Category Archive : marriage Counselling Tips

best marriage counselor in New Delhi Shivani Misri sadhoo

Tell-Tale Signs that Your Relationship Needs Counselling

When you hit the like button on your bestie’s ‘picture perfect relationship’ posts with her husband on social media and feel envious, just remember that those ‘oh-so-cute’ photos have been carefully curated, edited, and filtered just to garner attention and appreciation from friends, relatives, strangers, and acquaintances. However, in real life, there are no filters. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side.

Relationships undergo a series of trials and tribulations. In any relationship, conflict is inevitable, but it is critical to recognize when it is a red flag. However, it is not the end of the world. Just like we consult a doctor when we fall sick, couples too can take help from relationship counsellors to save their relationship from falling apart.

Many times, couples feel embarrassed by the idea of seeking help and avoid seeing a therapist. But, believe it or not, couples counseling really helps. Even a healthy relationship can benefit from it. So, how do you know that your relationship needs counseling? Here are a few signs to look out for according to New Delhi’s leading marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo.

best marriage counselor in new delhi shivani misri sadhoo
  • Communication gap: Communication is the key to all successful relationships. In order to understand each other, couples need to communicate well. And always remember that communication is a two-way process. If you want yourself to be heard, you too must lend your ear whenever your partner wants to share their feelings and emotions. So, if you really feel that your partner constantly withdraws from an interaction or simply avoids confronting the issues, then this is a classic case of stonewalling. This is where a counselor may be able to break down the wall between you two and help with proper communication.
  • Lack of intimacy: Do you suddenly feel that your relationship has lost its spark? Although the honeymoon phase may not last forever, the feeling of togetherness must not fade away. Lack of physical and emotional intimacy can affect your relationship badly. Talking to a relationship counselor might help.
  • Too many arguments: As mentioned earlier in this article, arguments are an inevitable part of any relationship. Arguments are not necessarily bad. It is the way people handle them that makes a difference. Sometimes conflicts blow out of proportion. Couples must ‘agree to disagree’ to resolve a conflict in a healthy way. Relationship counselors can help you diffuse disagreements in a calm and composed way and make sure you respect and love each other.
  • Lack of trust: Trust is the cornerstone of a strong and successful relationship. Once broken, it is difficult to rebuild. Many times, couples fail to comprehend the real reason for this lack of trust. And that’s where a relationship expert comes into the picture. A counselor can help couples decode the real reasons for mistrust and help them rebuild it.
  • An Affair: No relationship is ever without flaws. But, if you or your partner are thinking of having or already having an affair, then there’s something seriously wrong with your relationship. The very thought of having an affair is a clear indication that you are seeking something your partner or better half cannot provide you with. This is regardless of whether it is an emotional or physical desire. If you have had an affair already or are planning to have one, then it is high time you consider taking help from a relationship counselor. This will help repair that breach of trust.
  • Transition: Even though change is the only constant in this life, any significant change in your life, whether it is getting married, having a child, buying a house, getting sick, or even changing careers, can create friction in relationships. Getting help from a counselor may be the best way to help you deal with change effectively.
how to grow a highly romantic relationship

5 Absolute Ingredients Needed for Growing a Highly Romantic

Yet Very Stable Relationship According to Couples Therapist Shivani Sadhoo

Unluckily, relationship skills and self-care are never taught in school. Yet, these two aspects and life necessities can certainly have a huge effect on any person’s happiness and success in life.

And things become even worse, amidst the chaotic and hectic modern-day life, where most people don’t even have quality time for themselves. So, just imagine how those people can have time for others. And this is the case with several couples too, where they simply have no time to contribute anything to their relationship.

All, these later contribute to arguments, and quarrels, eventually leading to quitting the relationship. On the other hand, we have couples who even in the midst of all the chaos and dramas are living a dream-like relationship that is sometimes even hard to imagine, if that actually is possible. Relationship coach and couples counselor Shivani says, this is very much possible to have a loving and happy relationship.

top marriage counsellor shivani misri sadhoo

Through this blog, India’s eminent couple’s therapist Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares 5 such ingredients that are needed for nurturing a super romantic, yet absolutely stable relationship.

