Marriage Counsellor and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

We do not live in a perfect world, and no relationship is flawless. It is quite natural for all relationships to go through ups and downs. Conflicts and disagreements are bound to happen, even in the most loving families.

According to psychologists, the fact that parents fight is not the real issue—what truly matters is how they resolve those fights, with maturity and a balanced point of view. When parents manage their disagreements with calm, maturity, and mutual respect, some arguments can actually be constructive and can teach kids valuable lessons about communication and compromise.

Children are vulnerable. They are innocent. For them, parents are the primary source of safety and stability. So, when they see their parents yelling or arguing, they feel insecure and scared. This kind of toxic environment can leave an indelible mark on their young minds—sometimes with long-term psychological consequences.

How can You Safeguard Your Children during Couple Arguments?

Shivani Misri Sadhoo, one of the top couples therapists in Delhi, shares a few tips and tricks on how to protect children when couples argue.

1. Don’t Raise Your Voice

Parenting is tough, no doubt, and an argument between a couple can’t always be avoided. However, how we handle these arguments matters most, especially in front of our children. When voices are raised, the impact on a child can be deeper than we imagine. They may not always show it, but they’re soaking in every word, every tone, and every reaction. A loud argument can leave them feeling unsafe or anxious, and over time, they may begin to mirror that behavior.

Kids don’t just hear us—they learn from us. If we shout when we’re upset, they may grow up thinking that’s how stress or disagreement is supposed to be handled. But if we can stay calm, even when things get heated, we’re teaching them strength, patience, and emotional stability. It’s not about being perfect parents—it’s about being conscious ones, especially when little ears and hearts are in the room.

2. Maintain Privacy

A good way to handle arguments between couples is to keep them behind closed doors. Children feel uncomfortable and emotionally unsafe when their parents fight in front of them, even unintentionally. They often have difficulty understanding the full context of disagreements, which can cause confusion, fear, or even a false sense of responsibility.

The privacy of the argument doesn’t make the argument harmless, but it shields the children from the emotional baggage of the argument. While kids can still sense tension in the air, watching it unfold directly is far more damaging. The separation of their children from conflict allows them to feel secure and emotionally stable while also allowing their parents to resolve issues without involving their children.

3. Keep Children Away From The Fights

Keeping kids out of a heated debate is one of the best things parents can do. Children should never be forced to mediate disputes between their parents or be pulled into adult disputes. Children who witness violent arguments, particularly if they feel compelled to choose a side, may become confused, emotionally conflicted, and even hold themselves accountable for the hostility at home.

No child should have to bear the burden of their parents’ problems or feel bad about something that is out of their control. They should be able to grow up without the emotional upheaval of adult arguments, in an environment where they feel safe, secure, and unconditionally loved by both parents.

4. Be Frank With Your Child

Make sure to have a heart-to-heart chat with your child, gently explaining that not all arguments are bad. Let them know that sometimes parents do fight, but that doesn’t mean something is wrong. In fact, some disagreements can lead to healthy conversations and help people understand each other better.

Reassure them that even when people argue, it doesn’t take away the love and care they have for one another. Tell them, “We still love you, and we still love each other.” It’s important to stay calm and help them see that just like they might have small fights with friends at school and then make up later, grown-ups do the same.

5. Seek Professional Guidance

Sometimes, it takes an outside perspective to truly understand what’s going wrong truly. If you’ve fought with your partner in front of your child, don’t be too hard on yourself—it happens. But if these arguments are becoming frequent or turning into shouting matches filled with insults, swearing, or slammed doors, it might be time to seek professional help.

No parent wants their child to carry the emotional weight of constant conflict at home. Counselling or therapy can offer a safe space to work through issues, using practical, proven methods to help couples communicate better and find healthier ways to handle disagreements.

Children deserve a safe, loving environment in which to grow. When parents stay calm, sort out issues in private, and keep little ones away from heated moments, they create a safer space for their children. Reassuring kids with love and honesty and seeking help when needed shows real strength. It’s okay to argue—just protect those tender hearts through it all.

Many a time, people in love wonder how much their partner truly loves them. Can love be measured, just like we measure physical quantities like weight, height, or time?

The answer is no. Love is an emotion—a deeply personal and abstract feeling that cannot be quantified by tangible metrics. It is not about how many candlelight dinners you share, the number of gifts exchanged, or even how often the words “I love you” are said.

