Category Archive : Best marriage counselor in India

How to Deepen your Intimacy During Difficult Times

Difficult times may have different outcomes for your relationship. Either it can refine or break your relationship. This is why it is so important to stay connected. Through intentional action, it is possible to deepen your intimacy during tough times.

Counselor Shivani says, having difficult times in your relationship is inevitable. No relationship can claim that it never had any unpleasant phases or hardships. They are all part of a long relationship. Sometimes it comes and goes in phases.

Often couples either do not try or are completely not in a position where they can even think of getting intimate with their partner, specifically, when the times are so hard.

However, intimacy plays an important part in keeping the relationship alive and the same is needed during tough times too.

India’s eminent marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares how couples can deepen their intimacy during difficult times.

Here are some of the ways.

Listen to Each Other

Communication is crucial at all times in your relationship. But specifically, during difficult times, it becomes more important than ever before. As a couple, take some time to talk with and listen to each other.

Your conversations do not always have to revolve around the hard things that are happening. In fact, it is great if you intentionally discuss other, positive things apart from that situation. But this is a time to hear each one out and to help each other feel heard and seen.

Regularly Practice Optimism Together

If you are struggling, this is a good time to work together to practice optimism. Being optimistic could be a challenge, during those times, but if you hold one another accountable and approach this challenge as a unit it will be easier.

Optimism is a habit that has to be formed, so jump into the practice having that in mind. It does not mean you will never discuss or dwell on the difficult times, but it does mean you will be investing energy towards the good things, too.

Have Patience

Difficult times can profoundly affect your sense of wellbeing, and you may not feel like yourself when you are in the middle of a difficult time. You may also come across as aloof or distracted. If you see that your spouse seems down or simply not like themselves, be patient with them.

It is impossible to demand that all the things will be the same, every time, no matter what is happening in your world (or the exterior world at large). When hard times hit, be prepared to exercise patience through it all. It is not always easy, but it is worth it.

Do Not Miss the Fun

Does not matter what, work together to make and take time for play and fun. Shared activities are a must for every relationship, more so when you are going through a tough time. But beyond simply sharing interests or hobbies, look for fun, shared activities that can make you feel energized and joyful. Then, seek those out quite often.

Be Alone Together Quite Often, Whenever Possible

Intimacy needs a private or alone time to flourish, so make more of it, particularly if you are dealing with a difficult situation. Alone time opens doors of possibilities for better conversations, more physical contact, greater emotional closeness, and more shared tasks.

If you are experiencing a difficult phase in your life, focus on spending more alone time with your spouse. This time does not necessarily have to be sexual. Simply, be together as partners and companions.

Take Some Time for Physical Contact

A non-sexual touch is essential for boosting your intimacy. If you do not already take time to hold hands, cuddle, hug, physically comfort one another, and just be close, then now is a great time to do so. Simply giving the gift of your presence to your significant other can make a lasting difference in your marriage.

Make Time for Getting Physically Intimate

Mostly, couples either do not feel like it or completely ignore being physically intimate with each other during the tough phases. Getting physically intimate can be incredibly healing, and can assist to deepen a couple’s intimacy, even in the midst of turmoil. Taking the quiet time to connect on a physical, spiritual, and emotional level reinforces your love for each other and can reinvigorate both of you to face what lies ahead with each coming day.

Perk

Have you and your partner ever taken a relationship assessment? Relationship assessments may help you and your spouse learn more about each other than ever before. If you wish to get to know one another on a deeper level, you can connect with Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo to seek assistance with regard to your relationship.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxietydepressionsleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control the pandemic’s spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.


Keys to Rejuvenating Intimacy and Desire in a Long-Term Relationship

Being in love feels simply amazing. You constantly seek someone who can hold your hand forever. You constantly wait to have someone to spend the rest of your life with. And once you find the right person, or forever soulmate, you make promises of being forever and are willing to go beyond your limits to prove your love for the special one.

But, does love remain the same for the rest of life?

Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo says well, several couples face a decline in desire when they settle into a long-term relationship. And because of this, one might even think that time causes passion to disappear. As you grow old in life, you do less work on rejuvenating intimacy as your role in your lover’s and dear ones’ lives starts to change.

So, how to get back that intimacy in a marriage?

As per the study, the long-term relationship needs to be enhanced to improve the quality of the relationship and keep it happy, content, and healthy. So, read on this blog, by India’s top Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo to know how to increase intimacy and the secret to desire in a long-term relationship.

Reasons for Issues in Marriage Intimacy

Post being together in a relationship for a long time, couples begin to take each other for granted and think that their partner will always stay by them irrespective of what they do. This is when the lack of intimacy in marriage comes into the picture.

