Marriage Counsellor and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

Signs You’ve Found a Therapist Who Truly Understands Couples

Let’s face it — no relationship is perfect. Even the strongest marriages can hit rough patches where communication breaks down, resentment builds, and emotional distance creeps in. When couples start to feel more like roommates or adversaries than partners, marriage counselling often becomes the next step. But walking into a therapist’s office is just the beginning. What really determines the success of therapy isn’t just the willingness of the couple — it’s whether the therapist truly gets both individuals, and more importantly, the relationship between them.

Not every therapist is skilled in working with couples. Some may apply individual therapy tools to a joint problem, while others may unintentionally take sides or fail to understand the emotional dance happening beneath the surface. That’s why finding the right therapist — someone who understands how couples work, fight, connect, and grow — is crucial. This is what India’s best couples’ therapist and marriage counsellor, Shivani Misri Sadhoo, has to say via this article.

How Do You Know You’ve Found a Therapist Who Truly Understands Couples?

It’s not always obvious at first, but there are some clear signs you can look for — and feel — during your sessions, says Delhi’s top Gottman Certified Level 3 couples counselor Shivani Sadhoo.

They Focus on the Relationship, Not Just Two Individuals

A therapist who understands couples doesn’t just listen to each partner separately — they tune into the dynamic between you. They pay attention to how you talk to and about each other, how conflict patterns unfold, and how emotional needs are (or aren’t) being met. Instead of taking sides, they help each person see how they contribute to the cycle — and how to shift it together.

Both Partners Feel Heard and Safe

You should never feel like one person is being favoured or blamed. A skilled couples therapist creates a space where both people feel respected, validated, and safe to be vulnerable — even when the truth is hard to hear. If you leave sessions feeling ganged up on or ignored, that’s a red flag. The best therapists are emotionally attuned and make room for both voices, even when the pain is loud.

They Help You Understand the “Why” Beneath the Fights

Arguments about dishes or text messages are rarely about the dishes or the phone. A therapist who understands couples will gently guide you to the deeper layers — the fear of rejection, the longing for connection, the pain of unmet needs. They’re not just refereeing fights; they’re helping you understand what those fights are really about.

Progress Feels Measurable — Even if It’s Small

Good couples therapy doesn’t mean all problems disappear overnight. But you should start noticing small shifts: less reactive fights, moments of emotional closeness, more awareness of triggers, or new tools to manage conflict. A therapist who knows what they’re doing will help you track that growth and keep moving forward, not just recycle the same complaints week after week.

They Challenge You — Lovingly

A therapist who truly understands couples doesn’t just nod and sympathise. They challenge your assumptions, call out your defence mechanisms, and gently hold up a mirror — all with the goal of helping you reconnect, not criticise. Growth can be uncomfortable, and the right therapist doesn’t shy away from that discomfort. Instead, they help you work through it with compassion.

They Work to Help You Stay Together — Not Just “Manage the Breakup”

One of the clearest signs that you’ve found a therapist who truly understands couples is their commitment to helping you stay together, not subtly steering you toward separation. While a good therapist will never force a relationship to continue if it’s unhealthy or unsafe, they also don’t treat struggles as automatic signs that the marriage is doomed.

Instead, they come from a place of hope, assuming that most relationships can heal with the right tools, effort, and understanding. They explore what brought you together, what still exists between you, and what can be rebuilt. They believe in reconciliation where it’s possible and help you fight for your relationship, not just within it. If your therapist seems more invested in helping you reconnect than just exit gracefully, that’s a strong sign you’re with someone who truly understands the heart of couples work.

Marriage counselling can be one of the most transformative experiences in a relationship, but only when you’re in the hands of someone who genuinely understands the complexity of couplehood. The right therapist doesn’t just offer advice; they become a guide, helping you and your partner rediscover each other, repair emotional wounds, and rebuild the connection that brought you together in the first place.

If you find yourself leaving sessions feeling heard, challenged, and more hopeful than when you walked in, chances are you’ve found the right match. And in therapy, just like in love, the right match makes all the difference.

In our fast-paced, digitally connected world, it’s ironic how often we can feel disconnected — not from others, but from ourselves. You may find yourself going through the motions of daily life, ticking off tasks, attending meetings, chatting with friends — yet feeling a persistent void within. This emotional hollowness, often hard to describe, is more common than you think. And it deserves your attention, says Shivani Misri Sadhoo, one of India’s leading relationship experts and marriage counsellors.

What Is the Feeling of Emptiness?

Emptiness is not just about being bored or sad. It’s a deeper, more lingering state of emotional numbness or a sense that something crucial is missing in your life. You may feel emotionally drained, disconnected from yourself or others, or like you’re simply existing rather than living. People describe it as a “void,” “blank space,” or even like “floating in a bubble” that separates them from reality.