Love is far more profound and complex than that. Small, meaningful gestures often reveal the depth of a relationship.

Helping your partner with household chores, taking on tasks they dislike just to make their day easier, or showing empathy in moments of stress can signify deep affection. Interestingly, a simple act like peeling an orange can become a litmus test of love. 

Yes, you read that right! The Orange Peel Theory, a concept currently trending on TikTok, apparently tells you how much your partner loves you.

Let’s find out more about this theory from India’s top marriage counselor and relationship expert, Shivani Misri Sadhoo.

What is it about the Orange Peel Theory?

The “orange peel theory,” a concept that has captivated social media, beautifully illustrates the essence of a healthy relationship through the lens of small, everyday acts of care.

Imagine this: you’re seated at the kitchen table, staring at an orange, wishing someone would save you the trouble of peeling it. You casually ask your partner, and their response—whether an effortless “Sure, love” or “Do it yourself” — speaks volumes.

It’s not about the orange or the task itself; it’s about their willingness to make your life easier, even in trivial moments. This simple act reflects a deeper emotional truth: love isn’t measured by grand gestures but by the quiet, thoughtful ways someone shows they care.

Whether it’s brewing your favorite cup of tea after a long day or offering to handle a chore you dislike, these small actions signal empathy, understanding, and a readiness to meet your needs. At its core, the orange peel theory reminds us that the strength of a relationship lies in the details, where love thrives in the mundane.

How does it help people?

The “orange peel theory” emphasizes small, thoughtful gestures over grand declarations of affection. It highlights attunement—being present and noticing subtle ways to brighten your partner’s day, like peeling an orange for them.

These simple acts of service can strengthen intimacy and self-esteem without words. The theory also helps de-escalate conflicts through care and attention when words fail. Gaining popularity for its relatability, ease of application, and immediate feedback, it offers a practical approach to fostering deeper connections in today’s fast-paced world.

Love Languages

The Orange Peel Theory helps explore how you and your partner give and receive love. Love languages include:

·       Gift-giving

·       Quality time

·       Acts of service

·       Physical touch

·       Words of affirmation

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Shared experiences & emotional security. For example sharing an orange can highlight a partner’s preference for quality time.

Communication Styles

The theory encourages understanding communication methods and improving them and asks meaningful questions to uncover how you both communicate and your goals.

Areas to Work On

It helps identify strengths and areas for improvement in the relationship. and celebrate the good and discuss areas that need change.

Limitations of this Theory

– Oversimplifies relationship dynamics by focusing on one act, ignoring deeper aspects like communication and conflict resolution. 

– Assumes everyone expresses love the same way, overlooking other love languages like quality time or words of affirmation. 

– Small actions may be misinterpreted, leading to misunderstandings about a partner’s feelings. 

– Encourages unhealthy “testing” of love, creating insecurity instead of trust. 

– Sets unrealistic expectations, ignoring the need for compromise and respecting individual boundaries.

Love isn’t one-size-fits-all but thrives in simple gestures. The Orange Peel Theory shows that love often lies in small acts, like peeling an orange without hesitation. Such thoughtful moments highlight care and connection.

If your partner doesn’t do this, it doesn’t mean they love you less—love is expressed in many ways. Embracing these differences fosters stronger, more meaningful relationships.

Gone are the days when couples used to write letters to each other, pouring their hearts out on paper, with every word carrying the weight of their emotions. Those heartfelt messages took days, sometimes weeks, to arrive, and the anticipation of receiving them made the connection even more precious. Today, in our fast-paced digital age, relationships have shifted dramatically. Quick texts, emojis, and video calls have become the new language of love. While this instant communication has brought unparalleled convenience, it has also introduced a new challenge—how do we maintain deep emotional connections in a world dominated by fleeting interactions?

This is where the concept of digital intimacy comes in. Digital intimacy is not just about staying connected through devices; it’s about using technology to nurture, deepen, and sustain the emotional bonds that hold relationships together. If done right, it can bring couples closer than ever. But how do you strengthen digital intimacy in a way that feels real and fulfilling? 

Eminent marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo in Delhi NCR shares a few tips and tricks for strengthening Digital Intimacy in Relationships.

