Marriage Counsellor and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

The first month of marriage is a unique and exciting time for newlyweds. It’s a period of adjustment, discovery, and laying the foundation for a strong, enduring relationship. Long-lasting couples understand the importance of this time and take specific steps to ensure their bond remains strong as they move forward together. Here’s a look at what successful couples often do during their first month of marriage to set the tone for a lifetime of happiness as shared by Delhi NCR’s top couple’s therapist Shivani Misri Sadhoo in this blog.

What things do long-lasting couples do during the first month of their marriage?

According to marriage counselor Shivani Sadhoo, things long-lasting couples do in their first month of marriage are:

Open Communication

One of the most critical aspects of a healthy marriage is communication. Long-lasting couples make it a priority to talk openly and honestly with each other. They share their thoughts, feelings, and concerns, ensuring that they are on the same page. This openness helps prevent misunderstandings and fosters a sense of trust and security in the relationship.

During the first month, these couples often establish communication patterns that will carry them through their marriage. Whether it’s setting aside time each day to talk about their day or discussing their future goals and dreams, they make communication a cornerstone of their relationship.

Spending Quality Time Together

The first month of marriage is a special time to build memories and deepen the bond. Long-lasting couples make the most of this period by spending quality time together. This doesn’t necessarily mean elaborate dates or expensive outings. It can be as simple as cooking together, taking walks, or enjoying a movie night at home.

By prioritizing time together, they strengthen their connection and create a strong foundation for their marriage. This quality time helps them understand each other better and reinforces the love and commitment they share.

Setting Boundaries and Expectations

Every couple comes into marriage with their own set of expectations and boundaries. Long-lasting couples understand the importance of discussing and setting these early on. Whether it’s about finances, household responsibilities, or social interactions, having clear boundaries helps prevent conflicts later on.

During the first month, successful couples take the time to discuss their expectations for the relationship. They talk about their roles, responsibilities, and how they will handle challenges that may arise. This proactive approach helps ensure that both partners feel respected and understood.

Fostering Physical Intimacy

Physical intimacy is a vital aspect of a marriage. Long-lasting couples prioritize this aspect of their relationship from the very beginning. They understand that physical affection is not just about physical intimacy but also about maintaining a close, loving connection.

During the first month, these couples often explore each other’s needs and desires, ensuring that both partners feel satisfied and cherished. They make time for intimacy, whether through affectionate gestures, cuddling, or simply being close to each other. This focus on physical connection helps build a strong emotional bond that lasts throughout their marriage.

Being Supportive and Encouraging

Marriage is a partnership, and long-lasting couples know the importance of supporting and encouraging each other. In the first month, they make a conscious effort to be each other’s biggest cheerleaders. Whether it’s in their personal goals, careers, or hobbies, they offer support and encouragement.

This mutual support helps build a strong foundation of trust and respect. It shows that they are committed to each other’s growth and happiness, which is crucial for a lasting relationship.

Maintaining a Sense of Humor

Marriage comes with its challenges, and long-lasting couples know the importance of maintaining a sense of humor. They don’t take themselves too seriously and find ways to laugh together, even when things don’t go as planned.

In the first month, these couples often face minor challenges as they adjust to married life. Instead of letting these moments cause tension, they use humor to diffuse potential conflicts and keep things light-hearted. This ability to laugh together strengthens their bond and makes it easier to navigate the ups and downs of marriage.

The first month of marriage is a crucial time for newlyweds to set the tone for their future together. Long-lasting couples understand this and take specific steps to ensure their relationship remains strong and healthy. By focusing on open communication, spending quality time together, setting boundaries, fostering physical intimacy, being supportive, and maintaining a sense of humor, they build a solid foundation for a lifetime of happiness. These actions, taken in the early days of marriage, pave the way for a fulfilling and enduring relationship

Did you know that it is perfectly normal to have feelings for another person even while you are married? These brief infatuations with another person are part of human nature, rooted in our brain chemistry. However, these feelings do not reflect anything about your marriage, your spouse, or the person you’re having a crush on.

While such feelings can add thrill and excitement to your life, they might also bring feelings of guilt and fear. Do not worry. Here are certain things that are being explained in this blog.

