Category Archive : Family Therapist

Tricky Relationship Signs, that Subtly Indicates One Must Run

Some couples break up for the most trivial things, while others continue fighting for their relationships not noticing that the entire energy they are consuming is actually going to waste. Well, neither of those is correct because the first is a misjudgment of their partner while the other one tends to create toxic tension. The true secret lies in the fact that there are certain mistakes that are forgivable, and others that are quite difficult to let pass simply like that.

While most of you might think that major break-up reasons might be normally, obvious and easy to spot, the reality is that they actually are not. Yes, some circumstances or characteristics could be so subtle that you would not even notice the fact that they are alarming bells for you to pay attention to.

This blog by Delhi’s Top Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo talks about some unclear and tricky signs of a relationship that can act as an alarm for you. Here, they are.

Your Partner is Unbelievably Charming and there is Nothing Wrong with them

Excessive charm is generally not good for your relationship’s health. Charm seems to hide bigger issues behind an individual’s personality especially when it is constant or excessive. Yes, it feels good in the beginning, but it is also a big red flag that must get you asking yourself, “Then what are your flaws?”. Even in stories, when a girl meets the flawless man of her dreams, he most probably turns out to be some shady character in the end. You are not being asked to look for the drama, but the effort is to draw your attention towards the fact that too much concealing of a person’s natural and spontaneous traits can lead to big shocks in the end. It is either they are hiding certain things behind this constant sweetness, or they are lying about something. If not any amongst those, then also run because sooner or later, he/she is probably going to get bored of the charming role they are playing and will mistreat you as you had never imagined.

You Quit Fighting

It’s quite common that fighting a lot is one of the big break-up reasons. What might be misunderstood, is that not fighting or arguing at all is a good sign. No, no one is telling you to be a drama queen. Healthy relationships always consist of healthy discussions and arguments. It is a normal phenomenon that indicates how two individuals are always in search of common ground to meet on. When one stops mentioning what may annoy you in a relationship, you may think that you have become more mature. However, it is a sign that you no longer look for solutions, but rather care less about the entire thing. If this happens a lot, it will eventually lead you to stop caring completely, and therefore, you must consider a break-up. This is by time, you’d have reached your complete capacity and would lose interest in your relationship.

You are on Your Partner’s Waiting List of Priorities

It will not be stated clearly. It would be indicated in actions. No matter how much you are told you are important to your partner, you would find him/her always acting otherwise. Work, family, friends always take priority over you. A person who keeps you as an option will tend to make you feel guilty and inconsiderate of his/her busy schedule. This is, definitely, ladies and gentlemen, the art of turning tables. A partner who is not as caring as he/she should be would focus on blaming you rather than trying to make things up to you. Occasionally, you would find him/her forgetting about important events/dates or missing out on gatherings they know are important to you.

You are Emotionally Abused

Wait! Do not skip this part. One may skip this point thinking “of course he/she doesn’t abuse me!”. Well, take some time to understand what emotional abuse is. It is when a partner makes you feel bad about yourself by shaking your self-esteem, comparing you with others, practicing extreme control over your every decision of yours, or is manipulating you in every possible manner. Abuse also comes in a very common way which is misdirected anger. A good difference between an abusive partner and a loving one is that the first will mistreat you after a long tiring day at work while the latter will tell you how much they want to escape with you from all the stresses of daily. If you feel any of the above things about an abusive relationship, you must consider a break-up, or else you may lose yourself in a really hurtful experience.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-10 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

Do You Have the Fear of Sleep (Somniphobia) Here are the Tips to Overcome It

Many people cannot wait for the night to come so that they can go to bed and enjoy a resting until the morning, specifically, if they have a good quality mattress beneath them, the one that can give a good night’s rest. But for a few, that is a quite scary, almost a horrifying experience. Yes, here counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo is talking about the fear of sleep, or as it is also called Somniphobia, that can make your life miserable and affect your both physical and mental well-being.

