Tag Archive : Saarthi Counselling Services

Are You Afraid of the Darkness? Know the Symptoms and Treatment of Nyctophobia

While being afraid of the dark might be a part of normal development in some young children, this is not the case for older children and adults. Nyctophobia is basically an age-inappropriate fear of darkness that can force someone to limit their activities, avoid specific circumstances, and experience anxiety in the anticipation of there being lying something dangerous and no light.

Psychologist Shivani says it is when the concern crosses over from being an inborn protective technic to being a clinical issue that it is designated as a phobia.

This blog specifically revolves around Nyctophobia, and India’s top Psychologist and Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo talks about the causes and treatment for the same.

Causes

Nyctophobia, also known as scotophobia, lygophobia, and achluophobia. This may be evolutionary in nature as several predators hunt at night. The fear might not be linked to darkness itself but unknown dangers are hidden in the darkness (this is why horror and suspense movies generally use darkness as a way to scare audiences). A general lack of security and confidence also plays into this as well, particularly if you tend to be afraid of the dark mostly while alone.

Psychoanalytic believes that fear of the dark could be related to the separation anxiety from a primary attachment figure, a phenomenon that has been detailed further.

Symptoms and Diagnosis

Symptoms of nyctophobia differs from individual to individual and according to the severity of a specific case. In general, symptoms of nyctophobia includes:

·         Getting nervous in any darkened surroundings.

·         Being reluctant to go out at night.

·         Experiencing physiological symptoms like increased heart rate, sweating, visible shaking, and also feeling ill (nausea, headaches, and diarrhea) when forced to spend some time in the dark.

·         Need to put on the light at night while sleeping.

Symptoms of during more severe cases of nyctophobia include:

·         Trying to run away from dark areas or rooms.

·         Getting angry or defensive if anyone tries to force or tease you to spend time in the dark.

·         Compulsively staying back indoors at night.

Nyctophobia has certain diagnostic criteria that are common to every phobia, which separates them from simple fears.

Treatment

The aim of therapy is to challenge the fearful beliefs about the dark by replacing the negative self-talk with more positive ones. The rate of successful treatment for certain phobias such as nyctophobia is approximately 90% and mostly accomplished with the help of techniques drawn from the cognitive-behavioral school therapy.

The treatment plan your therapist would recommend for you or your child could include:

·         Exposure to the dark in bits, incremental, non-threatening doses in a method called desensitization.

·         1-on-1 talk therapy, family therapy, or even group therapy.

·         Learning relaxation techniques, like deep breathing, meditation, or yoga.

·         Medications such as anti-anxiety and antidepressant.

If you are struggling due to any sort of phobia or other psychological issues. Do not hide them. Rather, you do not need to panic, you should seek some help from a qualified psychologist.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-10 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high. 

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service! 

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

Identifying Depression: 5 Signs You Should Never Ignore

Suggests Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

When one thinks of depression, the most widespread emotion to describe this condition is sadness. This problematic mindset causes several people, with or without depression, to think that is all there is to it.

But counselor Shivani says depression is far more than only sadness. The truth is that depression encompasses various symptoms. Some are physical, while some are emotional. What is more, is that sadness or feeling “the blues” may only sometimes apply. Some symptoms of depression that can manifest with depression may honestly surprise you. Therefore, it is important to consider the signs to identify depression and why you must not ignore them.

In this blog, India’s eminent Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares her insights on identifying depression.

Here, they are.

Anger

Anger appears to be the polar opposite of sadness, and yet, anger is a sign of depression. The reason why is complicated. Mostly, depression causes a person to feel powerless, which compounds various issues. When one feels powerless to do anything about his/her situation, they act out. You frequently live on a short fuse, ready to lash out at any given time. Another reason is that anger serves as a kind of emotional protection. If you lash out at someone, they do not have the chance to hurt you emotionally.

Work

Most of you have to work to make a living. Well, what about when you overwork? Do you put in long and unwanted hours at the office, or even have a part-time job to stay busy? What about volunteering for some organizations in your free time? For some, the idea of having nothing to do is terrifying. Chiefly because work serves as a distraction from experiencing the feelings that one has.

