Marriage Counsellor and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

– Important Relationship Advise Shared by Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo

The love between you and your special one may be flowing smoothly at the moment, but if you want it to continue the same way, it will help to take stock of possible bad habits that could destroy your relationship if you allow them. Even the best of romantic bonds has scope for improvement, so why not analyze your situation for signs of habits that can have tendencies to sabotage your relationship and kick them out before they even get the chance to destroy a good thing?

If you spot them early, you can nullify these bad habits and avoid unintentionally screwing up your relationship. Honestly, there is no better incentive than to do a check-in with your partner to ensure your romance is as healthy as possible.

Delhi’s top marriage counselor and relationship expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo talk about habits that can destroy your relationship if you allow them.

Assuming You Know How Your Partner Feels

You notice that suddenly your partner walked in the room looking gloomy, so naturally, that meant they were unreasonably miffed at you for something you probably did not do. Before you know it, you have launched into defensive mode, and instead of helping to remove the bad vibes, you have managed to spread them, making both you and your partner feel bad.

You should be aware that making assumptions can be damaging to our relationships because they never allow partners to share their situation, which makes them feel unheard.

Refusing To Accept Criticism

It can be really hard to take criticism from the one you love the most, particularly when you see all the shortcomings they have yet to work on. And absolutely no one wants to hear about all the those they mess up constantly. But if your partner is trying to give you some constructive feedback about where they see an area for improvement in the relationship, ignoring their suggestion could possibly lead them to have disrespect for you, which can ultimately break down the bond you share.

Not Communicating Openly About Sex

You need to understand that supposedly the amazing thing you do in bed is actually a major turn-off to your partner, but you or your partner is too uncomfortable to address it. Whatever it requires, talking to your partner openly about your sex life is the only option to improve it. Otherwise, you will continue to suffer in silence and the unaddressed matter could strongly destroy what was once a good thing.

Suppressing Your Anger

As a couple, you often think that things are going great between you and your beloved, and you simply do not want to ruin them by bringing up some unpleasant stuff that could lead to a tense argument. You need to know that being angry is not always a bad thing to do. At times if you are angry can help you share your concerns. It can disallow others from walking all over you. It can motivate you to do something positive. The key is managing your anger in the correct way.

Keeping Score

Not only is this tiresome and nit-picky, but it shows that you do not trust your partner to carry their weight in the relationship. If you feel it necessary to monitor everything your partner does (or do not do) in order to make sure you are being treated fairly, you could be the obstacle in your relationship.

Not Fighting Fair

Silent treatments, gaslighting, stonewalling or yelling during an argument will certainly wear down even the best of partners. If you say you love a person, then those feelings should still be evident even when you are not getting along. Using manipulation tactics will only alienate you and guarantee that whatever rift you are experiencing will only grow further.

Frequently Raking Up The Past

If you cannot let go of what occurred in the past, your relationship could be history sooner or later. Being obsessed with prior arguments or lapse your partner made makes it very difficult to move forward. Consider consulting a couple’s therapist to work through your problems in a healthy manner so you can both approach the future with a clear mind.

Not Allowing Your Partner Personal Space

Quelling your partner because you are worried, they will leave you is one simple way to take your relationship from good to bad and then to non-existent. In fact, giving your partner space is more important for a couple’s happiness and contentment than enjoying great sex life.

P.S. If you are in a relationship with someone you truly love and respect, the last thing you want on your conscience is realizing that you allowed a fixable bad habit to destroy your relationship.

As your kids enter into their teen years, various things will begin to change. To move along and assist your teen to develop in a positive direction, you are required to change your expectations and develop empathy, all the while establishing borderline. Making a safe, supportive, structured, and loving atmosphere are as essential for you as it is for your teenage kids.

Delhi’s top Psychologist and Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares tips to deal with your teenage kids.

