Do You Find It Difficult to Approach Your Partner After a Fight? Marriage Counselor Shivani Sadhoo Reveals How to Break the Silence Post a Fight with Your Partner
While being in a relationship and never having a fight with your partner is virtually impossible. Constructive criticism or healthy arguments or fights help couples to sort out their problems and voice their pent-up emotions, thereby addressing those issues that can otherwise create havoc in a couple’s life. However, plenty of things depend on how a couple behaves post a fight and, specifically, how they break the awkward silence post their heated arguments.
So, here are a few tips being shared by Delhi’s top Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo to start a conversation with your partner after a fight.
Send a Romantic Text
Well thanks to the technology, there are several ways to start a conversation these days. Specifically, if you are feeling too awkward to come face to face or talk with your spouse after a fight, you can always take the assistance of your phone to send him or her a sweet and romantic message. You can write about how much this relationship and your partner mean to you. But do not react or get angry if you do not get a response immediately to your message. Be happy that you made an effort to break the ice and that is really praiseworthy.
Give a Call
The next step post sending a message is to look for your phone and call your spouse, irrespective of whether he or she has responded to your message or not. The best manner to start the conversation is by exchanging pleasantries, although it will not be so easy to do that post an awkward silence following the fight. However, you must avoid playing the blame game as it will only aggravate the situation more.
No matter how serious a fight could be, an apology can do magic to repair the damage it may have caused to your relationship. It is always wise to stand up to your mistakes and saying sorry is the best method to start a conversation with your partner. Remember, merely apologizing is not sufficient if you do not mean it. It would be a nice gesture if you could furnish the apology with a token of love, may a gift or chocolates and even a handwritten note can brighten up your partner’s mood after that ugly fight.
Plan an Outing
You all must have felt at times how your environment is saturated by your emotions, for instance, post a fight it is not surprising to feel as if the whole horizon is filled with negativity. It is quite normal. So, a change in the scene could be helpful if you wish to initiate talks after a lovers’ tiff. How about planning a date or dinner at your favorite eating joint?
The Tried and Tested Way of Starting Afresh the Next Day
At times, perhaps doing things the traditional way could be a big transformation. You can try sorting the differences by using some old tricks. How about starting afresh the next day? Treat a new day as a fresh start and approach it as you would otherwise do when you do not fight with your spouse. Maybe, prepare your beloved’s favorite dish for breakfast and kick start the day with a warm and hearty good morning.
The silence between partners is more damaging than fights. Sometimes, couples build such impregnable walls between them that it becomes literally impossible to get over those to offer the olive branch to your partner. Under such situations, it is always wise to take help from a reliable and trustworthy person or a professional counselor if these things are repeated patterns. To break the ice or, in this case, the stubborn wall of silence. Taking the help of a marriage counselor can also help couples address their issues and encourage them to talk about problems that they otherwise keep under the carpet.
The Two Fs
Perhaps the best one and is mostly done by couples who have really long relationships. This is the best mantra for a successful reconciliation post a fight—forgive and forget i.e., the two Fs. If you wish to pick up the threads of a relationship post a quarrel with your spouse, first you need to learn to forgive and forget. And only when you do that, you can help each other to get past your differences and bolster the relationship. Also, it becomes easy to talk to a partner when you have forgiven him or her, right? But you should also remember to forgive yourself because sometimes you are so engulfed in self-guilt and pity post a fight that it becomes next to impossible to pour your heart out after that incident.
During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-19 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.
However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception. But try it before you disregard this option. This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.
You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!
Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.
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