The current pandemic and its lockdowns have changed family routines like never before. Parents who could hardly catch up with their kid in past, are now staying 24×7 at home. For the kids, there is no more going to schools, day-care, and coaching centers. This sudden change has offered many families to rediscover their family bonds and at the same time, this change is also creating some new difficulties – and one such problem is the “emergence of helicopter parenting”.
Helicopter parenting is a term used to describe a kind of over-parenting. It involves excessive levels of involvement and control by parents in their children’s lives. A motivation for this parenting style is driven by the parents’ worry that their child might come to harm or not flourish. Earlier helicopter parenting was limited to single working parents’ situations, but now a large number of parents are doing work from home and hence getting all the time to interact, focus, and worry for the kids.
No doubt, parental involvement in a child’s life is extremely beneficial, but only if it is developmentally appropriate. A child needs to experience failure and she/he should learn from their mistakes through trial and error. Unfortunately, the over-involvement of parents can limit the children’s ability to engage in this opportunity, and research suggests that helicopter parenting can even stunt a child’s cognitive and emotional development.
In this article, Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares some of the warning signs of helicopter parenting:
1. Your child has completed his/her school assignment but you are rewriting assignment at 12 midnight because you know that it could have been done better.
2. Your child should be helping you in daily chores – cleaning floor, washing clothes and dishes in the absence of your maid, never comes to you.
3. You get heart palpitations at the thought of letting your child go and talk and chat over online platforms. Even though it was the case earlier also, but since, you are spending all the time at home, as a result, you are becoming more bothered of the same.
4. In an online PTM when the teacher asks your child the question, you answer them.
5. While playing indoor games if there is a point of decision making for your child, he/she looked puzzled and searches for you to make the decision.
Life as you all know it has been put on hold indefinitely. You have all been asked to stay at home to support so that spread of the COVID-19’ speed can be reduced or restricted. Together, we all can save lives and this is something you can all get behind.
But what would you do while you are confined to your homes? May be watching your favorite online or television shows, or sitting down with a good book.
Online streaming is your first option of call in the COVID-19 storm. Plenty of shows, movies that too, all at the touch of a single button. This is the thing dreams are made of. But you do not necessarily have to opt-out for a subscription to get your shows on because there are lots of free digital TV services that can keep you entertained.
Only make sure you get up and move around between intervals, or do a little workout.
Workout As Per Your Convenience
Locked inside does not have to mean that you will remain inactive. In fact, a workout can be exactly what you required to quiet those restless legs and it is a lot simpler than you think. No need for any equipment, just have your phone and watch the latest exercise videos directly to your living room.
There is nothing quite like sitting up on the sofa with a good book and this is a perfect time, so why not keep aside the distractions and let yourself lose in another world? Whether it is sci-fi, romance, mythology, or any topic of your choice there is something for everyone. If you do not have books you can download them from several sites in your mobile, tablets or laptops.
Try Some Recipes
Markets and other food shops may remain open throughout the COVID-19 outbreak, if not then you must have something in your kitchen. So, there is nothing to panic about. And with a little extra time on your hands, this can be the perfect opportunity to try a new recipe or cook your favorite meal. You can probably have a recipe book at home, also you can avail plenty of ideas online.
Clean Your House
A great way to spend some of your daily time. At times like these, it is simply natural to want to clean. Because of COVID-19 a new illness, which is not clear how it spreads, but if it is anything like the viruses one is used to, it is possibly to be through coughs and sneezes. Tiny droplets can be inhaled or drop on surfaces where they are then picked up and transferred to other places. Dedicatedly clean your house daily just to make the environment of your house clean and safe.
Even during these hours of crisis, it is essential to take time for yourself, so why not enjoy a bit of pampering? You will not go to your saloon or have your nails done, but you can still, give yourself a nice hot and an aromatic bath and have a cozy me time.
