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Are You Facing Uncertainty in Your Relationship? Counselor Shivani Says You Might be in a “Situationship”

So, you have been seeing someone for a few months now (yes, that person you met perhaps on a dating site). You think (or more like you hope) they are not seeing anyone else. You know their favorite type of food, music, their father’s name, and may even have a toothbrush at their house. However, even though you are kind of in a relationship, there still has not been any talk of commitment or even exclusivity. Does this seem familiar? Well, if this sounds like it is describing your relationship perfectly, then you are perhaps in a “situationship”.

Relationship Counselor Shivani says ss the latest relationship trend on the block, a situationship is actually when you and another person are doing things that normal couples do, but you are not actually a couple. In between a hook-up and a relationship, situationship is that in-between grey zone where no one truly knows what is going on. Situationships may last months or even years in several cases but, given the reality, they involve catching feelings, it will finally end in two methods. Either you are going to DTR (define the relationship) or someone decides to move on.

So, if you see yourself relating to these signs, as said by Delhi’s top Marriage Counselor and Relationship Expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo in this blog, then have a peek into it, that you may be in a “situationship”.

Run-Ins with a Friend or Relatives are Awkward

Have you ever bumped into a relative or friend while you are with the person you are seeing and not known what to introduce them as?  With responses with pauses like Uhm, this is my friend?’ or ‘Uh, this is his/her name, you know you are in a situationship. This is due to the fact that you haven’t truly defined what you are both doing.

Not at All Making Future Plans with Each Other

The majority of the people in committed relationships will be making plans for their future, such as birthday plans or deciding to book event tickets that would not be for another six to eight months. If you are in a situationship though, you might never make plans that are more than a week in advance, preferring to simply live in the moment. You may also still be going to events such as wedding ceremonies or New Year’s events alone.

You Have Never Meet Each Other’s Friends or Colleagues

On the first note, apart from the awkward run-ins, you have not officially met each other’s friends or colleagues.  Meeting friends usually, signifies that the relationship has the ability to be long-term. Several people do not want to introduce someone to their friends if they would be around next week. Introducing them indicates commitment. Whereas in a situationship, at most in this kind of relationship the closest you can perhaps come to making a commitment is to begin watching a new web series together at most. Nothing more than that. *

There are a Few Taboos

Being in a situationship, you tend to always be playing a game of chicken while texting. So, if one of you doesn’t respond for a long time, you cannot easily just ask what is going on. Lack of commitment means you do not wish to appear as the needy or clingy one, since you are technically not even in a defined relationship. Also, you are certainly not on each other’s social media too.

You Have Sleepovers Regularly

It does not feel necessary to leave straight away post-sex because you do not simply go over to hook-up. Even though your relationship could be largely physical, you still do plenty of the domesticated activities that couples normally do.  You stay overnight at each other’s places, have breakfast, and even have your toothbrush at their homes.

You Have Feelings for Each Other But Not Love, But You Simply Never Talks About This

Despite not admitting it to the person you are seeing, you have certainly caught feelings. However, you do not love them. Communication is vital in a serious relationship, but in situationships people merely tend not to talk about their true feelings. While it could be fun for a while, it is essential to bear in mind that the uncertainty may get a bit too much eventually.

What happens if you get yourself in a situationship?

If you are dating in 2021 and a millennial, then you will possibly find yourself in a situationship. If you are not already in one now. Millennials somewhat specifically tend to be “scared of the responsibility and expectation that comes along with the label girlfriend or boyfriend and so the ‘what are we’ conversation simply never happens.

While pressure and label-free relationship sound good, but one never knows situationships can actually be quite toxic. The repeated uncertainty of the other person’s feelings and thoughts can rapidly turn from exciting to exhausting. The worst thing is that when a situationship finishes, you say to yourself that you cannot get even properly upset about it because it was not even theoretically a relationship. Situationships are not for everyone. If it is not what you actually wish, then get out of it immediately. Put yourself first and never settle for anything you do not deserve.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-19 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.


Relationship Issues Millennials Face and Ways to Deal with Them

Searching for a love partner and maintaining a relationship has always been difficult but it is a little trickier for millennials. Films such as Love Aaj Kal elaborates on the reality that how people love these days is quite different from that of the previous generations.

