Tag Archive : best marriage counselor in Delhi

Why Relationship Counselling today is Getting More Important Than Wedding Vows?

Traditionally, marriage in India is the union of two souls, not just an event that brings two people together. In fact, a few decades back, even a large percentage of urban Indians perceived that marriage bonding continues to exist for the next 7 life and death cycles. Times in 2019 has changed, technology development and the emergence of the global economy has shifted people’s lifestyle, changed life priorities, burdened large middle-class populations under loans & monthly EMIs, and most importantly it has restricted the time that people get to spend with their family.

Unfortunately, the conflict between the perception about marriage that most has received from our childhood and the harsh reality of modern urban Indian society has resulted in a common situation – where people get married without thinking of the chances of separation. And they miss taking most of the vital steps required to strengthen their relationship in the current social situation.

That is why it is sometimes a wise thing to think less of the wedding vows and take time to consider what they could do when things may hit a rocky patch in the future. This is one of the major reasons why couples should think about marriage counselling on a serious note.

In this article, Delhi’s top marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares insight on about the reason marriage counselling is more important than the wedding vows.

Premarital Counselling Helps You To Envisage the Relationship’s Future

Marriage counselling can actually start before the wedding. This counselling could include discussing the couple’s individual family past and the family they plan to develop together, including the possibility of kids, how you will deal with conflict.

You can also visit a marriage or family counselor for premarital counseling, which will help you to start your marriage with a clutter-free mind.

It could be a way to clear up any cynicism or fear of marriage and give you a secure place to talk about things like if, when and how many offsprings you want, how you can deal with monetary issues or other stressors in your relationship and to ensure you have similar values and goals for your relationship, your family and your life together.

Taking the time to have premarital counseling also sets you up to be more open to engaging in marriage counseling later on if you need it.

It is not only about fixing things but also about developing stronger roots.

The most common reasons couples opt for marriage counseling include lack of communication in their relationship, lack of emotional support or engagement and worries that they are probably headed toward divorce.

Other factors that often send couples to therapy include fighting or specific relationship matters like infidelity.Some people simply want to make their marriages stronger and last longer and look to seek professional help.

While Proceeding For A Counseling, Be Certain About What You Want From It

Most couples engage in marriage counseling once issues have been broiling for months, or even years, and the more you wait to seek help the complex it is to work through the issues. Usually, on an average, a couple waits 6 years more than they should begin counseling.

Know what you need from counseling from the start. Are you and your partner all in, entirely committed to save the marriage, no matter how much effort it takes? Or is one or both of you are certain you want to call it off? Knowing the answers will help define what success feels like, but either way, you must maintain an open mind about the process.

Tips To Create Trust in A Relationship & Marriage

Trust usually is the act of establishing confidence and being able to depend on someone or something. Trust is essential for relationships, to function and for any person to be relatively happy. Without trust, insecurity sets in.

Trust is a matter of degree, and certain life experiences can affect an individual’s ability to trust others. The matter of trust and relationships focuses on the question of whether the partners are honest and faithful enough to each other.

Being able to trust your partner is the most essential part of a being in a relationship. Trust is said to be the core foundation of every relationship from which a strong connection can be created. Without trust in a relationship, relationships will not grow and prosper to a deeper level.

Delhi’s Top Marriage Counselor and relationship expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares tips to create trust in a relationship. Here they are.

Communicate Effectively

Communication is an essential factor in creating trust between partners in a relationship. Partners must communicate about their problems instead of sitting on them and brooding. When the time comes for communication, do it face to face. Personal verbal communication bolsters the bond between partners in a relationship.

Try to avoid communicate over emails, phone calls or texts. Instead, make it more personal and direct. When communicating, ensure that you keep eye contact with your partner as frequent eye contact during a discussion increases the bond of partners.

Do Not Hide Secrets from Each Other

Trust needs honesty and openness. If you are looking to build trust in a relationship, you must avoid to keep secrets and be open with your partner. To become a trustworthy partner, you must be honest in all your conversations and dealings with your partner.

Secrets ruin up relationships quite rapidly, so it is important, to be honest, and sincere about issues that arise together or individually. Having an open mind towards your partner assists him or her to share their deep dark secrets which are a sign that they trust you.

Set Boundaries

Defining clear boundaries set together is important to develop trust amongst partners. Setting boundaries help in explaining how much space you are comfortable with, in a relationship, physically and emotionally.

