Best Marriage Counselling Services in Delhi | Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo

If not everything but physical intimacy is an important part of marriage for a woman. These days, though, plenty of married women see sex as a discounted duty.

First of all, let’s address why not having sex in a marriage is a concern.

Marriage is more than a contract it’s a pledge. This means it’s not only a legally binding act, but it is also a complete personal act: emotional, mental, spiritual, physical and sexual. Therefore, all these components go into the relationship. Physical intimacy is an integral component. A marriage without sex is incomplete and robs both partners of all nature has to offer.

Intimacy between a husband and wife is special. It’s that one needs that only one other person gets to meet. And it is bought by a ring and a vow. This means that when a partner refuses sex they are giving an ultimate no as there should not be other alternatives available. Each intimate sexual experience where both people give themselves and to their spouse renews and refreshes that connection. The aim here is addressing when wives turn away from sex within a marriage This is a painful way of rejection in a society which judges women’s worth based on their appearance and shame for men who are not as sexually driven as some other men.

In this article, one of India’s best Marriage Counselor, Relationship Expert, and Founder of Saarthi Counselling Services, Shivani Misri Sadhoo talks about reasons many married women lose interest in physical intimacy.

It Seems Optional

Women tend to be overwhelmingly busy in today’s society. Many of you work, manage finances, raise children, do exercise, shopping, cleaning, care for extended family, travel for work. Thus, become exhausted by day’s end that there’s little left of you– emotionally, mentally, physically or sexually. And husbands are often left to themselves. There are just so many demands that sex, since it looks optional, often slips down the ladder of priorities. Several wives don’t see sex as vital to a marriage.

Exhausted Out

Several young wives complain that they are completely sexed out. They had so much sex in their teens and twenties that they don’t want or need it now. And in the context of sex as just a physical act, that can make sense. But in marriage, it is not designed to be merely physical.  If you’re not in a committed relationship, and if you use protection, you can sleep with anyone, whenever. For this to be real, people learn to separate the emotional and spiritual side of their physical needs, leaving just the physical. This makes a dilemma for the marriages that often takes place years later. Healthy sex in a marriage asks physical, sexual and emotional vulnerability. Once a person turns off the emotions of getting physical, it’s difficult to turn it back on.

Resentment

Many women crave tenderness, help and time with their partner, and don’t get it. So when the husband turns up for the first time at day’s end wanting sex, the wife remembers all that he has not done for her of late.

Selfishness

Most people are self-centric. If you don’t want to, you won’t. If you don’t feel like it, then you don’t. In a successful marriage, there’s no space for selfishness. Women who experience their partner being selfish looks to become self-protective. And when one partner demands and does not give, it can become manipulative and abusive. Self-protective partners withdraw and withhold. Generally, it begins with emotional detachment, then at the intimacy level. Selfishness belittles, separates and ultimately divides a relationship. Relationships collapse when one or both of the partner is selfish.

Body

Many women do not always feel pretty, and that can get in the way of being getting physically intimate. A woman’s body along with her mind and emotions goes through a cycle of changes in a lifetime. Pregnancy, loss, stress, hormones can all change skin and weight. Women who see themselves as only how they appear mostly have difficulty offering their bodies sexually to their husbands. Also, there is a common myth in our culture that sex after a specific age is seen as not as fulfilling, especially as women deal with changes to their bodies and sexual response cycle following menopause.

Why Physical Intimacy In Marriage Is Worth It

It is designed for marriage, and marriage is designed to get physical love. It is something Nature created to put life and pleasure into a marriage. In a safe, developing relationship it’s not an obligation to perform, but a purposeful, intentional desire to grow closer to each other.

It is a complete drag to feel like you are taken for granted. Sadly, this happens far too often, particularly in relationships. One of the partners just naturally begins to overlook what the other contributes. It is easy to ignore how someone else impacts your character and overall success. But it’s absolutely a dishonest and foolish thing to do.