Knowing yourself

In the process of life, several of us learn to hide our feelings, strengths, desires, and personal goals. If those are hidden from ourselves, we cannot show up as complete people in a relationship. Thus, taking time to look inside of yourself and visit the hidden areas of your feelings, experiences and desires help you to show up as a genuine and honest person.

Too many of you are taught by well-meaning figures to bury your feelings and to be ashamed of your dreams and to simply plain keep others happy. It never works in a relationship. So mostly as Shivani says she hears from couples: “I just do not know who he or she is. I get such mixed signals or no response at all about where we want to go together, in life.”

In knowing yourselves, you do know what you personally need to keep on your own pathway towards success and happiness and then you can communicate that to your partners. It all starts with yourself “Do what you love!”

tips to make relationship highly romantic by counselor shivani misri sadhoo

Practicing self-care

Do you know the number of people who are simply plain burned out in life, lately? You have been tested in your abilities to survive and adapt during certain current tough challenges here in your life. Being the best version of yourself in a relationship means you know how to and you do all it takes to be healthy in mind, body, and spirit.

When you do not feel good, or you are too stressed or lack faith in yourself or in the future, you cannot be a good partner to anyone. You all know the steps to take for good self-care, but do you really practice these behaviors? As human beings, you need good sleep, exercise, healthy food, time outdoors in nature, adventures, and fun, constant learning, and a belief in something greater than yourself.

Whatever your religious or spiritual thought process may be, spending time with the practices will enhance your vibrational level and lead you to better self-care and creativity.

Communicating in a positive way

As in any relationship, differences will arise. And in fact, in relationships with the biggest differences, growth and deeper learning takes place in an attempt to relate to one another. So enjoy the differences and learn to try to understand each other and those differences.

If you can learn to converse from your heart rather than putting your partner on the defensive, overcoming differences and learning to be more open can truly be fun. For years you have been learning about “I statements.”

They are truly heart statements. Here is an instance. Your partner comes home late. A typical reaction would be a question like “Why are you so late while coming home?” The implication here is that the individual is in trouble or has misbehaved.

A heart statement would be “Oh I really miss having time with you and I get sad or worried when you reach home later than I expected.” Observe how the communication is about caring, about loving the other one instead of interrogating the partner.

Letting do-overs

When conflict and misunderstanding occur in a relationship, it is mostly difficult to practice positive communication. In those situations when buttons are being pushed harder and frustration or anger grows, take a break from the discussion.

During that break genuinely try to imagine what your partner is looking to communicate and where he or she is coming from. Then go back to your inner communication and approach with the aim of understanding, accepting, and loving the other person.

Any one of you can call a Do Over or a Break as things get even slightly heated. In calling a break, again bring this back to yourself with statements such as” I genuinely feel bad with how this is going and I wish to find a better way to understand and support you.

How about if we try the same discussion again when we both feel prepared?” There is so much respect and love in that manner of dealing with misunderstandings or differences.

Keeping passion and excitement alive

As you keep growing in your individual passions and your learning, you bring excitement into a relationship.  This journey is meant for learning and growth and not retreating into comfort or any mundane.

Fear might create a desire to protect yourself from facing life’s tough challenges head-on. The only two fears everyone is born with are fear of falling and fear of loud noises. The remaining ones have learned fears. The good thing about learned fears is that you can unlearn those fears by facing them when that opportunity arises.

As you individually face your fears, you create adventure, fun, and stimulation in the relationship. The passion enhances in response to those behaviors. Words such as “this is interesting” or “challenge accepted” can help assist you in your self-talk as you take on the challenges life gives you. Think of the energy you bring home to the relationship as you keep moving ahead in life and following your dreams.

As you could see, the best relationships need self-focus and an honoring of your true selves. Then when you show up to your partner an incredibly positive and fulfilling relationship will take place.

different kind of infidelity - marriage counseling

5 Different Kinds of Infidelity – Shares Couples Therapist Shivani Sadhoo

If you have ever been the victim of infidelity, the first thing you probably asked was, “why?” The outcomes of infidelity are numerous, and it is just natural to seek to know why your partner opts to cheat, even if knowing why does not bring you any relief. There might be any number of reasons, and there are several kinds of infidelity and cheating that could shed some light on those reasons, opines Shivani.

Infidelity, or cheating, is an act of being unfaithful to your partner. It usually, means engaging in sexual or romantic relations with another person other than his or her significant other, damaging a commitment or promise in the act.

