Tag Archive : Marriage Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo

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Do You Need to Heal, Before Starting a New Relationship?

Avantika’s Story (Not real name)

Hardly a couple of years went into their marriage when Avantika and Rohan (not real names) were thinking about getting a divorce. Avantika was pondering where she went wrong. She analysed back the last couple of years of her marital life and the destruction of her first marriage and then how she met another man named Vishal (name changed) after some time post her divorce. Like Avantika, Vishal too was divorced and they found comfort and distraction both in each other’s company, which eventually turned into likeliness for each other.

Then, suddenly Avantika was feeling as if she had moved on too quickly, and more importantly, has she been able to completely heal from her last broken relationship prior to jumping into the next.

She posed a question to her and also to me when she came for the counseling, says Shivani Sadhoo. The question was “does she completely need to heal before initiating a new relationship”?

The process of grief and healing

Shivani says first, one needs to delve deeper into the question. What do you mean by healing? Does anyone ever “fully” heal? How can one know when they are ready to begin again?

Grief is a cluster of emotions one experiences when one loses someone with whom they had emotional attachments. The feelings one has when grieving is usual, but the majority of the time, they are unpleasant. People look to want them to go away. What requires to be understood though is that these feelings have a reason. Sadness assists you to step away from others and see inward. It presents you with time to analyze yourself and come to realities with your own responsibilities and mistakes. It lends you time to think about the future you wish for and to gradually take steps forward.

There are other feelings while you grieve. Anger is a potent emotion that helps one make changes, but it mostly becomes a source of bonding that could cause problems. Grieving people could join with one another in a relationship formed on their anger at their ex-partners and rapidly bond over that commonality. These relationships may grow fast and feel very powerful, but they require much more than simply shared anger as a basis.

William Worden in his book “Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy” talks of recovery as a four-step First, you should accept the reality of the loss and start to see the opportunities for a new future. Secondly, one needs to feel the feelings of loss. This is the step majorly avoided but it is necessary. Third, you should adjust to the facts of life without the other. The fourth process is letting go of the lost partner and searching for a new, meaningful relationship. These new relationships may be romantic or they could be something else.

Last thought

How much time does it take? People attempt to put a time frame on this procedure, but it’s difficult to measure things in that manner. You might never feel “totally healed.” If you wait for that, you might never move ahead. How do you get to know you are healed enough? When are you actually ready? When the feelings of sadness and loss start to lift when one is alone with their thoughts, and their imagination begins accepting thoughts of a brighter future… one is starting to get there.

This blog is written by top relationship and marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo.

Marriage counselling tips

Steps to Be a Supportive Partners for a Successful Marriage

Humans are emotional beings who always crave love, care, respect, and support.

Friends and family are important, but you all yearn to have that special someone in your life who would love you unconditionally and be by your side, no matter what goes wrong.

The support of your partner in the lowest moments can help you boost your confidence to another level. However, arduous a situation is, a supportive partner’s presence can make you believe that everything will be alright.

Being a supportive partner feels like an essential part of a relationship, but some people might not know the best methods to be a supportive husband, wife, or significant other.

There are different types of support in a relationship, as well as several vital reasons for supporting your partner or significant other, says Shivani.

What does it actually mean to be a supportive partner?

There is no clear example of what it means to be a supportive partner. The idea of being supportive that holds for you may or may not work for another.

Eventually, having a supportive partner means that your needs, and desires are met in the relationship, whatever these could be.

One method to know you have a supportive spouse or that you are supportive in a relationship is to look at the idea of choice. Here they are:

  •        A supportive partner lets their significant other make choices
  •        A supportive partner is the one who is encouraging
  •        Supportive partner also means making your significant other feel important and respected

Being supportive in a relationship is quite vital because it is one of the most important aspects of developing a relationship. Having a supportive partner lets a person cope with challenges in life. While also having a partner who supports your dreams allows you to become the finest version of yourself.

Signs of a supportive partner

Supporting a partner may look different in every relationship, but there are some subtle and strong signs that prove one is a supportive wife or a husband.

