Category Archive : best couples therapist India

Ways Marriage Will Transform your Life

Probably, marriage brings about the biggest transition in an individual’s life and no matter how ready he/she might be, it will always take the person by surprise. When you begin living with your spouse, changes are bound to happen. Some will bring joy, while others may challenge your patience and sanity. How you adapt to those challenges marriage throws at you and adjust to the changes, will further dictate the course of this lifelong relationship, says Shivani.

So, through this blog renowned couples’ therapist, Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares a few changes and challenges the sacred bond of matrimony would bring in your life.

There will be Several Vulnerable Moments

When you begin your conjugal life with a partner, he or she will gradually discover your strengths and weaknesses. You will share your deepest secrets, desires and tell them things, which you may not have told anyone before. But when you share such intimate details with a person, you are bound to feel vulnerable. There will be times when you would wonder if you have done the right thing by revealing it all, but this is what marriage is. Everyone and every circumstance will demand that you trust your partner with your heart and soul. It will not be simple initially, but things will fit into place with time.

Relationship with In-laws Might not be what you Hoped for

We have sufficient Hindi movies and TV serials highlighting the strained relationship between a daughter-in-law and her mother-in-law. It is only natural for people to form a perception of the partner’s family much before even they are married. However, an individual would only get to know how that relationship would alter his or her life only post getting married. It could be for the good or in the predicted lines of what we have seen in TV shows or movies, but one thing is certain—it will create a deep impact on your life.

Responsibilities will Increase

Under usual circumstances, responsibilities, when shared between two individuals, will decrease. But not in marriage. With every passing year, you will end up getting more responsibilities. And by responsibilities, it is not merely meant for materialistic goals. When you are married to someone, you also have to bear the responsibility of looking after his or her wellbeing. And your partner will also have to do the same. The weight of responsibility can at times be overwhelming but when you do a fine job, the rewards will also be manifold.

Certainly, you will Yearn for some Me Time

Companionship is a wonderful thing. Post marriage, the starting days will be nothing but full of sheer joy. You would see new things that may have remained unobserved till now. You will be spending plenty of time together—be it visiting friends and relatives post the wedding or shopping for household items. The world you kept for yourself, your bed, your room—all the things will now have two people in it. And there will come a time when you would wish that you could spend some time alone, simply like the way you did before you were not married. And such thoughts will be immediately followed by a feeling of guilt. Believe it this is not simple.

Money will be an Important Factor

It is easier said than done, that love is all you need to keep you happy. But only love cannot provide the food on your plate or the roof to live under. Only money can. You will need to have a bigger house, probably buy a car and when you have a family, you will need money to pay for your kid’s school fees. Marriage can teach even the most carefree individual about the importance of money in his life.

You Might not Fall in Love with your Partner

It may sound strange but not all married couples fall in love with each other. Though there are exceptions who tied the knot after falling in love. In several arranged marriages, where the would-be-spouses only get to know each other shortly, hope to find love post marriage. Now, love may happen but there are also probabilities that they may never fall in love. Moreover, plenty of couples fall out of love after being married for a long time. Does it mean their marriage too falls apart? No, not for everyone though

Reasons Your First Year of Marriage is So Important

Besides the newlywed bliss, there come some ups and downs. It is pretty normal to hit rough patches in the first two years of marriage says Shivani Misri Sadhoo, but do not panic. By understanding certain changes and roadblocks you might experience in early marriage, you and your partner can still work together to lay a strong foundation for the years to come.

This article by Couples Therapist Shivani Misri Sadhoo highlights the reasons why your first year of marriage is so important.

Why your First Year of Marriage Matters

Couples Therapist Shivani says the first year of your marriage is full of transitions and adjustments as you and your partner adapt to the new roles. Yet the way you handle and manage this period of adjustment is key to the longevity of your marriage, say researchers.