This internal vacuum isn’t always dramatic or obvious. In fact, it can subtly shape your thoughts and behavior — causing you to lose interest in things you once loved, feel detached in relationships, or struggle with motivation. It’s often tied to issues like unresolved trauma, depression, anxiety, grief, or even a lack of purpose or self-worth.

Why Might You Feel Empty Inside?

Unresolved emotional pain can quietly build up over time. We often suppress difficult emotions like grief, heartbreak, rejection, or trauma, believing it’s easier than facing them. But these unresolved experiences can eventually leave us feeling empty.

A lack of purpose or meaning is another common cause. When life becomes routine, without any direction or deeper motivation, a sense of hollowness can creep in. Even when everything looks fine on the outside — a job, social life, or achievements — the inside may still feel unfulfilled.

Feeling emotionally disconnected from others can also lead to this void. You might be surrounded by people yet feel isolated, especially if your interactions lack depth or authenticity. When we don’t feel truly understood or accepted, loneliness can quickly turn into emptiness.

Low self-worth plays a significant role too. When we constantly feel inadequate or not “enough,” it erodes our inner foundation. This often comes from childhood conditioning, societal expectations, or toxic relationships that make us question our value.

In many cases, this feeling is linked to mental health conditions like depression or anxiety. These aren’t just emotional states — they involve real chemical and neurological factors that impact how we feel, think, and relate to the world.

How to Address the Feeling of Emptiness?

Start by acknowledging your feelings. Don’t try to push them away or distract yourself with overworking, scrolling, or binge-watching. Instead, sit with the emotion and accept that it’s okay to feel this way. Recognising your pain is the first step toward healing.

• Explore what might be at the root of this feeling. Ask yourself reflective questions: When did this start? What changed? Are there emotional wounds I’ve avoided confronting? Writing in a journal or talking with someone you trust can help clarify your inner state.

• Look for meaning in small things. It doesn’t have to be life-changing. Purpose can come from creative hobbies, spending time in nature, volunteering, or simply nurturing relationships. Little acts of intention can start filling the empty space inside.

• Nurture emotional connections. Try opening up to someone about how you’re feeling — vulnerability creates room for genuine connection. Seek out communities or support groups where you can be your authentic self. Feeling seen and heard can be incredibly healing.

• Take care of your mental health. If this feeling continues to interfere with your life, don’t hesitate to seek help from a therapist or counsellor. They can guide you through the process of understanding and healing. Reaching out is not weakness — it’s courage.

Above all, be kind to yourself. Talk to yourself gently, like you would to someone you love. You’re not alone in this, and it’s okay to take time to find your way back to emotional fullness.

Feeling empty inside doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. It means your inner self is asking to be heard, nurtured, and understood. When you stop ignoring that quiet voice and start listening with compassion, you’ll begin to rediscover meaning, connection, and the fullness of being alive.

We do not live in a perfect world, and no relationship is flawless. It is quite natural for all relationships to go through ups and downs. Conflicts and disagreements are bound to happen, even in the most loving families.

According to psychologists, the fact that parents fight is not the real issue—what truly matters is how they resolve those fights, with maturity and a balanced point of view. When parents manage their disagreements with calm, maturity, and mutual respect, some arguments can actually be constructive and can teach kids valuable lessons about communication and compromise.

Children are vulnerable. They are innocent. For them, parents are the primary source of safety and stability. So, when they see their parents yelling or arguing, they feel insecure and scared. This kind of toxic environment can leave an indelible mark on their young minds—sometimes with long-term psychological consequences.

How can You Safeguard Your Children during Couple Arguments?

Shivani Misri Sadhoo, one of the top couples therapists in Delhi, shares a few tips and tricks on how to protect children when couples argue.

1. Don’t Raise Your Voice

Parenting is tough, no doubt, and an argument between a couple can’t always be avoided. However, how we handle these arguments matters most, especially in front of our children. When voices are raised, the impact on a child can be deeper than we imagine. They may not always show it, but they’re soaking in every word, every tone, and every reaction. A loud argument can leave them feeling unsafe or anxious, and over time, they may begin to mirror that behavior.

Kids don’t just hear us—they learn from us. If we shout when we’re upset, they may grow up thinking that’s how stress or disagreement is supposed to be handled. But if we can stay calm, even when things get heated, we’re teaching them strength, patience, and emotional stability. It’s not about being perfect parents—it’s about being conscious ones, especially when little ears and hearts are in the room.

