Category Archive : counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo

REASONS MANY MARRIED WOMEN LOSE INTEREST IN PHYSICAL INTIMACY

If not everything but physical intimacy is an important part of marriage for a woman. These days, though, plenty of married women see sex as a discounted duty.

First of all, let’s address why not having sex in a marriage is a concern.

Marriage is more than a contract it’s a pledge. This means it’s not only a legally binding act, but it is also a complete personal act: emotional, mental, spiritual, physical and sexual. Therefore, all these components go into the relationship. Physical intimacy is an integral component. A marriage without sex is incomplete and robs both partners of all nature has to offer.

Intimacy between a husband and wife is special. It’s that one needs that only one other person gets to meet. And it is bought by a ring and a vow. This means that when a partner refuses sex they are giving an ultimate no as there should not be other alternatives available. Each intimate sexual experience where both people give themselves and to their spouse renews and refreshes that connection. The aim here is addressing when wives turn away from sex within a marriage This is a painful way of rejection in a society which judges women’s worth based on their appearance and shame for men who are not as sexually driven as some other men.

In this article, one of India’s best Marriage Counselor, Relationship Expert, and Founder of Saarthi Counselling Services, Shivani Misri Sadhoo talks about reasons many married women lose interest in physical intimacy.

It Seems Optional

Women tend to be overwhelmingly busy in today’s society. Many of you work, manage finances, raise children, do exercise, shopping, cleaning, care for extended family, travel for work. Thus, become exhausted by day’s end that there’s little left of you– emotionally, mentally, physically or sexually. And husbands are often left to themselves. There are just so many demands that sex, since it looks optional, often slips down the ladder of priorities. Several wives don’t see sex as vital to a marriage.

Exhausted Out

Several young wives complain that they are completely sexed out. They had so much sex in their teens and twenties that they don’t want or need it now. And in the context of sex as just a physical act, that can make sense. But in marriage, it is not designed to be merely physical.  If you’re not in a committed relationship, and if you use protection, you can sleep with anyone, whenever. For this to be real, people learn to separate the emotional and spiritual side of their physical needs, leaving just the physical. This makes a dilemma for the marriages that often takes place years later. Healthy sex in a marriage asks physical, sexual and emotional vulnerability. Once a person turns off the emotions of getting physical, it’s difficult to turn it back on.

Resentment

Many women crave tenderness, help and time with their partner, and don’t get it. So when the husband turns up for the first time at day’s end wanting sex, the wife remembers all that he has not done for her of late.

Selfishness

Most people are self-centric. If you don’t want to, you won’t. If you don’t feel like it, then you don’t. In a successful marriage, there’s no space for selfishness. Women who experience their partner being selfish looks to become self-protective. And when one partner demands and does not give, it can become manipulative and abusive. Self-protective partners withdraw and withhold. Generally, it begins with emotional detachment, then at the intimacy level. Selfishness belittles, separates and ultimately divides a relationship. Relationships collapse when one or both of the partner is selfish.

Body

Many women do not always feel pretty, and that can get in the way of being getting physically intimate. A woman’s body along with her mind and emotions goes through a cycle of changes in a lifetime. Pregnancy, loss, stress, hormones can all change skin and weight. Women who see themselves as only how they appear mostly have difficulty offering their bodies sexually to their husbands. Also, there is a common myth in our culture that sex after a specific age is seen as not as fulfilling, especially as women deal with changes to their bodies and sexual response cycle following menopause.

Why Physical Intimacy In Marriage Is Worth It

It is designed for marriage, and marriage is designed to get physical love. It is something Nature created to put life and pleasure into a marriage. In a safe, developing relationship it’s not an obligation to perform, but a purposeful, intentional desire to grow closer to each other.

SIGNS YOUR PARTNER IS TAKING YOU FOR GRANTED

It is a complete drag to feel like you are taken for granted. Sadly, this happens far too often, particularly in relationships. One of the partners just naturally begins to overlook what the other contributes. It is easy to ignore how someone else impacts your character and overall success. But it’s absolutely a dishonest and foolish thing to do.

Though it’s not exactly rocket science, the expert clues are a perfect set of jumping-off points for some introspection on your partnership. If any or entire strike a familiar chord, it could be time for a serious chat.