Relationship Expert Shivani says that life, in general, has changed immensely which has ultimately affected people’s lifestyles too. In this digital age, love tests are given on small screens and people’s affection is proved using social media posts. And it would not be wrong to say that millennials look to date differently compared to their parents and other generations.

In a world where dating is as simple as a left or right swipe, one cannot deny that dating and relationships have completely changed in today’s time. Although every generation has its fair share of issues, some dating issues are specific to millennials which is partly because of the technology boom.

In this article, India’s eminent Marriage Counselor and Relationship Expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo talks about some of the common relationship problems faced by millennials and ways to deal with them.

Over or Under Sharing on Social Media

Some individuals prefer to share lovey-dovey photographs and posts on social media, others hate it. There is always feasibility of couples getting into arguments or fights because of over or under-sharing on social media. The simplest way to deal with this is that couples should sit and talk and decide what to share and how much to share on social media.

Jealousy Regarding an Act Done on Social Media

Social media activities can probably have bigger consequences in relationships. Finding that your partner has liked a swimsuit or shirtless photo could be disturbing and it can lead to fights. In that scenario, you should always remember that jealousy never serves a productive purpose. And, it is essential not to read too much into your partner’s actions when it comes to social media.

Stress and Depression

Various reports have shown that millennials tend to be more anxious and depressed and they struggle with more mental issues compared to their previous generations, which is partly because of the fast-paced life powered by technology. A stressed or depressed partner can impact a relationship. The ideal method to deal with this is to focus on your partner’s mental health and try out meditation and other remedies or even consulting a counselor if it is the need of the hour to deal with it.

Phubbing

Phubbing is usually when a person ignores his/her partner by repeatedly being on their phones. Believe it or not, some people tend to get lost in their phones more than their partner on dates. This can make your partner feel left out, unwanted, or ignored. Phubbing often acts as a trigger that causes a fight between couples. To avoid this, make a no-phone rule for dates.

Constant Urge for Attention

Nowadays people do not need to wait for days for a letter. A text can be delivered instantly. Because of which people may need constant attention and this could lead to possible conflicts. It is important to give each space and time to each other. And it is of utmost importance to understand when your partner is busy and needs space for their work.

Commitment Concerns

Millennials have more share of problems settling in than the past generations. As there are several choices and a fake sense of perfection, people can easily have commitment and trust issues. For this, one needs to change the way they perceive things and act on a bond that is both strong and sturdy and leads to longevity.

Distractions

In the technology-laden generation, a person is surrounded by distractions all the time. Continuous notifications, social media interactions, a range of gaming options, and plenty of others. Modern life is simply so busy and full of distractions. It means that an individual is unable to dedicate time and effort to a relationship which is a necessity. One method to deal with this is to plan things together that you can do as a couple and do activities that you both like to do together.

Misunderstandings

Misunderstandings have often been part of any relationship. But the problem is nowadays, people mostly either text or send a DM. And to understand a partner’s emotion with just a few word-based texts is obviously harder if not impossible. Because of this, many misunderstandings crop up between couples. The only solution to avoid this is proper communication.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-10 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

Signs You are Simply Being Used by Your Partner

Your love is precious and not supposed for everyone. You need to be selective about who you fall for. Not everyone deserves it. There are a few really insensitive individuals who really do not care about other peoples’ feelings. Your feelings deserve respect. No one must be able to play with your feelings whenever they wish to.

You simply need to know how to avoid such sort of people and prevent all the pain or heartache.

Through this blog, Delhi’s Top Relationship Expert and Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo talks about some signs that indicate you are being used by your partner.

He Talks Only When the Day Finishes

He never calls or texts you throughout the day.  He does not wish to know how your day was. You would not have a trace of him/her in the entire day. You are his last resort prior to going to bed. He calls only when they know there is no one else he could play with. You are not allowed to call him whenever you want to but only when he calls you should answer. This should raise suspicions, shouldn’t it?

He is a Bit Too Generous with the Compliments

Now who does not want to feel good about themselves? All of you crave to listen to your partners complimenting you. It makes you feel very desirable and confident. However, beware if he feels a bit too much and comes up the entire time. This is a sure-shot way to understand that his intentions are not that great. He simply plays on you, to get the best out of you. It’s his way of distracting you from what his true intentions are.