For persons who have this phobia, the idea of falling asleep is unimaginable. There is no logical explanation for this, but for some reason, they are afraid to fall asleep and that they will never get up because something terrible might happen, or that the same old nightmare will be waiting to haunt them as soon as they close their eyes.

What is Somniphobia?

This phobia has several names such as hypnophobia, clinophobia, somniphobia, sleep dread, and sleep anxiety. It is an irrational fear of falling asleep because of what may happen while you are unconscious. The general scenario implies an individual worrying all day long about having to go to sleep, and then, when the moment arrives, their anxiety levels are so high that their body cannot relax enough for them actually to get some rest.

It is clear that at a certain point, the person will fall asleep, but their resting moment will be of low quality and frequently disturbed. If that pattern keeps happening, and it nearly always does when it comes to this phobia, after a certain time, the health of the individual will be jeopardized. So, if you recognize yourself in these steps, you need to know how to overcome somniphobia, because it is not a matter to ignore and it can have serious implications after some time.

Through this blog, India’s leading Psychologist and Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo talks about somniphobia and how to overcome it.

Things that Causes Somniphobia or Fear of Sleep

There could be various for this phobia Here are some prominent ones.

·         Anxiety

·         Nightmares

·         Fear of Death

·         Sleepwalking

·         Sleep Talking

·         Sleep Paralysis

·         Trauma

·         Horror Movies or Stories

Fear of Falling Asleep Symptoms

Your body is always telling you if something is a bit right, one way or another. You need to listen to it properly, pay attention to every detail, and changes it goes through because it can lead you to the core of the issue. When it comes to your sleep deprivation caused due to fear of falling asleep, these are infallible signs. They are:

·         Daytime Sleepiness

·         Mood Swings

·         Memory Loss

·         Chronic Fatigue

Other Symptoms

Some of your body reactions will not so clearly point to having this sort of problem, but if you noticed some of those repeating actions, and you are aware you have been deprived of sleep, you need to think about consulting with the professional.

If you begin feeling distressed as the night time and the bedtime inches closer if you counter the urge to sleep and look to stay up as late as possible if you feel panic attacks or trouble breathing when the night arrives, this could be the problem you are facing. Also, if you find it hard to think about anything else, then the fear of sleep, or have a problem remembering stuff, it is likely you have clinophobia.

On the other side, some symptoms could be extreme nausea or other stomach issues when the time for bed comes, just as the feeling of great pressure around the chest area, and faster heart rate after a minute or two spent in the bed. It might happen you experience things like hyperventilation, extreme sweating, and shaking, while children can start crying and screaming when their parents look to leave the room.

Some Individuals often tend to consume alcohol or some other substances in order to get sleep. Some have strict rules that require to be applied, such as leaving television, lights, and the music on to distract them.

Is There Any Risk Factor?

If you or someone in your family who suffers or suffered from some kind of phobia or extreme anxiety, it is more likely for you to have this specific phobia of sleeping or some other. Though there are no clear thing claiming there is a genetic link, but the reality is chances are increased.

Also, having one of several sleep disorders or a serious medical condition might be a factor of higher somniphobia risk. For instance, if you have a heart-related problem that could lead to death, you may start being afraid of that happening in the night while you are asleep. Eventually, that kind of fear can lead to sleep phobia.

Consulting a professional is the best thing you can do if suspecting you have this sort of problem. They will need primarily to diagnose it properly, and then they will assist you to overcome it. It is not something that will go away all of a sudden, without help, and it is serious enough to impact your physical and mental health, as well as your regular life.

How Can You Treat Somniphobia?

