Marriage Counsellor and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

Marriages as they say are made in heaven. While it is true that nothing lasts forever, yet with the right mindset, communication, and commitment, marriages can endure and grow stronger over time. So, how do we find out if your marriage is going to last forever? India’s leading marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo reveals some of the signs to look for.

What are the signs that can indicate a marriage will last long?

Though signs may vary, but Shivani Sadhoo shares some of the most subtle signs that may reveal you will have a long-lasting marriage. Those are:

1. Respect Each Other

One of the key signs of an everlasting marriage is the presence of mutual respect between partners. Respect goes beyond mere politeness; it involves valuing each other’s opinions, feelings, and boundaries. In an everlasting marriage, partners appreciate and honor one another, even during times of disagreement. This mutual respect forms a solid foundation, allowing the relationship to thrive and endure.

2. You have time for each other

When couples have time for each other, they get the chance to connect, communicate, and share their thoughts and feelings. This helps to build a strong foundation of trust and empathy, which is essential for any successful marriage.

3. Be Friends First

Friendship plays a crucial role in sustaining long-lasting marriages. Be pals, and confidantes, and support each other like buddies do. Value this friendship—cherish it! Laugh together, share secrets, and always listen. Trust, understanding, and love grow stronger when rooted in a deep, genuine friendship.

4. Emotional intimacy

Deep emotional connection in marriage, built on trust, vulnerability, and understanding, creates lasting love. Couples openly share fears, joys, and insecurities, forging an unbreakable bond that endures challenges and time. A journey where love is not just spoken but felt deeply, a timeless connection that weathers all storms.

5. Inspire and Motivate Each Other

Positive psychology says that when you focus on the good stuff in each other, it strengthens the relationship. You both feel happier, more connected, and motivated to keep the love alive. So, inspire each other, cheer each other on, and your marriage can go the distance!

6. Always There For Each Other

Long-lasting marriages happen when both partners truly care for and support each other. It’s like having each other’s backs through thick and thin. You become like peanut butter and jelly, just meant to stick together. There’s trust, laughter, and understanding, even when things get tough. It’s like being a team, always cheering each other on and helping out when needed.

7. Sense of Humour

Humor in marriage diffuses conflicts, transforming potential fights into playful moments. Couples who laugh together strengthen their bond, facing challenges with resilience and joy, fostering openness and an enjoyable relationship.

8. Money Matters

When both partners are on the same page about money, make joint decisions, and stick to a budget, it reduces stress and fights about bills. So, in a nutshell, when you both handle your finances wisely, your marriage is more likely to go the distance, like a winning team in the game of love.

9. Listen carefully

When you truly hear your partner out, it shows you care, respect, and understand them. You’re not just waiting for your turn to talk, but actually tuning in to what they’re saying. This builds trust and a deeper connection as it helps you nip problems in the bud before they become big issues.

Final Thoughts

A lasting marriage hinges on mutual respect, genuine friendship, emotional intimacy, shared laughter, and aligned values, including effective communication and financial harmony. Nurturing each other’s growth, being supportive allies, and cherishing the bond with love and understanding are essential ingredients for an enduring marital journey.

Right now, several couples or individuals are still working from home for the immediate future. Lots of people are very much always home these days, or a few even working part-time on creative work and taking care of the household. This might be a huge challenge for some marriages if couples are not already so consistent with practicing self-care in their marriage. Even though a steady income, and living in a house with plenty of space, definitely contributes to anyone’s comfort

But your marriage is something that should always be a priority, no matter the extenuating circumstances. One method to prioritize your marriage is to practice self-care, together. Even if you and your significant other just have time to work on self-care once every week, that is still the time that you are solely devoting to each other and to your marriage.

This blog by Delhi’s top Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo talks about self-care in marriage and the ways to relax as a couple.

Couples Therapist Shivani says these self-care ideas are solely intended to do as a couple. Bear in mind that for these self-care ideas to benefit both of you, both the partners have to be willing and interested. Consent always matters in a relationship, even for non-sexual activities. It is not exactly a self-care activity if you have to be forced into doing it.