  •        Being a good listener
  •        Displaying consideration for your spouse
  •        Taking time to laugh with your partner
  •        Paying attention to your spouse
  •        Being helpful
  •        Having the ability to apologize
  •        Being honest
  •        Viewing your spouse as your teammate

Now you get some ideas that signify a supportive partner, here in this blog leading couple’s therapist Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares steps that one needs to take to be a supportive partner.

Make a commitment to truly listen to your spouse

Active listening is important for the well functioning of an intimate relationship. Responsive listening needs you to be actively interested and participate in the conversation. You can do them by taking some time to ask questions and post-listening to them so that you can actually understand your partner’s views.

Be empathetic

It needs you to place yourself in your spouse’s shoes. For example, if your partner is venting about a bad day at work, just think about how you may have felt if you had an issue at the workplace with a co-worker and wanted to talk about it to someone.

steps to have a successful marriage

Communicate to your spouse often that you two are a team

When things get difficult, be certain to communicate to your spouse that you two are a team and a union. Express that you wish to remain supportive of each other.

Give time to discuss your partner’s dreams and aspirations

Take some time to sit with your partner and talk about their dreams, hopes, goals, and aspirations. It shows your partner that you support them in growing and becoming the best version of themselves.

Provide your partner some time to cool off or relax by themselves

If your partner comes home from work and appears stressed or just not in the mood to talk, recognize the fact and provide them some alone time to unwind, by not taking it personally.

Appreciate your spouse

From time to time praise your partner for their accomplishments and let them know that you appreciate the things they do for you.

Practice little, thoughtful acts

You can practice small and thoughtful acts. Like doing the extra household chores which are usually done by your partner daily or if you are going out take out your partner’s car to fill the fuel or take it to the car wash.

Avoid talking to your spouse out of their feelings

You might be uncomfortable with your partner’s unpleasant emotions but telling them not to be upset could go a long way and make them feel unsupported.

Let your partner do the things their own way

Your partner may occasionally do something different from what you do, but by chastising them, you only show a lack of support. So, rather than criticizing or correcting them simply accept the way they do things.

mother-in-law interference in relationship

Does Your Partner Share All Your Private Matters with his/her Family?

Couples Therapist Shivani Misri Sadhoo Shares how to Address such Situations in a Relationship

A scenario: You and your wife have been together for some years and have kids. You both work hard and are doing your best to develop yourselves by establishing a strong career and building a home. However, whenever you talk about anything you plan to do or have any disagreement, your partner runs and tells his/her family everything. All of a sudden, you start receiving phone calls and messages from their family, advising you on what you should do instead. You have told your spouse several times to keep certain things private but they don’t listen. Should you stop talking to your partner and do everything by yourself?

how to tackle mother in laws interfernce in marriage

Couples Therapist Shivani says this situation seems stressful since no one wishes to feel betrayed by the one they expect to protect them. Marriage is sacred and special and it comes with all the good things that are embedded in a union of two consenting adults. However, this relationship is also certain to face several difficulties along the way.

One of the facts that makes a marriage special is both partners are vulnerable to each other. This is one of the ideal methods of developing a close and fulfilling relationship. It brings about being more open with your spouse and letting yourself be who you genuinely are. It could involve discussing feelings at a greater level and being open with each other without being afraid of being judged.

It is mostly a big temptation for people to look to share everything about their relationship with their parents or friends. This generally happens when the relationship is facing certain challenges although even out of excitement, a partner may be tempted to share more than they should with other persons. Parents usually lend a sympathetic ear and one goes feeling much better.

The issue here is that naturally, parents love and side with their kids and no parent wishes to see their children hurting. This could jeopardize a relationship since relatives generally take sides and will not present a neutral environment. At times, the couple may have worked on their problems but since relatives are not the ones in the relationship, they are going to judge based on old information or preconceived notions and continue to disrespect your spouse.

It is also possible that your partner has not yet fully come to the level of cutting cords with her parents and still feels safe when she discusses things with them that you are doing as a family. This also has plenty to do with certain parenting styles in a family. It is generally the adults who help younger persons become independent and relate properly and be loyal to their own intimate relationships as well.