Create New Hobbies
This is another opportunity to explore new horizons. You are locked at home and need to spend time doing something creative. Thus, it is a perfect time to try your hand at things like painting, do meditation, or even learn languages or other interesting things online. There are numerous options to explore.
Whether you live alone are with family everyone loves a little bit of gaming. So indulge in a round of some indoor games with your wife, kids, and other family members. Else, you can play plenty of offline and online games using your gadgets.
Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away
During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-10 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.
However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception. But try it before you disregard this option. This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.
You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!
Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.
You have all given your entire energy into the wedding for days and months, and you have gone through the complete process of hiring, buying, and returning everything possible. Now, you are beginning to feel blues. Is post-marriage depression a reality, or is it all in your mind?
The reality is: 1 in 10 brides reports feeling post-marriage depression, and it is likely this number is often under-reported most of the time. You are not alone, and brides, in particular, tend to suffer from it, though grooms can also feel a bit of this.
Like any kind of depression, it is difficult to know exactly what causes post-marriage depression. 1 factor appears to be the difference between brides who perceived the wedding as their big goal and those who thought about the wedding as the beginning of a new chapter in life. If you have been preparing for the marriage like some would cheer on like during the run in a favorite sport, it is no surprise you are feeling blue.
Another reason can be the events linked with the wedding. If you are planning a honeymoon, you might be stressed out about it. If you have already done it, the disappointment of getting back to your own home and normal life again could be daunting. Perhaps you and your new partner are now living together for the first time. Depression can definitely result from the changed living conditions, even when you are happy living with your new spouse.
How Can You Prevent Post-Marriage Depression?
If you have not yet held your wedding, it is smart to be searching ahead to what you can expect to post the wedding, good for you. There are lots of things you can do to assist prevent post-marriage depression, though there are no sureties.
First, stay grounded as you plan your marriage. Bear in mind to keep looking past the wedding to your future schedules and the daily things that matter to you, rather than wasting all your energy into the wedding every day. This entire focus will leave a gap after the wedding, so avoid being completely engrossed by the process.
During the wedding and after it, remember that your moment could be here, but you will not remain the center of attraction. Though you can enjoy it, try not to get accustomed to it. Highlight those near you and their efforts and achievements. Sometimes, that can feel better than being the center of attraction.
Lastly, try to share the burden. Not only will this stop you from being totally absorbed in the wedding or from being the center of attraction, but it will ensure you do not reach a zone that alienates friends and family. These people around you will be your critical support post the wedding, as well.
How To Alleviate Post-Marriage Depression?
If you see yourself missing the frenzy of planning and excitement, or feeling blue without actually knowing why you can still recover from post-marriage depression all by yourself. The most necessary step to take is to seek out a therapist if the depression carries on or if you feel like you need to see a specialist you are not the first to suffer from post-marriage depression, nor you will be the last.
You can initially try to shift the planning and creativity-based tasks to something else. Marriage involves a huge amount of both, and this needs both left-brain and right-brain types. You can plan your career or take up a new activity. Learn to dance, take a course in learning a language or simply help some other person.
Have you ever thought about up a new hobby? You might have to drop hobbies in order to make time for the marriage, so this is the perfect time to pick them back up. Never give in when the temptation to spend the extra time watching TV programs. It will only add to the depression. Rather, get involved in something. You can join social work, take up a sports activity, or start exercising daily. In fact, exercise and yoga are some of the best remedies for depression.
How To Set Goals To Recover From Post-Marriage Depression?
Suppose there are no underlying biological or medical causes for your depression, you might be able to treat it by merely shifting your focus and your goals. Rather than planning for a wedding, take a look at the stuff you have always wanted to do. Those things that keep you awake at night. The things that force you daydream about how you could ever possibly achieve them.
Whatever that dream is that you forgot about in the hours of planning the marriage, bring it into the forefront of your mind again and start planning.