In this article, Marriage Counselor, Relationship Expert, and Founder of Saarthi Counselling Services Shivani Misri Sadhoo tell here are the possible signs your partner is taking you for granted.

They Do Not Seek Your Advice

It is natural to seek advice from those who you love and care about. Someone who values your true importance in their life will be certain to seek your input before making any major decisions. Failing to do so is a sign that a person has started ignoring your influence, thereby taking you and your perspective for granted.

They Only Text When They Want Something

If your partner is only texting you sparingly especially when they want something. This is a sign you are being taken for granted. While this might be a good method of communication for casual relationships, it’s completely inappropriate for a committed one. More like a booty call, the messenger is hoping you to respond on their time, not taking into consideration your own.

They Stop Grooming

Certainly, the honeymoon might be over, but this is no excuse to ignore the physical component of your relationship. If your partner gets lazy in the grooming department but still expects sex, it means you are being taken for granted.  Remind them that it’s till death not till you look like death.

They Put Their Work Before You

If your partner is more focussed on their job than to their relationship with you, you are being taken you granted. While a relationship cannot always take a superior position over the demands of the workforce, they should at least be trying to create a balance between the two.

They Cut Conversation Short

If your partner walks away or has to get off the phone immediately when you are talking to them, it shows you are taken for granted. When someone really values the other person’s feelings, they ensure not to continually cut conversations short, leaving the other feeling unloved or unwanted. At the very least, they will call back later to finish up the talk.

They Do Not Listen When You Share

If they stop listening whenever you share your deepest feelings. It is another sign. After all, it is only in a committed relationship where one gets to hear such inner thoughts. There’s simply no excuse being so inattentive.

They Take Advantage Of Your Free Time

If your partner knows your schedule and begins scheduling repairs, deliveries, and appointments. during your free time, chances are sharp that they are taking you for granted. After all, free time is a precious, limited thing, and household errands must be split evenly amongst the 2 of you. If your partner starts piling it all on you, it is an indication they have ceased giving your desires the acceptance they deserve. 

THINGS TO BEAR IN MIND IF YOU WORK WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Though dating apps seem to be the way many amongst you might have to meet your partners, it’s definitely not the only way. Before dating apps, plenty of people met through more old-fashioned ways through friends and often while working in the same office. In fact, in spite of the advent of dating apps, meeting people at work is still a popular way of finding a spouse.

It makes better sense, of course. You spend more time with your colleagues than you do with your friends or relatives. You automatically get something in common with them and complaining about colleagues, bosses, and appraisals can be an immediate bonding experience particularly when paired with after-work meetings. There’s only one problem, only. If you meet your partner at work then you will work with your partner. Unless one of you changes jobs, your personal life and your professional life are now deeply interconnected. This means things can get complicated.

“You’re married and you work together. It could be a great experience or a miserable one. How it works is really a function of several factors, including the nature of your jobs, the size of the organization, how frequently you meet or interact during the day, your roles at the workplace, your schedules, your duties at work and at home, and your overall compatibility with each other in a work environment.

In this article, renowned Relationship Expert and Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo talks about things to bear in mind if you work with your spouse.

Ensure Both Of You Follow Professional Protocols

While there is a common myth that says that people working in the same organization are not allowed to date, this is not necessarily true. You may need to talk to your HR and let them know you are in a relationship. And a specific relationship dynamic between an immediate boss and subordinate, for instance—may or may not be allowed. But usually inter-company relationships, particularly between separate departments, is fine. But ensure everyone is aware of the relationship. This is a vital, often missed point. Working in a surrounding where your marriage is a secret is a recipe for disaster, rumors, and speculation. If you are working in an atmosphere that prohibits co-workers from being married, you are working in a lie, and it will have big implications for your job and career. Thus, it needs to be out in the open. Your employer needs to know, so do your co-workers.

Set Some Limits

One way to help things run smoothly is to set rules as quickly as you can. Decide how you want to handle various situations, right from the word go. One needs to figure out some basic questions. “How do you want to interact at work? Does the work culture bother with spouses working together? Do you need to keep a professional distance at work? What do you each want in terms of lunch breaks, and socializing? How do you want to handle domestic disagreements while at work? Generally, setting boundaries that keep home-related problems separate and bloc retribution at work for home-related issues are the most effective way. Dealing with this sooner can save you from problems later.