What is Digital Intimacy?

In simple words, digital intimacy is the emotional closeness and connection people build through digital platforms. It involves sharing thoughts, feelings, and expressions of love via screens, creating meaningful bonds and communication despite physical distance. This helps individuals to nurture relationships, share personal experiences, and maintain a sense of togetherness in the digital space.

Pros and Cons of Digital Intimacy

Some of the pros of digital intimacy are:

• It enables communication across cities and countries with ease. 
• It offers flexibility and convenience, keeping people connected despite busy schedules. 
• It allows creative expression through surprise gifts, playlists, and video calls. 

Cons of digital intimacy:

Some of the cons of digital intimacy are:

• It can feel shallow, lacking facial expressions and tone of voice. 
• It raises privacy concerns, making sharing personal details feel vulnerable.

Tips to Strengthen Digital Intimacy

A few tips may help to bolster digital intimacy.

Meaningful Communication

Just because communication happens virtually doesn’t mean emotions are any less real. There are plenty of ways to express your feelings and connect with your loved ones, even from a distance.

Words Matter: Thoughtful words can carry deep emotion. A carefully crafted message or a simple “I love you” can leave a lasting impact, showing your affection in a meaningful way.

Voice and Tone: Whether through voice messages or calls, the tone and inflection of your voice can convey warmth, care, and love, even when you are miles apart.

Video Calls: The ability to see each other’s facial expressions and body language during video calls helps recreate the in-person connection, making the interaction feel more authentic and personal.

Emojis and Stickers: While they may seem small, emojis and digital stickers can be powerful tools to express joy, love, or empathy in a fun and light hearted way.

Consistency and Thoughtfulness: Even the simplest gestures—like checking in or sharing a fond memory—can go a long way in maintaining a strong emotional bond.

Know Each Other Better

In today’s world, technology bridges the gap between couples, making physical distance feel less significant. Virtual communication, like late-night video calls and heartfelt texts, builds deep emotional connections. The absence of daily distractions allows couples to explore each other’s thoughts and feelings more profoundly. This intentional time together strengthens the bond, making the relationship more meaningful despite the miles apart.

Gifts and Surprises

Sending virtual gifts—like an e-card, a playlist of songs, or a heartfelt message—adds a special touch that shows just how much you care.

Digital Alertness

At the end of the day, your safety matters most. Being digitally alert is key to strengthening digital intimacy. In a world where transparency builds trust, it’s important to set boundaries for social media and online interactions. Respect each other’s space, avoid expecting constant replies, and address discomfort calmly to foster trust and healthy connections.

In a nutshell, digital intimacy is about leveraging technology to nurture emotional closeness in relationships. Meaningful communication, deep understanding, thoughtful surprises, and digital alertness are key to strengthening this bond. By blending creativity with care, couples can transcend physical distance, fostering genuine connections in today’s digital age.

A marriage is built on love, trust, and companionship, but when your partner’s behavior shifts unexpectedly, it can raise unsettling questions. If your husband seems distant, preoccupied, or different, you may start to wonder whether he has been unfaithful. Here are some key signs that might indicate a change in your relationship.

How do you know if your husband has slept with someone else?

According to one of India’s leading marriage counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo, you may look out for some of the signs. These are.

Sudden Increase in Busyness

If your husband’s schedule is suddenly packed with work trips, late nights, or unexpected weekend getaways, it might be a red flag. While occasional busy periods can be normal, a persistent pattern of “working late” without a clear reason could hint at a hidden relationship.

When his excuses start to feel excessive—like last-minute presentations or surprise overtime without any job changes—this shift in priorities might indicate he’s spending time with someone else.

Lack of Emotional Intimacy

Emotional distance can be a strong indicator of infidelity. If your husband becomes less open about his feelings, avoids deep conversations, or no longer expresses affection, it may be a sign he’s emotionally connecting with someone else.

This withdrawal often extends to physical intimacy, as guilt from an affair might make him feel uncomfortable or distant around you. True connection requires emotional honesty and presence; without these, your relationship may start lacking the closeness that signifies commitment.

Increased Secrecy

When a partner becomes unusually secretive, it can suggest they have something to hide. If your husband starts acting protective of his phone or social media accounts—keeping his phone face down or muting notifications—it might signal he’s involved with someone else.