Though it’s not exactly rocket science, the expert clues are a perfect set of jumping-off points for some introspection on your partnership. If any or entire strike a familiar chord, it could be time for a serious chat.

In this article, Marriage Counselor, Relationship Expert, and Founder of Saarthi Counselling Services Shivani Misri Sadhoo tell here are the possible signs your partner is taking you for granted.

They Do Not Seek Your Advice

It is natural to seek advice from those who you love and care about. Someone who values your true importance in their life will be certain to seek your input before making any major decisions. Failing to do so is a sign that a person has started ignoring your influence, thereby taking you and your perspective for granted.

They Only Text When They Want Something

If your partner is only texting you sparingly especially when they want something. This is a sign you are being taken for granted. While this might be a good method of communication for casual relationships, it’s completely inappropriate for a committed one. More like a booty call, the messenger is hoping you to respond on their time, not taking into consideration your own.

They Stop Grooming

Certainly, the honeymoon might be over, but this is no excuse to ignore the physical component of your relationship. If your partner gets lazy in the grooming department but still expects sex, it means you are being taken for granted.  Remind them that it’s till death not till you look like death.

They Put Their Work Before You

If your partner is more focussed on their job than to their relationship with you, you are being taken you granted. While a relationship cannot always take a superior position over the demands of the workforce, they should at least be trying to create a balance between the two.

They Cut Conversation Short

If your partner walks away or has to get off the phone immediately when you are talking to them, it shows you are taken for granted. When someone really values the other person’s feelings, they ensure not to continually cut conversations short, leaving the other feeling unloved or unwanted. At the very least, they will call back later to finish up the talk.

They Do Not Listen When You Share

If they stop listening whenever you share your deepest feelings. It is another sign. After all, it is only in a committed relationship where one gets to hear such inner thoughts. There’s simply no excuse being so inattentive.

They Take Advantage Of Your Free Time

If your partner knows your schedule and begins scheduling repairs, deliveries, and appointments. during your free time, chances are sharp that they are taking you for granted. After all, free time is a precious, limited thing, and household errands must be split evenly amongst the 2 of you. If your partner starts piling it all on you, it is an indication they have ceased giving your desires the acceptance they deserve. 

Though dating apps seem to be the way many amongst you might have to meet your partners, it’s definitely not the only way. Before dating apps, plenty of people met through more old-fashioned ways through friends and often while working in the same office. In fact, in spite of the advent of dating apps, meeting people at work is still a popular way of finding a spouse.

It makes better sense, of course. You spend more time with your colleagues than you do with your friends or relatives. You automatically get something in common with them and complaining about colleagues, bosses, and appraisals can be an immediate bonding experience particularly when paired with after-work meetings. There’s only one problem, only. If you meet your partner at work then you will work with your partner. Unless one of you changes jobs, your personal life and your professional life are now deeply interconnected. This means things can get complicated.

“You’re married and you work together. It could be a great experience or a miserable one. How it works is really a function of several factors, including the nature of your jobs, the size of the organization, how frequently you meet or interact during the day, your roles at the workplace, your schedules, your duties at work and at home, and your overall compatibility with each other in a work environment.

In this article, renowned Relationship Expert and Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo talks about things to bear in mind if you work with your spouse.

Ensure Both Of You Follow Professional Protocols

While there is a common myth that says that people working in the same organization are not allowed to date, this is not necessarily true. You may need to talk to your HR and let them know you are in a relationship. And a specific relationship dynamic between an immediate boss and subordinate, for instance—may or may not be allowed. But usually inter-company relationships, particularly between separate departments, is fine. But ensure everyone is aware of the relationship. This is a vital, often missed point. Working in a surrounding where your marriage is a secret is a recipe for disaster, rumors, and speculation. If you are working in an atmosphere that prohibits co-workers from being married, you are working in a lie, and it will have big implications for your job and career. Thus, it needs to be out in the open. Your employer needs to know, so do your co-workers.

