

Conquer Your Fear

Holding onto anger and resentment might feel like it gives you power or protects you from future hurt, but in reality, it does the opposite. Resentment creates distance in relationships and blocks healing. It builds walls rather than offering protection and can make future conversations harder. Letting go of anger doesn’t mean losing your strength; it means finding peace and moving forward with clarity. Freeing yourself from negative emotions will allow you to create space for healthier communication and happiness in the relationship.

Let It Go

Forgiveness requires releasing your pain. While this may be difficult, it’s essential for your emotional well-being. Identify why it’s hard to forgive, then be willing to let go. As you work through your emotions, release any resentment, anger, or hurt. Though forgiving someone who has deeply hurt you can be challenging, doing so frees you from emotional burdens and restores your peace of mind. Forgiveness allows you to move forward, enabling personal and relationship growth.

Show Accountability

Mistakes happen, and there is no shame in making them. It’s essential to forgive yourself and your partner to move beyond challenges. Mistakes are opportunities for growth, and forgiveness fosters trust and accountability. It reduces resentment and ends the blame game. Taking responsibility for your actions—whether you were hurt or caused hurt—builds trust over time. If you’ve wronged your partner, own up to it and apologize sincerely. A genuine apology acknowledges the pain caused and shows a commitment to change. While an apology doesn’t erase the hurt, it demonstrates your desire to improve and make things right.

Forgiveness is a journey, not a destination. By embracing honest communication, self-reflection, empathy, and accountability, you can release pain and resentment. This process strengthens relationships, allowing love and trust to flourish again. With patience and mutual effort, forgiveness paves the way for a brighter future together.

Money plays a pivotal role in relationships, and significant income disparity can sometimes lead to feelings of resentment. While financial differences are common, the key to avoiding resentment is fostering understanding, communication, and mutual respect between partners.

How can you navigate this sensitive issue without causing tension in your relationship?

Shivani Misri Sadhoo, one of the top couples therapists in Delhi and Gurgaon explains how to deal with such a scenario in this blog.

Open and Honest Communication

The foundation of any healthy relationship is communication. If one partner earns significantly more, it’s important to have open conversations about finances. Discuss how the income disparity makes both of you feel. Some may experience feelings of inadequacy or frustration, while others may feel overwhelmed by financial responsibility. Talking about these feelings in a non-judgmental way helps both partners understand each other’s perspectives, creating a sense of emotional safety.

Tip: Set aside time for regular money conversations, where both partners can share their thoughts and goals.

Avoid Power Imbalance

One of the main triggers of resentment is when the higher-earning partner holds financial control or power over the other. This can create a dynamic where the lower-earning partner feels dependent, leading to frustration. To avoid this, both partners should feel like they have an equal say in financial decisions, even if the contributions are unequal.

Tip: Create a shared budget where both partners contribute proportionally based on their income. This ensures fairness while maintaining financial equity in the relationship.

Respect Each Other’s Contributions

Money isn’t the only contribution that matters in a relationship. The partner who earns less may still be contributing in significant ways, such as taking care of the household, managing family responsibilities, or providing emotional support. It’s important to value these non-financial contributions and acknowledge them as equally important to the partnership.

Tip: Express appreciation for the unique strengths and efforts each person brings to the relationship, regardless of income.

Set Mutual Financial Goals

Working towards common financial goals helps both partners feel aligned, regardless of their individual incomes. Whether it’s saving for a vacation, a house, or retirement, setting goals together creates a sense of partnership. Both partners can contribute in ways that feel meaningful to them, fostering a feeling of teamwork.

Tip: Review your financial goals as a couple regularly, making sure both partners are actively involved in the planning and decision-making.

Focus on the Bigger Picture

Income differences should not overshadow the love and commitment you share. Avoid comparing your financial situation to others or using money as a measure of success in your relationship. Instead, focus on what truly matters—emotional connection, mutual respect, and shared values. When you concentrate on the strengths of your relationship, the income disparity becomes less significant.

Tip: Celebrate the milestones you achieve together as a couple, no matter how big or small.

Navigating income disparity in a relationship requires effort from both partners. By focusing on communication, mutual respect, and shared goals, couples can avoid resentment and build a stronger partnership. Remember, it’s not the amount of money that determines the success of a relationship, but the way you manage it together.

Overthinking can sabotage even the healthiest of relationships. It can create doubt, insecurity, and unnecessary stress, driving a wedge between partners. If you often find yourself stuck in a loop of “what-ifs” and second-guessing, it’s time to take a step back and regain control. Here are some practical ways to prevent overthinking in your relationship and cultivate a healthier, more fulfilling connection.

What are the ways to prevent overthinking in your relationship and how to overcome it?