Once it comes to a conclusion on the main source of your phobia, the therapist prescribes you a certain treatment. They could be:

Exposure Therapy

This kind of therapy includes working with a psychologist on exposing your fear and slowly overcoming it. This means talking about the fear, experimenting with some relaxing techniques, and thinking about what it will mean to have a good night’s rest. Sometimes this method may include spending time in a sleep lab or with a professional who stays there while you sleep.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

CBT is based on your counter and challenging the bad thoughts that stop you from sleeping peacefully. That could be pointed to thoughts related to sleep itself or towards the fear that forces you not wanting to go to bed. Usually, the therapist will recommend a sleep restriction method, which means that you required to go to bed and get up every day at the same time, irrespective if you have slept or not.

Medication

There are not medications for phobia, but some of them can decrease anxiety and other symptoms. If there is no other method, then depending on your condition you may be prescribed some medicine.

Conclusion

People who have never experienced something like this cannot probably understand what you are going through, the agony of feeling extremely fatigued but countering the urge to sleep so hard while experiencing all sorts of unpleasant symptoms. The vital thing is not to develop a stigma around it, but to accept you have an issue, the one that is not so uncommon as you thought and is treatable. Be aware that if you keep continuing to ignore it, as several people tend to, you will keep exposing your body to extreme levels of stress that could and most likely will lead to some sort of health problem.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-10 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high. 

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service! 

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

The Secret of Coworking with Your Spouse Decoded By Marriage Counselor Shivani

While organizations have adopted WFH (work from home) format to restrict the COVID-19 spread, situations at home for most of the working couples have turned very challenging, especially among couples who are having the same working hours.

At present, the internet is flooded with guidance and advice on how to do WFH effectively, like put real clothes on, set up a desk space that is not your bed, and goes about your morning routine as though you’re actually heading to work, etc.

BUT the advice is still missing some of the critical issues that couples actually are facing in day to day life, “how not get into a fight with a partner when your mood has been soured by your boss or by that annoying colleague, who will do work chores during office hours, how to keep your relationship throbbing when both of you are getting each other 24×7? And others, how to manage your child’s online classes with WFH”?

India’s leading relationship expert and marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo in this article decodes the secrets for couples to do co-working happily.

1. Create a daily schedule for everyone

Build a habit to devote 5 minutes every day, to prepare your next day’s schedule. Involve all your family members – ask your spouse the timing for his/her conference calls in every family member’s presence, so everyone can remember to avoid making background noises (avoid TV watching, utensil cleaning, running mixes in the kitchen, vacuum cleaner, etc. during that time). Also, schedule a time for home chores before and after office hours with your partner.

2. Plan your Kid’s studies

A major challenge that working couples are facing during WFH, is handling their kid’s online schooling. Hence try to identify the subjects that your child can do on their own and subjects that need your guidance, schedule the easy subject for the kids to do on their own, during your office hours to reduce your time devotion to teach them at end of the day. Also, try to prepare the child for the next day’s class so they can turn self-reliant for online classes.

3. Television and earphone

If you have in-laws and kids at home, surely television background noise can turn into a headache while working for your office. Perhaps it could be a good idea to buy wireless headphones for the TV, so the rest of the family members can spend their time watching TV without any noise disturbance.

4. Give yourself a buffer time

At the end of your workday, take ten to thirty minutes break to unwind yourself before making yourself available to spend with your partner and family. This “buffer time” can help you to release any stresses from the workday, get relaxed, and then help you to get prepare for the family members. Hence, take a shower, change clothes, take another walk, and 20 minutes’ power nap.

5. Separate your workspaces

Being productive and efficient during WFH hours will help you stay happy and avoid stress to a large extent. Hence make the arrangements so you can work with full concentration and give yourself and your partner the proper space to work at their best. These arrangements could be in form of separate workstations in separate rooms, using the headphone for your conference calls, avoid talking to your partner during office hours, etc.

6. Use this time for Special moments 

Remember once you will be back to the old routine, again a large chunk of your daily life will be eaten by commutation to the office, and back home, your time to devote for your partner will again get limited to weekends. And, in most of those weekends, you would be again questioning yourself to get yourself rest to get rid of the weeklong tiredness or spend some romantic moments with your spouse.