While everyone deserves personal space, this level of secrecy in a marriage can be concerning, especially if he previously had no issue sharing details with you. If his behavior changes suddenly and he becomes guarded about his technology, it could indicate he’s trying to cover up an affair.

Frequent Late Nights

If your husband, who rarely used to go out, starts having more frequent night outs, this could be cause for concern. His usual explanations of “working late” or “hanging out with friends” might start to seem less convincing as these nights out increase in frequency.

You may notice him coming home later or being more secretive with his phone. These changes, especially if they feel out of character, may hint at the presence of someone new in his life. Trusting your instincts in these situations can be important, as they often pick up on subtle changes in your relationship.

Unfamiliar Scents

This might seem dramatic, but unexpected changes in your husband’s scent can be a subtle clue. If he comes home smelling of an unfamiliar perfume or a different soap, it may raise suspicions, especially if there’s no logical explanation like a workout or a long day at work.

While this alone doesn’t confirm infidelity, it can be a sign of intimacy with someone else, prompting you to question what’s happening in your relationship.

While these signs don’t definitively prove infidelity, they can indicate that something is off in your marriage. It’s essential to trust your instincts and address any concerns through open communication with your partner. Emotional honesty and transparency are key to maintaining a healthy, faithful relationship. If you notice these patterns consistently, it may be time to have an honest conversation with your husband about the state of your relationship.

The friend zone happens when one person develops romantic feelings, while the other sees them only as a friend. This often occurs due to a lack of clear romantic intent or chemistry from the beginning, leading the other person to perceive the relationship as purely platonic.

Factors such as comfort, emotional dependence, or fear of ruining the friendship can also keep someone in the friend zone. Sometimes, it’s because the other person doesn’t feel a romantic connection, even if they value the friendship deeply. Miscommunication or not expressing feelings early on can further solidify this dynamic.

What are some of the ways to move out of the friend zone?

Here are some practical steps to help you move out of the friend zone as explained by leading couples’ therapists in Delhi NCR Shivani Misri Sadhoo in this blog.

Understand Why You’re in the Friend Zone

Before taking any action, it’s crucial to understand why you might be in the friend zone. This often happens when the other person sees you as a reliable friend, but there’s no romantic spark. You might not have made your romantic interest clear, or perhaps they don’t see you in a romantic light because of the dynamic you’ve created.

Step: Reflect on how the relationship has developed and what role you’ve played in it. Ask yourself if you’ve unintentionally sent out “friend-only” vibes.

Shift the Dynamic

One of the main reasons people remain in the friend zone is because they haven’t established romantic or flirtatious chemistry. To move out of the friend zone, you need to subtly change how the other person sees you. This could be done through subtle flirting, complimenting them in ways that go beyond friendship, or finding ways to create more intimate and romantic situations.

Step: Start small by complimenting them in a more personal, genuine way: “You look amazing today,” or “I love how passionate you are about your goals.” This signals your interest without being too forward.

Take Care of Your Own Life

Sometimes, people end up in the friend zone because they become too available and predictable. To break out of that cycle, you need to focus on yourself and your own life. Pursue your own interests, meet new people, and create a life that’s fulfilling without relying on their attention. This can make you more attractive because confidence and independence are key qualities that spark romantic interest.

Step: Invest time in hobbies, personal growth, and new experiences. Show them that you have a life beyond friendship.

Be Open About Your Feelings

At some point, if you really want to move out of the friend zone, you will have to express your romantic feelings. It’s important to do this in a calm and respectful way, without pressuring the other person. Let them know that you value the friendship, but you also have deeper feelings for them and want to be honest.

Step: When you feel the time is right, have an honest conversation. Keep it light: “I’ve been thinking about us, and I realize I have feelings for you. I just wanted to be upfront, but I also value our friendship no matter what.”

Respect Their Decision

The reality is, after you express your feelings, they might not feel the same way. If that happens, it’s important to respect their decision and not try to pressure or guilt them into a relationship. If they only want to remain friends, you’ll have to decide whether that’s something you’re okay with, or if it’s better to distance yourself.

Step: If they say they don’t feel the same way, respond with grace and respect. Don’t burn bridges or become bitter. Accept their feelings and move on if necessary.

