Marriage Counsellor and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

Gone are the days when we celebrated milestones privately with friends and family. Social media has transformed how we connect, and now a simple post or story often replaces intimate gatherings. While social media offers a convenient way to share our lives, it can blur the lines between what should remain private and what we choose to make public.

What things should you not post about your relationship on social media?

Relationship expert and Delhi’s leading marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo, warns against oversharing, as it can sometimes harm the very relationships we’re trying to celebrate. Here are six things you should avoid sharing about your relationship online:

Avoid Seeking External Validation

Your relationship doesn’t need public approval to be meaningful. Constantly posting about it for likes or comments can add unnecessary pressure and reflect insecurity. Healthy relationships thrive privately without the need for a social media audience. Sharing too much can force emotions to grow based on external validation rather than letting love develop naturally between you two.

Get Your Partner’s Consent

Sharing photos or personal details about your partner without their approval can invade their privacy. Just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean you can share everything publicly. Always ask for your partner’s consent before tagging them in posts or sharing pictures. Respecting their comfort level is crucial to building trust and ensuring they feel valued. By doing so, you also strengthen your bond by showing that their opinions matter.

Don’t Post About Conflicts

Every relationship has disagreements, but venting about arguments on social media is a bad idea. Sharing conflicts publicly can hurt your partner and lead others to form negative opinions about your relationship. Online advice from friends, though well-meaning, may also cause more harm than good. Instead, resolve issues privately with your partner. Posting in moments of anger can lead to regret and long-term damage to the relationship.

Don’t Brag About Gifts

While it’s exciting to receive gifts, constantly posting them on social media can come across as bragging. Your partner might prefer to keep these moments private and may feel uncomfortable with the attention. Plus, trying to make your relationship appear more extravagant than it is can create pressure and unrealistic expectations. Instead of sharing every gift online, cherish these moments together without seeking validation from others.

Limit Frequent Status Updates

Constantly updating your relationship status online—whether it’s changing from single to in a relationship or making it “complicated”—can create unnecessary pressure. While it may feel gratifying at the moment, these updates often reflect instability and invite unwanted opinions from others. Focus on nurturing your relationship privately rather than publicly broadcasting each shift in your love life. What truly matters is the bond you share, not how others perceive it.

Don’t Post About Your Breakup

Breakups are hard enough without adding the complexity of social media. Posting about a breakup can lead to endless questions and amplify your feelings of sadness. Not everyone will respond positively, and you may regret sharing such a personal event. Instead, focus on healing privately and avoid publicizing the details of your breakup.

Let your relationship thrive away from the public eye. Avoid seeking external validation, sharing conflicts, or posting frequent updates. Respect your partner’s privacy and cherish special moments privately. Remember, the strength of your relationship lies in the bond you share, not in how it appears on social media.

Money plays a pivotal role in relationships, and significant income disparity can sometimes lead to feelings of resentment. While financial differences are common, the key to avoiding resentment is fostering understanding, communication, and mutual respect between partners.

How can you navigate this sensitive issue without causing tension in your relationship?

Shivani Misri Sadhoo, one of the top couples therapists in Delhi and Gurgaon explains how to deal with such a scenario in this blog.

Open and Honest Communication

The foundation of any healthy relationship is communication. If one partner earns significantly more, it’s important to have open conversations about finances. Discuss how the income disparity makes both of you feel. Some may experience feelings of inadequacy or frustration, while others may feel overwhelmed by financial responsibility. Talking about these feelings in a non-judgmental way helps both partners understand each other’s perspectives, creating a sense of emotional safety.

Tip: Set aside time for regular money conversations, where both partners can share their thoughts and goals.

Avoid Power Imbalance

One of the main triggers of resentment is when the higher-earning partner holds financial control or power over the other. This can create a dynamic where the lower-earning partner feels dependent, leading to frustration. To avoid this, both partners should feel like they have an equal say in financial decisions, even if the contributions are unequal.

