Marriage Counsellor and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

Summary

• Genuine interest often shows through consistent attention and effort.
• Small actions, body language, and curiosity can reveal attraction.
• Clear communication is often the best way to remove doubt.

Written by Shivani Misri Sadhoo | 17+ Years Experience Certified EFT, CBT, DBT Therapist | Gottman Recommended Indian Marriage Counsellor | Clinical Psychologist at IBS Hospital

Having a crush can be exciting, confusing, and sometimes emotionally overwhelming. One moment, their smile feels meaningful, and the next, you wonder if you are reading too much into things. Attraction often shows up in subtle ways, but understanding the difference between friendliness and genuine romantic interest can save you from mixed signals and unnecessary overthinking. Learning to notice the right signs can help you approach dating with more confidence and clarity, says Shivani Misri Sadhoo, who is an experienced couples therapist in Delhi.

Are They Just Being Nice… or Do They Actually Like You?

This is one of the biggest questions people ask when they develop feelings for someone. While no single sign guarantees attraction, consistent behaviour, emotional attention, and genuine effort often reveal much more than words.

“Sometimes attraction is not hidden in grand gestures or perfectly chosen words—it reveals itself in the little things. In the extra seconds of eye contact, the unexpected messages, the way someone remembers details you thought were forgotten, or how they make time even on their busiest days. Real interest often speaks quietly, but when someone truly likes you, their consistency, curiosity, and effort usually say what their words may not.” Shivani Misr Sadhoo, a certified Gottman therapist and one of the experienced marriage counsellors in Delhi and across India

They Find Reasons to Start Conversations

When someone likes you, they usually look for opportunities to talk, whether through messages, casual chats, social media reactions, or random check-ins. If your crush often initiates conversations without a clear reason, it may be a sign they enjoy your presence.

They Remember Small Details About You

People tend to remember things that matter to them. If your crush remembers your favourite food, an important event, your hobbies, or something you casually mentioned days ago, it often reflects genuine interest and emotional attention.

Their Body Language Changes Around You

Eye contact, smiling more often, leaning in while talking, fixing their appearance, or appearing slightly nervous can all be subtle signs of attraction. Body language often communicates interest before words do.

They Make Time for You

No matter how busy someone is, people usually make time for those they truly care about. If your crush consistently replies, checks on you, or creates chances to spend time together, their effort may be saying more than their words.

They Tease You or Flirt Naturally

Light teasing, playful jokes, inside conversations, and a comfortable sense of humor often indicate emotional comfort and attraction. Flirting does not always look dramatic—sometimes it feels natural, warm, and effortless.

They Show Curiosity About Your Life

Someone who likes you often wants to know more about your day, goals, interests, relationships, and future plans. Emotional curiosity usually reflects a desire to build a deeper connection.

They Notice When Something Feels Different

If they ask whether you are okay, notice your mood changes, or check in when you seem quiet, it may indicate emotional investment beyond casual friendship.

When Is It Time to Stop Guessing?

Sometimes attraction becomes clearer through honest communication rather than endless analysis. If the connection feels genuine, mutual, and emotionally comfortable, expressing interest respectfully may bring the clarity you need.

Real attraction is rarely about one dramatic sign. More often, it shows up through consistency, attention, emotional effort, and the way someone makes you feel when you are around them.

As the world of relationships continues to evolve, a new social-driven trend has emerged at the forefront of modern dating culture: “friendfluence.” This term — a blend of friend and influence — describes the growing impact that friends have on an individual’s romantic choices, behaviours, and dating decisions. In 2026, friendfluence is being recognised as one of the most powerful forces shaping how people connect, date, and build relationships, explains the leading couples therapist and relationship counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo.

At its heart, friendfluence reflects how deeply social circles affect dating life. Friends are no longer just companions or advisors — they increasingly help define what people find attractive, who they choose to date, and how they navigate relationships. This trend highlights a shift away from purely individual decision-making toward more socially informed relational choices.

How Friendfluence Works in Modern Dating?