You Were Never Introduced to His Friends

You will always remain a secret. If you really love each other, you will want to meet those people who know your partner the best. You will wish to get involved in a deeper way. If you have not ever met his friends, this means you are not important enough. It means you will never be ‘the one’, but will only remain a side option.

He Does Not Wish to be Seen in Public with You

He will make excuses to hide away from public appearances with you. He will make it a point to meet you at places that are almost deserted or within the confines of a four-walled room only. If they are really into you, wouldn’t he want to be with you wherever you wanted to? Would he be so secretive about you? You all know what dating inside a closed room ultimately leads to. If his idea of dates is confined to a room only all he needs is the physical body and nothing else.

He Will Never Reveal About Him

He is quite secretive about his lifestyle. He seldom shares his childhood stories or important events of his life with you. Do you even know anything beyond basic things about him? He is normally vague about his whereabouts. You never truly know where he is and what he is doing at any given point in time during the day. By keeping his personal details all to himself, he gives you a sign that he does not wish to make you an important part of his life. You will soon be ghosted or left wondering about why he chose to leave you.

He Checks Out on Other Women

A man who is truly into you will never wish to have his eyes for other women. If you see him constantly looking out at any random woman who passes by, if he then says you about what he likes about her, compares you; this man is not worthy. If he tells you that he likes you but he is repeatedly in the habit of bird watching straight in front of you; be aware that he can do a lot more behind your back.

Being used always hurts and if you wish to save yourself from all the heartache, move out of this so-called relationship as soon as you can whenever you spot these signs.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-19 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.


Six Ways for Couples to Stay Connected After Having a Baby

The excitement of a newborn’s arrival can also have unforeseen consequences for a couple. As well as paying attention entirely to their little bundle of joy, let us not forget about sleepless nights, endless chores, and upheaval of grand proportions. A longer Sunday morning sleep-in or impromptu date night out as a couple? Forget those.

Counselor Shivani says it is hardly surprising several couples site, the months after their newborn’s arrival as when disharmony sets in. Take for example a working couple, until their baby arrived, they juggled successful careers with a lively social life. Six to seven months after the baby’s birth the wife complains they spent more time arguing over who does what than enjoying each other’s company nowadays. She no longer felt like a wife and partner but a toiler.

If it rings a bell it does not have to be in this manner. You can enjoy your baby and a good relationship at the same time too. Equip yourself with awareness besides these six simple ways shared in this blog by Delhi’s eminent Marriage Counselor and Couples Therapist Shivani Misri Sadhoo that talks exclusively to survive the days and stay connected with your special one post when your baby is born.

Teamwork is the Mantra

Being good and ideal parents to your baby are the most vital job you will ever do. However, you will do it well, as a team; it is time to agree to end pulling apart. Sit down and discuss what each of you does best when it comes to all the demands you have now. The idea is to be super-positive with each other related to the jobs you each do well.

Resist begrudging your spouse praise for what they have a natural ability for such as he has a knack for putting the baby down.

Be generous with appreciation and compliments and tell your loved one how much you value their efforts.

With both of you knowing what is expected and helping each other, it will form a team spirit.

Avoid Baby Talk

It is very important to establish a time for you solely as a couple. Several couples become so baby-centric that they start to lose some of their relationships. Even if the only time you have is sharing a meal together, completely ban or avoid talking about your baby during this time. If the baby has been unwell you need to inform your partner, and they will want to listen to any little baby news. But once you have had a bit of baby talk it must be about you and grown-up things.

Ask each other how you are and discuss how your partner’s day was. Talk about both your interests like the book you have bought, saving for a vacation, that concert evening you would like to go to and so on that excites you as a couple.

Couple’s Play

Simply as you have playtime with your baby where you shake or move their toy in front of them or show them some musical toys, simply you too as a couple need to get out and play.  Even when you can only get child care once every couple of weeks or month, do it.

