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marriage counselling tips by Shivani Misri Sadhoo

How to Improve Your Daily Communication with Your Wife?

Good communication is the foundation of a healthy and happy marriage. Yet, as daily responsibilities pile up—work, children, family obligations—it’s easy for couples to fall into a routine where meaningful conversation takes a backseat. If you’ve found yourself exchanging only the bare minimum with your wife discussing bills, chores, or logistics it’s time to pause and reflect. Strong, open communication helps build trust, deepen emotional intimacy, and prevent misunderstandings that can lead to bigger conflicts, reveals leading relationship expert and marriage counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo.

marriage counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo tips for Indian couples

Why Communication Is Important With Your Wife?

Communication is not just about talking—it’s about connecting. When you make an effort to listen and share with your wife truly, you nurture emotional closeness. Regular and meaningful communication allows both partners to express their needs, concerns, dreams, and even disappointments in a safe space.

Without this, small issues can develop into significant problems. Good communication reduces unnecessary tension, fosters teamwork, and keeps the bond between you strong even during life’s toughest challenges. For many couples, a lack of communication is at the heart of emotional distance and marital dissatisfaction.

Ways to Improve Your Daily Communication

  • Make Time for Conversations—No Matter How Busy You Are – Set aside at least 10-15 minutes each day where you both can talk without distractions. This could be during breakfast, after dinner, or before bedtime. The key is to be consistent. Even small, daily check-ins can make your wife feel heard and valued.
  • Listen to Understand, Not to React – When your wife shares something, focus on listening carefully rather than planning your response. Avoid interrupting or offering solutions right away. Sometimes, she may just need you to listen with empathy.
marriage counseling advice Indian couple - grow husband wife talks
  • Express Appreciation Regularly – Often, we overlook the power of small words like “thank you,” “I appreciate you,” or “you did a great job.” Expressing gratitude not only makes your wife feel seen but also strengthens positivity in the relationship.
  • Use “I” Statements Instead of “You” Statements – When discussing a sensitive topic, say “I feel hurt when…” rather than “You always make me feel…”. This reduces defensiveness and encourages healthier dialogue.
  • Be Honest but Kind – Open communication means being honest about your feelings, but always with respect. If something is bothering you, share it gently instead of letting resentment build.
  • Ask Open-Ended Questions – Rather than yes/no questions, ask “How was your day?” or “What’s on your mind lately?”. This invites richer conversations and shows genuine interest in her thoughts and feelings.
  • Limit Screen Time When Together– Put down your phone or switch off the TV when she’s talking. Giving her your undivided attention shows that you value what she has to say.
  • Learn Her Communication Style – Some people like to process out loud; others need time before they’re ready to talk. Understanding how your wife prefers to communicate can help you connect more effectively.

Improving daily communication doesn’t require grand gestures—it’s about small, consistent efforts that show your wife she matters to you. Over time, these habits can bring warmth, closeness, and resilience to your marriage.

relationship advice - platonic relationship or friendship

Is it a Platonic Relationship or Just Friendship? How to Identify

In a world where relationship labels are becoming more fluid, it’s easy to feel confused about the nature of your bond with someone. You may feel deeply connected to a person — emotionally safe, truly understood — yet there’s no romantic or sexual involvement. Is it just friendship, or something more meaningful, yet still non-romantic? That’s where the concept of a platonic relationship comes in. Understanding this can help you navigate your feelings and define your relationship better, as explained by eminent relationship and marriage counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo here.

What is a Platonic Relationship?

A platonic relationship is an emotionally close connection between two people that is not based on physical or romantic attraction. The term comes from the ideas of the Greek philosopher Plato, who believed that the highest form of love transcends physical desire and is rooted in mutual respect, intellectual connection, and deep emotional bonding.

This kind of relationship can exist between any two people, regardless of gender or orientation, and is defined by care, trust, and emotional intimacy without the complexities of romance or sexual tension.

Platonic Relationship vs. Friendship: What's the Difference?

Platonic Relationship vs. Friendship: What’s the Difference?

At first glance, platonic relationships and friendships may seem similar. Both involve companionship, trust, and shared moments. However, platonic bonds tend to carry more emotional weight and consistency than regular friendships.

In a typical friendship, people may connect based on shared activities, environments, or interests. These connections can be casual, and while trust exists, the emotional depth may not always run very deep. Friendships can fade over time as circumstances change.