Limit Office Related Talk At Home

Complaining and discussing work can be exhausting. There’s something delightfully indulgent about cribbing about every annoying thing that happened during the day or about that one co-worker who drives you both insane. But here’s the catch, it could run away with you. It’s not healthy, and it can easily consume your important relationship time. Normally a time restriction and some boundaries about what is discussed and how much is discussed about work while at home is good. A little vent and some support could be useful, but if it’s beginning to bleed into crucial couple-time, then decide to call it quits.

Be Aware Of The Competition

When both of you work for the same company, comparisons cannot be avoided. It’s definitely true if you work in the same department or role, but even if one of you works in operations and the other in HR, there are still ladders to climb your way up and raises to be had or missed out on, so things can quickly become competitive. Make sure that if you feel that feeling growing, you talk to your partner. It could be that you need to talk less about work usually or that you need to address particular issues, like if you feel your partner does not enjoy your success, or if you feel like they do not support your career. If you feel any kind of flicker of jealousy or competition from either of you, ensure to manage it right away before it gets vulnerable.

Know That Something Or Someone May Have To Give

Finally, when many couples work happily together, it does not always work out. Be ready to accept that working together might not work. Be honest with each other about how it is happening, and remember that your marriage and relationship must be more important to both of you than your profession.

When you work with your partner, you need to be more vigilant and more alert, so make sure you are touching base and making sure you are both happy and content with the current setup. 

TIPS FOR COUPLES TO MAINTAIN A HEALTHY AND EXCITING MARITAL LIFE INTIMATELY

Intimacy or lovemaking does not have to get boring in a long-term marriage. As the years pass by and you get older, your intimate relationship must get better. Sex with your partner can become more satisfying because you know each other’s preferences, likes, dislikes, and habits.

You know that life can get in the way. Work, children, finances, and several issues can dampen the romance. These everyday factors can hamper both your desire for sex and getting the time to put in the effort. But do not put sex on a shelve or last to-do tasks. There are ways to prioritize lovemaking and keep it healthy and exciting.

In today’s article, Delhi’s top Marriage Counsellor and Founder of Saarthi Counselling Services shares tips for couples to maintain a healthy and exciting marital life intimately.

Set Boundaries

Create boundaries around your immediate or nuclear family. Include individual, couple, and family time built into your daily life and pre-defined lines of connection with each partner’s family. This means you have clear boundaries around how much time you spend with your and your spouse’s family. Your own relationship and family should be the first priority.

Touch Each Other Whenever You Can

Have a well-established connection around non-sexual physical touching, holding each other’s hand, laying together, and sitting on the couch with each other. Touch each other often. Make a routine to kiss when saying hello and bidding goodbye every day.

Say I Love You To Each Other

Hearing the three magical words I love you can make you feel reassured about the way your partner feels about the relationship with you. It is a small gesture that can keep your connection alive. Call each other during the day to say it if you missed your chance earlier in the day.

Set Date For Love Making

Have consistent physical intimacy dates. Having a frequent sexual relationship in your marriage is essential. Couples in the 20s have sex an average of 2 to 4 times a week. Couples in the 30s normally do it twice a week and couples in the 40s and 50s usually have it once every week. Pay attention to the frequency at which you are having sex. Try not to be sexually intimate less than twice a month, because you may get into a habit that does not give priority to connecting in a physical manner. Maintaining your physical connection provides your marriage staying power and safeguard it from the stresses of life. Make time either spontaneously or planned, to follow through with consistent lovemaking and intimacy. Your sexual relationship should be a tension reducer, not a tension builder.

Compliment Your Partner

Compliment your spouse in front of others. Not only it is a good thing to do, but it also helps your spouse feel a deep sense of attachment to you and boosts their self-esteem. It’s also good to model for your kids so that they see you being complementary to each other.

Change The Pattern Of Your Love Making

Try often to make love using a distinct sexual script. By mixing up your normal order of kissing, foreplay, and intercourse, you can reconnect in a great way. By mixing up the script, you take ownership of pleasure and excitement in your marriage. Nothing is better than feeling desired and having a partner who takes control of the sexual relationship.

