Category Archive : best psychologist in Delhi

marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo

Ways Getting Cheated in a Relationship changes A Person

When you have been cheated on by your partner, you surely feel broken, lost and so many other emotions including humiliation. Cheating also transforms us as a person and it generally, is a permanent change. Have you been cheated on? Read this to confirm if these changes were experienced by you too as shared by Delhi’s leading marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo.

Relationship expert Shivani Sadhoo says getting cheated in a relationship could have a profound impact on a person’s emotional, psychological, and behavioral well-being. Here are certain common ways that being cheated on can change a person:

Delhi’s leading marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo

Loss of Trust:

Infidelity shatters the base of trust in a relationship. It can make a person skeptical and suspicious, not just in future relationships but also in their overall interactions with people. They may find it difficult to trust others, including close friends and family members.

Emotional Distress:

Discovering that your spouse has cheated on you can cause intense emotional pain, leading to feelings of betrayal, anger, sadness, and humiliation. This emotional distress may persist for a long time, even after the relationship has ended. It can also trigger anxiety and depression, impacting a person’s mental health.

Self-Esteem and Self-Worth:

Being cheated on can profoundly hit an individual’s self-esteem and self-worth. They may question their attractiveness, worthiness, and their ability to maintain a healthy relationship. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt, which may affect their future relationships and overall self-confidence.

Relationship Problems:

People who have been cheated on mostly find it challenging to form new romantic relationships. They may struggle with intimacy and fear being hurt again. It can be challenging to fully open up and trust a new partner, leading to difficulties in building a deep emotional connection.

Insecurity and Jealousy:

The experience of being cheated on could make a person overly vigilant and possessive in future relationships. They may become excessively jealous, constantly seeking reassurance and validation from their partner. This insecurity can strain relationships and create a cycle of suspicion and doubt.

Fear of Abandonment:

Infidelity may instill a fear of being abandoned in a person. They might worry that they are not enough for their partner, leading to clingy behavior or a constant need for reassurance. This fear can hinder the development of a healthy and balanced relationship.

Problems in Forgiving:

Healing from infidelity mostly involves forgiveness, but it could be a challenging and lengthy process. Some persons might find it difficult to forgive their partner or even themselves. Lingering resentment and bitterness can hinder personal growth and prevent the person from moving forward.

Alterations in Behavior:

Being cheated on can lead to changes in behavior and coping mechanisms. Some individuals may become more guarded, emotionally distant, or reluctant to commit to future relationships. On the other hand, some may become overly vigilant, snooping through their partner’s belongings or invading their privacy due to a fear of being deceived again.

It is essential to note that while being cheated might have significant impacts, not everyone will experience these changes in the same manner. Each person’s response to infidelity is unique, and healing and recovery processes differ from person to person. Seeking support from friends, family, or professional counselors can be beneficial in navigating the aftermath of infidelity and redeveloping trust.

Easy Ways to be More Likeable

What decides whether you click with a new friend, or have good chemistry with a possible romantic partner? You perhaps think that these procedures of interaction attraction are mysterious, or decided by a person’s unique personal attributes — a quick wit, for instance. However, Shivani Sadhoo says research in social psychology indicates that liking and loving are mostly triggered by simple, mundane factors such as how close your apartment is to the stairs.

These factors could be influential to make you more likable and, more essentially, to help you meet your fundamental need for a true social connection, shares Shivani Misri Sadhoo, India’s eminent psychologist and relationship counselor.

Sheer exposure impact

The more one is exposed to a specific thing, the more you tend to like it. This phenomenon is called the sheer exposure impact, this is why one seems to love familiar music to new tunes, elect political candidates having the most media exposure, and grow fonder of persons the more often we interact with them.

One can leverage the mere exposure impact to boost your likeability and assist you to connect with others. Make an attempt to be seen, repeatedly. Turn your camera on during online meetings. Comment on other people’s social media posts. Visit the gym at the same time every day to improve the odds of bumping into the same people. If you can opt for your office or cubicle, opt for one that is close to the break room where more people will see you.