Focusing

For a few, the effects of depression cause them only to pay attention to what they are feeling. In entire reality, they will welcome a distraction not to have to think about it why they are depressed. This lack of focus might also make it difficult for one to make decisions. You might feel so overwhelmed by making even easier choices.

Diet

Another visible symptom of depression that you should never ignore is diet. But how can your food be a depression symptom? Just think about it, have you ever felt so stressed that you ended up mindlessly eating? Is constant snacking an issue? When you do eat, do you opt for nutritious foods or those filled with sugar, high salt, fat, and empty carbohydrates? On the one hand, a poor diet selection will affect your body and your mindset. While on other hand, your body and mindset will affect your eating habits, as well.

Lethargy

Mostly, people who report feeling depressed say that they have less or no energy. They cannot gather the energy to get out of the house, let alone work effectively. It is an interesting physiological association between the body and the mind. If earlier you used to have lots of energy but are now struggling, then it might be a sign of depression.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-10 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high. 

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service! 

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

Beware of your Fatigue and Sleeplessness -it could be the Sign of Burnout

In the past 4-5 months, a large percentage of the population is complaining sleeplessness, frequent migraine, headache, body ache, lack of motivation, poor attention level etc. Many people are fighting against these odds while some are trying to accept it by telling themselves it’s natural to have poor sleep, fatigue, lack of interest etc during the pandemic and we can do nothing about it.

According to India’s leading psychologist and counsellor, Shivani Misri Sadhoo poor sleep, frequent migraine, fatigue could be the signs of burnout – and it’s a serious issue.

Counselor Shivani adds that burnout is a state of mental and physical exhaustion that weakens a person’s social and personal capacity to work on a day to day basis. Burnout can also be defined as severe stress conditions.

Unlike cold and fever, burnout does not happen in a single day, generally, it’s a result of prolonged stress levels. Commonly people ignore burnout in its initial stages, as they may perceive it as harmless and manageable. But in later stages, burnout can cause adverse mental and physical damage.

To identify burnout there are some of its common signs: –

1.       Chronic fatigue. 

Burnout starts with the feeling of tiredness in your day to day activity. Gradually the tiredness converts into physical and emotional exhaustion and frequent feeling of drained and depleted of life energy.

2.       Sleeping issues

At the beginning of burnout, symptoms start with the difficulty of falling asleep, then staying asleep half, one or two nights a week. In the latter stages, insomnia may turn into a persistent, nightly ordeal; as exhausted as you are, you can’t sleep.

3.       Loss of Focus and Concentration

Lack of focus and mild forgetfulness are early signs. Later, the problems may get to the point where you can’t get your work done and everything begins to pile up.

4.       Physical symptoms

Physical symptoms may include chest pain, heart palpitations, shortness of breath, gastrointestinal pain, dizziness, headaches (all of which should be medically assessed).

5.       Frequently falling ill

Since the normal body’s life energy is depleted, the immune system starts to weaken and that makes the body vulnerable to infections, colds, and other immune-related medical problems.

6.       Anxiety

In the beginning, burnout may show mild symptoms of tension but as you go to the later stages of burnout, the anxiety can turn extreme.

7.       Depression

Burnout starts with mild sadness and occasionally hopeless feelings but with times people may display extreme depression signs.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-10 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help.  Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high. 

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option.  Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service! 

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

How to Stop the Feeling of Desperation When You are Single?

You have just turned 30 or even are of more than 30 and you are still single, whereas, all of your friends and colleagues are married, engaged, or are already committed and dating someone. Even though you are happy, confident, and have an active social life, but you are slowly or rapidly starting to worry that there is not anyone out there for you. The situation can become worse and tricky more so when you also end up countering questions be it from your family, relatives or friends when are you going to get married or even seeking out for a steady relationship.

Relationship Expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo says these kind of thoughts or questions are at times good enough to suddenly rattle your mind and you start to question yourself regarding your own abilities and it reaches a point when you also look to seek validation from others by asking questions like “Am I good enough” or “Is there something lacking in me” and several other questions.

Today in this blog Delhi’s eminent Psychologist and Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo tells how can you continue to date in hopes of finding a good and stable relationship without appearing desperate.