Adjusting To Their Independence

Treat them like a teen. Not like a child nor an adult. You need to accept that your teenage kid is not a small child anymore. So, it is essential to adjust your expectations and stop treating them like a child. But teens are not adults as well and are not supposed to be held responsible as an adult. The teenage mind is in the process of a critical stage of development which kids need you to help them through the phase of their lives. They are not developed in their decision-making skills, managing impulsiveness or reasoning. Rather  assuming, they would act and think the way an adult does. Always be ready for possible irrational behaviour.

If you’re not happy because your teenage child keeps making the same mistakes, have some compassion, patience and understand that your teen is still learning a lot and nowhere near being an adult yet. It is a part of being a teenager to learning through failure and mistakes. Frame the unpleasant experiences in their lives as learning opportunities.

Be Flexible With Their Freedom

If your teenage kid is putting an effort and showing their responsibility, practice more freedom. If they are making bad decisions, be more restrictive. Sooner or later, show them that their behaviour gives them freedom or restrictions and their own choices regulate their outcomes. If your teenage kid is asking for permission to do something you are willing to say no to, listen to them out. Tell, “I ‘you are not comfortable with it, and I want you to assure me that you are responsible enough towards what you do.

Similarly, say, “I gave you the freedom and you weren’t ready for it, so we are supposed to scale back now.

Focus On Trust, Not Suspicion

As a parent you need to accept the fact that teenagers can get into a lot of trouble, but do not focus your attention on the bad things alone, they’ve done in the past or the risks they may face. Even if your teen has greatly damaged your trust, it is essential for both of you to restore that trust. If you think your teenage kid may be up to something, ask them to explain it to you fully. Ask questions to seek clarity instead of jumping to conclusions. If you are not certain, tell your teen, “I’m worried, but I am opting to trust you on this.”

Implementing Rules And Consequences

If you are angry, stay calm. Take some time and gather yourself. Have a few deep breaths or walk away and come back when you are calm. This way, you are more capable to give fair and reasonable conversations and consequences. Particularly, if your teenage kid knows how to push your buttons or set you off, it is notably important to keep your cool and not discipline them out of frustration or anger. If you feel angry or upset coming on, tune into your body. Focus where you feel upset, do you have knots in your stomach?, do you tremble? or start sweating? Look for these signs and realize this is time to back off.

In a properly functioning body, sleep helps the brain to process your emotions and memories at the optimum level. When you wake up well-rested your brain maintains a healthy mental and physical energy all throughout your day.

On the other hand, sleep deprivation restricts brain’s ability to do just the superficial activities like sticking to a daily routine work. All throughout the day, the person may find challenges to gather enough mental energy to think and innovate and at night the brain would get so much exhausted that simple relationship activity like conversations with partner, romantic feelings and sexual drive may turn Zero.

Across the world, scientific research is gradually suggesting that sleep may be the biggest factor in maintaining a good relationship. Quality of sleep of either one or both the partners may affect everything from attraction to break-ups. Today India’s leading relationship and marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares how poor sleep can be affecting your relationship.

1.       Poor sleep habits generally turn a person unattractive 

After all nobody like the company of a mentally exhausted person, even the emotionally tired person himself/herself looks for solace. In a relationship too, mental exhaustion that is generally triggered by poor sleeping habits, reduces attraction between partners.

2.       Poor sleep can fuel conflicts. 

Research suggests that sleep deprivation is one of the primary causes of couple conflicts. Poor sleep leads to poor or irritated mood that causes frequent couple conflict, less understanding of partners’ emotions, and poorer conflict resolution.

3.    Sleep issues may increase marital aggression.

People with poor sleep habits often find it hard to control their impulses. This is one of the most discreet triggers for degradation of relationship quality. Scientific studies have confirmed the links between sleep trouble, self-control, and aggressive behaviors. Hence problematic sleep translates to lower self-control, couples suffer from more aggression in their marriages.

4.       Healthy sleep encourages a healthy sex life. 

Behavioral studies have identified that men and women are less likely to be in the mood for sex if they’re sleep deprived. Good and adequate sleep translated to more sexual desire and more likelihood of engaging in sex with a partner. 