Hence take the advantage of the fact that you and your partner are getting time together that you don’t usually get. Hence eat your breakfasts, lunches, and dinner together, get to bed early and spend quality and intimate moments together.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-10 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high. 

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service! 

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

Top Reasons Why Couples Argue

Rahul and Apoorva dated for nearly 4 years before getting married. Before marriage, they lived in separate places and gave each other the needed space. Though they are both independent, Rahul and Apoorva truly enjoy each other’s company. They share the same interests and dreams of the future. As a married couple, they are simply in love, but they have both observed lately that they have been arguing more than normal. Rahul wonders where these conflicts are coming from, and what it means for their marriage.

Marriage counselor Shivani says If, like the above-mentioned couple, you are also alarmed by the presence of conflict in your relationship, do not worry—arguing is fine. Arguments can simply be a sign that you have become more codependent (the good kind). When you mix your routine, habits, and finances with someone else, it is completely natural for your personal differences to become more pronounced.

The reality is, as a couple, you are two separate entities working as a team. Sometimes being part of a team is a difficult task, but you may already know beforehand that working through a rough patch with your partner can draw you closer to each one. The top reasons couples argue applies to several married couples, so you are not alone.

India’s top Relationship and Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo tells us the top reasons why couples argue.

Money

When you think or see of couples arguing, money is one of the major things that come to mind. Money matters can put lots of differences in your personalities and values in huge contrast. Money is probably something you made decisions about by yourself before being in a serious relationship, so it can be really difficult when you have to share the decision-making process.

Shared Responsibilities

Sharing your domestic space with someone you really love can be wonderful and fun, but it also means having to share up the chores. Sometimes it may feel like one person in your relationship is doing all the tasks, so little things like unloading the washing machine can come to seem like a tall ask. Things like sex, your expectations regarding the cleanliness will not necessarily be clear to each other until you take some time to discuss it.

Jealousy

Jealousy is hard to discuss, but it can play a big role in any good relationship. Seeing your partner talking with a coworker may make you feel unsure of his/her feelings or stir up your own sense of insecurity. Hearing about how much you enjoy your job and how successful you have been there could make your partner feel a little jealous. Both halves of every couple likely feel a little bit uncertain of themselves at times. Reaffirming that the love and respect you have for each one can help put you both at ease.

Intimacy

Physical intimacy is a vital part of your relationship. You and your partner may have different physical needs. Maybe you want your partner to initiate the act in bed, while your partner wants to have the act more often. Talking about what turns you on and makes you feel loved can lower down on the amount of argument you do in this important area of your relationship, in a way that feels good and satisfactory for both of you.

Poor Communication

Miscommunication or poor communication can pop up mostly when you both have plenty on your plate. In the aftermath of miscommunication, you probably feel hurt. An expectation you had was not fulfilled, you may wonder if your partner is actually listening. Sometimes you hear something different than what was actually said, or your words come out in a manner you did not mean.

Feeling of Not Being Appreciated

In closely knitted committed relationships, much of that you do is at least partially for the benefit of your partner. Feeling such as your actions are unreciprocated or unappreciated can mostly precede an argument.

Feeling Fatigued

Between juggling kids, profession, extended families, and friends, you can spread yourself a little extra thin. When you are exhausted, a little remark or a messy room can make you feel more upset than usual.

See, you and your partner are bound to lose perspective once a while but remember it is okay and normal for couples to argue.

If you notice that you and your partner are regularly bickering or getting trapped up in arguments, there might be underlying patterns that require to be addressed in a safe, open, manner like in couples counseling.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-10 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help.  Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high. 

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service! 

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

Beware of your Fatigue and Sleeplessness -it could be the Sign of Burnout

In the past 4-5 months, a large percentage of the population is complaining sleeplessness, frequent migraine, headache, body ache, lack of motivation, poor attention level etc. Many people are fighting against these odds while some are trying to accept it by telling themselves it’s natural to have poor sleep, fatigue, lack of interest etc during the pandemic and we can do nothing about it.