A platonic relationship, however, tends to hold stronger emotional significance. You may find yourself turning to that person for life advice, sharing your innermost thoughts, or relying on them during difficult times. There’s often a level of priority given to this bond, even if it’s never romantic. It’s like having a life partner — just without the romance.

How to Identify if It’s Platonic or Just Friendship?

If you’re unsure which category your relationship falls into, consider the emotional dynamics. Do you feel emotionally safe and fully yourself around this person? Are they the first one you think of when you’re going through something important, good or bad? Do you value their presence in your life regardless of circumstances, and does the bond remain strong even without constant communication?

Also, notice if there’s mutual clarity. Platonic relationships often involve a silent understanding that the connection is deep and meaningful, but not romantic. There’s no hidden agenda, no mixed signals, and no pressure to turn it into something else.

Can Platonic Relationships Evolve Into Romance?

They can, but not always. Sometimes emotional closeness can lay the foundation for romantic feelings, especially if both people begin to see each other in a new light. However, many platonic relationships remain beautifully non-romantic throughout life, offering emotional nourishment without any complications.

If feelings do change on either side, honest communication becomes key. Ignoring shifting emotions can lead to confusion, distance, or even the end of the bond.

Platonic relationships are often underrated, yet they can be some of the most fulfilling connections in life. If you’re lucky enough to have someone who supports you emotionally, respects your boundaries, and remains consistently present, without any romantic strings, then you’re experiencing the rare beauty of platonic love. Understanding and honouring this kind of bond can enrich your emotional well-being and add a layer of stability and depth to your life that few relationships can offer.

Shivani Misri Sadhoo marriage counseling for Indian couples

Marriage Counseling That Works

Signs You’ve Found a Therapist Who Truly Understands Couples

Let’s face it — no relationship is perfect. Even the strongest marriages can hit rough patches where communication breaks down, resentment builds, and emotional distance creeps in. When couples start to feel more like roommates or adversaries than partners, marriage counselling often becomes the next step. But walking into a therapist’s office is just the beginning. What really determines the success of therapy isn’t just the willingness of the couple — it’s whether the therapist truly gets both individuals, and more importantly, the relationship between them.

Not every therapist is skilled in working with couples. Some may apply individual therapy tools to a joint problem, while others may unintentionally take sides or fail to understand the emotional dance happening beneath the surface. That’s why finding the right therapist — someone who understands how couples work, fight, connect, and grow — is crucial. This is what India’s best couples’ therapist and marriage counsellor, Shivani Misri Sadhoo, has to say via this article.

Signs You've Found a Therapist Who Truly Understands Couples

How Do You Know You’ve Found a Therapist Who Truly Understands Couples?

It’s not always obvious at first, but there are some clear signs you can look for — and feel — during your sessions, says Delhi’s top Gottman Certified Level 3 couples counselor Shivani Sadhoo.

They Focus on the Relationship, Not Just Two Individuals

A therapist who understands couples doesn’t just listen to each partner separately — they tune into the dynamic between you. They pay attention to how you talk to and about each other, how conflict patterns unfold, and how emotional needs are (or aren’t) being met. Instead of taking sides, they help each person see how they contribute to the cycle — and how to shift it together.

Both Partners Feel Heard and Safe

You should never feel like one person is being favoured or blamed. A skilled couples therapist creates a space where both people feel respected, validated, and safe to be vulnerable — even when the truth is hard to hear. If you leave sessions feeling ganged up on or ignored, that’s a red flag. The best therapists are emotionally attuned and make room for both voices, even when the pain is loud.

They Help You Understand the “Why” Beneath the Fights

Arguments about dishes or text messages are rarely about the dishes or the phone. A therapist who understands couples will gently guide you to the deeper layers — the fear of rejection, the longing for connection, the pain of unmet needs. They’re not just refereeing fights; they’re helping you understand what those fights are really about.

Marriage Counseling That Works: Signs You've Found a Therapist Who Truly Understands Couples

Progress Feels Measurable — Even if It’s Small

Good couples therapy doesn’t mean all problems disappear overnight. But you should start noticing small shifts: less reactive fights, moments of emotional closeness, more awareness of triggers, or new tools to manage conflict. A therapist who knows what they’re doing will help you track that growth and keep moving forward, not just recycle the same complaints week after week.