We are living in a modern-day world which is fast-paced and there is no getting around it. Everywhere people around us, are working and trying to be as productive as they can. A majority of the individuals these days want to create their marks on the world and sometimes that comes at the expense of their relationships. Particularly, in India, where most people have to work for 6 days a week and have to spend 12-15 hours a day away from home and family.  Not only this, to overcome the challenges of daily needs of this hectic pace world there is a trend where both the married partners are busy professionally too. This kind of scenario left very little time for couples to spend quality time with each other on a consistent note.

Of course, there is no denying that to a lot of people, relationships always take backseats as compared to their careers and their personal ambitions. However, it is still not fair to say that people completely disregard relationships these days. It is just that they are getting a little tougher to manage because so many people are looking to achieve more in various aspects of their life. Still, it is a tricky thing for couples to manage both relationship and job.

So, ideally what should be done. Should one opt for a career or a relationship? Is it possible for two busy professionals who are husband and wife to possibly maintain a romantic life with each other? Or how two individuals who are really busy can sustain their relationship without compromising on the other dimensions of their lives?

Eminent marriage counselor, psychologist and relationship expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo provides some solutions to all the above-mentioned questions. Here they are.

Make It A Point To Arrange Your Dates And Do Not Miss On Them.

Dates are essential. It is called dating for a purpose. You cannot be dating if you do not go out on dates with each other. When you are in a relationship, no matter how hectic and how tight things might get, you got to be able to manage your schedules in a way that provides substantial time for dates. And more important than that, you have to ensure that you do not miss out or cancel dates. When you mark your dates into your schedules, you have to make sure that you always present up (until and unless there is an extreme situation wherein you really have no other option than cancelling it). If it is not a matter of life or death, then everything else in life will have to take a backseat for your date once you agree on a viable schedule for the both of you to meet. Plant a schedule and remain stick to it.

Devote Time For Each Other And The Relationship In Your Regular Routine

Nowadays time is always going to be the most precious thing that we could ever get or give in our lives. Time is not something that we can purchase nor is it something that we can expand or shorten. Whatever time you have you need to properly utilize it. This is why it is important that we only really devote our time for the things that matter most to us. So, if your relationship is really vital to you, then you have to be willing and dedicated to devoting a substantial amount of time to your partner in your regular routine. You got to be able to make time out of your schedule for your relationship if you really want things to work in a nice manner.

Answer The Phone Or Text Whenever It Comes

Very often, a lot of individuals will fall into the trap of responding late or waiting too long to return missed calls. Never let that be the scenario for your relationship. Given your frantic schedules, you have to grab whatever opportunity that you can avail to communicate with one another irrespective of the platform.

Make It A Point To Never Overlook The Minor Things

If you have a habit of relying solely on the grand and bigger moments of the relationship to give you joy and fulfilment, then you are never going to feel happy or content. As someone who is repeatedly busy and is always looking to achieve great things, you always want instant gratification. It is important for you to have results that are on the spot. You cannot afford to carry that kind of mannerisms into your relationships. In a relationship, you got to have the ability to embrace the grind of it all. You need to place emphasis on even the simplest things in the relationship. You ought to give them value. Does not matter how simple the moments that you share with your partner are, you have to treat them like a valued treasure. You cannot take the minor things for granted because you are never going to find pleasure in your relationship that way.

Be Willing To Make A Little Compromises And Sacrifices For Your Partner

Compromises are a part of the relationship. While you must not be willing to sacrifice all of your greatest goals and aspirations for your relationship. At the same time, you cannot act to be rigid and inflexible either. You need to be able to adjust your goals in ways where everybody wins. It cannot always just be about you only. You have to think and take care of the needs of your partner as well. You cannot behave in a selfish manner. You are not supposed to be a person who is not willing to adapt. You have to accept and acknowledge that there are some dimensions of your life that you need to adjust to accommodate another person who is special and you have to be ready to make those adjustments without any ego, bitterness or complaint. You have to do so wholeheartedly.