Boundaries can be about any kind of things, how much time you need to be alone, how convenient you feel about your relationship to tell other people and so on. Accepting one another’s boundaries is helpful when it comes to creating trust in the relationship.

Learn To Say No

You need to understand one thing, everything that your partner wants is what you are willing or capable to provide. You do not have to say YES every time to everything your partner wants or asks to do. If you do not like the certain thing he or she proposes to do, simply say no. You should not be enslaved to a relationship. You should not be forced to sustain what you don’t like. When a relationship is based on equality, it will be easier for both of you to march forward.

Do not cater to the vagaries of your partner just to make him or her happy, as this will ruin the relationship.

Never Make Promises You Cannot Keep

Never break your promises. Keep your words and your promises. If you have promised your partner that you are going to do something, ensure that you do it.

It makes a lot of sense that you want to keep promises you have made to your partner, but often the little things you promised get forgotten. Keeping your promises about small things is as important as keeping your promises about the big ones

When you are late, call your partner and tell what is holding you down, remember to pick up those items from the local store and remember to pay the bills on time. Yes these things appear small and it might be overlooked, but they go a very long way towards developing trust in a relationship.

Do Not Cheat On Your Partner

It is in the natural configuration of humans to get attracted to more than one person. But this does not permit you to cheat on your partner. Even if you are bored in the relationship, resolve it up or else walk out of it. But you should not cheat on your partner simply because she/ he is not fun to be with or you do not enjoy his or her company any longer. To develop trust in a relationship, make sure you tell your partner plainly that you are not happy with the way things are amongst the two of you, and need to sort it out, or else, walk out of the relationship.

Take Accountability of Your Actions

Take ownership of your behaviour, action, and inaction. Never try to pass the blame to a situation or someone else. Be true with yourself and to your partner as to why you made your decisions.


Counsellor Shivani MIsa

Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo is an experienced and certified Couples Therapist with specialization in the area of Personal Crisis interventions like coping-up with Relationship Issues, Marriage Counselling, Separation and divorce, Child and Adolescent issues, Depression, Stress, Domestic, Loss & Grief. Counsellor Shivani is currently working with India’s top hospital groups like Fortis Hospital, IBS (Indian Brain & Spine) Hospital and with Express Clinics.

Tips To Make Yourself Emotionally Stronger

Whether it relates to your relationships, career, or your own self well-being, knowing how to tough through disturbing situations by finding ways to be emotionally strong can positively impact your life. When it comes to stress, it can affect many people in various ways, some might cry every time they are frustrated or guilty. While others choose to be quiet and hide until they feel good. Though, there is nothing wrong with either of those situations. Being aware of how to manage your emotions and dictate why you are feeling them can help you understand yourself in a better way so that you can stop considering yourself weak.

Emotional strength comes from when you allow yourself to be both independent and dependent. This means developing up your internal resources and becoming comfortable seeking and accepting help,

Learning how to handle life’s misfortunes is a great method to build your emotional strength.

Delhi’s top marriage counsellor and relationship expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo share tips to make yourself emotionally stronger.

Respect the Strength Of Your Past

It becomes difficult to be emotionally strong if you keep living in the past. You need to throw away those thoughts and accept the reality that those struggles made you who you are today, which is a strong, better person. Many a time we have bitterness from the devastation, slavery or even family history of violence and crime. You can instead, respect the struggles and our cultures in a way which are positive. Do not discount the struggle, instead see how it can be a way to respect the strength in your past. If you can honor the strength of the past, you are a result of that past, so you honor yourself and become stronger.

Make Healthy Choices

A lot of your emotional strength generally comes from within. This means you will most likely feel your best if you eat healthily and treat your body with utmost care. Remember that every time you make healthy choices, you actually strengthen yourself. For example, have you selected an apple over a sweet candy, one point scored for becoming stronger? Have you taken a stroll and enjoy the view? Another point scored for resiliency. Honor every time you create a healthy decision.

Help Others in Need

It may sound weird to help other people especially when you are trying to figure out things for yourself. But when you are unselfish you can become strong because the care you show towards others can reverberate and look into caring for your own life, too. Helping others creates empathy and it makes us a better person, over a period of time. This way you become stronger emotionally.