Life is all about ups and downs, and when you begin to desire more and more attention, you may give less attention to your partner. After a certain time, as you do not take any steps for rejuvenating intimacy, your partner seems to lack affection in marriage and begins to think that you no longer wish to keep the relationship going.

How to Form Emotional Intimacy in Marriage?

Look to bring back the satisfaction, joy, and excitement, and emotional intimacy in your marriage or relationship.

How to spice up your long-term relationship?

There are several things for you two to do for rejuvenating intimacy, says Shivani. Like go together for a romantic dinner or go for an intimate date. You can also opt for camping and get cut off from the rest of the world, and spend some time exploring each other again.

During this moment, forget all about the unpleasant and challenging tasks in life, such as your work, the expectations, in-laws, or the kids.

This must become one of your special moments in life to share nothing but happiness and contentment between you two. You do not really have to spend a fortune simply to impress your partner to improve or bolster intimacy in marriage. You need to simply create a moment of love to refresh your relationship.

Why is Rejuvenating Intimacy in a Marriage Required?

Intimacy issues in marriage over a certain period of time are normal. Post being with one another for a long time, living together will get dull and unattractive if neither of you is into doing something new to foster intimacy in marriage, every now and then.

There are several reasons why rejuvenating intimacy and refreshing the relationship is required. If you do not take steps to spice up your marital life, this could lead to a dull relationship. This may cause drift. Some reasons why you need to work on your relationship are:

·       Your special one feels unappreciated or unacknowledged

·       There is a constant lack of connection and responsiveness

·       Boredom has crept within marriage with the same routine, you both follow

·       Lack or absence of physical intimacy

·       Negativity in your relationship

·       Loss of complete self

When it comes to rejuvenating intimacy and making unexpected physical contact can bring a certain unexpected pleasure to your partner, and it does not necessarily have to be anything sexual at all.

All of a sudden, giving a hug out of the blue may also bring a surprised smile to your loved one’s face and plays a great role in rejuvenating intimacy. Give an effort to understand and accept how both of you feel, specifically with the wants, wishes, and desires that you two have.

Spend Some Time Together

Couple time in any relationship is absolutely essential. Over the period, individuals in a relationship tend to become isolated. Spouses seem to spend lesser leisure time with their loved ones as the time grows, leading to a change in the relationship quality.

Sit together and make a list of the things you two have been wishing to do. It could be anything, as long as both of you can love and enjoy it together. Do not hog the priority. Post doing what you want, do what your partner desires. In a manner, it would be sharing the joy and love you two have.

Just remember, what it was like to be in love when you two first began dating. You two were so much in love that you could ignore each other’s flaws and love each other without any reason and judgment. What was it about you, that your significant other found to be so loving and attractive?

At times the tunnel is quite long and a long-term relationship or marriage is not mandatorily a full-time honeymoon period. But all you have to do is to hold on and not give up.

Try to get back those things that you and your partner enjoyed the most doing together to rejuvenate the love lost in your relationship.

Always remain positive in your relationship no matter how difficult the situation gets. Make certain whatever decision you make is mutually beneficial. At the same moment, positivity in any relationship is essential, no matter how hard the situations are.

Couples who share the feeling of love and joy in their lives are the ones that would likely last and be happy all the way. Getting back to your loved one would help you experience that lasting happiness. However, always remember that your partner should be willing to get back into a relationship with you.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxietydepressionsleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-19 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.


Ways to Accept Change in your Relationship

As you see when the winters are about to end and summers are drawing closer that indicates a new season is about to begin. The advent of spring just before the summer brings with itself the leaves changing colors and flowers being bloomed. And all these changes bring a magnificent brilliance.

This change gives you the indication that it is part of life and often they bring with itself positive outcomes.

Similarly, change is definitely something that impacts how a couple relates to each other.

India’s Top Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo in this blog shares tips to help your relationship whether any changes may pop up along the way:

Understand that Changes will Occur

You begin your journey as a couple at one place in your lives and will hopefully continue together for the long. To do so, also, expect several twists and turns along the way, everyday stresses, big challenges, milestone events. In simple words, Life Change is always happening, so expect it will continue to show up in your relationship, as well. Embracing or accepting an open mindset that allows for change and being willing to adjust and adapt makes space for your relationship to evolve with it.

Accept that People Change, and that is Fine

For any given number of reasons, a person shifts, and changes. It is important to support who your partner is rather than hoping them to forever remain as you would like them to be. Appreciate and foster their unique, evolving needs and wishes. Sometimes, their changes are temporary (like in a demanding work situation) on other occasions, the shift could be permanent because of an urge to make a life transition. Irrespective of the cause, having your support will provide strength to the relationship.

