Tag Archive : Marriage Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo

never do after being cheated

Things You Should Never Do After Being Cheated On

The discovery of infidelity often triggers a profound emotional upheaval. Betrayal can elicit a range of intense feelings, including anger, sadness, confusion, and even self-doubt. The betrayed partner may find themselves grappling with a rollercoaster of emotions that challenge their sense of self-worth and the very fabric of the relationship. It’s during these tumultuous times that one must approach the path to healing with utmost care and a commitment to preserving self-respect.

What are the things you should never do after being cheated on?

What are the things you should never do after being cheated on?

Leading marriage counselor and relationship expert, Shivani Misri Sadhoo suggests the things you should never do after being cheated on:

Don’t Jump to Conclusions: Discovering infidelity is emotionally charged, and the immediate reaction might be anger, sadness, or a combination of both. However, resist the urge to make impulsive decisions or accusations. Take the time to gather your thoughts, assess the situation, and communicate openly with your partner.

Avoid Retaliatory Cheating: Seeking revenge by engaging in retaliatory infidelity may seem like a way to level the playing field, but it only perpetuates a cycle of hurt and destruction. Instead, focus on understanding the root causes of the infidelity and deciding whether the relationship can be rebuilt.

Don’t Bottle Up Your Emotions: Suppressing emotions can lead to long-term issues such as resentment and anxiety. Allow yourself to feel the pain, betrayal, and sadness. Seek support from friends, family, or a therapist who can provide a safe space for you to express your emotions.

Avoid Public Humiliation: Refrain from publicly shaming your partner on social media or within your social circle. While it’s natural to seek support, airing your grievances in a public forum can have long-lasting consequences and make the healing process more challenging.

Don’t Play the Blame Game: Although infidelity is a breach of trust, it’s essential to recognize that relationships are complex, and blaming one party entirely may oversimplify the situation. Engage in open communication to understand the factors that contributed to the infidelity without assigning sole responsibility.

Avoid Rushing into Decisions: The aftermath of infidelity is not the ideal time to make major life decisions, such as ending the relationship or filing for divorce. Give yourself the necessary time to process emotions and make decisions with a clear and rational mindset.

Don’t Ignore Self-Care: Neglecting self-care during this challenging time can lead to physical and mental health issues. Prioritize your well-being by maintaining a healthy lifestyle, seeking professional help if needed, and engaging in activities that bring you joy and relaxation.

Avoid Excessive Monitoring: While rebuilding trust is essential, constantly monitoring your partner’s every move can hinder the healing process. Striking a balance between transparency and autonomy is crucial for rebuilding trust in a relationship.

Don’t Rush into a New Relationship: Rebound relationships may offer temporary distraction but rarely provide a solid foundation for emotional healing. Take the time to focus on personal growth and healing before entering into a new relationship.

Avoid Making Permanent Decisions in a Temporary State: Infidelity creates a tumultuous emotional state, and making permanent decisions during such turmoil may lead to regrets later on. Give yourself the time and space needed to make decisions that align with your long-term goals and values.

The aftermath of infidelity is undoubtedly challenging, but navigating it with a level head, self-respect, and a commitment to personal growth can lead to healing and, in some cases, the rebuilding of trust in the relationship. Remember, everyone’s journey is unique, and seeking professional guidance can be a valuable resource in the process of recovery.

best marriage counselor in New Delhi Shivani Misri sadhoo

Tell-Tale Signs that Your Relationship Needs Counselling

When you hit the like button on your bestie’s ‘picture perfect relationship’ posts with her husband on social media and feel envious, just remember that those ‘oh-so-cute’ photos have been carefully curated, edited, and filtered just to garner attention and appreciation from friends, relatives, strangers, and acquaintances. However, in real life, there are no filters. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side.

Relationships undergo a series of trials and tribulations. In any relationship, conflict is inevitable, but it is critical to recognize when it is a red flag. However, it is not the end of the world. Just like we consult a doctor when we fall sick, couples too can take help from relationship counsellors to save their relationship from falling apart.

