Marriage Counsellor and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

Infidelity in romantic relationships is surprisingly quite common. Sure, some partners may use infidelity as an exit strategy, eventually wanting their partner to know so that their partner initiates a breakup.

While for some, however, hiding infidelity is a top priority. They want to keep their primary relationship partner. They also want to keep their extra-dyadic partner(s). The price of losing their primary relationship, in these cases, is quite high, so they turn to the hard task of hiding their infidelity, says Shivani Sadhoo.

People differ in how creative they are in hiding infidelity, and how much energy they put into stopping their primary partner from finding out their unfaithfulness.

India’s top couples therapist Shivani Misri Sadhoo cites some of the most common to least common tactics that a person might engage in, in order to hide their affairs.

Be discreet

The most commonly endorsed method to keeping an affair quiet is to be intentional about communications and meetings, to limit any scopes of being discovered.

Behave in the same manner as usual

Unusual behaviors might tip off a primary partner, so unfaithful partners will pay attention and bring their usual self to their interactions with their partner. No matter their usual way of interaction (for instance, as complainers, comedians, helpers, or cheerleaders), they keep that way going after their affair starts. By keeping their couple dynamic the same, they work to eradicate suspicion.

Restrict contact with the extra-dyadic partner

In place of seeing an extra-dyadic partner frequently, a person who wants to maintain their primary relationship (even as they wish to continue their affair) will willingly limit how often they meet up with their extra-dyadic partner. As a ploy of being discreet, attention to frequency lowers the likelihood of discovery.

Pay more attention to their primary partner

A presumed way to distract a primary partner so that they do not become suspicious is to shower them with interest, love, and attention. Being warmer and a lot more generous, for instance, are strategies partners may use to hide an affair.

Lock all technology

Solid evidence of a partner’s affair would not be difficult to come by with all of the recorded communications one relies on today (texting, emailing). Partners who do not delete, or who do delete but want additional safeguards, may make sure, and quite intentionally, lock their devices. Changing passwords, signing out of their social media—these sorts of behaviors are strategies to decrease the primary partner’s awareness.

A person usually knows his/her romantic partners quite well, and he/she, you. On account of this intimacy, unfaithful partners probably have an edge in covering their tracks. They may know which strategies and accompanying mechanisms are more important to use, and which may come off as artificial, suspicious, or alarming to their particular partner. In simple words, they can cater their deception to their primary partner.

Says Couples Therapist Shivani Sadhoo

The majority of people underestimate the amount of work it requires to retain a marriage. It is not merely companionship and love but fights, arguments, blame games, and misunderstandings. Couples often fail to realize and act on these negative traits of their marriage, says Shivani Sadhoo thus stumbling into the deep and dark trenches of marital problems. To stop your marriage from struggling further, you and your partner could cater by doing some of the few things that’ll enhance the intimacy between you both, says India’s eminent couples therapist Shivani Misri Sadhoo.

Think of your spouse’s happiness

When you start prioritizing your partner’s happiness first, you will witness the wonders it does to your marriage. This would initiate trust, better understanding, and happiness in the marriage. Love, attention, and care completely transform a person.

Surround yourself with healthy relationships

When you are continuously surrounded by negativity i.e. others’ relationships that just include bitterness, fights, and heated arguments, you and your partner are probably to reflect that same energy into your own marriage too. So, it is very essential to surround yourself with couples who have a healthy marriage and are also able to support you likewise.

Repetitive way

When analyzed, you both observe and find a pattern that reflects negative conduct. If you always fight over your partner’s decisions, then look to doing things according to their perspective too. It might be a welcoming change. You could guide your spouse to do the same as well. Once you both come out of a stagnant pattern, you’ll realize there is a lot more to disagreements, arguments, and fights.

A new beginning is not that bad

Never hesitate to begin afresh. If you and your spouse have reached a standstill where things are not working out anymore, you both could start from scratch. Act in a way the teenagers do, who met each other for the first time and took each other on hour-long dates and to the movies. This could be a big change for the both of you, that will result positively.