If this is not properly handled early in life, then those adult children might have problems or conflicts in their marriage relationships.

People are capable of learning new things even during adulthood if they are willing. In this scenario, attending a marriage therapy session together as a couple could help address these intricate matters and provide an avenue for both of you to express yourselves without being judged.

Although you may have talked to your partner about this earlier, you could try bringing it up again when you are both relaxed and happy. Let your partner know how this makes you feel as their spouse and as a son or daughter-in-law. Generally, a heated debate simply aggravates issues but when you communicate calmly others tend to listen and even take a deep interest in what you are saying.

Leading couple’s therapist Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares some ways to address those situations. If you also feel that you or your partner reveals everything to the respective families, then read this blog further.

Set boundaries

This is a quite common problem. While it is a fact in many cultures that when you marry your spouse, you also marry the family, you must also maintain proper boundaries. It is a wonderful quality that your spouse loves their family and looks to tell them everything but there has to be a limit and your spouse needs to put your needs and the requirements of the marriage first.

Look for counseling

Feelings are not incorrect and your partner cannot argue with how you feel. If you believe that your spouse is not setting proper boundaries, probably he/she does not know how to do that. If you are willing, maybe you two need to seek marriage counseling to learn to communicate effectively and set healthy boundaries with their respective families. This issue can be resolved. Simply, be patient and communicate without attacking or provoking each other.

Talk to your partner

If your partner runs and complains about you or tells others things that need to be private, they are stuck with it. If your spouse is mad at you, they might be too when they hear they are venting about it. But then they will get over it and they will not, since they are not married to you. This will be a good thing to talk to your partner about, and let him/her know that what they are doing is hurting your marriage and that you wish it to stop.

Relatinship counselor shivani Misri sadhoo

Signs You May be Suffering Due to Poor Personal Boundaries

Personal boundaries are the “limits” that a person needs in his/her life and relationship, to dictate to other people how they should treat and behave with them and what they can expect from them. Unfortunately, a lot of people set poor personal boundaries and suffer, day and night in their friendship, professions, and relationships.

The problem lies in the fact that as toddlers and children, society teaches us to say “Yes” to elders, be it in school or at home. Society at large appreciates obedience and does not encourage kids and teenagers to ask questions, which in fact is the foundation of a free mind, self-belief, and bravery.

The problem starts when this obedient child, grows-ups and enters the throat-cutting competitive world, find himself/herself in a group of peers, or finds a partner with poor morals and weak self-belief, and fails to say “NO” against emotional, psychological, and materialistic worldly exploitations.

In today’s blog, India’s eminent psychologist and couples therapist Shivani Sadhoo signs that can help you identify if you are suffering in your life due to poor personal boundaries.

1. You completely hate it when you let others down

It means that you mostly go along with the other person’s plans and say yes to all the things you wouldn’t normally choose to do, and possibly do not want to do. Joining added committees, agreeing to visit restaurants where you know you will not be able to avail anything for your kid’s health restrictions on the menu, opting to go along with a messy schedule at work in an attempt to accommodate your boss’ new whim.

2. You are continuously tired and don’t even know the reason

And every mother said, “Yes” Though it is completely different from “mom-tired,” it is incredibly common. It occurs as you are giving all your energy away by continuously tending to everyone else’s wishes and needs and putting your own interest on the shelf.

3. You feel like how other person feels is solely up to you

You always worry whether they are having a good time and feeling good. You go beyond your limits to make certain this is the case. It means you feel guilty and anxious quite regularly. You seldom feel settled because there is always going to be an individual who is upset or a blame to put out. And you ought to be the one to do it.

4. It’s simple for others to take advantage of you

It’s simply for others to take advantage of you. You are pretty certain that is not what you agreed to, but you would rather not say anything. And they also, know you won’t either. You might even wonder if you are being manipulated by those who are actually closest to you.

5. Deep within you think no one respects you

This is perhaps because you have been pushed over far too many times, so they never think they need to.