Each instance of infidelity is different and fulfills a distinct need. Even though knowing why a partner cheated probably would not lessen any pain or anger you feel, being capable to rationalize the behavior and define it will allay some confusion. It could also help you feel more confident in terms of how to move forward from the situation, whether that means working on healing your relationship or moving on or should you decide to split up.

Learn more through this blog by India’s eminent marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo where she explains five forms of cheating and things to do if you find yourself the victim of infidelity. Here are the types:

Opportunistic Infidelity

Opportunistic infidelity happens when one person is in love and attached to their partner, but succumbs to their sexual urge and desire for someone else. Generally, this sort of cheating is driven through situational circumstances or opportunity, risk-taking conduct. Shivani says not every act of infidelity is premeditated and forced by dissatisfaction with a current relationship. Perhaps, two individuals were drinking or in some other manner thrown into an opportunity they never anticipated.

Post the fact, the more in love a person is with their significant other, the more guilt they will feel as a result of their physical encounter. However, feelings of guilt seem to fade as the fear of being caught abates.

Obligatory infidelity

This sort of infidelity is formed on the fear that resisting someone’s sexual advances will have an outcome in rejection. People might have feelings of sexual longing, love, and attachment for a partner, but still, end up cheating since they have a strong requirement for approval. Also, their need for approval could cause them to act in a manner that is at odds compared to their other feelings. In simple words, some people cheat, not due to the fact they want to cheat, but because they require the approval that comes besides having the attention of others.

Commemorative Infidelity

This kind of infidelity happens when a person is in a committed relationship but has no feelings for their other half. There is no sexual desire, love, or attachment, just a sense of obligation to keep the couple together. Lacking love and lacking commitment to a present romantic partner are both linked to general feelings of relationship dissatisfaction.

These kinds of people justify cheating by telling themselves they have every right to look for what they are not availing of in their present relationship. Unfulfilled sexual needs could easily come into play here. Perhaps, in their established relationship, individuals are not engaging in the frequency of sex, the pattern of sex, or certain sexual behaviors that they aspire to. This could contribute to their logic to cheat.

Romantic Infidelity

At times (but not always) a deficit in a present relationship leads people to have extradyadic affairs. This sort of infidelity happens when the cheater has a small emotional attachment to their partner. They might be committed to their marriage and making it work, but they desire an intimate, loving connection with someone else.

More than possibly, their commitment to the marriage will stop them from ever leaving their spouse. Romantic infidelity means agony for the other man or woman and the cheating partner, rarely does it go into a long-term, committed relationship. Marital issues have to be quite severe prior to a spouse will leave the marriage for another individual.

Conflicted Romantic Infidelity

This happens when people experience true love and sexual desire for more than one individual at a time. Despite the idealistic notion of having just one true love, it is possible to feel intense romantic love for several people at the same time. While such scenarios are emotionally possible, they are quite complicated and seem to create plenty of anxiety and stress. In this scenario, cheating partners, in their effort not to cause anyone harm, mostly end up hurting everyone.

What to do after being cheated on

Now that whatever confusion you have hopefully been assuaged, it is up to you to decide what kind of steps to take next. Several marriages and relationships can survive infidelity, but whether or not yours will survive depends on what sort of infidelity took place and how much work you are both willing to put in. It is simply common sense to know that an opportunistic or a habitual cheater will cheat irrespective of how many times their cheating has been discovered and forgiven. Having said that any other reasons why your partner cheated do not mean they would not cheat again, so bear that in mind while deciding what steps to take next.

Marriage counselling tips

Steps to Be a Supportive Partners for a Successful Marriage

Humans are emotional beings who always crave love, care, respect, and support.

Friends and family are important, but you all yearn to have that special someone in your life who would love you unconditionally and be by your side, no matter what goes wrong.

The support of your partner in the lowest moments can help you boost your confidence to another level. However, arduous a situation is, a supportive partner’s presence can make you believe that everything will be alright.

Being a supportive partner feels like an essential part of a relationship, but some people might not know the best methods to be a supportive husband, wife, or significant other.

There are different types of support in a relationship, as well as several vital reasons for supporting your partner or significant other, says Shivani.

What does it actually mean to be a supportive partner?