What do you need to do when you are married, yet are attracted to someone else?

Eminent couples therapist and marriage counsellor in Delhi, Shivani Misri Sadhoo is here to tell you what you can do when you are married but have a crush on someone else.

Accept your Feelings – Perhaps the first and foremost step in getting over your crush while married is to acknowledge and accept your feelings. Recognizing that crushes are a natural part of the human experience and do not signify a lack of love for your spouse or a failing marriage is crucial.

By admitting your feelings to yourself, you can take active measures to manage them, preventing them from leading to a potential affair. This self-awareness empowers you to gain control over your emotions, rather than allowing them to dictate your actions, ultimately helping you to move past the crush.

Reflect and Reconnect – When you’re married and having a crush on someone else, reflecting on your marriage is crucial. It helps you understand the potential consequences of acting on those feelings. Assessing what you stand to lose reminds you of the value of your relationship and the life you’ve built together.

Additionally, it prompts you to consider if the person you’re attracted to is truly worth jeopardizing your marriage. Furthermore, reflection may uncover underlying issues within your relationship that need attention. This introspection can lead to open communication with your spouse, strengthening your bond and addressing any areas for improvement.

Stay Away from Your Crush – Any kind of temptation is hard to resist, especially when it involves someone outside of your marriage. When you have a crush on someone, the best course of action is to create distance. While complete avoidance may be impossible, limiting contact is crucial. Setting clear boundaries and sticking to them prevents the crush from escalating.

Reducing interactions gradually diminishes the intensity of feelings over time, safeguarding the sanctity of your marriage. By prioritizing distance, you prioritize your commitment to your spouse and ensure the crush doesn’t jeopardize your relationship.

Set Clear Boundaries – Familiarity can intensify feelings and blur boundaries, potentially jeopardizing a marriage. It’s important to establish clear boundaries in such cases. By maintaining distance and limiting interactions with the crush, you prevent the escalation of emotions. Sending mixed signals only fuels confusion and potential misunderstandings, complicating matters further.

The sooner you recognize that managing a crush is solely your responsibility, the better it will be for you to avoid such behaviours that could harm your relationship. Communicating openly with your partner about boundaries reinforces trust and commitment. Remember, prioritizing your marriage means actively safeguarding against the allure of a crush and steering clear of actions that may compromise the relationship’s integrity.

Honest Communication – We all know that communication is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship. When you have a crush on someone else while you are married, it is quite natural to feel guilty or embarrassed about these feelings, but keeping them secret only intensifies the struggle. By openly discussing your emotions with your spouse, you’re acknowledging their importance and seeking understanding.

This transparency not only strengthens trust but also cultivates a deeper connection. While the conversation may feel awkward, it’s an opportunity to strengthen the bond between you and your partner. By confiding in them, you’re not only sharing your struggles but also inviting their support and perspective. This honesty can breathe new life into your relationship, allowing both of you to overcome challenges together. Ultimately, open communication lays the foundation for surmounting obstacles and reaffirming your commitment to each other.

It is evident from this article that it would be wise to acknowledge and accept your feelings, reflect on your marriage, maintain distance from your crush, set clear boundaries, and communicate openly with your spouse. These steps strengthen bonds and safeguard relationships.

Love is a wonderful feeling. When we love someone deeply, we open ourselves up to vulnerability, trusting them with our hearts and our deepest emotions. However, with this vulnerability comes the risk of betrayal, and one of the most painful forms of betrayal is emotional cheating. So, what is Emotional Cheating and how can we mend this broken trust? Delhi’s leading marriage and family therapist, Shivani Misri Sadhoo answers your question in this article.

What is Emotional Cheating?

Definition–Emotional cheating refers to forming intimate emotional bonds outside a primary relationship, breaking trust and boundaries. It doesn’t involve physical intimacy. Instead, it occurs when we develop strong feelings for someone outside of our committed relationship. Signs include secrecy, confiding in another, flirtation, and neglecting the partner’s needs.   

Emotional Cheating is not the same as Platonic friendship. In a platonic relationship, the emotional connection is significant, but it lacks the romantic or sexual attraction that typically defines a romantic relationship.

How does it happen? Innocent friendships can escalate into emotional affairs, often involving co-workers, exes, online friends, or seeking solace during relationship issues.

