Tag Archive : best marriage counselor in Delhi

The Mystery of Loving an Abuser

When we are in a relationship with a person, we have an additional bond with that person with all humanity. Imagine the bond to be a very strong silver code that ties, two people together. Because we are “suckers for punishment”. It literally sucks us back to the person until we either realize that we no longer need them and move on.

Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo says identify an abusive partner else it becomes way too late. An abusive partner is insidious and slowly consumes away your confidence and self-esteem. Where the impacts are for the long term may be life long and might take even longer to recover. One should never willingly enter into an abusive relationship, even when someone close to you warns, what they can see but you cannot.

This blog by India’s leading psychologist and counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo discusses abuse and why some people still love a person who has abused them.

Abuse is Common

More than 3 Million incidents of partner’s violence are reported each year, including both a man and a woman. 1/3rd of women and 1/4th of men have experienced some sort of interpersonal violence and for one-fourth of women and one-seventh of men, it’s severe.

A woman gets physically beaten or assaulted every 9 seconds.

20 persons are abused by their intimate partner each minute, adding about 10 million every year.

Some Facts About Abusers

Both men and women can be victims. If someone you love says they’ve been the victim of domestic or emotional violence, you should believe and support them, since no gender is safe and no amount of physical strength or emotional fortitude protect against abuse.

·         Usually, abuse takes place behind closed doors.

·         Abusers blame the victim.

·         Violence is proceeded by verbal abuse.

·         Abusers deny their actions.

·         The abuser desires to be correct and in control.

·         The abuser is possessive and could try to isolate their partner from friends or family.

·         The abuser is hypersensitive and could react with rage.

·         Two-thirds of violence perpetrators have been drinking alcohol, using drugs.

You may not realize that abusers feel powerless. They never act insecure to hide the truth. One common thing is that their motive is to have power over their victim. To them, communication is a win-lose game.

Reasons Why One Still Loves an Abuser

There are some reasons why one still loves an abuser. One of the points one raises is that falling in love is natural. So, if somehow things go awful. It does not mean that they should leave the abuser. Thoughts like forgiveness and kindness rule the course. Let us take some of the reasons why one still loves an abuser?

Being Refused to Survive

If one was not treated with respect in his/her family and has low self-esteem, he/she will tend to deny the abuse. Often thoughts cross probably I deserve the same. And blaming oneself is often easy stating probably it’s your own fault. And the life without that person has no meaning.

Projection, Glorification and Recurrence Compulsion

Sometimes thoughts of unpleasant childhood run amok. Maybe if the abuser reminds you of one of your parents. Then thinking liking probably now you can mend the things keeps on running in your mind. You end up believing that this could be the time of redeeming your overall past and secure a future.

The Cycle

Just like a fact that a honeymoon cannot go on forever. Similarly, you get yourself in a trap believing the one or two incidents of being abused will not be repeated. This gives you the belief that you can stay together.

Empathy

Many people feel that having empathy with an abuser will help things to go better. However, in doing so one often ignores empathy for himself/herself. As a result, you start to deny the fact that you are living with pain.

These are often some of the reasons that force one to stay with an abuser. Even if there is a repeated offense.

What to Do

If one is being mentally and emotionally abused, believe your gut instincts. Know that it is not correct and you do not need to live this way. Otherwise, your options come down to the specifics of your circumstances.

·         Accept that the abuse isn’t your responsibility.

·         Disengage and set personal boundaries.

·         Exit the relationship or circumstances.

·         Give yourself time to heal.

·         If you feel you are in violent, controlling, a co-dependent or abusive relationship or want to get recovery from such a relationship contact.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-10 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high. 

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service! 

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

Are You Afraid of the Darkness? Know the Symptoms and Treatment of Nyctophobia

While being afraid of the dark might be a part of normal development in some young children, this is not the case for older children and adults. Nyctophobia is basically an age-inappropriate fear of darkness that can force someone to limit their activities, avoid specific circumstances, and experience anxiety in the anticipation of there being lying something dangerous and no light.

Psychologist Shivani says it is when the concern crosses over from being an inborn protective technic to being a clinical issue that it is designated as a phobia.

This blog specifically revolves around Nyctophobia, and India’s top Psychologist and Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo talks about the causes and treatment for the same.