2. Maintain Privacy

A good way to handle arguments between couples is to keep them behind closed doors. Children feel uncomfortable and emotionally unsafe when their parents fight in front of them, even unintentionally. They often have difficulty understanding the full context of disagreements, which can cause confusion, fear, or even a false sense of responsibility.

The privacy of the argument doesn’t make the argument harmless, but it shields the children from the emotional baggage of the argument. While kids can still sense tension in the air, watching it unfold directly is far more damaging. The separation of their children from conflict allows them to feel secure and emotionally stable while also allowing their parents to resolve issues without involving their children.

3. Keep Children Away From The Fights

Keeping kids out of a heated debate is one of the best things parents can do. Children should never be forced to mediate disputes between their parents or be pulled into adult disputes. Children who witness violent arguments, particularly if they feel compelled to choose a side, may become confused, emotionally conflicted, and even hold themselves accountable for the hostility at home.

No child should have to bear the burden of their parents’ problems or feel bad about something that is out of their control. They should be able to grow up without the emotional upheaval of adult arguments, in an environment where they feel safe, secure, and unconditionally loved by both parents.

4. Be Frank With Your Child

Make sure to have a heart-to-heart chat with your child, gently explaining that not all arguments are bad. Let them know that sometimes parents do fight, but that doesn’t mean something is wrong. In fact, some disagreements can lead to healthy conversations and help people understand each other better.

Reassure them that even when people argue, it doesn’t take away the love and care they have for one another. Tell them, “We still love you, and we still love each other.” It’s important to stay calm and help them see that just like they might have small fights with friends at school and then make up later, grown-ups do the same.

5. Seek Professional Guidance

Sometimes, it takes an outside perspective to truly understand what’s going wrong truly. If you’ve fought with your partner in front of your child, don’t be too hard on yourself—it happens. But if these arguments are becoming frequent or turning into shouting matches filled with insults, swearing, or slammed doors, it might be time to seek professional help.

No parent wants their child to carry the emotional weight of constant conflict at home. Counselling or therapy can offer a safe space to work through issues, using practical, proven methods to help couples communicate better and find healthier ways to handle disagreements.

Children deserve a safe, loving environment in which to grow. When parents stay calm, sort out issues in private, and keep little ones away from heated moments, they create a safer space for their children. Reassuring kids with love and honesty and seeking help when needed shows real strength. It’s okay to argue—just protect those tender hearts through it all.

Falling in love is a mesmerizing experience—a whirlwind of emotions, deep connection, and unwavering trust. It’s the invisible thread that binds two souls together, creating a foundation of security and intimacy. But what happens when that trust is shattered? The very bedrock of your relationship begins to crack, leaving behind a chasm of pain, confusion, and disillusionment. Betrayal—whether through infidelity, deceit, or hidden truths—can shake a relationship to its core, making it feel as though everything once cherished is now slipping away.

Does this mean the relationship is beyond redemption? Not necessarily. While some choose to walk away, seeing betrayal as an irreparable wound, others see it as an opportunity to rebuild—albeit through a painful and arduous journey. Healing after betrayal is not for the faint-hearted, but for those willing to undertake the challenge, it can be a transformative process that redefines love, trust, and commitment.

Guide – How to regain trust after betrayal? Answers Relationship Expert Shivani Sadhoo shares

If you find yourself standing at this emotional crossroads, unwilling to give up just yet, here are expert-backed strategies from Shivani Misri Sadhoo, India’s top couples and marriage counselor, on how to regain trust after betrayal.

Identify The Root Cause

The first step in rebuilding trust after betrayal is understanding why it happened. Betrayal is painful. No doubt about that. But before deciding to give your partner another chance, you need to figure out what led to it. Did they do it to protect themselves, or was there another reason? Maybe they were trying to shield you from bad news, handle a financial problem, or support a family member. Sometimes, a simple misunderstanding or miscommunication can make matters worse. Thus, it is better to know the cause and then act upon it.

Talk It Out

The next best thing you can do after betrayal is to have a heart-to-heart conversation with your partner. Open and honest communication helps clear misunderstandings, express emotions, and rebuild trust. It creates a safe space where both partners can share their fears and expectations without judgment. The betrayed person should feel free to ask questions, while the betrayer must answer truthfully. Patience is key, and avoiding stonewalling is important. Talking openly helps in healing, strengthens the bond, and paves the way for a hopeful future.

Embrace Empathy

Sometimes, seeing the situation from the other person’s perspective can be tough, but empathy plays a crucial role in rebuilding lost trust. It’s not about excusing betrayal but understanding the deeper reasons behind it, which can aid healing. True empathy goes beyond acknowledging feelings—it requires actively grasping the depth of someone’s pain. The betrayer must do more than apologize; they must offer genuine emotional support. Meanwhile, the betrayed must remain open to understanding, though without justifying the betrayal.

