Marriage Counsellor and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

Be it arrange marriage scenario or online dating, sometimes a girl meets a man who seems too much in a hurry to let the relationship happen. Such men may talk about planning children, ask for physical intimacy even before knowing you properly.

They never seem bothered or willing to understand what a woman feels about them. Surely, they are a real turn off for every woman, but if you are confused if you are making the right decision or not, Delhi’s eminent Marriage Counsellor and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares fours signs to identify if the man is needy and desperate.

Repeated Sweet Talker

After the first date, this man will talk sweet, but ‘every time’. Yes, this is the first sign that he simply cannot do without you ever. If post the first few dates, a man is repeatedly texting you throughout the day, explaining to you that he is busy thinking about you, imagining his life with you, and is more than eager to meet you every now and then ( makes you feel embarrassed outside your workplace with gifts or bunch of flowers), well, actually he is way too desperate and clingy. Think about it, either the man is simply trying to get hooked on, or he is desperately in need of a woman.

I Need You Too

He wants to be with you even when you are with your friends. Which person does not like a small gathering time with friends, without their partner? But what when your man is more than willing and adamant to be a part of your girl gang, even when he is uninvited. Just think what you would ever feel if your friend brings along her date when your girl group is having that bonding time. Won’t you think, he cannot even leave her alone for once.

Looking to do Things Faster

Has he initiated talks about the future like sex, moving in, marriage, children, and finances all too soon? Actually, there he is, this man wants it all at once and instantly, actually, he falls in the category “needs it now”. He needs you to the extent of not trying or thinking to even wait for you to think about them or time to pass before he even understands you better.

No More with Friends

Does he look to stay away from friends for you? Initially, it probably sounds really wonderful about him. After all who does not like a man who prioritizes his date over his friends. But if he is the type who cancels every single plan with his friend only for you, that’s an alarm that the man is Mr. Needy. Come to think of it, he is about to create a relationship with you where he has convinced you he is fine with lying all day on that couch with you rather than being with his friends when he is supposed to do so (always, that is). And soon, he will ask you to do the same.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-10 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help.  Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high. 

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option.  Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service! 

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

Gaslighting is a way in which an individual or entity, in order to gain more power, makes a victim question their reality. It works way better than you might think. Any individual is prone to gaslighting, and it is a common tactic of dictators, narcissists, and cult leaders. It is done steadily, so the victim never realizes how heavily they have been brainwashed.

Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo tells about the warning signs of gaslighting.

They Tell Outright Lies

You know this is a blatant lie. Yet they are telling you the lie with a straight face. Why are they so blatant? Because they are setting up a precedent. Once they tell you a big lie, you are unsure if anything they say is real. Keeping you unsteady and off-kilter is the goal.

They Instantly Deny They Ever Said Anything

You know he said he would do something you know he told it. But they downright deny it. It makes you doubt questioning your reality, maybe they never said that thing. And the more they do it, the more you question yourself and start accepting theirs.

They Wear You Over a Period of Time

This is one of the subtle things about gaslighting, it is done steadily, over time. A lie here and there a snide comment quite often and then it begins ramping up. Even the smartest, most self-aware person can be sucked into gaslighting it is that powerful. It is the frog in the frying pan analogy. The heat is turned up gradually, so the frog never fails to realize what is happening to it.

Whatever is Near or Dear to You, They Use it as a Tool

They know-how important your kids or friends are to you, and they know how dearer your identity is to you. So those may be one of the initial things they attack. If you have kids, they will tell you that you should not have had those kids. They will tell you will be a worthy person if only you did not have a long list of negative qualities. They attack the base of your being.

Their Words and Actions Differ

When one is dealing with an individual or entity that gaslights, look for what they are doing irrespective of what they are saying. What they are saying means nothing it is plain talk. What they are doing is a concern.

They Tell You, Everyone, You Know is a Liar

By constantly telling you that everyone you know is a liar, it again makes you doubt your reality. You have never known someone with the ability to do this, so they must be telling the truth, correct? No. It is a manipulation tactic. It makes people turn to the gaslighter for the “right” information, which is not the right information at all.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-10 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help.  Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.

 
You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option.  Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service! 