Embrace Your Adversities

Never beat yourself up when things are not going your way. Failing is a part of life and how you look to challenge and accept it can really alter your perspective in a positive manner. Try to practice some positive psychology and start to embrace all your challenges and adversities as your greatest teachers and power for changes.

Identify Your Emotions

Do not look to criticize or punish yourself for having certain feelings. It is natural to feel low, angry or jealous. When you experience any negative emotions, carefully analyze them and figure out what you want your next step to be. Allow yourself to identify and accept every emotion you have and then decide if you want to follow this emotion or let it go.

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How to Create a Strong and Intimate Relationship?

Relationship Tips by Marriage Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo

Many of you believe that love should be similar to the kind of romance you see portrayed in movies, television, and storybooks. Due to this notion, you may feel that a romantic relationship are less if you do not experience this kind of fairy tale relationship.

Many a time you feel like if you can have a perfect prince or princess then life will be a lot easier. You will think that your life will be safer forever.

The reality is you did marry a prince or a princess but that person is also a human, who will have faults and shortcomings like any other person, does not matter how wonderful he or she is. You need to understand that at some point you have to let go of the unrealistic metaphor of romantic love in order to search true happiness.

So, how could you make relationships work and remain happy?

You need to begin with the understanding of what eternal love is and then redefine and update the romantic fairy-tale into a healthier kind of love.

Today, Delhi’s eminent marriage counselor and relationship expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo reveals how to create a strong, intimate relationship. Here they are. These will help you to create true intimacy, find real love and be truly happy in your relationship.

Use Relationships to Teach You How to Be Complete within

Relationships are not just about having another person fulfil you, but coming to the relationship whole and sharing your life interdependently. By letting go of the romantic ideal of merging and becoming “ONE” to love the gaps in a relationship as much as the closeness.

Look Your Partner For Who He or She Really Is

The tragedy in romance happens when you look at the person you are in love with as a symbol of what they have come to show, the idea of him or her. When you understand that more often than not you do not actually know your partner, you start to discover who they are and how they change and evolve.

Be Willing To Learn From Each Other

The idea is to see the other as a mirror and learn from the image of how you can be a better person. When you feel upset, rather than blame your partner and pointing fingers, remain awake to what is yet to be healed in yourself.

Get Comfortable Being Alone

In order to accept that love cannot save you from being alone, try to learn to spend time being with yourself. By feeling safe and secure to be on your own within the core of the relationship, you will feel complete and happy.

Own Who You Are


We generally grasp at romantic love because we’re desiring for something that is beyond reach, something in our partner that we do not think we possess in ourselves. Sadly, when we finally get love, we discover that we have not got what we were looking for.

Understand that true love only exists by loving yourself first. You can get only from another person what you are willing to give yourself.

Embrace Ordinariness


Once the fairy-dust start of a relationship ends, we find ordinariness, and we often try to do everything we can to avoid it. The idea is to see that ordinariness can become the real “spice” of intimacy. The daily loveliness of sharing life with your partner can, and does, become extraordinary.

Monitor Closely Why a Fight May Start

Many couples create distance by fighting and then making up time and again. This allows you to continue the romantic trance, creating scenes and escaping real intimacy. If you become aware of what you fear about intimacy, you will have a better sense of why you are fighting and are likely to fight less.

Expand Your Heart

One thing that unites us is that we all want to be happy. This happiness generally includes the desire to be close to someone in a loving way. To create true intimacy, get in touch with the spaciousness of your heart and bring awareness to what is good inside you. It will be easier to identify the good in your partner when become connected to the good in yourself.

Focus on Giving Love

True happiness is not about feeling good about yourselves because other people love you this is more about how well you have loved yourselves and others. The unintentional result of loving others more deeply is that we are loved more deeply.

Let Go Of Expectations

You might look at things such as romance and constant togetherness to fill a void in yourself. This will certainly cause suffering. If you unconsciously expect to receive love in particular ways to avoid giving that love to yourself, you will put your sense of security in someone else. Create upon your own inner-resources to offer love, attention, and nurture to yourself when you require it. This way you can allow love to come to you instead of putting expectations on what it needs to look like.

These are some ways by exploring them you can create a strong and intimate relationship.

How To Repair A Collapsing Relationship?