Leading marriage and family therapist in Delhi NCR Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares the ways here in this blog.

Communicate Clearly and Often

Clear communication is one of the most powerful tools to prevent overthinking. When you leave things unsaid or unresolved, it’s easy for your mind to fill the gaps with assumptions or insecurities. Make it a habit to communicate openly with your partner. If something is bothering you, voice it rather than letting it fester. Effective communication strengthens your bond and eliminates the need to overthink every little thing.

Tip: Set aside regular time to talk about how you both feel. It’s essential to keep the conversation respectful and empathetic.

Challenge Negative Thoughts

Overthinking often stems from negative thought patterns, like assuming the worst or doubting your partner’s intentions. Instead of accepting these thoughts as truth, take a moment to challenge them. Ask yourself, “Is this really true, or am I projecting my fears?” Redirect your energy toward understanding the difference between reality and the scenarios your mind creates.

Tip: Writing down your thoughts and then reviewing them later can help you see whether they were rational or not.

Focus on the Present

A significant part of overthinking is either dwelling on past events or worrying about the future. This robs you of the joy of the present. Make a conscious effort to focus on what is happening right now in your relationship rather than dissecting the past or imagining future problems.

Tip: Practice mindfulness by immersing yourself in shared activities like cooking, walking, or simply talking without distractions.

Develop Trust

Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship. Without it, overthinking is almost inevitable. If trust issues are triggering your overthinking, address them head-on. Work with your partner to rebuild trust and ensure both of you feel secure in the relationship. Trust reduces the mental space needed for overanalysis.

Tip: Engage in trust-building exercises, such as sharing your feelings or spending quality time with each other consistently.

Set Healthy Boundaries

Sometimes, overthinking occurs because we’re too intertwined with our partner’s life. It’s essential to have a sense of individuality and autonomy in a relationship. Setting healthy boundaries allows both partners to retain their sense of self, which can ease unnecessary worry and overanalysis. When you both respect each other’s space, there’s less room for doubts or misunderstandings.

Tip: Discuss boundaries early in the relationship, such as time for personal hobbies or time spent with friends and family.

Keep Yourself Busy

Idle time is the enemy of overthinkers. When your mind has too much time to wander, it’s easy to spiral into overthinking. Keep yourself engaged in your personal goals, hobbies, and social life. A well-balanced life outside of the relationship leaves little room for obsessive thinking about your partner’s behavior or the status of your relationship.

Tip: Pick up a new hobby or set personal goals to stay focused on yourself, which also benefits the relationship.

Stop Seeking Constant Reassurance

One of the signs of overthinking in a relationship is the need for constant validation or reassurance. While it’s normal to seek occasional reassurance, doing so excessively can create tension. Learn to build self-assurance and trust that your partner cares about you. Repeatedly asking for validation can lead to unnecessary strain and make you question things even more.

Tip: Instead of seeking reassurance, reflect on why you feel the need for it and address the underlying insecurities.

Embrace Imperfection

No relationship is perfect, and it’s important to accept that fact. Overthinking often comes from the desire for perfection – whether it’s expecting flawless behavior from your partner or idealizing how the relationship should be. Embrace imperfections as part of the journey rather than something to worry about.

Tip: Shift your perspective to see challenges as opportunities for growth instead of problems to overanalyze.

Talk to a Therapist

If overthinking becomes a recurring issue that you can’t control, seeking professional help might be the right step. A therapist can help you identify the root cause of your overthinking and equip you with tools to manage it. Relationship counseling is also a good option for couples who want to strengthen their communication and understanding.

Tip: Consider individual therapy or couples counseling if overthinking is significantly impacting your relationship.

Overthinking can be harmful to any relationship, but it doesn’t have to be. By communicating openly, focusing on the present, and challenging negative thoughts, you can build a stronger connection with your partner. Trust, boundaries, and personal growth are also crucial in preventing overanalysis. Ultimately, learning to embrace imperfection and seek help when needed will create a healthier, more peaceful relationship where overthinking doesn’t stand in the way of love.

We all know that the wounds of betrayal cut deep. The act itself is painful, but it’s the breaking of trust that leaves lasting scars. When someone you love and trust betrays you, it feels like your world is crumbling.

Your sense of security vanishes, and you’re left questioning everything—your partner, your relationship, and even yourself. In these moments of profound hurt, one question often looms large: Can you truly forgive the person who hurt you?

Eminent marriage counselor and relationship counselor, in Delhi and Gurgaon, Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares her thoughts on the topic.

Forgiveness is more than just saying “I forgive you.” It’s a personal decision to let go of anger and the desire to punish someone who has betrayed your trust. Forgiving someone doesn’t mean you approve of their actions or let them off the hook for what they did. It also doesn’t mean you should forget what happened or stop holding them accountable.