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

Do you usually feel tired after waking up and frequently miss quality sleep? Even though you are not using gadgets in your bed and lately, consume less caffeine at night, and generally go to your bed on time. Then it’s time you take a careful look at your bedroom, as Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo suggests that your bedroom condition can impact your sleep quality due in these many ways: –

Avoid Clutter

A cloth-stand with laundry clothes in your bedroom, toys spread on your dressing table, a corner tool covered with few cloths – has the potential to affect your sleep quality. Yes, the research has identified that clutter in your bedroom can subconsciously increase your stress and anxiety, and a cleaner, more organized room tends to create a sense of peace.

Be careful with wall colours 

We generally perceive wall colours have a universal impact on an individual’s moods but that’s not always true. Every person can react differently to a different colour, for example, shades of blue are often considered the most calming and peaceful for wall colour but some people find blue to be sad instead of tranquil. Thus, evaluate your bedroom wall colours, and try different colours.

Sneaky light

Darkness is an important tool to help activate melatonin (a hormone that helps the body feel sleepy). Any kind of light source can suppress this hormone and can make you feel more alert. Hence your bedroom may be hiding your sleep culprit in the form of the thinner window curtain, glowing LED clock, or the charging light from your laptop charger.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-10 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help.  Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high. 

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option.  Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service! 

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

Aditi, 38, and Samar, 42, sat on opposite ends of the couch during their first couples counselling session. When I ask them about some of the obstacles, they are facing in their 5-year marriage, Aditi opened up about why she wanted to meet with me.

Like Aditi and Samar, many of the couples that I work with in my clinic have feelings of mistrust when it comes to facing daily life challenges initial years are always challenging and often it has a lot of things to do with trust.

Aditi said Samar has been cold-shouldering her ever since she spent without his consent and was unhappy with the billings. Even though it was strictly for her own business.

Trust is an Important Aspect of Intimacy

Aditi knows that her emotional sensitivity makes it hard for her to open up to Samar and increase her fear of being hurt or left alone by him. She strives to be clear with Samar about finances but struggles to do it because she does not feel secure in her relationship with him. After going through a difficult divorce, Aditi has trust issues and describes how she is fearing of losing Samar.

Although Aditi does not believe she was overspending on her business, she also understands that withholding financial information is building mistrust and damaging her marriage.

Then Samar said, I do not always want to talk things through, but it does not mean I do not love Aditi. She feels insecure and wants me to reassure her every time that I will be there for her and she needs to understand that I am not going to leave her as her ex-husband did. When she gets mistrustful, her voice tone changes, and she mostly threatens to leave me.

Then Aditi responded, things do not always go well when we disagree. When we have issues, Samar does not normally want to talk about it. And I have an issue because my ex-partner also gave me the silent treatment and then left after saying that he wanted a divorce. I feel dejected and rejected when Samar goes into his shell, but I am learning to let go of my old baggage and provide him space.

So, what can they do now?

Learning to trust each other

One of the toughest things about trusting someone is learning to have faith in your own judgment. Trust is about a lot more than finding signs that your partner has been dishonest. It is about believing that they have your best interests in their heart.

Every person is born with the ability to trust others but due to life experiences, you may have become less trusting as a form of self-defense. Falling in love and getting married can be uplifting and scary all at once. An incapability to trust a new partner can take several forms, from feeling they are dishonest or secretive, to doubting they are going to keep their promises or be fallible.

Take a moment to think about this. Your partner is not alone responsible for creating mistrustful feelings. In the majority of the cases, you should take equal responsibility for making an atmosphere of safety and security in your relationship. In order to start the process of overcoming mistrust, ask yourself:

·         What is the story that you are narrating yourself?

·         Do you fear of loss and abandonment cloud your perspective and cause you to overreact to your partner’s actions?

·         Is your mistrust coming from something that is really happening in the present, or is it related to your past?

·         Do you feel comfortable asking for what you need and allowing yourself to be vulnerable?

·         Do you bring your best self to your interactions with your partner?

·         Do you possess self-love and allow yourself to be loved and respected?

Several relationships are damaged by self-fulfilling prophecies. If you believe your partner will harm you, you can unconsciously boost hurts to emerge in your relationship. But gradually, if you learn to operate from a viewpoint that your partner loves you and desires the best for you, you can enjoy trust in your marriage.

Here are 7 ways to proactively build trust in your relationship.