Professional support

When things simply cannot work out anymore, professional couples therapists or marriage counselors step in to guide you through your struggles. They have a better understanding and neutral approach and intake of your issues as a couple and they will suggest solutions that if implemented, adequately could impact your marriage to a greater degree.

The role of power plays a crucial role in any relationship. When one specific partner enjoys too much power it often creates disharmony, imbalance and often becomes the sole cause of the relationship to crumble. Shivani says, in any marital relationship maintaining the balance in power dynamics helps it to navigate smoothly.

No relationship can blossom when one partner enjoys the power and the other one has little or no say virtually.

India’s top marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo says times are changing and so do the dynamics of power in your relationship. One who better understands this aspect of balancing power in a relationship stands a higher probability to reap the goods from their relationship.

Here are the things that may help you.

Share power

It is pre-eminent to realize that real empowerment of both partners makes for a happier, healthier family. Learn to balance and divide the power and distribute duties amongst yourselves so that none of you feel stressed or burdened. This needs a mindset shift.

Balance goals both individual and family

Both the partners in a marriage need to honor common goals related to the family and respect individual dreams as well. This lessens the major portion of the load on the husband for the finances and a major portion of the load on the wife for caregiving or in other cases, or vice versa.

Try to influence not impose

Imposing your will and views and one-way communication never help in any relationship. It often leads to a deadlock and damaged egos. The skill of positive impact using listening and questioning is more vital than merely demanding or imposing your views. Honest open communication will assist in solutions when both parties feel empowered and respected.

There may always be a soft balance of power in a husband-wife relationship but to make a long-lasting relationship work, both partners require to feel empowered enough to share their power.

For any relationship to last long, the balancing act of power amongst the partners often decides which way the relationship will march on. If you feel that maintaining the balance in power often creates a rift in your relationship. It is better to introspect that and try to include the above-said things to see the positive changes in your relationship.

Do you remember when you first met your special one? It might have been one of those fairy-tale moments.

Everything surrounding you faded into the background and the one thing that existed was them. You gathered up the courage to introduce yourself and your relationship was created

Or it might have been a simple friendship that eventually transformed into a romance.

Regardless of how it started, married life is totally contrasting to dating.

And nothing can truly prepare you for marriage.

Marriage could be the most difficult aspect in your life – it could also be the finest thing in your life – likely both too.

Shivani Sadhoo says perhaps it is designed that way only.

Marriage is designed to grow two individuals up into better humans. Marriage is not about just being happy, it is about growing.

Keeping this in mind India’s top marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares a few simple points to consider that may help make your marriage better, regardless of how it started.

Even though there is no magical formula for a marriage to work, still certain factors help it to grow. Let us take a look at those factors which are basically the 4 C’s.

Chemistry

There has to be some kind of connection between the two individuals. Similar interests, aims, dreams, etc. While this is not mandatory, it does lay a foundation for several things in marriage, like travel, hobbies, vacations, and outside commitments both individually and together. Take heart and know that if you did not have chemistry, the relationship will be short-lived – so those of you who think or feel you now have nothing in common with your special one after several years of marriage, look and think again because it is probably there.

Communication

Here is another small but important secret for marriage, communication happens every time. In fact, you cannot go without communicating. Everything you say and even don’t say communicates something. Every act you do or don’t do says something too. Communication issues in marriage don’t happen because you cannot communicate, they occur because you do not like the message. In an attempt to master this arena of marriage changes your focus to learning ways to handle the message.

Comedy

Humor is a wonderful reparative aspect of marriage, as well as a fantastic connector. Having the ability to laugh with your loved one, whether this laughter is regarding something external or just about yourself and your relationship, laughter truly is good medicine. Often couples may get bored in a long relationship because of monotonous ways of living life. This is where having a little ingredient of humor in your marital life could often add a spark and color to it.