Many times, couples feel embarrassed by the idea of seeking help and avoid seeing a therapist. But, believe it or not, couples counseling really helps. Even a healthy relationship can benefit from it. So, how do you know that your relationship needs counseling? Here are a few signs to look out for according to New Delhi’s leading marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo.

best marriage counselor in new delhi shivani misri sadhoo
  • Communication gap: Communication is the key to all successful relationships. In order to understand each other, couples need to communicate well. And always remember that communication is a two-way process. If you want yourself to be heard, you too must lend your ear whenever your partner wants to share their feelings and emotions. So, if you really feel that your partner constantly withdraws from an interaction or simply avoids confronting the issues, then this is a classic case of stonewalling. This is where a counselor may be able to break down the wall between you two and help with proper communication.
  • Lack of intimacy: Do you suddenly feel that your relationship has lost its spark? Although the honeymoon phase may not last forever, the feeling of togetherness must not fade away. Lack of physical and emotional intimacy can affect your relationship badly. Talking to a relationship counselor might help.
  • Too many arguments: As mentioned earlier in this article, arguments are an inevitable part of any relationship. Arguments are not necessarily bad. It is the way people handle them that makes a difference. Sometimes conflicts blow out of proportion. Couples must ‘agree to disagree’ to resolve a conflict in a healthy way. Relationship counselors can help you diffuse disagreements in a calm and composed way and make sure you respect and love each other.
  • Lack of trust: Trust is the cornerstone of a strong and successful relationship. Once broken, it is difficult to rebuild. Many times, couples fail to comprehend the real reason for this lack of trust. And that’s where a relationship expert comes into the picture. A counselor can help couples decode the real reasons for mistrust and help them rebuild it.
  • An Affair: No relationship is ever without flaws. But, if you or your partner are thinking of having or already having an affair, then there’s something seriously wrong with your relationship. The very thought of having an affair is a clear indication that you are seeking something your partner or better half cannot provide you with. This is regardless of whether it is an emotional or physical desire. If you have had an affair already or are planning to have one, then it is high time you consider taking help from a relationship counselor. This will help repair that breach of trust.
  • Transition: Even though change is the only constant in this life, any significant change in your life, whether it is getting married, having a child, buying a house, getting sick, or even changing careers, can create friction in relationships. Getting help from a counselor may be the best way to help you deal with change effectively.
marriage counselor shivani misri sadhoo

Three Common Mistakes Couples Make During Conflict

Let us assume a scenario, a couple sitting down at opposite ends of their sofa, and glaring at each other. Actually, this couple in their 40s had yet another fight. It is a continuation of something that started last night, but the reality was they had variations of the same row for the previous three years.

The complaints go on like “I have asked you to be kinder, but you speak to me with such contempt,” the husband says.

“But you are also doing things that upset me,” the wife counter-claimed. “What am I supposed to do?”

Shivani Sadhoo says, they are in gridlock and falling into three common mistakes made by couples with perpetual problems.

So what are these mistakes? Could knowing them transform your relationship? This is answered by India’s top marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo in this blog.

Mistake 1: “You change”

It is quite easy to have a long list of what your partner could do differently and a short list of your own. Probably yours is completely blank or full of hopeless ideas such as “give up.” Sadly, pointing out your partner’s shortcomings does not encourage change—merely defensiveness and counter-attack. Usually, it is encouraged that couples step into each other’s shoes and look at the world from there. However, once you reach gridlock, you are quite angry to make this leap of imagination.

Mistake 2: Protesting louder

If you cannot get through to your partner, you might wonder, why not raise the stakes? Probably they will finally understand and take you seriously. So, you shout louder, throw a bigger tantrum, or move from sniping to sarcasm and on to quite nasty name-calling. Other versions involve bringing in the opinions of other people to back you up and punishing your partner by refusing intimacy. Unfortunately, couples debate alternative narratives, forming a case against their partner.

