Marriage Counsellor and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

Did you think that only unmarried couples embark on romantic dates? Think again. As relationships mature, passion may dwindle. Whether you’ve been wed for years or just tied the knot, it is essential for married couples to continue nurturing their romantic connection. From unconventional outings to cozy home evenings, you can make these moments special for each other.

What could be some of the romantic night ideas?

Marriage counsellor, Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares innovative date night ideas to rejuvenate passion and keep the flame alive in long-term relationships.

1. Take a Simple Walk

Sometimes, amidst life’s complexities, a simple walk becomes a serene voyage for married couples. Engaging in unhurried strolls, hand in hand, under the moonlit sky fosters an intimate atmosphere. The unhurried pace allows for genuine conversations, rekindling the flame of connection and developing a renewed sense of shared companionship.

2. Plan A Romantic Movie Night

Sometimes, the simplest joys rekindle the flames of romance. Sharing a movie night at home, carefully curating a watchlist, and preparing snacks together not only offer comfort but also a chance to reminisce. Under the stars or in a cozy home cinema, this shared experience becomes a nostalgic journey, evoking emotions from the early days, building connections, and igniting the spark of love anew.

3. Art can create magic in your relationship

Engaging in artistic activities as a couple fosters a unique bond, rekindling romance through shared creativity. Whether attending a painting class or trying DIY projects at home, the collaborative process creates special memories.

Embracing imperfections, like sketching a partner in a funny costume, becomes a testament to the love invested. Art serves as a medium for connection, rekindling the spark and weaving a tapestry of shared experiences in marriage.

4. Add Melody to your relationship

Ever wondered how a simple Karaoke night could reignite the spark in your marriage? Singing together isn’t just about hitting the right notes; it’s a shared journey of laughter, vulnerability, and rediscovery. Embrace the imperfect melodies, and you’ll find that these harmonious moments foster a deeper connection, rekindling the romance that initially brought you two together.

5. Playing games

Did you know that playing games can spice up your marriage? Embracing your inner child through board games not only adds fun but also sparks joy and connection. It’s like a playful escape from reality, creating moments that rekindle the romance. So, why not ditch the mundane, pick a favorite game, and let the laughter and competition weave a new chapter of togetherness in your love story?

6. Let’s Cook Together

Whisking up a homemade feast together, from sizzling steaks to decadent desserts, turns your kitchen into a love-filled haven. As you chop, stir, and savor, the aroma of shared efforts creates a bond that goes beyond the dining table. Cooking as a couple not only ignites the stove but also sparks the flames of romance, reminding you both of the sweet symphony that first drew you close.

7. Read together

Sharing the joy of reading can reignite the spark in a marriage by creating intimate moments. As you both immerse yourselves in love sonnets or captivating stories, the shared experience builds a unique connection.

The act of reading together promotes intimacy, evoking emotions that revive the romantic essence. It’s a simple, yet profound, way to rediscover the enchantment that initially brought you together, making it a cherished date night activity.

From simple walks encouraging genuine conversations to artistic activities, movie nights, music, games, cooking, and reading together—each suggestion provides a unique avenue for couples to rekindle the flame, strengthening the bond of love.

Marriages are often celebrated as the union of two souls destined for eternal happiness. However, the reality is that not all marriages are made in heaven. The question of whether to endure an unhappy marriage “for the kids” is a complex dilemma.

When faced with the prospect of divorce, the decision becomes particularly challenging when children are involved. Should one persist in a toxic and joyless marriage for the sake of the children, or should they contemplate ending it?

Why continuing with an unhappy marriage is harmful for your children?

Leading marriage counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo explains the following factors in the article further. These are:

1. Psychological Stress

An unhappy marriage is often fraught with tension, resentment, and conflict. Children are highly perceptive and can sense this negative atmosphere. Constant exposure to such stress can lead to emotional and psychological distress in children, affecting their overall well-being and development.

Kids are sensitive to their parents’ feelings, and when parents are unhappy, children may feel it’s their fault or experience anxiety, depression, or low self-esteem. These emotional scars can last a long time.

2. Builds Negative Perception

Children learn about relationships primarily through observing their parents’ interactions. In the context of an unhappy marriage, prolonged exposure can normalize dysfunctional dynamics for them. Consequently, their understanding of a healthy partnership becomes skewed, potentially leading to troubled future relationships.

An environment marked by emotional distance and hostility between parents hampers the development of vital emotional skills and communication patterns in children. Such situations breed unresolved conflicts and negatively impact a child’s perception of acceptable relationship norms, perpetuating cycles of unhappiness in their own future partnerships.

3. Delayed Divorce Does More Harm than Good

Remaining in an unhappy marriage until your children become independent may seem like a way to shield them from the upheaval of divorce or separation. However, this approach doesn’t always reduce their stress.

If your children have never experienced extended periods away from you, leaving home, particularly when they move to a new city for further education, can be highly distressing. The added burden of a divorce, coupled with new responsibilities, could potentially disrupt their studies and transition into adulthood.