Friendfluence isn’t simply about listening to a friend’s approval or disapproval of a potential partner. Rather, it’s a nuanced dynamic that can take many forms, says Shivani Misri Sadhoo, an experienced marriage and relationship counsellor in Delhi.

• Validation and Feedback: Before agreeing to a date or sharing a photo on a dating app, many people now seek input from close friends. A thumbs-up from the group can boost confidence, while a collective “no” can halt contact altogether.

• Shared Social Norms: Friend groups often help establish what is seen as desirable or acceptable in potential partners — values, lifestyle choices, and even interests. This creates a subtle cultural script that shapes personal preferences.

• Collective Experiences: Friends increasingly play active roles in social setups that lead to dating opportunities — group outings, double dates, social events, festivals, and meetups where introductions happen naturally.

• Peer-Driven Boundaries: Conversations with friends about red flags, emotional well-being, and healthy boundaries inform how people approach commitment, communication, and expectations in relationships.

In essence, friendfluence transforms friends from passive observers to active contributors in the modern dating environment.

Why is Friendship Emerging Now?

Several cultural and social shifts have accelerated the rise of friendfluence:

• Greater Reliance on Social Networks: With digital communication and social apps shaping everyday interaction, peer influence is stronger — and more immediate — than ever before.

• Shared Perspectives on Relationships: Younger generations tend to discuss dating openly within their social circles, normalising group input into decisions that were once private.

• The Complexity of Modern Dating: With a vast number of choices available through dating platforms, people often turn to friends for clarity, reassurance, or grounding — especially when signals are ambiguous or overwhelming.

• Rise of Group-Centred Activities: Social events, group adventures, and friend-mediated introductions increasingly replace traditional one-on-one blind dating or bar encounters.

Positive and Challenging Sides of Friendfluence

Like any social phenomenon, friendfluence has both potential benefits and downsides.

Benefits:

• Increased Support: Friends can help identify unhealthy patterns or red flags that individuals might overlook.
• Shared Wisdom: Collective experiences provide a broader perspective and emotional guidance.
• Enhanced Confidence: Supportive feedback can make dating less stressful and more secure.

Challenges:

• Overdependence: Relying too heavily on friends for dating decisions may limit personal autonomy.
• Group Bias: Friends may project their own preferences or fears into your decisions, sometimes unfairly.
• Conflict: Disagreements about choices can lead to tension within the social group.

How to Navigate Friendfluence Effectively?

To make the most of friend influence — without surrendering personal agency — consider the following:

• Listen but Reflect: Take advice seriously, but make decisions based on your own values.
• Set Boundaries: Clarify with friends how much input you want in your dating life.
• Seek Diverse Perspectives: A variety of viewpoints can offer clarity without creating pressure.
• Balance Social and Personal Insight: Combine your own feelings with thoughtful feedback.

In 2026, friendfluence is reshaping the way many people think about love, connection, and dating choices. Rather than isolating the individual decision-maker, the trend embraces the idea that relationships are part of a larger social ecosystem — and that friends, as trusted collaborators, play an influential role in how romantic journeys unfold.

Marriage is a journey full of growth, discovery, and sometimes challenges that test the bond between two people. While every relationship is unique, most marriages tend to go through recognisable stages. Understanding these phases can help couples navigate difficulties, strengthen their connection, and set realistic expectations, says Shivani Misri Sadhoo, a leading relationship expert and one of the top marriage counsellors in Delhi and India.

Questions You Might Ask

1. Why do couples often face the most difficulties in the early years of marriage?

Many challenges emerge as couples move beyond the initial excitement of marriage into the realities of everyday life. Differences in habits, communication styles, and expectations can surface, often leading to conflict if not addressed consciously.

2. Can a marriage survive Stage 3, the Power Struggle?

Yes. Stage 3 can feel intense, but with open communication, mutual understanding, and a willingness to grow, couples can emerge stronger. It’s less about avoiding conflict and more about learning to navigate it together.

6 Stages of Marriage, as explained by couples therapist Shivani Sadhoo

Stage 1: The Honeymoon Phase

This is the period of excitement and idealisation. Everything feels new and thrilling, and couples often overlook imperfections as they focus on love and connection.