They Challenge You — Lovingly

A therapist who truly understands couples doesn’t just nod and sympathise. They challenge your assumptions, call out your defence mechanisms, and gently hold up a mirror — all with the goal of helping you reconnect, not criticise. Growth can be uncomfortable, and the right therapist doesn’t shy away from that discomfort. Instead, they help you work through it with compassion.

Shivani Misir Sadhoo marriage therapist Who Truly Understands Couples

They Work to Help You Stay Together — Not Just “Manage the Breakup”

One of the clearest signs that you’ve found a therapist who truly understands couples is their commitment to helping you stay together, not subtly steering you toward separation. While a good therapist will never force a relationship to continue if it’s unhealthy or unsafe, they also don’t treat struggles as automatic signs that the marriage is doomed.

Instead, they come from a place of hope, assuming that most relationships can heal with the right tools, effort, and understanding. They explore what brought you together, what still exists between you, and what can be rebuilt. They believe in reconciliation where it’s possible and help you fight for your relationship, not just within it. If your therapist seems more invested in helping you reconnect than just exit gracefully, that’s a strong sign you’re with someone who truly understands the heart of couples work.

Marriage counselling can be one of the most transformative experiences in a relationship, but only when you’re in the hands of someone who genuinely understands the complexity of couplehood. The right therapist doesn’t just offer advice; they become a guide, helping you and your partner rediscover each other, repair emotional wounds, and rebuild the connection that brought you together in the first place.

If you find yourself leaving sessions feeling heard, challenged, and more hopeful than when you walked in, chances are you’ve found the right match. And in therapy, just like in love, the right match makes all the difference.

Shivani Misri Sadhoo best certified Cognitive Behavioral Therapy CBT therapist in India

What is Positive Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)?

In today’s fast-paced and often stressful world, mental health has taken centre stage. More people are turning to therapy as a way to better understand themselves, manage their emotions, and lead more fulfilling lives. One of the most well-known and widely used approaches is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). But as therapy continues to evolve, a newer approach known as Positive CBT has begun to gain attention. So, what exactly is Positive CBT, and how does it differ from traditional CBT? This is explained by India’s top marriage counsellor and CBT Therapist Shivani Misri Sadhoo.

Shivani Misri Sadhoo best certified Cognitive Behavioral Therapy CBT therapist in India

What is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)?

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, or CBT, is a structured, short-term therapy that focuses on the connection between thoughts, emotions, and behaviours. It’s based on the idea that negative patterns of thinking can lead to emotional distress and unhelpful behaviours. By identifying and challenging these patterns, individuals can learn to think more clearly and behave more constructively.

For instance, someone struggling with self-doubt might constantly think, “I always mess things up.” CBT would help them recognise this thought, question its accuracy, and replace it with something more realistic, such as, “I’ve made mistakes, but I’ve also done things well.”

CBT is highly effective for treating conditions like anxiety, depression, PTSD, and more. Its structured, goal-oriented nature makes it easy to apply in both short- and long-term therapy.

What is Positive CBT?

While traditional CBT focuses on correcting what’s wrong, Positive CBT takes a different route—it builds on what’s already right. It draws from the field of positive psychology and aims to help individuals not only reduce distress but also thrive emotionally and psychologically.

In Positive CBT, the therapist helps the client identify personal strengths, values, and moments of success. Rather than focusing solely on symptoms or dysfunction, it emphasises hope, growth, and possibility. Clients might explore questions like: What does my best self look like? What brings me meaning? When have I felt proud or capable?

The same techniques used in CBT—such as journaling, thought records, and goal setting—are still used, but they’re reframed through a more optimistic and forward-looking lens.

How does Positive CBT help couples therapy?

Positive CBT is especially impactful in the context of couples therapy. Relationships often suffer when partners focus too much on problems—what’s going wrong, what’s missing, or who’s at fault. While addressing conflicts is important, Positive CBT adds another layer by helping couples rediscover what’s working.

In couples therapy, this approach encourages partners to recognise each other’s strengths, revisit shared values, and rebuild emotional connection. Instead of getting stuck in cycles of blame or criticism, couples are guided to focus on gratitude, empathy, and shared positive experiences.

Therapists might ask questions like:

  • What first drew you to your partner?
  • What strengths do you bring to the relationship?
  • When do you feel most connected or supported by each other?

By reinforcing the positive aspects of the relationship and building on shared successes, couples are often better able to handle challenges together. It transforms the tone of therapy from fixing a broken bond to strengthening a meaningful one.

