Marriage Counsellor and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

Once the dating phase is over and you’re ready to take the big step into marriage, your mind is bound to be filled with questions. From financial responsibilities to emotional compatibility, family expectations, and future planning, there’s so much to consider before saying, “I do.” Even if you’ve touched upon some of these topics, there are still important conversations to have—especially before you embark on your honeymoon.

The honeymoon isn’t just a time for travel and romance; it’s an opportunity to understand your partner in a new light truly. This phase sets the foundation for your married life, allowing you to observe each other’s habits, expectations, and emotional needs in a more intimate setting.

What are the key things couples need to discuss before their honeymoon?

Shivani Misri Sadhoo, Delhi’s top marriage counsellor, and couples therapist shares seven essential things that every couple should discuss before their honeymoon.

Money Matters

Setting a budget before heading on your honeymoon is a must. It helps you enjoy your trip without financial stress. Consider travel, accommodation, food, and activities while planning. Don’t forget extra costs like shopping for loved ones.

Unexpected expenses can come up, so keep a little extra aside. A well-planned budget ensures a smooth and memorable honeymoon without overspending or regrets later. Smart planning makes the trip more enjoyable.

Choose Your Destination Wisely

Choosing the right honeymoon destination is crucial for a memorable start to your journey together. You may dream of adventure—skydiving, scuba diving, or trekking—while she longs for a peaceful beach retreat, watching waves dance like fairies in a folktale.

If expectations don’t align, disappointment may follow. Sit down, discuss, and find a destination that excites both of you. A well-planned honeymoon ensures happiness, harmony, and cherished moments that last a lifetime.

Talk About The Menstrual Cycle

Talking about the menstrual cycle before your honeymoon is essential for a smooth and comfortable trip. It helps both partners set expectations and plan activities accordingly. Some women experience cramps, mood swings, or fatigue, which can affect their enjoyment. Knowing the cycle dates allows better scheduling and avoids unexpected stress.

If the honeymoon coincides with her period, discussing options like medication, rest, or adjusting plans ensures a stress-free experience. Open communication strengthens understanding, care, and intimacy in the relationship.

Birth Control

Another important topic to discuss before your honeymoon is birth control. Planning ahead can help prevent unwanted pregnancies, reducing physical, emotional, and financial stress. Sharing responsibility for birth control strengthens your relationship and ensures peace of mind. It’s important to talk about your options and decide what works best for both of you. Some methods take time to become effective, so early planning is key. After all, you want to focus on enjoying your honeymoon without worries.

Set Boundaries

When you set boundaries in a relationship, it is not about restricting each other but about creating a safe and respectful space. Both partners should decide together what is acceptable and what is not. Open discussions about privacy, intimacy, and social interactions help avoid misunderstandings.

This is especially important before a honeymoon, where clear expectations about personal space, finances, and activities prevent conflicts. Talking about comfort levels ensures a stress-free and enjoyable time together, strengthening the bond.

Likes and Dislikes

Do you want your honeymoon to be a dream come true rather than a stressful trip filled with disagreements? Understanding each other’s preferences, likes, and dislikes is the key. Before setting off, couples should openly discuss what they want to do, see, and eat.

This helps avoid misunderstandings and ensures both partners feel included. When both know what the other enjoys, they can plan activities that suit their interests, making the trip more fun, memorable, and fulfilling for both.

Shared Values

If you really want your honeymoon to be the start of a strong and lasting marriage, deep conversations about values are a must. You and your partner won’t agree on everything, and that’s okay. What matters is understanding each other’s perspectives and respecting differences. Shared values don’t mean identical opinions but rather a common understanding of what truly matters. This helps build trust, avoid unnecessary conflicts, and create a bond that can withstand life’s ups and downs.

A honeymoon is more than just a getaway—it’s the first step in your married journey. Open conversations about money, travel plans, health, boundaries, and values create a strong foundation for a happy marriage. When couples understand and respect each other’s needs, they build trust, deepen love, and create memories that last a lifetime.

The internet has indeed revolutionized the world. Gone are the days when information was scarce and communication was slow. Today, with just a few clicks or taps, we can delve into a vast repository of knowledge on virtually any topic and connect with individuals worldwide in an instant. Social media, in particular, has streamlined the process of finding romantic partners, transcending geographical boundaries and time zones.

Yet, amid its convenience, social media has also become a breeding ground for relationship issues. The same platforms that bring couples closer together can also harbour hidden red flags that may signal trouble ahead.

To understand these social media red flags, let’s explore the perspective of top relationship expert and marriage counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo on the social media behaviours that should not be ignored in relationships.

What are the social media red flags in relationships?

Pretending to be single

When a partner behaves as if they’re single on social media—keeping relationship status hidden, avoiding posting photos together, or asking not to be tagged—it raises red flags. While some value privacy, constant avoidance of mentioning the relationship may indicate keeping options open or a lack of commitment. Genuine partners don’t hide relationships; secrecy may suggest dishonesty, embarrassment, or external pressure. Openness and acknowledgement are essential for healthy relationships.

Is your partner spending too much time on social media?

Spending excessive time on social media during dates can detract from romance, signalling that your partner’s focus isn’t on you. It may indicate addiction, where the virtual world overshadows real connections. Social media’s curated facade fosters dissatisfaction and can be an escape from unhappiness. Ignoring moments like sunsets hints at prioritizing screens over shared experiences. Recognizing these signs is crucial; excessive social media use can signal deeper issues affecting relationships and personal well-being.

