Marriage Counsellor and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

Key Summary

• The seven vows are not outdated rituals; they reflect timeless principles like trust, respect, and shared responsibility that still define strong relationships today.
• Modern couples interpret these vows in practical ways—through emotional support, financial partnership, and mutual growth.
• The essence of Saptapadi lies in intention, making it a relevant guide for building meaningful and balanced relationships in today’s world.

Are the “Saptapadi” still relevant in 2026? Beyond the ritual, the seven vows of a Hindu marriage contain profound psychological blueprints for partnership, respect, and shared growth. Renowned counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo breaks down each vow, revealing how these sacred pillars can strengthen modern relationships and resolve contemporary conflicts.

Marriage in Hindu tradition is not just a social contract; it is a deeply spiritual commitment rooted in centuries-old rituals and beliefs. One of the most meaningful parts of a Hindu wedding is the Saptapadi—the seven sacred vows taken by the bride and groom as they walk around the holy fire. Each vow represents a promise that shapes the foundation of their life together. While these vows were created in a very different era, their essence continues to hold value even in modern relationships, where expectations, roles, and lifestyles have evolved significantly, shares marriage counsellor and couples therapist in Delhi, Shivani Misri Sadhoo.

Do the 7 sacred vows still matter in modern relationships?

At first glance, these ancient promises may seem symbolic or even outdated in today’s fast-paced, individualistic world. However, when we look closely, each vow addresses timeless aspects of a successful partnership—trust, mutual respect, emotional support, and shared responsibilities.

The language may be traditional, but the intent behind these vows aligns closely with what people still seek in meaningful relationships today. In fact, they offer a grounded framework that can help couples navigate modern challenges like work-life balance, financial stress, and emotional disconnect.

Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo says, “Ancient in words but modern in meaning, the seven sacred vows are not just promises made around the fire—they are lifelong commitments that quietly shape love, resilience, and companionship in every phase of marriage.”

The First Vow: Nourishment and Well-being

The couple promises to provide for each other and ensure a healthy, fulfilling life. In today’s context, this goes beyond physical nourishment. It includes emotional care, mental health support, and encouragement to lead balanced lives. With rising stress levels and demanding careers, this vow feels more relevant than ever.

The Second Vow: Strength and Support

This vow focuses on building physical, mental, and spiritual strength together. Modern relationships thrive when both partners act as pillars of support during tough times. Whether it’s career setbacks or personal struggles, standing by each other is still one of the strongest indicators of a lasting bond.

The Third Vow: Prosperity and Wealth

Traditionally, this vow emphasised earning and managing wealth together. Today, it reflects financial partnership—shared goals, transparency in money matters, and mutual decision-making. In an age where both partners often contribute financially, this vow reinforces equality and teamwork.

The Fourth Vow: Love and Mutual Respect

The couple promises to cherish and respect each other. In modern times, respect has become the backbone of any relationship. Love alone is not enough; understanding boundaries, valuing individuality, and maintaining dignity in disagreements are crucial elements that echo this vow.

The Fifth Vow: Family and Responsibility

This vow is about nurturing family and fulfilling responsibilities toward children and elders. While family structures may have changed, the idea of shared responsibility remains important. It now includes supporting each other’s ambitions while balancing personal and family commitments.

The Sixth Vow: Health and Longevity

Here, the couple prays for a long and healthy life together. Today, it can be interpreted as encouraging healthy habits, emotional stability, and being mindful of each other’s well-being. It also subtly reminds couples to invest time in their relationship despite busy schedules.

The Seventh Vow: Lifelong Companionship and Loyalty

The final vow seals the bond with a promise of lifelong friendship, trust, and loyalty. In contemporary relationships, this vow resonates deeply. Beyond romance, couples today seek companionship—a partner who understands them, grows with them, and stands by them through every phase of life.

Why These Vows Still Hold Meaning?

Even in a world where relationships are constantly being redefined, the core principles behind the seven vows remain unchanged. They speak about partnership rather than dominance, commitment rather than convenience, and growth rather than dependency. What has changed is how these vows are interpreted and practised.

Bridging Tradition with Modern Reality

Today’s couples may not consciously remember each vow they take during the ceremony, but they live them in different ways. Whether it’s sharing household responsibilities, supporting each other’s careers, or prioritising mental health, these actions reflect the same values embedded in the vows. The tradition, therefore, is not outdated—it has simply evolved.

Good communication is the foundation of a healthy and happy marriage. Yet, as daily responsibilities pile up—work, children, family obligations—it’s easy for couples to fall into a routine where meaningful conversation takes a backseat. If you’ve found yourself exchanging only the bare minimum with your wife discussing bills, chores, or logistics it’s time to pause and reflect. Strong, open communication helps build trust, deepen emotional intimacy, and prevent misunderstandings that can lead to bigger conflicts, reveals leading relationship expert and marriage counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo.

Why Communication Is Important With Your Wife?

Communication is not just about talking—it’s about connecting. When you make an effort to listen and share with your wife truly, you nurture emotional closeness. Regular and meaningful communication allows both partners to express their needs, concerns, dreams, and even disappointments in a safe space.

Without this, small issues can develop into significant problems. Good communication reduces unnecessary tension, fosters teamwork, and keeps the bond between you strong even during life’s toughest challenges. For many couples, a lack of communication is at the heart of emotional distance and marital dissatisfaction.

Ways to Improve Your Daily Communication

• Make Time for Conversations—No Matter How Busy You Are – Set aside at least 10-15 minutes each day where you both can talk without distractions. This could be during breakfast, after dinner, or before bedtime. The key is to be consistent. Even small, daily check-ins can make your wife feel heard and valued.

