Tag Archive : best marriage counselor in Delhi

Reasons Why Listening Boosts Relationships

If you are not driving, you are sleeping, and if you are at work you are texting, writing e-mails and talking, but rarely listening, means actually, listening.

Listening seems to be a declining skill because listening means absolute listening and nothing else Not thinking of tomorrow’s activity, the “To Do” list and the growing message inbox.

Relationship Experts Shivani says listening is such a passive act that several of you simply do not do it.

Some studies have indicated that one typically remembers merely 25 to 30% of what one hears. However, ‘Active Listening’ can enhance that figure enormously. One of the methods to use ‘Active Listening’ is to remember the mostly-used expression that “eyes and ears must be used in the same proportion they have been allocated to you.”

In today’s digital world one seems to be constantly playing catch up with voice calls, e-mails, meetings, and ever-expanding tight deadlines. As a result, one seems to be “broadcasting” all the time but quite rarely listening to what is essential.

The kids tend to watch television whilst texting their friends and doing homework. How do they do that? Actually, the answer is that they cannot do all those things well at the same time.

So, is it that essential? Yes, it is. If one doesn’t truly listen one does not get the actual message being communicated. If one doesn’t get the real message then one can’t act appropriately.

If you really want to boost relationships and grow your business then you have to work towards good listening. Here are some of the reasons shared by Delhi’s top marriage counselor and relationship expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo why listening boosts relationships.

You Can Gain Information

If you listen, truly listen; you can learn things about the person, be it your spouse, kids or colleague, their aspirations, their fears, their work, and what you may be able to help them with.

There is so much of the spoken meanings are hidden in inflection, tone, and expression, so listening is critical for understanding and gaining information. And as you all know, information is power. It lets you fashion the necessary responses and strategy to assist the person to whom you are listening.

Increases Your Accuracy

When you listen genuinely, you have a better recollection of vital facts and issues.

This can result in fewer miscommunications and errors and makes you more efficient and have more value in your relationships both personal and professional ones.

You Build Trust

When you give your entire attention to the persons expressing thoughts and experiences that are essential to them, they are possibly to see you as a person who really thinks and cares about them.

When you are obviously paying attention to that person and you refrain from interjecting opinions, judgments, and advice, or finishing their sentences, you are seen as someone who cares and can be truly trusted with their information and confidence. This develops trust and later on bonding.

You Form A Relationship

When you listen properly to the other individual’s point of view a real conversation can arise. A meaningful and informed conversation can take place rather than sound bites being chosen and conclusions jumped too. When this genuine interaction takes place, you naturally form a relationship.

The biggest problem in today’s hectic world is that one does not often bother to listen to things carefully, as a result, more friction takes place. Because others perceive that you do not have time for them. This is often the beginning of a collapsing relationship. So, when you are in conversation, let’s be certain to do everything you can to make sure you are being an Active Listener.

It is active listening which leads to solid relationships and relationships are built through several human attributes. At the base of these attributes is LISTENING.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-10 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

Do You Know That Crying, Has Its Own Benefits?

Is crying beneficial for you? The answer is yes. While crying is expected in babies and young kids, whether it is because of pain, anger, fear, lack of communication skills, or any other reasons—adults also cry from time to time. On average, women cry more than 5 times per month and men cry at least once a month. These crying episodes vary anywhere from having tears well up in the eyes or complete sobbing. Psychologist Shivani says, in addition to emotional tears, your body also utilizes tears to physically protect the eyes from harm.

There are 3 kinds of tears each having different purposes. Crying has both emotional and physical benefits, and your body has several ways of producing tears to achieve those benefits. The physical benefits of crying include keeping your eyes lubricated, clean as tears wash away debris and germs that may damage your eye or cause infection. While many a time the emotional tears could provide relief from stress. The three kinds of tears include:

Basal tears: These tears stay continuously in your eyes and maintain eye health. It lubricates your eyes and protects your cornea.

Reflex tears: These also protect your eyes; your body utilizes them to flush out things, like the stray eyelash, dust, smoke, and also the fumes from onions.

Emotional tears: Your body produces tears in response to several emotional states: not just sadness, but also during happiness and fear.

Let us find out the benefits of crying here in the blog, by Delhi’s top psychologist and marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo.