Positive Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is a powerful evolution of traditional CBT. While classic CBT focuses on managing symptoms and solving problems, Positive CBT goes a step further—it empowers people to lead richer, more meaningful lives.

Whether applied to individuals seeking personal growth or couples looking to reconnect, Positive CBT promotes resilience, optimism, and deeper relationships. It helps us not only cope with the world as it is, but also shape it into the one we want to live in—starting from the inside out.

Safeguard Children During Couple Arguments relationship advice

How To Safeguard Children During Couple Arguments?

We do not live in a perfect world, and no relationship is flawless. It is quite natural for all relationships to go through ups and downs. Conflicts and disagreements are bound to happen, even in the most loving families.

According to psychologists, the fact that parents fight is not the real issue—what truly matters is how they resolve those fights, with maturity and a balanced point of view. When parents manage their disagreements with calm, maturity, and mutual respect, some arguments can actually be constructive and can teach kids valuable lessons about communication and compromise.

Children are vulnerable. They are innocent. For them, parents are the primary source of safety and stability. So, when they see their parents yelling or arguing, they feel insecure and scared. This kind of toxic environment can leave an indelible mark on their young minds—sometimes with long-term psychological consequences.

How To Safeguard Children During Couple Arguments?

How can You Safeguard Your Children during Couple Arguments?

Shivani Misri Sadhoo, one of the top couples therapists in Delhi, shares a few tips and tricks on how to protect children when couples argue.

1. Don’t Raise Your Voice

Parenting is tough, no doubt, and an argument between a couple can’t always be avoided. However, how we handle these arguments matters most, especially in front of our children. When voices are raised, the impact on a child can be deeper than we imagine. They may not always show it, but they’re soaking in every word, every tone, and every reaction. A loud argument can leave them feeling unsafe or anxious, and over time, they may begin to mirror that behavior.

Kids don’t just hear us—they learn from us. If we shout when we’re upset, they may grow up thinking that’s how stress or disagreement is supposed to be handled. But if we can stay calm, even when things get heated, we’re teaching them strength, patience, and emotional stability. It’s not about being perfect parents—it’s about being conscious ones, especially when little ears and hearts are in the room.

2. Maintain Privacy

A good way to handle arguments between couples is to keep them behind closed doors. Children feel uncomfortable and emotionally unsafe when their parents fight in front of them, even unintentionally. They often have difficulty understanding the full context of disagreements, which can cause confusion, fear, or even a false sense of responsibility.

The privacy of the argument doesn’t make the argument harmless, but it shields the children from the emotional baggage of the argument. While kids can still sense tension in the air, watching it unfold directly is far more damaging. The separation of their children from conflict allows them to feel secure and emotionally stable while also allowing their parents to resolve issues without involving their children.

3. Keep Children Away From The Fights

Keeping kids out of a heated debate is one of the best things parents can do. Children should never be forced to mediate disputes between their parents or be pulled into adult disputes. Children who witness violent arguments, particularly if they feel compelled to choose a side, may become confused, emotionally conflicted, and even hold themselves accountable for the hostility at home.

No child should have to bear the burden of their parents’ problems or feel bad about something that is out of their control. They should be able to grow up without the emotional upheaval of adult arguments, in an environment where they feel safe, secure, and unconditionally loved by both parents.

4. Be Frank With Your Child

Make sure to have a heart-to-heart chat with your child, gently explaining that not all arguments are bad. Let them know that sometimes parents do fight, but that doesn’t mean something is wrong. In fact, some disagreements can lead to healthy conversations and help people understand each other better.

Reassure them that even when people argue, it doesn’t take away the love and care they have for one another. Tell them, “We still love you, and we still love each other.” It’s important to stay calm and help them see that just like they might have small fights with friends at school and then make up later, grown-ups do the same.

5. Seek Professional Guidance

Sometimes, it takes an outside perspective to truly understand what’s going wrong truly. If you’ve fought with your partner in front of your child, don’t be too hard on yourself—it happens. But if these arguments are becoming frequent or turning into shouting matches filled with insults, swearing, or slammed doors, it might be time to seek professional help.

No parent wants their child to carry the emotional weight of constant conflict at home. Counselling or therapy can offer a safe space to work through issues, using practical, proven methods to help couples communicate better and find healthier ways to handle disagreements.