There is an old saying that developing a relationship is easier than maintaining it. We are living in such a world now where relationships are becoming complex day by day. We often look to run away when it is the time to mend the relationships due to various reasons. But once a relationship is broken, it’s very hard to recover. Thus, it is very important to pay attention when you start to feel that your relationship is on the verge of collapsing. When you start observing that you are saying we need to talk more, it is a sure sign that relationship is collapsing. Thus, this becomes very important to repair a relationship before it becomes too late. You have to be patient and devoted to the problems that need to be taken care of.

Delhi’s Eminent Marriage Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares her insights on how to repair a relationship that is collapsing. These are:

Find Out The Reasons

Before you try to repair the loopholes of your relationship, you need to find out the root of the issues. If you observe a change in your partner’s behavior, try to find out the possible reasons behind it. Since, you are well aware of your partner’s interests and concern areas, finding out the reason and fixing the problem would not be a difficult task.

Enhance Your Communication

Before involving in an argument, try being a good listener. Always ensure that you always lend an ear to what your partner wants to say. Honestly saying, you cannot be the only one talking all the time. If you let your partner speak, it makes them feel valued and gives you an opportunity to understand the issues better.

Spend More Time With Each Other

Try spending a good time with each other. Even if it involves doing something which you do not like, put an effort. Spending more time with your partner will help you find out the real problem and then you can look for ways to resolve it.

Do Not Bring Up The Past

Even it is a past issue or a long-forgotten fight, avoid discussing the past. It will only make the situation difficult by blowing things out randomly. Pay attention to your present, address the complaints and try to resolve the causes that are ruining it. You will never be happy discussing what happened in the past.

Learn To Forgive

If you can forgive your partner, it will help you save your relationship. Repairing your bonding and connection issues is all about understanding each other and giving another opportunity. Forget what has happened and start afresh. It will help detox your mind and prevent the past from clouding your judgments.

Learn To Compromise

When you are in a committed relationship, it is also about making compromises. You cannot always have things as per your wishes. The earlier you accept this; the better opportunities you will have at repairing things. A relationship that is on the verge of collapsing requires more compromises than a healthy one.

Talk About Your Feelings

Never expect your partner to guess your emotions and thoughts. Rather, be vocal about your feelings. If you do not talk openly about your feelings, your partner will never be able to understand it. As a result, it will create a communication gap which would be be very tough to bridge.

Fun Things You Can Do To Rejuvenate your Romance when you are Married and Have Kids

Life of the married couples can turn up extremely hectic in cities, especially if they have school going children. Commonly today’s new academic curriculum, in most cases, puts extreme financial as well as personal pressure on couples. After a tiring day at the office and stressful driving back to home, they are expected to help kids finish their long list of homework, school projects, exam preparation and so on. 

These things consume so much time of the couples that they usually forget that they have a life of their own as a couple that needs attention, rest, nourishment and refreshment.

Unfortunately, such a life situation make a marriage and romance extremely vulnerable. Talking on this topic Delhi’s top marriage counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo reveals some easy yet fun things couples can do together to rejuvenate their relationship.

1. Arrange for a Date Night Together

Couples who are parents always appreciate a spontaneous date night. But in the free time between those spontaneous breaks away from your routine, arrange for a complete date night together. Date nights do not necessarily have to be expensive to be fun either. Plan for a less expensive date night that allows you both out of the house without having to think about your family budget.

2. Try a Getaway Together

Pack your bags and suitcase and get away for the night or a weekend. A romantic getaway refreshes you both and gives you some quality time outside of your daily family life. If your budget is limited, try for a one-night excursion and opt for a good local hotel. Or if you are thinking for a getaway on a weekend, then you can easily plan for nearby locales from your city or town.

3. Renew Your Wows

Looking for something to do together it’s a little bit elaborate? Renew your vows in front of family and friends or have a private ceremony in your living room. By renewing you give yourselves a great reminder of the bond you two share with each other and it is also a fun way to include your kids into your vow renewal ceremony.

4. Take Up New Hobbies Together

Find for some common ground and look for hobbies you would enjoy as a couple. There could be a simple connection between your hobbies, such as going to a nature park. He will look to spy through binoculars and you can take pictures of the birds or animals you find.

5. Look to Cook Together

People say that the couple that cooks together stays together. Well, take out the measuring cups and recipe book to spice things up in the kitchen. At least one night a month, you and your spouse must wait to eat dinner until the kids go to sleep. Then cook your meal together and enjoy a gentle quiet dinner for just the two of you. If you can get out of the house take a cooking class together to know some new recipes and cooking methods.
 