Causes

Nyctophobia, also known as scotophobia, lygophobia, and achluophobia. This may be evolutionary in nature as several predators hunt at night. The fear might not be linked to darkness itself but unknown dangers are hidden in the darkness (this is why horror and suspense movies generally use darkness as a way to scare audiences). A general lack of security and confidence also plays into this as well, particularly if you tend to be afraid of the dark mostly while alone.

Psychoanalytic believes that fear of the dark could be related to the separation anxiety from a primary attachment figure, a phenomenon that has been detailed further.

Symptoms and Diagnosis

Symptoms of nyctophobia differs from individual to individual and according to the severity of a specific case. In general, symptoms of nyctophobia includes:

·         Getting nervous in any darkened surroundings.

·         Being reluctant to go out at night.

·         Experiencing physiological symptoms like increased heart rate, sweating, visible shaking, and also feeling ill (nausea, headaches, and diarrhea) when forced to spend some time in the dark.

·         Need to put on the light at night while sleeping.

Symptoms of during more severe cases of nyctophobia include:

·         Trying to run away from dark areas or rooms.

·         Getting angry or defensive if anyone tries to force or tease you to spend time in the dark.

·         Compulsively staying back indoors at night.

Nyctophobia has certain diagnostic criteria that are common to every phobia, which separates them from simple fears.

Treatment

The aim of therapy is to challenge the fearful beliefs about the dark by replacing the negative self-talk with more positive ones. The rate of successful treatment for certain phobias such as nyctophobia is approximately 90% and mostly accomplished with the help of techniques drawn from the cognitive-behavioral school therapy.

The treatment plan your therapist would recommend for you or your child could include:

·         Exposure to the dark in bits, incremental, non-threatening doses in a method called desensitization.

·         1-on-1 talk therapy, family therapy, or even group therapy.

·         Learning relaxation techniques, like deep breathing, meditation, or yoga.

·         Medications such as anti-anxiety and antidepressant.

If you are struggling due to any sort of phobia or other psychological issues. Do not hide them. Rather, you do not need to panic, you should seek some help from a qualified psychologist.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-10 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high. 

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service! 

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

The Secret of Coworking with Your Spouse Decoded By Marriage Counselor Shivani

While organizations have adopted WFH (work from home) format to restrict the COVID-19 spread, situations at home for most of the working couples have turned very challenging, especially among couples who are having the same working hours.

At present, the internet is flooded with guidance and advice on how to do WFH effectively, like put real clothes on, set up a desk space that is not your bed, and goes about your morning routine as though you’re actually heading to work, etc.

BUT the advice is still missing some of the critical issues that couples actually are facing in day to day life, “how not get into a fight with a partner when your mood has been soured by your boss or by that annoying colleague, who will do work chores during office hours, how to keep your relationship throbbing when both of you are getting each other 24×7? And others, how to manage your child’s online classes with WFH”?

India’s leading relationship expert and marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo in this article decodes the secrets for couples to do co-working happily.

1. Create a daily schedule for everyone

Build a habit to devote 5 minutes every day, to prepare your next day’s schedule. Involve all your family members – ask your spouse the timing for his/her conference calls in every family member’s presence, so everyone can remember to avoid making background noises (avoid TV watching, utensil cleaning, running mixes in the kitchen, vacuum cleaner, etc. during that time). Also, schedule a time for home chores before and after office hours with your partner.

2. Plan your Kid’s studies

A major challenge that working couples are facing during WFH, is handling their kid’s online schooling. Hence try to identify the subjects that your child can do on their own and subjects that need your guidance, schedule the easy subject for the kids to do on their own, during your office hours to reduce your time devotion to teach them at end of the day. Also, try to prepare the child for the next day’s class so they can turn self-reliant for online classes.

3. Television and earphone

If you have in-laws and kids at home, surely television background noise can turn into a headache while working for your office. Perhaps it could be a good idea to buy wireless headphones for the TV, so the rest of the family members can spend their time watching TV without any noise disturbance.

4. Give yourself a buffer time

At the end of your workday, take ten to thirty minutes break to unwind yourself before making yourself available to spend with your partner and family. This “buffer time” can help you to release any stresses from the workday, get relaxed, and then help you to get prepare for the family members. Hence, take a shower, change clothes, take another walk, and 20 minutes’ power nap.