Set Some Limits

One way to help things run smoothly is to set rules as quickly as you can. Decide how you want to handle various situations, right from the word go. One needs to figure out some basic questions. “How do you want to interact at work? Does the work culture bother with spouses working together? Do you need to keep a professional distance at work? What do you each want in terms of lunch breaks, and socializing? How do you want to handle domestic disagreements while at work? Generally, setting boundaries that keep home-related problems separate and bloc retribution at work for home-related issues are the most effective way. Dealing with this sooner can save you from problems later.

Limit Office Related Talk At Home

Complaining and discussing work can be exhausting. There’s something delightfully indulgent about cribbing about every annoying thing that happened during the day or about that one co-worker who drives you both insane. But here’s the catch, it could run away with you. It’s not healthy, and it can easily consume your important relationship time. Normally a time restriction and some boundaries about what is discussed and how much is discussed about work while at home is good. A little vent and some support could be useful, but if it’s beginning to bleed into crucial couple-time, then decide to call it quits.

Be Aware Of The Competition

When both of you work for the same company, comparisons cannot be avoided. It’s definitely true if you work in the same department or role, but even if one of you works in operations and the other in HR, there are still ladders to climb your way up and raises to be had or missed out on, so things can quickly become competitive. Make sure that if you feel that feeling growing, you talk to your partner. It could be that you need to talk less about work usually or that you need to address particular issues, like if you feel your partner does not enjoy your success, or if you feel like they do not support your career. If you feel any kind of flicker of jealousy or competition from either of you, ensure to manage it right away before it gets vulnerable.

Know That Something Or Someone May Have To Give

Finally, when many couples work happily together, it does not always work out. Be ready to accept that working together might not work. Be honest with each other about how it is happening, and remember that your marriage and relationship must be more important to both of you than your profession.

When you work with your partner, you need to be more vigilant and more alert, so make sure you are touching base and making sure you are both happy and content with the current setup. 

You mostly tend to strive for the honeymoon phase in relationships, where everything is like fantasy and full of wonders and you just cannot get enough of your partner. And though that phase can feel as pleasurable as you make it out to be, it’s also exactly what you call it a phase.

No relationship will be sunshine and rainbows every day of your life. A relationship is built up of at least 2 people and those people have individual requirements, and at times those needs include being alone. But how accurately do you know if you require space from your partner?

If you cannot make it an hour or two without checking in or asking a question to your partner, you need a break.

It’s completely fine to need space in a relationship. You could be an introvert that needs alone time to rest or you may just like spending time by yourself every once in a while. Needing some time apart does not mean you do not love your partner. It only means you need time to take care of yourself and recharge.

In this article, Delhi’s top Relationship Expert, Marriage Counselor and Founder of Saarthi Counselling Services talk about the signs you need space in your relationship.

You Are Always Bickering With Each Other

If you are continuously arguing over minor things, it could be time to take a break. Sometimes simply changing the pattern of spending so much time together can stop the cycle of bickering.

Try spending a day or weekend apart with your other loved ones. It’s good for the relationship and good for the bickering that is a sign that you need a break.

You Do Not Do Anything Without Telling Your Partner

If you are feeling like you cannot even go buy groceries without giving your partner a heads-up, it is perhaps a sign you need some space. A big sign you require space in a relationship is when you are co-dependent and cannot do anything without letting your partner know or getting your partner’s nod.

Begin out small by taking a break from calling, messaging or emailing each other. Chances are you are trying the above things multiple times. Don’t. Wait until you see each other in person at a given time of the day. Sometimes the 8-hour workday apart is sufficient. Other times you may need more.

The Quirks Are No Longer Quirky

If all the cute and mushy little things your partner does is no cuter to you, then it might be a good idea to spend some time alone. This is a sign you require some space from your partner is if “how they dress, or they talk. If every little thing is bothering you, it’s certain time for a break.