In other words, make yourself visible. Just do not overdo it. Excessive exposure could backfire – evidenced by the fact that you may get sick of hearing your favorite song when it is overplayed.

Remember names

Remembering somebody’s name is vital since it signals that he/she is important to you. On the other hand, failing to remember somebody’s name – or other important aspects about them – weakens the closeness of the relationship.

One of the factors to connecting with others, then, is to remember names. The problems are that remembering a name could be difficult. One impactful, research-based strategy for remembering names is known as retrieval practice — constantly pulling information out of your brain. Shortly after being introduced to someone, retrieve his/her name from memory. Ask yourself: “What was his/her name?” Or, use their name while in conversation. The more consistently you retrieve a name from memory, the more likely you are to remember it.

Smile

In spite of the maxim to “never judge a book by its cover,” one mostly routinely judges people on the basis of their looks. One tends to assume that attractive-looking people are more competent and socially skilled compared to others. One also finds attractive people more likable.

There is great news for those who believe that beauty advantage is an unfair thing. A bright smile can instantly make someone more attractive. In one study, it asked people to rate the attractiveness of computer-generated faces. The faces differ in attractiveness, and whether they were smiling or showing a neutral expression. The results indicated that faces were seen as more attractive when they were smiling, which is consistent with earlier findings on the topic. What really surprised the researchers was that less attractive but smiling faces were rated quite highly as attractive faces without a smile. It was decided that “smiling can compensate for relative unattractiveness.”

If you wish to be perceived as more attractive, more likable – simply flash a smile.

Ask Questions

Be authentically curious about other people and ask them questions. People who ask more questions while in conversations are regarded as more responsive and are more liked by conversation partners. When you ask questions, specifically follow-up questions (“What was that moment like?”), you display that you are actively listening and interested in what that individual has to convey.

To make a good effect, be more interested in other people than you are in making a good impact.

Find Similarities

Studies show that you like people who share your interests, values, and personality traits. Hence, the old saying “birds of a feather flock together” is more correct than the popular belief that “opposites attract.”

When you try to make new friends, fill the deck in your favor by meeting individuals who share your interests. Then, find other things you have in common.

Make others feel good

On the basis of the reward theory of attraction, you like people who reward you, or whom you associate with good feelings. If you wish to enhance your likeability, make others feel good in your company. Be friendly and warm. Give genuine compliments. If you are going for a movie for a first date, opt for a happy film over a sad one.

Stay positive on social media, too. It has been seen that people who tend to make more negative posts on social media are liked less compared to those who make more positive posts. This does not mean that you cannot express your feelings genuinely when you are feeling anxious or depressed, but you might want to save negative disclosures for personal conversations with trusted friends.

Show your liking for them

Liking is mostly mutual. Rather, one of the most powerful factors of whether you will like someone is whether they like you.

In a small way, let another person know that you like them. You can do so using words (“I had so much fun hanging out today”) or through non-verbal behavior – by smiling when he/she enter the room.

Conclusion

Shivani says one can apply the science of attraction to enhance the odds that someone will like you. By doing it, you are not being manipulative. You are merely making it a lot easier to connect with others in this modern, often disconnected world.

Your Therapist Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxietydepressionsleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control the pandemic’s spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

Signs One is a Covertly Anxious Introvert

Anxiety is that voice in the back of your head that says, “Something unwanted is going to happen.” This is what keeps you awake at 2:00 AM thinking about something gross you did some years ago.

Not every introvert has anxiety, and extroverts and ambiverts might struggle with it, too. To be certain introversion and anxiety are not the same thing. Introversion is a choice for calm, minimally stimulating surrounding and a requirement for alone time to recharge, while anxiety is a usual term for disorders that creates excessive fear, worrying, and nervousness. Still, for several introverts, anxiety is a consistent part of their lives. And actually, anxiety is more common in introverts than extroverts.

At times anxiety is obvious to think of (panic attacks and sweaty palms), but this is not always the case. Several people live with a form named “high-functioning anxiety.” Outwardly, they seem to have it all together. They might even lead very successful lives. No one can think from the outside that they are driven by fear. At times they do not even realize it themselves says Shivani Sadhoo.