Plan meticulously. Do not simply idly think about it time and again. Make a deadline that forces you to get creative as your wedding did. Use checklists and diaries, tell all your friends about the deadlines, make small steps, and recruit your loved one’s help.
There’s no reason why you should have to suffer from post-marriage depression. If the depression continues, talk to a specialist, and remember to confide in your partner, friends, and family. Your support system is always the finest of you, and they can be a source of comfort and joy as you divert your focus from the wedding to your new life ahead.
Does your palm get sweaty or your heart starts beating like a big brass band every time you leave your home for your workplace? Do you keep worrying about everyday social situations or how people will judge or scrutinize you?
This constant feeling of tension or worry that interferes with your daily life even when there is no real threat is what we call ANXIETY. People with anxiety disorder often feel that sickening sense of fear almost every day. It just does not let you live in peace. However, there is a fine line of difference between ‘fear’ and ‘anxiety’.
If fear is fearful of something in particular or definite like maybe a fear of insects, then anxiety is being anxious about nothing in particular. Human psychology defines anxiety as ‘the state of being troubled and uneasy. It includes choke, throttle, trouble, and upset and encompasses behavioral, affective and cognitive responses to the perception of danger. Anxiety isn’t always bad.
The good news is that in small doses, it motivates us to deal with the challenges of life. It also helps us to identify and respond to danger in ‘flight or fight’ mode. The bad news is that persistent anxiety may lead to several anxiety disorders like Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Panic Disorder, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), Social Phobia (or Social Anxiety Disorder).
In other words, today you practically live in ‘an age of anxiety’. About 275 million people suffer from anxiety disorders today. Out of which approximately 170 million are female and about 105 million are male sufferers.
In this era of technological revolution as we constantly toggle between screens and compulsively check social media anxiety is inevitable. The hustle and bustle of today’s hectic life presents situations that cause extreme anxiety. Though the particular causes of anxiety are unknown. Yet, some of the causes could be:
· Social Pressure
· Marital distress
· Work-Related Stress
· Financial Problems
· Usage Of Drugs
· Medical Illness (like heart attack, heat stroke, hypoglycemia)
To get rid of your anxiety, what should you do? Take a deep breath or try meditation or simply talk to someone. There are various ways of coping with anxiety.
It reduces anxiety by lowering the level of the body’s stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. It also boosts the production of endorphins, chemicals in the brain which are the body’s natural painkillers and mood elevators. It also helps you to sleep better thereby relieving your anxiety.
Supplements like lemon balm, ashwagandha (an herb) or green tea is very helpful in treating anxiety. Since some supplements can interact with medications or might have side-effects, hence it is advisable to consult the doctor beforehand.
Reduce Your Caffeine Intake
Caffeine present in beverages like tea, coffee, energy drinks or even chocolate stimulates your “fight or flight” response that can make your anxiety worse.
Spend Time With Your Loved Ones
Spending some quality time with friends and family acts as a natural stress reliever. It kills your anxiety. What can be more comforting than a warm embrace from your mother or maybe hanging out with your BFF? Several studies reveal that hugging releases oxytocin in the brain that lowers blood pressure while being with your best friend reduces the level of cortisol stress hormone. That makes you less anxious!
Being in a toxic relationship is not never an easy task. Most of you want to get out of toxic work life, friendships and also relationships. However, when it comes to relationships, one needs to understand if the habits are really toxic.
Plenty of times you end up objectifying common habits and tendencies as toxic when in actuality they are not. After all, no relationship is perfect and at times all it needs is some time and reflection. While most of you want things to be scenic and romantic all the time, which in reality is not practical to attain.
Sometimes, you and your partner can hurt the feelings of each other. There are times when you have to tell your partner the fact, they do not want to hear. Rather than having a fake and pretentious relationship, it is vital, to be honest. If your partner provides you his/her honest opinion, it is fine to be hurt, but it is normal for the partner to maintain transparency.