Mistake 3: Flee and purse

At a certain point, one partner will check out. It might be walking away, internally shutting down, or people-pleasing (by which it means agreeing to anything for a quiet life but being filled with resentment or giving an empty apology to close down the argument). There are couples who simply beg their partners to stop. Not surprisingly, the other partner does not feel heard and fears nothing will ever transform. So they prevent the fleeing partner from leaving, following them to the next room or they rekindle the row a few moments later.

How to break the gridlock

Consider that both of you are correct. It is quite easy to fall into black-and-white concepts of right and wrong, win and defeat. Instead of this comparative approach, embrace something called contemplative thinking. In place of “yes but,” switch to “yes and,” which does not negate your spouse’s position. Once you accept that both are correct, you open up to creative solutions: “What can we do distinctly?”

Look deeper into the problem. Ask yourself, “What is this argument actually about?” If you both feel so strongly, it should be something important and that usually goes back to your childhood. So, tell each other what past trauma has been reactivated. If you require help with this, find a Gottman-trained therapist Shivani Misri Sadhoo.

Stay in the cauldron of conflict longer. It is natural to look to exit conflict as equally as possible but it takes some time to go through. Do not put pressure on yourselves. It will generally take several discussions, perhaps, over several days. So learn to feel more comfortable having uncertainty and agree to keep talking.

Become vulnerable with each other. In place of showing your armored exterior, speak about what you find hard. Remember to use “I” statements. For instance: “I feel anxious” instead of “You make me feel anxious.”

Look for similarities and build on those. It is helpful to remind each one of what you agree on. For instance: “We both want the best for the children” or “We are both feeling quite overwhelmed.” If you address the better part of your spouse rather than attack their flaws, it is simpler to build cooperation.

Going through. Once you stop pushing your specific solution, another way will slowly arise. If you are still stuck, it might be that you need to return to the earlier steps and do some more talking and plenty of listening. When you both feel really understood, you will be ready to march forward.

how to grow a highly romantic relationship

5 Absolute Ingredients Needed for Growing a Highly Romantic

Yet Very Stable Relationship According to Couples Therapist Shivani Sadhoo

Unluckily, relationship skills and self-care are never taught in school. Yet, these two aspects and life necessities can certainly have a huge effect on any person’s happiness and success in life.

And things become even worse, amidst the chaotic and hectic modern-day life, where most people don’t even have quality time for themselves. So, just imagine how those people can have time for others. And this is the case with several couples too, where they simply have no time to contribute anything to their relationship.

All, these later contribute to arguments, and quarrels, eventually leading to quitting the relationship. On the other hand, we have couples who even in the midst of all the chaos and dramas are living a dream-like relationship that is sometimes even hard to imagine, if that actually is possible. Relationship coach and couples counselor Shivani says, this is very much possible to have a loving and happy relationship.

top marriage counsellor shivani misri sadhoo

Through this blog, India’s eminent couple’s therapist Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares 5 such ingredients that are needed for nurturing a super romantic, yet absolutely stable relationship.

Knowing yourself

In the process of life, several of us learn to hide our feelings, strengths, desires, and personal goals. If those are hidden from ourselves, we cannot show up as complete people in a relationship. Thus, taking time to look inside of yourself and visit the hidden areas of your feelings, experiences and desires help you to show up as a genuine and honest person.

Too many of you are taught by well-meaning figures to bury your feelings and to be ashamed of your dreams and to simply plain keep others happy. It never works in a relationship. So mostly as Shivani says she hears from couples: “I just do not know who he or she is. I get such mixed signals or no response at all about where we want to go together, in life.”

In knowing yourselves, you do know what you personally need to keep on your own pathway towards success and happiness and then you can communicate that to your partners. It all starts with yourself “Do what you love!”

tips to make relationship highly romantic by counselor shivani misri sadhoo

Practicing self-care

Do you know the number of people who are simply plain burned out in life, lately? You have been tested in your abilities to survive and adapt during certain current tough challenges here in your life. Being the best version of yourself in a relationship means you know how to and you do all it takes to be healthy in mind, body, and spirit.