Identify when Change Might Spell Trouble

At times when your partner acts strangely, or differently, it may mean something is bothering them. Not all individuals are able to easily express themselves verbally. If you observe over time that your partner is behaving in a manner that is out of the ordinary, show your concern in a caring manner. It is important that care and compassion be expressed so that the other partner feels safe enough to be honest if there is a crisis or a problem.

Let Change Happen for you

Even though one of the best things about being in a relationship is consistency. It has been seen that boredom can kill it. The remedy is to form novelty—change! But do not worry: If the two of you are not huge risk-takers, you do not have to go skydiving to achieve the target. By merely switching up the restaurant you visit or try a new activity together. Add some spice to your daily life.

Alter the Way you Handle Conflict

One of the major reasons couples get into conflicts is because they do the repeated “dance steps” every time, they keep repeating the same pattern of arguments over and over again. One of the finest ways to make a change is to step out from moments of conflict and see what patterns the two of you are repeating. Then re-create the situation to see where a shift in a separate direction could be possible. Being open to changing the patterns lets you have a different (and more loving) result.

Change is difficult for many people. However, when accepted, it can be quite empowering for your overall relationship.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home.

While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-19 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

Signs You and Your Partner Have Lost an Emotional Intimacy and Connection

Emotional intimacy is an art, but it eventually becomes a method of being in a relationship. It would be better to describe emotional intimacy as the experience of being emotionally connected and in sync with your partners. It involves a level of openness and vulnerability from both individuals and increases the overall sense of closeness you feel with your partner in daily life. Without emotional intimacy, it can be difficult for couples to weather the storms of life together.

Emotional intimacy is ultimately that glue which holds a relationship together, post the initial excitement fizzles. Couples who are emotionally intimate are able to overcome conflict more easily because they understand each one better and is able to communicate their feelings to each other. Fortunately, there are ways to form emotional intimacy if you haven’t quite tapped into it yet. Firstly, you need to check in on your relationship.

In this article top Marriage Counselor in India Shivani Misri Sadhoo talks about signs that your relationship perhaps lacks emotional intimacy and connection.

You Feel Awkwardly Distant

Without any emotional intimacy, your relationship may have a distance to it that you cannot quite pinpoint, almost as if your partner’s real feelings are always at arms’ length.

This is a sign of a lack of emotional intimacy if you might not know the reason, but you’re feeling distant and isolated from your partner, or perhaps you aren’t talking as much or spending as much time together. This distance in relationships can mostly signal a lack of emotional intimacy, and a need to nourish and nurture the emotional bond that fuels togetherness and connection. Try asking your partner a few questions about the relationship, and see how things head from there.

None of you Talk about your Emotions

A lack of transparency is another huge sign that you and your partner have not laid a solid foundation of emotional intimacy yet in your relationship. You have to be able to talk about your feelings and emotions with each other. These things are difficult to talk about because they require that you practice being vulnerable and transparent. But when feelings and emotions do not get talked about, they mostly come out in different and more problematic manner. This can lead to a habit of arguing over minor things or even stonewalling each other.

Lacking the security and confidence to share your feelings or being afraid that your partner will invalidate your feelings is a sign that your relationship is perhaps lacking emotional intimacy. So start out small, opening up to your partner about your daily anxieties, and see how your partner responds.

Perhaps One of You Shares Lot More than the Other

If one of the partners shares more than the other, it could be hard to notice that emotional intimacy is lacking. It may simply seem like someone’s a good listener. But it often means that there is an imbalance.

This might be a sign that a partner does not feel safe or comfortable expressing themselves openly in the relationship; conversely, it might also mean a partner is not creating space for their partner to be open and vulnerable with them. So, whether you realize that you are opening up more, or not quite sufficient, bring up this issue with your partner. It could be possible to resolve on its own.

You Do Not Touch Much Outside the Bedroom

When it is about the physical touch, there actually is a clear parallel between emotional and physical intimacy. It simply might not be in the ways you think. It is not a good sign if when you and your partner are alone there is a very small physical connection such as sitting close, holding hands, those small manners one expresses emotional intimacy.

Comfortable physical closeness needs a degree of emotional closeness. Thus, your physical distance might actually be symbolic. Emotional intimacy is the base for physical intimacy. When you are emotionally connected, you are physically connected and it makes your physical connection all the way better. This means that, if you realize you do not touch much, the solution is not to simply start holding hands and nothing else. Like all other areas of emotional intimacy, it is a sign that you perhaps need to open up more as a couple.