Not Accepting The Flaws
The reality of every relationship is that nobody is perfect. Every individual has flaws and imperfections, the faster you accept, the better it is. If your partner accepts you with every flaw of yours, even you should too. Overlooking a few shortcomings can bring you two closer than ever.
A majority of people want to avoid arguments, which is normal and fine. You need to understand that everything cannot be resolved by talking. Some conflicts simply happen and cannot be resolved. It is fine to ignore a few conflicts, instead of arguing and hurting each other anymore. As there is a saying, some battles are not worth fighting. All you require to understand is it worth fighting or not?
Taking Some Place
In this busy life, you cannot just focus on your partner. Everyone needs some time off even from a relationship. You cannot always be the escape zone for your better half. Sometimes, spending time apart is good, which will only make your relationship stronger in the future. If you or your partner wants to spend some time away, then it is fine. From old hobbies on a trip with your friends, spending some time away from your partner can help to bring back the spark.
Feeling Attracted To Someone Else
As much as you would like to believe that you can have attraction only for your significant one, human chemistry says otherwise. It is okay to find other people attractive, as it is biologically unavoidable. Once you get past the honeymoon phase, it is fine to feel attracted to each other. Liking someone is unavoidable and to act on it is your choice and conscience always.
Almost every individual is guilty of having some expectations or others in relationships. It is natural. What you do not want is to keep those expectations to yourself, because you will only set yourself ready for disappointment. After all, if your partner does not know what your wants and needs are, how can it be fulfilled by them?
First, take over complete responsibility for your own happiness. Understand that people cannot fulfill your life and make you happy. Irrespective of your dreams or excitement about your upcoming marriage, your would-be spouse is not responsible for making you happy or your honeymoon a hit according to your criteria.
Understand the feelings linked with unmet expectations, emotions like disappointment, frustration, hurt, and fear. How can you know if you have an unmet expectation? Disappointment. Whenever you feel disappointment in your relationship, then most likely some expectation has not been met. When expectations are met, partners feel satisfied, happy, gratified, fulfilled, contented, respected, cared for and loved. On the other hand, when expectations are not fulfilled or are in conflict, other less-pleasant emotions emerge. These feelings are a sign that expectations are not meshing. It is vital to understand what you are feeling, validate the feeling, and then loo to uncover the expectation on which it is based. In a few cases, your partner would not even know of the expectation; in fact, the only sign of its existence is its emotional effect.
Once you are aware of the feelings linked with unfulfilled expectations, then you can get the awareness required to make the needed adjustment. Awareness answers questions such as What was I expecting must happen? What I was wishing or hoping would take place?
What were my pre-assumptions about my partner and his or her behavior? Push yourself to have a hard look at your expectations. The logic of these questions is to think whether the answers to the questions are practical, productive, and workable. It is not that they are true or false, or correct or incorrect; rather, the answers are preferences, likes, or disbeliefs. The idea here is to help you to identify the misinterpretation, enabling you to alter your way of thinking.
From where are the expectations are coming? Do they have their origins in dreams, wishes, assumptions, hopes, standards, past relationships, your family of origin, culture, television or somewhere else?
Are your expectations valid or invalid? Challenge your expectations amongst yourself. Evaluation means that you decide if the expectations seem to be supported by purposeful reality.
Keep in mind, that the ultimate aim of expectations is to make them clear. In simple words, make your unspoken desires spoken. Express your expectations with clarity. Sharing your expectations lets you define a mutual vision of how you want your future marriage to be. The best thing is that when you express your expectations, you let your partner decide if he or she can satisfy that requirement. He or she gets the chance to decide if the expectation can be met most of the time, sometimes, or never.
Irrespective of race, religion, size, shape or age, long term couples everywhere suffer from the same problem, called monotony. Perhaps this is one of the reasons why divorce rates are increasing, and many people are justifying their acts and blame each other.
