Most amongst you know the obvious factors such as infidelity, lack of trust that can damage a relationship. Besides those, there are several reasons which can destroy a happy relationship but these hardly ever catch your attention until it is too late.
Counselor Shivani says perhaps it would not be incorrect to call these as silent killers because those are too subtle to get noticed. But you can certainly save yourself and your partner from falling prey to these relationship killers if you are a bit careful. So, look out for those signs to protect your bond with your partner from hitting the rock bottom.
When couples are in a long-term relationship or have been married for some time, they face this issue of harboring hidden bitterness. Suppressed or unaddressed resentments can create irreversible damage to a relationship. It is quite important to express anger or frustration because suppressed bitterness will come firing out in the future and can erode a relationship.
When couples brag that they are so compatible that they can even complete each other’s sentences, it could be both good as well as a bad sign. What they really need to ask is, can two individuals be so close that they know everything regarding each other to such a point that they can read minds? Or is it simply an assumption? Sometimes, just assuming about your partner’s likes and dislikes and doing things accordingly can do more damage to a relationship than good. Rather than assuming, it is always better if the partners let each other express their views and desires.
Taken for Granted
This is one of the unacknowledged factors that often leads to cracks in the most stable relationships. It is a common human behavior to take a person for granted when you are with him/her for a long time. So, how do you stop it? One of the methods to hold yourself back from being taken for granted is just by breaking the routine.
Not Talking about Intimacy
There are individuals who shy away from discussing their physical needs with a partner. Feeling sexually unsatisfied in a relationship is very common but a lot of couples never address this issue because of insecurity and fear. But unfulfilled desires may lead to low-self-esteem, infidelity, and resentment. The best solution to this problem is to talk about your desires and let your partner know what you need and what are your needs in terms of physical intimacy.
It is Mostly I than We
Selfishness is another unaddressed issue that has the capability to ruin even the strongest of the relationships. The only manner to get over this habit of thinking merely about your interest is by prioritizing what is best for the relationship with your partner.
Coronavirus has pushed the world into uncertainty and the continuous news about the pandemic can seem relentless. All of this is taking its toll on the majority of people’s mental health, especially those already living with conditions such as anxiety and OCD. The question arises how can you protect your mental health?
Being concerned or worried about the news is acceptable, but for several people, it can make existing mental health problems even worse.
The fear of getting out of control and unable to bear the uncertainty are common characteristics of several anxiety disorders. So, it is understandable that various people with pre-existing anxiety are having challenges at the moment.
Plenty of anxiety is rooted in worrying regarding the unknown and waiting for something to happen, coronavirus is that phenomena
So the question remains how can one protects his/her mental health? Take a look at some of the most important things that one needs to follow not just if one has anxiety or OCD related problems but for general people as well.
Restrict The News And Be Cautious What You Read
Reading and listening to plenty of news about coronavirus has the potential to led to panic attacks for some.
When one is feeling anxious his/her thoughts could spiral out of control and one starts thinking about disastrous outcomes. One usually, is worried about his parents, family, and people he knows.
Normally when one suffers one can get away from a situation. But this situation seems beyond control.
Having considerable time spending away from the news, websites and social media can help one to manage their anxiety.
Restrict the duration of time you spend reading or watching things that are not making you feel better. If possible, decide on a particular time to check in with the news
There are plenty of wrong information moving around stay well informed by sticking to trusted and authenticate sources of information like government websites.
Take Break From Social Media And Mute Notifications
Some people have health anxiety and feel necessary to stay informed and find out the subject. But at the same time, they know that social media can be a trigger.
One randomly clicks on a link or hashtag and sees all kind of unverified content and it could make some really anxious and indecisive.
Now one needs to be extremely careful about which profiles or links he/she checks and avoid clicking on coronavirus related materials. Trying listening to songs or reading books instead of using social media.
Mute or unfollow news, contents that could be triggering on any social media platform you are using.
Mute or exit WhatsApp groups if you find them too bothersome.
Stay Connected With People
The number of people in self-isolation may increase so it could be a good time to ensure you have the right contact numbers and email addresses of the people, you care about the most.