You Do Not Ask Each Other for Advice

In a relationship, both the partners must be able to support each other no matter what. Sadly, that’s difficult to accomplish if neither of you are really asking the other for help when you need it. No one’s life must be dictated by their partner, but your relationship must be a place you can go for guidance. It is a sign you do not have emotional intimacy if you do not ask for each other’s opinion or advice. This may indicate that you are not emotionally secure enough in your relationship to ask for each other’s help. So, assess whether the problem is on your end or theirs, and look to open up about it when you feel you can.

Emotional intimacy is a sign of a good relationship, but lacking it does not mean you, as a couple, are destined to doom. With a brief hard work, you and your partner can pinpoint the areas where you need help, and begin to fix things from there. Whether it means going on more dates, having some heart-to-hearts, or heading to couples counseling, there are methods to protect a good thing. If it is meant to be, it will surely work out.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxietydepressionsleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-19 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.


Relationship Issues Millennials Face and Ways to Deal with Them

Searching for a love partner and maintaining a relationship has always been difficult but it is a little trickier for millennials. Films such as Love Aaj Kal elaborates on the reality that how people love these days is quite different from that of the previous generations.

Relationship Expert Shivani says that life, in general, has changed immensely which has ultimately affected people’s lifestyles too. In this digital age, love tests are given on small screens and people’s affection is proved using social media posts. And it would not be wrong to say that millennials look to date differently compared to their parents and other generations.

In a world where dating is as simple as a left or right swipe, one cannot deny that dating and relationships have completely changed in today’s time. Although every generation has its fair share of issues, some dating issues are specific to millennials which is partly because of the technology boom.

In this article, India’s eminent Marriage Counselor and Relationship Expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo talks about some of the common relationship problems faced by millennials and ways to deal with them.

Over or Under Sharing on Social Media

Some individuals prefer to share lovey-dovey photographs and posts on social media, others hate it. There is always feasibility of couples getting into arguments or fights because of over or under-sharing on social media. The simplest way to deal with this is that couples should sit and talk and decide what to share and how much to share on social media.

Jealousy Regarding an Act Done on Social Media

Social media activities can probably have bigger consequences in relationships. Finding that your partner has liked a swimsuit or shirtless photo could be disturbing and it can lead to fights. In that scenario, you should always remember that jealousy never serves a productive purpose. And, it is essential not to read too much into your partner’s actions when it comes to social media.

Stress and Depression

Various reports have shown that millennials tend to be more anxious and depressed and they struggle with more mental issues compared to their previous generations, which is partly because of the fast-paced life powered by technology. A stressed or depressed partner can impact a relationship. The ideal method to deal with this is to focus on your partner’s mental health and try out meditation and other remedies or even consulting a counselor if it is the need of the hour to deal with it.

Phubbing

Phubbing is usually when a person ignores his/her partner by repeatedly being on their phones. Believe it or not, some people tend to get lost in their phones more than their partner on dates. This can make your partner feel left out, unwanted, or ignored. Phubbing often acts as a trigger that causes a fight between couples. To avoid this, make a no-phone rule for dates.

Constant Urge for Attention

Nowadays people do not need to wait for days for a letter. A text can be delivered instantly. Because of which people may need constant attention and this could lead to possible conflicts. It is important to give each space and time to each other. And it is of utmost importance to understand when your partner is busy and needs space for their work.

Commitment Concerns

Millennials have more share of problems settling in than the past generations. As there are several choices and a fake sense of perfection, people can easily have commitment and trust issues. For this, one needs to change the way they perceive things and act on a bond that is both strong and sturdy and leads to longevity.

Distractions

In the technology-laden generation, a person is surrounded by distractions all the time. Continuous notifications, social media interactions, a range of gaming options, and plenty of others. Modern life is simply so busy and full of distractions. It means that an individual is unable to dedicate time and effort to a relationship which is a necessity. One method to deal with this is to plan things together that you can do as a couple and do activities that you both like to do together.

Misunderstandings

Misunderstandings have often been part of any relationship. But the problem is nowadays, people mostly either text or send a DM. And to understand a partner’s emotion with just a few word-based texts is obviously harder if not impossible. Because of this, many misunderstandings crop up between couples. The only solution to avoid this is proper communication.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-10 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

Signs You Are in a Relationship Which is Based on Inequality

If you love English Songs, then there is a possibility that you may have heard the song “Issues” by Julia Michael. The lines say I’m jealous, I’m overzealous. When I m down, I get really down.

The song may be quite popular, but one thing that song describes a relationship that is solely dependent on power, and control rather than equality and respect.