Emotional Tears Might Help Your Body Release Stress

Psycho-emotional tears contain no physical benefits for the health of your eyes. But emotional tears might flush out stress hormones and other toxins from your body. Some studies have found higher concentrations of specific proteins in emotional tears than in basal or reflex tears. Although more research is required for conclusive evidence, some hypothesize that emotional tears purge the body of stress-related substances.

Crying in a Supportive Environment Makes One Feel Better

Emotional tears could also be a communication tool for adults, suggesting a need for social support. When someone cries with a close friend or a family member nearby, the person mostly feels better after crying. That social support can assist the person resolve a conflict or help the person who is crying better understand the event that occurred that caused the tears. This results in an individual feeling better after crying. In contrast, persons who try to avoid crying or who cry and do not receive social support are less probably to feel better.

Tears of Children Indicates a Need for Care

While it might be frustrating for adults, it is essential for children to cry, for their physical and emotional health. Without hearing an infant cry, parents and caregivers may not immediately know that the baby requires the assistance of some sort, be it is emotional comfort or some other type of care. Babies and kids also cry because of pain as a non-verbal mode to request the care of an adult.

Some Emotional Tears Signal When It Is Time to Seek Professional Help

Frequent emotional crying could be a sign that the person requires to call a professional for help with a mental health issue, like depression. Other signs of depression include feelings of hopelessness or worthlessness; problem sleeping or sleeping excessively, having difficulty making decisions; losing interest in kinds of stuff that were once pleasurable; and thoughts of suicide. When frequent crying is accompanied by other signs of depression, call a professional.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-10 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

Times When It’s Better Not to Communicate in Your Relationships

The generation of our parents placed a high value on “being strong” and tackling problems internally rather than rapidly talking and sharing with others when they are troubled.  The “strong silent sort” was a very attractive characteristic to that specific generation, specifically, in males. Our past generations lived through terrible deprivation as kids mainly because of the trauma of wars, a weak economy, and other uncertainties as young adults. Most of that generation lived with considerable deprivation, uncertainty, and loss. One imagines that the value for being strong and silent was a very worthy coping mechanism to assist them to deal with the depth of suffering that most of us now living now, have never experienced on a national scale. Those who have experienced personal trauma or loss would be an exception.

Communication Is Quite Valuable but Not Always Beneficial

The generation we are now in, places a high value on communicating feelings, communicating for deep understanding and connection. There are people who now places a very high value on communicating in openness, transparency, and love as critical ingredients to intimate relationships. Although honest and vulnerable communication is usually, highly beneficial to healthy relationships, not all issues can be resolved through communication. Counselor Shivani says, there are times when it is better to stay silent than to communicate. Certainly, there is a risk in going too far to one extreme or another on the spectrum of communicating or staying silent.

This blog from India’s Top Marriage Counselor and Relationship Expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares when it is better to be silent in your relationship.

Complaining and Criticizing that is Classified as Verbal Processing/Just Venting

Doing it will only be disastrous to you, to your relationship, and to the person you are criticizing. It is very much more life-giving to approach a conversation having the idea of trying to make things better instead of pointing out the other one’s faults. If you have to talk to a third party about a problem with an acquaintance, then have the discussion about getting ideas to improve the circumstances.

Communicating Negative Thoughts and Feelings about Another Individual

Normally, it is not wise to quickly communicate negative thoughts and feelings that you have about another person. Instead, it is good to look inside first to see if part of the problem is yours to deal with. You need to own and manage your own stuff first. When you have completed this first step, and the interpersonal issues remain, then it is good to talk and work out the issues as best you can.

Sometimes you adopt the wrong idea that another person is obligated to change if you communicate that “your feelings are hurt” by something they have done or if you communicate that you “need” something from them. While it can be quite valuable to a relationship to communicate how you experience the relationship, the idea that the other individual is obligated to adapt to your feelings can easily make a relationship where the other person is controlled by your feelings rather than by what is better for the relationship.

