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Heal after an Indian divorce

Life After Divorce – How to Heal and Start Rebuilding

Divorce can be one of the most challenging experiences in life, bringing emotional turmoil, uncertainty, and a need for reinvention. Whether the separation was amicable or contentious, the transition can feel overwhelming. However, life after divorce is not just about coping—it is about healing and rebuilding a fulfilling future.

life after divorce adjustment tips

How do you heal and start rebuilding after a divorce?

Here’s how you can embark on this journey as shared by couples therapist and marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo.

Allow Yourself to Grieve

Divorce represents the end of a significant chapter in your life. It is natural to experience a mix of emotions, including sadness, anger, guilt, and even relief. Suppressing these feelings can prolong the healing process. Allow yourself to grieve and process your emotions. Seeking professional counseling or joining support groups can help you navigate this emotional phase more effectively.

Rediscover Yourself

Marriage often involves compromise, sometimes at the expense of personal aspirations and interests. Post-divorce life is an opportunity to reconnect with yourself. Engage in activities that bring you joy—whether it’s travelling, painting, fitness, or learning a new skill. Embracing your individuality will help you regain confidence and create a fresh identity.

Establish a Support System

Surround yourself with positive influences—family, friends, and support groups who uplift and encourage you. Avoid isolating yourself, as loneliness can intensify feelings of despair. Talking about your experiences and emotions with trusted people can provide comfort and perspective.

Take Charge of Your Finances

Divorce often comes with financial adjustments. If you are dependent on your spouse financially, take proactive steps to gain financial independence. Create a budget, manage expenses wisely, and consider consulting a financial advisor to plan for future stability. Understanding your finances will empower you to make informed decisions about your future.

Prioritize Self-Care

Your well-being should be your top priority. Focus on both physical and mental health. Regular exercise, a balanced diet, and adequate sleep can significantly improve your mood and energy levels. Meditation, yoga, or therapy can help manage stress and foster emotional resilience.

Set New Goals

A new chapter in life means new opportunities. Set realistic and meaningful goals—whether personal, professional, or relational. It could be advancing your career, starting a business, or forming new social connections. Having goals provides direction and a sense of purpose.

Embrace New Relationships Cautiously

Jumping into a new relationship immediately after divorce may not be the best decision. Take time to heal and understand what you truly want in a partner. When you are emotionally ready, approach dating with an open yet cautious mindset. Prioritize personal growth before committing to someone new.

Seek Professional Help if Needed

If you find yourself struggling to move on, seeking therapy or professional counseling can be beneficial. A trained therapist can provide guidance, coping strategies, and a safe space to work through unresolved emotions.

Life after divorce can be daunting, but it is also an opportunity for growth and renewal. Healing takes time, but with self-care, support, and a positive outlook, you can rebuild a life that is fulfilling and meaningful. Embrace this new beginning with hope and confidence—your best days are yet to come.

best online marriage couselling in India

How can you Break Free from the Chains of Past Mistakes?

Life is a journey, and every journey is bound to encounter detours, bumps, and wrong turns. Our past mistakes often feel like heavy chains, weighing us down, and holding us back from moving forward. But what if you could break free from these chains and start anew?

ways to break free from the chains of past mistakes

What are some of the ways to break free from the chains of past mistakes?

Let Shivani Misri Sadhoo, India’s leading relationship expert and couples counsellor be your guide in this transformative process as she explains the process.

Acknowledge and Accept

The first step to breaking free is acknowledging your mistakes. Denial only prolongs the pain and leaves you stuck in a loop of regret. Take a moment to reflect on your past actions. Ask yourself: What went wrong? What could I have done differently? Self-awareness is key, but it must be paired with self-acceptance. Remember, mistakes are part of being human—they shape who we are and help us grow.

Forgive Yourself

Forgiveness is a powerful tool for liberation. Often, we hold ourselves hostage to guilt, replaying our errors like a broken record. To move forward, you need to forgive yourself. Self-compassion is not about excusing your actions but about understanding that you are a work in progress. Write a letter to yourself, acknowledging the mistake, expressing regret, and affirming your commitment to learn and improve.