Children deserve a safe, loving environment in which to grow. When parents stay calm, sort out issues in private, and keep little ones away from heated moments, they create a safer space for their children. Reassuring kids with love and honesty and seeking help when needed shows real strength. It’s okay to argue—just protect those tender hearts through it all.

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What Is Tik Tok’s Trending Orange Peel Theory to Know if Your Partner Loves You?

Many a time, people in love wonder how much their partner truly loves them. Can love be measured, just like we measure physical quantities like weight, height, or time?

The answer is no. Love is an emotion—a deeply personal and abstract feeling that cannot be quantified by tangible metrics. It is not about how many candlelight dinners you share, the number of gifts exchanged, or even how often the words “I love you” are said.

Love is far more profound and complex than that. Small, meaningful gestures often reveal the depth of a relationship.

Helping your partner with household chores, taking on tasks they dislike just to make their day easier, or showing empathy in moments of stress can signify deep affection. Interestingly, a simple act like peeling an orange can become a litmus test of love. 

Yes, you read that right! The Orange Peel Theory, a concept currently trending on TikTok, apparently tells you how much your partner loves you.

Let’s find out more about this theory from India’s top marriage counselor and relationship expert, Shivani Misri Sadhoo.

What is it about the Orange Peel Theory?

The “orange peel theory,” a concept that has captivated social media, beautifully illustrates the essence of a healthy relationship through the lens of small, everyday acts of care.

Imagine this: you’re seated at the kitchen table, staring at an orange, wishing someone would save you the trouble of peeling it. You casually ask your partner, and their response—whether an effortless “Sure, love” or “Do it yourself” — speaks volumes.

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It’s not about the orange or the task itself; it’s about their willingness to make your life easier, even in trivial moments. This simple act reflects a deeper emotional truth: love isn’t measured by grand gestures but by the quiet, thoughtful ways someone shows they care.

Whether it’s brewing your favorite cup of tea after a long day or offering to handle a chore you dislike, these small actions signal empathy, understanding, and a readiness to meet your needs. At its core, the orange peel theory reminds us that the strength of a relationship lies in the details, where love thrives in the mundane.

How does it help people?

The “orange peel theory” emphasizes small, thoughtful gestures over grand declarations of affection. It highlights attunement—being present and noticing subtle ways to brighten your partner’s day, like peeling an orange for them.

These simple acts of service can strengthen intimacy and self-esteem without words. The theory also helps de-escalate conflicts through care and attention when words fail. Gaining popularity for its relatability, ease of application, and immediate feedback, it offers a practical approach to fostering deeper connections in today’s fast-paced world.

Love Languages

The Orange Peel Theory helps explore how you and your partner give and receive love. Love languages include:

·       Gift-giving

·       Quality time

·       Acts of service

·       Physical touch

·       Words of affirmation

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Shared experiences & emotional security. For example sharing an orange can highlight a partner’s preference for quality time.

Communication Styles

The theory encourages understanding communication methods and improving them and asks meaningful questions to uncover how you both communicate and your goals.

Areas to Work On

It helps identify strengths and areas for improvement in the relationship. and celebrate the good and discuss areas that need change.

Limitations of this Theory

– Oversimplifies relationship dynamics by focusing on one act, ignoring deeper aspects like communication and conflict resolution. 

– Assumes everyone expresses love the same way, overlooking other love languages like quality time or words of affirmation. 

– Small actions may be misinterpreted, leading to misunderstandings about a partner’s feelings. 

– Encourages unhealthy “testing” of love, creating insecurity instead of trust. 

– Sets unrealistic expectations, ignoring the need for compromise and respecting individual boundaries.

Love isn’t one-size-fits-all but thrives in simple gestures. The Orange Peel Theory shows that love often lies in small acts, like peeling an orange without hesitation. Such thoughtful moments highlight care and connection.

If your partner doesn’t do this, it doesn’t mean they love you less—love is expressed in many ways. Embracing these differences fosters stronger, more meaningful relationships.

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Strengthening Digital Intimacy in Relationships

Gone are the days when couples used to write letters to each other, pouring their hearts out on paper, with every word carrying the weight of their emotions. Those heartfelt messages took days, sometimes weeks, to arrive, and the anticipation of receiving them made the connection even more precious. Today, in our fast-paced digital age, relationships have shifted dramatically. Quick texts, emojis, and video calls have become the new language of love. While this instant communication has brought unparalleled convenience, it has also introduced a new challenge—how do we maintain deep emotional connections in a world dominated by fleeting interactions?