6. Celebrate Together

Every day should be of a celebration of your marriage and family. Celebrate those moments. Mark your calendar to celebrate your first meeting, the date of your engagement and, of course, your wedding. But also be sure to celebrate other moments of life. If your spouse gets a promotion, cook a special dish to celebrate or give him or her a gift. We often ignore these regular life moments and keep them under the rug but celebrating them as they happen is another way to celebrate you, your spouse and the life you have together as a couple.

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How to Boost Your Marital Life?

In today’s fast and frantic world maintaining relationships particularly the marital relationship is becoming tricky for few individuals. The honeymoon period in any committed relationship is not meant to last forever. Eventually, it becomes certain that sharing and living a life with another person requires an appropriate set of skills. Many couples start to come apart after the few years of the wedding because some of you are not bothering about how to maintain and strengthen your emotional bonds.

In this article marriage counselor and relationship expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo sharing Top 5 Ways To Improve Your MarriageHere they are.

1.      Soften Your Stance

Arguments are one of the major reasons for discord in marital life. Arguments often flare up because one partner escalates the dispute by making a critical or arrogant remark. Discussing up problems politely and without blaming each other works much better and allows couples to peacefully engage in any conflict.

2.      Focus On The Positive Things

In a happy and content marriage, while talking about problems, couples should at least make 5 times as many positive statements to and about each other and their relationship as compared to the negative ones. For instance, a happy couple will say We enjoy a lot instead of “We never have any fun.  A good marriage must have an abundant climate of positivity. Make daily deposits to your emotional bank accounts.

3.      Learn To Fix And Exit The Arguments

Happy couples know how to exit an argument, or how to fix the situation before an argument gets completely out of order. Examples of fix attempts: usage of humor, offering a gentle remark (I understand that this is not easy for you), making it clear you are on a common page (We will handle this ordeal together), backing down (in marriage, just like any sport, you often have to yield to win) and, mainly offering signs of appreciation for your partner and their feelings along the way. If an argument gets too heated, take a 15 minutes’ break, and try to approach the topic again when you both become calm and composed.

4.      Refine Yourself

The happiest and successful couples are kind to each other. They refrain from saying every critical thought when discussing delicate issues, and they will search for ways to express their needs and concerns respectfully without blaming or criticizing their partner.

5.      Adopt High Standards

Happy couples adopt high standards for each other. The happiest and successful couples are those who, even as newlyweds, denies to accept hurtful behavior from each another. Low levels of tolerance for improper behavior in the initial phase of a relationship equals a happier couple down the time.

About Shivani Misri Sadhoo is an expert on Marriage and relationship issues and gets frequently been featured in leading newspapers, magazines and TV channels. Counsellor Shivani is an experienced and certified counselling psychologist with a specialization in the area of Personal Crisis interventions like coping-up with Relationship Issues, Marital Counselling, Separation and divorce, Child and Adolescent issues, Depression, Stress, Loss and grief. Counsellor Shivani is currently working with India’s top hospital groups like Fortis Hospital, IBS (Indian Brain & Spine) Hospital and Express Clinics.

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6 Ways You Can Improve Your Mental Health

Mental health consists of our emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It impacts how we think, feel, and act. It also helps identify how we handle stress, relate to others, and make choices. Mental health is important at every stage of life, from childhood and adolescence through adulthood.

Mental health is a lot more than a diagnosis. And while taking care of your mental health might mean seeking professional support and treatment, it also means taking steps to better your emotional health on your own.

Making these alterations will pay off in all aspects of your life. It can boost your mood, build resilience, and add to your overall enjoyment and satisfaction with life. Eminent psychologist, marriage counselor and relationship expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo share 6 ways to improve your mental health.

1.  Always Tell Yourself Something Positive

Some research shows that how you think about yourself can have a huge effect on how you feel. When we understand ourselves and our life negatively, we can end up seeing experiences in a way that confirms that belief. Instead, practice using words that promote feelings of self-worth and personal power.

For instance, instead of saying, I am a loser. I won’t get the job because I struggled in the interview, try saying, I didn’t do as well in the interview as I could have, but it doesn’t mean I’m not going to get the job.