There is no clear example of what it means to be a supportive partner. The idea of being supportive that holds for you may or may not work for another.

Eventually, having a supportive partner means that your needs, and desires are met in the relationship, whatever these could be.

One method to know you have a supportive spouse or that you are supportive in a relationship is to look at the idea of choice. Here they are:

  •        A supportive partner lets their significant other make choices
  •        A supportive partner is the one who is encouraging
  •        Supportive partner also means making your significant other feel important and respected

Being supportive in a relationship is quite vital because it is one of the most important aspects of developing a relationship. Having a supportive partner lets a person cope with challenges in life. While also having a partner who supports your dreams allows you to become the finest version of yourself.

Signs of a supportive partner

Supporting a partner may look different in every relationship, but there are some subtle and strong signs that prove one is a supportive wife or a husband.

  •        Being a good listener
  •        Displaying consideration for your spouse
  •        Taking time to laugh with your partner
  •        Paying attention to your spouse
  •        Being helpful
  •        Having the ability to apologize
  •        Being honest
  •        Viewing your spouse as your teammate

Now you get some ideas that signify a supportive partner, here in this blog leading couple’s therapist Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares steps that one needs to take to be a supportive partner.

Make a commitment to truly listen to your spouse

Active listening is important for the well functioning of an intimate relationship. Responsive listening needs you to be actively interested and participate in the conversation. You can do them by taking some time to ask questions and post-listening to them so that you can actually understand your partner’s views.

Be empathetic

It needs you to place yourself in your spouse’s shoes. For example, if your partner is venting about a bad day at work, just think about how you may have felt if you had an issue at the workplace with a co-worker and wanted to talk about it to someone.

steps to have a successful marriage

Communicate to your spouse often that you two are a team

When things get difficult, be certain to communicate to your spouse that you two are a team and a union. Express that you wish to remain supportive of each other.

Give time to discuss your partner’s dreams and aspirations

Take some time to sit with your partner and talk about their dreams, hopes, goals, and aspirations. It shows your partner that you support them in growing and becoming the best version of themselves.

Provide your partner some time to cool off or relax by themselves

If your partner comes home from work and appears stressed or just not in the mood to talk, recognize the fact and provide them some alone time to unwind, by not taking it personally.

Appreciate your spouse

From time to time praise your partner for their accomplishments and let them know that you appreciate the things they do for you.

Practice little, thoughtful acts

You can practice small and thoughtful acts. Like doing the extra household chores which are usually done by your partner daily or if you are going out take out your partner’s car to fill the fuel or take it to the car wash.

Avoid talking to your spouse out of their feelings

You might be uncomfortable with your partner’s unpleasant emotions but telling them not to be upset could go a long way and make them feel unsupported.

Let your partner do the things their own way

Your partner may occasionally do something different from what you do, but by chastising them, you only show a lack of support. So, rather than criticizing or correcting them simply accept the way they do things.

marriage counsellng tips for partners lost interest

My Spouse Does Not Find Me Attractive Anymore

Couples Therapist Shivani Misri Sadhoo Says, Learn the Signs and Ways to Rekindle Attraction within Your Relationship

For a relationship to grow, certain things have to be in place: love: to maintain the bond, tenderness, and care that drew both the partners together. Trust: a vital foundation every bond requires to promote a sense of security between significant others, and definitely—attraction—because passion added with excitement keeps the fire burning in any successful relationship.

It’s difficult to put any of these factors above the other, this is due to the fact they all work in sync to keep a relationship going. However, knowing that your spouse experiences an electrifying thrill from mundane things such as your smile, how clothes fit on your body, or maybe even simply watching you work in your element, is a feeling that is not easily traded in a relationship.

This is why at the initial signs that you no longer spark a fire in someone you love, it could feel more than a little unsettling.

This blog by leading marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo tells about specific signs that might indicate a decrease in how attractive your spouse finds you. In case signs are there, you will also learn ways to rekindle the lost attraction.

Here are some red flags that may indicate that your spouse is facing difficulty to see you as attractive.

