Marriage Counsellor and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

You’ve raised kids, built careers, and weathered life’s highs and lows together. But somewhere in the comfort of routine and responsibility, romance took a backseat. If you’re in your 40s or 50s and feel like your marriage has grown dull, you’re not alone. The good news? Boredom isn’t the end—it’s often the beginning of a new phase of connection, if you’re willing to revive it.

Why Marriages Often Turn Boring in the 40s & 50s?

Shivani Misri Sadhoo, a leading couples therapist and one of the best marriage counsellors in Delhi, shares why marriage often turns boring in the 40s and 50s. Here are some reasons

Routine Replaces Romance – Life in midlife often becomes a loop: work, bills, errands, and family duties. Over time, spontaneity tends to fade, and interactions become more functional than emotional.

Empty Nest & Identity Shifts – When children leave home, couples may realise they’ve lost touch with each other as individuals, not just as parents. There’s often a sense of emotional distance that grows slowly and quietly.

Physical and Emotional Changes – Hormonal changes, health issues, and shifting priorities can impact intimacy and emotional availability. This affects how connected couples feel, physically and mentally.

Unresolved Conflicts and Resentments – Years of small misunderstandings or unmet needs may build a wall of emotional fatigue. The love is there, but it may be buried under years of silence or compromise.

Lack of Novelty – Doing the same things with the same person in the same way can lead to emotional stagnation. When couples stop learning or growing together, boredom can sneak in.

How to rekindle love and rejuvenate your marriage in your 40s & 50s?

Talk Again—But Really Talk: Rebuild Emotional Intimacy by Having Deeper Conversations. Avoid logistics or problem-solving. Ask each other:

• What dreams do you still want to pursue?
• What’s something you’ve never told me?

A few heartfelt talks can bring you emotionally closer than months of routine.

Create New Shared Experiences – Break monotony by doing something new together:

• Travel to places you’ve never been
• Join a class or hobby group
• Take up a joint fitness challenge

Novelty stimulates dopamine, the same feel-good hormone from your early dating days.

Reignite Physical Intimacy – Touch matters. Start with simple gestures—holding hands, a hug that lasts a few seconds longer, or a kiss before sleep. Physical closeness often leads to emotional warmth.

Don’t hesitate to talk about physical needs. Midlife sex may change, but it can also become more emotionally satisfying when you’re in sync.

Schedule Quality Time Without Distractions – Create a weekly “us time.” No phones, no TV, no errands. Whether it’s coffee on the balcony, an evening walk, or a weekend breakfast date—showing up regularly builds emotional presence.

Seek Counselling or a Relationship Coach – Sometimes, an external guide helps couples see blind spots or rekindle emotional closeness. Don’t wait until there’s a crisis—therapy in midlife can act as a relationship reset button.

Celebrate Small Moments

Rekindling love doesn’t need grand gestures. Compliment each other, laugh over old memories, or cook a meal together. It’s the small, repeated acts of care that turn routine into romance.

A boring marriage doesn’t mean a broken one. The 40s and 50s are a golden opportunity to deepen your connection—with the wisdom, maturity, and resilience you’ve both gained. Love evolves, and so can you. With intention and openness, you can turn a predictable routine into a renewed partnership full of joy, intimacy, and shared growth.

In a world where relationship labels are becoming more fluid, it’s easy to feel confused about the nature of your bond with someone. You may feel deeply connected to a person — emotionally safe, truly understood — yet there’s no romantic or sexual involvement. Is it just friendship, or something more meaningful, yet still non-romantic? That’s where the concept of a platonic relationship comes in. Understanding this can help you navigate your feelings and define your relationship better, as explained by eminent relationship and marriage counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo here.

What is a Platonic Relationship?

A platonic relationship is an emotionally close connection between two people that is not based on physical or romantic attraction. The term comes from the ideas of the Greek philosopher Plato, who believed that the highest form of love transcends physical desire and is rooted in mutual respect, intellectual connection, and deep emotional bonding.

This kind of relationship can exist between any two people, regardless of gender or orientation, and is defined by care, trust, and emotional intimacy without the complexities of romance or sexual tension.

Platonic Relationship vs. Friendship: What’s the Difference?

At first glance, platonic relationships and friendships may seem similar. Both involve companionship, trust, and shared moments. However, platonic bonds tend to carry more emotional weight and consistency than regular friendships.

In a typical friendship, people may connect based on shared activities, environments, or interests. These connections can be casual, and while trust exists, the emotional depth may not always run very deep. Friendships can fade over time as circumstances change.

A platonic relationship, however, tends to hold stronger emotional significance. You may find yourself turning to that person for life advice, sharing your innermost thoughts, or relying on them during difficult times. There’s often a level of priority given to this bond, even if it’s never romantic. It’s like having a life partner — just without the romance.

How to Identify if It’s Platonic or Just Friendship?

If you’re unsure which category your relationship falls into, consider the emotional dynamics. Do you feel emotionally safe and fully yourself around this person? Are they the first one you think of when you’re going through something important, good or bad? Do you value their presence in your life regardless of circumstances, and does the bond remain strong even without constant communication?

Also, notice if there’s mutual clarity. Platonic relationships often involve a silent understanding that the connection is deep and meaningful, but not romantic. There’s no hidden agenda, no mixed signals, and no pressure to turn it into something else.

Can Platonic Relationships Evolve Into Romance?

They can, but not always. Sometimes emotional closeness can lay the foundation for romantic feelings, especially if both people begin to see each other in a new light. However, many platonic relationships remain beautifully non-romantic throughout life, offering emotional nourishment without any complications.

If feelings do change on either side, honest communication becomes key. Ignoring shifting emotions can lead to confusion, distance, or even the end of the bond.

Platonic relationships are often underrated, yet they can be some of the most fulfilling connections in life. If you’re lucky enough to have someone who supports you emotionally, respects your boundaries, and remains consistently present, without any romantic strings, then you’re experiencing the rare beauty of platonic love. Understanding and honouring this kind of bond can enrich your emotional well-being and add a layer of stability and depth to your life that few relationships can offer.