Marriage Counsellor and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

Marriage counselling is a powerful tool that helps couples navigate challenges, rebuild trust, and rediscover emotional intimacy. However, it’s natural for couples to wonder if therapy is genuinely making a difference, especially when progress feels slow or subtle. The journey to a healthier relationship is rarely linear, but certain signs indicate that your sessions are moving in the right direction. In this article, we’ll explore what marriage counselling is and highlight the positive signs that suggest your therapy is working, says Shivani Misri Sadhoo, who is India’s leading Gottman Certified marriage counsellor.

What Is Marriage Counselling?

Marriage counselling, also known as couples therapy, is a form of psychotherapy that helps partners resolve conflicts, improve communication, and strengthen their emotional bond. Conducted by trained professionals—often licensed therapists or counsellors—these sessions offer a safe space for couples to express concerns, understand each other’s perspectives, and work towards shared goals.

Therapists may use various approaches like the Gottman Method, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), or Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), depending on the couple’s unique issues and personalities. Whether you’re dealing with communication breakdowns, infidelity, parenting disagreements, or emotional distance, marriage counselling provides structured support to heal and grow together. Some of the signs that show your marriage counselling is working are explained by marriage counsellor Shivani Sadhoo.

Signs That Your Marriage Counselling Is Working

Improved Communication – One of the first signs of progress is the ability to talk more openly and respectfully. If you and your partner are starting to express your thoughts and emotions without yelling, blaming, or shutting down, it’s a strong indicator that therapy is helping. Effective communication lays the foundation for resolving deeper issues.

Increased Emotional Awareness – Therapy encourages self-reflection. As counselling progresses, both partners often begin to better understand their own emotional triggers and needs. You may find yourself saying, “I didn’t realise I felt that way,” or recognising how past experiences affect your reactions. This awareness creates space for empathy and growth.

Decreased Conflict or Healthier Conflict Resolution – Arguments may not disappear entirely, but you’ll likely notice a shift in how conflicts unfold. Fights become less frequent or intense, and you both begin to resolve disagreements more constructively. You’re no longer trying to “win” arguments, but instead working toward mutual understanding.

A Renewed Sense of Teamwork – Healthy marriages function as partnerships. If you and your spouse start referring to problems as “ours” instead of pointing fingers, it’s a sign you’re developing a collaborative mindset. Counselling often helps couples move from a “me vs. you” attitude to a “we’re in this together” approach.

Increased Affection and Intimacy – As emotional barriers dissolve, affection often returns. You might notice more hand-holding, hugging, or simply enjoying each other’s company again. Rekindling physical and emotional intimacy is a major sign that healing is underway.

Willingness to Change – Another strong signal that therapy is working is when both partners show a genuine willingness to change their behaviour. Whether it’s being more patient, setting healthy boundaries, or managing stress better, real change indicates commitment to growth.

A Safe Space Is Being Established – When both individuals feel safe to be vulnerable in and outside therapy sessions, it shows trust is being rebuilt. A safe emotional space is essential for long-term connection and healing.

Therapy Feels Less Forced – In the beginning, couples may attend sessions out of obligation or desperation. Over time, therapy may begin to feel like a helpful, even welcomed, space. You might look forward to sessions, not just to “fix” problems but to understand each other better.

Clarity About the Relationship’s Future – Even if couples ultimately decide to separate, therapy can still be considered successful if it helps them make that decision with clarity, mutual respect, and emotional closure. However, in most cases, couples find renewed clarity in staying together with realistic expectations and shared goals.

Marriage counselling is not a magic wand—it requires effort, honesty, and time. But when it works, the results are transformative. If you notice better communication, emotional safety, greater intimacy, and a shared commitment to change, these are all strong signs your therapy is making a difference. Stay patient, trust the process, and remember that the journey to a healthier relationship begins with small, consistent steps in the right direction.

When relationships start feeling rocky, a lot of people begin searching for professional help. That’s usually when terms like couples therapy and marriage counselling start popping up. At first glance, they seem like the same thing, right? After all, both involve two people sitting down with a professional to talk through their relationship issues.

But here’s the thing—while the two are definitely similar, they’re not quite the same. And the confusion is completely understandable. Even therapists sometimes use the terms interchangeably. But suppose you’re thinking about seeking help. In that case, it’s worth knowing what sets them apart—because the right kind of support can make all the difference, says one of India’s top Gottman-certified couples therapists, Shivani Misri Sadhoo. First, let us clear up the fundamentals.

What is Marriage Counselling?