Spending Time Together Is Not As Fun As It Was Once

If you are not having fun in your relationship, some alone time could be necessary. If you are feeling drained after spending time together, again it’s time for some time apart. You likely require some space if your relationship is going through a torrid phase and it feels like every interaction results in a really hard and painful discussion. Being together should not be difficult, but when being together isn’t smooth-sailing, a small-time away from each other may be exactly what you and your partner need.

You Feel Stressed Out

If anything is stressing you out, it could be a good idea to spend some time alone.  Even if the stressor is not coming from your relationship. At times underlying stress or tension can make staying together feel like friction. Thus, it is helpful to check in with yourself and think about whether it is coming from outer stressors like work or family, or if there is something you are wanting in the relationship but not necessarily having.

You Do Not Feel Like Yourself

Needing alone time is never a bad idea. A major sign that you need some time away from your partner is if you’re feeling fatigued, irritable, or simply not yourself. Your spouse will understand if you need some time to take care of yourself and your mental health. “Make this a consistent part of your life so that you can have a good balance of time alone and time with your loved ones.

Needing space from your partner does not mean there is anything ridiculously wrong with your relationship. It’s always fine to give some time to yourself in order to rest, compose, and spend time with other people those you love.   

You have told a woman you like her, but she said stay back because you cannot be a part of her life or cannot be trusted. It hurts. Or maybe your girl says she loves you but will check where you are and whom you are with every possible time and she does not believe the details you share with her, so she spies on you!

It is pretty normal for a woman who has been cheated on in her past relationships to have hard times trusting men again. And, if you are presently in a relationship and your girlfriend has seen you lying numerous times, you cannot blame her for doubting you to be doing something wrong behind her back. And it won’t be easy winning her complete trust again.

In this article, the top Relationship Expert and Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares things men must do to earn a woman’s trust.

Begin With Friendship

Friendship is the core base of a relationship. Through a genuine friendship, you can let the girl know who you really are without any pressure and vice versa. It may be a slower process, but it is a lot better than starting with a date immediately.

Be Real In Front Of Her

Being true to your own self before the woman you like will make it simpler for her to trust you because of she gets to learn who you are and who you are not. Pretending to be someone else could impress her in the starting, but sooner or later she will find out your true colors and that will make her feel deceived.

Make Your Intentions Clear To Her

If you want to date a girl, you need to make your intentions pretty clear. Is it because you like her and you want to know her better. Or are you just bored and only want to have fun This will help her set limitations for your relationship and avoid disappointments as well.

Be Consistent With How You Treat Her

Men are mostly good at making girls feel special during the dating stage, but once they go steady after sometimes of being together, their treatment towards them turn sour. When a girl feels that her boyfriend has changed towards her, she cannot help think he has found someone else. Therefore, ensure that you remain polite and affectionate to your girl all throughout your relationship.

Never Break Promises

Never make a promise that you cannot keep. Once you have broken a promise, the woman you promised to will be disappointed and will believe you are a liar. It will be difficult for her to trust you again, so think twice before you vow to do something.

Be The First One To Let Her Know

If you are trapped in a situation where you know it would enrage your girl, like you ran into your ex in a shop and got trapped for an hour in it, do not try to hide what happened. Instead, tell her instantly before anyone else does. If she gets to know it from another source, she would feel you are hiding things from her.

Be Open To Her

Openness is an important factor in a healthy relationship because you can sincerely tell each other how you feel. It is not a great sign if you cannot trust each other with your thoughts. If you really want your girlfriend to be honest with you, make the first attempt by opening up your feelings and secrets to her.

Show That You Trust Her

Trust creates trust. You cannot expect trust from a woman if you don’t trust her yourself. This is why make her feel that you fully trust her. Do not check her phone every time you see her or get bothered with her male friends easily.