Commitment

A vital ingredient to any marriage is commitment. Without this, it falls apart. Incidentally, wish to know the secret to a long-lasting marriage? Two individuals who opt to stay married. That is it. Make the decision to stick out through the torrid and rough spots. Often some people say “my marriage is not worth fighting for.” The truth perhaps is they haven’t fought for it. Something is only worth fighting for the post you have fought for it.” Truer words are rarely spoken.

When you are aware of the 4 C’s in marriage, you potentially stand a better chance to have a long and satisfying relationship with your spouse.

Your Therapist Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control the pandemic’s spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

What Does It Mean To Be Emotionally Safe In A Relationship, Says Shivani Sadhoo?

We all have seen in movies, or read love stories, where the protagonists say that love is everything to survive with their lover. Is it actually, everything? Is it truly possible to love someone but not feel emotionally connected? Do you have a desire to connect? But your (deep yearnings keep making you frustrated without knowing the reason).

Wistfully, there is mostly a gap between the love you feel in your heart and the emotional intimacy you experience with someone. Shivani Sadhoo says the connection one desires may seem so close, so they keep trying, yet it might remain sadly elusive. It is maddening when you love a person but do not experience the trust and safety that is paramount for the relationship to thrive. This emotional safety is a vital foundation for an intimate relationship.

This blog by Couples Therapist and Relationship Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo sheds some light on reasons when love is not enough for your relationship to thrive. Read on to know why?

Components of an Emotional Safety

When you feel emotionally safe, you feel internally relaxed with a person. Your guard is down and your shields do not go up when you interact. You feel truly free to be authentic, which includes expressing your hurts, dissatisfactions, and desires without worrying or fearing that you will be criticized or shamed.

As per John Gottman’s research on marital success, one out of the four factors that lead to disturbed relationships is defensiveness (besides criticism, contempt, and stonewalling). You defend yourself against the painful feelings that may pierce your heart if you are blamed, judged, shamed, and even rejected. Maintaining this invisible wall turns into a barrier that does not let your heart remain soft and open.

There are multiple possible manners to protect yourself when you do not feel safe. You may shield yourself by shutting down and remaining distant; you may minimize contact with your partner or friend. Or you might become critical of others before they have an opportunity to criticize you. Or you defensively turn the tables on them when they show any dissatisfaction with you. (For instance, “well you are not a good listener either” or “you are the one who always forgets not me”).

When you feel safe with a person, you do not have to be defensive since there is little to defend against. When you feel constantly treated with respect and kindness, you can relax internally with a partner. As you trust that your partner or even a friend has the intention and ability to see who you truly are—to hear and understand you, even if they might fall short a few times—you relax more and more with them, which boosts the trust and forms intimacy.

Forming a trusting, non-defensive relationship needs that you provide to another what you desire. Love demands reciprocal sharing—extending yourself toward another’s world in a manner that lets the other one feel emotionally safe with you. Enjoying the wonderful dance of intimacy—the aisle of “undefended love,” the way Jett Paris and Marlena Lyon say it: requires two self-aware, undefended individuals who are emotionally honest with themselves and each other.

Being Yourself and Being Truthful

One of the blessings of forming safety in a relationship is that you feel free to be yourself. If you have been hurt in the past, you may have vowed to never be so trusting and open again. Your heart might flash the signal: “not available for love and to be loved.”

Life is richer when you find a partner with whom to enjoy the special bond that comes from being yourself and feeling accepted as you are. As two people feel secure to be vulnerable with each other—showing tender feelings and desires without the worrying of criticism or rejection—the connection enhances.

Emotional safety also needs telling the truth and keeping agreements. You cannot feel safe with an individual who is deceiving you or when their actions are not in line with their words. Authentic, open, trustworthy communication is the life energy of an intimate relationship.