According to India’s leading psychologist and counsellor, Shivani Misri Sadhoo poor sleep, frequent migraine, fatigue could be the signs of burnout – and it’s a serious issue.

Counselor Shivani adds that burnout is a state of mental and physical exhaustion that weakens a person’s social and personal capacity to work on a day to day basis. Burnout can also be defined as severe stress conditions.

Unlike cold and fever, burnout does not happen in a single day, generally, it’s a result of prolonged stress levels. Commonly people ignore burnout in its initial stages, as they may perceive it as harmless and manageable. But in later stages, burnout can cause adverse mental and physical damage.

To identify burnout there are some of its common signs: –

1.       Chronic fatigue. 

Burnout starts with the feeling of tiredness in your day to day activity. Gradually the tiredness converts into physical and emotional exhaustion and frequent feeling of drained and depleted of life energy.

2.       Sleeping issues

At the beginning of burnout, symptoms start with the difficulty of falling asleep, then staying asleep half, one or two nights a week. In the latter stages, insomnia may turn into a persistent, nightly ordeal; as exhausted as you are, you can’t sleep.

3.       Loss of Focus and Concentration

Lack of focus and mild forgetfulness are early signs. Later, the problems may get to the point where you can’t get your work done and everything begins to pile up.

4.       Physical symptoms

Physical symptoms may include chest pain, heart palpitations, shortness of breath, gastrointestinal pain, dizziness, headaches (all of which should be medically assessed).

5.       Frequently falling ill

Since the normal body’s life energy is depleted, the immune system starts to weaken and that makes the body vulnerable to infections, colds, and other immune-related medical problems.

6.       Anxiety

In the beginning, burnout may show mild symptoms of tension but as you go to the later stages of burnout, the anxiety can turn extreme.

7.       Depression

Burnout starts with mild sadness and occasionally hopeless feelings but with times people may display extreme depression signs.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-10 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help.  Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high. 

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option.  Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service! 

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

3 ways you can avoid Relationship Problem during the Lockdown

With mounting tension and stress during COVID-19 lockdown, most couples are challenged to maintain peace and a good emotional level during their home isolation. In fact, a lot of couples may be possibly ruining their relationships in quarantine without even realizing it.

To avoid such a scenario and maintain a healthy relationship level during the lockdown, India’s leading relationship expert and couple therapist Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares 3 ways for couples to avoid relationship problem during the lockdown.

Avoid being overly critical

Being stuck inside home added with mental stress and anxieties may easily tempt people to become hyper-focused on every small thing that is happening around them. This may trigger the person to become over critical of their partners. Resultant, you may frequently express advice or criticize them because you are not liking the way your partner is coping with the pandemic, or perhaps [you] are critical of the fact that they aren’t making an effort to exercise, etc.

Remember, your partner too is passing his/her own inner battle, he/she is facing the anxiety and stress from additional home chores, financial challenges, difficulty to do work from home, etc. Hence next time you feel to give advice to your partner or feel angry about him or her, hold for a moment and remind yourself that your partner too is going through their own inner stress and at least try not to add to it.

Give your partner his/her professional space

Lockdown has made working couples to share their working space at home. When couples start to share a workspace, there is a strong possibility that after some time, little friendly tips to partners may soon turn interferences into each other’s professional space. Hence give your partner enough professional space and hold your temptations to share suggestions involuntarily.

Don’t forget to check with your partner

During a pandemic, it’s easy to get caught up in our own stress and mental pressure, but that doesn’t mean you forget to check with your partner as it can hurt them and also send them a wrong message. Asking your partner how they are doing is an easy way to show that you care about his/her feelings. Allowing each other to open up will strengthen the trust within a relationship and allow your home to remain a safe space for both of you to express yourselves.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-10 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help.  Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high. 

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option.  Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service! 

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.