Regularly Treat Each Other

Regularly give your partner small gifts or show gestures of love and care. Leave your spouse a loving note, get them a special treat when you go shopping or come back from office. Write I love you on a slip and keep it in their cupboard. Pay attention to these small but moving gestures.

Arrange Weekly Dates

Plan weekly dates to keep the spark in your connection. Also, arrange weekly business meetings to discuss professional life or including the division of roles and household responsibilities, weekly plans, and other matters that need to be discussed. By keeping these conversations apart, date night can be about connecting, talking, and getting physical, while organizational business night can be about work-related problem-solving and working as a team during the week.

LITTLE CHANGES THAT CAN MAKE A HUGE IMPACT ON YOUR MARITAL LIFE

Reconstructing a marriage does not always need a colossal intervention. Instead, changing minor daily habits can make a huge difference in how you feel about your marriage and most essentially, how you behave towards your soul mate. Whether you want to keep your marriage healthy or you need to recreate a spark, change some of your daily habits and you’ll be more likely to experience the beautiful marital bliss.

In today’s article Marriage Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo founder of Saarthi Counselling Services talks about little changes that can make a huge impact on your marital life.

Treat Your Bedroom Like A Romantic Haven

The surroundings in your bedroom can either spark romance or put off any passionate fires. If you have got a child sleeping between you, clothes piled up or sheets that haven’t been replaced over time, you are not going to feel an air of romance when you enter your room.  Several couples who take great pride in all other areas of their homes tend to ignore the bedroom. However, if you want to spark some romance, give energy into fixing up and cleaning the bedroom. A little paint on the walls, some new sheets and a bit of organizing can go a long way to putting the mood back in the bedroom.

Set A Goal For Your Marital Life Each Day

Just visualize what could happen if you get up each day with a goal for your marriage. You could do some awesome work. And they would not even have to be big goals. Instead, making a conscious decision every day to do something kind or spend quality time with your partner can go a long way. Even saying, I am going to find 1 positive thing to say to my spouse, or I am not going to be crabby today, can help you remain focused.

Look On What You Contribute Not What You Gain

Have a look at what you are contributing to your marriage each day. Instead of looking at what your partner hasn’t done for you or what’s not working, only pay attention to what you are doing to improve the marriage. If you focus on making life simpler for your spouse, you’ll have less time to focus on how marriage is making your life harder.

Turn Off Distractions

If you have ever said, “Yes,” without having any clue what your partner actually said, it’s a sign that you may tune your spouse out. If your partner’s voice seems to blend into the background, it can cause plenty of communication problems. Get focused and turn off distractions. Put off the TV, laptop and stop using your mobile while you’re trying to listen.

Treat Your Spouse Better Than Anybody Else

Think of how you treat your spouse on your bad days. When you are in a bad mood or are not happy with your partner’s behavior, what should you do? Unfortunately, spouses often seem to get the tough end of the stick. If you had a bad day at work, you are low or you are mad at your spouse, it doesn’t give you authority to behave badly.  Your spouse should get treated better than any other person, be it your friends, your in-laws, and strangers yet sometimes you are on your best behavior with those people and not our spouse.

Remember The Good Times

Marriage is not going to be a fairy tale every day. However, remembering the good times can fuel up lots of positive and loving feelings. Take time to talk about your happy memories, whether it was a vacation you enjoyed, a fun adventure you went, or other times that made both of you happy. Look at photographs together as well and take a walk down memory lane often and remember to work on developing new happy memories as well.

Give Words Of Encouragement

Often criticism comes more easily than encouragement. However, you should be your husband’s/wife’s biggest fan in life. The world can be a tricky place and your spouse needs your support. Offer words of sincere praise and encouragement each and every single day.

INDICATIONS YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS GOING DOWNHILL

Everything was perfect between you and your spouse after you tied in the knot. In fact, years after your wedding, you were enjoying each other’s company and exchanging pleasantries. You had every reason, to believe that your dream marriage is going to stay forever.

But now there is a twist in your story.

You both have all of a sudden started bickering over minor issues and a feeling of trifling between you two are growing at an alarming pace. The innocuous arguments that kept your love as an eternally burning flame until now, have turned into rounds of intermittent altercations. There was a period when you used to fall head over heels for each other, now you are finding it hard even to get along.

Is this what is reflecting your own life nowadays? Are you feeling a similar change of emotion and attitude for your partner?