Your spouse is spending more time away from you

When your partner is spending more time away from home or from you. This could be worrying. Yes, it is also true if you and your partner are spending less time together is not always a concern. Sometimes individual spaces are needed. But if your partner repeatedly gives excuses as to why they can’t talk or spend time together. Then it is a sign of losing spark.

marriage counselling tips by shivani sadhoo

Putting less or no effort into the relationship

A sad indicator indeed. Your partner is putting no or less effort in the relationship. Planning activities become things of the past, and getting responses through phones and texts becomes daunting. This is painful specifically when earlier your partner was diligent in making you special early on.

Waning sex life or intimacy

An important factor to determine is how your spouse feels about your physical relationship is to examine your sex life. What does getting intimate generally feel like? Are you and your partner taking time to speak and discuss it? This particularly could be noted in married couples. A drastic change in pattern while getting intimate indicates how attractive your partner finds you. When intimacy is completely missing or there is a lack of it, this is a sure sign your partner is losing interest in you. Or another sign is when your partner getting intimate becomes just a general routine for them, they do it just for an obligation nothing more than that.

Frequent fighting

Sometimes small fights are fine, but if your partner has become more irritable towards you and does not waste any opportunity to quarrel with you even on the slightest of issues. It is a sign of waning attraction.

Ways to rekindle the attraction within your relationship

Knowing your partner no more finds you attractive could be painful. But being aware might be the vital cog to transforming your relationship. Here are some ways to rekindle the lost spark shares Shivani.

Have an open communication

Speakto your spouse openly and honestly about the alteration you have noticed in their attraction to you. Learn how they view you, or if your conduct has changed to an extent that might be causing them to pull away. Knowing all this could give you a clue or two that will take you towards resolving the complexities.

Spend some time apart

Spending time apart does not mean completely cutting off entire communication. It is vital to check from time to time while being apart. But when you spend some time apart by going on some solo trip or going on a vacation with your friends, this may give your partner the opportunity to miss you and also a chance to rediscover your lost self. Perhaps a reunion after this brief separation could ignite lost attraction even more.

Do basic romance

Just remember how you met earlier. With your partner’s indulgence, you would be able to take your relationship back just to the good old days. Go on dates again. Take care to groom yourself and look good again. Send intimate texts or go to movies or dinner dates. Keeping close to your partner and breaking the monotony could help revive the lost attraction.

benefits of hugging

Do You Know Your Hug Can Help Your Loved Ones Physically?

For those fortunate enough to have loved ones nearby, hugging could have substantial health benefits. Sadly, people who have been deprived of availing of physical touch during the pandemic that led to social isolation and lockdowns have felt the detrimental health impacts that a lack of physical touch could impose. Video calls are useful strategies to feel close to others when face-to-face interactions are not feasible, but nothing comes closer to being with loved ones in person.

Shivani says in simple words you can put hugging that can be described as a handshake from the heart. The simple act of embracing forms feel-good energy for both the giver and recipient. Science has been looking into its positive impacts, and several studies related to hugging, cuddling, and touching have been seeing the same conclusion—hugging is a vital part of human development.

Human touch or hugging is equally vital for both babies and adults opines Shivani Sadhoo.

India’s top psychologist and couples therapist Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares some of the amazing benefits of the ever so magical “Hug”.

how hugging benefits your loved ones

Hugging is heart-friendly

Embracing triggers the hormone oxytocin, which makes you feel all warm and fuzzy. In one experiment at the University of North Carolina, participants who did not have any contact with their partners formed a quickened heart rate of 10 beats per minute, compared to the 5 beats per minute among those who got to hug their partners during the experiment.

Reduces stress naturally

If you are feeling a little drained or pressured, get someone you care about and provide them an all-enveloping hug. Research has seen that embracing lowers the amount of cortisol (stress hormone) in human bodies, freeing tension and sending calming messages to the brain.

It could minimize fears

A study conducted on fears and self-esteem checked into the link between human touch and lowering the fear of mortality. Participants were more likely to have less anxiety about death when being lightly touched or hugging an inanimate thing such as a teddy bear.

Giving hugs to babies help them become a well-prepared adult

Touch is vital to infants, particularly in their early stages of life as it assists them to bond with others while they get older. A study was done that compared a group of adopted kids whose first years were spent in orphanages where they did not receive physical contact, to kids who were raised by an affectionate family. It found that the adopted children had significantly lesser levels of vasopressin—a hormone that has a role in familial recognition and bonding —compared to others.