• Listen to Understand, Not to React – When your wife shares something, focus on listening carefully rather than planning your response. Avoid interrupting or offering solutions right away. Sometimes, she may just need you to listen with empathy.

• Express Appreciation Regularly – Often, we overlook the power of small words like “thank you,” “I appreciate you,” or “you did a great job.” Expressing gratitude not only makes your wife feel seen but also strengthens positivity in the relationship.

• Use “I” Statements Instead of “You” Statements – When discussing a sensitive topic, say “I feel hurt when…” rather than “You always make me feel…”. This reduces defensiveness and encourages healthier dialogue.

• Be Honest but Kind – Open communication means being honest about your feelings, but always with respect. If something is bothering you, share it gently instead of letting resentment build.

• Ask Open-Ended Questions – Rather than yes/no questions, ask “How was your day?” or “What’s on your mind lately?”. This invites richer conversations and shows genuine interest in her thoughts and feelings.

• Limit Screen Time When Together– Put down your phone or switch off the TV when she’s talking. Giving her your undivided attention shows that you value what she has to say.

• Learn Her Communication Style – Some people like to process out loud; others need time before they’re ready to talk. Understanding how your wife prefers to communicate can help you connect more effectively.

Improving daily communication doesn’t require grand gestures—it’s about small, consistent efforts that show your wife she matters to you. Over time, these habits can bring warmth, closeness, and resilience to your marriage.

We are living in a modern-day world which is fast-paced, and there is no getting around it. Everywhere, people around us are working and trying to be as productive as they can. A majority of individuals these days want to create their mark on the world, and sometimes that comes at the expense of their relationships.

Particularly, in India, where most people have to work for 6 days a week and have to spend 12-15 hours a day away from home and family.  Not only this, to overcome the challenges of the daily needs of this hectic pace world, there is a trend where both married partners are busy professionally too. This kind of scenario left very little time for couples to spend quality time with each other on a consistent basis.

Of course, there is no denying that to a lot of people, relationships always take a backseat as compared to their careers and their personal ambitions. However, it is still not fair to say that people completely disregard relationships these days. It is just that they are getting a little tougher to manage because so many people are looking to achieve more in various aspects of their lives. Still, it is a tricky thing for couples to manage both a relationship and a job.

So, ideally, what should be done. Should one opt for a career or a relationship? Is it possible for two busy professionals who are husband and wife to maintain a romantic life with each other? Or how two individuals who are really busy can sustain their relationship without compromising on the other dimensions of their lives?

Eminent marriage counsellor, psychologist and relationship expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo provides some solutions to all the above-mentioned questions. Here they are.

Make It A Point To Arrange Your Dates And Do Not Miss them.

Dates are essential. It is called dating for a purpose. You cannot be dating if you do not go out on dates with each other. When you are in a relationship, no matter how hectic and how tight things might get, you have to be able to manage your schedules in a way that provides substantial time for dates. And more importantly, you have to ensure that you do not miss out or cancel dates.

When you mark your dates into your schedules, you have to make sure that you always present up (until and unless there is an extreme situation wherein you really have no other option than cancelling it). If it is not a matter of life or death, then everything else in life will have to take a backseat for your date once you agree on a viable schedule for both of you to meet. Plant a schedule and stick to it.

Devote Time to Each Other And The Relationship In Your Regular Routine

Nowadays, time is always going to be the most precious thing that we could ever get or give in our lives. Time is not something that we can purchase, nor is it something that we can expand or shorten. Whatever time you have, you need to properly utilise it. This is why it is important that we only really devote our time for the things that matter most to us. So, if your relationship is really vital to you, then you have to be willing and dedicated to devoting a substantial amount of time to your partner in your regular routine. You got to be able to make time out of your schedule for your relationship if you really want things to work in a nice manner.

Answer The Phone Or Text Whenever It Comes

Very often, a lot of individuals will fall into the trap of responding late or waiting too long to return missed calls. Never let that be the scenario for your relationship. Given your frantic schedules, you have to grab whatever opportunity you can avail to communicate with one another, irrespective of the platform.

Make It A Point To Never Overlook The Minor Things

If you have a habit of relying solely on the grand and bigger moments of the relationship to give you joy and fulfilment, then you are never going to feel happy or content. As someone who is repeatedly busy and is always looking to achieve great things, you always want instant gratification. It is important for you to have results that are on the spot.

You cannot afford to carry those kinds of mannerisms into your relationships. In a relationship, you got to have the ability to embrace the grind of it all. You need to place emphasis on even the simplest things in the relationship. You ought to give them value. Does not matter how simple the moments that you share with your partner are, you have to treat them like a valued treasure. You cannot take the minor things for granted because you are never going to find pleasure in your relationship that way.

Be Willing To Make A Little Compromise And Sacrifices For Your Partner

Compromises are a part of the relationship. You must not be willing to sacrifice all of your greatest goals and aspirations for your relationship. At the same time, you cannot act to be rigid and inflexible either. You need to be able to adjust your goals in ways that everybody wins. It cannot always just be about you only. You have to think and take care of the needs of your partner as well. You cannot behave selfishly. You are not supposed to be a person who is not willing to adapt. You have to accept and acknowledge that there are some dimensions of your life that you need to adjust to accommodate another person who is special, and you have to be ready to make those adjustments without any ego, bitterness or complaint. You have to do so wholeheartedly.