Ups and downs are bound to happen in any relationship and the testing times like these give couples a chance to grow stronger. But it doesn’t necessarily occur all the time and therefore, one has to address the bothersome doubts and if possible, nip the issues in the bud.

In this article, Shivani Misri Sadhoo, Delhi’s top marriage counseling expert talks about indications your relationship is going downhill. Here they are.

Sudden Breakdown In Communication

The first calamity of any troubled relationship is the breakdown of communication. The breaking down of communication does not necessarily mean you have completely stopped talking. It essentially means the way of your communication has changed considerably. That is, now you are just speaking with each other inadequately not connecting to each other heart to heart. So, it is actually a bad sign when speaking to each other seems cursory. If the pattern of your communication persists the same way, it creates a distance and disconnection in your marital life. As a result, it makes you feel lesser affection and fondness for your partner. When communications get hampered in this way than the things that otherwise appear simple to talk about starts giving uncomfortable feelings now. If you are caught up in a similar scenario, just give your relationship the topmost priority rather than doing anything else.

Trust Is Fading Away

Trust is one of the most important factors of a relationship. If you are even remotely feeling the trust between you two is wearing away, it shows your relationship is going to get a jolt sooner or later. In general, the common worry linked with the lack of trust is that one partner thinks the other one might be doing something suspicious. This is a precarious situation that often leads to a lot of quarrels, which in turn results in all forms of accusations being thrown around. Such a situation will add another layer of the problem in your relationship because you or your spouse will start asking questions about something that may not be happening at all.

Arguments Over Same Things Keeps Happening

Disagreement with your partner over several issues is a common thing because that’s what individual opinions are all about and your marriage or relationship is no different. But when the ego gets bigger and then arguments happens even on pettiest of issues; then these are warning bells. It will then be just a matter of time when your arguments will turn into mudslinging, name-calling, or even cross the limits of respectful disagreements. If you let your arguments seriously up the ante like this and blame each another, you might end up damaging your relationship.

No More Excitement

There were days when you were so much into romance but now something is wrong, and you are confused where all the fun has gone. You loved to give and get surprises every now and then, you used to go for vacations, enjoying sex and you both were busy making memories for your lifetime. But the same excitement now does not exist. It is even impossible for you to go on a date. But there is always a possibility of something good may happen. If you are sure it’s the lack of fun and excitement that is harming your relationship, ensure to double it up now. Make every effort small or big to make your partner laugh and happy. Things will become smoother.

You Are No More Careful About Your Partner’s Views And Desires

Sometimes a complaint can turn into criticism and if it converts into a personality or character judgment, then the base of your marriage has started shaking up. If you are further putting each other down or continuously criticizing each other, you are no longer a good couple. The worse situation is if you do not respect your partner anymore, then it is highly unlikely that you will love your partner again. It is therefore vital to respect your partner’s views and desires to keep your relationship going.

SIGNS THAT SOMEONE IS IN LOVE WITH YOU

Are you not sure if a person is or is not in love with you? Maybe you are with somebody who you think is in love with you but has not said those big 3 words yet? Some people can find it extremely difficult to say “I Love You”. However, it doesn’t always mean that they don’t. They may just show it in some different ways. It can be quite hard to know for sure if someone loves you, particularly when they don’t make it very obvious.

Sometimes, actions speak louder than words and you may be able, to tell the truth just by observing any nonverbal signs that your partner may be giving you.

There could be several reasons as to why your partner is holding back on saying the actual words, such as past relationships, not being able to open up easily and many more but they could be showing you in various ways.

In this article, Delhi’s eminent Marriage Counsellor and Relationship Expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo tells about signs that someone is in love with you.

The Way They Look At You

A major sign that someone is falling in love with you is through their eye contact. This is a nonverbal sign that means a lot, and reveal deeper feelings from your partner. When you catch your partner glancing over at you, or looking at you while you are talking, this may that they love spending time with you and are happy to be with you. Even when you are busy talking with someone else, you may still catch your partner looking at you and this can be a significant sign that they are in love with you and are really happy to be around you.

They Want To Take Care Of You

If your partner rushes to take care of you, whether you are ill or are in any difficult situation, this is a great sign that they love you.