6. It is too difficult for you to take and make decisions on the basis of your own needs

You are not able to take any stand for yourself because you feel what others want or will feel.  Eventually, when you truly decide for yourself, you find it overwhelming or exhausting.

7. You are not certain who you are or what you like

Perhaps you may feel like having an identity crisis. You do not know what you prefer or love. How it feels to make a decision on your own interests. Rather you are preoccupied with what others want you to do.

Stay tuned to Saarthi’s blog because we will be posting soon the article by Shivani Misri Sadhoo on ways one can set their personal boundaries correctly.

Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo

Beware Your Bedroom May be Sabotaging Your Quality Sleep

Do you usually feel tired after waking up and frequently miss quality sleep? Even though you are not using gadgets in your bed and lately, consume less caffeine at night, and generally go to your bed on time. Then it’s time you take a careful look at your bedroom, as Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo suggests that your bedroom condition can impact your sleep quality due in these many ways: –

Avoid Clutter

A cloth-stand with laundry clothes in your bedroom, toys spread on your dressing table, a corner tool covered with few cloths – has the potential to affect your sleep quality. Yes, the research has identified that clutter in your bedroom can subconsciously increase your stress and anxiety, and a cleaner, more organized room tends to create a sense of peace.

Be careful with wall colours 

We generally perceive wall colours have a universal impact on an individual’s moods but that’s not always true. Every person can react differently to a different colour, for example, shades of blue are often considered the most calming and peaceful for wall colour but some people find blue to be sad instead of tranquil. Thus, evaluate your bedroom wall colours, and try different colours.

Sneaky light

Darkness is an important tool to help activate melatonin (a hormone that helps the body feel sleepy). Any kind of light source can suppress this hormone and can make you feel more alert. Hence your bedroom may be hiding your sleep culprit in the form of the thinner window curtain, glowing LED clock, or the charging light from your laptop charger.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-10 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help.  Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high. 

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option.  Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service! 

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

Essential Tips To Control Your Fear And Anxiety During The Times Of COVID-19: Shares Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

When it is about the COVID-19 or the coronavirus pandemic, there is what you hear and see and post taking it all there is how it all makes you feel.

You have been asked to stay home as long as possible. Restaurants and eating joints are taking delivery to home orders only. Bars, malls, theaters, offices, schools, and colleges are all closed. You switch on the television to watch the news and again it is all about the coronavirus.

You go through your social media feeds and COVID-19 is there, too. It is far too much to take in, and if you are feeling overwhelmed, stressed and panicked you are not alone.

But everyone is prepared, and want you to feel prepared, too.

The world has seen epidemics before and overcame those times. You are all in this together, and it is vital that you all stay calm and work together.

If you see yourself feeling stressed about the situation, this article written by Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo based in Delhi is for you.

Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares essential tips to control your fear and anxiety during the times of COVID-19.

Ensure You Are Getting The Verified Facts

News and information about the COVID-19 pandemic is everywhere. Local news, online news sources, social media feeds everyone seems to have information, and they definitely all have opinions. Staying updated is vital, but you will want to ensure that who you are listening to and getting it right.

The COVID-19 pandemic is a grave situation, and you must take your cues and your facts from a verified source only. For information regarding the coronavirus, including symptoms, how to protect yourself, who is at higher risk, resources for the community and others. It is recommended that using recommend using govt sources as your primary source of truth.

Healthwise Look To Stay Fit

You must always keep your health as a priority, especially, during a pandemic, staying healthy becomes more crucial than ever.

Never forget about your health. You need to stay healthy to lower your risk of contracting any illness, including COVID-19. Staying healthy means eating healthy, drinking plenty of water and getting good sleep and exercising daily. These healthy habits will also assist you lower and manage the stress of handling the changes and challenges you face during these times.

Try To Manage Your Anxiety And Fear

There is a lot of uncertainty regarding the COVID-19. How long will it last? How grave will it get? But bear in mind, there are plenty of things about the coronavirus you do know and you are learning more about it daily.

It may sound counterintuitive, but 1 of the finest ways to manage your fear of the unknown is to prepare yourselves for the fact that uncertainty does exist.

