Marriage Counsellor and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

Have you ever found yourself on a first date, heart racing, palms sweating, desperately wishing for an escape route in case it all goes south? It’s a rite of passage in the world of dating, where both parties are often teetering on the edge of excitement and anxiety, wondering if this encounter will lead to something magical or just another story to laugh about later. First dates can be tricky. What works for you may not work for the other person.

What do women really want or expect on their first dates?

Shivani Misri Sadhoo, the leading relationship counsellor and couples therapist in Delhi, is here to guide you with those little things that single women want on a first date.

Punctuality – Punctuality on a first date speaks volumes about your character and consideration. Arriving on time demonstrates respect for her schedule and shows maturity and responsibility. It conveys your value for the date and sets a positive tone. Conversely, being late can start things off poorly. Communicating any delays or emergencies promptly showcases courtesy and thoughtfulness, reinforcing your respect for her time.

Honest Conversation – On a first date, single women seek authentic conversations because they want to truly understand their date. They crave depth beyond rehearsed lines, desiring genuine connections that reveal the person’s essence. Meaningful discussions, where both parties share openly and listen attentively, allow them to assess compatibility and determine if they want to pursue the relationship further. It’s about understanding each other on a deeper level.

Being Polite – How would you feel if someone you’re meeting for the first time forgets basic manners? Probably not great, right? Well, women appreciate politeness because it shows respect and consideration. Small gestures like holding doors open or chewing with your mouth closed make a big difference. Plus, avoiding gross or inappropriate topics shows you’re mindful of her comfort and boundaries.

Avoid Staring at Your Phone Always – One of the banes of dating in a digital era is the constant urge to check social media notifications, no matter where you are! But, if you’re constantly glued to your gadgets on the first date, it sends a signal that you’re not fully present and excited about meeting someone new. The thrill of a first date lies in the anticipation and getting to know each other.

If your attention is elsewhere, it’s like saying, “You’re not that important.” Nobody wants to feel ignored or disrespected, especially on a first date where the goal is to connect. Unless it’s an emergency, keeping your face buried in your phone sends the wrong message—it’s a surefire way to kill the vibe and potentially ruin what could’ve been a great conversation.

No Fake Compliments – It goes without saying that on a first date, women seek genuine compliments that come from the heart. They don’t want to feel like someone’s just throwing out empty words to impress them. When they sense insincerity, it makes them feel like their autonomy and boundaries are being compromised, especially if they feel their safety is at risk.

Instead of just sweet-talking, showing sincere interest and affection by complimenting traits that truly matter to you, like her smile, hair, or outfit, can go a long way. If you’re going to call her beautiful, make sure you truly mean it—it’s the sincerity that counts.

Simple and Smart – Women appreciate simplicity and intelligence on first dates. Genuine conversation, thoughtfulness, and sincerity are valued over extravagant displays. Overconfidence and insincerity are major turn-offs, creating discomfort.

Authenticity is key; any hint of pretence disrupts the atmosphere. It’s about feeling relaxed and comfortable, not impressed by theatrics. Simple gestures make for memorable and positive experiences, setting the stage for genuine connections.

While it is true that first dates can be nerve-wracking, focusing on punctuality, genuine conversation, politeness, presence, sincerity in compliments, and simplicity sets the stage for a meaningful connection, fostering mutual respect and understanding.

Communication is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship. Yet, expressing your needs and desires can sometimes feel daunting or uncomfortable. Whether you’re seeking more affection, support, or understanding, learning how to ask for and get what you need in a relationship is crucial for its growth and longevity. Here are some effective strategies to help you navigate this process as shared by Delhi’s leading couples therapist and relationship counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo in this blog.

In what ways could you ask and get what you need in your relationship?

Reflect on Your Needs: Before initiating a conversation with your partner, take some time to reflect on your needs and desires. What are you seeking from the relationship? What specific changes or actions would fulfill those needs? Understanding your own feelings and motivations will help you communicate more effectively.

Choose the Right Time and Place: Timing is crucial when addressing sensitive topics. Choose a time when both you and your partner are calm, relaxed, and free from distractions. Find a quiet and private space where you can have an open and honest conversation without interruptions.

Use “I” Statements: When expressing your needs, use “I” statements to convey your thoughts and feelings without placing blame on your partner. For example, instead of saying, “You never listen to me,” try saying, “I feel unheard when we don’t have meaningful conversations.”

Be Clear and Specific: Clearly articulate your needs and preferences to avoid misunderstandings. Provide specific examples and suggestions for how your partner can meet your needs. Avoid vague or passive-aggressive communication, as it can lead to frustration and confusion.