A decline in love, affection, respect, and responsiveness and a boost in ambivalence within the first couple of years of marriage can be an indicator for divorce after 13 years. This was as per a study in 2009 on the predictors of marital satisfaction and stressors.

The study also saw that couples who divorce during the first couple of years showed signs of disillusionment and were negative toward each other in the first two months of their marriage. Those couples who were still happily married were those who were able to have positive feelings about their spouses during this early period in their relationship.

Some other research shows that newlyweds could be more prone to dissatisfaction because of unrealistic expectations or the level of what they experience against what they expected in terms of marriage. Common unexpected adjustments include some of the following:

·       The “minor things”

·       Competing Loyalties

·       Letdowns

·       Serious Accountabilities

·       Relationship Roles

·       Sex

One more study recorded that newly married couples who look to estimate that their happiness levels will increase (or at least remain the same) within the first four years of marriage are more possible to experience a decline in happiness over time.

Divorce is also quite common within the early years of marriage because of the transition itself into marriage and parenthood, specifically among couples high in neuroticism who have been known to have reduced overall levels of satisfaction in their marriage.

Major Red Flags in Early Marriage

·       Addictions or substance abuse

·       Emotional or physical abuse

·       Fear of conflict

·       Incapability to have fun together

·       Lack of mutual respect

·       Lack of romance and intimacy

·       Married quite early or for the wrong reasons

·       Over-commitment of time and other things

·       Over-spending

·       Selfishness

·       Sexual issues

·       Excessive dependence on parents

·       Unrealistic expectations

Priorities during the First Year of Marriage

If you see yourself a bit depressed post your wedding, it is fine. Honeymoon blues are just normal. Both of you have been caught up in time-consuming wedding preparations.

It is a certain bet that once you do not have that stress or pressure to deal with, you will have a sense of loss. It is the same as the post-holiday letdown that various people experience. However, it is essential to not ignore this period of depression.

Besides this to keep the romance alive, there are other priorities a couple will have to face as well.

Decide how to Handle Money

Discuss clearly whether you wish to manage your finance and money separately, jointly, or having a combination of separate and joint accounts. Either way, do not speak lies, honesty is critical when it comes to avoiding conflicts because of money.

Find out Ways to Manage Chores

Splitting up household chores fairly helps eliminate stress in your home and ensures a happy marriage. Bear in mind that you will possibly have to re-evaluate the list from time to time.

Look for Ways to Spend Free Time

While together time is valuable, you also need quality time outside of your relationship for personal space, growth, and independence.

Make Time for Sex

Even when your lives are busy, keeping your sex life healthy has to remain a priority. While on average most couples generally get intimate once a week, it’s important to find out what works for you to maintain intimacy.

Set Boundaries with in-laws

Have a discussion with your spouse about what is fine and what is not as far as involvement from your in-laws. For instance, can they drop all unannounced or do you expect a phone call or text first?

Understand and Respect Differences

While your core values are possibly the same, your partner’s thoughts and beliefs might differ from your own. Understanding and respecting these differences will assist you to avoid judgment and improve your relationship.

Learn to Handle and Manage Conflict

While conflict is bound to happen, how you handle or manage conflict can make a difference in your marriage. Give your best to maintain a constructive attitude and mutual respect, and be ready to recognize your partner’s point of view.

Discuss Expectations

From household chores to physical intimacy, it is essential to discuss what you expect from your spouse. After all, unmet or unrealistic expectations could create significant stress in your relationship.

Sadly, several couples avoid topics that might become heated. But doing so will do a huge disservice to your union.

What to Do If You are Struggling

The ideal thing to do is hold an open and honest conversation with your partner, without blaming, about your issues. You may initiate by saying something such as, “I think we both are struggling to adjust while being married.”

From there, you might figure out what marriage assistance options might be a good fit for you both. It might be setting aside time to read and discuss self-help books, seeking guidance from a trusted source, or perhaps pursuing couples’ therapy. It is also important to:

Refrain from Blaming your Partner

The blame game will simply exacerbate any struggles you and your spouse are having. Rather, discuss what you feel is happening and ways you can work together as a couple to bridge the gap.