Communication that Creates Heated Conflict

Waiting for the best time to communicate related to the problems can make the difference between bringing understanding and link or creating more conflict. When things get heated and emotionally intense simply waiting until both individuals have had time to calm down can be hard but critical to having a fruitful discussion. Conflict resolution could be very difficult until you communicate with the proper mindset, that is, the mindset that you want the best solution to be the result rather than you need to be right or you need to have things to be done your way.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-10 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.


marriage counseling solutions

Ways Your Parents or His Parents Are Ruining Your Relationship

When it comes to your marriage or dating, there are plenty of things that can go wrong. But sometimes it is not what you are doing that is causing problems in your relationship. It is the parents. Whether yours or your partner’s, parents can definitely have a way of butting in where they must not and can turn your relationship bitter.

This blog by India’s top Marriage Counselor, Relationship Expert, and Family Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo speaks specifically about how your or his parents are ruining your relationship.

The Models of Love Parents Provided 

Parents shape their kid’s future love lives from the very beginning. The manner you’re raised and the atmosphere in which you grew up impacts the way you perceive, feel, and give love. 

One learns about love from his/her parents. It is part of the authority that parents get. Whether you move towards the model of love that your parents provide for you or you move away from it, it remains their model that you base your assumptions on. 

So, it is a wise thing to be aware of those things while you act in your relationship.

Crossing Limits and Lines of Communication

A huge way that parents interfere in their adult child’s relationship is by crossing limits and proper lines of communication, such as reaching out straight to their child’s partner to provide their two cents about how the relationship, or even having other family members involved. 

Any moment a parent reaches out to their child’s partner or their kid’s partner’s family, there are boundaries being crossed. It is quite dangerous once you do that. If they have any doubts about the relationship they must be taking it to their child, not to their child’s partner or his parents.

Though it is totally normal for a parent to give their child relationship advice, it is a bit right to go any further. A romantic relationship is just for the people in that relationship to work on, not their parents. A parent may even mean good by doing this, but it is detrimental and cause awkwardness. If you feel your partner’s parents or your parents are too hands-on, never be afraid to talk to your partner about it. If you do not, it will just keep happening.  

Overly Attached

The biggest of all “The Mama’s Boy or The Daddy’s Little Girl.” At least, this is what bothers many. And let us be real, anyone who has been in a relationship with a person like this knows how awful it could get. To be clear, it is not bad for a man or woman to love or interact with their father or mother, but it is when the bond is way too strong; one can also say aggressive. 

The worst method [to interfere] is when they’re a mama’s boy or daddy’s little girl and the mom or dad is simply competing with the wife or husband. When you’re the woman and [his] mom’s interfering, she looks to be the confidant to him. Rather than encouraging him to go to you and build that relationship, she perceives you as a threat. 

When the mom or dad interferes to a large extent, it’s not only intrusive but it’s way creepy. This sort of over-involvement and over-attachment can also simply ruin your relationship.

Pushing Their Problems On You Or Your Partner 

When an individual’s parents are having marital issues, it might be hard on them in several ways, including their romantic relationships. While a marriage dissolve can provide a person with a cynical outlook on their own love lives. 

While a divorce like an experience can influence them in terms of the parent saying, you must avoid people like your dad or mom, making stereotypes in that regard. It’s absolutely important for parents to know their problems, so they do not put them on their own kids. Even if it is not their marital problems, parents can still push their problems onto their child and harm relationships. If even one of the parents has a drinking or abuse problem, that will no doubt create stress and emotional issues. Your partner may feel like they have to be there more for their parents than they are for you. 

When such things happen, your partner has to be able to find out a way to get a balance in their life and keep it separate from those of their parents. This does not mean that they have to abandon their family, but they have to be able to identify the difference between your parents’ relationship and your own relationship. Simply, because your parents might be dysfunctional, doesn’t mean that your relationship needs to be.

Forcing Family Expectation in the Name of Tradition

If your partner belongs to a different culture than you do or their parents are quite strict about their family lifestyle and expectations, your relationship could be doomed from the beginning. Plenty of times, it has been seen that particularly when younger ones are involved with people outside their parents’ group, a person outside of their socio-economic class, different opinion. Yes, it could be anything but the families do not necessarily see it that way. They look at it preserving their beliefs. For instance, Indian parents tend to be forcing their kids by what age they ought to have a baby as in their family, they have a certain trend that by a certain age everyone became parents, and so on. 