But what is the meaning to have an equal relationship? Counselor Shivani says equality in a relationship means that each partner’s interests and desires are respected and met to a reasonable degree as opposed to simply one partner’s needs dominating the relationship. Inequality in a relationship points to an imbalance of power between partners. In an unhealthy relationship one partner practices power and control over the other. If your partner’s needs dominate the relationship without any consideration for your own then that relationship is unequal.

Sounds easy enough. Still, some of the most common relationship issues stem from inequality within the relationship. Think about it. Do you always have to do the house chores? Are you supposed to pay for every meal in order to earn your partner’s affection? If unintentional, these behaviors do not strictly mean your partner is abusive, it simply means your relationship is unequal. Left unchecked, inequality in a relationship can make way to resentment and other controlling tactics over a period of time.

To make certain no one gets the short end of the stick, in this blog Top Delhi based Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo put together a list of relationship red flags that will assist you to determine whether your special one is giving (or not getting) their fair share in the relationship.

They Make All the Decisions

We are all for asserting your needs in a relationship since in some cases, like when you are feeling sick, your needs must come first. However, you likely will not be the only one deciding where you and your loved one will go out for dinner every week. Healthy relationships are formed on mutual respect and working toward the needs of both partners. If you are not certain whether you are dominating the decision making in your relationship, ask yourself the following questions:

·       Do I/ (does my partner) always decide what we will do during the weekend?

·       Do I/ (does my partner) decide which friends we will hang out with and not give a second thought to my (their) preferences?

·       Do I/ (does my partner) always decide when physical pleasure happens?

·       Do I/ (does my partner) decide who will do the home-based chores?

If you said yes to the questions, then it could be time to begin a conversation with your partner about the inequality in your relationship. A good way to teach yourself or your partner to split the decision-making in your relationship is with a D.I.Y. assignment. D.I.Y. projects can become a top exercise in compromise if you and your partner approach the project mindfully. Not only do you get to learn more about your significant other in a relaxed manner but you can make it an attempt to make decisions together.

One of the Partner is Expected to Every Time

In an equal relationship, both partners must be willing to split or alternate the cost of an outing or dates. It’s completely fine if one partner insists on paying for the majority of the things, however, they must not feel that this is to be expected of them in an attempt to earn your affection. If your partner is uncomfortable paying for every outing and you continue to expect them too then it is time for you to re-assess your behavior.

One of the Partner Always Refuses to Compromise When You Disagree

It’s completely acceptable to disagree at times and is not automatically a sign that you are not right for each other. The critical thing here is to work towards a solution that is acceptable to both partners. To do it, each partner needs to be willing to make compromises, rather than competing with the other partner’s needs. There will be moments that you both have to agree to disagree. Making some compromises and knowing that it is fine to disagree (respectfully), will contribute to a more balanced relationship where both partners are at ease. The next time you and your partner disagree and your partner refuses for any compromise, let them know how it makes you feel. The main thing is no one’s opinion is more essential than the other and if your partner continues this unhealthy pattern, it may be time to think of leaving the relationship.

One Partner Always Has the Last Word

In an equal relationship, when conflict happens each partner must feel the freedom to express themselves without feeling afraid or dominated by the other. Rather than shutting your partner down when they are voicing their opinion, take it as an opportunity to get to know your partner better. The aim is not to win an argument, but to gain a mutual understanding of the problem you are both facing. And if you believe that you cannot disagree with your partner without facing severe criticism or fear of being met with an angry outcome then it might be time to walk away from the relationship.

Healthy Relationship is Deserved by Everyone

Equality never means uniformity, rather it means that you both provide each other the freedom to be who you are, while you grow together. Ultimately, you and your significant other will have to define what “equality” will appear like for your relationship.  So, it is essential that each of you feel the freedom to communicate daily about the balance in your relationship.  Understanding the difference between a relationship formed on mutual respect vs control, and learning more about how to form equality in a relationship will assist you and your partner build a healthier relationship together.  And, if you feel that your partner has got some “issues”, it is best you let them know about those. After all, you deserve to be in a healthy relationship that lets you express yourself freely.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-19 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.


Six Ways for Couples to Stay Connected After Having a Baby

The excitement of a newborn’s arrival can also have unforeseen consequences for a couple. As well as paying attention entirely to their little bundle of joy, let us not forget about sleepless nights, endless chores, and upheaval of grand proportions. A longer Sunday morning sleep-in or impromptu date night out as a couple? Forget those.