Even though not an official diagnosis, high-functioning anxiety is a thing various people identify with. It is closely linked to Generalized Anxiety Disorder, which impacts millions of people worldwide. While women are twice as likely to experience it compared to men.

Here, India’s top psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares some signs of high functioning anxiety.

Here, they are.

You are always prepared

Your mind consistently jumps to the worst-case scenario in any given circumstances. As a result, you might find yourself over-preparing. For instance, you might pack your essentials in both your checked luggage and your carry-on, just in case the airline loses your suitcase. People perceive you as being the reliable one, your preparations mostly do come in handy, but few individuals (if any) realize that your “ready for anything” mentality stems due to anxiety.

You may go berserk inside, but you are unflappable on the outside

Interestingly, several people having high-functioning anxiety do not reveal simply how nervous they are, which is another reason why it is mostly secret anxiety. You perhaps have learned to compartmentalize your emotions.

You continuously feel the urge to be doing something

This could be a real problem if you are an introvert who requires plenty of downtimes to recharge. This does not necessarily mean you are attending plenty of social events; rather, you might feel a compulsion to always be getting things done or remaining on top of things. Remaining busy distracts you from your anxiety and provides you with a sense of control.

You view the world in a fundamentally different manner

Your anxiety is not merely “in your mind.” Researchers at the Weizmann Institute of Science in Israel saw that individuals who are anxious view the world differently than people who are not. In that study, anxious people were less capable to differentiate between a safe stimulus and one that was earlier linked with a threat. In simple words, anxious people overgeneralize their emotional experiences—even when they are not threatening.

You are fearful of disappointing others

You may be a people-pleaser. You are so afraid of allowing others down that you work hard to make everybody around you happy, even if it means sacrificing your own wishes and needs.

You are externally successful

Goal-oriented, organized, detail-oriented, and proactive in planning prior to all possibilities, you might be the picture of success. The issue is, it is never enough. You always feel like you need to be doing more.

You have formed your life around avoidance

You have restricted your world to stop overwhelm. You stick to fixed routines and familiar experiences that provide you a sense of easiness and control; you avoid intense emotional experiences, such as travel, social events, conflict, or anything else that may trigger your anxiety.

You are a perfectionist

You attempt to calm your worries by getting your tasks or your appearance simply right. This could bring positive results, but it comes at an expense. You might have an “everything-or-nothing” mentality (“If I am not the best employee, then I am the worst”). You might have a few unrealistic expectations of yourself, and a catastrophic fear of falling short of them.

You are prone to reflection and overthinking

You do plenty of negative self-talk. You mostly revisualize past mistakes in your mind, dwell on scary “what if” situations, and struggle to enjoy the present moment because you are expecting the worst. Sometimes your mind races and you are not able to stop it.

You experience aches, repetitive habits, and tics

Your anxiety perhaps manifests physically in your body as repeated muscle tension or aches. Similarly, you may unconsciously pick at the skin surrounding your nails, tap your foot, scratch your scalp, or do other repetitive tasks that gets your nervous energy out—even when you seem composed in other ways.

You are always tired

Your mind is repeatedly going on, so you have a problem falling asleep or staying asleep. Even when you sleep well, you feel fatigued during the day because dealing with a continuous underlying level of anxiety is exhausting.

Signs You Are Anxious And Do Not Know About It

If one is anxious, one would know it, correct? Well, that would be good, but the truth is several anxious persons are not certain what they feel. Recognizing and naming emotions is a skill to learn, that not everyone is good at doing. There are certain signs you can use to identify if you are struggling with anxiety but avoiding the emotion at the same time, says Shivani Sadhoo.

As you may know, several health issues are also linked to stress-related issues. Some studies have also indicated that issues such as IBS (irritable bowel syndrome) and headaches are also the causes of anxiety.

Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo in this blog shares certain signs that suggest you are anxious, but perhaps do not know about it.

Signs Anxiety is Troubling You

Anxiety shows up when you do not have the sort of control in life you would like. For instance, anxiety naturally happens when you are driving on a snow-covered road and realize that your car has begun to slide; as the car slides, you do not have the sort of control you would like.