Ultimately, it is your and your partner’s decision. So try to avoid such sort of expectations when it is unnecessarily being forcing on you.

Making Special Occasions Problematic

In spite of the joy, they are supposed to provide, holidays could be some of the toughest days of the year. Spending the entire day with your whole family could be taxing on its own, but holidays can create problems in relationships as well. You might feel like you must spend the holidays with your significant other, but your or her family may be hellbent on having your partner entirely to themselves. Or in case they are also holidaying with you, their interference regarding what to eat and where to travel can be real mood spoilers. Holidays are a rare opportunity that fosters bonding for a couple but when it is denied it spells trouble.

Having respective parents are fine but if your partner is trying to prevent it then it is a big warning sign. And later it can really escalate the problem.

Showing Up Frequently

As a couple you need time alone together. However, it can be spoiled if your or his parents frequently visit you and that too all of a sudden. They may even turn up when you are trying to have quiet private time that eventually hampers your bonding. This may give rise to the thought of not having enough freedom and it feels suffocating. So better watch out for this sign.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-10 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high. 

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service! 

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

Do You Have the Fear of Sleep (Somniphobia) Here are the Tips to Overcome It

Many people cannot wait for the night to come so that they can go to bed and enjoy a resting until the morning, specifically, if they have a good quality mattress beneath them, the one that can give a good night’s rest. But for a few, that is a quite scary, almost a horrifying experience. Yes, here counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo is talking about the fear of sleep, or as it is also called Somniphobia, that can make your life miserable and affect your both physical and mental well-being.

For persons who have this phobia, the idea of falling asleep is unimaginable. There is no logical explanation for this, but for some reason, they are afraid to fall asleep and that they will never get up because something terrible might happen, or that the same old nightmare will be waiting to haunt them as soon as they close their eyes.

What is Somniphobia?

This phobia has several names such as hypnophobia, clinophobia, somniphobia, sleep dread, and sleep anxiety. It is an irrational fear of falling asleep because of what may happen while you are unconscious. The general scenario implies an individual worrying all day long about having to go to sleep, and then, when the moment arrives, their anxiety levels are so high that their body cannot relax enough for them actually to get some rest.

It is clear that at a certain point, the person will fall asleep, but their resting moment will be of low quality and frequently disturbed. If that pattern keeps happening, and it nearly always does when it comes to this phobia, after a certain time, the health of the individual will be jeopardized. So, if you recognize yourself in these steps, you need to know how to overcome somniphobia, because it is not a matter to ignore and it can have serious implications after some time.

Through this blog, India’s leading Psychologist and Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo talks about somniphobia and how to overcome it.

Things that Causes Somniphobia or Fear of Sleep

There could be various for this phobia Here are some prominent ones.

·         Anxiety

·         Nightmares

·         Fear of Death

·         Sleepwalking

·         Sleep Talking

·         Sleep Paralysis

·         Trauma

·         Horror Movies or Stories

Fear of Falling Asleep Symptoms

Your body is always telling you if something is a bit right, one way or another. You need to listen to it properly, pay attention to every detail, and changes it goes through because it can lead you to the core of the issue. When it comes to your sleep deprivation caused due to fear of falling asleep, these are infallible signs. They are:

·         Daytime Sleepiness

·         Mood Swings

·         Memory Loss

·         Chronic Fatigue

Other Symptoms

Some of your body reactions will not so clearly point to having this sort of problem, but if you noticed some of those repeating actions, and you are aware you have been deprived of sleep, you need to think about consulting with the professional.

If you begin feeling distressed as the night time and the bedtime inches closer if you counter the urge to sleep and look to stay up as late as possible if you feel panic attacks or trouble breathing when the night arrives, this could be the problem you are facing. Also, if you find it hard to think about anything else, then the fear of sleep, or have a problem remembering stuff, it is likely you have clinophobia.

On the other side, some symptoms could be extreme nausea or other stomach issues when the time for bed comes, just as the feeling of great pressure around the chest area, and faster heart rate after a minute or two spent in the bed. It might happen you experience things like hyperventilation, extreme sweating, and shaking, while children can start crying and screaming when their parents look to leave the room.