If you are in lockdown the feel connected to the people around you.
If you are self-isolating, have a balance between maintaining a routine and making sure every day has some variety.
It may end up actually seeming like quite a productive number of days or weeks. You can work regarding your important tasks or read a book that you were not able to do it until now.
Clean And Wash Your Hand But Not Exorbitantly
OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) people might be seen in the increase in assistance requests from people whose fears have become centered on the coronavirus pandemic.
For individuals having OCD and some form of anxiety, being consistently told to wash your hands can be particularly difficult to hear.
People living with the fear of contamination is one aspect of having OCD. The constant advice or reminders about handwashing can be a big trigger for people who have recovered.
It is quite difficult because one has to do some of the behaviors that he/she has been avoiding.
The matter is to look out for is the function, for instance, is the washing being carried out for the suggested amount of time to decrease the risk of spreading the virus or it is simply being done ritualistically in a particular order to feel simply well?
People with OCD, getting normal means being able to leave the premises, so self-isolating can pose another challenge.
If one is forced to stay at home, one has lots of time on their hands, monotony and boredom can make OCD worse.
It might be possible that there will be several weeks and months of the coronavirus pandemic ahead, it is vital to have downtime. Be mindful, continue to access nature and sunlight whenever possible. Do physical activities, eat healthily and stay hydrated. Practice the following things.
Accept: Observe and acknowledge the uncertainty when it comes to mind.
Halt: Do not react as you usually do. Do not react at all. Halt and breathe.
Withdraw: Tell yourself this is simply the worry talking, and this obvious need for certainty is not supporting and not necessary. It is just a thought or feeling. Do not believe everything you think. Thoughts are never a statement or realities.
Let Free: Let free your thought or feeling. It will pass. You do not have to respond to them. You could imagine them floating away in the form of a cloud or bubble.
Search: Observe or search the present moment, because presently, at this moment, all is fine. Check your breathing and the sensations of it. Look the ground beneath you. Look around and observe what you see, hear, touch, and smell currently. Then shift your center of attention to something else on what you require to do, on what you were doing previously prior you noticed the worry, or do something different mindfully with your total concentration.
There are several clear signs of obsession that you must definitely be aware of. Whether you are obsessed about someone or someone else is obsessed about you, it is essential that you know about these signs. Being in love can be wonderful, but it is completely different from obsession.
When you know about some of the common signs of obsession, you can provide yourself a bit of a reality check. Obsession is never good nor healthy, and the quicker you find out whether or not you have a concern with it the better off you will be.
One of the most basic signs of obsession is that something just does not seems right. Deep down you know that your feelings are not healthy, and you need to put an end to it. Listen to your instincts, because they will eventually end up being your salvation.
No Time For Yourself
If you are obsessed about someone else, you never want to spend a moment away from them. Those who are obsessed with others do not value alone time because they simply want to spend every waking moment with the object or person of their affection. If someone is obsessed with you, they perhaps would not ever want to let you go out of their sight. Anyway, this is not part of a healthy relationship.
There is no way that an individual can be obsessed with someone without being extremely jealous as well. Do you see yourself repeatedly getting jealous of even the slightest affection that others show towards your significant other? Jealousy tends to be a big problem when there is an obsession within a relationship. A little jealousy every once in a while is quite normal, but it can rapidly become a problem for those who are obsessed with the person they are with.
Total Lack Of Privacy
Obsession mostly leads to suspicion and a wretched lack of privacy. Does the individual you are with a demand to have all the passwords of your social media and email accounts? If so, there is a high chance that they are fully and utterly obsessed with you. Everyone needs a specific amount of privacy, even in a relationship. Privacy does not equal to secrecy, and it is important that you understand this.
They Move Too Fast
If with someone you have only been out only a few times and says they love you, consider it as a major red flag. You do not want to get into a serious relationship with anyone who moves this fast, because the probability is, they are already obsessed.
Constantly Keeps On Checking You
If you cannot go out with friends or colleagues without the person ringing up your phone, they are probably obsessed with you. You must not have to pay the person continuous attention no matter where you are.
