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what is emotional cheating in relationship

What is Emotional Cheating? A Guide to Mending Broken Trust

Love is a wonderful feeling. When we love someone deeply, we open ourselves up to vulnerability, trusting them with our hearts and our deepest emotions. However, with this vulnerability comes the risk of betrayal, and one of the most painful forms of betrayal is emotional cheating. So, what is Emotional Cheating and how can we mend this broken trust? Delhi’s leading marriage and family therapist, Shivani Misri Sadhoo answers your question in this article.

What is Emotional Cheating?

Definition–Emotional cheating refers to forming intimate emotional bonds outside a primary relationship, breaking trust and boundaries. It doesn’t involve physical intimacy. Instead, it occurs when we develop strong feelings for someone outside of our committed relationship. Signs include secrecy, confiding in another, flirtation, and neglecting the partner’s needs.   

Emotional Cheating is not the same as Platonic friendship. In a platonic relationship, the emotional connection is significant, but it lacks the romantic or sexual attraction that typically defines a romantic relationship.

How does it happen? Innocent friendships can escalate into emotional affairs, often involving co-workers, exes, online friends, or seeking solace during relationship issues.

What is Emotional Cheating?  A Guide to Mending Broken Trust by Shivani Misri Sadhoo

What is the impact of emotional cheating on the primary relationship?

Impact on primary relationship: It damages trust, weakens emotional closeness, suggests less commitment, and may lead to physical cheating, similar to infidelity.

What are the Signs of Emotional Cheating?

  • You confide in someone else about your relationship issues instead of discussing them with your partner, breaching trust and intimacy.
  • You feel excited while interacting with this person. This indicates a potential emotional connection beyond friendship.
  • You deliberately conceal or minimize the depth of your bond with this individual from your partner, betraying transparency and honesty.
  • There’s flirtatious behaviour with an underlying romantic or physical attraction, crossing the boundaries of platonic friendship.
  • This person fulfils your emotional needs in ways your partner doesn’t, leading to dissatisfaction and comparison, wishing your partner were more like them.

What are the ways to mend this broken trust in relationships and marriages?

Mending broken trust after emotional cheating requires a concerted effort from both partners. It’s not easy, and it takes time, patience, and a willingness to confront difficult emotions head-on. Here are a few ways by which this is possible:

Accept your mistake – One of the crucial steps in rebuilding trust after emotional cheating is admitting and owning up to your actions. Accepting responsibility without excuses or blame shows genuine remorse. Validating your partner’s feelings and creating a safe space for them to express emotions freely nurtures healing and rebuilding trust.

Completely disconnect – When your partner decides to end the relationship due to emotional cheating, it signals seriousness. They must cut off all contact with the third party, allowing verification. This means blocking, avoiding encounters, and setting clear work boundaries if the affair was with a colleague.

Honest communication – Communication is the cornerstone of relationships. Honest, open dialogue is crucial for addressing emotional cheating. It creates a safe space for expressing feelings, rebuilding trust, and sharing perspectives. Through dialogue, partners understand each other better and can work towards healing the relationship.

Try to regain trust – Share your hopes, dreams, and emotions openly with your partner. Plan special dates to reconnect without distractions. Listen actively and empathize with each other. Rebuild trust after emotional cheating through open communication and intentional gestures of love.

Forgive and forget – It may be difficult to forgive and forget, yet it’s vital in overcoming emotional infidelity. It’s not just about pardoning your partner; it’s about releasing self-blame. Forgiveness liberates, empowering you to move forward and enabling relationship recovery.

Now that you understand emotional cheating and how to mend broken trust, remember: that honesty, communication, and forgiveness are key to rebuilding a stronger, more resilient relationship.

5 Major Marital Issues and their Solutions, Shares Shivani Sadhoo

Several couples face at least four out of five common marital problems at some stage of their prolonged companionship. Shivani Sadhoo says if you are among that group too, take heart: every marital relationship has certain issues. The good news is that by being proactive rather than reactive, you can make a huge transformation and see growth and health come to your most essential relationship.