Be Patient

Do not be impatient while trying to get a woman’s trust, particularly if it was your fault why you lost it. It takes time to create trust. Therefore, just be consistent and loyal to her all the time. Don’t ever pressure her to trust you because it would be difficult for her.

Be Trustworthy

Trust is fragile. It is not easy to gain, but it can be broken in just a moment. Therefore, instead of focusing on getting a woman’s trust, look to build integrity for yourself. This way, you can be trustworthy to anyone, and it will not be that difficult to get anyone to believe in you.

Relationships, no matter how new or old, is one of the most beautiful parts of your life. When you are in love with your partner, it seems as if everything around you is non-existent and that anything could be conquered simply through love.

Although that may be true when you mix in specific relationship behaviors, things can become turbulent between you two and in turn, might make things to get vulnerable very quickly. What’s even worse is when you know the behaviors you have exhibited or encountered are unhealthy, but you simply choose to ignore them. In this article, Marriage Counselor, Relationship Expert, and Founder of Saarthi Counselling Services Shivani Misri Sadhoo talks about things that pushes your partner away from you.

Using Silent Treatment

Although going silent after a heated discussion with your partner may seem like the best response, but this is a behavior that you should eliminate.

Silent treatment damages relationships and leads to less relationship satisfaction. Avoid this damage inflicting treatment and instead communicate openly and honestly with your partner

Communication does not mean confrontation. Opening up dialogue can assist you to get to the root of your problem and solve it efficiently.

Assuming Your Partner Knows Everything

Another behavior that couples must stop is thinking that their partner knows everything without you telling them.

Your partner cannot read your mind or know your needs unless you express them. It is not fair to assume that your partner should be able to determine your every desire if you don’t tell them. Many people are not good at reading minds. In good relationships, partners are honest and decisive about expressing their needs, and their partners are the same way.

A good partner will not think you are nagging simply because you are expressing what you need from your partner and telling them how you feel.

Being Passive Aggressive

Keeping your feelings to yourself will seem easier than expressing them while you are in a relationship, but in reality, doing so could really hurt your relationship.

Almost everybody is familiar with the situation when there is some problem and one partner asks the other if they are upset and the partner says, I am OK, but things are most certainly not fine. If you are upset, the best way to do is to say so. You probably want to come off as non-confrontational, but ultimately that will not do you or your relationship good. When you bottle up your emotions you can begin to develop resentments towards your partner.

Those can intensify and result in a huge disaster that could have been avoided if you just addressed the concern from the start. Your partner is not certainly a mind reader, so if they ask you, answer them honestly and communicate about it. Good communication will always help your relationship grow further in a good direction.

Obsessing Over Your Partner

While in love and sending cute text messages entire day to your partner may be normal at first, but if you see yourself being too concerned with whatever they do, this may be a big problem. This is actually an obsessive behavior.

It’s easy to get caught up in the wind of romance, particularly when you first start dating, but this behavior can destroy you and your relationship. When you start to get into obsessive thinking, you are slowly exerting up the pressure on yourself and your partner. You may not know it but you’re not giving the relationship space it requires to manifest as it supposed to. Though it may seem as if you are only expressing your love, being a bit too into your partner can damage the chemistry.

Showing Your Relationship On Social Media

Since you live in the era of social media, it is quite easy to over-share in various aspects of your life and that includes your relationship. It is not acceptable to do this, particularly against your partner’s wishes.

Instead of aiming to become relationship goals for social media, act on being the best couple you can be in your real life.

Letting Your Friends Or Relatives Get Involved In Your Relationship

Whenever something bad or good is happening in your relationship, it’s natural to run to your friends or family members to discuss it. However, it is one of the biggest mistakes you can make and you should eradicate it from your behavior.

If you ask your friends about things they may not agree. Few friends are not pro relationships. Check who you trust to a small few and know that certain topics are not at all for discussion.

You should feel easy enough to discuss your concerns with your partner before taking them to another person.