Today Indian girls are touching skies in the field of the profession, research, army and what not. But still we are socially and culturally programmed where girl’s parents have to spend exaggeratedly on the wedding day, and still, educated Indians have been witnessed to take and give dowry in the name of social customs. 

Unfortunately, following these cultural and social norms, lot of people develop the perception that wedding day is THE VITAL day of their and their loved one’s life. Sadly, people often forget that a wedding day is just, only one day. What truly matters is the fact that man and women’s commitment to spend their rest of life with one another. 

Hence a lot of time, due to months-long mental pressures, tensions, and financial burden for preparing the ONE wedding day, bride and bride’s parents – OFTEN ignore warning signs from the man (bridegroom).  These signs could tell them that the man is not right for the girl. This is one of the major triggers that result in a failed selection of bridegroom in an arranged marriage setup. 

India’s leading relationship and marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares that never ignore any doubt at any point before the wedding. This doubts may come in the form of wedding jitters, bridal nerves, cold feet. But what you shouldn’t do is ignore the fact that your subconscious might be signaling an alarm that something is not right. So yes, pay attention to those lurking doubts you’re having because they’re acting as indicators that trouble might lay ahead!

Here are some of the major warning signs that tell every girl, and her parents that the guy is not right:

1. Cheated once before

The psychological fact states that people’s core nature never changes. If the prospective bridegroom has cheated someone before, there is a very BIG chance that he will repeat the same. Don’t hold wrong expectations if you came across this information, it does not matter if you end up becoming world’s best wife or not in the future, people generally tend to follow their tendencies with due course of time.

2. Puts you down in front of his friends

If you witness the person has the tendency of making fun of you and putting you down in front of friends, remember such an attitude will not contribute in a strong relationship in the future. This will start hurting your self-esteem and later, your relationship with him.

3. Thorough background check

No matter how well you know the guy or your parents know the guy’s family or if he is been referred by your own relatives, never ever proceed with a marriage proposal without a thorough background check. Check particularly the following areas:-

a.       If the guy or his family accurately speak about the guy’s professional situation.

b.      Any history of emotional and physical harming others.

d.      Financial stability.

No matter how hard it may sound but maintaining a wonderful relationship is not easy, especially in today’s fast lifestyle. Without much warning romance can dry out, marital life can turn monotonous and if couples still don’t pay right attention then their marriage can slip from bad to worse.

So how people can identify it’s time for them to give strong attention to their relationship?

India’s eminent relationship expert and marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares that prior to a relationship start to sour, there are certain body language signs that couples exhibits. She shares if couples pay attention to these warning signs, they can identify it’s time to focus hard on their relationship.   

1. Observe the pupils

Generally eyes can tell, a story about one’s relationship. When people are sexually attracted to someone, their pupils generally dilate in the moment of intimacy. The change of pupils happens subconsciously; hence it’s a good indicator of your partner’s interest in you.

So pay attention to your partner’s eye, if you witness the pupils getting shorter when you get intimate or go for a kiss  – remember it may be a sign that something is deeply bothering your partner.  Look for the right moment and discuss if something is bothering your partner.

2. Stonewalling

If a person turns their back on their partner, hangs up the phone before the conversation is over, or tunes out, it is referred to as stonewalling. Not taking your partner’s thoughts or perspective into consideration is a major red flag.

3. Touching neck during conversation

In emotional situations, people have tendency to find ways to comfort ourselves. Especially, women, in particular, typically touch their neck or throat. Oftentimes, touching the neck or throat indicates that someone is keeping something from another person.

4. Conversation and attention

Check how your partner reacts or pay attention to you when you are in conversation with him/her?  If he/she plays with his/her phone, nods without listing or worse, completely ignore you, then you its time you must introspect yourself, try to identify why your partner feels disinterested during the conversation. Sometimes it can be a simple thing like – your partner is too tired to listen to you or he/she doesn’t feel interested on your topic or sometimes it can be something else. Hence talk to your partner if you witness this body language.