Early on it is good to get your baby accustomed to being left with someone familiar or trusted. If you can leave the baby with the grandparents. This is your time to relax without worrying about the baby is going to interrupt your dinner or movie. The golden rule is to do what you both want to, so if you are too tired to go out then have a candlelight dinner at home or watch a movie together.  It is entirely about your uninterrupted time together.

Alter Your Expectations

Pre-baby days you may have fantasized you would be as happy as you can, keep a beautiful home and have some physical intimacy thrown during every weekend. When reality sets in certain parents hang on to those unrealistic expectations. Re-analyze things and prioritize. If it allows you more time together and more fun playtime with the baby do not worry about things being less tidy.

Ask and You May Get

With complete good intentions mother and father can sometimes slip up or be thoughtless without being too. He does not compliment you when you have finally got a new hairstyle, he brings over an office friend without notice or so on. Such things could be the last straw when you have been up with the baby the entire night.

This is simply about asking. Ask your partner to let you know beforehand whenever possible if they want to bring someone back. Ask your partner how your hair seems. Never keep silent and stew over these things when you have so much on your platter as a young couple and family.

Affection, Show it More

It is very critical to keep affection going post-birth even if full physical intimacy is off the menu for a time. Oxytocin, a bonding hormone is released through cuddle, kissing, hand holding and hugs too.

When you stop being physically in contact as you feel so tired and frustrated it can be difficult to regenerate; in simple words, ‘use it or lose it’.

Some women can get ‘cuddle-fatigue’ post-birth having nursed, cuddled, and carried around their baby the entire day. If your partner looks over-keen for cuddles let them know that a little could go a long way. When it comes to enjoying complete physical intimacy again take it slowly and make sure there has been some romance first.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-19 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.


Your Love Language, How You Can Express Affection?

One of the major reasons that couples come to counseling is either one or both partners feeling unloved.

Marriage Counselor Shivani says lots of people, specifically those who have been with their partners for a long time and have been doing things the similar way for a while coming for help as they feel their partner never expresses love, appreciation, or affection and, as a result, they do not feel wanted or cared for.

But mostly, the problem is quite much to do with how affection is being expressed as anything else.

Everyone has a different method of showing someone that he/she cares about them. This may be called your ‘love language.

This blog by India’s top Marriage Counselor and Relationship Expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares how you can express affection to your special one.

The Common 5 Love Languages

Counselor Shivani says the main ‘love languages’ people often use are:

  • Giving Gifts. This may include buying even flowers or chocolates. Physical items intended to please your partner and show you have been thinking about them.
  • Carrying Out Kind Acts. This might be something such as cleaning the home for your partner or picking up the shopping. Small (or big!) gestures to make your partner happy.
  • Spending Quality Time Together. This may be putting aside a full evening to spend in each other’s company so you can actually reconnect.
  • Physical Touch. This might be walking or sitting alone holding hands, giving hugs, receiving a neck or shoulder massage. Sensual gestures to make your partner feel physically closer together.
  • Saying Good Things to Each Other. This may include paying compliments such as your hair looks nice’, ‘I really like you in that dress’, ‘you are a really very talented or simple affirmation of how you feel about each other. 

Majorly people have just one or two mains ‘love languages’ that they usually speak – through which they express affection and that they mostly appreciate and understand when ‘spoken’ to them.

So, if someone feels that spending quality time with each other is the most natural way of expressing and forming affection may really appreciate it if their partner plans aside an evening for them to go on a date or have dinner. Or somebody who feels close to their partner when being touched physically may really enjoy a light massage at home.

Likewise, one usually has one or two methods of expressing the affection that does not mean all that much to you – probably receiving gifts does not really do it for you, or you can go a little extra without dedicated quality time. 

Where Do You Learn Your ‘Love Language’?

How one expresses affection is mostly hugely influenced by what you learnt growing up. If your family liked spending plenty of quality time together, for example, you may value the same things in your partner. If there was an embarrassment at expressing feelings verbally or physically, this could continue into adulthood. But there are no real hard and fast formulas or rules, you may make a choice to do things differently in your adult relationships. In the end, you express affection the way you do because that is what makes the most sense to you.

When You Speak Different Languages

If you and your significant other are speaking different ‘love languages’ without realizing it, that is when there can be room for miscommunication besides dissatisfaction.