Learn the Lesson

Every mistake carries a lesson waiting to be learned. Instead of dwelling on the error, focus on what it has taught you. Perhaps it revealed a blind spot in your behaviour, highlighted a toxic pattern or showed you the value of patience. Mistakes are life’s greatest teachers. Extract the wisdom they offer, and use it as fuel to propel yourself forward.

Let Go of the Past

Letting go is easier said than done, but it is essential for healing. Holding onto the past is like dragging an anchor—your future cannot thrive while you’re rooted in regret. Engage in practices like mindfulness or meditation to focus on the present. Visualize yourself cutting the chains of your past mistakes and walking into a brighter future.

Take Action Toward Growth

Breaking free from past mistakes isn’t just about reflection; it’s about taking proactive steps to grow. If your mistake hurt someone, apologize and make amends. If it was a professional error, seek opportunities to upskill. Forward motion is key. Start small, set achievable goals, and celebrate your progress.

Surround Yourself with Support

No one breaks free alone. Seek guidance from a trusted friend, family member, or mentor who can guide you toward self-discovery. Sharing your journey with others can lighten the load and provide new perspectives.

The Power of Renewal

Mistakes do not define you; how you respond to them does. Life’s greatest transformations often emerge from its darkest moments. By acknowledging, forgiving, and learning, you can break free from the chains of your past and step into a future filled with possibility.

Your past is just a chapter—not the whole story. Embrace the journey of growth and allow yourself the freedom to begin again.

couples therapist in gurgaon_shivani misri sadhoo

Things You Can Do When Your Partner Doesn’t Have Time for You

We live in an era where time seems to slip through our fingers like sand. There’s always another errand to run, another deadline to meet, and another responsibility to juggle. Amidst this whirlwind of activity, our relationships often take a backseat.

We tend to overlook or take for granted the special moments that nurture and sustain our bonds.

Whether it’s taking a leisurely walk in the park, sharing a quiet cup of morning coffee, or watching the star-studded sky by the sea, these seemingly small moments are the building blocks of true connection and intimacy.

couples therapist in delhi_shivani misri sadhoo

What happens when your partner doesn’t have time for these precious moments and how to rectify the situation?

Here are 7 simple yet meaningful ways to bridge the gap and keep the connection alive shared by one of Delhi’s leading couples therapistsShivani Misri Sadhoo.

Greet Each Other

Sometimes, little things go unnoticed in relationships, yet they hold profound importance. Greeting and parting gestures, like warmly saying hello or goodbye to your partner, are among these subtle yet impactful acts.

They signify attentiveness, respect, and care, showing your partner they are valued and cherished in your life. By consistently acknowledging their presence and showing interest in their day, these simple gestures strengthen emotional bonds and foster a foundation of mutual respect and security in a relationship.

Talk to Each Other

Talk to each other. Setting aside dedicated time to connect with your partner and genuinely inquire about their day demonstrates a profound interest in their life.

By actively listening and remembering details they share, such as their projects or challenges, you show that their experiences matter deeply to you. This open communication nurtures intimacy and fortifies the foundation of trust and understanding in your relationship.

Equally important is expressing your own feelings and needs openly, using “I” statements to avoid blame and promote mutual empathy. This approach cultivates a supportive environment where both partners feel valued and heard, nurturing a healthy and fulfilling relationship.

Listen To Each Other

Communication is a two-way process. It involves more than just speaking; it’s about truly listening and understanding each other. When partners actively listen without deflection or defensiveness, they create a safe space for vulnerability and shared feelings.

Feeling heard builds trust and respect, showing that each person’s thoughts and emotions matter. While hearing is passive, listening is active and requires genuine attention to grasp the speaker’s perspective fully. In essence, effective listening strengthens connections by validating each other’s experiences and nurturing deeper understanding in the relationship.