When you do not feel good, or you are too stressed or lack faith in yourself or in the future, you cannot be a good partner to anyone. You all know the steps to take for good self-care, but do you really practice these behaviors? As human beings, you need good sleep, exercise, healthy food, time outdoors in nature, adventures, and fun, constant learning, and a belief in something greater than yourself.

Whatever your religious or spiritual thought process may be, spending time with the practices will enhance your vibrational level and lead you to better self-care and creativity.

Communicating in a positive way

As in any relationship, differences will arise. And in fact, in relationships with the biggest differences, growth and deeper learning takes place in an attempt to relate to one another. So enjoy the differences and learn to try to understand each other and those differences.

If you can learn to converse from your heart rather than putting your partner on the defensive, overcoming differences and learning to be more open can truly be fun. For years you have been learning about “I statements.”

They are truly heart statements. Here is an instance. Your partner comes home late. A typical reaction would be a question like “Why are you so late while coming home?” The implication here is that the individual is in trouble or has misbehaved.

A heart statement would be “Oh I really miss having time with you and I get sad or worried when you reach home later than I expected.” Observe how the communication is about caring, about loving the other one instead of interrogating the partner.

Letting do-overs

When conflict and misunderstanding occur in a relationship, it is mostly difficult to practice positive communication. In those situations when buttons are being pushed harder and frustration or anger grows, take a break from the discussion.

During that break genuinely try to imagine what your partner is looking to communicate and where he or she is coming from. Then go back to your inner communication and approach with the aim of understanding, accepting, and loving the other person.

Any one of you can call a Do Over or a Break as things get even slightly heated. In calling a break, again bring this back to yourself with statements such as” I genuinely feel bad with how this is going and I wish to find a better way to understand and support you.

How about if we try the same discussion again when we both feel prepared?” There is so much respect and love in that manner of dealing with misunderstandings or differences.

Keeping passion and excitement alive

As you keep growing in your individual passions and your learning, you bring excitement into a relationship.  This journey is meant for learning and growth and not retreating into comfort or any mundane.

Fear might create a desire to protect yourself from facing life’s tough challenges head-on. The only two fears everyone is born with are fear of falling and fear of loud noises. The remaining ones have learned fears. The good thing about learned fears is that you can unlearn those fears by facing them when that opportunity arises.

As you individually face your fears, you create adventure, fun, and stimulation in the relationship. The passion enhances in response to those behaviors. Words such as “this is interesting” or “challenge accepted” can help assist you in your self-talk as you take on the challenges life gives you. Think of the energy you bring home to the relationship as you keep moving ahead in life and following your dreams.

As you could see, the best relationships need self-focus and an honoring of your true selves. Then when you show up to your partner an incredibly positive and fulfilling relationship will take place.

dating challenge relationship tips by shiavni sadhoo

Do You Need to Heal, Before Starting a New Relationship?

Avantika’s Story (Not real name)

Hardly a couple of years went into their marriage when Avantika and Rohan (not real names) were thinking about getting a divorce. Avantika was pondering where she went wrong. She analysed back the last couple of years of her marital life and the destruction of her first marriage and then how she met another man named Vishal (name changed) after some time post her divorce. Like Avantika, Vishal too was divorced and they found comfort and distraction both in each other’s company, which eventually turned into likeliness for each other.

Then, suddenly Avantika was feeling as if she had moved on too quickly, and more importantly, has she been able to completely heal from her last broken relationship prior to jumping into the next.

She posed a question to her and also to me when she came for the counseling, says Shivani Sadhoo. The question was “does she completely need to heal before initiating a new relationship”?

The process of grief and healing

Shivani says first, one needs to delve deeper into the question. What do you mean by healing? Does anyone ever “fully” heal? How can one know when they are ready to begin again?

Grief is a cluster of emotions one experiences when one loses someone with whom they had emotional attachments. The feelings one has when grieving is usual, but the majority of the time, they are unpleasant. People look to want them to go away. What requires to be understood though is that these feelings have a reason. Sadness assists you to step away from others and see inward. It presents you with time to analyze yourself and come to realities with your own responsibilities and mistakes. It lends you time to think about the future you wish for and to gradually take steps forward.