It is vital for adults too

Physical touch and hugging could counter feelings of loneliness that grow as people get older. A retirement home in New York did a study in which they conducted a program called “Embraceable You.” The logic was to encourage cross-generational contact and touch amongst residents and staff members in an attempt to improve the residents’ well-being. The outcomes were conclusive, with residents who were touched or given hugs 3 or more times a day had more energy, felt less depressed, were better capable to concentrate, and got more restful sleep compared to their less-hugged counterparts.

Do you think your relationship is healthy

Do You Think Your Relationship is Healthy? 

Couples Therapist Shivani Sadhoo shares 3 must-have qualities for long-lasting love

A healthy relationship or marriage is commonly defined by the couple’s bonding condition where both the partners feel connected to each other and they feel satisfied with how the relationship is growing. A healthy relationship is best suited to travel through all difficult stages of life and survive the iron of time. But unfortunately, that does not happen too often. Many a time we witness couples who are happy today face issues like infidelity, breakups, and disinterest in sex in the future.

So many may, question, why relationships that are happy and fine today, can break tomorrow?

India’s leading marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo suggests it happens because many times, couples fail to identify if their current non-problematic relationship is actually healthy or not? They fail to identify unhealthy relationships on time and thus fail to take correction steps, effectively on time.

In today’s blog, Shivani Sadhoo shares 5 key qualities of a healthy relationship, that can help couples if something.

1.  Both the partners can communicate clearly
Many a time, one partner does all the talking and the other just listens, the person who does the most talking may identify the relationship as healthy, but what about the partner who might have stopped expressing him or herself. Thus, clear and direct communication by both partners is the first sign of a healthy relationship.

2. Partner’s trust

The second sign of a healthy relationship, is the partner’s complete trust for each other in all key areas of marital life like money, investment, parenting style, faithfulness, and others. Plus, each partner respects the other’s decision on these matters.

3. Partner feels independent

A healthy relationship does not mean staying happy together at cost of sacrificing self-identity and personal space. It’s important that the couples have their own identity independent of their partners. This means having your own interests and hobbies, or your own friendship circle that is separate from your relationship.

But this also doesn’t mean that the husband goes to a party every Saturday night while the wife waits at home and she takes care of home chores and children alone. Make it a collaborative effort, husband must understand and express the gratitude for wife’s contribution if she is a housewife and alternately both husband and wife should take out time to spend quality time together as well as to spend some time for their individual interests.

best marriage counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo

SIGNS YOU NEED MARRIAGE COUNSELLING

A large number of marriages are ending in divorces and that too in a society where marriage is considered a sacred thing. It would not take much to know that marriage is not a cakewalk any more at least in today’s fast life.  Marriage needs some serious hard-work, and it is something that most of us fail to focus on.

Though it starts with all the promises of a happily-ever-afters and story like romances, it actually is far away from this. Marriage involves understanding each other on levels beyond sexual compatibility, involving the minors and majors of daily lives. Have you and your partner been sharing a house but not a relationship? Have you been pondering where the spark went off and why you the two of you cannot even have a decent discussion? Well, as a matter of fact, it happens to several couples, some are quick to rebound while some need external help. This is when marriage counseling comes into play. If your marriage is kind of hanging on the rocks, then you can do with some good advice and look for marriage counseling.

In today’s article, Delhi’s top Marriage Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo talks about the signs you need marriage counseling.

You Hardly Talk To Each Other

Effective communication is the secret to solving most problems in life. But if you and your spouse seem to be drifting away from talking to each other, there is something that is definitely not quite right. A marriage counselor can help you communicate effectively with each other, in some innovative ways. Crumble in communication levels between a couple is the first sign of trouble.

When You Talk, It Always Ends Up In Fight

There is always a negative communication. Whenever you two talk, it ends up in a bitter argument or a fight and you end up belittling each other. You ridicule each other or use harsh words and tones to prove your point. While some individuals withdraw from these conversations, some continue to harp on it for hours together. This can even translate into emotional abuse in your marriage.

You Fight For Money And Are Financially Incompatible

Some couples have dissatisfaction with money and finances. Sometimes it is about one partner making more money than the other or the other spending far too much on unnecessary things. Sometimes, one partner feels they do not have sufficient money and gets anxious. Sometimes, the fight is about sharing the expenses. In all these cases, a marriage counselor can help you resolve your concerns about finances and help you get ways to compromise your financial situations.