Common Interests

When two people share or have similar interests, it can significantly ease the challenges when one partner lacks time for the other. Rather than viewing chores and responsibilities as barriers, tackling them together becomes opportunity for bonding.

Whether it’s grocery shopping, exploring new hobbies, or cleaning the house as a team, these shared moments foster deeper connection and joy. Even if partners are opposites, finding common ground and meeting halfway ensures a balanced and fulfilling relationship.

Be Supportive

Sometimes all it takes is to understand each other’s commitments when your partner doesn’t have enough time for you. By being mindful of their needs and demonstrating how they can make you feel loved and cherished through small gestures, you foster cooperation.

Making requests instead of demands shows flexibility and supports their responsibilities. Acknowledge their time constraints, offer encouragement, and reassure them of your unwavering support, building a strong foundation of understanding in your relationship.

Say NO to Technology For Some Time

You will find that setting limits on technology can greatly enhance quality time with your partner. Designate tech-free zones like the dinner table, and establish regular “techno-curfews” for uninterrupted moments together.

By resisting the urge to check devices during conversations or breaks, you demonstrate genuine focus and respect. This small gesture prioritizes your partner over distractions, strengthening your connection even in everyday moments.

Sweet Surprises

Sometimes, sweet surprises can win your partner’s heart and attention, especially when they don’t have much time. Plan creative, personalized activities based on their interests, like a romantic getaway or a concert. The anticipation and shared joy strengthen your bond.

Capture these moments with photos and stories, creating lasting memories. Surprise your partner to keep the relationship exciting and meaningful.

These tips emphasize the importance of small, meaningful actions in nurturing relationships. By greeting, communicating, listening, sharing interests, supporting each other, limiting technology, and planning sweet surprises, couples can maintain intimacy and connection even during busy times.

what is emotional cheating in relationship

What is Emotional Cheating? A Guide to Mending Broken Trust

Love is a wonderful feeling. When we love someone deeply, we open ourselves up to vulnerability, trusting them with our hearts and our deepest emotions. However, with this vulnerability comes the risk of betrayal, and one of the most painful forms of betrayal is emotional cheating. So, what is Emotional Cheating and how can we mend this broken trust? Delhi’s leading marriage and family therapist, Shivani Misri Sadhoo answers your question in this article.

What is Emotional Cheating?

Definition–Emotional cheating refers to forming intimate emotional bonds outside a primary relationship, breaking trust and boundaries. It doesn’t involve physical intimacy. Instead, it occurs when we develop strong feelings for someone outside of our committed relationship. Signs include secrecy, confiding in another, flirtation, and neglecting the partner’s needs.   

Emotional Cheating is not the same as Platonic friendship. In a platonic relationship, the emotional connection is significant, but it lacks the romantic or sexual attraction that typically defines a romantic relationship.

How does it happen? Innocent friendships can escalate into emotional affairs, often involving co-workers, exes, online friends, or seeking solace during relationship issues.

What is Emotional Cheating?  A Guide to Mending Broken Trust by Shivani Misri Sadhoo

What is the impact of emotional cheating on the primary relationship?

Impact on primary relationship: It damages trust, weakens emotional closeness, suggests less commitment, and may lead to physical cheating, similar to infidelity.

What are the Signs of Emotional Cheating?

  • You confide in someone else about your relationship issues instead of discussing them with your partner, breaching trust and intimacy.
  • You feel excited while interacting with this person. This indicates a potential emotional connection beyond friendship.
  • You deliberately conceal or minimize the depth of your bond with this individual from your partner, betraying transparency and honesty.
  • There’s flirtatious behaviour with an underlying romantic or physical attraction, crossing the boundaries of platonic friendship.
  • This person fulfils your emotional needs in ways your partner doesn’t, leading to dissatisfaction and comparison, wishing your partner were more like them.

What are the ways to mend this broken trust in relationships and marriages?

