Marriage Counsellor and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

Did you know that it is perfectly normal to have feelings for another person even while you are married? These brief infatuations with another person are part of human nature, rooted in our brain chemistry. However, these feelings do not reflect anything about your marriage, your spouse, or the person you’re having a crush on.

While such feelings can add thrill and excitement to your life, they might also bring feelings of guilt and fear. Do not worry. Here are certain things that are being explained in this blog.

What do you need to do when you are married, yet are attracted to someone else?

Eminent couples therapist and marriage counsellor in Delhi, Shivani Misri Sadhoo is here to tell you what you can do when you are married but have a crush on someone else.

Accept your Feelings – Perhaps the first and foremost step in getting over your crush while married is to acknowledge and accept your feelings. Recognizing that crushes are a natural part of the human experience and do not signify a lack of love for your spouse or a failing marriage is crucial.

By admitting your feelings to yourself, you can take active measures to manage them, preventing them from leading to a potential affair. This self-awareness empowers you to gain control over your emotions, rather than allowing them to dictate your actions, ultimately helping you to move past the crush.

Reflect and Reconnect – When you’re married and having a crush on someone else, reflecting on your marriage is crucial. It helps you understand the potential consequences of acting on those feelings. Assessing what you stand to lose reminds you of the value of your relationship and the life you’ve built together.

Additionally, it prompts you to consider if the person you’re attracted to is truly worth jeopardizing your marriage. Furthermore, reflection may uncover underlying issues within your relationship that need attention. This introspection can lead to open communication with your spouse, strengthening your bond and addressing any areas for improvement.

Stay Away from Your Crush – Any kind of temptation is hard to resist, especially when it involves someone outside of your marriage. When you have a crush on someone, the best course of action is to create distance. While complete avoidance may be impossible, limiting contact is crucial. Setting clear boundaries and sticking to them prevents the crush from escalating.

Reducing interactions gradually diminishes the intensity of feelings over time, safeguarding the sanctity of your marriage. By prioritizing distance, you prioritize your commitment to your spouse and ensure the crush doesn’t jeopardize your relationship.

Set Clear Boundaries – Familiarity can intensify feelings and blur boundaries, potentially jeopardizing a marriage. It’s important to establish clear boundaries in such cases. By maintaining distance and limiting interactions with the crush, you prevent the escalation of emotions. Sending mixed signals only fuels confusion and potential misunderstandings, complicating matters further.

The sooner you recognize that managing a crush is solely your responsibility, the better it will be for you to avoid such behaviours that could harm your relationship. Communicating openly with your partner about boundaries reinforces trust and commitment. Remember, prioritizing your marriage means actively safeguarding against the allure of a crush and steering clear of actions that may compromise the relationship’s integrity.

Honest Communication – We all know that communication is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship. When you have a crush on someone else while you are married, it is quite natural to feel guilty or embarrassed about these feelings, but keeping them secret only intensifies the struggle. By openly discussing your emotions with your spouse, you’re acknowledging their importance and seeking understanding.

This transparency not only strengthens trust but also cultivates a deeper connection. While the conversation may feel awkward, it’s an opportunity to strengthen the bond between you and your partner. By confiding in them, you’re not only sharing your struggles but also inviting their support and perspective. This honesty can breathe new life into your relationship, allowing both of you to overcome challenges together. Ultimately, open communication lays the foundation for surmounting obstacles and reaffirming your commitment to each other.

It is evident from this article that it would be wise to acknowledge and accept your feelings, reflect on your marriage, maintain distance from your crush, set clear boundaries, and communicate openly with your spouse. These steps strengthen bonds and safeguard relationships.

Love, they say, knows no bounds. But what happens when distance creeps in and love is put to the test? Long-distance relationships are a modern-day testament to the strength of love in the face of physical separation. Even in the most loving relationships, infidelity can shatter trust.

Finding out that your long-distance partner is unfaithful is heartbreaking, tearing apart the strong connection you share. So, how do you find out if your long-distance partner is being unfaithful? Delhi’s leading relationship and marriage counselor, Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares a few warning signs in this article.

What are some of the terrible signs that show your long-distance is being unfaithful?

Couples therapist Shivani Sadhoo, says, you may identify via the following things:

Inconsistent Communication

When your long-distance partner begins to dodge regular communication, it could indicate something amiss. While occasional busy spells are understandable, consistent avoidance raises concerns. A shift from frequent calls and intentional planning of dates to fewer interactions or vague excuses hints at potential infidelity. In successful long-distance relationships, consistent communication is vital, and deviations from this norm should prompt investigation into underlying issues or potential unfaithfulness.

Gets angry often

When your partner starts getting easily irritated or annoyed, especially over small things, it could be a sign that something’s up. In a long-distance relationship, it’s important to stay connected and understanding. But if your partner suddenly seems short-tempered, it might mean they’re not happy in the relationship.

It’s like they’ve lost their patience with you, which isn’t normal if they used to be sweet and patient before. This change in behavior could mean they’re emotionally checked out or even looking for a way out. And if they’re not feeling connected to you anymore, they might be turning to someone else for that emotional support. So, when they start acting differently, it’s worth paying attention to what’s really going on.

Frequent Technical Glitches

If your long-distance partner keeps encountering technical issues whenever you try to connect with them, it could be a sign that something isn’t right. Think about it: every time you’re excited to talk, their phone mysteriously runs out of battery, or their internet suddenly becomes unreliable. It’s like they’re always finding an excuse to avoid having meaningful conversations with you. You might notice a pattern where they blame their device for problems like a faulty camera or microphone, making it difficult for you to video or voice call them.

And when you question them about it, they might even claim their account was hacked or is behaving strangely, adding another layer of suspicion. But what if these “accidental” tech issues happen all the time? It starts to feel less like bad luck and more like a deliberate attempt to avoid you. It’s painful to consider, but maybe these constant technical glitches are covering up something deeper – like your partner being unfaithful.

Always Busy

Earlier, your partner used to make time for you effortlessly, adjusting their schedule just to chat with you freely. But now, it feels like they’re always busy, never having a moment for you. It might seem like you’re constantly trying to connect, but they always seem to have something more important going on. When one partner becomes consistently too occupied for quality time together, it can trigger doubts about fidelity in a long-distance relationship.

Contradictory Explanation

Pay close attention to any inconsistencies or contradictions in your long-distance partner’s narratives. If you notice that their explanations don’t align or if you catch them in lies, it could be a clear indication that they are hiding something from you. Trust your instincts and be vigilant about red flags, no matter how seemingly insignificant.

For instance, if a friend informs you that they saw your partner in a compromising situation with someone else, it’s crucial to address the issue. When you confront your partner about your suspicions, be wary if they attempt to change the topic or deflect the question. This behaviour may suggest they are avoiding the truth, especially if they consistently sidestep the issue.

Now that you’re aware of these warning signs, stay vigilant in your long-distance relationship. Consistent communication, understanding changes in behavior, and addressing inconsistencies are key to maintaining trust and addressing potential issues before they escalate.