If they ask you questions to check how you feel and if you need anything, this could be a way of saying that they love you, they want you to be fine and will ensure it.

Someone who loves another person will often look to care for them makes sure they are happy and be there when they need to be, so look for this sign in the person, as it is a great indicator that they might be in love with you.

They Respect Your Personal Space

If you feel like having personal space, they will make sure to give you some. Your partner should listen to you and understand that you need some space, which has to be respected. If your partner leaves you while you have some time to yourself, including not bothering you with messages or just showing up uninvited, then this can really show that they love you.

When someone knows that you need sometimes alone, even if it’s for 2 to 3 hours or maybe a few days, they will understand and respect your decision.

They Ask For Your Suggestion

When someone is in love, they will often hold their partner’s opinions and views very highly and always want their advice on important decisions. Your partner will ask for suggestion on certain things and they know that you will most likely give them good advice that will help them, and that represents a great deal of trust.

Whatever the situation; like something to do with their job, or if they need help with a particular problem, they will ask for your advice as they value your opinion.

They Will Make You Feel Good About Who You Are

It is always good to have someone who makes you feel good about yourself, even on your worst days. When your significant other cannot only make you happy normally but also make you feel good about yourself and who you are, it shows they respect your identity.

Your partner may not even know what they are doing, but the way they behave and act with you can have a great impact on your relationship, for all the correct reasons. When someone wants you to be happy with who you are and finds a method to do so, they may be in love with you.

They Will Drop Everything With You

When a person puts his own needs and wants to be with you, this can be a great sign that someone loves you. If you really care about someone, you are most likely be there when your partner needs you, even if this involves dropping and postponing everything you are doing at the time.

If someone does this for you, it shows that they want to support and comfort you when you actually need it, which is a signifies that they really care for you and your needs.

They Ask About Your Day

Generally, in relationships, you ask your partner how their day has been and want to know what they are up to. This proves that you care about your partner and what has either upset them or made them excited during their day. If your partner is showing interest in your day and what is occurring when they are not with you, this is an indicator of a loving relationship. It may be high or low points of your day, but whatever it is, they want to know and are eager to listen.

TIPS TO AVOID THE 7-YEAR ITCH IN YOUR MARRIAGE

At some point in several long-term relationships, couples experience a rough patch, a time when they spar more than normal, feel bored and restless, and might even fantasize about being with someone else. This psychological term “7-year itch” became trendy in the 1950s when a movie by the same name handled the notion that many of you lose interest in your monogamous relationships after 7 years (though it is more popularly remembered as the movie where Marilyn Monroe posed over a subway grate while her white dress blew above her thighs).

If you or your spouse become inflicted with the 7-year itch, it does not mean automatic divorce.  On the contrary, it is completely normal.

In any venture boredom sets in overtime — this is due to the novel becomes the routine, after 7 years, many couples go through this period.  They find their partner irritating or boring and wonder if they’d be better off in a different relational state. But you don’t have to lose your sleep over it. In fact, consider it as a sign to improve your relationship. It’s quite easy to fix that feeling.

In this article, Delhi’s top Marriage Counsellor and Relationship Expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo share tips to avoid the 7-year itch in your marriage. Here they are:

Change The Way You Think About Love

Many people mistake love for a noun, whereas, in reality, it’s a verb, an action that’s dynamic, constantly inflow. It’s not a static thing. Think of love as water and your relationship as a long and winding river that makes it flow. Yes, there would be quiet pools and rocky patches, but that’s part of the adventurous journey. And adventure is a nice thing.

Sex Is Perhaps Going To Change

Everyone remembers the hot and passionate sex couples were having at the start of their relationship: At times the kind of sex that made you call in sick from work. You may still enjoy bouts of passionate sex, certainly, but you must know that your sex life will change because your bodies and libidos change as you grow further. Do not think your sex life needs to be that of a 25-year-old. As you age, your sex drives diminish. This is a function of your biology. Allow your sex life to change over time. If you expect it to remain the way it was, you’ll destroy its present and future expression.

Work On Yourself First

It is easy to blame your spouse when your relationship bores, irritates, or makes you upset, and to think things like this. If only he would do the dishes from time to time; if only he cared about holidays and so on.  But blaming your spouse, then trying to change them will only lead to acrimony and anger. These emotions damage relationships. The best remedy for an interesting relationship is to become an interesting person. What you can do runs the spectrum, from taking a new route to work, to reading books, to playing board games together rather than watching TV at night. After all, small steps lead to big shifts in personality and perception.