Boundaries are important

In order to rebuild trust after betrayal, setting clear boundaries is essential for both partners. Boundaries create security, allowing the betrayed person to heal while ensuring both individuals understand what is acceptable. These may include transparency about whereabouts, avoiding tempting situations, and reinforcing respect and commitment. Emotional needs, such as space, time, and regular check-ins, should also be addressed. By mutually agreeing on these boundaries, both partners can foster healing, prevent future betrayals, and establish a stronger, more secure relationship.

Forgive, not Forget

Perhaps the most challenging aspect of betrayal is finding the strength to forgive. Yet, forgiveness is essential for healing and rebuilding trust, though it requires genuine remorse and effort from both sides. It’s a conscious decision, not a justification for the betrayal, but a way to release resentment and make space for growth. Holding onto self-blame can trap you in doubt, hindering recovery. Forgiving empowers you to move forward while giving your partner the chance to learn, grow, and restore the relationship.

Consult An Expert

Seeking help from a relationship counselor or therapist can be a wise step in healing after betrayal. Not all relationships must end in heartbreak, and there is no shame in asking for guidance. Therapy provides a neutral space to address emotions, rebuild trust, and develop healthier communication. A trained therapist helps uncover deep-seated wounds, offers coping strategies, and prevents repeating harmful patterns. With the right support, couples can navigate complex emotions, set boundaries, and find a path toward reconciliation and renewed connection.

There is always light at the end of the tunnel if both partners are willing to heal together. Rebuilding trust takes time, honest communication, empathy, clear boundaries, and forgiveness. Seeking expert guidance can further strengthen the journey. With patience and effort, love can be redefined, making the relationship even stronger than before.

Finding love in today’s digital world can feel like a thrilling adventure or a daunting challenge. With just a swipe or a click, you can meet potential partners from across the globe. But how do you cut through the noise of endless profiles to find someone who genuinely aligns with your goals? While dating apps have made the process convenient, they’ve also introduced complexities that weren’t present in the era of handwritten love letters or classic movie nights of the 1980s.

How do you navigate this modern maze of romance? Can creating the right dating profile really be the key to finding someone special—and perhaps, even leading to marriage?

To answer these questions, Shivani Misri Sadhoo, India’s top couples therapist and relationship counsellor shares her expert tips to craft a dating profile that reflects your true self and attracts the right kind of partner for a meaningful, lasting relationship.

1. Be Authentic when creating your dating profile

Perhaps the first and foremost thing to do when creating a dating profile is to be honest and authentic. Misrepresenting yourself or pretending to be flawless won’t help you find the right person. Be clear about what you want, whether it’s companionship or a lifelong partner, and embrace your imperfections with self-respect. Authenticity is magnetic and shows you value yourself and your journey. Being genuine helps attract someone who truly appreciates you for who you are.

2. Add Your Hobbies and Interests to Your Dating Profile

Always remember, that a successful dating profile should be fun, inviting, and full of personality. Use the 3 Cs— colour, context, and character—to tell your story and stand out. Highlight your hobbies, interests, and how you spend weekends. Focus on passions, like things you love doing, rather than problems.

Take advantage of the dating apps, to add details about work, family, and favourite activities. Keep it lighthearted and engaging to make online dating enjoyable for you and your matches.

3. Get To Know Your Potential Partner

Many times, while creating an attractive dating profile, we focus on showcasing ourselves but forget to express interest in knowing our potential partner. People value being known and supported, especially by romantic partners, where this understanding feels unique. Research shows that the most appealing profiles highlight a genuine desire to know and support a partner. The promise of being truly understood attracts others, as the need to feel known is a fundamental human desire.

4. Do Not Leave Any Gaps

Incomplete dating profiles are a big letdown. They show a lack of effort and interest, which can leave a poor first impression. First impressions matter, especially on dating apps, where your profile is the only way strangers get to know you.

Don’t approach it with a defeatist attitude, thinking it won’t work. A pessimistic outlook is never attractive and will only drive potential matches away. Take the time to complete your profile thoughtfully—it’s worth it.

5. Post Current Photo

Your face is a mirror to your mind, reflecting your true self. It’s important to be remembered for who you are today, not how you looked years ago in high school. Always post current photos when dating, as your partner wants to see the real you.

Outdated pictures often lead to mismatched expectations and disappointment. Include a mix of photos like headshots, full-body shots, and candid moments that reveal your hobbies and personality. Use clear, well-lit, high-resolution images. Avoid filters, as they can create a false impression. Show your true self with confidence.