Here, are few ways that will help you how to stop the feeling of desperation when you are single?

To Start with the Benefits of Being Single

Every place you see, from movies to magazines, you are mostly told that being in a relationship equals being happy. The good news! That’s 100% not correct.

You have probably heard it earlier, but the only way to put your finest self out there is to first get comfortable with yourself and your alone or me time.

Rather than focusing on what you do not have, think about what is great about you and your life currently. Being single has numerous perks. Taking sudden road trips and being the driver of your own life and destiny

Whenever you feeling sad or desperate, always remember those good points. It will take some time and practice, but almost every negative thought about being single can be switched to a good one.

What is more based on life various life experiences discovered that finding love is not about wearing the proper outfit, going to the best restaurant for a first date, or waiting 5 days after that date to text. It is about looking inside you and asking yourself 2 major questions.

What Parts of Life Matters to Me?

Once you have thought and identified about the following 6 areas of your life, you will have better clarity of what you are all about, which will also assist you to identify compatibilities in a potential partner.

  • Money
  • Faith
  • Family
  • Lifestyle
  • Profession
  • Health

How do you see each core area? Where do your values, priorities, and goals of life are places? Are you happy and satisfied with your priorities, or do you need any of them to change?

Next, ask yourself which 2 aspects stand out the most in terms of how you want to spend your life in the future. Remember that there are no correct or incorrect answers here, or opinions.

From that list, you may end up being attracted to someone who appears nothing like what you thought was your “kind”. It has been found that partners who share beliefs about those values are more likely to stay together over the longer course.

Remember, a couple can share all-important life values even when they have contrasting interests and hobbies, and even when they are of 2 different races, religions, or have quite a dissimilar social background.

What is that I Need or Want in a Partner?

Do you actually know how the right person would look like if you meet them today? The majority of the people do not take out time to think about what they want in a romantic relationship. In an attempt to open yourself up to a connection and not feeling desperate, decide exactly what you need or want in your partner.

Defining that person, you want to be with is a bit like making a list before you head to the store. It streamlines the procedure, keeps you away from making random or desperate selections, and prevents you from wasting time and also money, the last thing you want at the store or even in dating.

Get yourself a piece of paper and divide it into 2 columns. On the left, list a minimum of 5 must-have qualities that you require in a partner. Do that person’s age and appearance matter? What about personality traits? Would you prefer someone sensitive, inquisitive, easygoing, adventurous, or street smart?

In the right column, list another 5 deal-breakers. Maybe it is like drinking or smoking cigarettes, being in a financial problem, having terrible behavior, or usually, being closed-minded. These are the 5 things that, as good as you try, you simply cannot tolerate or allow in a partner.

When you meet a new person, this list will become a handy tool. It will remind you to ensure your needs are being met. Rather than worrying about what your date thinks about you, as you may have done before, your list will assist you to determine if that person could fit into the future you envision.

Key Thing

In the end, by understanding knowing yourself and what matters to you both in life and in a partner, you will feel far less desperate and anxious. When you move around with a positive attitude, you will find the right person for you. Please be assured they are out there.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-10 spread, your very own counselor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help.  Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high. 

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option.  Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service! 

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

Four Alarming Signs of a Needy and Desperate Man

Be it arrange marriage scenario or online dating, sometimes a girl meets a man who seems too much in a hurry to let the relationship happen. Such men may talk about planning children, ask for physical intimacy even before knowing you properly.

They never seem bothered or willing to understand what a woman feels about them. Surely, they are a real turn off for every woman, but if you are confused if you are making the right decision or not, Delhi’s eminent Marriage Counsellor and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares fours signs to identify if the man is needy and desperate.

Repeated Sweet Talker

After the first date, this man will talk sweet, but ‘every time’. Yes, this is the first sign that he simply cannot do without you ever. If post the first few dates, a man is repeatedly texting you throughout the day, explaining to you that he is busy thinking about you, imagining his life with you, and is more than eager to meet you every now and then ( makes you feel embarrassed outside your workplace with gifts or bunch of flowers), well, actually he is way too desperate and clingy. Think about it, either the man is simply trying to get hooked on, or he is desperately in need of a woman.