What is the impact of emotional cheating on the primary relationship?

Impact on primary relationship: It damages trust, weakens emotional closeness, suggests less commitment, and may lead to physical cheating, similar to infidelity.

What are the Signs of Emotional Cheating?

• You confide in someone else about your relationship issues instead of discussing them with your partner, breaching trust and intimacy.
• You feel excited while interacting with this person. This indicates a potential emotional connection beyond friendship.
• You deliberately conceal or minimize the depth of your bond with this individual from your partner, betraying transparency and honesty.
• There’s flirtatious behaviour with an underlying romantic or physical attraction, crossing the boundaries of platonic friendship.
• This person fulfils your emotional needs in ways your partner doesn’t, leading to dissatisfaction and comparison, wishing your partner were more like them.

What are the ways to mend this broken trust in relationships and marriages?

Mending broken trust after emotional cheating requires a concerted effort from both partners. It’s not easy, and it takes time, patience, and a willingness to confront difficult emotions head-on. Here are a few ways by which this is possible:

Accept your mistake – One of the crucial steps in rebuilding trust after emotional cheating is admitting and owning up to your actions. Accepting responsibility without excuses or blame shows genuine remorse. Validating your partner’s feelings and creating a safe space for them to express emotions freely nurtures healing and rebuilding trust.

Completely disconnect – When your partner decides to end the relationship due to emotional cheating, it signals seriousness. They must cut off all contact with the third party, allowing verification. This means blocking, avoiding encounters, and setting clear work boundaries if the affair was with a colleague.

Honest communication – Communication is the cornerstone of relationships. Honest, open dialogue is crucial for addressing emotional cheating. It creates a safe space for expressing feelings, rebuilding trust, and sharing perspectives. Through dialogue, partners understand each other better and can work towards healing the relationship.

Try to regain trust – Share your hopes, dreams, and emotions openly with your partner. Plan special dates to reconnect without distractions. Listen actively and empathize with each other. Rebuild trust after emotional cheating through open communication and intentional gestures of love.

Forgive and forget – It may be difficult to forgive and forget, yet it’s vital in overcoming emotional infidelity. It’s not just about pardoning your partner; it’s about releasing self-blame. Forgiveness liberates, empowering you to move forward and enabling relationship recovery.

Now that you understand emotional cheating and how to mend broken trust, remember: that honesty, communication, and forgiveness are key to rebuilding a stronger, more resilient relationship.

The internet has indeed revolutionized the world. Gone are the days when information was scarce and communication was slow. Today, with just a few clicks or taps, we can delve into a vast repository of knowledge on virtually any topic and connect with individuals worldwide in an instant. Social media, in particular, has streamlined the process of finding romantic partners, transcending geographical boundaries and time zones.

Yet, amid its convenience, social media has also become a breeding ground for relationship issues. The same platforms that bring couples closer together can also harbour hidden red flags that may signal trouble ahead.

To understand these social media red flags, let’s explore the perspective of top relationship expert and marriage counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo on the social media behaviours that should not be ignored in relationships.

What are the social media red flags in relationships?

Pretending to be single

When a partner behaves as if they’re single on social media—keeping relationship status hidden, avoiding posting photos together, or asking not to be tagged—it raises red flags. While some value privacy, constant avoidance of mentioning the relationship may indicate keeping options open or a lack of commitment. Genuine partners don’t hide relationships; secrecy may suggest dishonesty, embarrassment, or external pressure. Openness and acknowledgement are essential for healthy relationships.

Is your partner spending too much time on social media?

Spending excessive time on social media during dates can detract from romance, signalling that your partner’s focus isn’t on you. It may indicate addiction, where the virtual world overshadows real connections. Social media’s curated facade fosters dissatisfaction and can be an escape from unhappiness. Ignoring moments like sunsets hints at prioritizing screens over shared experiences. Recognizing these signs is crucial; excessive social media use can signal deeper issues affecting relationships and personal well-being.