Certainly, nobody is perfect, and it is much simple to perceive others’ imperfections than to see your own. It is inevitable that sometimes trust will be broken, even in the best of relationships. But emotional safety is something that can be restored if two individuals can find the courage and is determined to address the breach through open, non-defensive communication.

And Free Your Mind from Anxiety, Reveals Shivani Sadhoo

We worry about various things at home, at our workspace, within our family, and inside our professional circles and that’s obvious but if your worries and fears have turned constant and interfering with your ability to function and relax – then that’s not correct. You might be at risk of having anxiety disorder that involves constant and chronic worrying, nervousness, and tension. And, anxiety disorder is not just a single issue, it commonly triggers various emotional and physical issues like – hypertension, heart issue, depression, ulcers, etc.

Eminent psychologist and couple’s therapist, Shivani Misri Sadhoo warns that one must try to be careful if they tend to worry about too many things. She adds worry and fear can feel overwhelming and have a way of tricking us into believing that all is lost.  If one is not careful about what to worry about and what to let go then your worry may start to devour you; i.e. it may turn into a habit without notice.

Psychologist Shivani in this blog shares some cool methods that everyone can try and get themselves free from the circle of constant worrying.

“All IZZ Well” – Place your hand over your heart. 

Like the famous character of Amir Khan, “Ranchordas” in the movie 3 idiots has suggested, the moment you are worried, stressed, or fearful, place your hand over your heart, close your eyes but instead saying “all is well”, try to imagine someone you feel completely safe with.  It could be your spiritual guru, or your parents, or even your pet.  As you remember feeling loved, sit with this feeling for at least 30 seconds.  Notice the calm.

The science behind it? During stress and tension, your fight or flight system is activated and your cortisol levels are elevated.  Deep breathing causes the vague nerve to signal your nervous system to lower your heart rate, blood pressure, and cortisol. Taking just ten deep breaths can assist with relaxation and provide a sense of calm.

Don’t time leap in futures

If you live as if the future has already happened, you will build a habit to worry about something that hasn’t happened yet. You avoid worrying about the future by practising mindfulness, which is a type of meditation in which you focus on being intensely aware of what you’re sensing and feeling in the moment, without interpretation or judgment.

Practising mindfulness involves breathing methods, guided imagery, and other practices to relax the body and mind and help reduce stress.

Practice self-acceptance

There is a strong link between an unsure sense of self and a tendency to worry about small things. Hence it’s important to try shifting your self-concept from negative to positive or develop self-acceptance. It includes body acceptance, self-protection from negative criticism, and believing in one’s capacities.

Your perception drives your worries

If you think deeply, you will realize worries are largely triggered by perceptions. For instance, if your child has not scored well in past academic years, you may start to worry that he/she will not do well in the upcoming examinations too. When you start to constantly worry, you may start to pile stress on your life, and the outcome from it may soon result in constant criticism, constant judgments, constant expression of distrust for your child – resulting in communication gaps. Instead of worrying about what has not happened yet, focus on knowing what may be causing your child to develop disinterest in studies, is there any issue at school or with classmates or with a teacher, etc.

Probably, marriage brings about the biggest transition in an individual’s life and no matter how ready he/she might be, it will always take the person by surprise. When you begin living with your spouse, changes are bound to happen. Some will bring joy, while others may challenge your patience and sanity. How you adapt to those challenges marriage throws at you and adjust to the changes, will further dictate the course of this lifelong relationship, says Shivani.

So, through this blog renowned couples’ therapist, Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares a few changes and challenges the sacred bond of matrimony would bring in your life.

There will be Several Vulnerable Moments

When you begin your conjugal life with a partner, he or she will gradually discover your strengths and weaknesses. You will share your deepest secrets, desires and tell them things, which you may not have told anyone before. But when you share such intimate details with a person, you are bound to feel vulnerable. There will be times when you would wonder if you have done the right thing by revealing it all, but this is what marriage is. Everyone and every circumstance will demand that you trust your partner with your heart and soul. It will not be simple initially, but things will fit into place with time.