This is where the concept of digital intimacy comes in. Digital intimacy is not just about staying connected through devices; it’s about using technology to nurture, deepen, and sustain the emotional bonds that hold relationships together. If done right, it can bring couples closer than ever. But how do you strengthen digital intimacy in a way that feels real and fulfilling? 

Eminent marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo in Delhi NCR shares a few tips and tricks for strengthening Digital Intimacy in Relationships.

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What is Digital Intimacy?

In simple words, digital intimacy is the emotional closeness and connection people build through digital platforms. It involves sharing thoughts, feelings, and expressions of love via screens, creating meaningful bonds and communication despite physical distance. This helps individuals to nurture relationships, share personal experiences, and maintain a sense of togetherness in the digital space.

Pros and Cons of Digital Intimacy

Some of the pros of digital intimacy are:

  • It enables communication across cities and countries with ease. 
  • It offers flexibility and convenience, keeping people connected despite busy schedules. 
  • It allows creative expression through surprise gifts, playlists, and video calls. 

Cons of digital intimacy:

Some of the cons of digital intimacy are:

  • It can feel shallow, lacking facial expressions and tone of voice. 
  • It raises privacy concerns, making sharing personal details feel vulnerable.

Tips to Strengthen Digital Intimacy

A few tips may help to bolster digital intimacy.

Meaningful Communication

Just because communication happens virtually doesn’t mean emotions are any less real. There are plenty of ways to express your feelings and connect with your loved ones, even from a distance.

Words Matter: Thoughtful words can carry deep emotion. A carefully crafted message or a simple “I love you” can leave a lasting impact, showing your affection in a meaningful way.

Voice and Tone: Whether through voice messages or calls, the tone and inflection of your voice can convey warmth, care, and love, even when you are miles apart.

Video Calls: The ability to see each other’s facial expressions and body language during video calls helps recreate the in-person connection, making the interaction feel more authentic and personal.

Emojis and Stickers: While they may seem small, emojis and digital stickers can be powerful tools to express joy, love, or empathy in a fun and light hearted way.

Consistency and Thoughtfulness: Even the simplest gestures—like checking in or sharing a fond memory—can go a long way in maintaining a strong emotional bond.

Know Each Other Better

In today’s world, technology bridges the gap between couples, making physical distance feel less significant. Virtual communication, like late-night video calls and heartfelt texts, builds deep emotional connections. The absence of daily distractions allows couples to explore each other’s thoughts and feelings more profoundly. This intentional time together strengthens the bond, making the relationship more meaningful despite the miles apart.

Gifts and Surprises

Sending virtual gifts—like an e-card, a playlist of songs, or a heartfelt message—adds a special touch that shows just how much you care.

Digital Alertness

At the end of the day, your safety matters most. Being digitally alert is key to strengthening digital intimacy. In a world where transparency builds trust, it’s important to set boundaries for social media and online interactions. Respect each other’s space, avoid expecting constant replies, and address discomfort calmly to foster trust and healthy connections.

In a nutshell, digital intimacy is about leveraging technology to nurture emotional closeness in relationships. Meaningful communication, deep understanding, thoughtful surprises, and digital alertness are key to strengthening this bond. By blending creativity with care, couples can transcend physical distance, fostering genuine connections in today’s digital age.

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What Is Sledging? Understanding A Growing Toxic Dating Trend Among Gen Z

Dating can swing from exhilarating to downright frustrating. Among the many toxic trends in the modern dating world—ghosting, breadcrumbing, and zombieing—“sledging” stands out for its premeditated and manipulative nature. Rooted in a lack of genuine intent, sledging involves someone deliberately entering a relationship with plans to end it after a specific time, often right after the holiday season.

Let’s dive into this harmful trend, with insights from India’s top couples therapist and marriage counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo, and explore how you can protect yourself from falling victim to it.

What Is Sledging in Dating?

Sledging refers to being strung along in a relationship solely to serve the other person’s temporary needs. The term captures the image of dragging someone emotionally, like pulling a sledge through the winter, with no intention of continuing the relationship after the holidays. Sledgers often decide months in advance to break up, wasting their partner’s time and leaving them blindsided when the relationship abruptly ends. Unlike the cozy bonds of cuffing season, sledging is purely for convenience and leaves the victim hurt and unfulfilled.