6. Make Your Intentions Clear

There is no need to play hide and seek with your potential dating partner. Be upfront about your expectations from the start. If you’re unsure about what you want, it’s okay to admit it. Say that you’d like to explore compatibility and see where the relationship leads. If you’re someone who doesn’t enjoy mind games, make it clear what that means for you. Let them know you want a connection without unnecessary drama, chaos, or emotional baggage. Honesty sets the right foundation for any relationship.

In a nutshell, creating an effective dating profile requires authenticity, showcasing your hobbies and interests, and expressing a genuine desire to know your potential partner. Complete your profile thoughtfully, post current photos, and be clear about your intentions. By embracing these tips, you can craft a profile that reflects your true self and attracts a meaningful, lasting connection.

Life isn’t always smooth, and relationships—whether romantic, familial, or friendships—come with their fair share of ups and downs. Suddenly something still feels off. Maybe the conversations have lost depth, intimacy feels more like an obligation or the emotional closeness you once cherished seems distant. If this resonates with you, it might be time to address intimacy issues before the gap grows wider.

If you’ve ever felt like you and your partner are merely coexisting rather than truly connecting, you’re not alone. Many relationships appear fine on the surface—there’s no major conflict, you function as a team, and others might even admire your bond.

But deep inside, there’s an unsettling emptiness, a sense that something crucial is missing. Often, this missing piece is intimacy—not just physical but emotional, too. Marriage and relationship counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares a few tips and tricks to resolve these intimacy issues in a relationship or marriage.

How to solve intimacy issues in a relationship or marriage?

1. Find Out The Root Cause

The first step in resolving intimacy issues in a relationship is identifying the root cause. Intimacy isn’t limited to physical connection; emotional and intellectual intimacy are just as significant. Emotional intimacy involves sharing deep thoughts and feelings, while intellectual intimacy is about connecting through meaningful conversations and shared opinions.

Understanding which form of intimacy is lacking can help uncover underlying issues, such as past trauma, fear of vulnerability, or communication barriers, making it easier to address and resolve the problem.

2. Communicate Effectively

One of the best ways to resolve intimacy issues in a relationship or marriage is through effective communication. Open and honest conversations, where both partners express their feelings, concerns, and desires, create trust and understanding.

It’s vital to approach these talks with empathy, patience, and active listening, ensuring both partners feel heard and validated. By discussing what works and what needs improvement, couples can reconnect and work together to strengthen their emotional and physical bond.

3. ‘Shared Reality’ Helps

Sometimes, couples face challenges in emotional, physical, and intellectual intimacy due to a lack of understanding and alignment. This is where “shared reality” comes in—a concept that refers to both partners having a mutual understanding and agreement on their experiences, values, and needs. When a couple is “on the same page,” it allows them to address issues more effectively. For example, if one partner feels neglected emotionally, but the other isn’t aware, sharing their emotional realities helps bridge the gap, leading to a better connection.

In terms of physical intimacy, understanding each other’s boundaries and desires promotes a more comfortable and satisfying relationship. Similarly, shared reality in intellectual intimacy allows partners to engage in deeper conversations, respecting each other’s views, which strengthens their bond. This helps couples to navigate challenges better, leading to a more fulfilling and connected relationship.

4. Quality Time Matters

Amid the hustle of daily life, spending quality time together can significantly strengthen intimacy in a relationship. It’s about being emotionally present, giving each other undivided attention, and engaging in meaningful moments.

Whether it’s sharing a quiet evening or discussing dreams and challenges, these moments deepen the connection. Focus on each other. That’s how partners create a sense of being valued, heard, and understood, which strengthens their emotional bond.

5. Consult An Expert

If none of these tricks helps, seeking expert guidance can be a valuable step in resolving intimacy issues in a relationship or marriage. A therapist, counsellor, or mediator brings an unbiased perspective to the table, free from the emotional complexities that often cloud communication between partners.

They offer strategies to navigate tough conversations, helping both individuals express their feelings openly and understand each other’s viewpoints. Professional help is not a sign of failure, but rather a proactive approach to strengthening the relationship. Sometimes, having an expert facilitate discussions can lead to deeper understanding and renewed connection.

In A Nutshell

Every problem has a solution, and intimacy issues in relationships are no different. By understanding the root cause, communicating openly, creating a shared reality, spending quality time together, and seeking expert help when needed, couples can rebuild their emotional and physical connection, strengthening their bond for a fulfilling partnership.

In an ever-evolving world of dating and relationships, new terms and concepts often emerge to describe different behaviours and experiences. One of those terms gaining attention is “floodlighting.” In dating contexts, floodlighting means the act of overwhelming your partner or potential romantic interest having intense emotions, personal confessions, or deep vulnerabilities pretty early in the relationship.