2.  Focus on One Thing at A Given Time

Being aware of the current moment lets you let go of negative or difficult emotions from past experiences that put us down. Begin by bringing awareness to routine activities, such as taking a bath, eating lunch, or exercising. Paying attention to the physical sensations, sounds, smells, or tastes of these experiences aids your focus. When your mind wavers, just bring it back to what you currently do.

3.  Note down Something You Are Grateful For

Being grateful has been clearly linked with improved well-being and mental health, as well as happiness. The best-researched method to increase feelings of gratitude is to keep a gratitude diary or write a daily gratitude list. Usually, contemplating gratitude is also productive, but you need to get daily practice to experience long-term benefit. Find something to be grateful for, let it fill your heart, and bask in that feeling.

4.   Eat a Good Meal

The stuff you eat nourishes your whole body, including your mind and heart. Carbohydrates (in moderate amounts) increase serotonin, a chemical that has been shown to have a calming effect on your mood. Protein-rich foods increase norepinephrine, dopamine, and tyrosine, which help keep you alert.

And vegetables and fruits are loaded with nutrients that feed every cell of your body, including those that impact mood-regulating brain chemicals. Include foods with Omega-3 polyunsaturated fatty acids (found in fish, nuts, and flaxseed.) Research shows that these nutrients can improve mood and restore structural integrity to the brain cells necessary for cognitive function.

5.  Open Up To Someone

Knowing you are valued by others is essential for helping you think more positively. Additionally, being more trusting can increase your emotional well-being because as you get better at finding the positive aspects in others, you become better at recognizing your own.

6.  Do Something for Someone Else

Being helpful to others has a beneficial effect on how you feel about yourself. Being helpful and kind and valuable in what you do is a great way to build self-esteem. The meaning you find in helping others will nourish and expand your life.

5 Benefits of Premarital Counseling in India

Prior to getting your driving license 30 to 90 days time is required to learn the vehicle’s controls, traffic rules and to pass the driving examinations.

So if you are a driver or have a car in your family, you must be aware of the efforts one has to put to drive. Have you ever thought that just as you needed to prepare for your driving license, it would be helpful if you prepared for your marriage as well?

We are living in a time that perhaps sets the maximum challenges in family and professional life than ever. There is extreme lifestyle pressure on youngsters and that is why in today’s time it is important that couples should go for pre-marital counseling before their big day.

In this article Delhi’s eminent relationship expert and marriage counsellor, Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares 5 points on the benefits of premarital counseling.

1.     Pre-marital counseling helps develop Communication Skills

When couples go to premarital counselling, they talk together to a professional relationship counsellor who is trained to encourage them to talk to each other openly and helps them better understand each other. Couples who go through this type of counselling surely build better communication skills because they have a neutral party there to help them understand each other.

Undoubtedly this is one of the biggest benefits of premarital counselling. Additionally, by learning how to better communicate individual needs and desires, couples also acquire how to reach an agreement mutually. They gain compassion and communication skills that will help them through tough times.

2.      It Helps Couples Plan the Future

Many premarital counselors do more than only help couples talk through their current issues. They also help them plan meticulously for the future. A premarital counselor can help couples set financial or family planning goals, and can aid them to find ways to accomplish those goals.

Premarital counseling is the perfect place for couples to talk about the expectations that they have from married life and what they want personally in the future too. Premarital counselors help their clients focus on healthy and realistic goals and relationship changes.

3.   It Gives an Opportunity to Address Issues

Premarital counseling also presents a great opportunity for couples to challenge issues that could possibly lead to divorce before they become serious. By talking with a counselor, couples may be able to settle money matters or talk about their roles and goals around parenting.

Addressing issues before marriage is the best way to ensure a solid foundation for the future and to avoid serious conflicts after the big day. Of course, it’s important for couples to be honest when they attend premarital counseling. That’s the only way to realize the benefits of this time-honored tradition.

4.  You will enter into marriage with a framework for building a healthy relationship.

Another reason to get premarital counselling is so that you would not be walk blindly in your marriage. Getting premarital counseling may give you a feeling of stability, safety, direction, and an idea of where you are going and what you are doing. It will take some of the potential fear out of the decision, and give you more hope, reason, and guidance. It will provide a framework for building a healthy relationship, and equip you with the tools and skills necessary to successfully navigate discord and to have meaningful conversations.