Have Realistic Expectations

Unfair expectations could get the better of your relationship, for instance, you expect your spouse to live up to what you see in romance movies.

Give yourself and your Spouse Time to Adapt

Marriage is new to both of you, so it is essential to have patience as you adjust and adapt to your new roles and responsibilities.

Remember you can Assist your Spouse Grow, but you cannot change who he/she is

While you cannot change your partner, you can alter your reactions and responses, which might prompt your partner to want to change theirs.

Value your Partner

Do not take them for granted. Making an effort to say thank you or I love you and showing appreciation can go a long way in making your partner feel good about themselves and your relationship.

Spend Quality Time Together

Enjoying few one-on-one times can support strengthen your bond, form intimacy, and create cherished memories in your marriage.

Even though the first couple of years of marriage are supposed to be the most difficult, they are mostly remembered as the most joyous. Those could be a great time of intimacy and discovery.

There is a lot more to learn about each other and so much to express to each other. During the newlywed stage, you can lay the foundation for a life-long, meaningful partnership. Thus, enjoy and romance one another.

Signs that Indicate you have Married the Right Person

Getting married is a life-changing and wonderful feeling. After all, taking a decision to spend the rest of your life with someone and sharing every aspect of it is a quite big decision.

Shivani Sadhoo says if this one decision goes wrong, both the individuals in the marriage and their respective families are bound to suffer. Thus, choosing the right person is vital to living a happy and content married life.

If you are wondering whether you have married the right person or not, no need to worry. Here are subtle signs shared in this blog by Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo that indicate you have married the right person.

You Simply can be Yourself Around your Partner

When you are around the right person, you feel free to show your true traits – the good, the bad, and the ugly – without any feeling of being awkward about them. Also, you do not feel under any pressure being judged about anything.

Feel Quite Comfortable Whilst Sharing Anything with them

Perhaps something happened in your past that you are not so confident in telling other people or whether you did something terrible that you always regret. Whatever it is, you must be able to tell your partner and know that they will only listen and support you.

You can Visualize yourself Growing Old with that Person

If you two feel and see yourself sharing wine, traveling, and enjoying each other’s company and other aspects of life down the road, do not worry. It shows you have made the right decision.

You Believe that she/he will become a Wonderful Spouse and Parent

If you wish to expand your family, you need to be marrying a person who also loves kids. Even if he is still too conservative to hold a baby, you will know deep down what kind of a parent he/she would be by his/her qualities and character.

You are Loved Unconditionally

In your heart deep inside you know this person loves you no matter what. Even when you mess up, when you say something terrible, or when the person is terribly annoyed with you.

You have Simply Chosen to be with them

In certain cases, people often can get sucked into relationships where they feel stuck. When you are with the right individual, you still remain you and you are making a conscious choice to share your remaining life with your partner.

You have Flourish in a Positive Manner all through your Relationship

When you marry someone, that individual will shape the person you become while you grow together through life. If you are happy with who you are today it is also because of your partner, you will continue to be happy and content with how you continue to evolve.


Body Language Signs, that Signify a Couple has a Healthy Marriage

Signs of a healthy and happy marriage are pretty much noticeable. Couples Therapist Shivani Sadhoo says that your actions and body language depict how as a partner you treat each other.

Critical details of your body language can convey the state of your marriage, whether it is a happy or a sad one. Hence, this blog by Couples Therapist Shivani Misri Sadhoo brings to you some expressions, or rather, certain body language that clearly signifies that a couple has a healthy marriage.

Eye Contact

If you and your partner maintain good eye contact while talking or discussing any issues, then it certainly means that you both prioritize crystal clear and transparent communication. This also indicates that you both are truly listening to each other. If by any means, your partner is ignoring you, then he/she will shift the gaze to something else.