Every story is unique, and everybody is free to their own logic for leaving. However, there is no doubt that boredom and the irrepressible baggage of tedium has a role to play in some relationships falling apart.
The entire point of being in love and dedicating your life to someone is being under the impact that you will spend a lifetime of love, laughter, joy, and companionship together. What happens when you get up one day and realize that your ideals are replaced by endless continuity, repetition, and boring monotony? This is when you begin getting resentful, angry, and ready to pack up and leave.
What many couples do not understand is that monotony in a relationship can be easily put off if both parties invest in making a change.
Want to feel refreshed and inspired again, not only in your relationship but in life? Then travel. There is no better method to get the monotony out of your relationship than by traveling along with your partner.
When you move up and leave the cozy confines of your daily life, you end up doing things that you never imagined you would. You end up seeing stuff that is extraordinarily new. You will taste, feel, and hear much more than what an ordinary life can offer.
Select a destination, and plant out the logistics on how to get there. Do not make excuses, do not assume, and just do it. Remember that nothing can infringe all over monotony the way traveling can.
Indulge In Sexual Surprises
Several couples fall into the trap of routine love making. Whether it is doing it on only on weekends, doing the thing before 10:00 PM every night, or only doing it for the sake of doing it, it is a pathetic thought indeed, once you come to the understanding that your once high sex drive has fizzled out into a slow-burning candle, and all that is left is boredom.
Spice it up by changing up the routine. Do it at different times. Let your intimacy take over, feed to its whims and fancies, and feel that there’s no proper place or time to get it on.
Do Something New Every Week
One more way to rid your relationship of monotony is to assign yourselves to do something new as a couple every week. It might be renting a motorbike and going for a spin around the town. It could be watching a movie or doing sports activities.
No matter what you end up doing, ensure that it is something new, and your partner is 100% involved. The more challenging the task, the better it is.
Do A Project Together
You can also throw monotony to the dead-end by signing up for a course or taking on a project together. It does not have to be something big like building a homeless shelter, but go right away, and indulge in it if that excites you.
It could be something simple like joining a cooking class or learning music together. No matter what, the feeling of starting something new and reaching an end goal together will be certain to keep things fresh and exciting.
Welcome New Life Into Your Old One
One the reason perhaps why things seem so monotonous is because the 2 of you simply are not enough. Have you ever thought about welcoming a third party into your life? It is about welcoming a pet or even a child into your lives.
Remember never do this to save your relationship because it will not help one bit. Do it only if both of you feel that being a team of 2 simply is not sufficient. Whether you decide to welcome a child into the world, adopt a pet, or grow plants, it is truly an amazing thing when you decide to share the love, grow your family, and create a life together.
You mostly tend to strive for the honeymoon phase in relationships, where everything is like fantasy and full of wonders and you just cannot get enough of your partner. And though that phase can feel as pleasurable as you make it out to be, it’s also exactly what you call it a phase.
No relationship will be sunshine and rainbows every day of your life. A relationship is built up of at least 2 people and those people have individual requirements, and at times those needs include being alone. But how accurately do you know if you require space from your partner?
If you cannot make it an hour or two without checking in or asking a question to your partner, you need a break.
It’s completely fine to need space in a relationship. You could be an introvert that needs alone time to rest or you may just like spending time by yourself every once in a while. Needing some time apart does not mean you do not love your partner. It only means you need time to take care of yourself and recharge.
If you are continuously arguing over minor things, it could be time to take a break. Sometimes simply changing the pattern of spending so much time together can stop the cycle of bickering.
Try spending a day or weekend apart with your other loved ones. It’s good for the relationship and good for the bickering that is a sign that you need a break.
You Do Not Do Anything Without Telling Your Partner
If you are feeling like you cannot even go buy groceries without giving your partner a heads-up, it is perhaps a sign you need some space. A big sign you require space in a relationship is when you are co-dependent and cannot do anything without letting your partner know or getting your partner’s nod.