Marriage counselling is typically designed for married couples or partners in long-term committed relationships, who are dealing with specific, current problems. This could be anything from frequent arguments and lack of communication to disagreements about parenting, finances, or even emotional distance. The idea here is to help couples navigate through rough patches and find better ways to connect.

Think of it like a relationship first-aid. It’s often short-term and focused on resolving a particular issue. A marriage counsellor usually helps both partners improve communication, understand each other better, and rebuild trust. The overall goal is to restore balance and strengthen the relationship so that it can move forward in a healthier way.

What is Couples Therapy?

Couples therapy, on the other hand, goes much deeper. It’s not just about solving a problem—it’s about understanding why that problem exists in the first place. This kind of therapy explores the emotional and psychological patterns that are playing out in the relationship. Sometimes that means revisiting past experiences, personal traumas, or long-standing habits that keep showing up in conflicts.

Couples therapy is usually a longer process and tends to be more intensive. It’s ideal for couples dealing with chronic conflict, emotional disconnection, or those who feel stuck and unsure about the future of their relationship. A couples therapist helps partners dig into their emotional world and figure out not just what’s going wrong—but why.

What is the difference between couples therapy and marriage counselling?

The biggest difference between marriage counselling and couples therapy lies in their focus. Marriage counselling is more about present-day problems and practical solutions—it helps couples communicate better, handle conflict, and find common ground. Couples therapy, meanwhile, focuses on the emotional and psychological layers of the relationship. It aims to uncover deep-rooted patterns that often go unnoticed but continue to affect the way partners relate to each other.

In terms of duration, marriage counselling is usually short-term and goal-oriented, perfect for couples looking to fix a specific issue. Couples therapy is more of a long-term process that requires patience and self-reflection.

The approach is different too. Marriage counselling is often solution-focused and includes tools or techniques to improve communication. Couples therapy leans more toward emotional healing, helping both individuals understand their own feelings and how those feelings shape the relationship dynamic.

Marriage counselling is best suited for couples who are committed and facing challenges they want to overcome together. Couples therapy is ideal for those in more serious distress, where the issues run deeper, and the emotional connection needs rebuilding.

In the End, It is About What You Need

Both marriage counselling and couples therapy can be incredibly helpful, but they serve different purposes. If your relationship is facing a specific hurdle and you’re both ready to work through it, marriage counselling might be the way to go. But if things feel heavier, more emotionally complex, or you’re struggling to even communicate, couples therapy might offer the deeper support you need.

No matter which path you choose, reaching out for help is a sign of strength, not failure. Relationships aren’t always easy, but the right kind of support can bring clarity, healing, and a whole new way of understanding each other.

Decodes Relationship Expert Shivani Sadhoo

If you thought that simply finding the perfect partner guarantees a happily ever after, think again. Love alone doesn’t shield us from moments of unhappiness or regret in marriage. As time passes, these moments can linger, potentially leading to the painful decision of separation or divorce. But what if I told you there’s a crucial factor that could significantly reduce the risk of divorce? According to relationship gurus and psychologists, timing matters just as much as compatibility—if you’re eyeing a divorce-free future, marry at the right age. Yes! Age matters!

Let’s find out more about this from India’s leading marriage counsellor and relationship expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo. Getting married too young can lead to divorce. But waiting too long, which isn’t as long as you might think, can also cause problems.

Why you shouldn’t marry in your teens or early 20s?

Scientifically speaking, the human brain isn’t fully developed until the mid-20s. So, you’re still figuring out a lot about yourself and what matters to you. The risks associated with early marriage are:

• Young people lack the experience and maturity to understand themselves and their goals in life. So, they rush into a relationship only to end up marrying the wrong person. This leads to a painful divorce.
• Early marriage often means starting a family sooner, which can pose financial challenges as young couples may not have stable careers or sufficient income to support themselves and any potential children.
• Marrying early can interrupt educational pursuits, limiting career opportunities and economic stability in the long run.
• Young couples may have unrealistic expectations about marriage and their partner, which can lead to disappointment and conflict when reality does not meet their expectations.

Why you shouldn’t wait too long to get married?