There are other feelings while you grieve. Anger is a potent emotion that helps one make changes, but it mostly becomes a source of bonding that could cause problems. Grieving people could join with one another in a relationship formed on their anger at their ex-partners and rapidly bond over that commonality. These relationships may grow fast and feel very powerful, but they require much more than simply shared anger as a basis.

William Worden in his book “Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy” talks of recovery as a four-step First, you should accept the reality of the loss and start to see the opportunities for a new future. Secondly, one needs to feel the feelings of loss. This is the step majorly avoided but it is necessary. Third, you should adjust to the facts of life without the other. The fourth process is letting go of the lost partner and searching for a new, meaningful relationship. These new relationships may be romantic or they could be something else.

Last thought

How much time does it take? People attempt to put a time frame on this procedure, but it’s difficult to measure things in that manner. You might never feel “totally healed.” If you wait for that, you might never move ahead. How do you get to know you are healed enough? When are you actually ready? When the feelings of sadness and loss start to lift when one is alone with their thoughts, and their imagination begins accepting thoughts of a brighter future… one is starting to get there.

This blog is written by top relationship and marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo.

Marriage counselling tips

Steps to Be a Supportive Partners for a Successful Marriage

Humans are emotional beings who always crave love, care, respect, and support.

Friends and family are important, but you all yearn to have that special someone in your life who would love you unconditionally and be by your side, no matter what goes wrong.

The support of your partner in the lowest moments can help you boost your confidence to another level. However, arduous a situation is, a supportive partner’s presence can make you believe that everything will be alright.

Being a supportive partner feels like an essential part of a relationship, but some people might not know the best methods to be a supportive husband, wife, or significant other.

There are different types of support in a relationship, as well as several vital reasons for supporting your partner or significant other, says Shivani.

What does it actually mean to be a supportive partner?

There is no clear example of what it means to be a supportive partner. The idea of being supportive that holds for you may or may not work for another.

Eventually, having a supportive partner means that your needs, and desires are met in the relationship, whatever these could be.

One method to know you have a supportive spouse or that you are supportive in a relationship is to look at the idea of choice. Here they are:

  •        A supportive partner lets their significant other make choices
  •        A supportive partner is the one who is encouraging
  •        Supportive partner also means making your significant other feel important and respected

Being supportive in a relationship is quite vital because it is one of the most important aspects of developing a relationship. Having a supportive partner lets a person cope with challenges in life. While also having a partner who supports your dreams allows you to become the finest version of yourself.

Signs of a supportive partner

Supporting a partner may look different in every relationship, but there are some subtle and strong signs that prove one is a supportive wife or a husband.

  •        Being a good listener
  •        Displaying consideration for your spouse
  •        Taking time to laugh with your partner
  •        Paying attention to your spouse
  •        Being helpful
  •        Having the ability to apologize
  •        Being honest
  •        Viewing your spouse as your teammate

Now you get some ideas that signify a supportive partner, here in this blog leading couple’s therapist Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares steps that one needs to take to be a supportive partner.

Make a commitment to truly listen to your spouse

Active listening is important for the well functioning of an intimate relationship. Responsive listening needs you to be actively interested and participate in the conversation. You can do them by taking some time to ask questions and post-listening to them so that you can actually understand your partner’s views.

Be empathetic

It needs you to place yourself in your spouse’s shoes. For example, if your partner is venting about a bad day at work, just think about how you may have felt if you had an issue at the workplace with a co-worker and wanted to talk about it to someone.

steps to have a successful marriage

Communicate to your spouse often that you two are a team

When things get difficult, be certain to communicate to your spouse that you two are a team and a union. Express that you wish to remain supportive of each other.

Give time to discuss your partner’s dreams and aspirations

Take some time to sit with your partner and talk about their dreams, hopes, goals, and aspirations. It shows your partner that you support them in growing and becoming the best version of themselves.

Provide your partner some time to cool off or relax by themselves

If your partner comes home from work and appears stressed or just not in the mood to talk, recognize the fact and provide them some alone time to unwind, by not taking it personally.