Posting flirtatious remarks on others’ social media posts

Flirting with others on social media, especially through public comments, signals a lack of commitment and respect in a relationship. This behaviour undermines trust and emotional security, akin to infidelity. Engaging in such actions can lead to feelings of betrayal and hurt. Consistently leaving flirty comments on others’ posts raises doubts about one’s intentions and loyalty. It’s crucial to reflect on whether this behaviour aligns with your expectations for a healthy, monogamous relationship.

Not accepting social media requests

Many a time, refusing to accept a connection request on social media signals reluctance to integrate into each other’s lives. It suggests a lack of transparency and openness. Denying the request may indicate a desire to keep aspects of one’s life hidden, potentially signalling dishonesty or unfaithfulness. By rejecting the connection, the partner may be implying a disregard for the relationship’s importance or the other person’s feelings. Overall, refusal to connect on social media can raise concerns about trust and commitment.

Reluctant in posting your relationship online

Some people choose privacy, but when a partner avoids posting about the relationship on social media while being active otherwise, it raises concerns. The absence of acknowledgement could signal a lack of commitment or reluctance to publicly affirm the relationship. This omission may lead to feelings of exclusion and impact self-esteem negatively. Comparing one’s relationship to others’ flashy posts only emphasizes the authenticity of real-life connections.

Inconsistent behaviour or mismatch between online and offline conduct

When someone’s online persona is drastically different from their offline behaviour, it can raise concerns about authenticity and honesty in a relationship. While it’s common for people to curate their online presence to some extent, a significant inconsistency like this can be a red flag. For instance, imagine if your partner constantly shares posts about loyalty and trust online, but in reality, they frequently lie to you about their whereabouts or interactions with others. This mismatch between their digital facade and real-life actions could erode trust and breed resentment in the relationship over time.

Decodes Relationship Expert Shivani Sadhoo

If you thought that simply finding the perfect partner guarantees a happily ever after, think again. Love alone doesn’t shield us from moments of unhappiness or regret in marriage. As time passes, these moments can linger, potentially leading to the painful decision of separation or divorce. But what if I told you there’s a crucial factor that could significantly reduce the risk of divorce? According to relationship gurus and psychologists, timing matters just as much as compatibility—if you’re eyeing a divorce-free future, marry at the right age. Yes! Age matters!

Let’s find out more about this from India’s leading marriage counsellor and relationship expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo. Getting married too young can lead to divorce. But waiting too long, which isn’t as long as you might think, can also cause problems.

Why you shouldn’t marry in your teens or early 20s?

Scientifically speaking, the human brain isn’t fully developed until the mid-20s. So, you’re still figuring out a lot about yourself and what matters to you. The risks associated with early marriage are:

• Young people lack the experience and maturity to understand themselves and their goals in life. So, they rush into a relationship only to end up marrying the wrong person. This leads to a painful divorce.
• Early marriage often means starting a family sooner, which can pose financial challenges as young couples may not have stable careers or sufficient income to support themselves and any potential children.
• Marrying early can interrupt educational pursuits, limiting career opportunities and economic stability in the long run.
• Young couples may have unrealistic expectations about marriage and their partner, which can lead to disappointment and conflict when reality does not meet their expectations.

Why you shouldn’t wait too long to get married?

Studies reveal that marrying after 32 increases your risk of divorce approximately by 5% every year. The reasons could be:

• Baggage from Past Relationships: You might still have emotional stuff from previous relationships.
• Complex Family Situations: You might have kids from previous relationships, making things more complicated.
• Money Matters: Managing finances can be more challenging with established careers and responsibilities.
• Career Stress: Jobs can demand a lot of time and energy, which might strain your relationship.
• Midlife Crises: In your late 30s or 40s, you might start questioning your life choices, which can affect your marriage.
• Changing Priorities: As you get older, what you want from life might change, causing conflicts with your partner.
• Kids Leaving Home: When your kids grow up and move out, you might realize issues in your marriage that were hidden before.
• Trouble Communicating: Over time, it might become harder to talk openly with your partner, leading to misunderstandings.
• Cheating: Though it can happen at any age, affairs might be more common in your 40s, hurting your marriage.

What’s the right age to marry?

Studies reveal that getting married between the ages of 28 and 32 is linked with a lower chance of splitting up within the next five years. This age range seems to be just right for a few reasons.