Anyone can experience this emotion that arises due to the loss of control in any number of situations, including work, relationships, or in other aspects. One can also experience anxiety when visualizing or imagining future events where one might not have control, like giving an office presentation a week from now. One can be anxious and still look calm, conduct normally, and accomplish important things. Anxiety is not every time about looking or acting like a nervous person.

Here are certain signs.

It is Hard for You to Name Emotions

If you pass through your day without thinking much about what you feel, have a problem explaining to others what you feel, rarely ask others what they feel, and are not certain what leads to feeling good or bad, you could be struggling with alexithymia.

The Chronic Pain or Other Health Issues Began During a Stress or Transition

If you try to look back at when your shoulder started to hurt, your lower back went out, or your overwhelming fatigue crept in, you may find that your life was in a major transition or stressful period. Perhaps one of your kids started school, or your daughter left home, you lost a job or your parents died, graduated from college, or began a new job. Transitions and stress are significantly hurdled some because of the lack of control in these situations, which leads to anxiety.

You Have No Idea What You Need

When your basic needs for connection with others, competence, and freedom are not met, you are going to experience negative emotions. If you are not aware of your own needs, you might not be aware of what you feel when your needs aren’t met.

You Do Not Share Your Emotional Ups and Downs with Others

A person who openly shares his life with others talks about emotions. A person who connects with others majorly through activities such as work, sports, or discussions regarding politics may not be getting below the surface to discuss what they feel or need.

Coping Strategy of Your’s are Not Healthy

Although you keep telling yourself you are doing well, you are consuming more alcohol, picking up your past smoking habit again, spending more time and money using unhealthy products to manage your sleep problems, watching more television, and reacting angrily at pretty minor irritations or nothing at all.

Having Unexplained Pain Issues

If you have life hurdles and unmet desires but no clearly defined emotions, chronic pain might be what you do feel in the end. The stress you feel during work, the unhappiness you experience at home, and the pressures of life formed emotions, emotions that assist you to know that something is wrong and needs attention. Think of physical pain as an alternative method of your brain getting your attention that something is not right if your emotional warning system is switched off.

Are you also struggling to identify your emotions? Or do not know what to do? Don’t worry psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo will assist you and guide you to come out of this phase and help you overcome your anxiety-related issues.

How to Stop Worrying About Small Things?

And Free Your Mind from Anxiety, Reveals Shivani Sadhoo

We worry about various things at home, at our workspace, within our family, and inside our professional circles and that’s obvious but if your worries and fears have turned constant and interfering with your ability to function and relax – then that’s not correct. You might be at risk of having anxiety disorder that involves constant and chronic worrying, nervousness, and tension. And, anxiety disorder is not just a single issue, it commonly triggers various emotional and physical issues like – hypertension, heart issue, depression, ulcers, etc.

Eminent psychologist and couple’s therapist, Shivani Misri Sadhoo warns that one must try to be careful if they tend to worry about too many things. She adds worry and fear can feel overwhelming and have a way of tricking us into believing that all is lost.  If one is not careful about what to worry about and what to let go then your worry may start to devour you; i.e. it may turn into a habit without notice.

Psychologist Shivani in this blog shares some cool methods that everyone can try and get themselves free from the circle of constant worrying.

“All IZZ Well” – Place your hand over your heart

Like the famous character of Amir Khan, “Ranchordas” in the movie 3 idiots has suggested, the moment you are worried, stressed, or fearful, place your hand over your heart, close your eyes but instead saying “all is well”, try to imagine someone you feel completely safe with.  It could be your spiritual guru, or your parents, or even your pet.  As you remember feeling loved, sit with this feeling for at least 30 seconds.  Notice the calm.

The science behind it? During stress and tension, your fight or flight system is activated and your cortisol levels are elevated.  Deep breathing causes the vague nerve to signal your nervous system to lower your heart rate, blood pressure, and cortisol. Taking just ten deep breaths can assist with relaxation and provide a sense of calm.

Don’t time leap in futures

If you live as if the future has already happened, you will build a habit to worry about something that hasn’t happened yet. You avoid worrying about the future by practising mindfulness, which is a type of meditation in which you focus on being intensely aware of what you’re sensing and feeling in the moment, without interpretation or judgment.