You Withdraw Love And Care As A Way To Punish

Well, this is actually the most used weapon. Some spouses opt to withdraw all love and care for their partner in an attempt to punish the other after an argument or a fight. They often resort to silent treatment and if you receive this, then it is time to look for help.

When Big Life Changes Happens

Whether it is parenthood, a change in job, moving to a new city, loss of a close family member or something else some disruption in your marriage and life is inevitable. You could be prudent to seek therapy while you go through these changes to cope effectively.

You Are Not On The Same Page On Intimacy And Sex

Sex creates the backbone of marriage. Having too little or excessive sex indicates there is a problem. Some women tend to avoid sex after an unpleasant argument, while some men indulge in too much of it after feeling guilty of some issue. Balanced sex life is a must for a happy marriage, and if that is not happening, you may seek marriage counseling.

You Keep Secrets

Couples who are transparent with each other have relatively better and happy marriages. Partners feel more secure in a relationship when they have the confidence that they know everything about their partner. The moment secrets start creeping in, insecurities start to brew. These minor insecurities sometimes add to big issues and destroy a marriage. A marriage counselor can help you seek changes, and prepare you better for the challenges ahead.

INDICATIONS YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS GOING DOWNHILL

Everything was perfect between you and your spouse after you tied in the knot. In fact, years after your wedding, you were enjoying each other’s company and exchanging pleasantries. You had every reason, to believe that your dream marriage is going to stay forever.

But now there is a twist in your story.

You both have all of a sudden started bickering over minor issues and a feeling of trifling between you two are growing at an alarming pace. The innocuous arguments that kept your love as an eternally burning flame until now, have turned into rounds of intermittent altercations. There was a period when you used to fall head over heels for each other, now you are finding it hard even to get along.

Is this what is reflecting your own life nowadays? Are you feeling a similar change of emotion and attitude for your partner?

Ups and downs are bound to happen in any relationship and the testing times like these give couples a chance to grow stronger. But it doesn’t necessarily occur all the time and therefore, one has to address the bothersome doubts and if possible, nip the issues in the bud.

In this article, Shivani Misri Sadhoo, Delhi’s top marriage counseling expert talks about indications your relationship is going downhill. Here they are.

Sudden Breakdown In Communication

The first calamity of any troubled relationship is the breakdown of communication. The breaking down of communication does not necessarily mean you have completely stopped talking. It essentially means the way of your communication has changed considerably. That is, now you are just speaking with each other inadequately not connecting to each other heart to heart. So, it is actually a bad sign when speaking to each other seems cursory. If the pattern of your communication persists the same way, it creates a distance and disconnection in your marital life. As a result, it makes you feel lesser affection and fondness for your partner. When communications get hampered in this way than the things that otherwise appear simple to talk about starts giving uncomfortable feelings now. If you are caught up in a similar scenario, just give your relationship the topmost priority rather than doing anything else.

Trust Is Fading Away

Trust is one of the most important factors of a relationship. If you are even remotely feeling the trust between you two is wearing away, it shows your relationship is going to get a jolt sooner or later. In general, the common worry linked with the lack of trust is that one partner thinks the other one might be doing something suspicious. This is a precarious situation that often leads to a lot of quarrels, which in turn results in all forms of accusations being thrown around. Such a situation will add another layer of the problem in your relationship because you or your spouse will start asking questions about something that may not be happening at all.

Arguments Over Same Things Keeps Happening

Disagreement with your partner over several issues is a common thing because that’s what individual opinions are all about and your marriage or relationship is no different. But when the ego gets bigger and then arguments happens even on pettiest of issues; then these are warning bells. It will then be just a matter of time when your arguments will turn into mudslinging, name-calling, or even cross the limits of respectful disagreements. If you let your arguments seriously up the ante like this and blame each another, you might end up damaging your relationship.

No More Excitement

There were days when you were so much into romance but now something is wrong, and you are confused where all the fun has gone. You loved to give and get surprises every now and then, you used to go for vacations, enjoying sex and you both were busy making memories for your lifetime. But the same excitement now does not exist. It is even impossible for you to go on a date. But there is always a possibility of something good may happen. If you are sure it’s the lack of fun and excitement that is harming your relationship, ensure to double it up now. Make every effort small or big to make your partner laugh and happy. Things will become smoother.