5. Separate your workspaces

Being productive and efficient during WFH hours will help you stay happy and avoid stress to a large extent. Hence make the arrangements so you can work with full concentration and give yourself and your partner the proper space to work at their best. These arrangements could be in form of separate workstations in separate rooms, using the headphone for your conference calls, avoid talking to your partner during office hours, etc.

6. Use this time for Special moments 

Remember once you will be back to the old routine, again a large chunk of your daily life will be eaten by commutation to the office, and back home, your time to devote for your partner will again get limited to weekends. And, in most of those weekends, you would be again questioning yourself to get yourself rest to get rid of the weeklong tiredness or spend some romantic moments with your spouse.

Hence take the advantage of the fact that you and your partner are getting time together that you don’t usually get. Hence eat your breakfasts, lunches, and dinner together, get to bed early and spend quality and intimate moments together.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-10 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high. 

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service! 

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

3 Common Hurdles in Couples Therapy

Couples therapy can assist couples to enhance their relationship in several ways. For example, it assists couples to resolve conflict, learns how to communicate well, better understand each other, improve their emotional connection, and boost their bond.

Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo says naturally, couples might face obstacles in therapy that halt their progress. They might have inaccurate assumptions regarding how therapy works, which can keep them stuck. Or they could delay seeing a therapist in the first instance, which only deepens their problems.

Through this blog, Delhi’s leading Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo talks about 3 common hurdles in couples therapy.

Wanting the Other Partner to Change

When couples come in for therapy, they want a change. However, at times what they really seek is for the therapy to change their partner’s conduct.

For example, they may want the therapist to change their partner’s financial habits. But they would like to remain the same.

But, in couples therapy, the aim of the change in the relationship. Both partners have to make changes in order to enhance the relationship. Both need to alter their perceptions and behaviors.

For instance, couples who want to alter their fights over money will each have to examine their own patterns related to money, and the role it has in their relationship.

Keeping Secrets

Some partners begin couples therapy with secrets like an affair or addiction, and they intend to keep those things as secrets. However, individuals who continue to keep secrets from their partner while engaging in couple therapy are fooling themselves and their significant ones, and forming barriers to achieve real change.

If you are keeping a secret from your partner, consider its consequences for your relationship. Secrets can sabotage trust and life out of marriages. It can morph into thick walls against interpersonal intimacy.

Though you do not have to share all your secrets, it is wiser to reveal and work through any secrets that are presently affecting your relationship.

Your therapist can help you with this process, and your relationship will possibly be stronger and have better integrity due to this.

Not Believing the Process

Couples probably enter therapy looking for a quick fix or again wanting the therapist to tell their partner that they have to change. However, to improve your relationship, it is vital for couples to trust the therapy process.

To really get to the bottom of your marital conflict and start the healing process, you and your partner will have to invest your time and commit to learning how to be vulnerable with each other, expressing feelings instead of thoughts, acknowledging your role in the play, and learning how to listen to what your partner is actually saying.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-10 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high. 

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service! 

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

Identifying Depression: 5 Signs You Should Never Ignore

Suggests Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

When one thinks of depression, the most widespread emotion to describe this condition is sadness. This problematic mindset causes several people, with or without depression, to think that is all there is to it.

But counselor Shivani says depression is far more than only sadness. The truth is that depression encompasses various symptoms. Some are physical, while some are emotional. What is more, is that sadness or feeling “the blues” may only sometimes apply. Some symptoms of depression that can manifest with depression may honestly surprise you. Therefore, it is important to consider the signs to identify depression and why you must not ignore them.

In this blog, India’s eminent Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares her insights on identifying depression.

Here, they are.

Anger

Anger appears to be the polar opposite of sadness, and yet, anger is a sign of depression. The reason why is complicated. Mostly, depression causes a person to feel powerless, which compounds various issues. When one feels powerless to do anything about his/her situation, they act out. You frequently live on a short fuse, ready to lash out at any given time. Another reason is that anger serves as a kind of emotional protection. If you lash out at someone, they do not have the chance to hurt you emotionally.

Work

Most of you have to work to make a living. Well, what about when you overwork? Do you put in long and unwanted hours at the office, or even have a part-time job to stay busy? What about volunteering for some organizations in your free time? For some, the idea of having nothing to do is terrifying. Chiefly because work serves as a distraction from experiencing the feelings that one has.