I Need You Too

He wants to be with you even when you are with your friends. Which person does not like a small gathering time with friends, without their partner? But what when your man is more than willing and adamant to be a part of your girl gang, even when he is uninvited. Just think what you would ever feel if your friend brings along her date when your girl group is having that bonding time. Won’t you think, he cannot even leave her alone for once.

Looking to do Things Faster

Has he initiated talks about the future like sex, moving in, marriage, children, and finances all too soon? Actually, there he is, this man wants it all at once and instantly, actually, he falls in the category “needs it now”. He needs you to the extent of not trying or thinking to even wait for you to think about them or time to pass before he even understands you better.

No More with Friends

Does he look to stay away from friends for you? Initially, it probably sounds really wonderful about him. After all who does not like a man who prioritizes his date over his friends. But if he is the type who cancels every single plan with his friend only for you, that’s an alarm that the man is Mr. Needy. Come to think of it, he is about to create a relationship with you where he has convinced you he is fine with lying all day on that couch with you rather than being with his friends when he is supposed to do so (always, that is). And soon, he will ask you to do the same.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-10 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help.  Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high. 

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option.  Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service! 

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.


Ways to Change the Dynamics in an Abusive Relationship

Partners in abusive relationships undergo never-ending trauma. These relationships can seriously undermine your self-esteem, but some individuals come to them with low self-esteem already, because of the trauma or dysfunctional parenting during their childhood. They believe that they are actually inferior and that what they feel, think, and want is less essential than what others do. That is their hidden shame.

As a result, they keep an unconscious belief that they do not really deserve to be loved simply for who they are, but that they need to earn love. This causes fundamental insecurity and fear of being abandoned.

Abuse and withholding love places partners in a reactive mode, focusing on their partner, walking over eggshells, and trying to hide who they are. They consistently try to control the uncontrollable, sacrifice their interests, and try hard to please others and feel accepted.

Few abusers fluctuate between idealizing-caring and devaluing-rejecting behavior. Rather than acting needy, other abusers act either demandingly needy or needless. They are callous and can be remote and emotionally cold. Some could show friendliness toward their partner, while others are consistently critical and contemptuous.

The dynamics in an abusive relationship increase partners’ stress and escalate their efforts to appease and help their partner. Over time, the truth of the addict or personality disordered individual begins to infect the partner’s self-concept and perceptions of reality, also. Their self-esteem is degraded, and they become anxious and drained attempting to abate a crisis, avoid abuse, and hold the relationship together.

The more partners do this, the worse things become. They deny their own sorrows and prevent the abuser from taking accountability for their behavior, needs, and feelings and from availing help. This is called enabling. Moreover, denial blinds them to the point that their beliefs and behavior contribute to their own unhappiness and that they have choices to change.

Today, Delhi based Psychologist and Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo tell about the ways to change the dynamics of an abusive relationship.

The trick is doing just the opposite of what comes naturally to victims of abuse. Here are some ways.

Avail Support

First and most importantly is not to isolate. It is difficult—virtually impossible—to alter the dynamics in abusive relationships without external support. Avail support to see another view of truth, because partners become isolated and confused due to the attacks, threats, and manipulated reality of the abuser.

Focus on Your Recovery

Change does not really start until partners pay attention to their own recovery, not in transforming the other person, over whom they are essentially powerless. This does not mean that they do not have any power or option, but itis over their own actions and lives.

Detach

Detaching does not need leaving or being aloof. It is like having an invisible, protecting strength field. Rather than reacting, you detach and do not react to what other person decides to throw at you just because they are uncomfortable in their own skin. You start to realize that although their words may hurt, they are not real.

Learn and Accept

It is essential to learn all you can about abuse. Learning about it and accepting the reality at a deep level lets you come out of denial.

Meet Your Requirements

You start to honor what you need, feel, and want. You meet those requirements from people who are safe and supportive. This will boost your self-esteem. You no longer feel or think like a victim and become empowered.