Relationship with In-laws Might not be what you Hoped for

We have sufficient Hindi movies and TV serials highlighting the strained relationship between a daughter-in-law and her mother-in-law. It is only natural for people to form a perception of the partner’s family much before even they are married. However, an individual would only get to know how that relationship would alter his or her life only post getting married. It could be for the good or in the predicted lines of what we have seen in TV shows or movies, but one thing is certain—it will create a deep impact on your life.

Responsibilities will Increase

Under usual circumstances, responsibilities, when shared between two individuals, will decrease. But not in marriage. With every passing year, you will end up getting more responsibilities. And by responsibilities, it is not merely meant for materialistic goals. When you are married to someone, you also have to bear the responsibility of looking after his or her wellbeing. And your partner will also have to do the same. The weight of responsibility can at times be overwhelming but when you do a fine job, the rewards will also be manifold.

Certainly, you will Yearn for some Me Time

Companionship is a wonderful thing. Post marriage, the starting days will be nothing but full of sheer joy. You would see new things that may have remained unobserved till now. You will be spending plenty of time together—be it visiting friends and relatives post the wedding or shopping for household items. The world you kept for yourself, your bed, your room—all the things will now have two people in it. And there will come a time when you would wish that you could spend some time alone, simply like the way you did before you were not married. And such thoughts will be immediately followed by a feeling of guilt. Believe it this is not simple.

Money will be an Important Factor

It is easier said than done, that love is all you need to keep you happy. But only love cannot provide the food on your plate or the roof to live under. Only money can. You will need to have a bigger house, probably buy a car and when you have a family, you will need money to pay for your kid’s school fees. Marriage can teach even the most carefree individual about the importance of money in his life.

You Might not Fall in Love with your Partner

It may sound strange but not all married couples fall in love with each other. Though there are exceptions who tied the knot after falling in love. In several arranged marriages, where the would-be-spouses only get to know each other shortly, hope to find love post marriage. Now, love may happen but there are also probabilities that they may never fall in love. Moreover, plenty of couples fall out of love after being married for a long time. Does it mean their marriage too falls apart? No, not for everyone though

Besides the newlywed bliss, there come some ups and downs. It is pretty normal to hit rough patches in the first two years of marriage says Shivani Misri Sadhoo, but do not panic. By understanding certain changes and roadblocks you might experience in early marriage, you and your partner can still work together to lay a strong foundation for the years to come.

This article by Couples Therapist Shivani Misri Sadhoo highlights the reasons why your first year of marriage is so important.

Why your First Year of Marriage Matters

Couples Therapist Shivani says the first year of your marriage is full of transitions and adjustments as you and your partner adapt to the new roles. Yet the way you handle and manage this period of adjustment is key to the longevity of your marriage, say researchers.

A decline in love, affection, respect, and responsiveness and a boost in ambivalence within the first couple of years of marriage can be an indicator for divorce after 13 years. This was as per a study in 2009 on the predictors of marital satisfaction and stressors.

The study also saw that couples who divorce during the first couple of years showed signs of disillusionment and were negative toward each other in the first two months of their marriage. Those couples who were still happily married were those who were able to have positive feelings about their spouses during this early period in their relationship.

Some other research shows that newlyweds could be more prone to dissatisfaction because of unrealistic expectations or the level of what they experience against what they expected in terms of marriage. Common unexpected adjustments include some of the following:

·       The “minor things”

·       Competing Loyalties

·       Letdowns

·       Serious Accountabilities

·       Relationship Roles

·       Sex

One more study recorded that newly married couples who look to estimate that their happiness levels will increase (or at least remain the same) within the first four years of marriage are more possible to experience a decline in happiness over time.

Divorce is also quite common within the early years of marriage because of the transition itself into marriage and parenthood, specifically among couples high in neuroticism who have been known to have reduced overall levels of satisfaction in their marriage.