Posting flirtatious remarks on others’ social media posts

Flirting with others on social media, especially through public comments, signals a lack of commitment and respect in a relationship. This behaviour undermines trust and emotional security, akin to infidelity. Engaging in such actions can lead to feelings of betrayal and hurt. Consistently leaving flirty comments on others’ posts raises doubts about one’s intentions and loyalty. It’s crucial to reflect on whether this behaviour aligns with your expectations for a healthy, monogamous relationship.

Not accepting social media requests

Many a time, refusing to accept a connection request on social media signals reluctance to integrate into each other’s lives. It suggests a lack of transparency and openness. Denying the request may indicate a desire to keep aspects of one’s life hidden, potentially signalling dishonesty or unfaithfulness. By rejecting the connection, the partner may be implying a disregard for the relationship’s importance or the other person’s feelings. Overall, refusal to connect on social media can raise concerns about trust and commitment.

Reluctant in posting your relationship online

Some people choose privacy, but when a partner avoids posting about the relationship on social media while being active otherwise, it raises concerns. The absence of acknowledgement could signal a lack of commitment or reluctance to publicly affirm the relationship. This omission may lead to feelings of exclusion and impact self-esteem negatively. Comparing one’s relationship to others’ flashy posts only emphasizes the authenticity of real-life connections.

Inconsistent behaviour or mismatch between online and offline conduct

When someone’s online persona is drastically different from their offline behaviour, it can raise concerns about authenticity and honesty in a relationship. While it’s common for people to curate their online presence to some extent, a significant inconsistency like this can be a red flag. For instance, imagine if your partner constantly shares posts about loyalty and trust online, but in reality, they frequently lie to you about their whereabouts or interactions with others. This mismatch between their digital facade and real-life actions could erode trust and breed resentment in the relationship over time.

Marriages are often celebrated as the union of two souls destined for eternal happiness. However, the reality is that not all marriages are made in heaven. The question of whether to endure an unhappy marriage “for the kids” is a complex dilemma.

When faced with the prospect of divorce, the decision becomes particularly challenging when children are involved. Should one persist in a toxic and joyless marriage for the sake of the children, or should they contemplate ending it?

Why continuing with an unhappy marriage is harmful for your children?

Leading marriage counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo explains the following factors in the article further. These are:

1. Psychological Stress

An unhappy marriage is often fraught with tension, resentment, and conflict. Children are highly perceptive and can sense this negative atmosphere. Constant exposure to such stress can lead to emotional and psychological distress in children, affecting their overall well-being and development.

Kids are sensitive to their parents’ feelings, and when parents are unhappy, children may feel it’s their fault or experience anxiety, depression, or low self-esteem. These emotional scars can last a long time.

2. Builds Negative Perception

Children learn about relationships primarily through observing their parents’ interactions. In the context of an unhappy marriage, prolonged exposure can normalize dysfunctional dynamics for them. Consequently, their understanding of a healthy partnership becomes skewed, potentially leading to troubled future relationships.

An environment marked by emotional distance and hostility between parents hampers the development of vital emotional skills and communication patterns in children. Such situations breed unresolved conflicts and negatively impact a child’s perception of acceptable relationship norms, perpetuating cycles of unhappiness in their own future partnerships.

3. Delayed Divorce Does More Harm than Good

Remaining in an unhappy marriage until your children become independent may seem like a way to shield them from the upheaval of divorce or separation. However, this approach doesn’t always reduce their stress.

If your children have never experienced extended periods away from you, leaving home, particularly when they move to a new city for further education, can be highly distressing. The added burden of a divorce, coupled with new responsibilities, could potentially disrupt their studies and transition into adulthood.

4. Self-Sacrifice Can Be Dissatisfying

Sacrificing your own happiness for the sake of your kids may seem noble, but it can have negative consequences. Unhappy parents may struggle to provide a stable and nurturing environment. True parental sacrifice means making choices that benefit both parents and children.

You don’t have to be a martyr; divorce can be a self-improvement decision if you still attend to your children’s needs. Happier people are better at everything, including being better parents, which is a great gift for your kids and yourself.

5. Causes Relationship Breakdowns

Prolonged unhappiness within a marriage can gradually foster resentment and bitterness, which may ultimately seep into various aspects of one’s life, affecting relationships with friends and family. Children raised in such an environment may lack positive examples of loving relationships.

Stress and tension can inadvertently strain the parent-child relationship, causing resentment and strained connections, leaving children questioning the authenticity of their upbringing.

6. Disrupts Communication

An unsatisfactory marriage can lead to a communication breakdown between parents, complicating the establishment of fair child arrangements. Resolving issues as they arise is crucial for facilitating decisions in the children’s best interests. Redirecting efforts from a troubled marriage toward fostering a positive co-parenting relationship is essential.

In unhappy marriages, couples often struggle with effective communication, which can negatively influence their children’s ability to express feelings and thoughts, potentially impacting their future relationships and friendships. Teaching kids healthy communication and conflict resolution within a family setting is vital for enhancing their future relationships.

What did we learn?

Staying in an unhappy marriage can harm children by subjecting them to psychological stress, distorting their perception of healthy relationships, and potentially causing long-term emotional scars. Delaying divorce may not always protect them, and self-sacrifice may lead to an unsatisfactory family environment. Effective communication and prioritizing well-being can be key to mitigating these negative effects on children.