Some couples always struggle with communicating. They are not able to find time to discuss because one of the partners is always busy with work during the day and exhausted in the evenings. This is when perhaps you suddenly realized you needed to schedule a lunch date just as if you were scheduling it to catch up with a friend. But things always do not work like that. Here India’s top marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares some solutions to the 5 major marriage issues.

Lack or absence of emotional intimacy

Planning time to be intentional in sharing your mind and heart with one another is vital here. Talk about things that are truly important to you, and remember not to disagree with or challenge your spouse when they are being vulnerable and telling you what is most essential to them. If time is an issue, look to create a dedicated time into your weekly schedule to be intentional in doing this; otherwise, it is not going to happen.

A dearth of physical intimacy

One great idea for enhancing physical intimacy is to plan time for it. If you both are aware that you have agreed to be together on a specific day and time, you would be able to make it a priority and mentally get ready to enjoy it.

Communication

One method to address a lack of communication is to decide a time for a face-to-face each day, even if it is only for 15 minutes. Make it the same every day, so it is easy for neither of you to miss this opportunity. Do this prior to you spending time with the kids. Or if daily planning is too difficult perhaps because of your professional commitments. Then set up a dedicated day of the week.

Losing interest or lack of appreciation

It is important to opt to put the relationship above everything else, including work and your kids. Act like you are dating again. Enact as you did then. Take time to pay attention only to your partner. Have both of you take the texting challenge to make certain you are staying in touch through the day.

Finance

Decide upon a time to work out a budget that is agreeable to both. Agree to sit down to check at expenses at the end of each month. If the discussion is prearranged and you both come to the table with complete transparency, then the conversation about finance could move from the emotional and into the practical ones.

Your Therapist Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, or emotional and psychological challenges.

Reasons Why Listening Boosts Relationships

If you are not driving, you are sleeping, and if you are at work you are texting, writing e-mails and talking, but rarely listening, means actually, listening.

Listening seems to be a declining skill because listening means absolute listening and nothing else Not thinking of tomorrow’s activity, the “To Do” list and the growing message inbox. Relationship Experts Shivani says listening is such a passive act that several of you simply do not do it.

Some studies have indicated that one typically remembers merely 25 to 30% of what one hears. However, ‘Active Listening’ can enhance that figure enormously. One of the methods to use ‘Active Listening’ is to remember the mostly-used expression that “eyes and ears must be used in the same proportion they have been allocated to you.”

In today’s digital world one seems to be constantly playing catch up with voice calls, e-mails, meetings, and ever-expanding tight deadlines. As a result, one seems to be “broadcasting” all the time but quite rarely listening to what is essential.

The kids tend to watch television whilst texting their friends and doing homework. How do they do that? Actually, the answer is that they cannot do all those things well at the same time.

So, is it that essential? Yes, it is. If one doesn’t truly listen one does not get the actual message being communicated. If one doesn’t get the real message then one can’t act appropriately.

If you really want to boost relationships and grow your business then you have to work towards good listening. Here are some of the reasons shared by Delhi’s top marriage counselor and relationship expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo why listening boosts relationships.

How Listening To Your Partner Can Boost Your Relationships?

You Can Gain Information – If you listen, truly listen; you can learn things about the person, be it your spouse, kids or colleague, their aspirations, their fears, their work, and what you may be able to help them with.

There is so much of the spoken meanings hidden in inflexion, tone, and expression, so listening is critical for understanding and gaining information. And as you all know, information is power. It lets you fashion the necessary responses and strategies to assist the person to whom you are listening.

Increases Your Accuracy – When you listen genuinely, you have a better recollection of vital facts and issues. This can result in fewer miscommunications and errors and makes you more efficient and have more value in your relationships both personal and professional ones.

You Build Trust – When you give your entire attention to the persons expressing thoughts and experiences that are essential to them, they are possibly to see you as a person who really thinks and cares about them.

When you are obviously paying attention to that person and you refrain from interjecting opinions, judgments, and advice, or finishing their sentences, you are seen as someone who cares and can be truly trusted with their information and confidence. This develops trust and later on bonding.