Some Individuals often tend to consume alcohol or some other substances in order to get sleep. Some have strict rules that require to be applied, such as leaving television, lights, and the music on to distract them.

Is There Any Risk Factor?

If you or someone in your family who suffers or suffered from some kind of phobia or extreme anxiety, it is more likely for you to have this specific phobia of sleeping or some other. Though there are no clear thing claiming there is a genetic link, but the reality is chances are increased.

Also, having one of several sleep disorders or a serious medical condition might be a factor of higher somniphobia risk. For instance, if you have a heart-related problem that could lead to death, you may start being afraid of that happening in the night while you are asleep. Eventually, that kind of fear can lead to sleep phobia.

Consulting a professional is the best thing you can do if suspecting you have this sort of problem. They will need primarily to diagnose it properly, and then they will assist you to overcome it. It is not something that will go away all of a sudden, without help, and it is serious enough to impact your physical and mental health, as well as your regular life.

How Can You Treat Somniphobia?

Once it comes to a conclusion on the main source of your phobia, the therapist prescribes you a certain treatment. They could be:

Exposure Therapy

This kind of therapy includes working with a psychologist on exposing your fear and slowly overcoming it. This means talking about the fear, experimenting with some relaxing techniques, and thinking about what it will mean to have a good night’s rest. Sometimes this method may include spending time in a sleep lab or with a professional who stays there while you sleep.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

CBT is based on your counter and challenging the bad thoughts that stop you from sleeping peacefully. That could be pointed to thoughts related to sleep itself or towards the fear that forces you not wanting to go to bed. Usually, the therapist will recommend a sleep restriction method, which means that you required to go to bed and get up every day at the same time, irrespective if you have slept or not.

Medication

There are not medications for phobia, but some of them can decrease anxiety and other symptoms. If there is no other method, then depending on your condition you may be prescribed some medicine.

Conclusion

People who have never experienced something like this cannot probably understand what you are going through, the agony of feeling extremely fatigued but countering the urge to sleep so hard while experiencing all sorts of unpleasant symptoms. The vital thing is not to develop a stigma around it, but to accept you have an issue, the one that is not so uncommon as you thought and is treatable. Be aware that if you keep continuing to ignore it, as several people tend to, you will keep exposing your body to extreme levels of stress that could and most likely will lead to some sort of health problem.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-10 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high. 

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service! 

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

Relationship Trouble? Research Indicates Online Couples and Marriage Counseling Can Help

The relationships with other people need to be healthy for mental and emotional wellbeing which is most important for our happiness and survival. Partners, those who can support, communicate, listen, and encourage each other emotionally and practically have less stress in their relationship. And they are definitely having a healthier relationship.

Communication Problem

Every relationship has ups and downs whereas successful couples have learned, how to come out or manage any kind of difficult situation nicely. According to the blog by counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo, “The root cause of any relationship facing problem is due to poor communication.”

Some Surveys for Divorce

More than 37% of couples who blame their partner for their marriage ending 6% blame themselves.

While 74% of couples reported that they work hard to keep their marriage protected.

Causes and Consequence

Majorly some of the reasons for relationship troubles between partners are money, lack of commitment, communication, addiction, and at worst cases abuses.

Willing Couples Can Solve Their Disputes Easily

Thanks to Shivani Misri Sadhoo – who is India’s leading Marriage Counselor and Relationship Expert,  now you can avail her services regarding marital counseling online where she can help you to get your married life back on track, solve disputes and family issues, in a constructive manner.

Does Online Couples Counseling Work?

Research and studies indicate that couples who engage in online relationship counseling with a qualified therapist see an improvement in their overall relationships. All couples go through torrid patches, but when the tough times fail to improve, certain things can aid the partners to get back on the same page. In fact, it can be more effective when one compares it with in-person or face-to-face counseling because it lets the counselor notice how you are behaving with your partner while at home when compared to an office-based counseling session.

What Can One Expect in Online Couples Counseling?

During the starting sessions of counseling, you will meet with your therapist online. You won’t have to jump into the problems that you as a couple are having. First, the marriage counselor will get to know each of you. They will find out your individual personalities and how you come together as a couple.

Before understanding the difficulties that you two are having, the couples counselor requires understanding who you are and what you bring to this relationship. Post the initial couple of sessions, your couples counselor will discuss the admissible issues in your relationship. Then your therapist will figure out a plan as to how to navigate through the roadblocks.