Begin out small by taking a break from calling, messaging or emailing each other. Chances are you are trying the above things multiple times. Don’t. Wait until you see each other in person at a given time of the day. Sometimes the 8-hour workday apart is sufficient. Other times you may need more.
The Quirks Are No Longer Quirky
If all the cute and mushy little things your partner does is no cuter to you, then it might be a good idea to spend some time alone. This is a sign you require some space from your partner is if “how they dress, or they talk. If every little thing is bothering you, it’s certain time for a break.
Spending Time Together Is Not As Fun As It Was Once
If you are not having fun in your relationship, some alone time could be necessary. If you are feeling drained after spending time together, again it’s time for some time apart. You likely require some space if your relationship is going through a torrid phase and it feels like every interaction results in a really hard and painful discussion. Being together should not be difficult, but when being together isn’t smooth-sailing, a small-time away from each other may be exactly what you and your partner need.
You Feel Stressed Out
If anything is stressing you out, it could be a good idea to spend some time alone. Even if the stressor is not coming from your relationship. At times underlying stress or tension can make staying together feel like friction. Thus, it is helpful to check in with yourself and think about whether it is coming from outer stressors like work or family, or if there is something you are wanting in the relationship but not necessarily having.
You Do Not Feel Like Yourself
Needing alone time is never a bad idea. A major sign that you need some time away from your partner is if you’re feeling fatigued, irritable, or simply not yourself. Your spouse will understand if you need some time to take care of yourself and your mental health. “Make this a consistent part of your life so that you can have a good balance of time alone and time with your loved ones.
Needing space from your partner does not mean there is anything ridiculously wrong with your relationship. It’s always fine to give some time to yourself in order to rest, compose, and spend time with other people those you love.
matter how new or old, is one of the most beautiful parts
of your life. When you are in love
with your partner, it seems as if everything around you is
non-existent and that anything could be conquered simply through love.
silent after a heated discussion with your partner may seem like
the best response, but this is a behavior that you should eliminate.
damages relationships and leads to less relationship satisfaction. Avoid this
damage inflicting treatment and instead communicate openly and honestly
with your partner
not mean confrontation. Opening up dialogue can assist you to get to
the root of your problem and solve it efficiently.
Assuming Your Partner Knows
that couples must stop is thinking that their partner knows
everything without you telling them.
Your partner cannot
read your mind or know your needs
unless you express them. It is not fair to assume
that your partner should be able to
determine your every desire if you don’t tell them. Many
people are not good at reading minds. In good relationships, partners are
honest and decisive about expressing their needs, and their partners are the
A good partner will
not think you are nagging simply because you are expressing
what you need from your partner and telling them
how you feel.
Keeping your feelings
to yourself will seem easier than expressing them while you are in a
relationship, but in reality, doing so could really
hurt your relationship.
Almost everybody is
familiar with the situation when there is some problem and
one partner asks the other if they are upset and
the partner says, I am OK, but things are most certainly
not fine. If you are upset, the best way to do is to say
so. You probably want to come off as non-confrontational, but
ultimately that will not do you or your relationship good.
When you bottle up your emotions you can begin to
develop resentments towards your partner.
Those can intensify
and result in a huge disaster that could have been avoided
if you just addressed the concern from the
start. Your partner is not certainly a mind reader, so if they
ask you, answer them honestly and communicate about it. Good communication
will always help your relationship grow further in a good direction.
Over Your Partner
While in love and
sending cute text messages entire day to your partner may be
normal at first, but if you see yourself being too concerned with whatever
they do, this may be a big problem. This is actually an obsessive behavior.
It’s easy to get
caught up in the wind of romance, particularly when you first start
dating, but this behavior can
destroy you and your relationship. When you start
to get into obsessive thinking, you are slowly exerting up the
pressure on yourself and your partner. You may not know it
but you’re not giving the relationship space it requires to manifest as it
supposed to. Though it may seem as if you are only
expressing your love, being a bit too
into your partner can damage the chemistry.