Major Red Flags in Early Marriage

·       Addictions or substance abuse

·       Emotional or physical abuse

·       Fear of conflict

·       Incapability to have fun together

·       Lack of mutual respect

·       Lack of romance and intimacy

·       Married quite early or for the wrong reasons

·       Over-commitment of time and other things

·       Over-spending

·       Selfishness

·       Sexual issues

·       Excessive dependence on parents

·       Unrealistic expectations

Priorities during the First Year of Marriage

If you see yourself a bit depressed post your wedding, it is fine. Honeymoon blues are just normal. Both of you have been caught up in time-consuming wedding preparations.

It is a certain bet that once you do not have that stress or pressure to deal with, you will have a sense of loss. It is the same as the post-holiday letdown that various people experience. However, it is essential to not ignore this period of depression.

Besides this to keep the romance alive, there are other priorities a couple will have to face as well.

Decide how to Handle Money

Discuss clearly whether you wish to manage your finance and money separately, jointly, or having a combination of separate and joint accounts. Either way, do not speak lies, honesty is critical when it comes to avoiding conflicts because of money.

Find out Ways to Manage Chores

Splitting up household chores fairly helps eliminate stress in your home and ensures a happy marriage. Bear in mind that you will possibly have to re-evaluate the list from time to time.

Look for Ways to Spend Free Time

While together time is valuable, you also need quality time outside of your relationship for personal space, growth, and independence.

Make Time for Sex

Even when your lives are busy, keeping your sex life healthy has to remain a priority. While on average most couples generally get intimate once a week, it’s important to find out what works for you to maintain intimacy.

Set Boundaries with in-laws

Have a discussion with your spouse about what is fine and what is not as far as involvement from your in-laws. For instance, can they drop all unannounced or do you expect a phone call or text first?

Understand and Respect Differences

While your core values are possibly the same, your partner’s thoughts and beliefs might differ from your own. Understanding and respecting these differences will assist you to avoid judgment and improve your relationship.

Learn to Handle and Manage Conflict

While conflict is bound to happen, how you handle or manage conflict can make a difference in your marriage. Give your best to maintain a constructive attitude and mutual respect, and be ready to recognize your partner’s point of view.

Discuss Expectations

From household chores to physical intimacy, it is essential to discuss what you expect from your spouse. After all, unmet or unrealistic expectations could create significant stress in your relationship.

Sadly, several couples avoid topics that might become heated. But doing so will do a huge disservice to your union.

What to Do If You are Struggling

The ideal thing to do is hold an open and honest conversation with your partner, without blaming, about your issues. You may initiate by saying something such as, “I think we both are struggling to adjust while being married.”

From there, you might figure out what marriage assistance options might be a good fit for you both. It might be setting aside time to read and discuss self-help books, seeking guidance from a trusted source, or perhaps pursuing couples’ therapy. It is also important to:

Refrain from Blaming your Partner

The blame game will simply exacerbate any struggles you and your spouse are having. Rather, discuss what you feel is happening and ways you can work together as a couple to bridge the gap.

Have Realistic Expectations

Unfair expectations could get the better of your relationship, for instance, you expect your spouse to live up to what you see in romance movies.

Give yourself and your Spouse Time to Adapt

Marriage is new to both of you, so it is essential to have patience as you adjust and adapt to your new roles and responsibilities.

Remember you can Assist your Spouse Grow, but you cannot change who he/she is

While you cannot change your partner, you can alter your reactions and responses, which might prompt your partner to want to change theirs.

Value your Partner

Do not take them for granted. Making an effort to say thank you or I love you and showing appreciation can go a long way in making your partner feel good about themselves and your relationship.

Spend Quality Time Together

Enjoying few one-on-one times can support strengthen your bond, form intimacy, and create cherished memories in your marriage.