Mending broken trust after emotional cheating requires a concerted effort from both partners. It’s not easy, and it takes time, patience, and a willingness to confront difficult emotions head-on. Here are a few ways by which this is possible:

Accept your mistake – One of the crucial steps in rebuilding trust after emotional cheating is admitting and owning up to your actions. Accepting responsibility without excuses or blame shows genuine remorse. Validating your partner’s feelings and creating a safe space for them to express emotions freely nurtures healing and rebuilding trust.

Completely disconnect – When your partner decides to end the relationship due to emotional cheating, it signals seriousness. They must cut off all contact with the third party, allowing verification. This means blocking, avoiding encounters, and setting clear work boundaries if the affair was with a colleague.

Honest communication – Communication is the cornerstone of relationships. Honest, open dialogue is crucial for addressing emotional cheating. It creates a safe space for expressing feelings, rebuilding trust, and sharing perspectives. Through dialogue, partners understand each other better and can work towards healing the relationship.

Try to regain trust – Share your hopes, dreams, and emotions openly with your partner. Plan special dates to reconnect without distractions. Listen actively and empathize with each other. Rebuild trust after emotional cheating through open communication and intentional gestures of love.

Forgive and forget – It may be difficult to forgive and forget, yet it’s vital in overcoming emotional infidelity. It’s not just about pardoning your partner; it’s about releasing self-blame. Forgiveness liberates, empowering you to move forward and enabling relationship recovery.

Now that you understand emotional cheating and how to mend broken trust, remember: that honesty, communication, and forgiveness are key to rebuilding a stronger, more resilient relationship.

impact of social media on relationship by Shivani Sadhoo

Do You know what are the Social Media Red Flags In Relationships?

The internet has indeed revolutionized the world. Gone are the days when information was scarce and communication was slow. Today, with just a few clicks or taps, we can delve into a vast repository of knowledge on virtually any topic and connect with individuals worldwide in an instant. Social media, in particular, has streamlined the process of finding romantic partners, transcending geographical boundaries and time zones.

Yet, amid its convenience, social media has also become a breeding ground for relationship issues. The same platforms that bring couples closer together can also harbour hidden red flags that may signal trouble ahead.

To understand these social media red flags, let’s explore the perspective of top relationship expert and marriage counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo on the social media behaviours that should not be ignored in relationships.

impact of social media in relationship by marriage counselor Shivani misri sadhoo

What are the social media red flags in relationships?

Pretending to be single

When a partner behaves as if they’re single on social media—keeping relationship status hidden, avoiding posting photos together, or asking not to be tagged—it raises red flags. While some value privacy, constant avoidance of mentioning the relationship may indicate keeping options open or a lack of commitment. Genuine partners don’t hide relationships; secrecy may suggest dishonesty, embarrassment, or external pressure. Openness and acknowledgement are essential for healthy relationships.

Is your partner spending too much time on social media?

Spending excessive time on social media during dates can detract from romance, signalling that your partner’s focus isn’t on you. It may indicate addiction, where the virtual world overshadows real connections. Social media’s curated facade fosters dissatisfaction and can be an escape from unhappiness. Ignoring moments like sunsets hints at prioritizing screens over shared experiences. Recognizing these signs is crucial; excessive social media use can signal deeper issues affecting relationships and personal well-being.

Posting flirtatious remarks on others’ social media posts

Flirting with others on social media, especially through public comments, signals a lack of commitment and respect in a relationship. This behaviour undermines trust and emotional security, akin to infidelity. Engaging in such actions can lead to feelings of betrayal and hurt. Consistently leaving flirty comments on others’ posts raises doubts about one’s intentions and loyalty. It’s crucial to reflect on whether this behaviour aligns with your expectations for a healthy, monogamous relationship.

Not accepting social media requests

Many a time, refusing to accept a connection request on social media signals reluctance to integrate into each other’s lives. It suggests a lack of transparency and openness. Denying the request may indicate a desire to keep aspects of one’s life hidden, potentially signalling dishonesty or unfaithfulness. By rejecting the connection, the partner may be implying a disregard for the relationship’s importance or the other person’s feelings. Overall, refusal to connect on social media can raise concerns about trust and commitment.