5. Leaning away

 Couples from healthy relationship have tendency to lean toward one another with their bodies, legs, shoulder and even chairs. If you or your partner starts to seat away from each other, or even if you both sit in one sofa, your body points in opposite direction to each other – it could mean that you both are disinterested in connecting with each other. Hence it’s an indication that you both must pay full attention to your marriage.

A relationship is an important aspect of human life. The way flower needs rain and sun, similarly, the relationship needs to be nurtured with love and care. A relationship would not survive on its own. It needs nurturing and care of two adults, giving to each other in a manner that creates a mutually beneficial bond.

Renowned relationship expert and marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo says to foster a deep and loving bond you need these 7 ways to nurture your relationship.

1. Constant and Honest Communication:

If you do not talk to your partner the relationship will not survive. The more you communicate, the closer you will become. The communication needs to be constant as this is, the key for a healthy relationship.

2. The Eagerness to work through difficulties and disagreements

Throwing in the towel, even if you do not cross the door, is not the way to happiness. You must face the uncomfortable situation that comes with a difference in opinions and ideas. You need to show the willingness to work out all the questions that pose an unpleasant situation.

3. Sharing Life Lessons with the One You Love

When you discover or experience something about life, or you take a self-correcting step that is good for your relationship, let your partner know the same. You will be amazed by the positive response.

4. A Bit of Humour, Some Fun and Little Distraction from the Rigours Of Daily Life

You should not spend all your free time working on your relationship. Do not make it a hobby. Discuss what you like to do, where you would like to go, and look for how to have fun together. Then get up and do it. A bit of humour and fun will let both of you break the shackles from the daily life hassles.

5. Emotional Support, Acceptance, and Compliments

If you do not feel that your partner likes and respects you, there will not be a strong bond. You have to lift each other up and let each other know the depth of your love and caring. It is important to accept your partner as they are and also, provide them compliments whenever you can.

6. Being Able To Admit Mistake and Discuss Them

We all make mistakes. Isn’t it? By learning to understand it and let go of the mistakes that your partner makes will change your life around and provide you more time to enjoy.

7. Sharing Dreams and Goals That Resonate With Both Of You

You will be happier when you are working toward a goal and achieve that. Always ensure you always have something to look forward to and that you are doing it as a couple.

First comes love, then marriage, and comes happily ever after. This is how the story ends right? It happens in every romantic movie or a bestseller, but not in real life. Though it is true that couples might relax for a while after they have tied the knot. In reality, they may feel to start confused or worried if or when their fairy tale starts to go wrong.

Lots of people think that marriage is about marrying the right person, so when things go wrong, they automatically go downhill. Suddenly, you will start thinking that you have accidentally married the wrong person. And the syndrome of HAPPILY EVER AFTER gets shattered.

Although you always want to marry someone you are fundamentally compatible with. The truth is marriage has a lot less to do with marrying the right individual than it has to do with doing the right things with the person you have married. In simpler words, relationships are a constant work in progress.

In this article renowned marriage counselor and relationship expert, Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares few tips to rekindle your marriage.

1.Avoid Entering Into a Critical Mindset

There could be a time when your partner may do something that hurt you, and never feel sorry for it. Maybe they even continue to do so, despite you letting them know that it annoys you. This can cause you to generate bitterness towards them. At a certain point, any person in a marriage may find themselves observing their partner through a critical lens. Spouses also start magnifying or zooming in on their partner’s mistakes, recording their flaws, and making a case to use at a later stage. It is far too simple when you live in close quarters with someone to choose them apart and get annoyed at some of their habits, wherein the truth is, your partner probably always had those qualities, even when you first fell in love.