Identify your feelings and practice being vulnerable in minor steps

Develop confidence in being open with your partner. Discussing small issues like schedules and meals is a good place to begin before handling bigger matters like disciplining kids and finances.

Be honest and discuss about key issues in your relationship

Be certain to be forthcoming regarding finances, your past, and issues with a family member, co-workers, or kids. Do not sweep vital issues under the rug since this can lead to resentment.

Challenge mistrustful thoughts

Ask yourself, is your lack of trust due to your partner’s actions, your own insecurities, or both? Be aware of unresolved problems from your past relationships that could be triggering mistrust in the present.

Believe in your intuition and instincts

Have faith in your own perceptions and give attention to red flags. Be prone and ask for reassurance if you feel mistrustful.

Think your partner has good intentions

If he/she lets you down, it could just be failure incompetence at times people simply make a mistake.

Listen to your partner’s side of the case

Believe that there are honest and genuine people in the world. Unless you have a valid reason to mistrust him/her, have faith in your partner.

Practice having a recovery conversation post an argument

Take a little break if you feel overwhelmed and flooded and set a timeline to process what happened. This will provide you both time to calm down and analyse your thoughts so you can have a more meaningful conversation with your partner.

For a relationship to succeed in the longer course, you should be able to trust each other. Building trust with a partner is actually about the small moments of connection that lets you to feel safe and to truly believe that your partner will be there up for you. It is the bedrock of a happy, long term partnership.

An important part of my work with Aditi and Samar focused on facilitating conversations between them that assisted to rebuild trust and affirm their commitment to each over time.

For example, Samar was able to be vulnerable and apologize for giving Aditi the silent treatment, which triggered her feelings of being mistrust and insecurity. Rather than telling her, she was too needy, he started responding to her bids for connection quite often. Luckily, Aditi gave Samar a sincere apology for her monetary infidelity linked to expenditures for her business, and she promised to practice complete disclosure in the future.

In the end, Aditi said, it was not expected when Samar was willing to listen to her side of the story and not throw out blame. I made an error and was willing to accept it for my actions but he did not rub it in or make me feel guilty than I already did. It feels like we can start again now that I have apologized and made a promise to be more open with Samar. I understand that I am fortunate that Samar forgave me.

You have the ability to shackle free from the hold that mistrust has on your relationship and make the kind of intimacy you deserve.

**To keep the confidentiality intact the names of the clients have been changed.  

Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo

I am Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo, I am an experienced and certified counselling psychologist, Gottman Method Certified Couples Therapist and works with eminent Hospitals in Delhi. I have helped over 17,000 couples and individuals, both in India and abroad, and helped them to solve their relationship issues, communication difficulties, and intimacy issues and rejuvenate their marital life.

I also have specialization in the area of Personal Crisis interventions like coping-up with Separation and Divorce, Domestic and Child and Adolescent issues, Depression, Stress, Loss, and Grief. I am currently working with India’s top hospital groups like IBS Hospital New Delhi (Institute of Brain & Spine) and with Express Clinics. I am also a Level 3 Trained Gottman Method Certified Couples Therapist.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

With mounting tension and stress during COVID-19 lockdown, most couples are challenged to maintain peace and a good emotional level during their home isolation. In fact, a lot of couples may be possibly ruining their relationships in quarantine without even realizing it.

To avoid such a scenario and maintain a healthy relationship level during the lockdown, India’s leading relationship expert and couple therapist Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares 3 ways for couples to avoid relationship problem during the lockdown.

Avoid being overly critical

Being stuck inside home added with mental stress and anxieties may easily tempt people to become hyper-focused on every small thing that is happening around them. This may trigger the person to become over critical of their partners. Resultant, you may frequently express advice or criticize them because you are not liking the way your partner is coping with the pandemic, or perhaps [you] are critical of the fact that they aren’t making an effort to exercise, etc.

Remember, your partner too is passing his/her own inner battle, he/she is facing the anxiety and stress from additional home chores, financial challenges, difficulty to do work from home, etc. Hence next time you feel to give advice to your partner or feel angry about him or her, hold for a moment and remind yourself that your partner too is going through their own inner stress and at least try not to add to it.