You may both end up feeling like the other one doesn’t say or do anything to show they truly care and may end up thinking whether they care at all.

For example, if someone really values kind acts, but their partner’s methods of expressing love are, say, buying gifts, they might feel like they are not having their needs or desires met. Similarly, their partner could feel the bunch of flowers they bought was a really nice gesture of showing they care, but was put out by their spouse’s underwhelmed reaction.

Over time, this sort of miscommunication may really drive a wedge in a relationship. Both partners may begin to feel they are doing all they can, but that it is still not sufficient to make each other happy and content. As a result, they can begin to feel bitter and resentful.  

How Can You Address This?

For a relationship to be healthy you both the partners need to understand each other’s needs.  

You and your partner probably need to explore how you both feel most comfortable expressing and receiving affection. If you think you may find this conversation difficult, you may like to think about the following:

  • Give It Time and Space. Never try to talk when one of you is busy, exhausted, or getting ready to go out. Set aside a time when you will be able to talk uninterrupted. It can also be a wise idea to choose nice, comfortable surroundings, in the living room with a cup of tea, for example.
  • Focus on Feelings. You probably like to use lots of ‘I’ while you speak ‘I sometimes feel’, ‘I do not always know how to” instead of ‘you’ language: ‘You mostly make me feel’, ‘You never seem to”. That way, you are taking responsibility for your emotions and your significant other is less likely to feel like they are being blamed for things.
  • Start on a Positive. At times, it can help to start by focussing on what you like about the relationship: ‘I love that we can rely on each other for the big stuff, but I was thinking we could talk about some day-to-day stuff. This can get things off to a more positive beginning and help your partner understand you are not simply trying to get at them.

For plenty of couples, discovering that they and their spouse are speaking different love languages is a real lightbulb moment. They could have been feeling poles apart, but suddenly realize they do love each other. It is just that the messages have not been getting through.

How We Can Help

If you think you and your partner could do with seeking help, talking about any of the above, Relationship Counselling at Saarthi Counselling Services can be a great way for having conversations that you may otherwise find difficult.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-19 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

Do You Find It Difficult to Approach Your Partner After a Fight? Marriage Counselor Shivani Sadhoo Reveals How to Break the Silence Post a Fight with Your Partner

While being in a relationship and never having a fight with your partner is virtually impossible. Constructive criticism or healthy arguments or fights help couples to sort out their problems and voice their pent-up emotions, thereby addressing those issues that can otherwise create havoc in a couple’s life. However, plenty of things depend on how a couple behaves post a fight and, specifically, how they break the awkward silence post their heated arguments.

So, here are a few tips being shared by Delhi’s top Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo to start a conversation with your partner after a fight.

Send a Romantic Text

Well thanks to the technology, there are several ways to start a conversation these days. Specifically, if you are feeling too awkward to come face to face or talk with your spouse after a fight, you can always take the assistance of your phone to send him or her a sweet and romantic message. You can write about how much this relationship and your partner mean to you. But do not react or get angry if you do not get a response immediately to your message. Be happy that you made an effort to break the ice and that is really praiseworthy.

Give a Call

The next step post sending a message is to look for your phone and call your spouse, irrespective of whether he or she has responded to your message or not. The best manner to start the conversation is by exchanging pleasantries, although it will not be so easy to do that post an awkward silence following the fight. However, you must avoid playing the blame game as it will only aggravate the situation more.

Apologize

No matter how serious a fight could be, an apology can do magic to repair the damage it may have caused to your relationship. It is always wise to stand up to your mistakes and saying sorry is the best method to start a conversation with your partner. Remember, merely apologizing is not sufficient if you do not mean it. It would be a nice gesture if you could furnish the apology with a token of love, may a gift or chocolates and even a handwritten note can brighten up your partner’s mood after that ugly fight.

Plan an Outing

You all must have felt at times how your environment is saturated by your emotions, for instance, post a fight it is not surprising to feel as if the whole horizon is filled with negativity. It is quite normal. So, a change in the scene could be helpful if you wish to initiate talks after a lovers’ tiff. How about planning a date or dinner at your favorite eating joint?