Focusing

For a few, the effects of depression cause them only to pay attention to what they are feeling. In entire reality, they will welcome a distraction not to have to think about it why they are depressed. This lack of focus might also make it difficult for one to make decisions. You might feel so overwhelmed by making even easier choices.

Diet

Another visible symptom of depression that you should never ignore is diet. But how can your food be a depression symptom? Just think about it, have you ever felt so stressed that you ended up mindlessly eating? Is constant snacking an issue? When you do eat, do you opt for nutritious foods or those filled with sugar, high salt, fat, and empty carbohydrates? On the one hand, a poor diet selection will affect your body and your mindset. While on other hand, your body and mindset will affect your eating habits, as well.

Lethargy

Mostly, people who report feeling depressed say that they have less or no energy. They cannot gather the energy to get out of the house, let alone work effectively. It is an interesting physiological association between the body and the mind. If earlier you used to have lots of energy but are now struggling, then it might be a sign of depression.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-10 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high. 

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service! 

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

Top Reasons Why Couples Argue

Rahul and Apoorva dated for nearly 4 years before getting married. Before marriage, they lived in separate places and gave each other the needed space. Though they are both independent, Rahul and Apoorva truly enjoy each other’s company. They share the same interests and dreams of the future. As a married couple, they are simply in love, but they have both observed lately that they have been arguing more than normal. Rahul wonders where these conflicts are coming from, and what it means for their marriage.

Marriage counselor Shivani says If, like the above-mentioned couple, you are also alarmed by the presence of conflict in your relationship, do not worry—arguing is fine. Arguments can simply be a sign that you have become more codependent (the good kind). When you mix your routine, habits, and finances with someone else, it is completely natural for your personal differences to become more pronounced.

The reality is, as a couple, you are two separate entities working as a team. Sometimes being part of a team is a difficult task, but you may already know beforehand that working through a rough patch with your partner can draw you closer to each one. The top reasons couples argue applies to several married couples, so you are not alone.

India’s top Relationship and Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo tells us the top reasons why couples argue.

Money

When you think or see of couples arguing, money is one of the major things that come to mind. Money matters can put lots of differences in your personalities and values in huge contrast. Money is probably something you made decisions about by yourself before being in a serious relationship, so it can be really difficult when you have to share the decision-making process.

Shared Responsibilities

Sharing your domestic space with someone you really love can be wonderful and fun, but it also means having to share up the chores. Sometimes it may feel like one person in your relationship is doing all the tasks, so little things like unloading the washing machine can come to seem like a tall ask. Things like sex, your expectations regarding the cleanliness will not necessarily be clear to each other until you take some time to discuss it.

Jealousy

Jealousy is hard to discuss, but it can play a big role in any good relationship. Seeing your partner talking with a coworker may make you feel unsure of his/her feelings or stir up your own sense of insecurity. Hearing about how much you enjoy your job and how successful you have been there could make your partner feel a little jealous. Both halves of every couple likely feel a little bit uncertain of themselves at times. Reaffirming that the love and respect you have for each one can help put you both at ease.

Intimacy

Physical intimacy is a vital part of your relationship. You and your partner may have different physical needs. Maybe you want your partner to initiate the act in bed, while your partner wants to have the act more often. Talking about what turns you on and makes you feel loved can lower down on the amount of argument you do in this important area of your relationship, in a way that feels good and satisfactory for both of you.

Poor Communication

Miscommunication or poor communication can pop up mostly when you both have plenty on your plate. In the aftermath of miscommunication, you probably feel hurt. An expectation you had was not fulfilled, you may wonder if your partner is actually listening. Sometimes you hear something different than what was actually said, or your words come out in a manner you did not mean.

Feeling of Not Being Appreciated

In closely knitted committed relationships, much of that you do is at least partially for the benefit of your partner. Feeling such as your actions are unreciprocated or unappreciated can mostly precede an argument.

Feeling Fatigued

Between juggling kids, profession, extended families, and friends, you can spread yourself a little extra thin. When you are exhausted, a little remark or a messy room can make you feel more upset than usual.

See, you and your partner are bound to lose perspective once a while but remember it is okay and normal for couples to argue.

If you notice that you and your partner are regularly bickering or getting trapped up in arguments, there might be underlying patterns that require to be addressed in a safe, open, manner like in couples counseling.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-10 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help.  Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high. 