Experience Life Together

The ideal way to combat boredom in a relationship is to fill your life with wonderful adventures that you can look forward to as a couple,

If you have children, make it a point to (minimum twice a year) take a vacation from them. You can really appreciate each other when the children are not around. If you cannot take a vacation, have a relative or friend watch them for a weekend and opt for a ‘staycation.’ Do something physical together. Go hiking or for a run, exercise is an amazing bonding experience.

Communicate Often

If you want to avert bickering over nonsense, the best stuff you can do as a couple learns to communicate frequently and without restrictions. Talk frequently and honestly to each other about your problems, sex, anger, disappointment, and appreciation of each other. No topic should be avoided. Learn to listen and communicate rather than fighting. Fighting is childish, and you aspire for a grown-up relationship.

Get Handsy

Hugging and touching has long been proven to lower stress, strengthen the immune system, and release oxytocin, that helps people bond with each other. Thus, it’s no surprise that touching your partner on a regular basis can keep you more connected and in sync with each other’s physical and emotional needs.

Sit near your significant one, and gently place your hand on their shoulder, leg, or arm. If you are in the car, lightly touch his/her shoulder or arm. You’ll notice your conversation becomes warmer and more caring. If you have been struggling, or are ready to forgive each other, facing each other and holding both hands will help you feel more strongly connected and reassured.

5 WAYS TO OVERCOME ROMANTIC REJECTION

Nobody likes being rejected. When it comes to love, you put many of your hopes, emptiness, and traumas out into the open. Therefore, getting over romantic rejection is sometimes quite difficult. But it always depends.

The loss of great love can be devastating if you carry inside the unhealthy seed of feeling abandoned. It can also hurt when your age catches up to, or if you are on a time in your lives when you are really vulnerable. If there is cheating or abuse, that might also make getting over romantic rejection very hard.

In spite of all the happenings, there is always a way out. Getting up and moving ahead is never easy, but it’s not impossible.

In this article, Delhi’s top Relationship Expert and Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo reveals 5 ways to overcome romantic rejection.

Getting Over Romantic Rejection By Checking Your Wounds

The first thing you must do, even when it hurts, is to pull off your improvised bandage and check the magnitude of your wound. What did you actually lose?

It is essential that you answer that question with sheer honesty. Sometimes you aren’t losing the love of your life, as you may believe, just illusions and expectations.

It’s quite possible that the most painful thing is not the loss itself. Sometimes, your ego hurts more. Probably, it brought up your old doubts about yourself because your self-love is already hurt.

The loss only shows you that reality without anesthesia. For getting over romantic rejection, you must look at what you had invested in that relationship.

Express Yourself By Every Possible Way

Feelings that are not expressed mostly turn into pain. Particularly, when it comes to negative feelings. This is why you must use all possible ways to let them out.

There are several kinds of ways to do it, not just talking time and again about what happened. You can write, for instance. As much as needed.

You can even paint your pain or you can dance. Anything that allows you to free those feelings is valid.

Refocus

Because of the psychological impact of the loss, you are might be thinking gloomy thoughts. Without realizing it, you start to focus only on the most negative aspects of everything. You unwittingly select the most painful interpretations of the facts and you focus on all the negative things in the world.

But refrained getting carried away by it. What you must do is refocus your attention in a more constructive way. Never allow the pain to invade your whole being, because it won’t give you anything but bitterness.

Aim to bring positive thoughts into your mind. Engage your will in appreciating all the good that still exists. This will be a huge help for getting over romantic rejection.

Free Yourself From Unrealistic Thoughts

Our society insists that loss or failure is totally unwanted. But it has been completely proven that this is not true. First, because situations like this are inevitable. Every human being goes through failure. And secondly, since there is no bigger opportunity to grow than from difficult experiences.

Romantic rejection is not the end of the world. Despite what soap operas and songs depict. In fact, it’s completely the opposite. Every ending also marks a beginning. What happens should happen. And it is always positive if you want it to be positive.