The Tried and Tested Way of Starting Afresh the Next Day

At times, perhaps doing things the traditional way could be a big transformation. You can try sorting the differences by using some old tricks. How about starting afresh the next day? Treat a new day as a fresh start and approach it as you would otherwise do when you do not fight with your spouse. Maybe, prepare your beloved’s favorite dish for breakfast and kick start the day with a warm and hearty good morning.

Take Help

The silence between partners is more damaging than fights. Sometimes, couples build such impregnable walls between them that it becomes literally impossible to get over those to offer the olive branch to your partner. Under such situations, it is always wise to take help from a reliable and trustworthy person or a professional counselor if these things are repeated patterns. To break the ice or, in this case, the stubborn wall of silence. Taking the help of a marriage counselor can also help couples address their issues and encourage them to talk about problems that they otherwise keep under the carpet.

The Two Fs

Perhaps the best one and is mostly done by couples who have really long relationships. This is the best mantra for a successful reconciliation post a fight—forgive and forget i.e., the two Fs. If you wish to pick up the threads of a relationship post a quarrel with your spouse, first you need to learn to forgive and forget. And only when you do that, you can help each other to get past your differences and bolster the relationship. Also, it becomes easy to talk to a partner when you have forgiven him or her, right? But you should also remember to forgive yourself because sometimes you are so engulfed in self-guilt and pity post a fight that it becomes next to impossible to pour your heart out after that incident.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-19 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.


Tricky Relationship Signs, that Subtly Indicates One Must Run

Some couples break up for the most trivial things, while others continue fighting for their relationships not noticing that the entire energy they are consuming is actually going to waste. Well, neither of those is correct because the first is a misjudgment of their partner while the other one tends to create toxic tension. The true secret lies in the fact that there are certain mistakes that are forgivable, and others that are quite difficult to let pass simply like that.

While most of you might think that major break-up reasons might be normally, obvious and easy to spot, the reality is that they actually are not. Yes, some circumstances or characteristics could be so subtle that you would not even notice the fact that they are alarming bells for you to pay attention to.

This blog by Delhi’s Top Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo talks about some unclear and tricky signs of a relationship that can act as an alarm for you. Here, they are.

Your Partner is Unbelievably Charming and there is Nothing Wrong with them

Excessive charm is generally not good for your relationship’s health. Charm seems to hide bigger issues behind an individual’s personality especially when it is constant or excessive. Yes, it feels good in the beginning, but it is also a big red flag that must get you asking yourself, “Then what are your flaws?”. Even in stories, when a girl meets the flawless man of her dreams, he most probably turns out to be some shady character in the end. You are not being asked to look for the drama, but the effort is to draw your attention towards the fact that too much concealing of a person’s natural and spontaneous traits can lead to big shocks in the end. It is either they are hiding certain things behind this constant sweetness, or they are lying about something. If not any amongst those, then also run because sooner or later, he/she is probably going to get bored of the charming role they are playing and will mistreat you as you had never imagined.

You Quit Fighting

It’s quite common that fighting a lot is one of the big break-up reasons. What might be misunderstood, is that not fighting or arguing at all is a good sign. No, no one is telling you to be a drama queen. Healthy relationships always consist of healthy discussions and arguments. It is a normal phenomenon that indicates how two individuals are always in search of common ground to meet on. When one stops mentioning what may annoy you in a relationship, you may think that you have become more mature. However, it is a sign that you no longer look for solutions, but rather care less about the entire thing. If this happens a lot, it will eventually lead you to stop caring completely, and therefore, you must consider a break-up. This is by time, you’d have reached your complete capacity and would lose interest in your relationship.

You are on Your Partner’s Waiting List of Priorities

It will not be stated clearly. It would be indicated in actions. No matter how much you are told you are important to your partner, you would find him/her always acting otherwise. Work, family, friends always take priority over you. A person who keeps you as an option will tend to make you feel guilty and inconsiderate of his/her busy schedule. This is, definitely, ladies and gentlemen, the art of turning tables. A partner who is not as caring as he/she should be would focus on blaming you rather than trying to make things up to you. Occasionally, you would find him/her forgetting about important events/dates or missing out on gatherings they know are important to you.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-19 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

When is the Correct Time to Walk Away From a Relationship?