Practising mindfulness involves breathing methods, guided imagery, and other practices to relax the body and mind and help reduce stress.

Practice self-acceptance

There is a strong link between an unsure sense of self and a tendency to worry about small things. Hence it’s important to try shifting your self-concept from negative to positive or develop self-acceptance. It includes body acceptance, self-protection from negative criticism, and believing in one’s capacities.

Your perception drives your worries

If you think deeply, you will realize worries are largely triggered by perceptions. For instance, if your child has not scored well in past academic years, you may start to worry that he/she will not do well in the upcoming examinations too. When you start to constantly worry, you may start to pile stress on your life, and the outcome from it may soon result in constant criticism, constant judgments, constant expression of distrust for your child – resulting in communication gaps. Instead of worrying about what has not happened yet, focus on knowing what may be causing your child to develop disinterest in studies, is there any issue at school or with classmates or with a teacher, etc.

Some Habits of Women that Makes them Look Attractive

It is not always a good gene at play when it comes to being an attractive woman. Her personality, qualities, and confidence all play a major role in unleashing her bright and shiny self, says Shivani.

Changes in actions, behavior, and speaking skills contribute to the attractiveness of a woman. The truth is, it is no longer about looks anymore.  Let’s know in this blog by psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo who talks about what traits attractive women possess.

Confidence

Having a killer confidence is worth dying for. Women who are confident of themselves, their abilities, and know what they are worth, are quite attractive and admirable. Such a woman does not feel the need to compare herself with any other in an attempt to feel beautiful and pretty. She is aware that true beauty comes from within and that no one can snatch that thunder from her.

Financial Independence

A woman who is able to manage and handle all of her finances alone is considered pretty attractive. Providing for herself and planning her own finances proves that she is quite strong and does not need to depend on others for her survival. Independency is quite an attractive trait that relates to self-made personalities.

Humble

Being egoistic regarding money and power is going to get no one anywhere. A woman is attractive when she is humble about her origins, does not sound phony, and enjoys and values life as it is. Having compassion for others and all things will make a person more approachable. Being confident and humble in the proper amount can term you as an attractive woman.

Positive Mindset

Having a positive approach to everything irrespective of the circumstances is indeed applause-worthy. A woman who opts to see the light instead of looming in the dark is an actual motivator because her positive personality will motivate others to also follow positivity and not drown in negative thoughts.

Smile

Having a pretty smile always attracts the heart. A beautiful and attractive woman loves to flash a pearly smile that is good enough to melt anybody’s heart. An authentic, honest smile is the embodiment of a healthy and positive mind and body. Moreover, seeing a woman smile will bring around a number of contagious smiles among people present there, making it a happy vibe.


Top psychologist

Reasons Why People Struggle with Laziness?

Beware Laziness May Lead to Depression Warns Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo

Let’s assume you have always been a disciplined person. You were an academic achiever from the early stages of your school days.

However, there are specific areas in your life in which you admit that you are “lazy.” You believe you do not flourish when it comes to doing household chores. So, you hire someone to help in those areas.

Sometimes, though, it still bothers you to think that there is “laziness” in you. In several cultures, “lazy” is a very negative term.

Why is laziness such a frowned-upon trait? Is it even a trait, or is it the symptom of something else, such as anxiety, depression, or mental illness?

In this blog, India’s Top Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo, will help you to examine the myth of laziness and why you need to ask—am I depressed or lazy?

The Key Difference Among Depression and Laziness

Depression and laziness have many things in common, which is why several people are misbranded as lazy.

The reason the word “lazy” mostly goes with depression is that it is a common symptom of depression and mental illness.

Depression and laziness both impact concentration, motivation, energy levels, and the quality of work produced.

The difference is this depression impacts one’s mental health and mood, while lazy people are simply unmotivated by things beyond their control because they lack self-awareness or deep insight into what motivates them.

How Would You Know if you are Depressed or Lazy?

How would you know if you are lazy? Depression feels quite dark, you will notice that it is hard to get out of bed in the morning. Not because you are so relaxed and enjoying your cozy time, but because you are sad, dejected, and feeling lackluster and hopeless.