Give your partner his/her professional space

Lockdown has made working couples to share their working space at home. When couples start to share a workspace, there is a strong possibility that after some time, little friendly tips to partners may soon turn interferences into each other’s professional space. Hence give your partner enough professional space and hold your temptations to share suggestions involuntarily.

Don’t forget to check with your partner

During a pandemic, it’s easy to get caught up in our own stress and mental pressure, but that doesn’t mean you forget to check with your partner as it can hurt them and also send them a wrong message. Asking your partner how they are doing is an easy way to show that you care about his/her feelings. Allowing each other to open up will strengthen the trust within a relationship and allow your home to remain a safe space for both of you to express yourselves.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-10 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help.  Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high. 

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option.  Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service! 

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

Life as you all know it has been put on hold indefinitely. You have all been asked to stay at home to support so that spread of the COVID-19’ speed can be reduced or restricted. Together, we all can save lives and this is something you can all get behind.

But what would you do while you are confined to your homes? May be watching your favorite online or television shows, or sitting down with a good book.

Today, Delhi based Psychologist and Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares the best ways to remain happy, healthy, blissfully content and busy while you are in the lockdown.

Here, are some of those ways.

Watch Your Favourite Shows

Online streaming is your first option of call in the COVID-19 storm. Plenty of shows, movies that too, all at the touch of a single button. This is the thing dreams are made of. But you do not necessarily have to opt-out for a subscription to get your shows on because there are lots of free digital TV services that can keep you entertained.

Only make sure you get up and move around between intervals, or do a little workout.

Workout As Per Your Convenience

Locked inside does not have to mean that you will remain inactive. In fact, a workout can be exactly what you required to quiet those restless legs and it is a lot simpler than you think. No need for any equipment, just have your phone and watch the latest exercise videos directly to your living room.

Read Books

There is nothing quite like sitting up on the sofa with a good book and this is a perfect time, so why not keep aside the distractions and let yourself lose in another world? Whether it is sci-fi, romance, mythology, or any topic of your choice there is something for everyone. If you do not have books you can download them from several sites in your mobile, tablets or laptops.

Try Some Recipes

Markets and other food shops may remain open throughout the COVID-19 outbreak, if not then you must have something in your kitchen. So, there is nothing to panic about. And with a little extra time on your hands, this can be the perfect opportunity to try a new recipe or cook your favorite meal. You can probably have a recipe book at home, also you can avail plenty of ideas online.

Clean Your House

A great way to spend some of your daily time. At times like these, it is simply natural to want to clean. Because of COVID-19 a new illness, which is not clear how it spreads, but if it is anything like the viruses one is used to, it is possibly to be through coughs and sneezes. Tiny droplets can be inhaled or drop on surfaces where they are then picked up and transferred to other places. Dedicatedly clean your house daily just to make the environment of your house clean and safe.

Pamper Yourself

Even during these hours of crisis, it is essential to take time for yourself, so why not enjoy a bit of pampering? You will not go to your saloon or have your nails done, but you can still, give yourself a nice hot and an aromatic bath and have a cozy me time.

Create New Hobbies

This is another opportunity to explore new horizons. You are locked at home and need to spend time doing something creative. Thus, it is a perfect time to try your hand at things like painting, do meditation, or even learn languages or other interesting things online. There are numerous options to explore.

Play Games

Whether you live alone are with family everyone loves a little bit of gaming. So indulge in a round of some indoor games with your wife, kids, and other family members. Else, you can play plenty of offline and online games using your gadgets.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-10 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help.  Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high. 

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option.  Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service! 

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

When it is about the COVID-19 or the coronavirus pandemic, there is what you hear and see and post taking it all there is how it all makes you feel.

You have been asked to stay home as long as possible. Restaurants and eating joints are taking delivery to home orders only. Bars, malls, theaters, offices, schools, and colleges are all closed. You switch on the television to watch the news and again it is all about the coronavirus.

You go through your social media feeds and COVID-19 is there, too. It is far too much to take in, and if you are feeling overwhelmed, stressed and panicked you are not alone.

But everyone is prepared, and want you to feel prepared, too.

The world has seen epidemics before and overcame those times. You are all in this together, and it is vital that you all stay calm and work together.

If you see yourself feeling stressed about the situation, this article written by Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo based in Delhi is for you.

Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares essential tips to control your fear and anxiety during the times of COVID-19.