• Maturity: People in this group tend to be more grown-up and less carried away by emotions. They’ve been through enough life experiences to handle tough situations better.
• Not so rigid: At the same time, they’re not too stuck in their own habits to compromise.
• Financial Stability: They often have enough money and stability to handle marriage without extra complications like ex-partners or kids from previous relationships.

So, all in all, this age range brings a good balance of maturity, flexibility, and financial security to make marriage more likely to last.

We must remember that there is no one-size-fits-all formula for marriage. While statistics suggest an optimal age range for tying the knot, individual circumstances, readiness, and compatibility remain crucial in ensuring a lasting and fulfilling

Leading marriage counsellor and couples therapist Shivani Misri Sadhoo explains why it is important to continue with your therapy even when you find it tough to handle.

When life throws us curve balls and we feel like we’re constantly running on empty, how do we navigate the maze of emotions that come with it? In a world where the pace never seems to slow down, where do we find solace and support for our mental and emotional well-being?

The answer may lie in therapy.

In today’s fast-paced world, it’s all too easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of daily life. From work deadlines to family obligations, the relentless demands on our time and energy can leave us feeling drained and overwhelmed. And when faced with challenges or setbacks, it’s not uncommon to find ourselves struggling to cope with the flood of emotions that accompany them.

But what if there was a way to untangle the knots of our emotions, to make sense of the chaos within ourselves?

Therapy is working for you

At first, therapy feels good. You connect with your therapist, feel understood, and learn about yourself. But then you hit a wall. You talk in circles, feel irritated, and dislike therapy. It’s normal. It means you’re making progress, confronting things you’d rather avoid.

It’s tough but part of the process. If therapy would have been easy, everybody would have been doing it. Sometimes your therapist dives deep into your subconscious to uncover painful memories. Don’t give up, it’s all part of the journey towards healing.

Improvement of Coping Skills

Did you know that our life experiences shape how we deal with emotions? Interactions with others and life events affect how we react to what happens to us. When you talk to a psychologist when you’re feeling good, it’s easier to think about things and become more aware. Therapy makes you feel safe and helps you understand how you handle emotions.

It can also help you replace unhealthy coping mechanisms with better ones. Therapy gives you a chance to learn new ways to deal with tough situations or feelings. Your therapist can show you how to spot negative thoughts and change them to feel better. This can lead to a happier mood and better overall health.

Improves Clarity of Thought

It is quite natural to feel bothered by things from time to time, even if your overall life is happy. These could include annoying habits from your partner, family discussions, or work issues. Dealing with these challenges can affect your daily well-being and long-term happiness. Talking to a therapist can help you understand and clarify your emotions.

They offer an outside perspective that can be very useful. While family and friends can help, therapists are trained to listen and provide helpful insights. Identifying your feelings and why you’re feeling them is healthy and makes them easier to manage.

Helps in Personal Growth

Therapy often helps you rediscover your inner self. It sees difficulties not as roadblocks but as stepping stones for personal growth. This psychological path lets you explore your mind and understand yourself better.

Instead of changing external circumstances, therapy focuses on how you cope and respond to them. It’s an inward journey where gaining insight helps you grow into the person you want to be, boosting your self-efficacy and fulfilment. A trained psychologist guides you with understanding and tools for this transformation.

Teaches you different strategies to handle stress better

Therapy offers valuable tools and techniques for handling life’s challenges smoothly. It provides strategies like cognitive-behavioural methods and mindfulness practices. Therapists help clients manage stress, anxiety, and depression. With practice, individuals can develop self-awareness and emotional control. This empowers them to face life’s hurdles with more confidence.

Therapy isn’t just about overcoming obstacles; it’s a journey toward self-discovery and a more fulfilling life. In essence, persisting through the challenging phases of therapy is pivotal for profound personal growth. Embracing discomfort signifies progress, honing coping skills, clarifying thoughts, fostering resilience, and acquiring strategies for stress management.

Dating an independent woman can be an enriching experience, but it also comes with its own set of nuances. So, what exactly do independent women want from men in relationships?

First and foremost, it’s essential to understand who an independent woman is. She’s not just someone who pays her bills or pursues her career goals. An independent woman knows herself deeply, speaks her mind with clarity, and lives authentically according to her values. She doesn’t seek validation or fulfilment from others; instead, she finds it within herself.

