Marriage Counsellor and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

In a properly functioning body, sleep helps the brain to process your emotions and memories at the optimum level. When you wake up well-rested your brain maintains a healthy mental and physical energy all throughout your day.

On the other hand, sleep deprivation restricts brain’s ability to do just the superficial activities like sticking to a daily routine work. All throughout the day, the person may find challenges to gather enough mental energy to think and innovate and at night the brain would get so much exhausted that simple relationship activity like conversations with partner, romantic feelings and sexual drive may turn Zero.

Across the world, scientific research is gradually suggesting that sleep may be the biggest factor in maintaining a good relationship. Quality of sleep of either one or both the partners may affect everything from attraction to break-ups. Today India’s leading relationship and marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares how poor sleep can be affecting your relationship.

1.       Poor sleep habits generally turn a person unattractive 

After all nobody like the company of a mentally exhausted person, even the emotionally tired person himself/herself looks for solace. In a relationship too, mental exhaustion that is generally triggered by poor sleeping habits, reduces attraction between partners.

2.       Poor sleep can fuel conflicts. 

Research suggests that sleep deprivation is one of the primary causes of couple conflicts. Poor sleep leads to poor or irritated mood that causes frequent couple conflict, less understanding of partners’ emotions, and poorer conflict resolution.

3.    Sleep issues may increase marital aggression.

People with poor sleep habits often find it hard to control their impulses. This is one of the most discreet triggers for degradation of relationship quality. Scientific studies have confirmed the links between sleep trouble, self-control, and aggressive behaviors. Hence problematic sleep translates to lower self-control, couples suffer from more aggression in their marriages.

4.       Healthy sleep encourages a healthy sex life. 

Behavioral studies have identified that men and women are less likely to be in the mood for sex if they’re sleep deprived. Good and adequate sleep translated to more sexual desire and more likelihood of engaging in sex with a partner. 

No matter how hard it may sound but maintaining a wonderful relationship is not easy, especially in today’s fast lifestyle. Without much warning romance can dry out, marital life can turn monotonous and if couples still don’t pay right attention then their marriage can slip from bad to worse.

So how people can identify it’s time for them to give strong attention to their relationship?

India’s eminent relationship expert and marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares that prior to a relationship start to sour, there are certain body language signs that couples exhibits. She shares if couples pay attention to these warning signs, they can identify it’s time to focus hard on their relationship.   

1. Observe the pupils

Generally eyes can tell, a story about one’s relationship. When people are sexually attracted to someone, their pupils generally dilate in the moment of intimacy. The change of pupils happens subconsciously; hence it’s a good indicator of your partner’s interest in you.

So pay attention to your partner’s eye, if you witness the pupils getting shorter when you get intimate or go for a kiss  – remember it may be a sign that something is deeply bothering your partner.  Look for the right moment and discuss if something is bothering your partner.

2. Stonewalling

If a person turns their back on their partner, hangs up the phone before the conversation is over, or tunes out, it is referred to as stonewalling. Not taking your partner’s thoughts or perspective into consideration is a major red flag.

3. Touching neck during conversation

In emotional situations, people have tendency to find ways to comfort ourselves. Especially, women, in particular, typically touch their neck or throat. Oftentimes, touching the neck or throat indicates that someone is keeping something from another person.

4. Conversation and attention

Check how your partner reacts or pay attention to you when you are in conversation with him/her?  If he/she plays with his/her phone, nods without listing or worse, completely ignore you, then you its time you must introspect yourself, try to identify why your partner feels disinterested during the conversation. Sometimes it can be a simple thing like – your partner is too tired to listen to you or he/she doesn’t feel interested on your topic or sometimes it can be something else. Hence talk to your partner if you witness this body language.

5. Leaning away

 Couples from healthy relationship have tendency to lean toward one another with their bodies, legs, shoulder and even chairs. If you or your partner starts to seat away from each other, or even if you both sit in one sofa, your body points in opposite direction to each other – it could mean that you both are disinterested in connecting with each other. Hence it’s an indication that you both must pay full attention to your marriage.