Tip: Create a shared budget where both partners contribute proportionally based on their income. This ensures fairness while maintaining financial equity in the relationship.

Respect Each Other’s Contributions

Money isn’t the only contribution that matters in a relationship. The partner who earns less may still be contributing in significant ways, such as taking care of the household, managing family responsibilities, or providing emotional support. It’s important to value these non-financial contributions and acknowledge them as equally important to the partnership.

Tip: Express appreciation for the unique strengths and efforts each person brings to the relationship, regardless of income.

Set Mutual Financial Goals

Working towards common financial goals helps both partners feel aligned, regardless of their individual incomes. Whether it’s saving for a vacation, a house, or retirement, setting goals together creates a sense of partnership. Both partners can contribute in ways that feel meaningful to them, fostering a feeling of teamwork.

Tip: Review your financial goals as a couple regularly, making sure both partners are actively involved in the planning and decision-making.

Focus on the Bigger Picture

Income differences should not overshadow the love and commitment you share. Avoid comparing your financial situation to others or using money as a measure of success in your relationship. Instead, focus on what truly matters—emotional connection, mutual respect, and shared values. When you concentrate on the strengths of your relationship, the income disparity becomes less significant.

Tip: Celebrate the milestones you achieve together as a couple, no matter how big or small.

Navigating income disparity in a relationship requires effort from both partners. By focusing on communication, mutual respect, and shared goals, couples can avoid resentment and build a stronger partnership. Remember, it’s not the amount of money that determines the success of a relationship, but the way you manage it together.

The first month of marriage is a unique and exciting time for newlyweds. It’s a period of adjustment, discovery, and laying the foundation for a strong, enduring relationship. Long-lasting couples understand the importance of this time and take specific steps to ensure their bond remains strong as they move forward together. Here’s a look at what successful couples often do during their first month of marriage to set the tone for a lifetime of happiness as shared by Delhi NCR’s top couple’s therapist Shivani Misri Sadhoo in this blog.

What things do long-lasting couples do during the first month of their marriage?

According to marriage counselor Shivani Sadhoo, things long-lasting couples do in their first month of marriage are:

Open Communication

One of the most critical aspects of a healthy marriage is communication. Long-lasting couples make it a priority to talk openly and honestly with each other. They share their thoughts, feelings, and concerns, ensuring that they are on the same page. This openness helps prevent misunderstandings and fosters a sense of trust and security in the relationship.

During the first month, these couples often establish communication patterns that will carry them through their marriage. Whether it’s setting aside time each day to talk about their day or discussing their future goals and dreams, they make communication a cornerstone of their relationship.

Spending Quality Time Together

The first month of marriage is a special time to build memories and deepen the bond. Long-lasting couples make the most of this period by spending quality time together. This doesn’t necessarily mean elaborate dates or expensive outings. It can be as simple as cooking together, taking walks, or enjoying a movie night at home.

By prioritizing time together, they strengthen their connection and create a strong foundation for their marriage. This quality time helps them understand each other better and reinforces the love and commitment they share.

Setting Boundaries and Expectations

Every couple comes into marriage with their own set of expectations and boundaries. Long-lasting couples understand the importance of discussing and setting these early on. Whether it’s about finances, household responsibilities, or social interactions, having clear boundaries helps prevent conflicts later on.

During the first month, successful couples take the time to discuss their expectations for the relationship. They talk about their roles, responsibilities, and how they will handle challenges that may arise. This proactive approach helps ensure that both partners feel respected and understood.

Fostering Physical Intimacy

Physical intimacy is a vital aspect of a marriage. Long-lasting couples prioritize this aspect of their relationship from the very beginning. They understand that physical affection is not just about physical intimacy but also about maintaining a close, loving connection.

During the first month, these couples often explore each other’s needs and desires, ensuring that both partners feel satisfied and cherished. They make time for intimacy, whether through affectionate gestures, cuddling, or simply being close to each other. This focus on physical connection helps build a strong emotional bond that lasts throughout their marriage.