Advantages of Online Couple Therapy

·         It is more affordable for couples where it saves your time and gives you privacy.

·         Very comfortable for group sessions.

·         Easily Accessible.

·         It is most useful for long-distance partners.

·         Get your documents online.

More Features

At the time of online sessions of counseling, all the records for the therapy remains confidential and secured. No one can see or access your documents or things that you have discussed if you want. It keeps your identity completely safe.

What to Expect in an Online Couples Therapy:

Most of the couples are seeking for marriage counseling and therapists to resolve their major issues and to understand the cause of their conflict in the family.

·         Get to the root of the problems.

·         Develop goals and a timeline.

·         Learn new skills to improve relationships.

·         Homework outside of sessions.

·         Limit your weakness or vulnerability.

·         Work with a qualified couples counselor.

Other Benefits of Online Couple Counseling

·         A qualified counselor’s advice.

·         Structural planning to achieve goals.

·         Learn the techniques to improve the relationship.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-10 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high. 

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service! 

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

The Mystery of Loving an Abuser

When we are in a relationship with a person, we have an additional bond with that person with all humanity. Imagine the bond to be a very strong silver code that ties, two people together. Because we are “suckers for punishment”. It literally sucks us back to the person until we either realize that we no longer need them and move on.

Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo says identify an abusive partner else it becomes way too late. An abusive partner is insidious and slowly consumes away your confidence and self-esteem. Where the impacts are for the long term may be life long and might take even longer to recover. One should never willingly enter into an abusive relationship, even when someone close to you warns, what they can see but you cannot.

This blog by India’s leading psychologist and counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo discusses abuse and why some people still love a person who has abused them.

Abuse is Common

More than 3 Million incidents of partner’s violence are reported each year, including both a man and a woman. 1/3rd of women and 1/4th of men have experienced some sort of interpersonal violence and for one-fourth of women and one-seventh of men, it’s severe.

A woman gets physically beaten or assaulted every 9 seconds.

20 persons are abused by their intimate partner each minute, adding about 10 million every year.

Some Facts About Abusers

Both men and women can be victims. If someone you love says they’ve been the victim of domestic or emotional violence, you should believe and support them, since no gender is safe and no amount of physical strength or emotional fortitude protect against abuse.

·         Usually, abuse takes place behind closed doors.

·         Abusers blame the victim.

·         Violence is proceeded by verbal abuse.

·         Abusers deny their actions.

·         The abuser desires to be correct and in control.

·         The abuser is possessive and could try to isolate their partner from friends or family.

·         The abuser is hypersensitive and could react with rage.

·         Two-thirds of violence perpetrators have been drinking alcohol, using drugs.

You may not realize that abusers feel powerless. They never act insecure to hide the truth. One common thing is that their motive is to have power over their victim. To them, communication is a win-lose game.

Reasons Why One Still Loves an Abuser

There are some reasons why one still loves an abuser. One of the points one raises is that falling in love is natural. So, if somehow things go awful. It does not mean that they should leave the abuser. Thoughts like forgiveness and kindness rule the course. Let us take some of the reasons why one still loves an abuser?

Being Refused to Survive

If one was not treated with respect in his/her family and has low self-esteem, he/she will tend to deny the abuse. Often thoughts cross probably I deserve the same. And blaming oneself is often easy stating probably it’s your own fault. And the life without that person has no meaning.

Projection, Glorification and Recurrence Compulsion

Sometimes thoughts of unpleasant childhood run amok. Maybe if the abuser reminds you of one of your parents. Then thinking liking probably now you can mend the things keeps on running in your mind. You end up believing that this could be the time of redeeming your overall past and secure a future.

The Cycle

Just like a fact that a honeymoon cannot go on forever. Similarly, you get yourself in a trap believing the one or two incidents of being abused will not be repeated. This gives you the belief that you can stay together.

Empathy

Many people feel that having empathy with an abuser will help things to go better. However, in doing so one often ignores empathy for himself/herself. As a result, you start to deny the fact that you are living with pain.

These are often some of the reasons that force one to stay with an abuser. Even if there is a repeated offense.