Intimacy or lovemaking does not have to get boring in a long-term marriage. As the years pass by and you get older, your intimate relationship must get better. Sex with your partner can become more satisfying because you know each other’s preferences, likes, dislikes, and habits.

You know that life can get in the way. Work, children, finances, and several issues can dampen the romance. These everyday factors can hamper both your desire for sex and getting the time to put in the effort. But do not put sex on a shelve or last to-do tasks. There are ways to prioritize lovemaking and keep it healthy and exciting.

In today’s article, Delhi’s top Marriage Counsellor and Founder of Saarthi Counselling Services shares tips for couples to maintain a healthy and exciting marital life intimately.

Set Boundaries

Create boundaries around your immediate or nuclear family. Include individual, couple, and family time built into your daily life and pre-defined lines of connection with each partner’s family. This means you have clear boundaries around how much time you spend with your and your spouse’s family. Your own relationship and family should be the first priority.

Touch Each Other Whenever You Can

Have a well-established connection around non-sexual physical touching, holding each other’s hand, laying together, and sitting on the couch with each other. Touch each other often. Make a routine to kiss when saying hello and bidding goodbye every day.

Say I Love You To Each Other

Hearing the three magical words I love you can make you feel reassured about the way your partner feels about the relationship with you. It is a small gesture that can keep your connection alive. Call each other during the day to say it if you missed your chance earlier in the day.

Set Date For Love Making

Have consistent physical intimacy dates. Having a frequent sexual relationship in your marriage is essential. Couples in the 20s have sex an average of 2 to 4 times a week. Couples in the 30s normally do it twice a week and couples in the 40s and 50s usually have it once every week. Pay attention to the frequency at which you are having sex. Try not to be sexually intimate less than twice a month, because you may get into a habit that does not give priority to connecting in a physical manner. Maintaining your physical connection provides your marriage staying power and safeguard it from the stresses of life. Make time either spontaneously or planned, to follow through with consistent lovemaking and intimacy. Your sexual relationship should be a tension reducer, not a tension builder.

Compliment Your Partner

Compliment your spouse in front of others. Not only it is a good thing to do, but it also helps your spouse feel a deep sense of attachment to you and boosts their self-esteem. It’s also good to model for your kids so that they see you being complementary to each other.

Change The Pattern Of Your Love Making

Try often to make love using a distinct sexual script. By mixing up your normal order of kissing, foreplay, and intercourse, you can reconnect in a great way. By mixing up the script, you take ownership of pleasure and excitement in your marriage. Nothing is better than feeling desired and having a partner who takes control of the sexual relationship.

Regularly Treat Each Other

Regularly give your partner small gifts or show gestures of love and care. Leave your spouse a loving note, get them a special treat when you go shopping or come back from office. Write I love you on a slip and keep it in their cupboard. Pay attention to these small but moving gestures.

Arrange Weekly Dates

Plan weekly dates to keep the spark in your connection. Also, arrange weekly business meetings to discuss professional life or including the division of roles and household responsibilities, weekly plans, and other matters that need to be discussed. By keeping these conversations apart, date night can be about connecting, talking, and getting physical, while organizational business night can be about work-related problem-solving and working as a team during the week.

Whether it is a simple disagreement about what a child can eat for dinner, what they can wear or how to discipline them, disagreement is inevitable when it comes to parenting.

Most couples experience this situation at one time or another. You as a  parent becomes rooted in our position. And what began as a problem between you and your child rapidly evolves into a problem between you and your spouse. You are no more parenting as a team.

There’s so much to do and discuss, and it’s rare that two people would agree completely. Instead of screaming and shouting, one should look to resolve issues smoothly the next time you find yourself in the middle of a heated argument.

In this article, Delhi based relationship expert and marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares tips to resolve parenting disagreements with your partner.