2. Treat Your Spouse with Kindness

Rather of being critical, try treating your partner with kindness. As this is the ultimate key to keeping your love alive. It has been observed that taking more loving actions indeed makes you feel more in love. In any conversation with your partner, whether it is personal or practical, always try to be kind in how you convey yourself. This way it softens your partner, even in heated moments. Continuing to be loving and generous has an enormous payoff as it not only keeps love alive, it nourishes a deeper level of intimacy.

3. Stay Clear Of Projection

Projection is a psychological defense system in which people accuse others of behaving or feeling a particular way because, in reality, they themselves feel that way. Projection can stem from difficult childhood experiences that get carried into adulthood. One of the common reason couples become so critical towards their spouse is that they tend to project the negative attribute of their parents or caretakers onto their partners. They also try to assume their spouse will act in the same manner that has hurt them in the past and often misread their partner’s words and actions.

4. Reflect On What You Love and Admire In Your Partner

Think of qualities about your partner you admire or feel amused by. If you like that he/she is adventurous, keep sharing new activities. If you enjoy your partner’s playfulness in your communication, encourage bantering and the exchanging new ideas. If you value that your spouse is warm and affectionate, ensure to connect with them every day, rather than getting caught up in other daily things. Your wife or husband will appreciate your interest in doing things with them that you know they love, and it is possible they will do the same for you.

5. Define Your Problems

Spend a few moments looking at your relationship and figure out which areas work and which don’t. Just imagine of perfect day in your perfect relationship. What would this look like? How would you and your spouse interact? Then develop a plan of how you might get from point X (your current situation) to point Y (the perfect day). Jot it down if you require so, then start breaking the issues into small-size pieces and resolving them one at a time.

Trust usually is the act of establishing confidence and being able to depend on someone or something. Trust is essential for relationships, to function and for any person to be relatively happy. Without trust, insecurity sets in.

Trust is a matter of degree, and certain life experiences can affect an individual’s ability to trust others. The matter of trust and relationships focuses on the question of whether the partners are honest and faithful enough to each other.

Being able to trust your partner is the most essential part of a being in a relationship. Trust is said to be the core foundation of every relationship from which a strong connection can be created. Without trust in a relationship, relationships will not grow and prosper to a deeper level.

Delhi’s Top Marriage Counselor and relationship expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares tips to create trust in a relationship. Here they are.

Communicate Effectively

Communication is an essential factor in creating trust between partners in a relationship. Partners must communicate about their problems instead of sitting on them and brooding. When the time comes for communication, do it face to face. Personal verbal communication bolsters the bond between partners in a relationship.

Try to avoid communicate over emails, phone calls or texts. Instead, make it more personal and direct. When communicating, ensure that you keep eye contact with your partner as frequent eye contact during a discussion increases the bond of partners.

Do Not Hide Secrets from Each Other

Trust needs honesty and openness. If you are looking to build trust in a relationship, you must avoid to keep secrets and be open with your partner. To become a trustworthy partner, you must be honest in all your conversations and dealings with your partner.

Secrets ruin up relationships quite rapidly, so it is important, to be honest, and sincere about issues that arise together or individually. Having an open mind towards your partner assists him or her to share their deep dark secrets which are a sign that they trust you.

Set Boundaries

Defining clear boundaries set together is important to develop trust amongst partners. Setting boundaries help in explaining how much space you are comfortable with, in a relationship, physically and emotionally.

Boundaries can be about any kind of things, how much time you need to be alone, how convenient you feel about your relationship to tell other people and so on. Accepting one another’s boundaries is helpful when it comes to creating trust in the relationship.

Learn To Say No

You need to understand one thing, everything that your partner wants is what you are willing or capable to provide. You do not have to say YES every time to everything your partner wants or asks to do. If you do not like the certain thing he or she proposes to do, simply say no. You should not be enslaved to a relationship. You should not be forced to sustain what you don’t like. When a relationship is based on equality, it will be easier for both of you to march forward.

Do not cater to the vagaries of your partner just to make him or her happy, as this will ruin the relationship.

Never Make Promises You Cannot Keep

Never break your promises. Keep your words and your promises. If you have promised your partner that you are going to do something, ensure that you do it.

