Marriage Counsellor and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

Falling in love is a mesmerizing experience—a whirlwind of emotions, deep connection, and unwavering trust. It’s the invisible thread that binds two souls together, creating a foundation of security and intimacy. But what happens when that trust is shattered? The very bedrock of your relationship begins to crack, leaving behind a chasm of pain, confusion, and disillusionment. Betrayal—whether through infidelity, deceit, or hidden truths—can shake a relationship to its core, making it feel as though everything once cherished is now slipping away.

Does this mean the relationship is beyond redemption? Not necessarily. While some choose to walk away, seeing betrayal as an irreparable wound, others see it as an opportunity to rebuild—albeit through a painful and arduous journey. Healing after betrayal is not for the faint-hearted, but for those willing to undertake the challenge, it can be a transformative process that redefines love, trust, and commitment.

Guide – How to regain trust after betrayal? Answers Relationship Expert Shivani Sadhoo shares

If you find yourself standing at this emotional crossroads, unwilling to give up just yet, here are expert-backed strategies from Shivani Misri Sadhoo, India’s top couples and marriage counselor, on how to regain trust after betrayal.

Identify The Root Cause

The first step in rebuilding trust after betrayal is understanding why it happened. Betrayal is painful. No doubt about that. But before deciding to give your partner another chance, you need to figure out what led to it. Did they do it to protect themselves, or was there another reason? Maybe they were trying to shield you from bad news, handle a financial problem, or support a family member. Sometimes, a simple misunderstanding or miscommunication can make matters worse. Thus, it is better to know the cause and then act upon it.

Talk It Out

The next best thing you can do after betrayal is to have a heart-to-heart conversation with your partner. Open and honest communication helps clear misunderstandings, express emotions, and rebuild trust. It creates a safe space where both partners can share their fears and expectations without judgment. The betrayed person should feel free to ask questions, while the betrayer must answer truthfully. Patience is key, and avoiding stonewalling is important. Talking openly helps in healing, strengthens the bond, and paves the way for a hopeful future.

Embrace Empathy

Sometimes, seeing the situation from the other person’s perspective can be tough, but empathy plays a crucial role in rebuilding lost trust. It’s not about excusing betrayal but understanding the deeper reasons behind it, which can aid healing. True empathy goes beyond acknowledging feelings—it requires actively grasping the depth of someone’s pain. The betrayer must do more than apologize; they must offer genuine emotional support. Meanwhile, the betrayed must remain open to understanding, though without justifying the betrayal.

Boundaries are important

In order to rebuild trust after betrayal, setting clear boundaries is essential for both partners. Boundaries create security, allowing the betrayed person to heal while ensuring both individuals understand what is acceptable. These may include transparency about whereabouts, avoiding tempting situations, and reinforcing respect and commitment. Emotional needs, such as space, time, and regular check-ins, should also be addressed. By mutually agreeing on these boundaries, both partners can foster healing, prevent future betrayals, and establish a stronger, more secure relationship.

Forgive, not Forget

Perhaps the most challenging aspect of betrayal is finding the strength to forgive. Yet, forgiveness is essential for healing and rebuilding trust, though it requires genuine remorse and effort from both sides. It’s a conscious decision, not a justification for the betrayal, but a way to release resentment and make space for growth. Holding onto self-blame can trap you in doubt, hindering recovery. Forgiving empowers you to move forward while giving your partner the chance to learn, grow, and restore the relationship.

Consult An Expert

Seeking help from a relationship counselor or therapist can be a wise step in healing after betrayal. Not all relationships must end in heartbreak, and there is no shame in asking for guidance. Therapy provides a neutral space to address emotions, rebuild trust, and develop healthier communication. A trained therapist helps uncover deep-seated wounds, offers coping strategies, and prevents repeating harmful patterns. With the right support, couples can navigate complex emotions, set boundaries, and find a path toward reconciliation and renewed connection.

There is always light at the end of the tunnel if both partners are willing to heal together. Rebuilding trust takes time, honest communication, empathy, clear boundaries, and forgiveness. Seeking expert guidance can further strengthen the journey. With patience and effort, love can be redefined, making the relationship even stronger than before.

Did you know that it is perfectly normal to have feelings for another person even while you are married? These brief infatuations with another person are part of human nature, rooted in our brain chemistry. However, these feelings do not reflect anything about your marriage, your spouse, or the person you’re having a crush on.

While such feelings can add thrill and excitement to your life, they might also bring feelings of guilt and fear. Do not worry. Here are certain things that are being explained in this blog.

What do you need to do when you are married, yet are attracted to someone else?

Eminent couples therapist and marriage counsellor in Delhi, Shivani Misri Sadhoo is here to tell you what you can do when you are married but have a crush on someone else.

Accept your Feelings – Perhaps the first and foremost step in getting over your crush while married is to acknowledge and accept your feelings. Recognizing that crushes are a natural part of the human experience and do not signify a lack of love for your spouse or a failing marriage is crucial.

By admitting your feelings to yourself, you can take active measures to manage them, preventing them from leading to a potential affair. This self-awareness empowers you to gain control over your emotions, rather than allowing them to dictate your actions, ultimately helping you to move past the crush.

Reflect and Reconnect – When you’re married and having a crush on someone else, reflecting on your marriage is crucial. It helps you understand the potential consequences of acting on those feelings. Assessing what you stand to lose reminds you of the value of your relationship and the life you’ve built together.

Additionally, it prompts you to consider if the person you’re attracted to is truly worth jeopardizing your marriage. Furthermore, reflection may uncover underlying issues within your relationship that need attention. This introspection can lead to open communication with your spouse, strengthening your bond and addressing any areas for improvement.

Stay Away from Your Crush – Any kind of temptation is hard to resist, especially when it involves someone outside of your marriage. When you have a crush on someone, the best course of action is to create distance. While complete avoidance may be impossible, limiting contact is crucial. Setting clear boundaries and sticking to them prevents the crush from escalating.

Reducing interactions gradually diminishes the intensity of feelings over time, safeguarding the sanctity of your marriage. By prioritizing distance, you prioritize your commitment to your spouse and ensure the crush doesn’t jeopardize your relationship.

Set Clear Boundaries – Familiarity can intensify feelings and blur boundaries, potentially jeopardizing a marriage. It’s important to establish clear boundaries in such cases. By maintaining distance and limiting interactions with the crush, you prevent the escalation of emotions. Sending mixed signals only fuels confusion and potential misunderstandings, complicating matters further.

The sooner you recognize that managing a crush is solely your responsibility, the better it will be for you to avoid such behaviours that could harm your relationship. Communicating openly with your partner about boundaries reinforces trust and commitment. Remember, prioritizing your marriage means actively safeguarding against the allure of a crush and steering clear of actions that may compromise the relationship’s integrity.

Honest Communication – We all know that communication is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship. When you have a crush on someone else while you are married, it is quite natural to feel guilty or embarrassed about these feelings, but keeping them secret only intensifies the struggle. By openly discussing your emotions with your spouse, you’re acknowledging their importance and seeking understanding.

This transparency not only strengthens trust but also cultivates a deeper connection. While the conversation may feel awkward, it’s an opportunity to strengthen the bond between you and your partner. By confiding in them, you’re not only sharing your struggles but also inviting their support and perspective. This honesty can breathe new life into your relationship, allowing both of you to overcome challenges together. Ultimately, open communication lays the foundation for surmounting obstacles and reaffirming your commitment to each other.

It is evident from this article that it would be wise to acknowledge and accept your feelings, reflect on your marriage, maintain distance from your crush, set clear boundaries, and communicate openly with your spouse. These steps strengthen bonds and safeguard relationships.