This could create a sense of emotional overload, leaving the other person feeling pressured or uncertain about the rapid progression of intimacy, discloses leading couples therapist Shivani Misri Sadhoo.

What is Floodlighting?

Floodlighting is mostly driven by an urge for a deep connection, but it could inadvertently push people instead of bringing them closer. It usually happens when one person shares highly personal or emotionally heavy details about his/her life too soon in the relationship. This may include discussing past traumas, fears, insecurities, or deep intimate experiences before the base of trust has been established.

While openness and vulnerability are important in any healthy relationship, floodlighting happens when these aspects are introduced at an excessive pace. The receiver of the floodlighting might feel caught off guard, uncertain of how to respond, or even burdened with emotional responsibility that they are not currently prepared to handle.

What are the Signs of Floodlighting in Dating?

If you are puzzling about whether you or someone you are dating is engaging in floodlighting, here are some of the common signs:

1. Excessive Sharing Too Soon – Talk about your deeply personal experiences, past traumas, or unsolved emotional wounds within the first few dates.
2. Intense Emotional Expression – Displaying love, commitment, or deep feelings of attachment way too early in the relationship.
3. Seeking Instant Emotional Validation – Expecting your partner to reciprocate the same level of emotional intensity straight away.
4. Overwhelming Conversations – Making each conversation about deep, serious, or emotionally charged subjects rather than allowing natural progression.
5. Forming Unbalanced Emotional Dynamics – Making the other partner feel responsible for emotional support prior to a strong bond being formed.

Why Do People Floodlight?

Floodlighting could stem from several psychological and emotional factors, that include:

• Insecurity or Fear of Rejection – Certain individuals might floodlight in an effort to fast-track intimacy and look for reassurance.
• Past Emotional Neglect – Those individuals who have felt unheard or unvalidated in earlier relationships might use floodlighting as a mechanism to seek immediate emotional connection.
• Attachment Styles – A person with anxious attachment styles usually struggles with pacing emotional disclosure, leading towards floodlighting.
• Romantic Idealization – A few believe that love must be instant and intense, making them rush emotional intimacy.

How to Avoid Floodlighting in Dating?

If you identify floodlighting tendencies in yourself or a partner, think of these strategies to form a healthier emotional connection:

• Pace Your Emotional Sharing – Develop intimacy slowly and naturally rather than disclosing too much too soon.
• Practice Self-Awareness – Identify when your emotions are driving your actions and take a step back if necessary.
• Form Mutual Comfort Levels – Make sure both partners feel comfortable having the level of emotional depth being shared.
• Concentrate on Enjoying the Moment – Rather than rushing to form deep connections, allow time for the relationship to form organically.

Floodlighting in dating is a conduct that stems from a genuine urge for closeness, but it could often backfire due to an overwhelming romantic interest. Healthy relationships need a balanced way to emotional sharing, letting both partners feel safe, secure, easy, and engaged without any undue pressure. By being aware of emotional pacing and forming natural connections, individuals could form stronger, more lasting relationships sans the unintended outcomes of floodlighting.

We live in an era where relationships are no longer confined to traditional definitions. Love, commitment, and companionship have taken on various forms, often influenced by social media, dating apps, and evolving societal norms.

From situationships to ghosting, breadcrumbing to benching, modern relationship dynamics have become increasingly intricate. The once-clear distinction between casual and serious commitments has blurred, making many wonder: Are people afraid of long-term relationships? Can there be a relationship devoid of emotions?

If you’ve ever pondered whether such a connection is possible, psychologist and eminent relationship counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo sheds light on the concept of no-strings-attached (NSA) relationships and what they truly entail. 

What does No Strings Attached mean?

A “no strings attached” (NSA) relationship is all about passion without the weight of commitment. Whether romantic, sexual, or business-related, it thrives on mutual consent, freedom, and zero expectations. Think of it as an endless honeymoon phase—carefree, fun, and pressure-free—where no one anticipates a fairytale ending, just the joy of the moment.

What is the Psychology behind No Strings Attached?

The psychological factors that probably contribute to NSA are:

• Avoiding Emotional Vulnerability: Setting clear boundaries helps individuals protect themselves from potential hurt or disappointment if feelings develop.

• Freedom and Exploration: Allows both partners to experiment with different sexual dynamics and desires without the pressure of commitment.

• Emotional Independence: Ideal for those prioritizing personal growth or busy lifestyles, as it offers emotional freedom without the responsibilities of a committed relationship.

• Managing Expectations: Clearly defining the relationship as “no strings attached” minimizes misunderstandings about commitment levels.

• Individualistic Focus: Encourages prioritizing personal needs and desires over a partner’s, emphasizing personal agency and freedom.

• Exploration and Sexual Satisfaction: Provides a safe space to explore physical desires, experiment with preferences, and boosts sexual confidence.