It appears that for so many amongst you have become occupied by those almost great loves. The kind of relationships that are difficult to walk away from because it is almost correct; you are almost there, we have almost made it, or even, you are almost in love. So how do you know when is the correct time to walk away from a relationship?

Counselor Shivani says that the truth you struggle with and fight because there is a part of you that wishes you could make it different than it is. Sometimes the years go, and you suddenly find yourself in the situation of how to know if this is time to walk away for good.

See, the Bitter Truth is that Sometimes You End Up Marry Your “Almost”

At times it is your almost that you settle for, you barter happiness in lieu of getting what you want or what you think you need without realizing that sometimes you are meant to give up. Love is not always of the same quantity, and while not getting what you want can end up becoming the greatest blessing, the truth is this lesson often requires to be learned the difficult way. Irrespective of whether you have spent a few months/years dating someone or married over a decade, there are certain telltale signs that suggest this is time to give up and walk away.

The thing with love or at least the form of love that so many of you are looking for is that it would not arrive until you make room for it.

Through this blog, Delhi’s top Marriage Counselor and Relationship Expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo talk about when is the correct time to walk away from a relationship?

Here they are.

You have Gone from Cherishing to Enduring

You have this belief that no one remains in crazy passionate love forever, yet this is just a lie told by those to make themselves feel more comfortable regarding their own choices. The reality is that while the honeymoon stage of a relationship can go away, the honeymoon feelings can long last if the spark between two individuals is based on more than the initial underlying attraction. If you see yourself tolerating quirks, habits or even the choices of your partner rather than adoring them for who they are then this is the first sign that you are falling out of love with your partner, or that you already have.

You Try Yourself Compromising Your Happiness to Keep it Alive

Love needs compromise, there is no doubt about this, but it must not be to the extent that your happiness starts to suffer because of it. If you find yourself cutting away those activities or even people that you earlier enjoyed or that used to make up a part of you to somehow cause the relationship alive then the truth is the relationship is already over.

The sort of a relationship that inspires us to become more ourselves and to grow will never really need you to give up those important parts of who you are to do so. As an adult, you know that you rarely get your way, or least tell yourself that in an attempt to justify why you aren’t happy. In love, you sometimes think that it’s fine to have to change parts of yourself to have that relationship.

You Look at Love and Intimacy as a Chore

While you all have various levels and preferences of getting intimate if physical intimacy with your partner has become as a dutiful and monotonous routine just like emptying the clothes from the washing machine and just as fast then it is time to begin looking at why. Sex is an important indicator for your relationship, and as long as you don’t buy into the false pattern that after some amount of time none of you and your partner care about sex, then it will keep being a vital part of your relationship.

Whether you have been dating for a few months/years or you are some months post-partum sex matters, and not simply because of climax but because of the essence of grounding the relationship in physical intimacy. If you see yourself passing during physical intimacy more often than it perhaps is time to have a look at why you are physically pushing your partner away.

Your Romantic Relationships Reflects Where You Each Are at in Your Own Lives

If you have difficulty believing you are deserving of love, then you will end up pursuing someone whom it looks like you are begging for love from. If you lack self-confidence, then you will attract someone who will make you feel like less than yourself. Likewise, if you are self-secure and committed to learning about yourself, then you will draw someone mutually curious and respectful.

Life is all about growing and expanding so, this is the purpose of your relationships. No one wants a relationship to finish, whether it is because you have been on a few fun dates or because you share a child with someone. Mostly the moment you consider if you should give up and walk away is the moment you already have. You would be doomed in love because of a few failed relationships. But you will be if you do not believe that you deserve better.

You See Yourself Crying More Often Than Smiling

It might appear like an obvious one, but it appears that sometimes when you are in relationships so deep, you become more obsessed with making it happen than actually stepping back and stopping to consider if you even should. No relationship is perfect every time, but there must be more good times than bad.

There must be more times that make you smile than bringing tears, anxiety, arguments, and even apathy. If you see yourself busy on your phone, creating social media updates rather than cuddling watching a movie, or surprise your lover it could be time to stop and begin considering why. Not every relationship has to last, and in truth, the majority of your relationships do not, but they can teach you something, not about love but yourself as well.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-19 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high. 

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service! 

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.