Avoid Broad Statements

There is a saying never say never. The saying also accurately fits for arguments. The thing about saying always and never is that it is rarely ever true. Using such words, broad language can create unnecessary drama and ultimately, damage. Instead, try using sentences like I have noticed that recently you have let him stay up later than I am comfortable with. Using milder language can promote a soft reaction and help you reach a peaceful agreement.

Stick To The Topic

There is a habit to bring up past issues and grievances during an argument that might have nothing to do with the disagreement at a given time. Focusing on the issue in question and trying to resolve that only instead of unearthing up the past will make it simpler to come to a resolution.

Give Space And Time To Process

Never go to bed angry, you might have heard this plenty of times.  Forget all of that. At times, sleeping on an issue or opting to walk away and discuss something at a later time allows you time and space to process your feelings and emotions. You could get up with a new, fresh approach that makes room for an easy solution.

Using “I”

Rather than placing the blame on your spouse and leading with statements like, you never do anything in the house or you are never available for the kids, try conveying with I really appreciate it when you do the laundry, or I like how you interact with the kids.

Understand That You Both Add Value

Each of you has different styles and strengths you bring to the table. Identify that you both have unique gifts to offer your child and play them up. If one of you has more patience at bedtime, make that partner as the official bedtime parent. If the other loves cooking, take benefit of that passion and allow your spouse to spend some time getting creative in the kitchen.

Reconstructing a marriage does not always need a colossal intervention. Instead, changing minor daily habits can make a huge difference in how you feel about your marriage and most essentially, how you behave towards your soul mate. Whether you want to keep your marriage healthy or you need to recreate a spark, change some of your daily habits and you’ll be more likely to experience the beautiful marital bliss.

In today’s article Marriage Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo founder of Saarthi Counselling Services talks about little changes that can make a huge impact on your marital life.

Treat Your Bedroom Like A Romantic Haven

The surroundings in your bedroom can either spark romance or put off any passionate fires. If you have got a child sleeping between you, clothes piled up or sheets that haven’t been replaced over time, you are not going to feel an air of romance when you enter your room.  Several couples who take great pride in all other areas of their homes tend to ignore the bedroom. However, if you want to spark some romance, give energy into fixing up and cleaning the bedroom. A little paint on the walls, some new sheets and a bit of organizing can go a long way to putting the mood back in the bedroom.

Set A Goal For Your Marital Life Each Day

Just visualize what could happen if you get up each day with a goal for your marriage. You could do some awesome work. And they would not even have to be big goals. Instead, making a conscious decision every day to do something kind or spend quality time with your partner can go a long way. Even saying, I am going to find 1 positive thing to say to my spouse, or I am not going to be crabby today, can help you remain focused.

Look On What You Contribute Not What You Gain

Have a look at what you are contributing to your marriage each day. Instead of looking at what your partner hasn’t done for you or what’s not working, only pay attention to what you are doing to improve the marriage. If you focus on making life simpler for your spouse, you’ll have less time to focus on how marriage is making your life harder.

Turn Off Distractions

If you have ever said, “Yes,” without having any clue what your partner actually said, it’s a sign that you may tune your spouse out. If your partner’s voice seems to blend into the background, it can cause plenty of communication problems. Get focused and turn off distractions. Put off the TV, laptop and stop using your mobile while you’re trying to listen.

Treat Your Spouse Better Than Anybody Else

Think of how you treat your spouse on your bad days. When you are in a bad mood or are not happy with your partner’s behavior, what should you do? Unfortunately, spouses often seem to get the tough end of the stick. If you had a bad day at work, you are low or you are mad at your spouse, it doesn’t give you authority to behave badly.  Your spouse should get treated better than any other person, be it your friends, your in-laws, and strangers yet sometimes you are on your best behavior with those people and not our spouse.

Remember The Good Times

Marriage is not going to be a fairy tale every day. However, remembering the good times can fuel up lots of positive and loving feelings. Take time to talk about your happy memories, whether it was a vacation you enjoyed, a fun adventure you went, or other times that made both of you happy. Look at photographs together as well and take a walk down memory lane often and remember to work on developing new happy memories as well.