What do You Gain in No Strings Attached?

1. No Need To Commit – If you are someone who isn’t ready to settle down, an NSA relationship can be ideal. With no pressure to commit, it offers convenience, freedom, and enjoyment without relationship-based responsibilities. There’s no exclusivity unless agreed upon, allowing individuals to engage with multiple partners. It’s a carefree way to explore connections without long-term obligations or vows.

2. Time is not a Constraint – In today’s fast-paced world, time is a luxury. An NSA (No Strings Attached) relationship offers the advantage of flexibility, allowing individuals to connect without the pressure of strict schedules or long-term commitments. Unlike traditional relationships, NSA interactions fit seamlessly into busy lifestyles, ensuring enjoyment without overwhelming obligations. With no need to coordinate availability, partners can focus on shared moments without sacrificing personal or professional priorities.

3. Self-Exploration – It helps you explore different relationship dynamics without commitment, giving insight into what you truly value in a partner. By experiencing various interactions, you become aware of traits you appreciate and those you cannot tolerate. This freedom boosts confidence, enhances communication, and allows self-discovery. A no-strings-attached arrangement helps you assess what works for you, ensuring you make informed choices when seeking a meaningful future relationship.

What Do We Lose?

1. Emotional Turmoil – The biggest drawback of an NSA relationship is the risk of emotional pain. When feelings get involved, someone often ends up hurt, feeling used or unvalued. If one partner develops deeper emotions while the other doesn’t, it leads to heartbreak. Though NSA relationships start with no expectations, they can still result in conflict and painful endings, making emotional detachment difficult in the long run.

2. Low Self-esteem – A “No Strings Attached” (NSA) relationship can negatively impact self-confidence by causing emotional detachment and feelings of being “used.” The lack of commitment may lead to anxiety, rejection fears, and self-doubt, especially if one person develops deeper feelings. Studies link casual sex to anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. While NSA can boost confidence temporarily, it often undermines self-worth in the long run.

3. Negative Impact on Mental and Physical Health -Casual relationships might seem risk-free, but they come with hidden health risks. Without commitment or accountability, the chances of STIs increase due to a lack of exclusivity. Another overlooked aspect is sexual aftercare—emotional and physical support after intimacy. In committed relationships, partners naturally care for each other’s well-being, but in casual encounters, this essential care is often missing, affecting both physical and emotional health.

In a nutshell, NSA relationships offer freedom, excitement, and self-exploration without the weight of commitment. However, they come with emotional risks, potential self-esteem issues, and health concerns. While they suit some, they may not be for everyone. Understanding personal boundaries and expectations is key to making informed choices in modern relationship dynamics.

Once the dating phase is over and you’re ready to take the big step into marriage, your mind is bound to be filled with questions. From financial responsibilities to emotional compatibility, family expectations, and future planning, there’s so much to consider before saying, “I do.” Even if you’ve touched upon some of these topics, there are still important conversations to have—especially before you embark on your honeymoon.

The honeymoon isn’t just a time for travel and romance; it’s an opportunity to understand your partner in a new light truly. This phase sets the foundation for your married life, allowing you to observe each other’s habits, expectations, and emotional needs in a more intimate setting.

What are the key things couples need to discuss before their honeymoon?

Shivani Misri Sadhoo, Delhi’s top marriage counsellor, and couples therapist shares seven essential things that every couple should discuss before their honeymoon.

Money Matters

Setting a budget before heading on your honeymoon is a must. It helps you enjoy your trip without financial stress. Consider travel, accommodation, food, and activities while planning. Don’t forget extra costs like shopping for loved ones.

Unexpected expenses can come up, so keep a little extra aside. A well-planned budget ensures a smooth and memorable honeymoon without overspending or regrets later. Smart planning makes the trip more enjoyable.

Choose Your Destination Wisely

Choosing the right honeymoon destination is crucial for a memorable start to your journey together. You may dream of adventure—skydiving, scuba diving, or trekking—while she longs for a peaceful beach retreat, watching waves dance like fairies in a folktale.

If expectations don’t align, disappointment may follow. Sit down, discuss, and find a destination that excites both of you. A well-planned honeymoon ensures happiness, harmony, and cherished moments that last a lifetime.

Talk About The Menstrual Cycle

Talking about the menstrual cycle before your honeymoon is essential for a smooth and comfortable trip. It helps both partners set expectations and plan activities accordingly. Some women experience cramps, mood swings, or fatigue, which can affect their enjoyment. Knowing the cycle dates allows better scheduling and avoids unexpected stress.

If the honeymoon coincides with her period, discussing options like medication, rest, or adjusting plans ensures a stress-free experience. Open communication strengthens understanding, care, and intimacy in the relationship.

