It appears that for so many amongst you have become occupied by those almost great loves. The kind of relationships that are difficult to walk away from because it is almost correct; you are almost there, we have almost made it, or even, you are almost in love. So how do you know when is the correct time to walk away from a relationship?
Counselor Shivani says that the truth you struggle with and fight because there is a part of you that wishes you could make it different than it is. Sometimes the years go, and you suddenly find yourself in the situation of how to know if this is time to walk away for good.
See, the Bitter Truth is that Sometimes You End Up Marry Your “Almost”
At times it is your almost that you settle for, you barter happiness in lieu of getting what you want or what you think you need without realizing that sometimes you are meant to give up. Love is not always of the same quantity, and while not getting what you want can end up becoming the greatest blessing, the truth is this lesson often requires to be learned the difficult way. Irrespective of whether you have spent a few months/years dating someone or married over a decade, there are certain telltale signs that suggest this is time to give up and walk away.
The thing with love or at least the form of love that so many of you are looking for is that it would not arrive until you make room for it.
Through this blog, Delhi’s top Marriage Counselor and Relationship Expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo talk about when is the correct time to walk away from a relationship?
Here they are.
You have Gone from Cherishing to Enduring
You have this belief that no one remains in crazy passionate love forever, yet this is just a lie told by those to make themselves feel more comfortable regarding their own choices. The reality is that while the honeymoon stage of a relationship can go away, the honeymoon feelings can long last if the spark between two individuals is based on more than the initial underlying attraction. If you see yourself tolerating quirks, habits or even the choices of your partner rather than adoring them for who they are then this is the first sign that you are falling out of love with your partner, or that you already have.
You Try Yourself Compromising Your Happiness to Keep it Alive
Love needs compromise, there is no doubt about this, but it must not be to the extent that your happiness starts to suffer because of it. If you find yourself cutting away those activities or even people that you earlier enjoyed or that used to make up a part of you to somehow cause the relationship alive then the truth is the relationship is already over.
The sort of a relationship that inspires us to become more ourselves and to grow will never really need you to give up those important parts of who you are to do so. As an adult, you know that you rarely get your way, or least tell yourself that in an attempt to justify why you aren’t happy. In love, you sometimes think that it’s fine to have to change parts of yourself to have that relationship.
You Look at Love and Intimacy as a Chore
While you all have various levels and preferences of getting intimate if physical intimacy with your partner has become as a dutiful and monotonous routine just like emptying the clothes from the washing machine and just as fast then it is time to begin looking at why. Sex is an important indicator for your relationship, and as long as you don’t buy into the false pattern that after some amount of time none of you and your partner care about sex, then it will keep being a vital part of your relationship.
Whether you have been dating for a few months/years or you are some months post-partum sex matters, and not simply because of climax but because of the essence of grounding the relationship in physical intimacy. If you see yourself passing during physical intimacy more often than it perhaps is time to have a look at why you are physically pushing your partner away.
Your Romantic Relationships Reflects Where You Each Are at in Your Own Lives
If you have difficulty believing you are deserving of love, then you will end up pursuing someone whom it looks like you are begging for love from. If you lack self-confidence, then you will attract someone who will make you feel like less than yourself. Likewise, if you are self-secure and committed to learning about yourself, then you will draw someone mutually curious and respectful.
Life is all about growing and expanding so, this is the purpose of your relationships. No one wants a relationship to finish, whether it is because you have been on a few fun dates or because you share a child with someone. Mostly the moment you consider if you should give up and walk away is the moment you already have. You would be doomed in love because of a few failed relationships. But you will be if you do not believe that you deserve better.
You See Yourself Crying More Often Than Smiling
It might appear like an obvious one, but it appears that sometimes when you are in relationships so deep, you become more obsessed with making it happen than actually stepping back and stopping to consider if you even should. No relationship is perfect every time, but there must be more good times than bad.
There must be more times that make you smile than bringing tears, anxiety, arguments, and even apathy. If you see yourself busy on your phone, creating social media updates rather than cuddling watching a movie, or surprise your lover it could be time to stop and begin considering why. Not every relationship has to last, and in truth, the majority of your relationships do not, but they can teach you something, not about love but yourself as well.
Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away
During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-10 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.
However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception. But try it before you disregard this option. This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.
You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!
Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.