Moving out of the friend zone is not a guaranteed process, and it requires patience, self-awareness, and a willingness to take risks. Sometimes, it’s possible to transition from a friendship to a romantic relationship, but it’s important to remain respectful of the other person’s feelings. Ultimately, whether or not you succeed, focusing on building a life you love and maintaining healthy relationships is always a win.

Love is one of the most powerful emotions a person can experience, and it often manifests through subtle yet significant behaviors. When a woman is truly in love, her actions will reflect her deep affection and commitment toward her partner. Understanding these behaviors can provide insights into how she feels and her intentions in the relationship.

What are the signs usually shown by a woman that suggests she truly is in love with you?

Here are five behaviors that a woman usually displays when she is genuinely in love, says Delhi’s top marriage and family therapist Shivani Misri Sadhoo in this blog.

She Prioritizes Your Well-Being

One of the most common signs that a woman is truly in love is her concern for your well-being. She will often go out of her way to ensure that you are happy, healthy, and emotionally secure. Whether it’s reminding you to eat well, helping you through tough times, or simply lending an ear when you need to talk, she will be actively involved in your life. This level of care isn’t just about being attentive; it’s about wanting the best for you in every aspect of your life.

In love, she may make sacrifices to make your life easier or better. This doesn’t mean she’ll lose herself in the process, but her genuine care and effort to make you comfortable is a significant indicator of her feelings.

She Is Fully Present

In today’s fast-paced world, being truly present with someone is one of the most powerful ways to show love. A woman who is in love will give you her undivided attention when you’re together. Whether you’re having deep conversations or simply spending quiet moments in each other’s company, she will make you feel like you are the most important person in the room.

Her body language will also reflect this presence. She’ll maintain eye contact, lean in when you speak, and engage fully in the conversation. This genuine focus on you is her way of showing that she values your relationship and cherishes the time you spend together.

She Shows Unconditional Support

When a woman is truly in love, she becomes your biggest supporter. She will encourage your dreams and ambitions, even when they seem far-fetched. Her love translates into believing in you, sometimes even more than you believe in yourself. She will offer advice when you need it but will also give you the space to pursue your passions and make your own choices.

This support can also manifest during challenging times. Whether you’re dealing with work stress, family issues, or personal challenges, she’ll stand by your side. Her ability to be there for you through thick and thin is a strong indication of her love and commitment.

She Includes You in Her Future Plans

A woman in love will naturally begin to include you in her long-term plans. Whether it’s discussing future vacations, career goals, or even family planning, her thoughts of the future will often involve you. She will be eager to share her dreams and hopes for the future with you, and she’ll want to hear yours too.

This is a clear indication that she sees you as part of her life moving forward. The desire to build a future together shows that her love for you goes beyond the present moment and extends into the years ahead.

She Is Vulnerable and Trusts You

True love involves vulnerability and trust. When a woman is truly in love, she will open up to you about her deepest thoughts, fears, and insecurities. This openness isn’t a sign of weakness but rather a sign of trust. She feels safe enough with you to share her true self, knowing that you will accept her as she is.

Being vulnerable also means that she trusts you with her emotions. She’ll be honest about how she feels and won’t shy away from expressing her affection. This emotional transparency is a strong sign of her love because it shows that she’s willing to invest in the relationship on a deep, emotional level.

When a woman is truly in love, her actions will speak louder than words. From prioritizing your well-being to including you in her future plans, these behaviors reflect the depth of her feelings. If you notice these signs in your partner, it’s a good indication that her love for you is genuine and lasting. The key to maintaining such a relationship is mutual respect, communication, and reciprocation of these loving behaviors.

The first month of marriage is a unique and exciting time for newlyweds. It’s a period of adjustment, discovery, and laying the foundation for a strong, enduring relationship. Long-lasting couples understand the importance of this time and take specific steps to ensure their bond remains strong as they move forward together. Here’s a look at what successful couples often do during their first month of marriage to set the tone for a lifetime of happiness as shared by Delhi NCR’s top couple’s therapist Shivani Misri Sadhoo in this blog.

What things do long-lasting couples do during the first month of their marriage?

According to marriage counselor Shivani Sadhoo, things long-lasting couples do in their first month of marriage are:

Open Communication

One of the most critical aspects of a healthy marriage is communication. Long-lasting couples make it a priority to talk openly and honestly with each other. They share their thoughts, feelings, and concerns, ensuring that they are on the same page. This openness helps prevent misunderstandings and fosters a sense of trust and security in the relationship.