Showing Your Relationship
On Social Media
Since you live
in the era of social media, it is quite easy to over-share in various aspects
of your life and that includes your relationship. It is not
acceptable to do this, particularly against your partner’s wishes.
Instead of aiming
to become relationship goals for social media, act on being the best
couple you can be in your real life.
Letting Your Friends
Or Relatives Get Involved In Your Relationship
bad or good is happening in your relationship, it’s natural to run
to your friends or family members to discuss it. However, it is one
of the biggest mistakes you can make and you should
eradicate it from your behavior.
If you ask your friends
about things they may not agree. Few friends are not pro
relationships. Check who you trust to a small few and know that
certain topics are not at all for discussion.
feel easy enough to discuss your concerns with your partner before
taking them to another person.
Intimacy or lovemaking does not have to get boring in a long-term marriage. As the years pass by and you get older, your intimate relationship must get better. Sex with your partner can become more satisfying because you know each other’s preferences, likes, dislikes, and habits.
You know that life can get in the way. Work, children, finances, and several issues can dampen the romance. These everyday factors can hamper both your desire for sex and getting the time to put in the effort. But do not put sex on a shelve or last to-do tasks. There are ways to prioritize lovemaking and keep it healthy and exciting.
Create boundaries around your immediate or nuclear family. Include individual, couple, and family time built into your daily life and pre-defined lines of connection with each partner’s family. This means you have clear boundaries around how much time you spend with your and your spouse’s family. Your own relationship and family should be the first priority.
Touch Each Other Whenever You Can
Have a well-established connection around non-sexual physical touching, holding each other’s hand, laying together, and sitting on the couch with each other. Touch each other often. Make a routine to kiss when saying hello and bidding goodbye every day.
Say I Love You To Each Other
Hearing the three magical words I love you can make you feel reassured about the way your partner feels about the relationship with you. It is a small gesture that can keep your connection alive. Call each other during the day to say it if you missed your chance earlier in the day.
Set Date For Love Making
Have consistent physical intimacy dates. Having a frequent sexual relationship in your marriage is essential. Couples in the 20s have sex an average of 2 to 4 times a week. Couples in the 30s normally do it twice a week and couples in the 40s and 50s usually have it once every week. Pay attention to the frequency at which you are having sex. Try not to be sexually intimate less than twice a month, because you may get into a habit that does not give priority to connecting in a physical manner. Maintaining your physical connection provides your marriage staying power and safeguard it from the stresses of life. Make time either spontaneously or planned, to follow through with consistent lovemaking and intimacy. Your sexual relationship should be a tension reducer, not a tension builder.
Compliment Your Partner
Compliment your spouse in front of others. Not only it is a good thing to do, but it also helps your spouse feel a deep sense of attachment to you and boosts their self-esteem. It’s also good to model for your kids so that they see you being complementary to each other.
Change The Pattern Of Your Love Making
Try often to make love using a distinct sexual script. By mixing up your normal order of kissing, foreplay, and intercourse, you can reconnect in a great way. By mixing up the script, you take ownership of pleasure and excitement in your marriage. Nothing is better than feeling desired and having a partner who takes control of the sexual relationship.
Regularly Treat Each Other
Regularly give your partner small gifts or show gestures of love and care. Leave your spouse a loving note, get them a special treat when you go shopping or come back from office. Write I love you on a slip and keep it in their cupboard. Pay attention to these small but moving gestures.
Arrange Weekly Dates
Plan weekly dates to keep the spark in your connection. Also, arrange weekly business meetings to discuss professional life or including the division of roles and household responsibilities, weekly plans, and other matters that need to be discussed. By keeping these conversations apart, date night can be about connecting, talking, and getting physical, while organizational business night can be about work-related problem-solving and working as a team during the week.