What are the things independent women want from men?

Let us learn from leading marriage and relationship counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo in this blog.

Respect

Independent women seek partners who not only recognize but celebrate their autonomy. A secure man values her self-reliance, encouraging her aspirations and respecting her need for space. He engages in constructive dialogue, cherishes her uniqueness, and supports her goals.

Moreover, he values her physical boundaries and emotional well-being, recognizing that true allure lies in his ability to comprehend and connect with her as an individual while acknowledging the unity within their shared journey.

Equality in relationships

An independent woman looks for a partner who is her equal, not her competitor. She believes in sharing responsibilities, making decisions together, and working as a team to build a life. This means both partners pitch in and share the load, creating a balanced and satisfying dynamic.

Equality isn’t just about the basics; it’s about fairness, talking openly, and understanding each other. It’s about seeing and respecting each other’s differences and treating each other’s opinions and contributions with value, regardless of what society says.

Honest communication

Good communication is vital for a healthy relationship. Independent women appreciate partners who are upfront and willing to have deep conversations. She values openness and honesty, so it’s important to be direct and assertive like her.

Don’t shy away from expressing your thoughts and feelings. She wants her partner to be transparent and vulnerable too, as this builds intimacy and strengthens the relationship. So, keep the dialogue open and honest for a deeper connection that grows stronger over time.

Emotional connection

Sometimes, grasping the unspoken nuances becomes crucial. An empowered and self-reliant woman places great value on emotional availability in a relationship. Recognizing the significance of emotional intimacy, she seeks a connection that goes beyond shared interests and physical attraction. Fearless in embracing vulnerability, she desires a partner who shares this openness.

For her, a relationship is a comprehensive bond that involves mutual support and understanding. Even the most self-sufficient woman may, at times, yearn to be vulnerable, allowing her partner to be the pillar of strength.

They want their partners to follow their own dreams too

Independent women seek partners who are strong and self-sufficient. They are drawn to individuals who can handle their own lives without constant support. These women value ambition and expect their partners to have their own aspirations.

Being with someone who is driven not only adds excitement to the relationship but also fosters personal growth and independence. Such partnerships propel both parties toward their dreams and create a supportive environment for mutual success.

Looks for unconditional love

An independent woman values her needs in a relationship. Despite her strength, she desires love, care, and consideration. Like anyone, she seeks a partner who embraces her flaws, celebrates her uniqueness, and stands by her through life’s challenges. Recognize her feelings, be there for her, and show unconditional love for a flourishing relationship.

Now that we’ve explored what independent women expect from their partners—respect, equality, honest communication, emotional connection, and shared dreams—it’s evident that they seek relationships built on mutual understanding and support. These expectations foster strong bonds where both individuals thrive personally and collectively, embracing each other’s autonomy and aspirations.

Relationships are like roller coasters, full of twists, turns, and unexpected drops. They can whisk us away on thrilling highs one moment and leave us feeling disoriented in the depths of a low the next. But amidst this whirlwind of emotions and experiences, there often comes a point where we question whether it’s worth continuing the ride or if it’s time to disembark. If you find yourself at this crossroads, here are some signs suggested by India’s leading marriage counselor and relationship expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo that indicate your relationship may still be worth fighting for in this blog.

What signs do you need to check for so that you don’t give up?

Still Happy With Each Other

When two individuals cherish the simplicity of being together, it signifies a depth of connection that transcends superficiality. Engaging in hearty laughter, sharing heartfelt conversations, and relishing each other’s company amid life’s ordinary moments affirm the resilience of the bond.

Such genuine joy becomes the foundation upon which the relationship stands, offering a compelling reason to persevere through challenges. Laughter, like an adhesive, binds hearts tightly, serving as a testament to the enduring strength of the connection. Thus, finding genuine joy in one another’s presence underscores the significance of the relationship, making it a cause worth fighting for.

Unwilling to Hurt Each Other

When a relationship hits a rough patch and tensions run high, it’s common for couples to become embroiled in anger and conflict. However, when despite the anger and frustration, neither partner harbors the intention to inflict harm, it speaks volumes about the underlying love and respect in the relationship.  It showcases the strength of their bond and the potential for growth and reconciliation. Therefore, this unwillingness to cause harm becomes a beacon of hope, signaling that the relationship is worth fighting for and nurturing.