Instead, forgiveness is about choosing not to hold onto grudges or resentment. This process can be important for your own well-being and can help rebuild trust in the relationship. While you may still worry about the possibility of being hurt again, forgiveness can pave the way for better communication, understanding, and stability in the relationship.

What are the Ways to Try Forgiving Your Partner?

Relationship expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo, says some of the ways to forgive your partner are:

Face the Fact

Perhaps the first and foremost step in forgiving your partner is to face the truth head-on. Acknowledge that betrayal has occurred. There is no point in denying the fact. Embrace the reality of the situation without falling into denial.

Accepting the betrayal allows you to start processing the emotions and understanding what went wrong. This step is essential for moving forward; it paves the way for healing by helping you confront the pain and begin to work through it. Only by accepting the truth can you truly begin the journey of forgiveness.

Be Honest to Your Feelings

Be true to yourself and acknowledge all your emotions—anger, disappointment, or pain. It’s normal to feel these things after a betrayal. Allow yourself to fully grieve the loss of trust and the relationship. Don’t bottle up your feelings; express them openly. Reflect on how the betrayal has affected you and communicate these feelings to your partner. Both partners should share their emotions to foster understanding and healing.

Analyse The Root Cause

Before you reach a conclusion, it is essential to understand and analyze the root cause. Try to find out the reason for the betrayal. Reflect on what led to this moment and whether unresolved issues or unspoken feelings contributed. Both partners need to be honest and open, avoiding blame or insults. Remember, the goal is to work together towards healing, not to attack each other.

Candid Conversation

Always remember that words can heal as well as hurt. If you choose to forgive your partner, open communication is essential. This means not just talking but truly listening to each other. Both partners must be ready to share their feelings, fears, and concerns honestly.

Discuss what led to the betrayal and what changes are needed to prevent it in the future. It’s important to focus on learning from past mistakes rather than dwelling on them. Set new expectations and boundaries together, and be transparent about everything. Keeping promises and meeting expectations are vital for rebuilding trust and moving forward.

Patience

Time can be a powerful healer, though it often demands patience. Rebuilding trust after betrayal is not an overnight process; it requires steady, consistent efforts from both partners. The one who betrayed must show through their actions, not just words, that they are truly committed to change.

This means going the extra mile to demonstrate reliability and honesty but remember, meaningful change takes time. The hurt partner must stay positive and believe in their partner’s genuine efforts, understanding that rebuilding trust involves ongoing commitment. Both partners need to work together with patience, believing that, over time, their relationship can be mended and strengthened.

Sometimes, rebuilding a relationship after betrayal involves facing the truth, acknowledging your feelings, and understanding the root cause. Open, honest communication and patience are key. Forgiveness is about letting go of grudges and working together to rebuild trust. Though challenging, it can lead to deeper understanding and a stronger bond.

Marriage is more than just a union between two lovers; it’s a merging of families, cultures, and traditions. When you take those sacred vows in front of the fire, you’re not only pledging your love to your partner but also weaving together two families, each with its own set of customs, values, and dynamics.

The idea of living with in-laws can stir up a myriad of emotions. For some, it’s an opportunity to strengthen family bonds and enjoy the support system that comes with extended family. For others, it can be a potential minefield of conflict and tension. So, how does sharing your living space with your in-laws really impact your marriage?

Shivani Misri Sadhoo, a leading marriage and family therapist in Delhi and Gurgaon shares 5 ways to deal with the situation.

What are Some of the Challenges Faced?

Controlling In-Laws

When in-laws are overly controlling—dictating living arrangements, and child-rearing choices, and reacting poorly to non-compliance—tension rises.

This issue intensifies if your spouse sides with them, adding pressure to your relationship. Addressing it promptly is essential to avoid escalating stress and conflict.

Violation Of Privacy

When in-laws frequently infringe on your privacy, it can cause unnecessary tension in your relationship. You may feel the need to set boundaries, but if your partner dismisses your concerns because it’s family, it can lead to frustration and resentment.

This lack of support might undermine the unity in your relationship, making you feel unsupported and isolated.

Being too Judgmental

It becomes incredibly frustrating when in-laws judge and criticize every move you make, as they often impose their own expectations on your newlywed life. Their judgments about your career choices or parenting can erode your confidence and strain your relationship.

Being Manipulative

Sometimes, in-laws use guilt-tripping as a manipulative tool to control their child’s partner, making them feel inadequate or like they’re making poor decisions.

This tactic can cause significant strain on the relationship, creating a rift between you and your partner, especially if your partner is swayed by the guilt while you’re trying to resist. Such behaviour fosters anger, resentment, and distance.