Take Advantage Of This Chance To Make Changes In Your Life

If you think you cannot continue living like this, good. It is time for you to focus on changing. Do not think about the person you have lost, think about other aspects of your life.

There’s always something to throw away, there’s always something to begin. Focus on that.

Nothing is better for overcoming a romantic rejection than to introduce fresh things to your life. Learning something new is always a great choice.

It keeps your mind occupied and that raises your eyes up to focus on new areas. It’s also great to change up your social circles or work on developing new habits.

You should be aware that nothing you do will automatically take away the pain. Wounds to the heart always take time to heal. Do not hurry.

Tolerate suffering and think about how it helps you to go ahead. Feed hope and do not fall into the trap of isolation. Believe that everything will turn out well. 

5 Essential Tips to Survive Your Spouse’s Midlife Crisis

Often very few people are capable of managing the midlife crisis, learn from it, and move on towards a more fruitful life. There are few who transforms into a smaller form of their personality and impose colossal discomfort on the people around them. Primarily focusing on self and your kids can be understood as the easiest way of surviving your partners midlife crisis.

Even if your spouse handles their midlife crisis without doing much harm or damages to people around, they tend to go through changes of some kind. These alterations may leave you wondering about what could be done to help yourself (and your spouse) in saving your relationship. Surviving your spouse’s midlife crisis is not an easier task but it is workable when you take the right steps.

In this article, Delhi’s top marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo talk about 5 essential tips to survive your spouse’s midlife crisis.

Focusing On Your Children And Self

You aren’t doing any great favors to yourself and your spouse if you are obsessed with what their thinking or actions are. Don’t be too over-possessive. Still, however, you have complete control over the choices you make.

Shift your focus on things that are in your control. No use of overthinking about your spouse’s problems, it’s often that you are filled with negative thoughts in your head. These negative thoughts will eventually impact you and your kids.

It’s best to fill your time with a hobby that will distract you from your spouse’s behaviors during their mid-life crisis. If there is a stressful environment at home, plan for activities for yourself and your children away from that environment. Do take steps that will keep you and your kids from becoming victims during your spouse’s midlife crisis.

Defining Clear Boundaries With Your Spouse

The simplest way to keep your spouse’s ruthless behavior from creating stress in your life is to defining boundaries and sticking to those boundaries with your spouse. In case your spouse is cheating on you, make them realize that this part of their life shouldn’t allow intruding into your life. Simply tell him or her that you don’t want to know anything about their extramarital relationships and tell that you don’t want to be in a conflict or be a part of a love triangle.

There may be an instinct to find out about the other person. Even spying on your spouse, reading their emails, checking their mobile phones and hacking their computers, these tend to be feeding your curiosity to know about them. But the fact is, people going through a midlife crisis, will do what continues with relationships regardless of what your feelings are. Let it go. Let things take up its own course and gracefully accept the fact that you have no control over the situation. Don’t let it hamper your way of living your life.

Channelize Your Anger Towards A Healthy Way

Often Anger could be considered as a normal reaction to your spouse’s midlife crisis, especially when it is adversely affecting you. The anger could be at its optimal, but venting out it will only make you feel better in the short-term. For some, talking things out can help ease their feelings, while others find that it exacerbates the situation. Venting the anger on your spouse spontaneously won’t change his or her behavior, but will lead to more complications in your relationship.

The best way to vent out the anger is to have a non-confrontational approach. Join a gym, throw water balloons against the house walls. Burn the pictures of bad memories and flush out. The approach is to cope up with your anger in a manner that doesn’t involve your spouse. Screaming, cursing, or crying won’t impact your spouse who is going through a midlife crisis.

Don’t Start A Talk On Relationship With Your Spouse

In any relationship, there is an option of discussing relationships & solving every problem mutually. But you’re no longer that couple and you cannot expect your spouse to care about working through your relationship issues.

In place of living in your past relationship sweet memories, pick up new hobbies, focus on your career, or find reasons to be away from your house. Make a habit of prioritizing yourself which can truly help you get healed.

Listen Without Any Judgmental Notions

When your spouse initiates a conversation with you, listen without being too critical. Chances are that your spouse might be experiencing self-doubts and confused about what they are going through, so listening em-pathetically is the key. Any sarcastic comments are to be avoided. It is easier said than done, particularly when they seem to be irrational or are undeserving of your sympathy.