4. Self-Sacrifice Can Be Dissatisfying

Sacrificing your own happiness for the sake of your kids may seem noble, but it can have negative consequences. Unhappy parents may struggle to provide a stable and nurturing environment. True parental sacrifice means making choices that benefit both parents and children.

You don’t have to be a martyr; divorce can be a self-improvement decision if you still attend to your children’s needs. Happier people are better at everything, including being better parents, which is a great gift for your kids and yourself.

5. Causes Relationship Breakdowns

Prolonged unhappiness within a marriage can gradually foster resentment and bitterness, which may ultimately seep into various aspects of one’s life, affecting relationships with friends and family. Children raised in such an environment may lack positive examples of loving relationships.

Stress and tension can inadvertently strain the parent-child relationship, causing resentment and strained connections, leaving children questioning the authenticity of their upbringing.

6. Disrupts Communication

An unsatisfactory marriage can lead to a communication breakdown between parents, complicating the establishment of fair child arrangements. Resolving issues as they arise is crucial for facilitating decisions in the children’s best interests. Redirecting efforts from a troubled marriage toward fostering a positive co-parenting relationship is essential.

In unhappy marriages, couples often struggle with effective communication, which can negatively influence their children’s ability to express feelings and thoughts, potentially impacting their future relationships and friendships. Teaching kids healthy communication and conflict resolution within a family setting is vital for enhancing their future relationships.

What did we learn?

Staying in an unhappy marriage can harm children by subjecting them to psychological stress, distorting their perception of healthy relationships, and potentially causing long-term emotional scars. Delaying divorce may not always protect them, and self-sacrifice may lead to an unsatisfactory family environment. Effective communication and prioritizing well-being can be key to mitigating these negative effects on children.

Marriages as they say are made in heaven. While it is true that nothing lasts forever, yet with the right mindset, communication, and commitment, marriages can endure and grow stronger over time. So, how do we find out if your marriage is going to last forever? India’s leading marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo reveals some of the signs to look for.

What are the signs that can indicate a marriage will last long?

Though signs may vary, but Shivani Sadhoo shares some of the most subtle signs that may reveal you will have a long-lasting marriage. Those are:

1. Respect Each Other

One of the key signs of an everlasting marriage is the presence of mutual respect between partners. Respect goes beyond mere politeness; it involves valuing each other’s opinions, feelings, and boundaries. In an everlasting marriage, partners appreciate and honor one another, even during times of disagreement. This mutual respect forms a solid foundation, allowing the relationship to thrive and endure.

2. You have time for each other

When couples have time for each other, they get the chance to connect, communicate, and share their thoughts and feelings. This helps to build a strong foundation of trust and empathy, which is essential for any successful marriage.

3. Be Friends First

Friendship plays a crucial role in sustaining long-lasting marriages. Be pals, and confidantes, and support each other like buddies do. Value this friendship—cherish it! Laugh together, share secrets, and always listen. Trust, understanding, and love grow stronger when rooted in a deep, genuine friendship.

4. Emotional intimacy

Deep emotional connection in marriage, built on trust, vulnerability, and understanding, creates lasting love. Couples openly share fears, joys, and insecurities, forging an unbreakable bond that endures challenges and time. A journey where love is not just spoken but felt deeply, a timeless connection that weathers all storms.

5. Inspire and Motivate Each Other

Positive psychology says that when you focus on the good stuff in each other, it strengthens the relationship. You both feel happier, more connected, and motivated to keep the love alive. So, inspire each other, cheer each other on, and your marriage can go the distance!

6. Always There For Each Other

Long-lasting marriages happen when both partners truly care for and support each other. It’s like having each other’s backs through thick and thin. You become like peanut butter and jelly, just meant to stick together. There’s trust, laughter, and understanding, even when things get tough. It’s like being a team, always cheering each other on and helping out when needed.

7. Sense of Humour

Humor in marriage diffuses conflicts, transforming potential fights into playful moments. Couples who laugh together strengthen their bond, facing challenges with resilience and joy, fostering openness and an enjoyable relationship.

8. Money Matters

When both partners are on the same page about money, make joint decisions, and stick to a budget, it reduces stress and fights about bills. So, in a nutshell, when you both handle your finances wisely, your marriage is more likely to go the distance, like a winning team in the game of love.

9. Listen carefully

When you truly hear your partner out, it shows you care, respect, and understand them. You’re not just waiting for your turn to talk, but actually tuning in to what they’re saying. This builds trust and a deeper connection as it helps you nip problems in the bud before they become big issues.

Final Thoughts

A lasting marriage hinges on mutual respect, genuine friendship, emotional intimacy, shared laughter, and aligned values, including effective communication and financial harmony. Nurturing each other’s growth, being supportive allies, and cherishing the bond with love and understanding are essential ingredients for an enduring marital journey.