Appreciate your spouse

From time to time praise your partner for their accomplishments and let them know that you appreciate the things they do for you.

Practice little, thoughtful acts

You can practice small and thoughtful acts. Like doing the extra household chores which are usually done by your partner daily or if you are going out take out your partner’s car to fill the fuel or take it to the car wash.

Avoid talking to your spouse out of their feelings

You might be uncomfortable with your partner’s unpleasant emotions but telling them not to be upset could go a long way and make them feel unsupported.

Let your partner do the things their own way

Your partner may occasionally do something different from what you do, but by chastising them, you only show a lack of support. So, rather than criticizing or correcting them simply accept the way they do things.

mother-in-law interference in relationship

Does Your Partner Share All Your Private Matters with his/her Family?

Couples Therapist Shivani Misri Sadhoo Shares how to Address such Situations in a Relationship

A scenario: You and your wife have been together for some years and have kids. You both work hard and are doing your best to develop yourselves by establishing a strong career and building a home. However, whenever you talk about anything you plan to do or have any disagreement, your partner runs and tells his/her family everything. All of a sudden, you start receiving phone calls and messages from their family, advising you on what you should do instead. You have told your spouse several times to keep certain things private but they don’t listen. Should you stop talking to your partner and do everything by yourself?

how to tackle mother in laws interfernce in marriage

Couples Therapist Shivani says this situation seems stressful since no one wishes to feel betrayed by the one they expect to protect them. Marriage is sacred and special and it comes with all the good things that are embedded in a union of two consenting adults. However, this relationship is also certain to face several difficulties along the way.

One of the facts that makes a marriage special is both partners are vulnerable to each other. This is one of the ideal methods of developing a close and fulfilling relationship. It brings about being more open with your spouse and letting yourself be who you genuinely are. It could involve discussing feelings at a greater level and being open with each other without being afraid of being judged.

It is mostly a big temptation for people to look to share everything about their relationship with their parents or friends. This generally happens when the relationship is facing certain challenges although even out of excitement, a partner may be tempted to share more than they should with other persons. Parents usually lend a sympathetic ear and one goes feeling much better.

The issue here is that naturally, parents love and side with their kids and no parent wishes to see their children hurting. This could jeopardize a relationship since relatives generally take sides and will not present a neutral environment. At times, the couple may have worked on their problems but since relatives are not the ones in the relationship, they are going to judge based on old information or preconceived notions and continue to disrespect your spouse.

It is also possible that your partner has not yet fully come to the level of cutting cords with her parents and still feels safe when she discusses things with them that you are doing as a family. This also has plenty to do with certain parenting styles in a family. It is generally the adults who help younger persons become independent and relate properly and be loyal to their own intimate relationships as well.

If this is not properly handled early in life, then those adult children might have problems or conflicts in their marriage relationships.

People are capable of learning new things even during adulthood if they are willing. In this scenario, attending a marriage therapy session together as a couple could help address these intricate matters and provide an avenue for both of you to express yourselves without being judged.

Although you may have talked to your partner about this earlier, you could try bringing it up again when you are both relaxed and happy. Let your partner know how this makes you feel as their spouse and as a son or daughter-in-law. Generally, a heated debate simply aggravates issues but when you communicate calmly others tend to listen and even take a deep interest in what you are saying.

Leading couple’s therapist Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares some ways to address those situations. If you also feel that you or your partner reveals everything to the respective families, then read this blog further.

Set boundaries

This is a quite common problem. While it is a fact in many cultures that when you marry your spouse, you also marry the family, you must also maintain proper boundaries. It is a wonderful quality that your spouse loves their family and looks to tell them everything but there has to be a limit and your spouse needs to put your needs and the requirements of the marriage first.

Look for counseling

Feelings are not incorrect and your partner cannot argue with how you feel. If you believe that your spouse is not setting proper boundaries, probably he/she does not know how to do that. If you are willing, maybe you two need to seek marriage counseling to learn to communicate effectively and set healthy boundaries with their respective families. This issue can be resolved. Simply, be patient and communicate without attacking or provoking each other.