Currently, no one can say how long this will last. But it would be realistic that everyone should all prepare for a quite unusual next few months, simultaneously one should also prepare for this to go on for even longer than that.

In the meantime, it is critical to counter anxiety and fear with the things that make you relax.

If you need to unwind, listen to music and talk to your loved ones especially when you are confined to your homes.  Do remember to practice social distancing as you meet others.

You can also overcome the fear of the unknown by paying attention on what you can control, like understanding your role in preventing the spread of coronavirus and maintaining the normalcy as much as you can.

Take Complete Advantage Of Your Home Stay

In the beginning, social distancing may sound uncomfortable but you might want to look at it as an opportunity. Consider utilizing this time at home to catch up on the kinds of stuff that get put on the backbench of a busy and hectic life.

·         Try to do the following while at home:

·         Do house-related chores like cleaning and washing.

·         Read books

·         Call and Chat with friends and relatives

·         Indulge in your hobbies.

·         Spend time with family members

Practice Meditation And Mindfulness

It is essential to stay updated on the COVID-19 pandemic, but fixating on it could lead to unwanted stress. After catching up on the news, you may look to set aside time for mindfulness, meditation or prayer.

Long, deep breaths, concentrating on the present, and taking some time to be grateful for what you have are all wonderful ways to re-align yourself and bring a sense of calmness to your life.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-10 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help.  Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high. 

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option.  Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service! 

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

Signs Of Obsessive Love, That One Should Not Ignore

There are several clear signs of obsession that you must definitely be aware of. Whether you are obsessed about someone or someone else is obsessed about you, it is essential that you know about these signs. Being in love can be wonderful, but it is completely different from obsession.

When you know about some of the common signs of obsession, you can provide yourself a bit of a reality check. Obsession is never good nor healthy, and the quicker you find out whether or not you have a concern with it the better off you will be.

Delhi based Psychologist and Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo talks about signs of obsessive love that one should not ignore.

marriage counselor in delhi shivani misri sadhoo

Something Seems Not Quite Right

One of the most basic signs of obsession is that something just does not seems right. Deep down you know that your feelings are not healthy, and you need to put an end to it. Listen to your instincts, because they will eventually end up being your salvation.

No Time For Yourself

If you are obsessed about someone else, you never want to spend a moment away from them. Those who are obsessed with others do not value alone time because they simply want to spend every waking moment with the object or person of their affection. If someone is obsessed with you, they perhaps would not ever want to let you go out of their sight. Anyway, this is not part of a healthy relationship.

Excessive Jealousy

There is no way that an individual can be obsessed with someone without being extremely jealous as well. Do you see yourself repeatedly getting jealous of even the slightest affection that others show towards your significant other? Jealousy tends to be a big problem when there is an obsession within a relationship. A little jealousy every once in a while is quite normal, but it can rapidly become a problem for those who are obsessed with the person they are with.

Total Lack Of Privacy

Obsession mostly leads to suspicion and a wretched lack of privacy. Does the individual you are with a demand to have all the passwords of your social media and email accounts? If so, there is a high chance that they are fully and utterly obsessed with you. Everyone needs a specific amount of privacy, even in a relationship. Privacy does not equal to secrecy, and it is important that you understand this.

They Move Too Fast

If with someone you have only been out only a few times and says they love you, consider it as a major red flag. You do not want to get into a serious relationship with anyone who moves this fast, because the probability is, they are already obsessed.

Constantly Keeps On Checking You

If you cannot go out with friends or colleagues without the person ringing up your phone, they are probably obsessed with you. You must not have to pay the person continuous attention no matter where you are.

Threaten You

If you are being threatened in any means by the person you are seeing, it is a matter of obsession, not love. You must take any threats the person makes quite seriously, because otherwise, you may end up in a very complex situation.

Going Through A Rough Phase In Your Love Life?