Counselor Shivani says it is hardly surprising several couples site, the months after their newborn’s arrival as when disharmony sets in. Take for example a working couple, until their baby arrived, they juggled successful careers with a lively social life. Six to seven months after the baby’s birth the wife complains they spent more time arguing over who does what than enjoying each other’s company nowadays. She no longer felt like a wife and partner but a toiler.

If it rings a bell it does not have to be in this manner. You can enjoy your baby and a good relationship at the same time too. Equip yourself with awareness besides these six simple ways shared in this blog by Delhi’s eminent Marriage Counselor and Couples Therapist Shivani Misri Sadhoo that talks exclusively to survive the days and stay connected with your special one post when your baby is born.

Teamwork is the Mantra

Being good and ideal parents to your baby are the most vital job you will ever do. However, you will do it well, as a team; it is time to agree to end pulling apart. Sit down and discuss what each of you does best when it comes to all the demands you have now. The idea is to be super-positive with each other related to the jobs you each do well.

Resist begrudging your spouse praise for what they have a natural ability for such as he has a knack for putting the baby down.

Be generous with appreciation and compliments and tell your loved one how much you value their efforts.

With both of you knowing what is expected and helping each other, it will form a team spirit.

Avoid Baby Talk

It is very important to establish a time for you solely as a couple. Several couples become so baby-centric that they start to lose some of their relationships. Even if the only time you have is sharing a meal together, completely ban or avoid talking about your baby during this time. If the baby has been unwell you need to inform your partner, and they will want to listen to any little baby news. But once you have had a bit of baby talk it must be about you and grown-up things.

Ask each other how you are and discuss how your partner’s day was. Talk about both your interests like the book you have bought, saving for a vacation, that concert evening you would like to go to and so on that excites you as a couple.

Couple’s Play

Simply as you have playtime with your baby where you shake or move their toy in front of them or show them some musical toys, simply you too as a couple need to get out and play.  Even when you can only get child care once every couple of weeks or month, do it.

Early on it is good to get your baby accustomed to being left with someone familiar or trusted. If you can leave the baby with the grandparents. This is your time to relax without worrying about the baby is going to interrupt your dinner or movie. The golden rule is to do what you both want to, so if you are too tired to go out then have a candlelight dinner at home or watch a movie together.  It is entirely about your uninterrupted time together.

Alter Your Expectations

Pre-baby days you may have fantasized you would be as happy as you can, keep a beautiful home and have some physical intimacy thrown during every weekend. When reality sets in certain parents hang on to those unrealistic expectations. Re-analyze things and prioritize. If it allows you more time together and more fun playtime with the baby do not worry about things being less tidy.

Ask and You May Get

With complete good intentions mother and father can sometimes slip up or be thoughtless without being too. He does not compliment you when you have finally got a new hairstyle, he brings over an office friend without notice or so on. Such things could be the last straw when you have been up with the baby the entire night.

This is simply about asking. Ask your partner to let you know beforehand whenever possible if they want to bring someone back. Ask your partner how your hair seems. Never keep silent and stew over these things when you have so much on your platter as a young couple and family.

Affection, Show it More

It is very critical to keep affection going post-birth even if full physical intimacy is off the menu for a time. Oxytocin, a bonding hormone is released through cuddle, kissing, hand holding and hugs too.

When you stop being physically in contact as you feel so tired and frustrated it can be difficult to regenerate; in simple words, ‘use it or lose it’.

Some women can get ‘cuddle-fatigue’ post-birth having nursed, cuddled, and carried around their baby the entire day. If your partner looks over-keen for cuddles let them know that a little could go a long way. When it comes to enjoying complete physical intimacy again take it slowly and make sure there has been some romance first.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-19 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.


Your Love Language, How You Can Express Affection?

One of the major reasons that couples come to counseling is either one or both partners feeling unloved.

Marriage Counselor Shivani says lots of people, specifically those who have been with their partners for a long time and have been doing things the similar way for a while coming for help as they feel their partner never expresses love, appreciation, or affection and, as a result, they do not feel wanted or cared for.

But mostly, the problem is quite much to do with how affection is being expressed as anything else.

Everyone has a different method of showing someone that he/she cares about them. This may be called your ‘love language.

This blog by India’s top Marriage Counselor and Relationship Expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares how you can express affection to your special one.

The Common 5 Love Languages

Counselor Shivani says the main ‘love languages’ people often use are:

  • Giving Gifts. This may include buying even flowers or chocolates. Physical items intended to please your partner and show you have been thinking about them.
  • Carrying Out Kind Acts. This might be something such as cleaning the home for your partner or picking up the shopping. Small (or big!) gestures to make your partner happy.
  • Spending Quality Time Together. This may be putting aside a full evening to spend in each other’s company so you can actually reconnect.
  • Physical Touch. This might be walking or sitting alone holding hands, giving hugs, receiving a neck or shoulder massage. Sensual gestures to make your partner feel physically closer together.
  • Saying Good Things to Each Other. This may include paying compliments such as your hair looks nice’, ‘I really like you in that dress’, ‘you are a really very talented or simple affirmation of how you feel about each other. 