Even though the first couple of years of marriage are supposed to be the most difficult, they are mostly remembered as the most joyous. Those could be a great time of intimacy and discovery.

There is a lot more to learn about each other and so much to express to each other. During the newlywed stage, you can lay the foundation for a life-long, meaningful partnership. Thus, enjoy and romance one another.

Getting married is a life-changing and wonderful feeling. After all, taking a decision to spend the rest of your life with someone and sharing every aspect of it is a quite big decision.

Shivani Sadhoo says if this one decision goes wrong, both the individuals in the marriage and their respective families are bound to suffer. Thus, choosing the right person is vital to living a happy and content married life.

If you are wondering whether you have married the right person or not, no need to worry. Here are subtle signs shared in this blog by Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo that indicate you have married the right person.

You Simply can be Yourself Around your Partner

When you are around the right person, you feel free to show your true traits – the good, the bad, and the ugly – without any feeling of being awkward about them. Also, you do not feel under any pressure being judged about anything.

Feel Quite Comfortable Whilst Sharing Anything with them

Perhaps something happened in your past that you are not so confident in telling other people or whether you did something terrible that you always regret. Whatever it is, you must be able to tell your partner and know that they will only listen and support you.

You can Visualize yourself Growing Old with that Person

If you two feel and see yourself sharing wine, traveling, and enjoying each other’s company and other aspects of life down the road, do not worry. It shows you have made the right decision.

You Believe that she/he will become a Wonderful Spouse and Parent

If you wish to expand your family, you need to be marrying a person who also loves kids. Even if he is still too conservative to hold a baby, you will know deep down what kind of a parent he/she would be by his/her qualities and character.

You are Loved Unconditionally

In your heart deep inside you know this person loves you no matter what. Even when you mess up, when you say something terrible, or when the person is terribly annoyed with you.

You have Simply Chosen to be with them

In certain cases, people often can get sucked into relationships where they feel stuck. When you are with the right individual, you still remain you and you are making a conscious choice to share your remaining life with your partner.

You have Flourish in a Positive Manner all through your Relationship

When you marry someone, that individual will shape the person you become while you grow together through life. If you are happy with who you are today it is also because of your partner, you will continue to be happy and content with how you continue to evolve.

Signs of a healthy and happy marriage are pretty much noticeable. Couples Therapist Shivani Sadhoo says that your actions and body language depict how as a partner you treat each other.

Critical details of your body language can convey the state of your marriage, whether it is a happy or a sad one. Hence, this blog by Couples Therapist Shivani Misri Sadhoo brings to you some expressions, or rather, certain body language that clearly signifies that a couple has a healthy marriage.

Eye Contact

If you and your partner maintain good eye contact while talking or discussing any issues, then it certainly means that you both prioritize crystal clear and transparent communication. This also indicates that you both are truly listening to each other. If by any means, your partner is ignoring you, then he/she will shift the gaze to something else.

Mirroring

With time, couples unintentionally begin to mirror each other’s actions or habits. You will see yourself unconsciously following your partner’s footsteps. This is due to the fact that you trust and believe in your partner enough, to do those things on your own as well.

Stealing Touches

Little touches or similar gestures indicate a deep sense of love and connectivity between you two. Touching your partner’s face, arms or patting their back can certainly make your partner feel loved and secure. This will increase the intimacy between the couple, enhancing the sense of affection, adoration, and passion.

Leaning in While your Partner is Talking

If your partner is enthusiastically talking about a certain thing which is really passionate, then you will look to lean forward while having an engaging conversation. It means you are truly excited and genuine to know what your partner is talking about.

Open your Palms

If you open your palms while communicating with your partner, it suggests that you are open and comfortable enough, to talk about your vulnerabilities, insecurities, and thoughts. Open palms signify openness and honesty, which is one of the most essential foundations of a relationship. This also indicates you are open to any criticism.

Your Therapist Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control the pandemic’s spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.