What are the Strategies to Deal with It?

Honest Communication

It may sound cliché, but effective communication is crucial in any relationship, including those with in-laws. Responses to in-law issues often reflect past experiences, such as a woman’s protectiveness due to a close bond with her mother after an early divorce or a husband’s nervousness from a critical father.

Understanding each other’s backgrounds and fostering open, respectful dialogue—while addressing concerns calmly and empathetically—can prevent misunderstandings and emotional conflicts.

Address The Problem

Many a time, we often choose to ignore problems, but this approach isn’t effective, especially when dealing with issues involving your in-laws. If their behaviour is negatively affecting you and your relationship, pretending it doesn’t matter won’t make it disappear; in fact, it will only worsen over time, impacting both your personal well-being and your relationship.

Facing the issue directly, rather than avoiding it, will lead to a healthier, more balanced life.

Maintain Clear-cut Boundaries

Set clear boundaries early on and adhere to them consistently to maintain peace and sanity. When in-laws or others are given excessive leeway, it can quickly lead to chaos.

Be assertive in defining your limits on issues like finances, unsolicited advice, and personal space. Communicate these boundaries clearly and reinforce them regularly to prevent misunderstandings and conflicts.

Empathy

Being empathetic can ease the challenges of living with in-laws. By trying to understand their perspective, you may reduce their impact on your life. Harmony requires curiosity and empathy, allowing everyone involved to feel understood.

When people feel heard, they are more open to flexibility and change, creating a more peaceful and accommodating environment.

Keep Calm

When your in-laws make offensive comments, resist the urge to react impulsively. Instead, take time to cool off before addressing the issue. A brief pause helps everyone approach the situation more calmly and constructively.

Prioritize addressing significant issues over minor disagreements, and choose your battles wisely to maintain family harmony and your own peace of mind.

What to take out of this?

There is always a way to manage the complexities of living with in-laws and maintain a healthy marriage. By fostering honest communication, addressing issues directly, setting clear boundaries, practicing empathy, and staying calm, you can create a harmonious environment and strengthen your relationship.

Self-care is often viewed as a luxury, but it is, in fact, a necessity for maintaining both personal well-being and healthy relationships. In today’s fast-paced world, taking time to care for oneself is essential to manage stress, enhance emotional health, and maintain physical fitness.

Moreover, self-care significantly impacts how we interact with our partners and can be a cornerstone for a thriving relationship, says one of India’s leading marital and family therapists Shivani Misri Sadhoo in this blog.

What is Self-Care?

Self-care involves any activity that we deliberately engage in to take care of our mental, emotional, and physical health. Simple activities like exercising, reading a book, meditating, or even taking a break from social media can be forms of self-care.

By prioritizing these activities, we replenish our energy and reset our minds, which is crucial for managing day-to-day stressors effectively.

What is the Impact of Neglecting Self-Care?

When we neglect self-care, it often leads to burnout, irritability, and emotional exhaustion. These states can adversely affect our relationships, leading to misunderstandings, conflicts, and a lack of intimacy.

For instance, when an individual is constantly stressed and exhausted, they may become short-tempered and less patient, making it difficult to communicate effectively with their partner.

Conversely, when we are well-rested and emotionally balanced, we are more likely to approach our relationships with patience, understanding, and empathy.

What about the Self-Care and Boundary Setting?

Self-care is not only about personal health but also about setting boundaries and learning to say no. This is particularly important in relationships where individuals may feel pressured to constantly meet their partner’s needs, often at the expense of their own well-being.

By practicing self-care, individuals learn to balance their own needs with those of their partner, leading to a healthier and more reciprocal relationship dynamic.

What are the Possible Benefits of Self-Care for Relationships?

For relationships, self-care has a dual benefit. Firstly, it ensures that each partner is functioning at their best, contributing positively to the relationship.

Secondly, it sets a precedent for mutual respect and understanding. When one partner sees the other taking time for self-care, it can inspire them to do the same, fostering an environment where both individuals feel valued and supported.

What are the Outcomes of Shared Self-Care Activities?

Engaging in self-care together as a couple can also strengthen the bond. Activities like taking a walk together, cooking a healthy meal, or practicing mindfulness can be ways for couples to connect and support each other’s well-being.

This shared commitment to self-care can enhance intimacy and create a deeper sense of partnership.

Self-care is vital for both individual health and the health of relationships. It allows individuals to maintain their mental, emotional, and physical well-being, which in turn makes them better partners.

By prioritizing self-care, we can manage stress more effectively, communicate more clearly, and nurture our relationships more lovingly. Therefore, integrating self-care into our daily routine is not just a personal investment, but a commitment to fostering healthier and more fulfilling relationships.