Become Assertive

As your self-worth increases, you learn to be assertive. Your horizons improve, and you ask for what you need and set restrictions on what you do not. This is not easy, but your courage helps and grows in recovery. You can get strong enough to leave or suggest that your partner get treatment.

Even when you stay in the relationship, you find that your life is happier, because you have taken control of your own self-esteem and sense of well-being.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-10 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help.  Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high. 

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option.  Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service! 

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.


Best marriage counselor in Delhi Image

How to Fall in Love in an Arranged Marriage?

Key Marriage & Relationship Tips by Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo

Ask anyone if love in an arranged marriage is feasible, and the chances are high that you will hear them quip, that ‘love’ and ‘arranged’ are as distant as night and day. The typical wisdom of 21st century leans towards the argument that in order to have love in marriage you need to first fall in love. In spite of the high number of opinions though, it has been observed that arranged marriages have substantial success in India, despite the fact the many live with the perception it as a ‘forced marriage’. In spite of all, Indians still prefer getting hitched the good and old arranged way.

The question arises is if an arranged marriage really works, then how long it takes for the couple to fall in love? To be honest there are no fixed formulas. But there are few conditions and pre conditions that may help you to fall in love with lightning speed.

In this article today Delhi’s top marriage counselor and relationship expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo talks about how to fall in love in an arranged marriage.

You Had Arranged Dating

This is an IDEAL way of making sure that you are in love in an arranged marriage, with your to-be life partner, before you actually tie the knot. Arranged dating is normally the dates you go on during the phase that falls between your engagement and wedding or once your wedding is finalized. Because it is an arranged marriage, you have complete consent of your family members and therefore you can feel comfortable yet secure when on such dates. In case you are someone who is planning to tie the knot soon, you can request for an ‘engagement-wedding’ combo so that you get some time in between to know your partner well and maybe discuss post-marriage issues as well.

You Express Your Heart Out To Your Life Partner

You have no reluctance about sharing your shady past because you feel your partner has all the right to know it. At the same time, you are not about your other half for their back story, rather you allow things to go with the flow. This is a hallmark of a successful marriage, which is made of two individuals that trust (more about it later) and love each other. Be transparent, speak your heart out, share your thoughts, and you will realize you have developed enough love to make everyone around to believe you had a mushy love marriage.

You Share the Same Passion

This must be the ticket to love in an arranged marriage, and followed up matrimonial bliss since both of you are on the same page. If she is into bird watching and you remotely endorse it, then this is the time you cultivate that hobby as well so that you can hit a common note with her. Sharing and having the same passion is certainly going to bring you closer, eventually making you fall for each other? But it is not necessary always that you need to be compatible in terms of likes and dislikes.

Dedicate Time for Each Other’s Hobbies

Instead of putting up an act of how much you loathe some of your partner’s hobbies, take out time and effort in adopting them yourself. If he enjoys playing games on PlayStation, sit with him and ask him to tell you about the game controllers and teach you. You will just establish your place in his heart forever, girl! Even a slight display of approval to your partner’s hobbies is the best way to fall in love in an arranged marriage, while you are still figuring out each other.

You Give Each Other Independence

Definitely, it is great to do bird watching and gaming together, but no one requires a clingy life partner. In fact, the most loving relationships are those where the partners who give some ‘separate and away’ time to each other with respect and honour. Always bear in mind, that you are two individuals who have your very own social circles and obligations. Letting your partner have their ME time is the best way to make your love stronger. Your relationship will then be like the two ends of a rubber band, the farther they are stretched, the stronger they come back towards each other.

Trust and Mutual Respect Is At The Core Of Your Relationship

When you see each other from the corner of the eye just to keep a watch on each other? Now, this is a lack of trust and respect. Trust should be an element constituting the bond between both of you and trust itself must be backed by mutual respect if you want love in an arranged marriage. Arranged marriages are infamous for situations where the husband forcibly avails his ‘husband rights’, while the wife always has ‘who was she?’ question on the tip of her tongue. Make it a habit to never discount or downgrade your respect and trust for each other, which will eventually form the base of your mutual love.