It makes a lot of sense that you want to keep promises you have made to your partner, but often the little things you promised get forgotten. Keeping your promises about small things is as important as keeping your promises about the big ones

When you are late, call your partner and tell what is holding you down, remember to pick up those items from the local store and remember to pay the bills on time. Yes these things appear small and it might be overlooked, but they go a very long way towards developing trust in a relationship.

Do Not Cheat On Your Partner

It is in the natural configuration of humans to get attracted to more than one person. But this does not permit you to cheat on your partner. Even if you are bored in the relationship, resolve it up or else walk out of it. But you should not cheat on your partner simply because she/ he is not fun to be with or you do not enjoy his or her company any longer. To develop trust in a relationship, make sure you tell your partner plainly that you are not happy with the way things are amongst the two of you, and need to sort it out, or else, walk out of the relationship.

Take Accountability of Your Actions

Take ownership of your behaviour, action, and inaction. Never try to pass the blame to a situation or someone else. Be true with yourself and to your partner as to why you made your decisions.

Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo is an experienced and certified Couples Therapist with specialization in the area of Personal Crisis interventions like coping-up with Relationship Issues, Marriage Counselling, Separation and divorce, Child and Adolescent issues, Depression, Stress, Domestic, Loss & Grief. Counsellor Shivani is currently working with India’s top hospital groups like Fortis Hospital, IBS (Indian Brain & Spine) Hospital and with Express Clinics.

Whether it relates to your relationships, career, or your own self well-being, knowing how to tough through disturbing situations by finding ways to be emotionally strong can positively impact your life. When it comes to stress, it can affect many people in various ways, some might cry every time they are frustrated or guilty. While others choose to be quiet and hide until they feel good. Though, there is nothing wrong with either of those situations. Being aware of how to manage your emotions and dictate why you are feeling them can help you understand yourself in a better way so that you can stop considering yourself weak.

Emotional strength comes from when you allow yourself to be both independent and dependent. This means developing up your internal resources and becoming comfortable seeking and accepting help,

Learning how to handle life’s misfortunes is a great method to build your emotional strength.

Delhi’s top marriage counsellor and relationship expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo share tips to make yourself emotionally stronger.

Respect the Strength Of Your Past

It becomes difficult to be emotionally strong if you keep living in the past. You need to throw away those thoughts and accept the reality that those struggles made you who you are today, which is a strong, better person. Many a time we have bitterness from the devastation, slavery or even family history of violence and crime. You can instead, respect the struggles and our cultures in a way which are positive. Do not discount the struggle, instead see how it can be a way to respect the strength in your past. If you can honor the strength of the past, you are a result of that past, so you honor yourself and become stronger.

Make Healthy Choices

A lot of your emotional strength generally comes from within. This means you will most likely feel your best if you eat healthily and treat your body with utmost care. Remember that every time you make healthy choices, you actually strengthen yourself. For example, have you selected an apple over a sweet candy, one point scored for becoming stronger? Have you taken a stroll and enjoy the view? Another point scored for resiliency. Honor every time you create a healthy decision.

Help Others in Need

It may sound weird to help other people especially when you are trying to figure out things for yourself. But when you are unselfish you can become strong because the care you show towards others can reverberate and look into caring for your own life, too. Helping others creates empathy and it makes us a better person, over a period of time. This way you become stronger emotionally.

Embrace Your Adversities

Never beat yourself up when things are not going your way. Failing is a part of life and how you look to challenge and accept it can really alter your perspective in a positive manner. Try to practice some positive psychology and start to embrace all your challenges and adversities as your greatest teachers and power for changes.

Identify Your Emotions

Do not look to criticize or punish yourself for having certain feelings. It is natural to feel low, angry or jealous. When you experience any negative emotions, carefully analyze them and figure out what you want your next step to be. Allow yourself to identify and accept every emotion you have and then decide if you want to follow this emotion or let it go.