Mirroring

With time, couples unintentionally begin to mirror each other’s actions or habits. You will see yourself unconsciously following your partner’s footsteps. This is due to the fact that you trust and believe in your partner enough, to do those things on your own as well.

Stealing Touches

Little touches or similar gestures indicate a deep sense of love and connectivity between you two. Touching your partner’s face, arms or patting their back can certainly make your partner feel loved and secure. This will increase the intimacy between the couple, enhancing the sense of affection, adoration, and passion.

Leaning in While your Partner is Talking

If your partner is enthusiastically talking about a certain thing which is really passionate, then you will look to lean forward while having an engaging conversation. It means you are truly excited and genuine to know what your partner is talking about.

Open your Palms

If you open your palms while communicating with your partner, it suggests that you are open and comfortable enough, to talk about your vulnerabilities, insecurities, and thoughts. Open palms signify openness and honesty, which is one of the most essential foundations of a relationship. This also indicates you are open to any criticism.

Your Therapist Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxietydepressionsleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control the pandemic’s spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.


Small Yet Effective Ways to Make your Significant Other Feel Special

For many couples specifically, who have already spent a considerable amount of time in their marriage, it’s pretty easy to take your partner for granted. While the initial flames of young love might have cooled, keep the embers burning with lasting intensity.

Perhaps, life is too busy. It’s quite easy for you or your partner to feel neglected, at the bottom of a long list of priorities. So, the question arises how can you make certain your loved one still knows you love and care for them?

Also, it is not necessary that one has to do something big all the time to make their significant other feel special. Strengthen your relationship in the following small ways as suggested by India’s top marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo to make your significant other feel special.

Tell your Significant Other Things You Love About them

Send messages, leave a voicemail and better still tell them face to face. Instead of saying things like ‘I love you (although that is always nice) try saying something truly specific: ‘I love you for being so kind and thoughtful about … for your support when you were standing with me through those times. Look your partner in his/her eyes when you tell them face to face.

Do Something Helpful

Try to make life a bit easier for your partner, jobs he/she generally does. Get quotes for the car insurance, put on the clothes of washing (and dry/iron/ put them in cupboards afterward), sort and tidy that pile of stuff that has been lurking for ages or clean the bathroom or kitchen from top to bottom.

Give your Significant Other a Small Treat

Bring your partner a favorite takeaway coffee and perhaps a pastry too. Leave chocolate on his or her pillow. Buy a single rose (ok so you may have to hunt for a florist for that one) or a special pot plant.

Give them Your Undivided Attention

Make a favorite soup or shake and sit down to drink them together. Ask: ‘what was the finest part of your day today? What was the worst one?’ Simply listen, you don’t have to fix it. Try to be completely present for your partner while you’re talking (ignore your phone, laptop and ignore the ‘to-do list’ crossing your thoughts).

Get Physical

Give your loved one a foot rub or neck massage. Place your arms around him or her and give them a long, lingering hug. Try kissing for about 60 seconds or longer, more than just giving him or her a peck on the cheek. Also, you may try to shake up your sex schedule. You all know that waiting until the end of the night to get intimate mostly means you fall asleep before you get to it.

Try alternative times to get intimate — maybe your lunch hour, on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon when probably the house is empty or kids may be busy somewhere else that may not need your attention or instructions. If evenings are the only available time, make it a priority —try to get into bed earlier.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxietydepressionsleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control the pandemic’s spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.


Reasons, Why Fighting with your Partner is Good for your Relationship

I hate fighting, I hate conflict, I hate being upset because of my partner, I hate all the bad feelings that come up for me while arguing. I hate hearing hurtful things my partner says. As a counselor, these are some of the common issues that a couple’s therapist often has to hear while counseling couples.

In a counseling session it is very common to hear that when one of the partners says, yes, I am conflict avoidant. Several people are, but not everyone. Some individuals actually like fighting. If you like fighting, you may want to stop reading, unless you wish to peer into the experience of people who have a tough time in high-conflict situations.