Laziness is more of a circumstantial experience. Some days you might feel lazy because you are tired from a hectic week. On the other hand, depression can last for several weeks or months irrespective of how much rest you get.

Actual Laziness Could be a Myth

Some people may argue that actual laziness is a moral failure, else a temperament is a myth.

Certainly, everyone has days where he/she is voluntarily and blissfully lazy. When you take a day off, for instance. Being lazy is a way of self-care. The space to watch TV, order your favorite food, and enjoy some moments to breathe without the hectic pace of life as a corporate professional is absolutely necessary.

Reasons Why One Might Struggle with Laziness

From the perspective of a counselor, laziness is actually the reflection that suggests an individual’s mental health and overall wellness needs some sort of examination.

One Perhaps Has Issues Pertaining to Value Linking

Value linking refers to whether one feels that an assignment aligns with your own values.

At work, you are often assigned tasks that appear mindless or useless. If you get tripped up by value linking, you might probably have a difficult time completing an important assignment for your boss—even if it is a top priority and due next hour or day—if you think the task has no value.

Most people have the capability to suspend their thoughts around value linking just to work on projects assigned to them by their superiors. However, some people find it almost impossible to do work that has little or no perceived value.

If you are a value-linking individual, it is important to speak to your boss regarding this. Make certain you ask about why a project or assignment is so important.

Dig in deep until you can truly align to the overarching value of work so you can finally get it done. Otherwise, you will reject getting started and continue to procrastinate, and earn the word “lazy.”

One is Lazy, as They Have Too Much to Do

When one works remotely, one is inundated with work from every aspect. His computer, phone. Notifications reminding when your on-line meeting is starting. It is way too much.

It has been seen many people respond to this experience of overwhelm with what seems like laziness. They hide. They drag the covers over their head and use their avoidance and unresponsiveness as a manner of saying, he/she is overwhelmed.

How to Encourage Individuals with Depression and Mental Health Issues

One of the finest methods to totally deflate and degrade someone having depression is to call them lazy. Language has enough power. When you notice someone being lazy at work, pause and consider how to motivate them.

Consider swapping out the word “lazy” from your dictionary completely. As mentioned above, laziness has quite a negative connotation and can bring up damaging feelings.

Encourage your employees, family members, colleagues to schedule routine into their calendars. Sometimes it is called “thinking time” or moments of space.

It may seem like laziness, but it is actually the most replenishing time one can put on their agenda.

Simply Lazy or Depressed – Both are Absolutely Fine

Laziness and depression are both parts of human life. Neither is good or bad.

Let us everyone work to relieve yourselves and each other of the intense judgment of the two human experiences.

Signs That Foretell That a Person Is of Negative Mindset

Lack of confidence, gloom and doom, distrust, and anxiety are toxic doses. You perhaps wonder how one person can survive with all those inside them. Yet, these negative people exist all around us and are at times impossible to avoid.

It is not to say that you will never ever have moments of despair, anxiety, and discouragement. But as a positive person, you never let these thoughts take control of your life. You live the 4 to 1 ratio. You generate four positive thoughts for each negative one, to keep situations from getting out of control.

Below, in this article from Top Delhi-based Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo you will find some signs of negative people, and see what makes them tick. You will discover why several people are unaware of their negativity and how it is hampering their lives, and everyone else’s. These warning signs will also prepare you to be on the alert so that you can avoid falling into the trap of negativity.

They Always Worry

Negative people always survive on worry, a very unhealthy diet. This mindset is programmed towards the need to feel safe and protected and aware to an extreme degree. Practicing mindfulness and living in the present are great ways to defeat worry.

They Live in the Default Position

There is a neurological explanation as to why some individuals end up being so negative. It has to do with the part of their brain called the amygdala, which functions like an alarm and is continuously on the lookout for danger, fear, and unpleasant news. Scientists feel this to be the brain’s default position. In evolutionary terms, it is understandable; it is entirely part of the fear-flight mechanism in which the brain uses most of its neurons to keep up with all the unpleasant news that is stored in the memory.

