Marriage Counsellor and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

We all know that life can really be mundane at times. As much as we’d like to imagine our relationships as an endless journey of excitement, reality often sets in, and things can get boring between couples.

The thrill of those first dates, the butterflies in your stomach, the late-night conversations that seemed to last forever—they can all fade into the background as the days turn into years. It’s easy to fall into the trap of assuming that your partner will always remain the same as they were when you first met.

The level of curiosity, generosity, adaptability, and interest that was present in the early stages of your relationship can begin to fade if left unattended. But here’s the truth: Life is not a fairytale. You cannot always expect a “…happily ever after” without putting in the effort. It’s natural for relationships to change over time, and it’s quite common to grow apart as life’s responsibilities take over.

However, this doesn’t mean that the magic is lost forever. The romantic spark can be reignited, and according to one of the top couples counselors in Delhi, and Gurgaon Shivani Misri Sadhoo, there is a secret ingredient that can spice up your relationship and bring back the excitement you once had.

Are you curious to know what is the secret ingredient that could add spice to your relationship?

The Secret Ingredient: Friendship

Do you know the secret ingredient to a lasting and joyful relationship? While love, trust, and communication are essential, friendship is the true game-changer. Research shows that couples who prioritize friendship enjoy deeper connections, respect each other’s ideas, and handle stress better. They know each other deeply and embrace each other’s flaws, making them more resilient together.

What are the ways to spice up your relationship with friendship as the secret ingredient?

Lend Your Ears

You’ve probably heard countless times that communication is crucial for any relationship, but effective communication involves more than just talking—it’s about listening too. By truly hearing your partner’s perspectives and feelings, and working together to address them, you nurture a deeper connection.

This openness and understanding mirror the dynamics of a strong friendship, which is vital in spicing up your relationship. When both of you feel genuinely listened to and valued, it creates a positive feedback loop that enhances your emotional bond and adds excitement to your otherwise routine relationship. So, listen like a friend.

Be Adventurous

Rediscovering each other is a powerful way to reignite the spark in your relationship and infuse it with excitement and adventure. By revisiting activities that brought you joy in the past or exploring new ones together, you can create fresh, memorable experiences. Imagine the thrill of learning how to dance side by side, the creativity of taking a pottery class together, or the shared exhilaration of a hiking adventure.

Such activities not only rekindle the fun and intimacy that may have faded over time but also introduce a new layer of connection and romance. These moments of shared adventure will not only strengthen your bond but also add a dynamic, romantic touch to your relationship, transforming it from routine to revitalized and exciting.

Share Your Deepest Secrets

Remember how friends share every secret, including those they can’t with their parents? This same level of openness should extend to your relationship. Being transparent with your partner, just like you would with a close friend, fosters trust and deepens your connection.

It’s not always easy to be genuine, and even if you think you’re being real, you might be holding something back. Transparency is crucial for a strong friendship and an even stronger relationship. When your partner is also your best friend, the same rules apply: share your thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment.

This openness allows you to be vulnerable and show sides of yourself that you might not usually reveal. By being transparent, you not only demonstrate trust in your partner but also encourage them to trust you in return, sparking a renewed sense of intimacy and excitement in your relationship.

Distance is Important at Times

Sometimes distance can indeed make the heart grow fonder. Just as friendships thrive with personal space, so can your romantic relationship. By allowing each other time apart to pursue individual interests, you not only preserve your unique identities but also enhance your connection. This space helps keep the relationship vibrant and exciting, sparking the friendship and passion that might otherwise fade.

Words of Appreciation Mean A Lot

Remember how friends often express their gratitude with small thank-you notes for even the tiniest gestures? Take a moment to write a short note expressing gratitude for the little things your partner does—like passing you the salt at the table or finding a book you misplaced.

These small expressions of gratitude matter a lot. They show that you notice and value the little things your partner does. This simple act of appreciation can reignite the spark in your relationship and add excitement to the routine.

So, if you feel your relationship needs a boost, remember that friendship is the secret ingredient. Listen deeply, embrace new adventures, share your secrets, value personal space, and appreciate the little things. By infusing these elements into your bond, you can rekindle the excitement and joy in your relationship.

It’s not wrong to love your job. However, when your workaholic nature starts to encroach upon the delicate balance between your career and your relationship, it can create unseen rifts.

Imagine a couple where one partner spends late nights at the office, bringing work home on weekends, while the other sits alone at dinner with a cold plate.

Over time, the warmth of their connection fades, not because the love isn’t there, but because the time and attention needed to nurture it have been sacrificed.

Just like a garden unattended, relationships require consistent care and presence.

Sharing success with your partner can be a beautiful bond, but only if you remember to share your time, laughter, and love just as fervently.

What are the signs that show your job is destroying your marriage?

India’s leading couples therapist, Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares 7 signs to watch out for that will help you identify if your job is killing your marriage.

Is Your Partner Discussing Work Even on Holidays?

When work consistently invades your home life, even on holidays, it can quietly undermine your marriage. Romantic evenings turn into discussions about deadlines, creating emotional distance.

Invitations for simple outings become overshadowed by unfinished tasks. This imbalance signals a need for nurturing your relationship beyond work, reminding you that love flourishes through shared moments, not just shared responsibilities.

Is there a Poor Communication?