Talk to your partner

If your partner runs and complains about you or tells others things that need to be private, they are stuck with it. If your spouse is mad at you, they might be too when they hear they are venting about it. But then they will get over it and they will not, since they are not married to you. This will be a good thing to talk to your partner about, and let him/her know that what they are doing is hurting your marriage and that you wish it to stop.

Relatinship counselor shivani Misri sadhoo

Signs You May be Suffering Due to Poor Personal Boundaries

Personal boundaries are the “limits” that a person needs in his/her life and relationship, to dictate to other people how they should treat and behave with them and what they can expect from them. Unfortunately, a lot of people set poor personal boundaries and suffer, day and night in their friendship, professions, and relationships.

The problem lies in the fact that as toddlers and children, society teaches us to say “Yes” to elders, be it in school or at home. Society at large appreciates obedience and does not encourage kids and teenagers to ask questions, which in fact is the foundation of a free mind, self-belief, and bravery.

The problem starts when this obedient child, grows-ups and enters the throat-cutting competitive world, find himself/herself in a group of peers, or finds a partner with poor morals and weak self-belief, and fails to say “NO” against emotional, psychological, and materialistic worldly exploitations.

In today’s blog, India’s eminent psychologist and couples therapist Shivani Sadhoo signs that can help you identify if you are suffering in your life due to poor personal boundaries.

1. You completely hate it when you let others down

It means that you mostly go along with the other person’s plans and say yes to all the things you wouldn’t normally choose to do, and possibly do not want to do. Joining added committees, agreeing to visit restaurants where you know you will not be able to avail anything for your kid’s health restrictions on the menu, opting to go along with a messy schedule at work in an attempt to accommodate your boss’ new whim.

2. You are continuously tired and don’t even know the reason

And every mother said, “Yes” Though it is completely different from “mom-tired,” it is incredibly common. It occurs as you are giving all your energy away by continuously tending to everyone else’s wishes and needs and putting your own interest on the shelf.

3. You feel like how other person feels is solely up to you

You always worry whether they are having a good time and feeling good. You go beyond your limits to make certain this is the case. It means you feel guilty and anxious quite regularly. You seldom feel settled because there is always going to be an individual who is upset or a blame to put out. And you ought to be the one to do it.

4. It’s simple for others to take advantage of you

It’s simply for others to take advantage of you. You are pretty certain that is not what you agreed to, but you would rather not say anything. And they also, know you won’t either. You might even wonder if you are being manipulated by those who are actually closest to you.

5. Deep within you think no one respects you

This is perhaps because you have been pushed over far too many times, so they never think they need to.

6. It is too difficult for you to take and make decisions on the basis of your own needs

You are not able to take any stand for yourself because you feel what others want or will feel.  Eventually, when you truly decide for yourself, you find it overwhelming or exhausting.

7. You are not certain who you are or what you like

Perhaps you may feel like having an identity crisis. You do not know what you prefer or love. How it feels to make a decision on your own interests. Rather you are preoccupied with what others want you to do.

Stay tuned to Saarthi’s blog because we will be posting soon the article by Shivani Misri Sadhoo on ways one can set their personal boundaries correctly.

Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo

Beware Your Bedroom May be Sabotaging Your Quality Sleep

Do you usually feel tired after waking up and frequently miss quality sleep? Even though you are not using gadgets in your bed and lately, consume less caffeine at night, and generally go to your bed on time. Then it’s time you take a careful look at your bedroom, as Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo suggests that your bedroom condition can impact your sleep quality due in these many ways: –

Avoid Clutter

A cloth-stand with laundry clothes in your bedroom, toys spread on your dressing table, a corner tool covered with few cloths – has the potential to affect your sleep quality. Yes, the research has identified that clutter in your bedroom can subconsciously increase your stress and anxiety, and a cleaner, more organized room tends to create a sense of peace.

Be careful with wall colours 

We generally perceive wall colours have a universal impact on an individual’s moods but that’s not always true. Every person can react differently to a different colour, for example, shades of blue are often considered the most calming and peaceful for wall colour but some people find blue to be sad instead of tranquil. Thus, evaluate your bedroom wall colours, and try different colours.