Reluctant in posting your relationship online

Some people choose privacy, but when a partner avoids posting about the relationship on social media while being active otherwise, it raises concerns. The absence of acknowledgement could signal a lack of commitment or reluctance to publicly affirm the relationship. This omission may lead to feelings of exclusion and impact self-esteem negatively. Comparing one’s relationship to others’ flashy posts only emphasizes the authenticity of real-life connections.

Inconsistent behaviour or mismatch between online and offline conduct

When someone’s online persona is drastically different from their offline behaviour, it can raise concerns about authenticity and honesty in a relationship. While it’s common for people to curate their online presence to some extent, a significant inconsistency like this can be a red flag. For instance, imagine if your partner constantly shares posts about loyalty and trust online, but in reality, they frequently lie to you about their whereabouts or interactions with others. This mismatch between their digital facade and real-life actions could erode trust and breed resentment in the relationship over time.

marriage counselor shivani sadhoo talks about a boy friend or girl friend not going to marry you

Signs A Boy Friend or Girl Friend Is Never Going to Marry You

You have been savouring those romantic coffee dates, indulging in long drives, and even sneaking in casual leaves from work just to create special moments with your beloved boyfriend or girlfriend, especially on their birthday. However, when the topic of marriage crosses your mind, there’s a distinct sense that your significant other isn’t quite ready for such a significant commitment or may not be inclined to take that step with you.

Are you curious to find out these tell-tale signs that indicate your significant other might not be ready for the monumental commitment of marriage?

Eminent relationship expert and marriage counselor in Delhi, Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares a few signs in this article.

couples counselor shivani sadhoo talks about signs a boy friend or girl friend not going to marry you

Avoiding Future Plans

If your partner constantly sidesteps discussions about the future, especially on topics like settling down or long-term plans, it could indicate a lack of commitment. A genuine desire for a lifelong connection involves open conversations. If your enthusiasm for living together or dream wedding plans is met with lukewarm responses and swift subject changes, it may signal a deeper reluctance to envision a shared future.

Haven’t Met their Family

Is your partner keeping their family a mystery? A red flag in serious relationships is avoiding family introductions. A future spouse willingly integrates into each other’s families. If your significant other hesitates or delays this step, it signals uncertainty about a lifelong commitment. Avoiding family meetings suggests a lack of pride in your connection. Even if an introduction happens, reluctance may hint at future commitment issues.

Lack of Emotional Connection

In a thriving relationship, trust, loyalty, understanding, love, care, and shared emotions are crucial. If your partner refrains from opening up emotionally, it signals a reluctance to include you in their inner world, hinting at a lack of commitment. True connection involves vulnerability and closeness. When a significant other detached emotionally, it suggests a hesitancy to envision a lasting future together. Building emotional walls may signify a reluctance to see you as a lifelong partner.

Always Making Lame Excuses

Your significant other consistently postpones the idea of marriage, citing various reasons like recent conflicts with their mother or work-related stress. Each time, they claim it’s not the “right time.” Whether it’s financial stability or career achievements, the excuses keep piling up.

If someone truly desires marriage, obstacles wouldn’t hinder their commitment. Continuous justifications reveal a reluctance to take that step. Pay attention to actions, as words alone may not paint an accurate picture of their intentions.

Your Partner Isn’t Serious About the Relationship

In a relationship, actions speak louder than words. Take, for instance, when your partner hesitates to hold hands in public or introduces you with only your name, avoiding any mention of your connection. These subtle gestures may signify a reluctance to commit.

If, after months together, your significant other downplays the seriousness of your relationship, it could be a clear indication that marriage isn’t on their horizon. Such reluctance to embrace the connection publicly may reveal their hesitations about a long-term commitment.