Care and Concern still exists

Even amidst frustrations and conflicts, the fact that you still hold genuine concern for the other person’s well-being signifies a profound connection worth nurturing. This caring attitude suggests an underlying emotional investment and a desire for mutual growth and happiness.

It demonstrates that despite the challenges, there remains a foundation of empathy, understanding, and commitment. This means that the relationship is still worth fighting for.

Trying to Change for You

When your partner takes genuine steps to address concerns, it’s a positive sign worth holding onto the relationship. It’s crucial to distinguish between words and deeds. If they promise change but show no effort to improve, it’s a signal to reconsider the relationship’s viability and perhaps move on. Genuine efforts to change demonstrate commitment and reinforce the relationship’s value.

Willing to make the relationship work

If both of you are still willing to put effort into the relationship, it’s a clear sign that there’s more to be salvaged. When you and your partner are determined to work through difficulties, compromise, and improve things, it’s worth giving the relationship another chance.

Even when times are tough, and it feels like the love is fading, the fact that both of you are committed to fighting together is a priceless indication of something worth holding onto. Having a partner who refuses to give up and is dedicated to doing their best is truly wonderful. However, it’s essential to be honest about whether the challenges, such as significant differences in values or life visions, can be overcome.

Trust exists

Trust is the key to a strong relationship. When you trust your partner and they trust you back, it shows that you both have each other’s backs. Even when things get tough, knowing you can count on each other is a reason to keep working on the relationship.

If you still believe in your partner and feel confident they have your best interests at heart, it means there’s hope for your relationship. Trust is like a bridge that connects your hearts, and if it’s still there, it means your relationship is built on a strong foundation.

Once you have assessed the signs – shared happiness, a commitment to avoid harm, lingering care, genuine efforts for change, a joint willingness to make it work, and the foundation of trust – the decision to fight for a relationship becomes a meaningful pursuit, fortified by the enduring strength of genuine connection.

Relationships often confuse us. Sometimes, the one who captures our heart can be tender and affectionate, yet in the next moment, they may appear distant or even irritable. They might shower us with thoughtful gestures, only to disregard our desires when things don’t align with their expectations. This ambiguity leaves us questioning whether their intentions are genuine or if they’re merely toying with our feelings for their own gain.

Are you curious to know the signs that a man is using you?

Let’s find out from India’s leading marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo about these signs.

He has no interest in you

When a guy consistently shows disinterest in you and your life, it indicates he’s likely using you for his own benefit. Genuine interest in a partner involves wanting to know about their thoughts, feelings, and experiences. If he only engages with you when it serves his agenda or ignores your interests altogether, it’s a clear sign that he’s not invested in building a meaningful connection but rather exploiting your presence for personal gain.

He ignores you in front of others

If the man you love showers you with attention but suddenly ignores or avoids you in front of others, it’s a red flag. Pay close attention to how he treats you around people he knows. If he’s inconsistent, prioritizing his image over your feelings, he may be using you for his benefit. Genuine affection doesn’t fluctuate based on who’s watching. Trust your instincts and confront the situation honestly.

He is not really putting an effort

When you’re the only one making efforts in a relationship, it’s a telltale sign of being used. You’re constantly striving to maintain the connection while he shows little interest or willingness to reciprocate. It resembles a parasocial relationship, where you invest emotions, time, and energy, but he remains oblivious. Communication feels one-sided; he’s physically present but emotionally absent. You’re essentially talking to yourself, solving his problems, not yours.

He’s available as per his need/schedule

When someone’s always available on their terms but mysteriously busy when you need them, it’s a red flag. Genuine interest means being there through thick and thin, not just when it suits them. If your partner is consistently unavailable on weekends and only meets as per their schedule, it’s unfair. A serious relationship requires effort from both sides.

If they call all the shots and take you for granted, it’s a sign they might be using you. Evaluate your self-worth and make a decision. He intentionally makes plans with his friends or colleagues on weekends to stay away from you. Isn’t that a sign to consider?