Being Supportive and Encouraging

Marriage is a partnership, and long-lasting couples know the importance of supporting and encouraging each other. In the first month, they make a conscious effort to be each other’s biggest cheerleaders. Whether it’s in their personal goals, careers, or hobbies, they offer support and encouragement.

This mutual support helps build a strong foundation of trust and respect. It shows that they are committed to each other’s growth and happiness, which is crucial for a lasting relationship.

Maintaining a Sense of Humor

Marriage comes with its challenges, and long-lasting couples know the importance of maintaining a sense of humor. They don’t take themselves too seriously and find ways to laugh together, even when things don’t go as planned.

In the first month, these couples often face minor challenges as they adjust to married life. Instead of letting these moments cause tension, they use humor to diffuse potential conflicts and keep things light-hearted. This ability to laugh together strengthens their bond and makes it easier to navigate the ups and downs of marriage.

The first month of marriage is a crucial time for newlyweds to set the tone for their future together. Long-lasting couples understand this and take specific steps to ensure their relationship remains strong and healthy. By focusing on open communication, spending quality time together, setting boundaries, fostering physical intimacy, being supportive, and maintaining a sense of humor, they build a solid foundation for a lifetime of happiness. These actions, taken in the early days of marriage, pave the way for a fulfilling and enduring relationship

We all know that trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship. If you don’t trust your friend, for instance, then you’re likely to experience constant doubt and anxiety. And, if you don’t trust your partner in a relationship, then definitely there’s something wrong in that bond you share.

Whether it’s a friendship or a romantic relationship, trust is important for maintaining a sense of security and confidence in one another. But what happens when secrets and lies seep into this bond?

The impact can be devastating, leading to constant doubt, anxiety, and ultimately, the deterioration of the relationship itself. are without trust, even the strongest connections can crumble.

In what ways, do secrets and lies destroy relationships?

Leading couples therapist in Delhi and Gurgaon, Shivani Misri Sadhoo explains how secrets and lies can ruin relationships.

Breaks the Intimacy

When secrets and lies creep into a relationship, they erode the foundation of intimacy. Intimacy thrives on trust and authenticity, requiring partners to be open and vulnerable, both emotionally and physically. However, secrets create barriers, keeping one partner isolated in their pain while pushing the other away.

This avoidance often stems from guilt and leads to a deeper disconnection. Regardless of the size or nature of the secret, its presence can cause profound damage, undermining the closeness and trust that are essential for a healthy relationship.

Undermines the Trust

Secrets and lies can severely damage the trust in a relationship. When a partner is dishonest, it creates an atmosphere of suspicion and doubt, making it difficult to rebuild trust. The deceived partner may constantly worry about whether other secrets are hidden or if the deceit will happen again.

This ongoing insecurity and the need for constant reassurance only deepen the mistrust. Even seemingly small lies can erode confidence and lead to a lack of clarity about what is true, ultimately planting seeds of doubt and confusion. Trust, being a fundamental pillar of any relationship, can be significantly undermined when deception takes root.

You Get Trapped in a Vicious Cycle

Secrets often lead to a web of lies and omissions that can become difficult to manage. As you try to cover up one lie, you may end up telling more lies to hide the original one, creating a growing pile of deceit.

This cycle can trap you, making it harder to uncover the truth and causing more damage if and when the truth is revealed. Over time, you might even start believing your own lies, blurring the line between truth and deception.

The longer you keep secrets, the more complex and damaging the situation becomes, affecting both you and your relationship.

Communication Gap

Secrets and lies can seriously damage communication in a relationship. When one partner hides things or isn’t truthful, it prevents open and honest exchanges, which are essential for a healthy connection.

This lack of transparency leads to misunderstandings and confusion, as the true feelings and intentions are not being shared.

Over time, this breakdown in communication can create distance and make it hard for partners to connect on a deeper level, leaving them feeling isolated and misunderstood.