In fact, John and Julie Gottman say that how often one fights is not a determinant in the success of your marriage, but rather, it is how one fights. Respect is the defining variable. As long as couples respect each one, fighting in and of itself is not a threat to the marital relationship.

If you are afraid of conflict and strong negative emotions, here are some reasons stated by India’s eminent marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo who stresses why it is essential to be able to successfully engage your partner and manage strife.

Here are several reasons why fighting with your partner could be good for your relationship.

It Bolsters the Relationship by Increasing Trust

Constructive fighting that happens within boundaries, or rules, that lets for emotional expression while avoiding abuse, bolsters a relationship. Weathering the storm lets a couple see the clearing skies, and with calm waters approaching, a deeper understanding is visible on the horizon.

Coming through the other aspect of an argument strengthens feelings of trust in the process. Knowing that you can survive makes fighting less threatening. Because it is less threatening you tend to avoid delaying a confrontation and present your concerns earlier to your partner when they are less likely to cause an explosive reaction.

At times arguments erupt like an unforeseen squall on the ocean, blind-siding both the partners. Surviving these surprises enhances resiliency to confrontational situations.

You will Feel Better

Letting off steam and expressing your feelings frees tension, anxiety, and fear. When it happens, you feel “unburdened,” lighter,” “like a weight is off your shoulders.” Not only does this feel better, but it is also a healthier state when anxiety and stress, with accompanying harmful hormones, are dissipated (this does not mean venting or dumping toxic elements on your partner).

Keeping emotions bottled up every time often leads to rigidity of the mind, body and soul.

Your Partner will get to know about your Views, Feelings, and Thoughts

When you are able to completely express yourself, your partner will understand the depth of your feelings about the given subject. If you say, in a quiet and unobtrusive way, “I do not like it when you do this,” if your partner hears you, he/she will think you are mildly irritated about certain little things. If you are able to put some volume and intensity into the communication, they will get that this is essential to you.

Fighting has a way to bring out your worst tendencies. But it can also bring out your best attributes once you work through the tough stuff. In this process, you get to know the good, the bad, and the ugly of yourselves and your partners, and still love them.

Intimacy Enhances

Fighting tells you what is important for your partner, what they do not like, what they desire, where their limitations are, how flexible they are, what hurts or annoys them, and what they need to feel better or loved. Discovering these aspects breed a deeper intimacy and appreciation of the other.

Fighting could be a growth process in which your self-understanding, and understanding of your partner improves.

Also, many times the physical coziness that makes up post fighting cement intimacy. And to think most of you believe fighting is a bad thing to be avoided at all costs.

Your Partner is a Separate Entity

After you become comfortable in a relationship, it is easy to think your partner knows your mood, your needs, and your desires. Some people even think they can, or must, be able to read your minds. Luckily, fighting dashes these delusions in an instant.

When faced with someone who is absolutely upset, and telling you in no uncertain terms that they do not agree with your point of view, belief, or behavior, it becomes quite obvious that they are their own person. Sometimes it is difficult to recognize them at all as new sides of their personality emerge. It could be a scary sight.

Enhances your Character

You are able to increase your patience, care, and love by focusing on what is valuable – that you care for this person and wish them to be happy (without losing sight of your own needs).

Fighting is just like forging steel. Initially, there is no strength or flexibility in the unrefined product. As it is constantly heated, folded, and re-formed – like a well-carved sword– a beautiful piece of art is forged that can sustain the shocks and strains of heavy combat without breaking.

It is Completely Human; you can Stop Try to be Perfect

Fighting showcases that you are human and not some perfect angelic or divine being, or that you have the perfect relationship, or that you are above everything. It displays that sometimes you are in a bad mood, stressed out, or simply plain tired.