Sledging Toxic Dating Trend Among Gen Z

Why Do People Engage in Sledging?

Seeking Winter Companionship – Winter can feel isolating, and the festive season amplifies loneliness for many. To avoid being alone, some seek temporary relationships to fill the emotional void, valuing short-term comfort over long-term commitment.

Social Pressures During Festive Events – Holidays come with numerous social gatherings, and being single at these events can feel awkward. Many enter relationships to have a “plus one” for parties, family dinners, or holiday photos, prioritizing appearances over authenticity.

Fear of Commitment – The perks of companionship without emotional investment appeal to those wary of long-term commitments due to past heartaches or fear of vulnerability.

Ego Boost and Validation – For some, the thrill of attracting a partner and basking in their affection serves as an ego boost. The relationship itself is less important than the validation they derive from being desired.

Societal Expectations – Pressure from society—and social media—to appear in a relationship during the holidays drives people to engage in flings for show, rather than pursuing meaningful connections.

Avoiding Emotional Vulnerability
By keeping relationships superficial, sledgers shield themselves from the risks of deep emotional connections, enjoying the benefits of a relationship while keeping their feelings at arm’s length.

Red Flags of Sledging

  • Mixed Signals – Early attention and communication wane over time, leaving interactions feeling shallow and routine.
  • Reluctance to Discuss the Future – Your partner avoids making long-term plans, signalling a lack of serious intent.
  • Focus on Instant Gratification – Sledgers prioritize immediate pleasure, showing little interest in building a lasting connection.
  • Lack of Emotional Depth – Superficial conversations and avoidance of vulnerability suggest emotional detachment.
  • Over-the-Top Affection Early On – An initial flood of affection (love bombing) may mask manipulative intentions.

How to Protect Yourself from Sledging in a Relationship?

  • Seek Authentic Connections – Focus on shared interests and mutual goals to foster genuine relationships.
  • Communicate Openly – Be honest about your relationship expectations and encourage the same from your partner.
  • Avoid Treating or Being Treated as a Placeholder – Refuse to settle for a relationship built on convenience or seasonal loneliness.
  • Resist Societal Pressures – Being single is a valid choice; your worth isn’t tied to your relationship status.
  • Set Boundaries – Discuss needs and goals early. If there’s a misalignment, agree on a respectful exit strategy.
  • Embrace Being Single – Singlehood can provide opportunities for personal growth and self-confidence, laying the foundation for future healthy relationships. It’s vital to focus on relationships rooted in authenticity rather than fleeting convenience. Sledging might seem like a harmless trend, but it creates emotional harm and robs people of opportunities for real connection. By prioritizing open communication, self-respect, and emotional honesty, you can protect yourself and build meaningful, lasting bonds.
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How to Know If Your Husband Has Slept with Someone Else?

A marriage is built on love, trust, and companionship, but when your partner’s behavior shifts unexpectedly, it can raise unsettling questions. If your husband seems distant, preoccupied, or different, you may start to wonder whether he has been unfaithful. Here are some key signs that might indicate a change in your relationship.

How do you know if your husband has slept with someone else?

According to one of India’s leading marriage counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo, you may look out for some of the signs. These are.

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Sudden Increase in Busyness

If your husband’s schedule is suddenly packed with work trips, late nights, or unexpected weekend getaways, it might be a red flag. While occasional busy periods can be normal, a persistent pattern of “working late” without a clear reason could hint at a hidden relationship.

When his excuses start to feel excessive—like last-minute presentations or surprise overtime without any job changes—this shift in priorities might indicate he’s spending time with someone else.

Lack of Emotional Intimacy

Emotional distance can be a strong indicator of infidelity. If your husband becomes less open about his feelings, avoids deep conversations, or no longer expresses affection, it may be a sign he’s emotionally connecting with someone else.

This withdrawal often extends to physical intimacy, as guilt from an affair might make him feel uncomfortable or distant around you. True connection requires emotional honesty and presence; without these, your relationship may start lacking the closeness that signifies commitment.

Increased Secrecy

When a partner becomes unusually secretive, it can suggest they have something to hide. If your husband starts acting protective of his phone or social media accounts—keeping his phone face down or muting notifications—it might signal he’s involved with someone else.

While everyone deserves personal space, this level of secrecy in a marriage can be concerning, especially if he previously had no issue sharing details with you. If his behavior changes suddenly and he becomes guarded about his technology, it could indicate he’s trying to cover up an affair.