It Affects Your Self-Esteem

Secrets and lies in a relationship can deeply damage self-esteem by eroding trust and creating a foundation of deceit. When partners conceal the truth or manipulate facts, it undermines one’s sense of self-worth and security, leading to self-doubt and anxiety.

The constant fear of uncovering more lies or hidden truths can perpetuate a cycle of insecurity and emotional turmoil, diminishing confidence in oneself and the relationship. Now that you understand the impact of secrets and lies on relationships, it’s clear that maintaining honesty and openness is crucial.

Deception erodes trust, intimacy, and communication, creating a vicious cycle of doubt and insecurity. Prioritizing transparency is essential for nurturing and preserving healthy, fulfilling connections.

We are living in a time where it is increasingly difficult to differentiate between what is real and what is not. This uncertainty can extend to our most intimate relationships, leaving us questioning whether our partner truly loves us or is subtly manipulating us.

The thrill of new love can be intoxicating, often blurring our judgment. In a healthy relationship, the initial excitement and infatuation will eventually give way to a deeper, more stable connection.

Manipulation is the deliberate psychological influence over others for personal benefit, encompassing both subtle and overt tactics. It involves unfair strategies aimed at gaining control or advantage, making it difficult to detect due to its varied and often cunning approaches. Leading couples therapist in Delhi, Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares some of the ways to recognize it:

How does one recognize the signs of manipulation in a relationship?

Looking for constant reassurance

Seeking constant reassurance in a relationship can be a sign of manipulation. While it’s natural to desire affirmation and security from your partner, excessive neediness can lead to controlling behaviours.

Manipulative individuals may justify their actions by convincing themselves that they are rescuing or proving their care. They might say things like, “Don’t you see how much I care about you?” or “You’re so lucky to have me.”

This behavior can isolate you from others and undermine your independence, indicating deeper issues within the relationship that warrant attention.

Guilt-tripping

When one person in a relationship resorts to guilt-tripping, it often signifies a form of manipulation aimed at securing compliance from the other.

This strategy involves strategically inducing feelings of guilt in order to coerce their partner into actions or decisions they might otherwise resist. A clear indicator of this manipulation is when you find yourself feeling guilty or ashamed for setting boundaries or asserting yourself within the relationship.

The guilt tripper typically expresses dissatisfaction or disappointment when their desires are challenged, leading the other person to give in to alleviate guilt and restore harmony. This cycle perpetuates a dynamic where one partner’s emotional manipulation undermines the other’s autonomy, fostering a skewed power balance detrimental to genuine mutual respect and understanding.

Gaslighting

Did you ever feel like your reality is constantly under attack? Gaslighting in relationships manifests through denial of facts, accusations of imagination, emotional invalidation, and even hiding objects to make you doubt yourself. It erodes your confidence and makes you question your own sanity.

Recognizing these tactics helps identify manipulation, ensuring you safeguard your mental well-being and seek support if needed.

Love bombing

Perhaps one of the most deceptive tactics in relationships is love bombing. Initially, it masquerades as an overwhelming display of affection and attention, leaving one feeling cherished and valued. However, beneath its surface lies manipulation, aiming to control and dominate.

What starts as a euphoric romance can swiftly transform into emotional abuse once the manipulator’s objectives are met, urging caution in the early stages of any relationship.

When you question your own identity

Another sign of manipulation in a relationship is when one partner feels afraid of triggering the other’s anger or displeasure, constantly monitoring and compromising themselves to avoid conflict.

This behaviour often leads to a loss of individual identity, as the manipulated partner gives up their opinions, and interests, and even alters their lifestyle to please the dominant partner. The manipulator may isolate their partner from friends, family, and personal activities, exerting control over their choices and expression of self.

When you are being constantly monitored

This is yet another insidious sign of manipulation in a relationship, where frequent texts, calls, or emails evolve into controlling behaviour. What may start as innocent communication can escalate into jealousy, accusations of infidelity, and attempts to isolate you from loved ones.

This invasive monitoring of your interactions and movements reflects a desire for dominance, eroding your autonomy and fostering a climate of fear and dependency.