Stage 2: Reality Sets In

As the initial excitement fades, differences between partners become more apparent. Habits, routines, and even quirks that were previously endearing can now feel challenging.

Stage 3: The Power Struggle

Often called the toughest stage, this is when conflicts and disagreements become more frequent. Couples question whether the marriage will last and confront unresolved personal or relational issues. The emotional intensity can feel overwhelming, but it’s also a stage that provides the opportunity to build resilience and a deeper understanding if navigated consciously.

Stage 4: Rebuilding and Acceptance

After working through conflicts, couples start to regain trust and understanding. Acceptance of each other’s differences and the ability to compromise strengthen the foundation of the relationship.

Stage 5: Deep Connection

By this stage, couples often feel a profound emotional and spiritual bond. They communicate more effectively, support each other’s growth, and share a sense of partnership that goes beyond surface-level romance.

Stage 6: Legacy and Purpose

Here, couples focus on building something bigger than themselves, whether it’s family, community, or shared goals. There’s a sense of fulfilment in contributing together and leaving a lasting impact.

Identifying Your Stage

Recognising which phase your marriage is in can help you manage expectations, enhance communication, and approach challenges more intentionally. If you find yourself in Stage 3, remember that feeling tested doesn’t mean failure—it’s an opportunity for growth.

Strategies to navigate Stage 3 include:

• Seeking couples therapy or professional guidance
• Reconnecting emotionally and fostering intimacy
• Prioritising personal growth alongside relational growth
• Learning constructive conflict resolution techniques

Marriage isn’t a final destination but an ongoing journey. Each stage has its purpose, and even the toughest periods, like Stage 3, can strengthen the bond between partners when approached with patience and commitment.

Relationships are rarely perfect. Every couple experiences phases of closeness and distance, highs and lows. Yet, it’s often the little things—a warm hug, holding hands, or a gentle touch on the shoulder—that strengthen emotional bonds. Human touch plays a far more powerful role than many realize, promoting happiness, trust, and emotional security. Simple gestures like caresses, back rubs, or embraces release oxytocin, reducing stress and deepening connections.

When touch is absent for too long, a condition known as touch starvation can develop, creating feelings of isolation and distress. Recognizing its signs and learning ways to reconnect physically and emotionally is essential for maintaining a healthy relationship, says Shivani Misri Sadhoo, who is one of India’s top couples and marriage counselors.

Understanding Touch Starvation

Touch starvation, sometimes called “skin hunger,” occurs when the body goes without nurturing physical contact. The skin’s nerves and pressure receptors respond to touch, triggering the release of “feel-good” chemicals like oxytocin. Without it, the nervous system can become restless, increasing stress and loneliness. Over time, prolonged absence of touch can impact both emotional and psychological well-being.

Why Does Physical Touch Matter?

Humans are wired for connection. From birth, gentle touch communicates safety, love, and security. Touch continues to play a vital role throughout life, offering multiple benefits:

• Reduces Stress: Touch lowers cortisol levels, calms the nervous system, and boosts mood-regulating chemicals like dopamine and serotonin.

• Strengthens Emotional Bonds: Hugs and gentle touches release oxytocin, enhancing trust, intimacy, and positive feelings toward others.

• Promotes Physical Health: Regular nurturing touch can improve immunity and lower blood pressure.

• Supports Mental Health: Touch has been shown to ease sadness, reduce anxiety, and lift overall mood.

Even small gestures—such as holding hands, a pat on the back, or a gentle embrace—can make a profound difference.

Signs You May Be Touch-Starved

Feeling disconnected from your partner or loved ones may indicate touch starvation. Common signs include:

• Persistent Loneliness: You may feel isolated even when surrounded by loved ones if physical affection is missing.

• Mood Imbalances: Lack of touch can reduce oxytocin levels, leading to irritability, anxiety, or low mood.

• Heightened Sensitivity: When touch is scarce, even brief physical contact can feel deeply comforting and emotionally significant.