Positive people form an ability to evaluate and stand up to problems that can counteract this mechanism.

They Try to Tell You What to Do

When people begin to tell you what you must do with your life, what property to buy or whether you must change your job, you can be certain they are in the negative squad. They do not realize it but this is a certain sign that they have not sorted out their own life problems. It is a lot simpler to tell everyone else how to live their lives.

They Love Secrecy

If you meet a negative person at a gathering, you could find the conversation rather tedious. Fearful of revealing too much information related to themselves, they live in fear that doing so might be used against them in some way. They rarely think that what they might share could be used in a positive manner too.

If you find yourself or someone else becoming defensive and closed during a conversation, think about possible reasons why.

They Cannot Restrict Their Exposure to Bad News

Negative persons love coming into your cubicle and saying things such as, “have you heard the terrible news about….”, post which they fill you in on all the gory details. The tragedy is that overexposure to negative news impacts a person more deeply than was previously thought. Some studies have shown that media exposure to violence, death, and tragedy adds to depression and anxiety, as well as to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). It colors a negative individual’s outlook on life.

That is why you must restrict the amount of news you watch on television or read in newspapers. Difficult? Probably. But important if you are to remain positive.

They Complain a Lot

Negative people seem to whine a lot, convinced that the entire world is against them. They are generally the victim of lousy weather, a problematic boss, ill-luck, and their upbringing. They rarely step back to look at other reasons – like the lack of energy, creativity, or plain hard work.

The Like to Live in Their Comfort Zone

Leaving the familiar world is anathema to those people who are negative. They cannot face the possibility of extra fear, discomfort, hurdles, challenges, or failure. They are thus never really able to try out new experiences and are destined to dwell in their dull and dreary comfort zone.

They Love to Use the Word “But”

A negative person could say something positive or even compliment you on your great talent. They may be happy to find themselves on the beach or in a shopping mall. The only issue is they finish their remarks with the ‘but’ word, turning the positive manner into a negative. You get remarks such as “It looks like a great restaurant but I wonder why you did not book a table outside” or “It is a lovely beach but there are always too crowded.”

They Mostly Miss Out on the Good Things in Life

A negative individual will hardly recognize joy, passion, satisfaction, and excitement. These are not emotions or sensations that they daily experience.

Definitely, this is hardly surprising when considering these individuals are fixated on their unsatisfying professional life, relationships, and social status.

They are Like Energy Vampires

Apart from being demanding, negative people drain out all your energy, simply like a vampire. They are just incapable of generating any positive energy and will absorb all your attention, time, and energy as they move forward to drag you down the negativity spiral.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-19 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

Do You Find it Hard to Forgive and Forget Someone? Here Are Some Ways that Will Truly Let you Forgive and Forget

It is a very common phenomenon when someone says they are not able to forgive or forget a specific incident specifically when it involves a relationship. Letting go is often the most difficult thing to accomplish. You may have heard that forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. Perhaps because forgiving is not easy, specifically, when some deeds do not appear worthy of forgiveness. However, the difficult work is worth it. It has been seen that positive psychology has found forgiveness can be helpful in dealing with symptoms of depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder.

Forgiving can give personal peace and also improve physical health. How? Because forgiveness is not just about making other person feel good about their transgressions. It is also, about lightening the mental weight that their transgressions have left upon you. This lightening impact is not simply metaphorical.

In the year of 2014 study published in Social Psychological and Personality Science, 160 persons were divided into three groups. One group mentioned an incident in which they had been gravely hurt, but decided to forgive their offender; another group said about a time in which they are yet to forgiven an offender, and a control group mentioned a neutral interaction with a friend. All those participants were then guided through a mock fitness drill in which they had to jump as high as they could five times. The participants who had said about forgiveness jumped significantly higher compared to those in the unforgiving set.

Are you amongst those who find it hard to forgive or forget? This blog by Delhi’s Top Psychologist, Marriage Counselor, and Relationship Expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo says here are some ways that will truly let you forgive and forget.

Bring to Light

Be absolute honest with yourself about your anger and pain, and analyze the complete damage the injustice has caused in your life. If your parent made you feel inadequate while growing up, does your self-esteem still suffers? Do you search for love and validation in an unhealthy manner?