While relationships can be sources of joy and support, vigilance is important to detect manipulation. Recognizing signs like constant reassurance-seeking, guilt-tripping, gaslighting, lovebombing, identity questioning, and excessive monitoring can protect one’s emotional well-being and autonomy.

Why is it that finding love often feels like stumbling through a maze blindfolded? We all have our preferences, our checkboxes, and our ideal visions of a perfect partner. Yet, despite our best efforts, we often find ourselves making mistakes along the way.

What kind of mistakes do we make while looking for love?

Let’s get to know about the same from India’s leading marriage counselor, Shivani Misri Sadhoo in this blog.

Having Great Expectations

Perhaps one of the biggest mistakes people make when searching for love is having oversized expectations. They hope for a fairy-tale romance without any hiccups. But always remember that real relationships require effort. We often pressure ourselves to find love by a certain deadline and rush to advance to the next stage within a specific timeline.

However, each relationship and person is unique, so our expectations going into dating shouldn’t be the same for everyone we meet; everyone is on their own path. Instead of imposing deadlines, we should be open and accepting of ‘what will be, will be’ and enjoy the moment. Putting pressure on ourselves takes away the fun and thrills that dating can offer.

Impatience

There’s no point in rushing into relationships as they often lead to trouble. It’s tempting to dive in headfirst, but ignoring red flags can spell disaster. Patience is key; good things take time. Let things evolve naturally, truly understanding your partner and their values before making big commitments. Chemistry trumps passion for longevity. A strong connection ensures a healthier, longer-lasting relationship. So, take it slow and let love blossom at its own pace.

Focusing on External Appearance

Sometimes, on our quest for true love, we get caught up in the glitz and glamour of external appearances, forgetting to delve deeper into the essence of the person we’ve fallen for. It’s easy to be drawn in by good looks or charm, but true connection lies in understanding and appreciating the inner beauty that defines a person.

By solely focusing on superficial qualities, we risk missing out on the qualities that truly matter – kindness, empathy, intelligence, and shared values. These are the qualities that create a strong and enduring bond, making the pursuit of superficial attributes a big mistake in the search for genuine love.

Lack of Self-awareness

Another mistake people often make while looking for true love is neglecting to understand themselves. Failing to delve into self-discovery and grasp their values, goals, and desires from a relationship can hinder the journey toward finding genuine love. It’s essential to explore one’s own love stories, identify the qualities and traits that resonate with them, and understand their patterns of thought and behavior in relationships.

Without this self-awareness, individuals may struggle to make informed choices when selecting potential partners, resulting in incompatible relationships. Understanding oneself better empowers individuals to navigate the complexities of love and make decisions aligned with their long-term vision for a fulfilling relationship.

Seeking Validation

Are you in search of true love only because you want to feel important or to be noticed? Seeking validation from friends, family, or a partner is a big mistake. It leads to unhealthy dependency and unhappiness. True love should complement your life, not define it entirely. Before searching for love, love and fulfill yourself first.

Seeking external validation can lead to low self-esteem. You might start relying on others’ recognition and approval to feel good about yourself. Over time, you could lose sight of your own value and strength.

Overlooking Red Flags

When you’re in search of true love, ignoring red flags is a significant mistake. These warning signs, such as inconsistent behaviour, lack of communication, or unresolved issues from the past, indicate underlying problems or compatibility mismatches that can lead to future turmoil and heartbreak. By overlooking these signals, you risk wasting time and emotional energy on relationships that may not be right for you.

It’s crucial to pay attention to your intuition and address red flags early on, as they can protect you from entering into unhealthy or unfulfilling connections. Recognizing and addressing these warning signs allows you to make informed decisions, fostering healthier relationships built on trust, respect, and mutual understanding.

There are more aspects to consider when seeking love, but avoiding common mistakes like unrealistic expectations and ignoring red flags can pave the way for genuine, fulfilling connections. Remember, patience, self-awareness, and authenticity are key to finding lasting love.