Majorly people have just one or two mains ‘love languages’ that they usually speak – through which they express affection and that they mostly appreciate and understand when ‘spoken’ to them.

So, if someone feels that spending quality time with each other is the most natural way of expressing and forming affection may really appreciate it if their partner plans aside an evening for them to go on a date or have dinner. Or somebody who feels close to their partner when being touched physically may really enjoy a light massage at home.

Likewise, one usually has one or two methods of expressing the affection that does not mean all that much to you – probably receiving gifts does not really do it for you, or you can go a little extra without dedicated quality time. 

Where Do You Learn Your ‘Love Language’?

How one expresses affection is mostly hugely influenced by what you learnt growing up. If your family liked spending plenty of quality time together, for example, you may value the same things in your partner. If there was an embarrassment at expressing feelings verbally or physically, this could continue into adulthood. But there are no real hard and fast formulas or rules, you may make a choice to do things differently in your adult relationships. In the end, you express affection the way you do because that is what makes the most sense to you.

When You Speak Different Languages

If you and your significant other are speaking different ‘love languages’ without realizing it, that is when there can be room for miscommunication besides dissatisfaction.

You may both end up feeling like the other one doesn’t say or do anything to show they truly care and may end up thinking whether they care at all.

For example, if someone really values kind acts, but their partner’s methods of expressing love are, say, buying gifts, they might feel like they are not having their needs or desires met. Similarly, their partner could feel the bunch of flowers they bought was a really nice gesture of showing they care, but was put out by their spouse’s underwhelmed reaction.

Over time, this sort of miscommunication may really drive a wedge in a relationship. Both partners may begin to feel they are doing all they can, but that it is still not sufficient to make each other happy and content. As a result, they can begin to feel bitter and resentful.  

How Can You Address This?

For a relationship to be healthy you both the partners need to understand each other’s needs.  

You and your partner probably need to explore how you both feel most comfortable expressing and receiving affection. If you think you may find this conversation difficult, you may like to think about the following:

  • Give It Time and Space. Never try to talk when one of you is busy, exhausted, or getting ready to go out. Set aside a time when you will be able to talk uninterrupted. It can also be a wise idea to choose nice, comfortable surroundings, in the living room with a cup of tea, for example.
  • Focus on Feelings. You probably like to use lots of ‘I’ while you speak ‘I sometimes feel’, ‘I do not always know how to” instead of ‘you’ language: ‘You mostly make me feel’, ‘You never seem to”. That way, you are taking responsibility for your emotions and your significant other is less likely to feel like they are being blamed for things.
  • Start on a Positive. At times, it can help to start by focussing on what you like about the relationship: ‘I love that we can rely on each other for the big stuff, but I was thinking we could talk about some day-to-day stuff. This can get things off to a more positive beginning and help your partner understand you are not simply trying to get at them.

For plenty of couples, discovering that they and their spouse are speaking different love languages is a real lightbulb moment. They could have been feeling poles apart, but suddenly realize they do love each other. It is just that the messages have not been getting through.

How We Can Help

If you think you and your partner could do with seeking help, talking about any of the above, Relationship Counselling at Saarthi Counselling Services can be a great way for having conversations that you may otherwise find difficult.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-19 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

Is Your Partner or You an Over- Communicator? Things You Need to Consider Says Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo

Anything in excess or over is always harmful. As a relationship counselor and couples therapist, one works with their clients on improving their communication. Sometimes it has been found that one or both partners get into patterns of over-communicating, where they are sharing their entire feelings and thoughts about themselves and their partner. Telling your spouse everything you think, feel, and need is not necessarily a healthy communication form. Your partner might feel unable to meet your demands and it could seem to them that you are making them accountable for your own reactions and behavior. You could feel like you are having the same conversations, going over similar arguments with no resolution. Your partner might get emotionally drained by all your communication and begin to withdraw or go silent. This might leave you feeling ignored or rejected, and as a result, you may chase your partner even more vigorously with your communication, which makes things worse.

In this blog, Delhi’s top marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo says if you are an over-communicator, what can you do to get your needs fulfilled and to improve the bonding with your partner?