It displays wherein your psyche lay unresolved issues, whether they be for control, stemming due to insecurity, power, from feeling helpless, or self-esteem, from not being appreciated or respected. Whatever your problems, you are guaranteed that they will come up in an intimate relationship – that is just how it works. It is hoped that it has been demonstrated that fighting is a useful function for healthy relationships. When done skillfully, a chance for a greater understanding and love for your partner is possible. Talking about it is easy. Doing is harder.

**However, every fight is not healthy for your relationship. You need to observe how frequently fights or arguments take place in your relationship and what are the patterns.  If they are too frequent. Then it is a sign that tells you not to wait for any miracle. It is a time when you should seek professional help from a qualified marriage counselor or a couple’s therapist. ** Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at Saarthi Counselling Services is there to guide and help you if you are experiencing too much of a fight or constraints in your relationship.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxietydepressionsleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control the pandemic’s spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.


Are you in a Loveless Marriage? The Possible Red Flags

Every relationship has some rough patches. Sometimes, rough patches can stretch into weeks, months, even rough years. If you feel you are currently in the middle of a lengthy rough patch and you are not able to see the light at the end of the tunnel, it is a good time to stop and evaluate what you want from your marriage. At what stage do you take a step back and evaluate where you are through an objective lens? Sometimes it takes a lot more than perspective, sometimes you need to look for the red flags.

Here are the possible signs in this blog shared by India’s top Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo indicates you could be in a loveless marriage.

Couples Therapist Shivani says, be honest with yourself and do a rigorous inventory of your emotions. Although this exercise is not easy, it is far, far easier than staying in a relationship where you are putting nothing in and getting nothing out.

If you feel like you identify with more than one of them (or many), open a dialogue with your partner, look for a marriage counselor and reach out for additional help.

You Cannot Fill the Silence

If you have started to realize that during dinner, long drives, evenings on the sofa, any time spent together, all go in silence and neither of you makes an effort to fill it with quality conversation – this is the sign of a problem. It is unrealistic to hope for great, easy, flowing dialogues anytime you two spend an hour together, but the complete reverse is not symbolic of a healthy and happy marriage.

You are Preoccupied with Other Issues

A better replacement for looking directly at our own problems is looking directly at other people’s problems. If you are actively looking out for opportunities to tuck into some hot gossip with close friends or family, trying to insert yourself in their problem or their solution, then you have to take a step back and ask yourself why you are devoting so much of your time to these distractions.

Feeling Antsy

If you are experiencing itchiness, simply being in your skin is like wearing too-tight clothes, you might be repressing some emotions. Your subconscious is trying to convey to you something that you are not ready to hear (or to admit for yourself). Feelings of restlessness may be a signal to you that you are overlooking something that needs your attention.

You get Intimate Hardly Once a Month or none at all

Definitely, none of the couples are having the same insanely exciting and toe-curling sex that they did at the beginning of their relationship – but abstaining totally takes your foot off the gas. Sex is a physical expression of the love you pledged to each other in your vows, so if you have put your sex life on the backburner for far too long (even if you are still practicing the other forms of your love like friendship, listening, laughing) this is the time to re-prioritize intimacy.

Everything your Partner do or say gets on Your Nerves

Part of marriage is getting annoyed by your partner; it is literally the price for entry. But it is another thing completely when all the time they make a noise, ask questions, snore in bed or load the dishwasher (improperly), it feels like your skin is rushing. If you notice enough of these annoyances in a row (say, a couple of weeks straight) you could be in danger of entering the red zone.

It does not feel Fun anymore

Relationships include a lot of work – and anyone who has been married for any duration of time can attest – but you work at it because it’s fun. Because you enjoy each other, and the relationship brings light and laughter to your lives. But if the fun has gone, the laughter has died down, and the light is dimming, then what’s the point of all those works?

You are way too Close to have an Emotional Affair

Even if you are not comfortable acting on your feelings (and moving towards a physical affair) you feel very attracted to a person – or people – outside of your relationship. You could be leaning on this person for support, divulging a plenty of intimate details, and deepening the connection you feel with this person. Your partner could not accuse you of any inappropriate behavior, but you know you cannot be honest with yourself about how you feel about this individual. That is a strong sign you need to seriously evaluate your commitment.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxietydepressionsleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control the pandemic’s spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.