Practice Active Listening: Communication is a two-way street. Be sure to actively listen to your partner’s response without interrupting or becoming defensive. Validate their feelings and demonstrate empathy, even if you may not fully agree with their perspective.

Focus on Solutions: Instead of dwelling on past conflicts or assigning blame, focus on finding solutions that satisfy both partners. Brainstorm together and be willing to compromise to reach a mutually beneficial outcome.

Express Appreciation: Acknowledge and appreciate your partner’s efforts to meet your needs, even if they may fall short at times. Positive reinforcement can strengthen your bond and encourage continued efforts to support each other.

Seek Professional Help if Needed: If communication barriers persist or if you’re struggling to address deep-seated issues, consider seeking the guidance of a couples therapist or counselor. A trained professional can provide impartial support and offer valuable tools to improve communication and resolve conflicts.

Practice Patience and Persistence: Building effective communication skills takes time and effort. Be patient with yourself and your partner as you navigate this process together. Stay committed to open and honest communication, and be willing to adapt and learn from each other along the way.

Revisit and Revise: As your relationship evolves, so too may your needs and priorities. Regularly revisit conversations about your needs and make adjustments as necessary. Keep the lines of communication open and continue to work together to nurture a healthy and fulfilling relationship.

Asking for and getting what you need in a relationship requires courage, vulnerability, and a willingness to communicate openly and honestly. By following these strategies and fostering a culture of mutual respect and understanding, you can create a relationship that is supportive, fulfilling, and enduring.

In the hustle and bustle of everyday life, relationships often find themselves caught in the mundane monotony. The initial spark that once ignited passion and excitement may dwindle over time, leaving couples feeling disconnected. However, fear not, for there’s a delightful remedy that not only rekindles the flame but also adds an extra dash of excitement – cooking together as a couple.

Let us find out more from leading couples therapist and marriage counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo.

How Couple Cooking Can Transform the Ordinary into the Extraordinary, Infusing Relationship with Renewed Vitality?

Shivani Sadhoo says, given below factors arise while a couple cooks together:

1. Enhanced Communication

Cooking together is more than just following a recipe; it’s the subtle nods, shared glances, and synchronized movements that deepen connections beyond words. In the kitchen, communication becomes an art, vital for a successful dinner service at home, much like in a restaurant.

From chopping instructions to timing, cooking requires seamless collaboration, and developing non-verbal understanding. Solving culinary challenges together, whether it’s a salty soup or an overly sweet dessert, hones communication and problem-solving skills, creating a recipe for navigating life hand in hand.

2. Making Memories

Cooking together forms cherished memories, weaving special moments into the fabric of life. From Mother’s Day brunch to a Diwali feast, life’s milestones are often intertwined with food. Research indicates that the aroma of dishes holds a unique power to evoke potent memories.

In the kitchen, creating flavours and smells with loved ones becomes a recipe for lasting positive associations, igniting special recollections with every shared culinary adventure.

3. All About Teamwork

Cooking together is more than just chopping vegetables and stirring pots. It’s a chance to ace teamwork. Keeping the kitchen clean or doing dishes together is teamwork too. Whether you’re chopping veggies or cleaning up, divide tasks fairly. Even if cooking isn’t your thing, being in the same space matters. As adults, cooking builds curiosity, creativity, and teamwork—essential for healthy relationships.

4.  A Great Stressbuster

Cooking together is like a therapy session for couples. From chopping vegetables to boiling an egg – it’s a shared meditation that lets you escape life’s chaos. Spending that time with your love not only reduces stress but also triggers those feel-good hormones.

Life’s challenges can pile up, affecting relationships, but couple cooking brings warmth and connection. So, unwind, bond, and create something delicious amid the craziness. It’s not just a meal; it’s a recipe for a happier relationship.

5. Develop Intimate Bonding

In a world dominated by screens and constant connectivity, couple cooking offers a rare opportunity to unplug and focus on each other. The kitchen transforms into a haven, drowning out distractions for an intimate rendezvous. It’s a deliberate break from tech, a reminder to savor each other’s company. Sharing the effort of a homemade meal brings a unique satisfaction.

Complimenting each other’s culinary skills? That’s the secret sauce for feel-good vibes! Make at-home cooking dates a regular ritual; it’s a delicious way to spice up your bond.

When couples venture into the kitchen together, they set sail on a journey that transcends the ordinary. Beyond the sizzle of pans and the aroma of shared meals, cooking becomes a catalyst for enhanced communication, cherished memories, seamless teamwork, stress relief, and intimate bonding.

In the midst of chopping, stirring, and tasting, relationships find a recipe for renewal, transforming mundane moments into extraordinary connections that endure the test of time.