Relationship Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares Some Small Gestures That Can Enhance Your Relationship

At times, falling in love and being in a relationship may seem easy in the beginning. But maintaining a relationship and sailing through all the rough water is a challenge that the majority of the couples face. Is there any magic formula that may help you make your relationship grow stronger? There are not really, but surely some gestures and acts can bring two individuals closer. In fact, the accumulation of small gestures has a greater impact on the happiness of the couple than big but less frequent gestures.

Shivani Misri Sadhoo who is a top Marriage Counsellor, Relationship Expert and Founder of Saarthi Counselling Services talks about some of the small gestures that can enhance your relationship if you are going through a rough phase in your love life. Here, are some of them.

Compliment Your Partner, Genuinely

Compliments are a good way of letting your partner know that you still find him/her attractive. Sometimes, when you are with the same person for a significant time, you begin taking their efforts for granted. Why bury your love under the weight of your hectic schedule? Appreciate their efforts and achievements that you feel deserve recognition and compliment.

These small gestures are a strong way of showing that you are paying attention that will make them feel more valued.

Plan A Small Surprise

Spending months and years in a relationship, you become so comfortable in your own ways that you do not bother to express your love to the significant one. It does not imply that you do not love them anymore, it is a sign of stability. But should you allow the sparks to fly away by keeping it monotonous? At times, when words fall short to thank their presence in life, why not plan for small surprises? While spending lavishly is not necessary, surprise your partner with a gift or simply take them to a movie or dinner date. A small surprise will not only brighten their mood but will make them feel more loved.

Do A Random Act Of Kindness

Small gestures can make your partner really feel happy. Holding hands, preparing their favorite dish, assisting them to schedule an appointment or picking them up from the office are all small gestures of showing how deeply invested you are in this relationship. These are also a small indication that there is someone in the corner who pays attention to their daily needs.

Spend Good Time Together

Spending some worthy time together is a healthy way of keeping the spark alive in a relationship. Good time with your partner can be as easy as making an attempt to remain involved in each other’s lives, be it a walk, weekend drive or normal conversation about each other’s dreams and aspirations. As long as you can feel good around each other and give undivided attention to your significant one in things you do, it will be quality and a good time.

Reassurance

Everybody loves to be adored and a bit of reassurance is like an icing on the cake. You may think that your partner already knows how much you love him/her, but a reminder that you will always have their back will uplift their mood and make your bond even stronger. Letting your partner know how much you love them is always a good idea of showing your affection.

best marriage counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo

SIGNS YOU NEED MARRIAGE COUNSELLING

A large number of marriages are ending in divorces and that too in a society where marriage is considered a sacred thing. It would not take much to know that marriage is not a cakewalk any more at least in today’s fast life.  Marriage needs some serious hard-work, and it is something that most of us fail to focus on.

Though it starts with all the promises of a happily-ever-afters and story like romances, it actually is far away from this. Marriage involves understanding each other on levels beyond sexual compatibility, involving the minors and majors of daily lives. Have you and your partner been sharing a house but not a relationship? Have you been pondering where the spark went off and why you the two of you cannot even have a decent discussion? Well, as a matter of fact, it happens to several couples, some are quick to rebound while some need external help. This is when marriage counseling comes into play. If your marriage is kind of hanging on the rocks, then you can do with some good advice and look for marriage counseling.

In today’s article, Delhi’s top Marriage Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo talks about the signs you need marriage counseling.

You Hardly Talk To Each Other

Effective communication is the secret to solving most problems in life. But if you and your spouse seem to be drifting away from talking to each other, there is something that is definitely not quite right. A marriage counselor can help you communicate effectively with each other, in some innovative ways. Crumble in communication levels between a couple is the first sign of trouble.

When You Talk, It Always Ends Up In Fight

There is always a negative communication. Whenever you two talk, it ends up in a bitter argument or a fight and you end up belittling each other. You ridicule each other or use harsh words and tones to prove your point. While some individuals withdraw from these conversations, some continue to harp on it for hours together. This can even translate into emotional abuse in your marriage.