Studies reveal that marrying after 32 increases your risk of divorce approximately by 5% every year. The reasons could be:

• Baggage from Past Relationships: You might still have emotional stuff from previous relationships.
• Complex Family Situations: You might have kids from previous relationships, making things more complicated.
• Money Matters: Managing finances can be more challenging with established careers and responsibilities.
• Career Stress: Jobs can demand a lot of time and energy, which might strain your relationship.
• Midlife Crises: In your late 30s or 40s, you might start questioning your life choices, which can affect your marriage.
• Changing Priorities: As you get older, what you want from life might change, causing conflicts with your partner.
• Kids Leaving Home: When your kids grow up and move out, you might realize issues in your marriage that were hidden before.
• Trouble Communicating: Over time, it might become harder to talk openly with your partner, leading to misunderstandings.
• Cheating: Though it can happen at any age, affairs might be more common in your 40s, hurting your marriage.

What’s the right age to marry?

Studies reveal that getting married between the ages of 28 and 32 is linked with a lower chance of splitting up within the next five years. This age range seems to be just right for a few reasons.

• Maturity: People in this group tend to be more grown-up and less carried away by emotions. They’ve been through enough life experiences to handle tough situations better.
• Not so rigid: At the same time, they’re not too stuck in their own habits to compromise.
• Financial Stability: They often have enough money and stability to handle marriage without extra complications like ex-partners or kids from previous relationships.

So, all in all, this age range brings a good balance of maturity, flexibility, and financial security to make marriage more likely to last.

We must remember that there is no one-size-fits-all formula for marriage. While statistics suggest an optimal age range for tying the knot, individual circumstances, readiness, and compatibility remain crucial in ensuring a lasting and fulfilling

Dating an independent woman can be an enriching experience, but it also comes with its own set of nuances. So, what exactly do independent women want from men in relationships?

First and foremost, it’s essential to understand who an independent woman is. She’s not just someone who pays her bills or pursues her career goals. An independent woman knows herself deeply, speaks her mind with clarity, and lives authentically according to her values. She doesn’t seek validation or fulfilment from others; instead, she finds it within herself.

What are the things independent women want from men?

Let us learn from leading marriage and relationship counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo in this blog.

Respect

Independent women seek partners who not only recognize but celebrate their autonomy. A secure man values her self-reliance, encouraging her aspirations and respecting her need for space. He engages in constructive dialogue, cherishes her uniqueness, and supports her goals.

Moreover, he values her physical boundaries and emotional well-being, recognizing that true allure lies in his ability to comprehend and connect with her as an individual while acknowledging the unity within their shared journey.

Equality in relationships

An independent woman looks for a partner who is her equal, not her competitor. She believes in sharing responsibilities, making decisions together, and working as a team to build a life. This means both partners pitch in and share the load, creating a balanced and satisfying dynamic.

Equality isn’t just about the basics; it’s about fairness, talking openly, and understanding each other. It’s about seeing and respecting each other’s differences and treating each other’s opinions and contributions with value, regardless of what society says.

Honest communication

Good communication is vital for a healthy relationship. Independent women appreciate partners who are upfront and willing to have deep conversations. She values openness and honesty, so it’s important to be direct and assertive like her.

Don’t shy away from expressing your thoughts and feelings. She wants her partner to be transparent and vulnerable too, as this builds intimacy and strengthens the relationship. So, keep the dialogue open and honest for a deeper connection that grows stronger over time.

Emotional connection

Sometimes, grasping the unspoken nuances becomes crucial. An empowered and self-reliant woman places great value on emotional availability in a relationship. Recognizing the significance of emotional intimacy, she seeks a connection that goes beyond shared interests and physical attraction. Fearless in embracing vulnerability, she desires a partner who shares this openness.

For her, a relationship is a comprehensive bond that involves mutual support and understanding. Even the most self-sufficient woman may, at times, yearn to be vulnerable, allowing her partner to be the pillar of strength.

They want their partners to follow their own dreams too

Independent women seek partners who are strong and self-sufficient. They are drawn to individuals who can handle their own lives without constant support. These women value ambition and expect their partners to have their own aspirations.

Being with someone who is driven not only adds excitement to the relationship but also fosters personal growth and independence. Such partnerships propel both parties toward their dreams and create a supportive environment for mutual success.

Looks for unconditional love

An independent woman values her needs in a relationship. Despite her strength, she desires love, care, and consideration. Like anyone, she seeks a partner who embraces her flaws, celebrates her uniqueness, and stands by her through life’s challenges. Recognize her feelings, be there for her, and show unconditional love for a flourishing relationship.

Now that we’ve explored what independent women expect from their partners—respect, equality, honest communication, emotional connection, and shared dreams—it’s evident that they seek relationships built on mutual understanding and support. These expectations foster strong bonds where both individuals thrive personally and collectively, embracing each other’s autonomy and aspirations.