Marriage Counsellor and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

Are you head over heels for your girl, planning the big engagement, but still wondering if she’s “the one”? Finding the right person to spend your life with can feel like searching for a needle in a haystack. Amidst the sea of possibilities, there are certain signs that can help guide you towards someone truly special. While romantic gestures and thoughtful actions certainly play a part, the ultimate litmus test lies in how she makes you feel.

How do you find out if she’s the one you’ve been wanting to tie the knot with?

Top marriage counselor and relationship expert in India Shivani Misri Sadhoo explains how.

Empathy

Finding “the one” involves recognizing someone who empathizes genuinely. She listens and understands your feelings without judgment. Her compassion and support during tough times show her commitment. Marrying her means having a partner who stands by you through thick and thin, making every challenge easier to face together.

She’s your best friend

Choosing a life partner is like embarking on a journey with a trusted companion, and finding that person who seamlessly fits into the role of your best friend can make all the difference. You can share your feelings with her comfortably. You don’t need to pretend. You can be yourself. Whatever happens, she’s always there for you. So, when you find that special someone who makes you feel at home, who makes you laugh until your stomach hurts, and who you can’t imagine facing life without, you’ll know that she’s the one you should marry. 

She always encourages you    

Marrying a woman who constantly encourages and supports you is a blessing beyond measure. Her unwavering belief in your abilities fuels your confidence and drive. Even in your darkest hours, she sees your potential and lifts you up with her boundless faith. With her by your side, you’re inspired to conquer any challenge, knowing she believes you’re capable of magic. She’s not just a partner; she’s your greatest ally and cheerleader.

Shared goals and values

Shared goals and values serve as the compass guiding you to the right partner for marriage. When your beliefs, priorities, and long-term aspirations align with hers, it signals compatibility and ensures a harmonious journey together. While differences add spice, fundamental agreements on family, career, and life goals lay the groundwork for a fulfilling relationship. Finding someone who complements your strengths while sharing your core values is the key to a lasting union.

You trust her

Trust is the foundation of a healthy relationship. If you can’t trust your partner, who will you talk to about your deepest feelings?  When you’re with someone trustworthy, you feel secure because you know they care about you. Whether it’s staying faithful or keeping their promises, a woman who is honest and dependable is someone you can imagine a future with.

When arguments are productive

When you’re able to have productive discussions, even during disagreements, it demonstrates a level of emotional intelligence and communication skills that are vital for a healthy relationship. It means you’re able to listen actively, express your own thoughts and feelings honestly, and find compromises that satisfy both parties.

Mutual respect is a must

Mutual respect in a relationship is a cornerstone of a healthy partnership. When your girl respects you as an individual, honors your boundaries, and treats you with kindness, it indicates a strong foundation for a lifelong commitment.  In her, you find not just a partner, but a soulmate worthy of a lifelong journey together.

She is independent

She is strong and independent, with a mind of her own. This quality assures you that she won’t simply follow the crowd but will stand by her beliefs. Her strength inspires you, and her independence assures you of mutual respect and space within the relationship. Knowing she can navigate life’s challenges independently gives you confidence in facing them together as a team.

These are just some of the essential qualities couples therapist Shivani Misri Sadhoo highlights for finding the right partner. Ultimately, marrying someone who embodies empathy, friendship, encouragement, shared values, trust, effective communication, mutual respect, and independence ensures a fulfilling lifelong journey together.

Marriage, a sacred union between two individuals, is a profound life decision that significantly influences the course of one’s existence. The timing of such a commitment plays a crucial role in its success. While societal norms often emphasize the importance of marrying early, there exists a compelling argument that marrying the wrong person prematurely can be far more detrimental than waiting until later in life.

Why is getting married late better than marrying the wrong person early?

Leading couples therapist and marriage counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares her views on this question in this blog.

The Rush to Commitment:

Society’s expectations and cultural norms often pressure individuals to tie the knot at a relatively young age. The fear of being labelled “too old” or the societal perception that marriage is a milestone that must be achieved by a certain age can lead many to make hasty decisions in choosing a life partner. However, the consequences of rushing into a commitment of such magnitude without proper self-discovery and understanding of one’s needs can be profound.

The Importance of Self-Discovery:

Marrying the wrong person early in life often stems from a lack of self-awareness and understanding. In the rush to meet societal expectations, individuals may neglect their personal growth and development. The early twenties, a period often associated with self-discovery and career building, may not be the optimal time for everyone to make a lifelong commitment. People evolve and change over time, and marrying too early may limit the opportunities for personal growth and self-discovery.

Changing Priorities and Values:

In the early stages of adulthood, individuals are still in the process of shaping their identities, career paths, and personal values. Rushing into marriage without fully understanding these aspects can lead to a misalignment of priorities between partners. As individuals mature, their values and life goals may evolve, potentially causing strain on the relationship if the couple has not grown together or if they have grown in different directions.

The Toll on Mental and Emotional Well-being:

Marrying the wrong person can take a significant toll on one’s mental and emotional well-being. Early divorces, which often result from hastily made decisions, can be emotionally devastating. The process of untangling lives, shared assets, and emotional bonds can be far more complex and emotionally draining than waiting until later in life when individuals have a clearer sense of self and a more stable foundation.

The Benefits of Waiting:

On the other hand, waiting to get married allows individuals the time and space to explore their own identities fully. It provides the opportunity to establish a stable career, build a solid support network, and gain a deeper understanding of personal values and priorities. Waiting until later in life to commit to marriage often results in more mature, well-rounded individuals who are better equipped to navigate the complexities of a lifelong partnership.

Whereas, societal expectations may emphasize the importance of marrying early, the potential consequences of marrying the wrong person prematurely cannot be ignored. Taking the time to embark on a journey of self-discovery, career development, and personal growth can significantly enhance the chances of entering into a successful and fulfilling marriage later in life. Individuals must prioritize their well-being and growth before succumbing to societal pressures, recognizing that marrying late, with the right person, is a far wiser choice than rushing into a commitment that may not withstand the test of time.