Poor communication can often be a telltale sign that your job is taking a toll on your marriage. When work stress spills into home life, it can lead to feelings of being unheard or undervalued, creating a barrier between partners.

Instead of openly discussing emotions, you might find yourself bottling up frustrations, which can eventually erupt into conflicts at the most unexpected moments.

Additionally, the pressure of work can cause you to engage in unhealthy communication patterns, such as arguing unfairly or resorting to passive aggression.

This breakdown in dialogue not only undermines the connection you share but also leaves both partners feeling isolated and frustrated, highlighting how job-related stress can silently erode the foundation of your relationship.

Are Conflicts Arising Due to Work Stress?

Conflicts and disagreements are a natural part of any relationship, but when you find yourself arguing about issues that were never a concern before, it often signals deeper turmoil.

If you’ve experienced a recent change at work—like a new role, a challenging boss, or unexpected pressures—this stress can seep into your home life, causing irritability and tension with your partner.

This shift may manifest as unnecessary arguments, hinting that the weight of your job is not just affecting your professional life, but is also jeopardizing the harmony of your marriage.

Recognizing this connection is crucial; it’s a clear sign that work stress might be undermining your relationship.

Are You Spending More Time With Coworkers?

Finding yourself connecting more deeply with your coworkers than with your spouse can be a glaring sign that your job is overshadowing your marriage.

When work becomes your primary focus, shared interests and tackling challenges together at work can inadvertently create stronger bonds with colleagues, especially if they’re of the opposite gender.

This shift can lead to a disconnect at home, where the intimate connection with your spouse diminishes.

If you find yourself confiding more in coworkers than your partner, it may be time to step back, reassess priorities, and rekindle the personal connection that initially brought you together.

Are You Missing Important Events?

When your job consistently sidelines you from your child’s significant milestones—like dance recitals, graduations, or championship games—it signals a deeper issue that can jeopardize your marriage.

Promising to attend but frequently breaking those commitments not only frustrates your child but also strains your relationship with your spouse, who feels your absence.

Prioritizing work over these meaningful moments can lead to regrets that linger long after the events have passed.

Is Your Spouse Ignoring You?

When your spouse increasingly tunes you out during discussions about feeling trapped at work or your latest reprimand, it’s a telling sign that your job might be harming your marriage.

Their lack of eye contact or distraction with other activities indicates stress, suggesting that your work woes are creating a growing emotional distance between you both.

Do You Desire To Be Left Alone?

Work-related stress can lead to emotional isolation, causing you to withdraw from your spouse in a bid for solitude.

This avoidance can be detrimental to your relationship, creating misunderstandings and feelings of neglect.

If you find yourself consistently prioritizing work over connection, it may be a sign that your job is negatively impacting your marriage.

If you really cherish your marriage, pay heed to these signs. Balancing work and love demands conscious effort.

Nurture communication, prioritize shared moments over work stress, and cherish the bonds that define your relationship. Remember, a thriving marriage thrives on presence, not just success at work.

Psychologist Shivani is here to help you with your search

We often judge others based on their looks. But did you know that physical appearance reflects inner happiness? It mirrors our mental state and can be an indicator of our overall well-being. Studies have shown that when we feel good inside, we look radiant and attractive on the outside. This is why it is important to take care of our mental health.

Therapy is a great way to take care of our mental health. It helps us to process our emotions, and to understand and cope with our challenges. A healthy mind leads to a healthy body.

Finding a therapist can be daunting, but it’s worth the effort. India’s eminent marriage counselor and psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo is here to guide us through the process.

1. Know about therapy types:  Different types of therapy address different needs. For example, cognitive-behavioral therapy can help those struggling with anxiety or depression, while family therapy can help those dealing with relationship issues. Find the type of therapy that suits your needs. Consult a counselor or mental health professional for more information about what type of therapy is best for you.

2. Experience counts: A therapist’s experience and expertise can be a huge asset when it comes to helping you navigate through a difficult period in your life. An experienced therapist can help you identify potential issues, give you strategies for coping, adjust your treatment plan as needed, and provide support and guidance during the process. Additionally, an experienced therapist can offer invaluable guidance and support throughout your journey, empowering you to make the best decisions for yourself.

3. Consider logistics and location: Consistency is the key to therapy. It is important to find a therapist geographically close to you so that you can attend regular sessions. You may like to check if the therapist is available for phone or video sessions if needed. This will save you time and money, and help you stick to your therapy plan.

4. Ask for recommendations: A good therapist is someone you can trust, who understands your needs, and who can provide you with the most appropriate treatment for your particular situation. Asking for recommendations from people you trust like your friend or a family member is an excellent way to find a therapist who will be an ideal fit. You can also consider looking for reviews online and asking for references from your healthcare provider to ensure that you select a competent and qualified therapist.

5. Therapeutic alliance with the therapist: Therapeutic alliance is the connection between the therapist and the patient. It is important to find someone you feel comfortable with and connected to. This connection is essential for engaging in productive conversations and understanding each other’s perspectives, allowing for effective treatment and outcomes. Building a strong therapeutic alliance takes time and effort. It is important to be patient, to listen, and be open to the therapist’s feedback and advice. This will lead to a trusting and safe relationship that can facilitate healing and growth.

Now that you have a fair idea of what points to consider while choosing the right therapist, you can begin your search.