Ways to Overcome Touch Starvation

• Self-Touch and Self-Care – Self-touch, like hugging yourself or placing a hand over your heart, can provide comfort and ease stress. Practicing mindful self-care, extending compassion inward, and treating yourself with kindness are essential parts of addressing touch starvation.

• Communicate with Loved Ones – Openly expressing your need for physical affection with your partner, family, or friends can help bridge the gap. Virtual interactions, such as video calls or heartfelt conversations, can also provide emotional nourishment when in-person contact isn’t possible.

• Alternative Forms of Touch – Engaging in activities that provide tactile stimulation, such as pet therapy, massage, weighted blankets, or using stress-relief objects, can help satisfy the body’s need for touch.

• Appreciate Small Gestures – Daily, simple acts—like sitting close, sharing a gentle touch, or exchanging a meaningful glance—can strengthen intimacy and connection. Even subtle gestures contribute to emotional bonding.

• Reconnect Through Memory – Recalling past moments of affection can reinforce emotional closeness and help the mind feel the warmth of nurturing touch.

Touch is more than physical contact; it is essential emotional nourishment. When absent, it can leave individuals feeling lonely, anxious, and disconnected. However, through self-care, communication, mindfulness, and small acts of connection, touch starvation can be addressed. Rebuilding meaningful physical and emotional closeness helps restore trust, love, and well-being in relationships.

In today’s hyper-connected digital age, mobile phones have become personal vaults of communication, memories, and daily routines. Within relationships, this can create tension—especially when one partner feels tempted to check the other’s phone. From a couples therapy standpoint, this behaviour is not just about curiosity or suspicion—it often reflects deeper issues such as insecurity, boundary confusion, or a lack of emotional trust. Understanding the dynamics behind this urge is crucial for nurturing healthy, respectful relationships.

Is it bad to check your partner’s phone or not?

Shivani Misri Sadhoo, leading relationship expert and one of the best marriage counsellors in India, shares her views on the topic.

Trust Is the Cornerstone of Intimacy

Relationship therapists consistently highlight that trust forms the foundation of emotional safety between partners. When one partner checks the other’s phone without consent, it may signal a breakdown of that trust. Such actions are less about finding concrete evidence and more about addressing emotional uncertainty or fear of betrayal. Without rebuilding trust through open dialogue, phone-checking can erode the sense of security in the relationship.

Privacy Does Not Equal Deception

Therapeutic models of healthy relationships recognise the importance of individual boundaries, even within close emotional bonds. Each partner is entitled to a sense of personal space—digital or otherwise. Privacy in this context is not synonymous with secrecy; rather, it is a sign of respect for individuality. When partners respect each other’s boundaries, it fosters mutual confidence and emotional maturity.

The Behavior Often Escalates Conflict

Research and clinical observations show that covertly accessing a partner’s phone can create more harm than resolution. Misinterpretations of messages, lack of context, or unexpressed emotions often lead to defensiveness, accusations, and emotional withdrawal. Over time, repeated violations of privacy can create a pattern of distrust, making conflict resolution more difficult and damaging relational stability.

Underlying Issues Must Be Addressed, Not Avoided

Phone-checking is rarely the core problem—it is typically a symptom of deeper relational concerns such as past infidelity, emotional disconnect, or fear of abandonment. Therapy focuses on identifying these root causes and facilitating honest communication. Without addressing these underlying issues, the urge to monitor a partner’s digital behaviour may persist, perpetuating a cycle of mistrust and anxiety.

Open Communication Is the Healthier Alternative

Rather than resorting to surveillance, couples are encouraged to engage in transparent, non-confrontational conversations about their concerns. When both partners feel heard and understood, the need for secretive behaviour diminishes. Establishing shared boundaries, clarifying expectations around digital privacy, and rebuilding emotional trust are all essential steps supported by relationship therapy frameworks.

Checking a partner’s phone without consent is rarely a sign of a healthy relationship. While the impulse may stem from genuine fear or hurt, the act itself often causes greater harm. From a therapeutic perspective, the path to stronger relationships lies not in silent monitoring but in open-hearted communication, emotional safety, and mutual respect for boundaries.