Frequent Late Nights

If your husband, who rarely used to go out, starts having more frequent night outs, this could be cause for concern. His usual explanations of “working late” or “hanging out with friends” might start to seem less convincing as these nights out increase in frequency.

You may notice him coming home later or being more secretive with his phone. These changes, especially if they feel out of character, may hint at the presence of someone new in his life. Trusting your instincts in these situations can be important, as they often pick up on subtle changes in your relationship.

Unfamiliar Scents

This might seem dramatic, but unexpected changes in your husband’s scent can be a subtle clue. If he comes home smelling of an unfamiliar perfume or a different soap, it may raise suspicions, especially if there’s no logical explanation like a workout or a long day at work.

While this alone doesn’t confirm infidelity, it can be a sign of intimacy with someone else, prompting you to question what’s happening in your relationship.

While these signs don’t definitively prove infidelity, they can indicate that something is off in your marriage. It’s essential to trust your instincts and address any concerns through open communication with your partner. Emotional honesty and transparency are key to maintaining a healthy, faithful relationship. If you notice these patterns consistently, it may be time to have an honest conversation with your husband about the state of your relationship.

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How to Move Out of the Friend Zone?

The friend zone happens when one person develops romantic feelings, while the other sees them only as a friend. This often occurs due to a lack of clear romantic intent or chemistry from the beginning, leading the other person to perceive the relationship as purely platonic.

Factors such as comfort, emotional dependence, or fear of ruining the friendship can also keep someone in the friend zone. Sometimes, it’s because the other person doesn’t feel a romantic connection, even if they value the friendship deeply. Miscommunication or not expressing feelings early on can further solidify this dynamic.

What are some of the ways to move out of the friend zone?

Here are some practical steps to help you move out of the friend zone as explained by leading couples’ therapists in Delhi NCR Shivani Misri Sadhoo in this blog.

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Understand Why You’re in the Friend Zone

Before taking any action, it’s crucial to understand why you might be in the friend zone. This often happens when the other person sees you as a reliable friend, but there’s no romantic spark. You might not have made your romantic interest clear, or perhaps they don’t see you in a romantic light because of the dynamic you’ve created.

Step: Reflect on how the relationship has developed and what role you’ve played in it. Ask yourself if you’ve unintentionally sent out “friend-only” vibes.

Shift the Dynamic

One of the main reasons people remain in the friend zone is because they haven’t established romantic or flirtatious chemistry. To move out of the friend zone, you need to subtly change how the other person sees you. This could be done through subtle flirting, complimenting them in ways that go beyond friendship, or finding ways to create more intimate and romantic situations.

Step: Start small by complimenting them in a more personal, genuine way: “You look amazing today,” or “I love how passionate you are about your goals.” This signals your interest without being too forward.

Take Care of Your Own Life

Sometimes, people end up in the friend zone because they become too available and predictable. To break out of that cycle, you need to focus on yourself and your own life. Pursue your own interests, meet new people, and create a life that’s fulfilling without relying on their attention. This can make you more attractive because confidence and independence are key qualities that spark romantic interest.

Step: Invest time in hobbies, personal growth, and new experiences. Show them that you have a life beyond friendship.

Be Open About Your Feelings

At some point, if you really want to move out of the friend zone, you will have to express your romantic feelings. It’s important to do this in a calm and respectful way, without pressuring the other person. Let them know that you value the friendship, but you also have deeper feelings for them and want to be honest.

Step: When you feel the time is right, have an honest conversation. Keep it light: “I’ve been thinking about us, and I realize I have feelings for you. I just wanted to be upfront, but I also value our friendship no matter what.”

Respect Their Decision

The reality is, after you express your feelings, they might not feel the same way. If that happens, it’s important to respect their decision and not try to pressure or guilt them into a relationship. If they only want to remain friends, you’ll have to decide whether that’s something you’re okay with, or if it’s better to distance yourself.

Step: If they say they don’t feel the same way, respond with grace and respect. Don’t burn bridges or become bitter. Accept their feelings and move on if necessary.

Moving out of the friend zone is not a guaranteed process, and it requires patience, self-awareness, and a willingness to take risks. Sometimes, it’s possible to transition from a friendship to a romantic relationship, but it’s important to remain respectful of the other person’s feelings. Ultimately, whether or not you succeed, focusing on building a life you love and maintaining healthy relationships is always a win.