Some of the biggest Mistakes Couples Commit Before They Get Married Explains Couples Therapist Shivani Misri Sadhoo
So, you could only talk about all the great things that come along with your marriage, or you can be realistic and prepare yourself with what you really require to make your marriage last and successful yep, you could be in an extremely different world and walk around wearing rose-colored glasses. But divorces yet happen.
Then there is a new generation who are actually realistic about their marriage and up for the challenge to do what it takes to make the marriage one that they can be proud of and really enjoy.
Couples Therapist Shivani Sadhoo concedes that in her career as a therapist she had the honor of stepping into people’s relationships and supporting them to connect a few dots that had been left out post the marriage. She further adds that she has witnessed the ups and downs rights and lefts and crossroads in between.
Here are very common mistakes that couples commit before they got married that eventually turned out to be the cause of their separation or divorce. Through this blog India’s eminent couples therapist Shivani Misri Sadhoo is going to share these mistakes, further hoping that you will be different and have a better probability as a couple.
Getting married because of all the “wrong” reasons
Indeed it is the bitter truth, but the reality is several couples simply dive into the marriage because of certain or several wrong reasons. Depending upon each individual and also couples.
Some of the listed examples are:
- You feel pressurised due to friends, family, relatives, and yourself or get an ultimatum from your partner if in a relationship.
- You have been dating for quite some time and it’s simply time.
- Your friends or peers have kids, now you wish to have kids
- Compare yourself to friends, and acquaintances and do not want to get old and be the sole one not married.
- You think you are all alone, and for simply that you need a partner.
- Another bitter reality is that certain individuals simply want to get married so that they can enjoy physical gratification.
Do not know themselves completely
The most essential relationship you will ever have is the sole one you have with yourself. If you do not take the time to get to know yourself completely, your values, your passions, your limitations, and your deal breakers, your challenges, or complexities how could you ever share them with your partner?
One of the most crucial things you need to do in an attempt to make your marriage work successfully is to know yourself fully and be able to articulate your needs, desires and wants to your spouse in a manner they understand and want to provide them to you.
Lapsing while discussing goals
You are either able to let your marriage happen to you or you can make it happen the manner you want it to be developing goals and a vision that you can both get equally excited about. Having goals not just provides a common passion for you to work on together as a team, but it also lends excitement to your relationship since, you now have things to look ahead to.
Getting too clouded by the thought of a wedding
Alright, you cannot leave out the wedding. True, it is all quite exciting and has its own place in the process. Simply, do not make it the sole thing you think about. Make it awesome, but do not allow reality to subside in an effort to get into a flower and cake fantasy story. Doing that has the strength to blind you to the ground realities that will come along with being a new wife or husband.
Never do some sort of preparation and actually investigate and educate themselves
Certain research indicates that merely twelve marriage preparation sessions lower your odds of divorce by close to 50%. Also, there is a marriage movement going on where marriage coaches, educators, and experts everywhere are giving ridiculous amounts of information, tips, and skills for engaged couples to support and prepare for their marriage. In fact, there are couples who say they’d never have an unsupervised marriage.
When you get ready and have someone to assist you to navigate and negotiating, it makes things a lot better and easier. You know as they say, “work smarter, not harder!” It also fits for marriage. Now there is no excuse, since, the information is out there. You will not go swimming or drive a car without learning how correct? So why would you even commit to a life of something that too with someone without learning how? Never do it.
Do not ask relevant and sufficient questions
Asking questions beforehand and the most essentially relevant question in your relationship is one of the most vital and inexpensive ways to form a solid foundation for your marriage. Talking regarding roles, household responsibilities, finances, in-laws, social activities, intimacy, sex, and various other important topics can create a world of a difference in the future of your marriage.
Hopefully, you will learn from the mistakes of several others who have taken the path you are about to initiate. Remember though, a mistake is not MANDATORILY a bad thing. In an attempt to truly experience love in its purest manner, you should be willing to take risks. If you never take any sort of risk, you would never commit any “mistakes.”
And if you never do any mistakes then you will never learn about the proper way to do things for yourself and subsequently for your partner. So embrace life and never beat yourself up if you make an error, simply make certain you learn something from it to take ahead with you.
No doubt that marriages never work on a fixed formula, but being prepared and doing the right things at the right time can certainly save plenty of heartaches.