During the first month, these couples often establish communication patterns that will carry them through their marriage. Whether it’s setting aside time each day to talk about their day or discussing their future goals and dreams, they make communication a cornerstone of their relationship.

Spending Quality Time Together

The first month of marriage is a special time to build memories and deepen the bond. Long-lasting couples make the most of this period by spending quality time together. This doesn’t necessarily mean elaborate dates or expensive outings. It can be as simple as cooking together, taking walks, or enjoying a movie night at home.

By prioritizing time together, they strengthen their connection and create a strong foundation for their marriage. This quality time helps them understand each other better and reinforces the love and commitment they share.

Setting Boundaries and Expectations

Every couple comes into marriage with their own set of expectations and boundaries. Long-lasting couples understand the importance of discussing and setting these early on. Whether it’s about finances, household responsibilities, or social interactions, having clear boundaries helps prevent conflicts later on.

During the first month, successful couples take the time to discuss their expectations for the relationship. They talk about their roles, responsibilities, and how they will handle challenges that may arise. This proactive approach helps ensure that both partners feel respected and understood.

Fostering Physical Intimacy

Physical intimacy is a vital aspect of a marriage. Long-lasting couples prioritize this aspect of their relationship from the very beginning. They understand that physical affection is not just about physical intimacy but also about maintaining a close, loving connection.

During the first month, these couples often explore each other’s needs and desires, ensuring that both partners feel satisfied and cherished. They make time for intimacy, whether through affectionate gestures, cuddling, or simply being close to each other. This focus on physical connection helps build a strong emotional bond that lasts throughout their marriage.

Being Supportive and Encouraging

Marriage is a partnership, and long-lasting couples know the importance of supporting and encouraging each other. In the first month, they make a conscious effort to be each other’s biggest cheerleaders. Whether it’s in their personal goals, careers, or hobbies, they offer support and encouragement.

This mutual support helps build a strong foundation of trust and respect. It shows that they are committed to each other’s growth and happiness, which is crucial for a lasting relationship.

Maintaining a Sense of Humor

Marriage comes with its challenges, and long-lasting couples know the importance of maintaining a sense of humor. They don’t take themselves too seriously and find ways to laugh together, even when things don’t go as planned.

In the first month, these couples often face minor challenges as they adjust to married life. Instead of letting these moments cause tension, they use humor to diffuse potential conflicts and keep things light-hearted. This ability to laugh together strengthens their bond and makes it easier to navigate the ups and downs of marriage.

The first month of marriage is a crucial time for newlyweds to set the tone for their future together. Long-lasting couples understand this and take specific steps to ensure their relationship remains strong and healthy. By focusing on open communication, spending quality time together, setting boundaries, fostering physical intimacy, being supportive, and maintaining a sense of humor, they build a solid foundation for a lifetime of happiness. These actions, taken in the early days of marriage, pave the way for a fulfilling and enduring relationship

We all know that trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship. If you don’t trust your friend, for instance, then you’re likely to experience constant doubt and anxiety. And, if you don’t trust your partner in a relationship, then definitely there’s something wrong in that bond you share.

Whether it’s a friendship or a romantic relationship, trust is important for maintaining a sense of security and confidence in one another. But what happens when secrets and lies seep into this bond?

The impact can be devastating, leading to constant doubt, anxiety, and ultimately, the deterioration of the relationship itself. are without trust, even the strongest connections can crumble.

In what ways, do secrets and lies destroy relationships?

Leading couples therapist in Delhi and Gurgaon, Shivani Misri Sadhoo explains how secrets and lies can ruin relationships.

Breaks the Intimacy

When secrets and lies creep into a relationship, they erode the foundation of intimacy. Intimacy thrives on trust and authenticity, requiring partners to be open and vulnerable, both emotionally and physically. However, secrets create barriers, keeping one partner isolated in their pain while pushing the other away.

This avoidance often stems from guilt and leads to a deeper disconnection. Regardless of the size or nature of the secret, its presence can cause profound damage, undermining the closeness and trust that are essential for a healthy relationship.