Sneaky light

Darkness is an important tool to help activate melatonin (a hormone that helps the body feel sleepy). Any kind of light source can suppress this hormone and can make you feel more alert. Hence your bedroom may be hiding your sleep culprit in the form of the thinner window curtain, glowing LED clock, or the charging light from your laptop charger.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-10 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help.  Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high. 

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option.  Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service! 

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

Essential Tips To Control Your Fear And Anxiety During The Times Of COVID-19: Shares Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

When it is about the COVID-19 or the coronavirus pandemic, there is what you hear and see and post taking it all there is how it all makes you feel.

You have been asked to stay home as long as possible. Restaurants and eating joints are taking delivery to home orders only. Bars, malls, theaters, offices, schools, and colleges are all closed. You switch on the television to watch the news and again it is all about the coronavirus.

You go through your social media feeds and COVID-19 is there, too. It is far too much to take in, and if you are feeling overwhelmed, stressed and panicked you are not alone.

But everyone is prepared, and want you to feel prepared, too.

The world has seen epidemics before and overcame those times. You are all in this together, and it is vital that you all stay calm and work together.

If you see yourself feeling stressed about the situation, this article written by Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo based in Delhi is for you.

Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares essential tips to control your fear and anxiety during the times of COVID-19.

Ensure You Are Getting The Verified Facts

News and information about the COVID-19 pandemic is everywhere. Local news, online news sources, social media feeds everyone seems to have information, and they definitely all have opinions. Staying updated is vital, but you will want to ensure that who you are listening to and getting it right.

The COVID-19 pandemic is a grave situation, and you must take your cues and your facts from a verified source only. For information regarding the coronavirus, including symptoms, how to protect yourself, who is at higher risk, resources for the community and others. It is recommended that using recommend using govt sources as your primary source of truth.

Healthwise Look To Stay Fit

You must always keep your health as a priority, especially, during a pandemic, staying healthy becomes more crucial than ever.

Never forget about your health. You need to stay healthy to lower your risk of contracting any illness, including COVID-19. Staying healthy means eating healthy, drinking plenty of water and getting good sleep and exercising daily. These healthy habits will also assist you lower and manage the stress of handling the changes and challenges you face during these times.

Try To Manage Your Anxiety And Fear

There is a lot of uncertainty regarding the COVID-19. How long will it last? How grave will it get? But bear in mind, there are plenty of things about the coronavirus you do know and you are learning more about it daily.

It may sound counterintuitive, but 1 of the finest ways to manage your fear of the unknown is to prepare yourselves for the fact that uncertainty does exist.

Currently, no one can say how long this will last. But it would be realistic that everyone should all prepare for a quite unusual next few months, simultaneously one should also prepare for this to go on for even longer than that.

In the meantime, it is critical to counter anxiety and fear with the things that make you relax.

If you need to unwind, listen to music and talk to your loved ones especially when you are confined to your homes.  Do remember to practice social distancing as you meet others.

You can also overcome the fear of the unknown by paying attention on what you can control, like understanding your role in preventing the spread of coronavirus and maintaining the normalcy as much as you can.

Take Complete Advantage Of Your Home Stay

In the beginning, social distancing may sound uncomfortable but you might want to look at it as an opportunity. Consider utilizing this time at home to catch up on the kinds of stuff that get put on the backbench of a busy and hectic life.

·         Try to do the following while at home:

·         Do house-related chores like cleaning and washing.

·         Read books

·         Call and Chat with friends and relatives

·         Indulge in your hobbies.

·         Spend time with family members

Practice Meditation And Mindfulness

It is essential to stay updated on the COVID-19 pandemic, but fixating on it could lead to unwanted stress. After catching up on the news, you may look to set aside time for mindfulness, meditation or prayer.

Long, deep breaths, concentrating on the present, and taking some time to be grateful for what you have are all wonderful ways to re-align yourself and bring a sense of calmness to your life.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-10 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help.  Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high. 

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option.  Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service! 

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.