Reasons a Tender Touch Cultivates and Leads Towards a Greater Intimacy

There are several ways in a relationship that help in fostering love and care for each other. And one of the smallest yet most powerful ways to show your love and care towards your partner is through a tender or a gentle touch.

Shivani says, there are moments in any relationship be it of a husband or wife or any other relationship, when someone is in a crisis or a stressful phase what sometimes have been learned and observed how unbelievable the power of human touch that could be possible. Let us take an example of a small baby who is unwell and is certainly not able to express his problems clearly, except with a cry.  Always feel assured, the moment his mother touches the baby as the baby not only feels assured but for him it acts as a life-sustaining thing. Often, you have heard the qualities of a “mother’s touch”. This is exactly the same.

The same way a tender touch plays an important role even in a couple’s life. Not necessarily a tender touch does for your marriage, that leads to something towards, more in the bedroom only, but the kind of touch that connects and reassures you as a couple and as a soulmate.

Not only does a tender touch cultivate deeper intimacy; it assists you to communicate with each other on another level. It sustains and boosts your connection. And it is an essential part of a healthy, happy, and content marriage.

India’s leading marriage counselor and couple’s therapist Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares the reason why a tender touch cultivates and leads towards greater intimacy.

Touch Helps you Feel, Secure, Known, Assured, and Loved

Tender touch conveys your love for each other and creates a level of emotional safety that opens the avenues for deeper intimacy. It is this deep kind of emotional security that further leads to more physical desire for one another in the long run. Although every married individual wish to experience a healthy sex life with their spouse, it is crucial to building that foundation.

When you feel valued, you are more likely to show vulnerability to one another. Affectionate touch does not shut you down; rather, it opens you to that intimacy you are craving from one another–on several levels.

To be feel seen, heard, and truly known by your partner is a powerful component in the health of your marriage. Small daily moments and habits that are meaningful build upon each other and lead to something wonderful in your marriages. Use the power of touch to show your spouse that you are watching, listening to, caring, and valuing him or her.

Like a tiny infant baby, touch is essential to your well-being in your marriages; without that daily contact, one cannot thrive.

It Keeps you Connected

A tender touch awakens you and reminds you of why you fell in love in the first place. It is a way to tell each other, “I am for you.” It is a constant reminder that you are not enemies– you are in the same team.

Some ways you can stay connected as a couple with tender touch are:

·       A massage posts a long or tiring day at work

·       Comforting hugs when your partner is down

·       Touching your spouse when you are talking or laughing

·       Holding hands in town

·       Putting an arm around your partner while discussing an issue that bothers him/her

Tender touch is specifically important when you are going through a difficult time in your life or marriage. If you have been experiencing plenty of conflicts, problems with your kids or extended family, health issues, or your professional life, stay connected by making physical contact daily–two to three minutes total, at least. You will be surprised how much you accomplish emotionally by intentionally touching each other every day.

It Conveys Affection Sans any Agenda

Tender touch is not merely meant to lead straight to the bedroom; instead, it is meant to convey affection without any agenda attached. It is meant to be a selfless, supportive and kind act instead of a means to an end.

You touch your spouse because you love them and cherish them; if you merely touch them when you have an agenda, they may start to feel resentful of the fact that you only make physical contact when you desire something.

Practice tender touch without expecting anything for an outcome that is sexual in nature. Be playful and affectionate. Passion is an essential component of any marriage, but it is not the only form of physical affection you and your loved one needs to share.

As an extra bonus, the more physical affection you share without any agenda attached, the more you and your spouse will desire each other in that passionate way. And you will certainly find that you inevitably build anticipation for those private moments later on while you are showing one another true affection.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxietydepressionsleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control the pandemic’s spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.