Undermines the Trust

Secrets and lies can severely damage the trust in a relationship. When a partner is dishonest, it creates an atmosphere of suspicion and doubt, making it difficult to rebuild trust. The deceived partner may constantly worry about whether other secrets are hidden or if the deceit will happen again.

This ongoing insecurity and the need for constant reassurance only deepen the mistrust. Even seemingly small lies can erode confidence and lead to a lack of clarity about what is true, ultimately planting seeds of doubt and confusion. Trust, being a fundamental pillar of any relationship, can be significantly undermined when deception takes root.

You Get Trapped in a Vicious Cycle

Secrets often lead to a web of lies and omissions that can become difficult to manage. As you try to cover up one lie, you may end up telling more lies to hide the original one, creating a growing pile of deceit.

This cycle can trap you, making it harder to uncover the truth and causing more damage if and when the truth is revealed. Over time, you might even start believing your own lies, blurring the line between truth and deception.

The longer you keep secrets, the more complex and damaging the situation becomes, affecting both you and your relationship.

Communication Gap

Secrets and lies can seriously damage communication in a relationship. When one partner hides things or isn’t truthful, it prevents open and honest exchanges, which are essential for a healthy connection.

This lack of transparency leads to misunderstandings and confusion, as the true feelings and intentions are not being shared.

Over time, this breakdown in communication can create distance and make it hard for partners to connect on a deeper level, leaving them feeling isolated and misunderstood.

It Affects Your Self-Esteem

Secrets and lies in a relationship can deeply damage self-esteem by eroding trust and creating a foundation of deceit. When partners conceal the truth or manipulate facts, it undermines one’s sense of self-worth and security, leading to self-doubt and anxiety.

The constant fear of uncovering more lies or hidden truths can perpetuate a cycle of insecurity and emotional turmoil, diminishing confidence in oneself and the relationship. Now that you understand the impact of secrets and lies on relationships, it’s clear that maintaining honesty and openness is crucial.

Deception erodes trust, intimacy, and communication, creating a vicious cycle of doubt and insecurity. Prioritizing transparency is essential for nurturing and preserving healthy, fulfilling connections.

The internet has indeed revolutionized the world. Gone are the days when information was scarce and communication was slow. Today, with just a few clicks or taps, we can delve into a vast repository of knowledge on virtually any topic and connect with individuals worldwide in an instant. Social media, in particular, has streamlined the process of finding romantic partners, transcending geographical boundaries and time zones.

Yet, amid its convenience, social media has also become a breeding ground for relationship issues. The same platforms that bring couples closer together can also harbour hidden red flags that may signal trouble ahead.

To understand these social media red flags, let’s explore the perspective of top relationship expert and marriage counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo on the social media behaviours that should not be ignored in relationships.

What are the social media red flags in relationships?

Pretending to be single

When a partner behaves as if they’re single on social media—keeping relationship status hidden, avoiding posting photos together, or asking not to be tagged—it raises red flags. While some value privacy, constant avoidance of mentioning the relationship may indicate keeping options open or a lack of commitment. Genuine partners don’t hide relationships; secrecy may suggest dishonesty, embarrassment, or external pressure. Openness and acknowledgement are essential for healthy relationships.

Is your partner spending too much time on social media?

Spending excessive time on social media during dates can detract from romance, signalling that your partner’s focus isn’t on you. It may indicate addiction, where the virtual world overshadows real connections. Social media’s curated facade fosters dissatisfaction and can be an escape from unhappiness. Ignoring moments like sunsets hints at prioritizing screens over shared experiences. Recognizing these signs is crucial; excessive social media use can signal deeper issues affecting relationships and personal well-being.

Posting flirtatious remarks on others’ social media posts

Flirting with others on social media, especially through public comments, signals a lack of commitment and respect in a relationship. This behaviour undermines trust and emotional security, akin to infidelity. Engaging in such actions can lead to feelings of betrayal and hurt. Consistently leaving flirty comments on others’ posts raises doubts about one’s intentions and loyalty. It’s crucial to reflect on whether this behaviour aligns with your expectations for a healthy, monogamous relationship.

Not accepting social media requests

Many a time, refusing to accept a connection request on social media signals reluctance to integrate into each other’s lives. It suggests a lack of transparency and openness. Denying the request may indicate a desire to keep aspects of one’s life hidden, potentially signalling dishonesty or unfaithfulness. By rejecting the connection, the partner may be implying a disregard for the relationship’s importance or the other person’s feelings. Overall, refusal to connect on social media can raise concerns about trust and commitment.