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service! 

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

Signs You are in a Relationship with an Empathetic Person

You might have seen that a person all of a sudden asks you a particular thing about which only you know, yet that person ends up asking regarding that thing. At that point, you may be wondering how come he/she came to know about it. Well, this is one of the qualities of an empath person. It is certain that many of you have heard people refer to their partners to others as empaths, specifically with the surge in these sorts of spiritual practices and beliefs becoming more prominent. For those of you who do not know, an empath is someone who can feel and experience the emotions of people and other beings around them as if they were the Empath’s own.

Empathic persons are also known for being sensitive towards the paranormal, physical pain, and sensations of others, and also who are highly sensitive to their own emotions and physical sensations, amongst several things. Many individuals claims to be an empath, but the number of people who are genuine empaths is quite smaller in number.

In this blog, India’s leading psychologist and marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo tells about the signs, you are in a relationship with an empathetic person.

He/She Experiences Anxiety, Depression, Mood Swings or Other Psychological Phenomena

Empath individual is known for his/her defining feature, being able to feel and experience the emotions of others. Empaths can, in simple terms, put themselves in other people’s shoes with great intensity. Empaths, such as shamans, are well known to absorb illnesses and negativity from people around them. Sadly, shamans are better able to deflect unwarranted energies than most empaths.

They Often Get Sick and Experience Chronic Illnesses

Empaths are quite capable of deflecting negative energies rather than soaking them, but many empaths are not aware of their gift or simply do not know how to manage it properly. Watch out if your partner is having the same issue.

They are Known for Having Intense and Turbulent Emotions

This is actually not a bad thing. In fact, it can be a quite wonderful thing at times. Your partner experience love and happiness in such large quantities that it brings about intense euphoria and peace. Intimacy can also be extremely fulfilling and intense, specifically if your partner loves you when you are with him.

But they also experience sadness, anger, and guilt at extremes too. Sadness could feel soul-crushing, guilt all-consuming, anger becomes explosive. The worst part is that sometimes these emotions aren’t even their own.

They Feel Connected to Nature and Animals

Not be an adage, but this is a huge sign. Your partner does not need to be a full-blown nature fanatic to feel the connection. They can feel the life given off by everything, like the grass, flowers, trees, animals who inhabit the whole earth with us. They can feel the vibrations of the seasonal change too besides they appreciate it all.

Children and Animals Gravitate Towards Them

Do animals or children seem to stare at your partner for no apparent reason? They may be seeing something most of you cannot—the aura. An aura is the energy field. It reflects the true personality and emotions with colors. Animals and children are supposedly more sensitive to such elements, for that reason they may be seeing the biggest giveaway to the person’s true intentions (the aura, in case the wasn’t obvious). We already have seen that children can tell if a person is good or bad, but how do they do it? Well, this is up for you to decide. The bottom line is they know certain things about the person is special, so they gravitate towards them.

They Can Read Others Like a Book

They have a naturally heightened intuition that serves them well in many ways, especially when it comes to reading people. They are an expert at reading people’s intentions and judging their character. It is hard to go by their intuition at times, especially when first meeting someone or when asking for someone’s opinion on their gut feelings, but they have this intuition for a reason. It might not be right every time, but it is the right majority of the time.

He/She is a Very Thoughtful

They care deeply about what they say and do because they understand the consequences their actions could have on those around you, even indirectly. They may even overanalyze everything and worry excessively about what kind of mark he/she is leaving on the world. It’s vital for them to stay self-aware and mindful of their actions to avoid hurting themselves or others, but it’s also important for them to stay genuine and not let their fear of what others think of them controlling his/her life.

All of the above-mentioned signs are good enough to let you know that your partner is an empath or not.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-10 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help.  Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high. 

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option.  Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service! 

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

Ways to Change the Dynamics in an Abusive Relationship

Partners in abusive relationships undergo never-ending trauma. These relationships can seriously undermine your self-esteem, but some individuals come to them with low self-esteem already, because of the trauma or dysfunctional parenting during their childhood. They believe that they are actually inferior and that what they feel, think, and want is less essential than what others do. That is their hidden shame.

As a result, they keep an unconscious belief that they do not really deserve to be loved simply for who they are, but that they need to earn love. This causes fundamental insecurity and fear of being abandoned.