Unplug your Gadgets and Devices

You and your loved one need some screen-free time together. There are many who cancel their anniversary trip, so it can be celebrated at home instead. While couples watching a movie is fine, however, it is insisted that both of you put away or switch off your phones and laptops while watching movies together. With repeated notifications and more, it is so easy to focus more on your phone than on your partner. Dedicate time to each of you without thinking of your devices.

Go on a Walk

After a long time you two have managed to have some time. If the weather is pleasant, plan to take a walk. Hold each other’s hands. Talk about life. The fresh air and exteriors will certainly do a world of good for both of you.

Spend Some Quality Time Apart

Are you confused? It’s okay, just like quality time together must be intentional–TV series and Chill doesn’t count, quality time apart must also be intentional. When you and your loved one spend time on self-improvement, or you focus on quality time with friends or family, you are spending quality time apart. It is good to have your own hobbies. It is healthy to have your own friends. Your partner should not be your sole source of companionship.

Post quality time apart, you and your spouse will better appreciate and enjoy quality time together.

Set Goals Together

Several couples have some big dreams. Dreams of extensive travel, a big house with a luxury car dreams of kids and their schooling.

It is fun to dream big, particularly, about the distant future. But there is also time to set realistic goals for the immediate future. Big goals usually take time, and they normally take money too. In addition to setting long-term goals, you and your partner should also break them down into medium-term goals.

Marriage goals are not all financial, though. You can also set goals to concentrate on self-improvement or goals to build intimacy.

Some of the ways are:

·       Workout together for a specific amount of time each week

·       Join a hobby club together

·       Attend an event together

·       Schedule a weekly or fortnight date

Learn Each One’s Love Language

Every individual generally has a primary love language. This is how you express love to others. When another person uses your love language you feel loved even more. Learning and acknowledging your own love language, and learning your spouse’s love language, can assist the two of you to communicate better and express love with greater intention.

Give Each Other Massages

First you need to decide together if these massages are simply for relaxation and/or pain relief, or if they are a prelude to getting intimate. You do not wish to be disappointed by a simple misunderstanding post your messages.

If you do not know how to give a good massage, there are some good resources online.

Maybe you need to set the environment right, get out some body lotion or massage oil, play soothing music and give each other massages.

If you do not have time for the complete romance, you can also give each other foot massages or neck rubs while watching a TV show.

Cuddle and Talk

Several couples are affectionate all day long, but there is nothing quite like dedicating a few moments to cuddling and talking. This is a great mode to start or to end your day. Simply you and your spouse, no other distractions. If you are not certain what to talk about, ask a few tried-and-true questions. How are you feeling? What are you thinking? What can you do today to make your partner’s life better?

Just be Silly

No doubt a married life means several responsibilities. However, marriage is not the end of fun. Be playful with your spouse. Run through the sprinklers or dance in the kitchen. Play video games or board games. Share some jokes. After all, laughter is the best medicine.

Show Affection

At times self-care in marriage is actually, just about the little things. Show affection to your spouse throughout the day. Send a cute message. Give a quick neck massage. Kiss right prior to going to bed.

Go to the Bed Together

One of the partners is an early bird, while the other one a night owl. But it is always good to align your sleep schedules more closely. Most nights, you need to try to be in bed before your partner falls asleep so at least you can talk a bit first.

Sometimes you could be both tired at the same time and fall asleep cuddling. This is an absolutely wonderful feeling, but it’s not normally practical with your different sleep schedules. Still, it is nice to try to be in bed together at the end of the day, before either of you falls asleep.

Discuss Things Related to Physical Intimacy in your Life

Getting physically intimate can absolutely be an amazing kind of self-care. But you and your partner need to discuss it periodically. The lists can help you and your partner start the conversation. It includes meaningful videos or articles on topics related to physical intimacy. It will help both of you to set or rectify certain issues if they bother you as far as getting physically intimate with your partner.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control the pandemic’s spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.