 The Discussion does not go Beyond the Proposal

After a joyous proposal, your partner might evade wedding discussions, showing reluctance to set dates or arrange venues, hinting at a hesitancy to commit. A devoted partner eagerly plans a wedding, involving loved ones, but if your significant other hesitates to confirm a date, reconsiderations about the marriage may be surfacing. Pay attention to the unspoken signals, as actions often speak louder than words in matters of the heart.

Now that you know the subtle signs of a partner’s reluctance to commit, it’s crucial to recognize the importance of open communication, emotional connection, and shared future plans in a lasting relationship. Paying attention to actions over words is key, as these indicators can help you navigate potential commitment issues and make informed decisions about your future together.

never do after being cheated

Things You Should Never Do After Being Cheated On

The discovery of infidelity often triggers a profound emotional upheaval. Betrayal can elicit a range of intense feelings, including anger, sadness, confusion, and even self-doubt. The betrayed partner may find themselves grappling with a rollercoaster of emotions that challenge their sense of self-worth and the very fabric of the relationship. It’s during these tumultuous times that one must approach the path to healing with utmost care and a commitment to preserving self-respect.

What are the things you should never do after being cheated on?

What are the things you should never do after being cheated on?

Leading marriage counselor and relationship expert, Shivani Misri Sadhoo suggests the things you should never do after being cheated on:

Don’t Jump to Conclusions: Discovering infidelity is emotionally charged, and the immediate reaction might be anger, sadness, or a combination of both. However, resist the urge to make impulsive decisions or accusations. Take the time to gather your thoughts, assess the situation, and communicate openly with your partner.

Avoid Retaliatory Cheating: Seeking revenge by engaging in retaliatory infidelity may seem like a way to level the playing field, but it only perpetuates a cycle of hurt and destruction. Instead, focus on understanding the root causes of the infidelity and deciding whether the relationship can be rebuilt.

Don’t Bottle Up Your Emotions: Suppressing emotions can lead to long-term issues such as resentment and anxiety. Allow yourself to feel the pain, betrayal, and sadness. Seek support from friends, family, or a therapist who can provide a safe space for you to express your emotions.

Avoid Public Humiliation: Refrain from publicly shaming your partner on social media or within your social circle. While it’s natural to seek support, airing your grievances in a public forum can have long-lasting consequences and make the healing process more challenging.

Don’t Play the Blame Game: Although infidelity is a breach of trust, it’s essential to recognize that relationships are complex, and blaming one party entirely may oversimplify the situation. Engage in open communication to understand the factors that contributed to the infidelity without assigning sole responsibility.

Avoid Rushing into Decisions: The aftermath of infidelity is not the ideal time to make major life decisions, such as ending the relationship or filing for divorce. Give yourself the necessary time to process emotions and make decisions with a clear and rational mindset.

Don’t Ignore Self-Care: Neglecting self-care during this challenging time can lead to physical and mental health issues. Prioritize your well-being by maintaining a healthy lifestyle, seeking professional help if needed, and engaging in activities that bring you joy and relaxation.

Avoid Excessive Monitoring: While rebuilding trust is essential, constantly monitoring your partner’s every move can hinder the healing process. Striking a balance between transparency and autonomy is crucial for rebuilding trust in a relationship.

Don’t Rush into a New Relationship: Rebound relationships may offer temporary distraction but rarely provide a solid foundation for emotional healing. Take the time to focus on personal growth and healing before entering into a new relationship.

Avoid Making Permanent Decisions in a Temporary State: Infidelity creates a tumultuous emotional state, and making permanent decisions during such turmoil may lead to regrets later on. Give yourself the time and space needed to make decisions that align with your long-term goals and values.

The aftermath of infidelity is undoubtedly challenging, but navigating it with a level head, self-respect, and a commitment to personal growth can lead to healing and, in some cases, the rebuilding of trust in the relationship. Remember, everyone’s journey is unique, and seeking professional guidance can be a valuable resource in the process of recovery.