Reluctant in posting your relationship online

Some people choose privacy, but when a partner avoids posting about the relationship on social media while being active otherwise, it raises concerns. The absence of acknowledgement could signal a lack of commitment or reluctance to publicly affirm the relationship. This omission may lead to feelings of exclusion and impact self-esteem negatively. Comparing one’s relationship to others’ flashy posts only emphasizes the authenticity of real-life connections.

Inconsistent behaviour or mismatch between online and offline conduct

When someone’s online persona is drastically different from their offline behaviour, it can raise concerns about authenticity and honesty in a relationship. While it’s common for people to curate their online presence to some extent, a significant inconsistency like this can be a red flag. For instance, imagine if your partner constantly shares posts about loyalty and trust online, but in reality, they frequently lie to you about their whereabouts or interactions with others. This mismatch between their digital facade and real-life actions could erode trust and breed resentment in the relationship over time.

Decodes Relationship Expert Shivani Sadhoo

If you thought that simply finding the perfect partner guarantees a happily ever after, think again. Love alone doesn’t shield us from moments of unhappiness or regret in marriage. As time passes, these moments can linger, potentially leading to the painful decision of separation or divorce. But what if I told you there’s a crucial factor that could significantly reduce the risk of divorce? According to relationship gurus and psychologists, timing matters just as much as compatibility—if you’re eyeing a divorce-free future, marry at the right age. Yes! Age matters!

Let’s find out more about this from India’s leading marriage counsellor and relationship expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo. Getting married too young can lead to divorce. But waiting too long, which isn’t as long as you might think, can also cause problems.

Why you shouldn’t marry in your teens or early 20s?

Scientifically speaking, the human brain isn’t fully developed until the mid-20s. So, you’re still figuring out a lot about yourself and what matters to you. The risks associated with early marriage are:

• Young people lack the experience and maturity to understand themselves and their goals in life. So, they rush into a relationship only to end up marrying the wrong person. This leads to a painful divorce.
• Early marriage often means starting a family sooner, which can pose financial challenges as young couples may not have stable careers or sufficient income to support themselves and any potential children.
• Marrying early can interrupt educational pursuits, limiting career opportunities and economic stability in the long run.
• Young couples may have unrealistic expectations about marriage and their partner, which can lead to disappointment and conflict when reality does not meet their expectations.

Why you shouldn’t wait too long to get married?

Studies reveal that marrying after 32 increases your risk of divorce approximately by 5% every year. The reasons could be:

• Baggage from Past Relationships: You might still have emotional stuff from previous relationships.
• Complex Family Situations: You might have kids from previous relationships, making things more complicated.
• Money Matters: Managing finances can be more challenging with established careers and responsibilities.
• Career Stress: Jobs can demand a lot of time and energy, which might strain your relationship.
• Midlife Crises: In your late 30s or 40s, you might start questioning your life choices, which can affect your marriage.
• Changing Priorities: As you get older, what you want from life might change, causing conflicts with your partner.
• Kids Leaving Home: When your kids grow up and move out, you might realize issues in your marriage that were hidden before.
• Trouble Communicating: Over time, it might become harder to talk openly with your partner, leading to misunderstandings.
• Cheating: Though it can happen at any age, affairs might be more common in your 40s, hurting your marriage.

What’s the right age to marry?

Studies reveal that getting married between the ages of 28 and 32 is linked with a lower chance of splitting up within the next five years. This age range seems to be just right for a few reasons.

• Maturity: People in this group tend to be more grown-up and less carried away by emotions. They’ve been through enough life experiences to handle tough situations better.
• Not so rigid: At the same time, they’re not too stuck in their own habits to compromise.
• Financial Stability: They often have enough money and stability to handle marriage without extra complications like ex-partners or kids from previous relationships.

So, all in all, this age range brings a good balance of maturity, flexibility, and financial security to make marriage more likely to last.

We must remember that there is no one-size-fits-all formula for marriage. While statistics suggest an optimal age range for tying the knot, individual circumstances, readiness, and compatibility remain crucial in ensuring a lasting and fulfilling