For instance, Gottman provides antidotes to criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and obstacles to be used in their place. Rather than being critical, we should have a softened, gentle approach to bringing up complaints. Instead of being arrogant about an offence and how our partner failed us, it is much more productive to be descriptive about how we are feeling and thinking about the offence, how we are experiencing it. So, rather than only knowing what we shouldn’t do, and then being unsure of how to react, we now can have a clear roadmap of what we should do without all the guesswork. We will have a plan.

5.  It Allows Couples to Discover New Things About Themselves 

Marriage Counselors ask a lot of questions when they’re working with engaged couples. Listening carefully to your partner’s answers is a great way to learn more about that individual. Yes, many couples perceive that no one knows their partners better than they do.

However, premarital counselling can help bring out important information that they might have been reluctant to share. This provides great growth opportunities while helping couples learn more about each other. It’s also a safe space for individuals to share things that they are anxious or upset about with their partners. It can be particularly helpful if one individual in the couple has been in a failed relationship before.

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5 Ways to Make Yourself More Attractive In Any Relationship

Tips by Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo

Do you know feeling good about yourself can make you more attractive to others?  The more you can love yourself, the more your relationships can become easier and spontaneous. A person who can love
himself/herself and feel confident is a person with deep inner stability, and one who can adapt comfortably to the inevitable ups and downs that come with various relationships.

Today, renowned marriage counsellor and relationship expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares 5 ways to make you more attractive in any relationship.

1.  Choose To Be Happy:

When you are happy, others sense it and feel relaxed in your presence. One way to actively be happy is to develop awareness for your internal critic that voice in your head that criticizes and judges. Surrendering yourself into your internal critic is like vaulting off a cliff into a no-zone.

This is where your internal critic will lead you if you let it. It’s your job to recognize when your critic turns on you and to tell it “Stop!”  Distract yourself with exercise, reading, listening to music, helping others, or doing creative things. Do whatever you can, but dispose of the critic as soon as you hear its voice. Time and again, choose happiness.

2.  Stop Taking Yourself Too Seriously:

You don’t need to be perfect to have stable relationships and love in your life. It’s being imperfect that puts people feel relaxed. There is a type of intimacy that takes hold, a feeling that you can be open with this person because they are being open with you. Yes, it’s important to connect with supportive and non-toxic people.

Mainly, speaking, most of the time, with most people, the negative things others communicate or imply about you are not insults to your character. Don’t give any attention to perceived slights let the small stuff slide off your back. When you’re faced with valid or invalid criticism, try if you can laugh at yourself or make a joke. In the end, you are not defined by others, no matter what they say or do.

3.   Look After Yourself:

People who look after themselves are more attractive because they exude self-discipline. Being in complete control of yourself means others don’t think you as a burden to be taken care. Eating nutritiously, exercising daily, and attending to your emotional psyche should be a part of your daily routine.

4. Do The Correct Thing:

Whenever you struggle with self-confidence, you are likely seeking the approval or suggestion of others. You’re stealthily on the lookout for praise, and a sense that you belong and are doing the correct thing. When you do this, you’re not worrying about the bigger picture because you’re too focused on yourself. A busy search for validation from others won’t certainly bring it; in fact, your insecurity may force people away from you. Instead, do the correct thing for yourself, for others, and for society by and large. Be kind to the people in your life and to those who have less listen, support, and give them your attention. See if this brings you affirmation.

5.   Live For Yourself:

A person who has a sense of purpose and meaning are irresistible because they exude strength. Concentrating on how others may or may not be judging you wastes so much time that could be utilized on getting what you expect out of life. Ask yourself questions, what gives me happiness? What would I like to achieve in this life? What provides me a feeling of being at peace? And then shut the voice in your mind that questions your choices, and start living for yourself.

About Shivani Misri Sadhoo: Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo is one of the best marriage counselors in Delhi NCR. She has served over thousands plus happy & satisfied individuals and couples in India and abroad. She is India’s best expert on Marriage and relationship issues and has frequently been featured in leading newspapers, magazines and TV channels. 

Counsellor Shivani is an experienced and certified counselling psychologist with a specialization in the area of Personal Crisis interventions like coping with Relationship Issues, Marital Counselling, Separation and divorce, Child and Adolescent issues, Depression, Stress, Loss & Grief. Counsellor Shivani is currently working with India‘s top hospital groups like Fortis Hospital, IBS (Indian Brain & Spine) Hospital and with Express Clinics.