Birth Control

Another important topic to discuss before your honeymoon is birth control. Planning ahead can help prevent unwanted pregnancies, reducing physical, emotional, and financial stress. Sharing responsibility for birth control strengthens your relationship and ensures peace of mind. It’s important to talk about your options and decide what works best for both of you. Some methods take time to become effective, so early planning is key. After all, you want to focus on enjoying your honeymoon without worries.

Set Boundaries

When you set boundaries in a relationship, it is not about restricting each other but about creating a safe and respectful space. Both partners should decide together what is acceptable and what is not. Open discussions about privacy, intimacy, and social interactions help avoid misunderstandings.

This is especially important before a honeymoon, where clear expectations about personal space, finances, and activities prevent conflicts. Talking about comfort levels ensures a stress-free and enjoyable time together, strengthening the bond.

Likes and Dislikes

Do you want your honeymoon to be a dream come true rather than a stressful trip filled with disagreements? Understanding each other’s preferences, likes, and dislikes is the key. Before setting off, couples should openly discuss what they want to do, see, and eat.

This helps avoid misunderstandings and ensures both partners feel included. When both know what the other enjoys, they can plan activities that suit their interests, making the trip more fun, memorable, and fulfilling for both.

Shared Values

If you really want your honeymoon to be the start of a strong and lasting marriage, deep conversations about values are a must. You and your partner won’t agree on everything, and that’s okay. What matters is understanding each other’s perspectives and respecting differences. Shared values don’t mean identical opinions but rather a common understanding of what truly matters. This helps build trust, avoid unnecessary conflicts, and create a bond that can withstand life’s ups and downs.

A honeymoon is more than just a getaway—it’s the first step in your married journey. Open conversations about money, travel plans, health, boundaries, and values create a strong foundation for a happy marriage. When couples understand and respect each other’s needs, they build trust, deepen love, and create memories that last a lifetime.

Divorce can be one of the most challenging experiences in life, bringing emotional turmoil, uncertainty, and a need for reinvention. Whether the separation was amicable or contentious, the transition can feel overwhelming. However, life after divorce is not just about coping—it is about healing and rebuilding a fulfilling future.

How do you heal and start rebuilding after a divorce?

Here’s how you can embark on this journey as shared by couples therapist and marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo.

Allow Yourself to Grieve

Divorce represents the end of a significant chapter in your life. It is natural to experience a mix of emotions, including sadness, anger, guilt, and even relief. Suppressing these feelings can prolong the healing process. Allow yourself to grieve and process your emotions. Seeking professional counseling or joining support groups can help you navigate this emotional phase more effectively.

Rediscover Yourself

Marriage often involves compromise, sometimes at the expense of personal aspirations and interests. Post-divorce life is an opportunity to reconnect with yourself. Engage in activities that bring you joy—whether it’s travelling, painting, fitness, or learning a new skill. Embracing your individuality will help you regain confidence and create a fresh identity.

Establish a Support System

Surround yourself with positive influences—family, friends, and support groups who uplift and encourage you. Avoid isolating yourself, as loneliness can intensify feelings of despair. Talking about your experiences and emotions with trusted people can provide comfort and perspective.

Take Charge of Your Finances

Divorce often comes with financial adjustments. If you are dependent on your spouse financially, take proactive steps to gain financial independence. Create a budget, manage expenses wisely, and consider consulting a financial advisor to plan for future stability. Understanding your finances will empower you to make informed decisions about your future.

Prioritize Self-Care

Your well-being should be your top priority. Focus on both physical and mental health. Regular exercise, a balanced diet, and adequate sleep can significantly improve your mood and energy levels. Meditation, yoga, or therapy can help manage stress and foster emotional resilience.

Set New Goals

A new chapter in life means new opportunities. Set realistic and meaningful goals—whether personal, professional, or relational. It could be advancing your career, starting a business, or forming new social connections. Having goals provides direction and a sense of purpose.

Embrace New Relationships Cautiously

Jumping into a new relationship immediately after divorce may not be the best decision. Take time to heal and understand what you truly want in a partner. When you are emotionally ready, approach dating with an open yet cautious mindset. Prioritize personal growth before committing to someone new.

Seek Professional Help if Needed

If you find yourself struggling to move on, seeking therapy or professional counseling can be beneficial. A trained therapist can provide guidance, coping strategies, and a safe space to work through unresolved emotions.

Life after divorce can be daunting, but it is also an opportunity for growth and renewal. Healing takes time, but with self-care, support, and a positive outlook, you can rebuild a life that is fulfilling and meaningful. Embrace this new beginning with hope and confidence—your best days are yet to come.