Abuse and withholding love places partners in a reactive mode, focusing on their partner, walking over eggshells, and trying to hide who they are. They consistently try to control the uncontrollable, sacrifice their interests, and try hard to please others and feel accepted.

Few abusers fluctuate between idealizing-caring and devaluing-rejecting behavior. Rather than acting needy, other abusers act either demandingly needy or needless. They are callous and can be remote and emotionally cold. Some could show friendliness toward their partner, while others are consistently critical and contemptuous.

The dynamics in an abusive relationship increase partners’ stress and escalate their efforts to appease and help their partner. Over time, the truth of the addict or personality disordered individual begins to infect the partner’s self-concept and perceptions of reality, also. Their self-esteem is degraded, and they become anxious and drained attempting to abate a crisis, avoid abuse, and hold the relationship together.

The more partners do this, the worse things become. They deny their own sorrows and prevent the abuser from taking accountability for their behavior, needs, and feelings and from availing help. This is called enabling. Moreover, denial blinds them to the point that their beliefs and behavior contribute to their own unhappiness and that they have choices to change.

Today, Delhi based Psychologist and Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo tell about the ways to change the dynamics of an abusive relationship.

The trick is doing just the opposite of what comes naturally to victims of abuse. Here are some ways.

Avail Support

First and most importantly is not to isolate. It is difficult—virtually impossible—to alter the dynamics in abusive relationships without external support. Avail support to see another view of truth, because partners become isolated and confused due to the attacks, threats, and manipulated reality of the abuser.

Focus on Your Recovery

Change does not really start until partners pay attention to their own recovery, not in transforming the other person, over whom they are essentially powerless. This does not mean that they do not have any power or option, but itis over their own actions and lives.

Detach

Detaching does not need leaving or being aloof. It is like having an invisible, protecting strength field. Rather than reacting, you detach and do not react to what other person decides to throw at you just because they are uncomfortable in their own skin. You start to realize that although their words may hurt, they are not real.

Learn and Accept

It is essential to learn all you can about abuse. Learning about it and accepting the reality at a deep level lets you come out of denial.

Meet Your Requirements

You start to honor what you need, feel, and want. You meet those requirements from people who are safe and supportive. This will boost your self-esteem. You no longer feel or think like a victim and become empowered.

Become Assertive

As your self-worth increases, you learn to be assertive. Your horizons improve, and you ask for what you need and set restrictions on what you do not. This is not easy, but your courage helps and grows in recovery. You can get strong enough to leave or suggest that your partner get treatment.

Even when you stay in the relationship, you find that your life is happier, because you have taken control of your own self-esteem and sense of well-being.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-10 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help.  Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high. 

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option.  Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service! 

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.


Things Happily Married Couples Do Before Going To Sleep

Marriage is a lifelong commitment. Sometimes remaining happy in a relationship can be tricky but with a trust that has developed over the years remaining happy is not that difficult at all. After all love, trust and compatibility play a big role in being happy as a couple.

Though there are no secrets or formulas for remaining happily married there are certain things that can ensure a merry time for the couples. And definitely some habits before going to sleep are some of those.

In this article, Delhi’s Best Marriage Counselor, Relationship Expert, and Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares things happily married couples do before going to sleep.

They Go To Bed At The Same Time

Keep in mind that, a couple that sleeps together remains together. Thanks to your busy schedules, you hardly get time to spend with each other. In fact, a few couples, who have a different working schedule, may even go to bed at different times. However, it is important for couples to go to sleep at the same time, which helps them to keep intact the warmth and intimacy in their relationship.

They Do Not Attend To Phone Calls Or Texts

Smartphones are both a blessing and a curse in your life. Your overdependency on your phones, particularly social media, can affect your lives and those around you. This is the reason why several couples who enjoy a happy marital life, keep their phone on silent or attend to calls only when it is a real urgency after they go to bed.

They Do Not Bring Their Work To The Bedroom

If you are somebody who continuously thinks about office work on your laptop or phone even minutes while going to bed, you need to alter this habit as quickly as you can. People who think about work past bedtime is less possible to have a happily married life.

They Do Not Go To Bed Angry

This is one trait that happily married couples are seen doing. They seldom go to bed angry. Even if they had a fight or an argument, they make it sure to resolve it. Harboring negative emotions while going to sleep not only impacts your health but also affects your peace of mind in a negative manner.