What to Do

If one is being mentally and emotionally abused, believe your gut instincts. Know that it is not correct and you do not need to live this way. Otherwise, your options come down to the specifics of your circumstances.

·         Accept that the abuse isn’t your responsibility.

·         Disengage and set personal boundaries.

·         Exit the relationship or circumstances.

·         Give yourself time to heal.

·         If you feel you are in violent, controlling, a co-dependent or abusive relationship or want to get recovery from such a relationship contact.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-10 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high. 

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service! 

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

Are You Afraid of the Darkness? Know the Symptoms and Treatment of Nyctophobia

While being afraid of the dark might be a part of normal development in some young children, this is not the case for older children and adults. Nyctophobia is basically an age-inappropriate fear of darkness that can force someone to limit their activities, avoid specific circumstances, and experience anxiety in the anticipation of there being lying something dangerous and no light.

Psychologist Shivani says it is when the concern crosses over from being an inborn protective technic to being a clinical issue that it is designated as a phobia.

This blog specifically revolves around Nyctophobia, and India’s top Psychologist and Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo talks about the causes and treatment for the same.

Causes

Nyctophobia, also known as scotophobia, lygophobia, and achluophobia. This may be evolutionary in nature as several predators hunt at night. The fear might not be linked to darkness itself but unknown dangers are hidden in the darkness (this is why horror and suspense movies generally use darkness as a way to scare audiences). A general lack of security and confidence also plays into this as well, particularly if you tend to be afraid of the dark mostly while alone.

Psychoanalytic believes that fear of the dark could be related to the separation anxiety from a primary attachment figure, a phenomenon that has been detailed further.

Symptoms and Diagnosis

Symptoms of nyctophobia differs from individual to individual and according to the severity of a specific case. In general, symptoms of nyctophobia includes:

·         Getting nervous in any darkened surroundings.

·         Being reluctant to go out at night.

·         Experiencing physiological symptoms like increased heart rate, sweating, visible shaking, and also feeling ill (nausea, headaches, and diarrhea) when forced to spend some time in the dark.

·         Need to put on the light at night while sleeping.

Symptoms of during more severe cases of nyctophobia include:

·         Trying to run away from dark areas or rooms.

·         Getting angry or defensive if anyone tries to force or tease you to spend time in the dark.

·         Compulsively staying back indoors at night.

Nyctophobia has certain diagnostic criteria that are common to every phobia, which separates them from simple fears.

Treatment

The aim of therapy is to challenge the fearful beliefs about the dark by replacing the negative self-talk with more positive ones. The rate of successful treatment for certain phobias such as nyctophobia is approximately 90% and mostly accomplished with the help of techniques drawn from the cognitive-behavioral school therapy.

The treatment plan your therapist would recommend for you or your child could include:

·         Exposure to the dark in bits, incremental, non-threatening doses in a method called desensitization.

·         1-on-1 talk therapy, family therapy, or even group therapy.

·         Learning relaxation techniques, like deep breathing, meditation, or yoga.

·         Medications such as anti-anxiety and antidepressant.

If you are struggling due to any sort of phobia or other psychological issues. Do not hide them. Rather, you do not need to panic, you should seek some help from a qualified psychologist.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-10 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high. 

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service! 

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

The Secret of Coworking with Your Spouse Decoded By Marriage Counselor Shivani

While organizations have adopted WFH (work from home) format to restrict the COVID-19 spread, situations at home for most of the working couples have turned very challenging, especially among couples who are having the same working hours.

At present, the internet is flooded with guidance and advice on how to do WFH effectively, like put real clothes on, set up a desk space that is not your bed, and goes about your morning routine as though you’re actually heading to work, etc.

BUT the advice is still missing some of the critical issues that couples actually are facing in day to day life, “how not get into a fight with a partner when your mood has been soured by your boss or by that annoying colleague, who will do work chores during office hours, how to keep your relationship throbbing when both of you are getting each other 24×7? And others, how to manage your child’s online classes with WFH”?

India’s leading relationship expert and marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo in this article decodes the secrets for couples to do co-working happily.