Look Within Yourself

It is impossible for any relationship to fulfill all your needs. Getting clear on what you require and what you feel is missing for you is an ideal place to start. Is it about emotional support, financial security, excitement, and stimulation? It is really up to you to take responsibility for your own needs and your partner is there to help you in that process.

Be Respectful

Are you truly communicating in a way that is respectful to your partner? Being respectful of their time and their own needs and feelings, just as you would with a colleague or friend, creates mutual respect. Getting into an emotional list of demands as soon as your partner walks through the door or late at night when they are trying to go to bed, does neither you nor your partner show any courtesy. Selecting a time and a place that suits you both is what is required to set-up effective communication and a happier and stronger relationship.

Controlling Anxiety

If one is anxious, he/she may try to feel better by sharing all their feelings and over-communicating. This can be anxiety-provoking for your spouse and consequently, they might shut down or withdraw. This can then create the pattern of you over-communicating and your partner withdrawing. Learning to manage or control your anxiety is an essential skill in relationships and can decrease this pursuit-avoidance communication pattern.

Calm Down and Reflect

When talking is not solving the problem, be ready to walk away for the moment and take some time out to calm down and reflect. When you are running high on adrenalin, it is difficult to see a solution to the problem. Taking some time for yourself can help you in thinking about the issue in a separate way and looking at what you are responsible for. What is your part in making this problem? Stop focusing on your partner and what you think they are doing incorrectly and start looking at the patterns in your own behavior. This is where change starts.

Communication issues do not need to damage your relationship. Working with a professional counselor at Saarthi Counseling Services can support you to form a positive communication style, where both partners feel heard, validated, and valued. Contact marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo now to start communicating in an effective and positive way for both you and your partner. Let’s talk before it’s too late.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-19 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.


Reasons Why Listening Boosts Relationships

If you are not driving, you are sleeping, and if you are at work you are texting, writing e-mails and talking, but rarely listening, means actually, listening.

Listening seems to be a declining skill because listening means absolute listening and nothing else Not thinking of tomorrow’s activity, the “To Do” list and the growing message inbox.

Relationship Experts Shivani says listening is such a passive act that several of you simply do not do it.

Some studies have indicated that one typically remembers merely 25 to 30% of what one hears. However, ‘Active Listening’ can enhance that figure enormously. One of the methods to use ‘Active Listening’ is to remember the mostly-used expression that “eyes and ears must be used in the same proportion they have been allocated to you.”

In today’s digital world one seems to be constantly playing catch up with voice calls, e-mails, meetings, and ever-expanding tight deadlines. As a result, one seems to be “broadcasting” all the time but quite rarely listening to what is essential.

The kids tend to watch television whilst texting their friends and doing homework. How do they do that? Actually, the answer is that they cannot do all those things well at the same time.

So, is it that essential? Yes, it is. If one doesn’t truly listen one does not get the actual message being communicated. If one doesn’t get the real message then one can’t act appropriately.

If you really want to boost relationships and grow your business then you have to work towards good listening. Here are some of the reasons shared by Delhi’s top marriage counselor and relationship expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo why listening boosts relationships.

You Can Gain Information

If you listen, truly listen; you can learn things about the person, be it your spouse, kids or colleague, their aspirations, their fears, their work, and what you may be able to help them with.

There is so much of the spoken meanings are hidden in inflection, tone, and expression, so listening is critical for understanding and gaining information. And as you all know, information is power. It lets you fashion the necessary responses and strategy to assist the person to whom you are listening.

Increases Your Accuracy

When you listen genuinely, you have a better recollection of vital facts and issues.

This can result in fewer miscommunications and errors and makes you more efficient and have more value in your relationships both personal and professional ones.

You Build Trust

When you give your entire attention to the persons expressing thoughts and experiences that are essential to them, they are possibly to see you as a person who really thinks and cares about them.

When you are obviously paying attention to that person and you refrain from interjecting opinions, judgments, and advice, or finishing their sentences, you are seen as someone who cares and can be truly trusted with their information and confidence. This develops trust and later on bonding.

You Form A Relationship

When you listen properly to the other individual’s point of view a real conversation can arise. A meaningful and informed conversation can take place rather than sound bites being chosen and conclusions jumped too. When this genuine interaction takes place, you naturally form a relationship.

The biggest problem in today’s hectic world is that one does not often bother to listen to things carefully, as a result, more friction takes place. Because others perceive that you do not have time for them. This is often the beginning of a collapsing relationship. So, when you are in conversation, let’s be certain to do everything you can to make sure you are being an Active Listener.

It is active listening which leads to solid relationships and relationships are built through several human attributes. At the base of these attributes is LISTENING.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-19 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.