You Are No More Careful About Your Partner’s Views And Desires

Sometimes a complaint can turn into criticism and if it converts into a personality or character judgment, then the base of your marriage has started shaking up. If you are further putting each other down or continuously criticizing each other, you are no longer a good couple. The worse situation is if you do not respect your partner anymore, then it is highly unlikely that you will love your partner again. It is therefore vital to respect your partner’s views and desires to keep your relationship going.

TIPS TO AVOID THE 7-YEAR ITCH IN YOUR MARRIAGE

At some point in several long-term relationships, couples experience a rough patch, a time when they spar more than normal, feel bored and restless, and might even fantasize about being with someone else. This psychological term “7-year itch” became trendy in the 1950s when a movie by the same name handled the notion that many of you lose interest in your monogamous relationships after 7 years (though it is more popularly remembered as the movie where Marilyn Monroe posed over a subway grate while her white dress blew above her thighs).

If you or your spouse become inflicted with the 7-year itch, it does not mean automatic divorce.  On the contrary, it is completely normal.

In any venture boredom sets in overtime — this is due to the novel becomes the routine, after 7 years, many couples go through this period.  They find their partner irritating or boring and wonder if they’d be better off in a different relational state. But you don’t have to lose your sleep over it. In fact, consider it as a sign to improve your relationship. It’s quite easy to fix that feeling.

In this article, Delhi’s top Marriage Counsellor and Relationship Expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo share tips to avoid the 7-year itch in your marriage. Here they are:

Change The Way You Think About Love

Many people mistake love for a noun, whereas, in reality, it’s a verb, an action that’s dynamic, constantly inflow. It’s not a static thing. Think of love as water and your relationship as a long and winding river that makes it flow. Yes, there would be quiet pools and rocky patches, but that’s part of the adventurous journey. And adventure is a nice thing.

Sex Is Perhaps Going To Change

Everyone remembers the hot and passionate sex couples were having at the start of their relationship: At times the kind of sex that made you call in sick from work. You may still enjoy bouts of passionate sex, certainly, but you must know that your sex life will change because your bodies and libidos change as you grow further. Do not think your sex life needs to be that of a 25-year-old. As you age, your sex drives diminish. This is a function of your biology. Allow your sex life to change over time. If you expect it to remain the way it was, you’ll destroy its present and future expression.

Work On Yourself First

It is easy to blame your spouse when your relationship bores, irritates, or makes you upset, and to think things like this. If only he would do the dishes from time to time; if only he cared about holidays and so on.  But blaming your spouse, then trying to change them will only lead to acrimony and anger. These emotions damage relationships. The best remedy for an interesting relationship is to become an interesting person. What you can do runs the spectrum, from taking a new route to work, to reading books, to playing board games together rather than watching TV at night. After all, small steps lead to big shifts in personality and perception.

Experience Life Together

The ideal way to combat boredom in a relationship is to fill your life with wonderful adventures that you can look forward to as a couple,

If you have children, make it a point to (minimum twice a year) take a vacation from them. You can really appreciate each other when the children are not around. If you cannot take a vacation, have a relative or friend watch them for a weekend and opt for a ‘staycation.’ Do something physical together. Go hiking or for a run, exercise is an amazing bonding experience.

Communicate Often

If you want to avert bickering over nonsense, the best stuff you can do as a couple learns to communicate frequently and without restrictions. Talk frequently and honestly to each other about your problems, sex, anger, disappointment, and appreciation of each other. No topic should be avoided. Learn to listen and communicate rather than fighting. Fighting is childish, and you aspire for a grown-up relationship.

Get Handsy

Hugging and touching has long been proven to lower stress, strengthen the immune system, and release oxytocin, that helps people bond with each other. Thus, it’s no surprise that touching your partner on a regular basis can keep you more connected and in sync with each other’s physical and emotional needs.

Sit near your significant one, and gently place your hand on their shoulder, leg, or arm. If you are in the car, lightly touch his/her shoulder or arm. You’ll notice your conversation becomes warmer and more caring. If you have been struggling, or are ready to forgive each other, facing each other and holding both hands will help you feel more strongly connected and reassured.