If you are being threatened in any means by the person you are seeing, it is a matter of obsession, not love. You must take any threats the person makes quite seriously, because otherwise, you may end up in a very complex situation.
We are living in a modern-day world which is fast-paced and there is no getting around it. Everywhere people around us, are working and trying to be as productive as they can. A majority of the individuals these days want to create their marks on the world and sometimes that comes at the expense of their relationships. Particularly, in India, where most people have to work for 6 days a week and have to spend 12-15 hours a day away from home and family. Not only this, to overcome the challenges of daily needs of this hectic pace world there is a trend where both the married partners are busy professionally too. This kind of scenario left very little time for couples to spend quality time with each other on a consistent note.
Of course, there is no denying that to a lot of people, relationships always take backseats as compared to their careers and their personal ambitions. However, it is still not fair to say that people completely disregard relationships these days. It is just that they are getting a little tougher to manage because so many people are looking to achieve more in various aspects of their life. Still, it is a tricky thing for couples to manage both relationship and job.
So, ideally what should be done. Should one opt for a career or a relationship? Is it possible for two busy professionals who are husband and wife to possibly maintain a romantic life with each other? Or how two individuals who are really busy can sustain their relationship without compromising on the other dimensions of their lives?
Make It A Point To Arrange Your Dates And Do Not Miss On Them.
Dates are essential. It is called dating for a purpose. You cannot be dating if you do not go out on dates with each other. When you are in a relationship, no matter how hectic and how tight things might get, you got to be able to manage your schedules in a way that provides substantial time for dates. And more important than that, you have to ensure that you do not miss out or cancel dates. When you mark your dates into your schedules, you have to make sure that you always present up (until and unless there is an extreme situation wherein you really have no other option than cancelling it). If it is not a matter of life or death, then everything else in life will have to take a backseat for your date once you agree on a viable schedule for the both of you to meet. Plant a schedule and remain stick to it.
Devote Time For Each Other And The Relationship In Your Regular Routine
Nowadays time is always going to be the most precious thing that we could ever get or give in our lives. Time is not something that we can purchase nor is it something that we can expand or shorten. Whatever time you have you need to properly utilize it. This is why it is important that we only really devote our time for the things that matter most to us. So, if your relationship is really vital to you, then you have to be willing and dedicated to devoting a substantial amount of time to your partner in your regular routine. You got to be able to make time out of your schedule for your relationship if you really want things to work in a nice manner.
Answer The Phone Or Text Whenever It Comes
Very often, a lot of individuals will fall into the trap of responding late or waiting too long to return missed calls. Never let that be the scenario for your relationship. Given your frantic schedules, you have to grab whatever opportunity that you can avail to communicate with one another irrespective of the platform.
Make It A Point To Never Overlook The Minor Things
If you have a habit of relying solely on the grand and bigger moments of the relationship to give you joy and fulfilment, then you are never going to feel happy or content. As someone who is repeatedly busy and is always looking to achieve great things, you always want instant gratification. It is important for you to have results that are on the spot. You cannot afford to carry that kind of mannerisms into your relationships. In a relationship, you got to have the ability to embrace the grind of it all. You need to place emphasis on even the simplest things in the relationship. You ought to give them value. Does not matter how simple the moments that you share with your partner are, you have to treat them like a valued treasure. You cannot take the minor things for granted because you are never going to find pleasure in your relationship that way.
Be Willing To Make A Little Compromises And Sacrifices For Your Partner
Compromises are a part of the relationship. While you must not be willing to sacrifice all of your greatest goals and aspirations for your relationship. At the same time, you cannot act to be rigid and inflexible either. You need to be able to adjust your goals in ways where everybody wins. It cannot always just be about you only. You have to think and take care of the needs of your partner as well. You cannot behave in a selfish manner. You are not supposed to be a person who is not willing to adapt. You have to accept and acknowledge that there are some dimensions of your life that you need to adjust to accommodate another person who is special and you have to be ready to make those adjustments without any ego, bitterness or complaint. You have to do so wholeheartedly.