Toxic manipulation

Manipulative behavior becomes evident when he dismisses your feelings, turning every disagreement into a blame game. Constantly undermining your confidence, he uses language to make you feel inadequate. Control dominates arguments, making it you versus him instead of addressing issues together.

He avoids responsibility by shifting blame, leaving you burdened with guilt. Gaslighting adds another layer, distorting truth and denying reality. This draining dynamic indicates he prioritizes personal gain over a healthy relationship, making it crucial to reassess the connection.

He doesn’t want to empathize with you

Empathy means understanding and sharing someone else’s feelings. Let’s say you’re feeling down after a tough day, and instead of offering support or showing concern, he brushes off your emotions or doesn’t even acknowledge them.

This lack of empathy suggests he’s more focused on his own needs and desires, using you as a means to an end rather than genuinely caring about your well-being. In essence, his actions reveal a self-centred nature, indicating he’s not genuinely invested in your happiness or fulfilment.

He needs monetary favor always

When your boyfriend consistently relies on you for financial support, often at inconvenient times, and fails to reciprocate in the relationship, it’s a clear sign of exploitation. His sudden sweetness when money is involved reveals his true intentions. You can tell that he is using you when his actions consistently prioritize his needs over yours, leaving you drained and unfulfilled. Recognizing this toxic dynamic is essential for reclaiming your worth and finding a healthier relationship.

Hence, in a nutshell, when someone shows consistent signs of disinterest, manipulation, and exploitation in a relationship, it’s time to reassess its value and prioritize your own well-being. Trust your instincts and choose a healthier path forward.

Marriage, a sacred union between two individuals, is a profound life decision that significantly influences the course of one’s existence. The timing of such a commitment plays a crucial role in its success. While societal norms often emphasize the importance of marrying early, there exists a compelling argument that marrying the wrong person prematurely can be far more detrimental than waiting until later in life.

Why is getting married late better than marrying the wrong person early?

Leading couples therapist and marriage counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares her views on this question in this blog.

The Rush to Commitment:

Society’s expectations and cultural norms often pressure individuals to tie the knot at a relatively young age. The fear of being labelled “too old” or the societal perception that marriage is a milestone that must be achieved by a certain age can lead many to make hasty decisions in choosing a life partner. However, the consequences of rushing into a commitment of such magnitude without proper self-discovery and understanding of one’s needs can be profound.

The Importance of Self-Discovery:

Marrying the wrong person early in life often stems from a lack of self-awareness and understanding. In the rush to meet societal expectations, individuals may neglect their personal growth and development. The early twenties, a period often associated with self-discovery and career building, may not be the optimal time for everyone to make a lifelong commitment. People evolve and change over time, and marrying too early may limit the opportunities for personal growth and self-discovery.

Changing Priorities and Values:

In the early stages of adulthood, individuals are still in the process of shaping their identities, career paths, and personal values. Rushing into marriage without fully understanding these aspects can lead to a misalignment of priorities between partners. As individuals mature, their values and life goals may evolve, potentially causing strain on the relationship if the couple has not grown together or if they have grown in different directions.

The Toll on Mental and Emotional Well-being:

Marrying the wrong person can take a significant toll on one’s mental and emotional well-being. Early divorces, which often result from hastily made decisions, can be emotionally devastating. The process of untangling lives, shared assets, and emotional bonds can be far more complex and emotionally draining than waiting until later in life when individuals have a clearer sense of self and a more stable foundation.

The Benefits of Waiting:

On the other hand, waiting to get married allows individuals the time and space to explore their own identities fully. It provides the opportunity to establish a stable career, build a solid support network, and gain a deeper understanding of personal values and priorities. Waiting until later in life to commit to marriage often results in more mature, well-rounded individuals who are better equipped to navigate the complexities of a lifelong partnership.

Whereas, societal expectations may emphasize the importance of marrying early, the potential consequences of marrying the wrong person prematurely cannot be ignored. Taking the time to embark on a journey of self-discovery, career development, and personal growth can significantly enhance the chances of entering into a successful and fulfilling marriage later in life. Individuals must prioritize their well-being and growth before succumbing to societal pressures, recognizing that marrying late, with the right person, is a far wiser choice than rushing into a commitment that may not withstand the test of time.