1. Create a daily schedule for everyone

Build a habit to devote 5 minutes every day, to prepare your next day’s schedule. Involve all your family members – ask your spouse the timing for his/her conference calls in every family member’s presence, so everyone can remember to avoid making background noises (avoid TV watching, utensil cleaning, running mixes in the kitchen, vacuum cleaner, etc. during that time). Also, schedule a time for home chores before and after office hours with your partner.

2. Plan your Kid’s studies

A major challenge that working couples are facing during WFH, is handling their kid’s online schooling. Hence try to identify the subjects that your child can do on their own and subjects that need your guidance, schedule the easy subject for the kids to do on their own, during your office hours to reduce your time devotion to teach them at end of the day. Also, try to prepare the child for the next day’s class so they can turn self-reliant for online classes.

3. Television and earphone

If you have in-laws and kids at home, surely television background noise can turn into a headache while working for your office. Perhaps it could be a good idea to buy wireless headphones for the TV, so the rest of the family members can spend their time watching TV without any noise disturbance.

4. Give yourself a buffer time

At the end of your workday, take ten to thirty minutes break to unwind yourself before making yourself available to spend with your partner and family. This “buffer time” can help you to release any stresses from the workday, get relaxed, and then help you to get prepare for the family members. Hence, take a shower, change clothes, take another walk, and 20 minutes’ power nap.

5. Separate your workspaces

Being productive and efficient during WFH hours will help you stay happy and avoid stress to a large extent. Hence make the arrangements so you can work with full concentration and give yourself and your partner the proper space to work at their best. These arrangements could be in form of separate workstations in separate rooms, using the headphone for your conference calls, avoid talking to your partner during office hours, etc.

6. Use this time for Special moments 

Remember once you will be back to the old routine, again a large chunk of your daily life will be eaten by commutation to the office, and back home, your time to devote for your partner will again get limited to weekends. And, in most of those weekends, you would be again questioning yourself to get yourself rest to get rid of the weeklong tiredness or spend some romantic moments with your spouse.

Hence take the advantage of the fact that you and your partner are getting time together that you don’t usually get. Hence eat your breakfasts, lunches, and dinner together, get to bed early and spend quality and intimate moments together.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-10 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high. 

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service! 

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

3 Common Hurdles in Couples Therapy

Couples therapy can assist couples to enhance their relationship in several ways. For example, it assists couples to resolve conflict, learns how to communicate well, better understand each other, improve their emotional connection, and boost their bond.

Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo says naturally, couples might face obstacles in therapy that halt their progress. They might have inaccurate assumptions regarding how therapy works, which can keep them stuck. Or they could delay seeing a therapist in the first instance, which only deepens their problems.

Through this blog, Delhi’s leading Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo talks about 3 common hurdles in couples therapy.

Wanting the Other Partner to Change

When couples come in for therapy, they want a change. However, at times what they really seek is for the therapy to change their partner’s conduct.

For example, they may want the therapist to change their partner’s financial habits. But they would like to remain the same.

But, in couples therapy, the aim of the change in the relationship. Both partners have to make changes in order to enhance the relationship. Both need to alter their perceptions and behaviors.

For instance, couples who want to alter their fights over money will each have to examine their own patterns related to money, and the role it has in their relationship.

Keeping Secrets

Some partners begin couples therapy with secrets like an affair or addiction, and they intend to keep those things as secrets. However, individuals who continue to keep secrets from their partner while engaging in couple therapy are fooling themselves and their significant ones, and forming barriers to achieve real change.

If you are keeping a secret from your partner, consider its consequences for your relationship. Secrets can sabotage trust and life out of marriages. It can morph into thick walls against interpersonal intimacy.

Though you do not have to share all your secrets, it is wiser to reveal and work through any secrets that are presently affecting your relationship.

Your therapist can help you with this process, and your relationship will possibly be stronger and have better integrity due to this.

Not Believing the Process

Couples probably enter therapy looking for a quick fix or again wanting the therapist to tell their partner that they have to change. However, to improve your relationship, it is vital for couples to trust the therapy process.

To really get to the bottom of your marital conflict and start the healing process, you and your partner will have to invest your time and commit to learning how to be vulnerable with each other, expressing feelings instead of thoughts, acknowledging your role in the play, and learning how to listen to what your partner is actually saying.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-10 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high. 

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service! 

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.