Learn Things and Help Each Other

You provide a helping hand to your partner with zeal and promptness, and you will have your partner more than impressed; absolutely flattered maybe. It will also make your tag of being a truly loving life partner and not just someone is thrown into a sphere of matrimony because it was all arranged. Bring some love to your partner, and you will realize that you just brought a perception shift in the drab image of arranged marriage.

You Invest Good Time to Understand Each Other

Habits That Can Destroy Your Relationship if You Allow Them

– Important Relationship Advise Shared by Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo

The love between you and your special one may be flowing smoothly at the moment, but if you want it to continue the same way, it will help to take stock of possible bad habits that could destroy your relationship if you allow them. Even the best of romantic bonds has scope for improvement, so why not analyze your situation for signs of habits that can have tendencies to sabotage your relationship and kick them out before they even get the chance to destroy a good thing?

If you spot them early, you can nullify these bad habits and avoid unintentionally screwing up your relationship. Honestly, there is no better incentive than to do a check-in with your partner to ensure your romance is as healthy as possible.

Delhi’s top marriage counselor and relationship expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo talk about habits that can destroy your relationship if you allow them.

Assuming You Know How Your Partner Feels

You notice that suddenly your partner walked in the room looking gloomy, so naturally, that meant they were unreasonably miffed at you for something you probably did not do. Before you know it, you have launched into defensive mode, and instead of helping to remove the bad vibes, you have managed to spread them, making both you and your partner feel bad.

You should be aware that making assumptions can be damaging to our relationships because they never allow partners to share their situation, which makes them feel unheard.

Refusing To Accept Criticism

It can be really hard to take criticism from the one you love the most, particularly when you see all the shortcomings they have yet to work on. And absolutely no one wants to hear about all the those they mess up constantly. But if your partner is trying to give you some constructive feedback about where they see an area for improvement in the relationship, ignoring their suggestion could possibly lead them to have disrespect for you, which can ultimately break down the bond you share.

Not Communicating Openly About Sex

You need to understand that supposedly the amazing thing you do in bed is actually a major turn-off to your partner, but you or your partner is too uncomfortable to address it. Whatever it requires, talking to your partner openly about your sex life is the only option to improve it. Otherwise, you will continue to suffer in silence and the unaddressed matter could strongly destroy what was once a good thing.

Suppressing Your Anger

As a couple, you often think that things are going great between you and your beloved, and you simply do not want to ruin them by bringing up some unpleasant stuff that could lead to a tense argument. You need to know that being angry is not always a bad thing to do. At times if you are angry can help you share your concerns. It can disallow others from walking all over you. It can motivate you to do something positive. The key is managing your anger in the correct way.

Keeping Score

Not only is this tiresome and nit-picky, but it shows that you do not trust your partner to carry their weight in the relationship. If you feel it necessary to monitor everything your partner does (or do not do) in order to make sure you are being treated fairly, you could be the obstacle in your relationship.

Not Fighting Fair

Silent treatments, gaslighting, stonewalling or yelling during an argument will certainly wear down even the best of partners. If you say you love a person, then those feelings should still be evident even when you are not getting along. Using manipulation tactics will only alienate you and guarantee that whatever rift you are experiencing will only grow further.

Frequently Raking Up The Past

If you cannot let go of what occurred in the past, your relationship could be history sooner or later. Being obsessed with prior arguments or lapse your partner made makes it very difficult to move forward. Consider consulting a couple’s therapist to work through your problems in a healthy manner so you can both approach the future with a clear mind.

Not Allowing Your Partner Personal Space

Quelling your partner because you are worried, they will leave you is one simple way to take your relationship from good to bad and then to non-existent. In fact, giving your partner space is more important for a couple’s happiness and contentment than enjoying great sex life.

P.S. If you are in a relationship with someone you truly love and respect, the last thing you want on your conscience is realizing that you allowed a fixable bad habit to destroy your relationship.

7 WAYS TO NURTURE YOUR RELATIONSHIP

A relationship is an important aspect of human life. The way flower needs rain and sun, similarly, the relationship needs to be nurtured with love and care. A relationship would not survive on its own. It needs nurturing and care of two adults, giving to each other in a manner that creates a mutually beneficial bond.

Renowned relationship expert and marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo says to foster a deep and loving bond you need these 7 ways to nurture your relationship.