Determine

You need to make the conscious decision to forgive those who harmed you, and give up on any vengeful conduct on your part. If an office colleague once stole an idea of yours, say, and you have been denying him/her credit on other projects ever since this is time to change your method. The negativity and anger you stick to would not do you any good in the long run.

Act

It takes work to understand and empathize with a person who has hurt you. Here you need to ask yourself a certain question: What was life like for this individual while growing up? What psychological wounds he/she might be nursing? What added pressures or stresses was the individual experiencing at that moment he/she offended you? Then thought of a small gift, if you could offer that person. It could be a simple smile, a handshake or a hug, a returned phone call or message, or simply more tolerance the next moment you are with them. Bear in mind, though, that forgiveness and reconciliation are never the same. If you were living or are in an abusive relationship of any sort, your forgiveness might and should come from afar.

Discover

Look for meaning and purpose in what you have been through. How could you help others who may be hurting? If you have been a victim of any physical or mental bias, for instance, you may decide to become more active in some humanitarian issues. In the emotional relief of letting it go, you can even discover the paradox of forgiveness: As you give to others the gifts of mercy, kindness, generosity, and moral love, you yourself get healed.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-19 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

Do You Know That Crying, Has Its Own Benefits?

Is crying beneficial for you? The answer is yes. While crying is expected in babies and young kids, whether it is because of pain, anger, fear, lack of communication skills, or any other reasons—adults also cry from time to time. On average, women cry more than 5 times per month and men cry at least once a month. These crying episodes vary anywhere from having tears well up in the eyes or complete sobbing. Psychologist Shivani says, in addition to emotional tears, your body also utilizes tears to physically protect the eyes from harm.

There are 3 kinds of tears each having different purposes. Crying has both emotional and physical benefits, and your body has several ways of producing tears to achieve those benefits. The physical benefits of crying include keeping your eyes lubricated, clean as tears wash away debris and germs that may damage your eye or cause infection. While many a time the emotional tears could provide relief from stress. The three kinds of tears include:

Basal tears: These tears stay continuously in your eyes and maintain eye health. It lubricates your eyes and protects your cornea.

Reflex tears: These also protect your eyes; your body utilizes them to flush out things, like the stray eyelash, dust, smoke, and also the fumes from onions.

Emotional tears: Your body produces tears in response to several emotional states: not just sadness, but also during happiness and fear.

Let us find out the benefits of crying here in the blog, by Delhi’s top psychologist and marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo.

Emotional Tears Might Help Your Body Release Stress

Psycho-emotional tears contain no physical benefits for the health of your eyes. But emotional tears might flush out stress hormones and other toxins from your body. Some studies have found higher concentrations of specific proteins in emotional tears than in basal or reflex tears. Although more research is required for conclusive evidence, some hypothesize that emotional tears purge the body of stress-related substances.

Crying in a Supportive Environment Makes One Feel Better

Emotional tears could also be a communication tool for adults, suggesting a need for social support. When someone cries with a close friend or a family member nearby, the person mostly feels better after crying. That social support can assist the person resolve a conflict or help the person who is crying better understand the event that occurred that caused the tears. This results in an individual feeling better after crying. In contrast, persons who try to avoid crying or who cry and do not receive social support are less probably to feel better.

Tears of Children Indicates a Need for Care

While it might be frustrating for adults, it is essential for children to cry, for their physical and emotional health. Without hearing an infant cry, parents and caregivers may not immediately know that the baby requires the assistance of some sort, be it is emotional comfort or some other type of care. Babies and kids also cry because of pain as a non-verbal mode to request the care of an adult.

Some Emotional Tears Signal When It Is Time to Seek Professional Help

Frequent emotional crying could be a sign that the person requires to call a professional for help with a mental health issue, like depression. Other signs of depression include feelings of hopelessness or worthlessness; problem sleeping or sleeping excessively, having difficulty making decisions; losing interest in kinds of stuff that were once pleasurable; and thoughts of suicide. When frequent crying is accompanied by other signs of depression, call a professional.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-19 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.