Give Words Of Encouragement

Often criticism comes more easily than encouragement. However, you should be your husband’s/wife’s biggest fan in life. The world can be a tricky place and your spouse needs your support. Offer words of sincere praise and encouragement each and every single day.

Everything was perfect between you and your spouse after you tied in the knot. In fact, years after your wedding, you were enjoying each other’s company and exchanging pleasantries. You had every reason, to believe that your dream marriage is going to stay forever.

But now there is a twist in your story.

You both have all of a sudden started bickering over minor issues and a feeling of trifling between you two are growing at an alarming pace. The innocuous arguments that kept your love as an eternally burning flame until now, have turned into rounds of intermittent altercations. There was a period when you used to fall head over heels for each other, now you are finding it hard even to get along.

Is this what is reflecting your own life nowadays? Are you feeling a similar change of emotion and attitude for your partner?

Ups and downs are bound to happen in any relationship and the testing times like these give couples a chance to grow stronger. But it doesn’t necessarily occur all the time and therefore, one has to address the bothersome doubts and if possible, nip the issues in the bud.

In this article, Shivani Misri Sadhoo, Delhi’s top marriage counseling expert talks about indications your relationship is going downhill. Here they are.

Sudden Breakdown In Communication

The first calamity of any troubled relationship is the breakdown of communication. The breaking down of communication does not necessarily mean you have completely stopped talking. It essentially means the way of your communication has changed considerably. That is, now you are just speaking with each other inadequately not connecting to each other heart to heart. So, it is actually a bad sign when speaking to each other seems cursory. If the pattern of your communication persists the same way, it creates a distance and disconnection in your marital life. As a result, it makes you feel lesser affection and fondness for your partner. When communications get hampered in this way than the things that otherwise appear simple to talk about starts giving uncomfortable feelings now. If you are caught up in a similar scenario, just give your relationship the topmost priority rather than doing anything else.

Trust Is Fading Away

Trust is one of the most important factors of a relationship. If you are even remotely feeling the trust between you two is wearing away, it shows your relationship is going to get a jolt sooner or later. In general, the common worry linked with the lack of trust is that one partner thinks the other one might be doing something suspicious. This is a precarious situation that often leads to a lot of quarrels, which in turn results in all forms of accusations being thrown around. Such a situation will add another layer of the problem in your relationship because you or your spouse will start asking questions about something that may not be happening at all.

Arguments Over Same Things Keeps Happening

Disagreement with your partner over several issues is a common thing because that’s what individual opinions are all about and your marriage or relationship is no different. But when the ego gets bigger and then arguments happens even on pettiest of issues; then these are warning bells. It will then be just a matter of time when your arguments will turn into mudslinging, name-calling, or even cross the limits of respectful disagreements. If you let your arguments seriously up the ante like this and blame each another, you might end up damaging your relationship.

No More Excitement

There were days when you were so much into romance but now something is wrong, and you are confused where all the fun has gone. You loved to give and get surprises every now and then, you used to go for vacations, enjoying sex and you both were busy making memories for your lifetime. But the same excitement now does not exist. It is even impossible for you to go on a date. But there is always a possibility of something good may happen. If you are sure it’s the lack of fun and excitement that is harming your relationship, ensure to double it up now. Make every effort small or big to make your partner laugh and happy. Things will become smoother.

You Are No More Careful About Your Partner’s Views And Desires

Sometimes a complaint can turn into criticism and if it converts into a personality or character judgment, then the base of your marriage has started shaking up. If you are further putting each other down or continuously criticizing each other, you are no longer a good couple. The worse situation is if you do not respect your partner anymore, then it is highly unlikely that you will love your partner again. It is therefore vital to respect your partner’s views and desires to keep your relationship going.