You Fight For Money And Are Financially Incompatible

Some couples have dissatisfaction with money and finances. Sometimes it is about one partner making more money than the other or the other spending far too much on unnecessary things. Sometimes, one partner feels they do not have sufficient money and gets anxious. Sometimes, the fight is about sharing the expenses. In all these cases, a marriage counselor can help you resolve your concerns about finances and help you get ways to compromise your financial situations.

You Withdraw Love And Care As A Way To Punish

Well, this is actually the most used weapon. Some spouses opt to withdraw all love and care for their partner in an attempt to punish the other after an argument or a fight. They often resort to silent treatment and if you receive this, then it is time to look for help.

When Big Life Changes Happens

Whether it is parenthood, a change in job, moving to a new city, loss of a close family member or something else some disruption in your marriage and life is inevitable. You could be prudent to seek therapy while you go through these changes to cope effectively.

You Are Not On The Same Page On Intimacy And Sex

Sex creates the backbone of marriage. Having too little or excessive sex indicates there is a problem. Some women tend to avoid sex after an unpleasant argument, while some men indulge in too much of it after feeling guilty of some issue. Balanced sex life is a must for a happy marriage, and if that is not happening, you may seek marriage counseling.

You Keep Secrets

Couples who are transparent with each other have relatively better and happy marriages. Partners feel more secure in a relationship when they have the confidence that they know everything about their partner. The moment secrets start creeping in, insecurities start to brew. These minor insecurities sometimes add to big issues and destroy a marriage. A marriage counselor can help you seek changes, and prepare you better for the challenges ahead.

Why Relationship Counselling today is Getting More Important Than Wedding Vows? – Shared by Marriage Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo

Traditionally, marriages in India is the union of two souls, not just an event that brings two people together. In fact, a few decades back, even a large percentage of urban Indians perceived that marriage bonding continues to exist for the next 7 life and death cycles. Times in 2019 has changed, technology development and the emergence of the global economy has shifted people’s lifestyle, changed life priorities, burdened large middle-class populations under loans & monthly EMIs, and most importantly it has restricted the time that people get to spend with their family.

Unfortunately, the conflict between the perception about marriage that most has received from our childhood and the harsh reality of modern urban Indian society has resulted in a common situation – where people get married without thinking of the chances of separation. And they miss taking most of the vital steps required to strengthen their relationship in the current social situation.

That is why it is sometimes a wise thing to think less of the wedding vows and take time to consider what they could do when the things may hit a rocky patch in the future. This is one of the major reasons why couples should think about marriage counseling on a serious note.

In this article Delhi’s top marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares insight on about the reason marriage counseling is more important than the wedding vows.

Premarital Counselling Helps You To Envisage the Relationship’s Future

Marriage counseling can actually start before the wedding. This counseling could include discussing the couple’s individual family past and the family they plan to develop together, including the possibility of kids, how you will deal with conflict.

You can also visit a marriage or family counselor for premarital counseling, which will help you to start your marriage with a clutter-free mind.

It could be a way to clear up any cynicism or fear of marriage and give you a secure place to talk about things like if, when and how many offsprings you want, how you can deal with monetary issues or other stressors in your relationship and to ensure you have similar values and goals for your relationship, your family and your life together.

Taking the time to have premarital counseling also sets you up to be more open to engaging in marriage counseling later on if you need it.

It Is Not Only About Fixing Things But Developing Stronger Roots.

The most common reasons couples opt for marriage counseling include lack of communication in their relationship, lack of emotional support or engagement and worries that they are probably headed toward divorce.

Other factors that often send couples to therapy include fighting or specific relationship matters like infidelity.

Some people simply want to make their marriages stronger and last longer and look to seek professional help.

While Proceeding For A Counseling, Be Certain About What You Want From It

Most couples engage in marriage counseling once issues have been broiling for months, or even years, and the more you wait to seek help the complex it is to work through the issues. Usually, on an average, a couple waits 6 years more than they should begin counseling.

Know what you need from counseling from the start. Are you and your partner all in, entirely committed to save the marriage, no matter how much effort it takes? Or is one or both of you are certain you want to call it off? Knowing the answers will help define what success feels like, but either way, you must maintain an open mind about the process.