Keeps Their Bedroom Clutter And Gadget Free

The bedroom is the only place where a couple gets the chance to spend time with each other without any disturbances. This is the sole reason why married couples keep their bedroom clutter and gadget-free ends up spending some quality time in each other’s company.

Things You Should Know About The Post-Marriage Depression

You have all given your entire energy into the wedding for days and months, and you have gone through the complete process of hiring, buying, and returning everything possible. Now, you are beginning to feel blues. Is post-marriage depression a reality, or is it all in your mind?

The reality is: 1 in 10 brides reports feeling post-marriage depression, and it is likely this number is often under-reported most of the time. You are not alone, and brides, in particular, tend to suffer from it, though grooms can also feel a bit of this.

Here is what you need to know about post-marriage depression according to Delhi’s Top Psychologist, and Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo.

What Causes Post-Marriage Depression

Like any kind of depression, it is difficult to know exactly what causes post-marriage depression. 1 factor appears to be the difference between brides who perceived the wedding as their big goal and those who thought about the wedding as the beginning of a new chapter in life. If you have been preparing for the marriage like some would cheer on like during the run in a favorite sport, it is no surprise you are feeling blue.

Another reason can be the events linked with the wedding. If you are planning a honeymoon, you might be stressed out about it. If you have already done it, the disappointment of getting back to your own home and normal life again could be daunting. Perhaps you and your new partner are now living together for the first time. Depression can definitely result from the changed living conditions, even when you are happy living with your new spouse.

How Can You Prevent Post-Marriage Depression?

If you have not yet held your wedding, it is smart to be searching ahead to what you can expect to post the wedding, good for you. There are lots of things you can do to assist prevent post-marriage depression, though there are no sureties.

First, stay grounded as you plan your marriage. Bear in mind to keep looking past the wedding to your future schedules and the daily things that matter to you, rather than wasting all your energy into the wedding every day. This entire focus will leave a gap after the wedding, so avoid being completely engrossed by the process.

During the wedding and after it, remember that your moment could be here, but you will not remain the center of attraction. Though you can enjoy it, try not to get accustomed to it. Highlight those near you and their efforts and achievements. Sometimes, that can feel better than being the center of attraction.

Lastly, try to share the burden. Not only will this stop you from being totally absorbed in the wedding or from being the center of attraction, but it will ensure you do not reach a zone that alienates friends and family. These people around you will be your critical support post the wedding, as well.

How To Alleviate Post-Marriage Depression?

If you see yourself missing the frenzy of planning and excitement, or feeling blue without actually knowing why you can still recover from post-marriage depression all by yourself. The most necessary step to take is to seek out a therapist if the depression carries on or if you feel like you need to see a specialist you are not the first to suffer from post-marriage depression, nor you will be the last.

You can initially try to shift the planning and creativity-based tasks to something else. Marriage involves a huge amount of both, and this needs both left-brain and right-brain types. You can plan your career or take up a new activity. Learn to dance, take a course in learning a language or simply help some other person.

Have you ever thought about up a new hobby? You might have to drop hobbies in order to make time for the marriage, so this is the perfect time to pick them back up. Never give in when the temptation to spend the extra time watching TV programs. It will only add to the depression. Rather, get involved in something. You can join social work, take up a sports activity, or start exercising daily. In fact, exercise and yoga are some of the best remedies for depression.

How To Set Goals To Recover From Post-Marriage Depression?

Suppose there are no underlying biological or medical causes for your depression, you might be able to treat it by merely shifting your focus and your goals. Rather than planning for a wedding, take a look at the stuff you have always wanted to do. Those things that keep you awake at night. The things that force you daydream about how you could ever possibly achieve them.

Whatever that dream is that you forgot about in the hours of planning the marriage, bring it into the forefront of your mind again and start planning.

Plan meticulously. Do not simply idly think about it time and again. Make a deadline that forces you to get creative as your wedding did. Use checklists and diaries, tell all your friends about the deadlines, make small steps, and recruit your loved one’s help.

There’s no reason why you should have to suffer from post-marriage depression. If the depression continues, talk to a specialist, and remember to confide in your partner, friends, and family. Your support system is always the finest of you, and they can be a source of comfort and joy as you divert your focus from the wedding to your new life ahead.