1. Constant and Honest Communication:

If you do not talk to your partner the relationship will not survive. The more you communicate, the closer you will become. The communication needs to be constant as this is, the key for a healthy relationship.

2. The Eagerness to work through difficulties and disagreements

Throwing in the towel, even if you do not cross the door, is not the way to happiness. You must face the uncomfortable situation that comes with a difference in opinions and ideas. You need to show the willingness to work out all the questions that pose an unpleasant situation.

3. Sharing Life Lessons with the One You Love

When you discover or experience something about life, or you take a self-correcting step that is good for your relationship, let your partner know the same. You will be amazed by the positive response.

4. A Bit of Humour, Some Fun and Little Distraction from the Rigours Of Daily Life

You should not spend all your free time working on your relationship. Do not make it a hobby. Discuss what you like to do, where you would like to go, and look for how to have fun together. Then get up and do it. A bit of humour and fun will let both of you break the shackles from the daily life hassles.

5. Emotional Support, Acceptance, and Compliments

If you do not feel that your partner likes and respects you, there will not be a strong bond. You have to lift each other up and let each other know the depth of your love and caring. It is important to accept your partner as they are and also, provide them compliments whenever you can.

6. Being Able To Admit Mistake and Discuss Them

We all make mistakes. Isn’t it? By learning to understand it and let go of the mistakes that your partner makes will change your life around and provide you more time to enjoy.

7. Sharing Dreams and Goals That Resonate With Both Of You

You will be happier when you are working toward a goal and achieve that. Always ensure you always have something to look forward to and that you are doing it as a couple.

Tips To Make Yourself Emotionally Stronger

Whether it relates to your relationships, career, or your own self well-being, knowing how to tough through disturbing situations by finding ways to be emotionally strong can positively impact your life. When it comes to stress, it can affect many people in various ways, some might cry every time they are frustrated or guilty. While others choose to be quiet and hide until they feel good. Though, there is nothing wrong with either of those situations. Being aware of how to manage your emotions and dictate why you are feeling them can help you understand yourself in a better way so that you can stop considering yourself weak.

Emotional strength comes from when you allow yourself to be both independent and dependent. This means developing up your internal resources and becoming comfortable seeking and accepting help,

Learning how to handle life’s misfortunes is a great method to build your emotional strength.

Delhi’s top marriage counsellor and relationship expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo share tips to make yourself emotionally stronger.

Respect the Strength Of Your Past

It becomes difficult to be emotionally strong if you keep living in the past. You need to throw away those thoughts and accept the reality that those struggles made you who you are today, which is a strong, better person. Many a time we have bitterness from the devastation, slavery or even family history of abuse. You can instead, respect the struggles and our cultures in a way which are positive. Do not discount the struggle, instead see how it can be a way to respect the strength in your past. If you can honor the strength of the past, you are a result of that past, so you honor yourself and become stronger.

Make Healthy Choices

A lot of your emotional strength generally comes from within. This means you will most likely feel your best if you eat healthily and treat your body with utmost care. Remember that every time you make healthy choices, you actually strengthen yourself. For example, have you selected an apple over a sweet candy, one point scored for becoming stronger? Have you taken a stroll and enjoy the view? Another point scored for resiliency. Honor every time you create a healthy decision.

Help Others in Need

It may sound weird to help other people especially when you are trying to figure out things for yourself. But when you are unselfish you can become strong because the care you show towards others can reverberate and look into caring for your own life, too. Helping others creates empathy and it makes us a better person, over a period of time. This way you become stronger emotionally.

Embrace Your Adversities

Never beat yourself up when things are not going your way. Failing is a part of life and how you look to challenge and accept it can really alter your perspective in a positive manner. Try to practice some positive psychology and start to embrace all your challenges and adversities as your greatest teachers and power for changes.

Identify Your Emotions

Do not look to criticize or punish yourself for having certain feelings. It is natural to feel low, angry or jealous. When you experience any negative emotions, carefully analyze them and figure out what you want your next step to be. Allow yourself to identify and accept every emotion you have and then decide if you want to follow this emotion or let it go.