You Form A Relationship – When you listen properly to the other individual’s point of view a real conversation can arise. A meaningful and informed conversation can take place rather than sound bites being chosen and conclusions jumped to. When this genuine interaction takes place, you naturally form a relationship.

The biggest problem in today’s hectic world is that one does not often bother to listen to things carefully, as a result, more friction takes place. Because others perceive that you do not have time for them. This is often the beginning of a collapsing relationship. So, when you are in conversation, let’s be certain to do everything you can to make sure you are being an Active Listener.

It is active listening which leads to solid relationships and relationships are built through several human attributes. At the base of these attributes is LISTENING.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

Top Reasons Why Couples Argue

Rahul and Apoorva dated for nearly 4 years before getting married. Before marriage, they lived in separate places and gave each other the needed space. Though they are both independent, Rahul and Apoorva truly enjoy each other’s company. They share the same interests and dreams of the future. As a married couple, they are simply in love, but they have both observed lately that they have been arguing more than normal. Rahul wonders where these conflicts are coming from, and what it means for their marriage.

Marriage counselor Shivani says If, like the above-mentioned couple, you are also alarmed by the presence of conflict in your relationship, do not worry—arguing is fine. Arguments can simply be a sign that you have become more codependent (the good kind). When you mix your routine, habits, and finances with someone else, it is completely natural for your personal differences to become more pronounced.

The reality is, as a couple, you are two separate entities working as a team. Sometimes being part of a team is a difficult task, but you may already know beforehand that working through a rough patch with your partner can draw you closer to each one. The top reasons couples argue applies to several married couples, so you are not alone.

India’s top Relationship and Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo tells us the top reasons why couples argue.

Money

When you think or see of couples arguing, money is one of the major things that come to mind. Money matters can put lots of differences in your personalities and values in huge contrast. Money is probably something you made decisions about by yourself before being in a serious relationship, so it can be really difficult when you have to share the decision-making process.

Shared Responsibilities

Sharing your domestic space with someone you really love can be wonderful and fun, but it also means having to share up the chores. Sometimes it may feel like one person in your relationship is doing all the tasks, so little things like unloading the washing machine can come to seem like a tall ask. Things like sex, your expectations regarding the cleanliness will not necessarily be clear to each other until you take some time to discuss it.

Jealousy

Jealousy is hard to discuss, but it can play a big role in any good relationship. Seeing your partner talking with a coworker may make you feel unsure of his/her feelings or stir up your own sense of insecurity. Hearing about how much you enjoy your job and how successful you have been there could make your partner feel a little jealous. Both halves of every couple likely feel a little bit uncertain of themselves at times. Reaffirming that the love and respect you have for each one can help put you both at ease.

Intimacy

Physical intimacy is a vital part of your relationship. You and your partner may have different physical needs. Maybe you want your partner to initiate the act in bed, while your partner wants to have the act more often. Talking about what turns you on and makes you feel loved can lower down on the amount of argument you do in this important area of your relationship, in a way that feels good and satisfactory for both of you.

Poor Communication

Miscommunication or poor communication can pop up mostly when you both have plenty on your plate. In the aftermath of miscommunication, you probably feel hurt. An expectation you had was not fulfilled, you may wonder if your partner is actually listening. Sometimes you hear something different than what was actually said, or your words come out in a manner you did not mean.

Feeling of Not Being Appreciated

In closely knitted committed relationships, much of that you do is at least partially for the benefit of your partner. Feeling such as your actions are unreciprocated or unappreciated can mostly precede an argument.

Feeling Fatigued

Between juggling kids, profession, extended families, and friends, you can spread yourself a little extra thin. When you are exhausted, a little remark or a messy room can make you feel more upset than usual.

See, you and your partner are bound to lose perspective once a while but remember it is okay and normal for couples to argue.

If you notice that you and your partner are regularly bickering or getting trapped up in arguments, there might be underlying patterns that require to be addressed in a safe, open, manner like in couples counseling.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-19 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help.  Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high. 

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service! 

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.