Ensure You Are Getting The Verified Facts

News and information about the COVID-19 pandemic is everywhere. Local news, online news sources, social media feeds everyone seems to have information, and they definitely all have opinions. Staying updated is vital, but you will want to ensure that who you are listening to and getting it right.

The COVID-19 pandemic is a grave situation, and you must take your cues and your facts from a verified source only. For information regarding the coronavirus, including symptoms, how to protect yourself, who is at higher risk, resources for the community and others. It is recommended that using recommend using govt sources as your primary source of truth.

Healthwise Look To Stay Fit

You must always keep your health as a priority, especially, during a pandemic, staying healthy becomes more crucial than ever.

Never forget about your health. You need to stay healthy to lower your risk of contracting any illness, including COVID-19. Staying healthy means eating healthy, drinking plenty of water and getting good sleep and exercising daily. These healthy habits will also assist you lower and manage the stress of handling the changes and challenges you face during these times.

Try To Manage Your Anxiety And Fear

There is a lot of uncertainty regarding the COVID-19. How long will it last? How grave will it get? But bear in mind, there are plenty of things about the coronavirus you do know and you are learning more about it daily.

It may sound counterintuitive, but 1 of the finest ways to manage your fear of the unknown is to prepare yourselves for the fact that uncertainty does exist.

Currently, no one can say how long this will last. But it would be realistic that everyone should all prepare for a quite unusual next few months, simultaneously one should also prepare for this to go on for even longer than that.

In the meantime, it is critical to counter anxiety and fear with the things that make you relax.

If you need to unwind, listen to music and talk to your loved ones especially when you are confined to your homes.  Do remember to practice social distancing as you meet others.

You can also overcome the fear of the unknown by paying attention on what you can control, like understanding your role in preventing the spread of coronavirus and maintaining the normalcy as much as you can.

Take Complete Advantage Of Your Home Stay

In the beginning, social distancing may sound uncomfortable but you might want to look at it as an opportunity. Consider utilizing this time at home to catch up on the kinds of stuff that get put on the backbench of a busy and hectic life.

·         Try to do the following while at home:

·         Do house-related chores like cleaning and washing.

·         Read books

·         Call and Chat with friends and relatives

·         Indulge in your hobbies.

·         Spend time with family members

Practice Meditation And Mindfulness

It is essential to stay updated on the COVID-19 pandemic, but fixating on it could lead to unwanted stress. After catching up on the news, you may look to set aside time for mindfulness, meditation or prayer.

Long, deep breaths, concentrating on the present, and taking some time to be grateful for what you have are all wonderful ways to re-align yourself and bring a sense of calmness to your life.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-10 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help.  Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high. 

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option.  Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service! 

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

For several couples, being stuck inside together in their little spaces for a certain week seems like a dream come true. But for other couples, this might be their worst nightmare. From what has been heard, that some couples quarantined together are already losing their minds and you have got a long way to go.

As you are all being told to follow and practice social distancing, and even in certain cases, being instructed not to leave the house completely unless for critical purposes, couples are being quarantined together for an indefinite period of time. If you are feeling stressed out about the effects of coronavirus on your relationship, understand that you are not alone, and your anxious reaction to being quarantined with your partner is just normal.

Today, Delhi based Psychologist, Marriage Counselor and Relationship Expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares a few tips to keep your relationship away from destroying during quarantine and lockdown.

How To Maintain Your Relationship?

Any kind of sudden change takes plenty of time to adjust to, and when you are all navigating something unprecedented such as the Covid-19, further beings asked to work from home and being around your significant other round the clock, this is plenty of changes at once. There’s also, plenty of uncertainty right now, and your stress levels are high. So, being suddenly enclosed in an apartment or home with your partner round the clock, when you are not used to it, with everything else, is a lot for your mind has to cope with.”

In order to assist, you cope with all of these modifications, here are some of the tips that could be helpful.

Make Some Time For Alone Time

Alone time every day is essential. Everybody needs time for themselves and it cannot only be when you use the bathroom. Take time to be alone whether this is to simply breathe, text with a friend, sleeping, read and whatever that you are interested in. The crucial thing is to take time to be with you, yourself, and only you.”

Try to arrange timing with your partner, that way, when you are having your alone time, your partner can have theirs, as well. You both require time apart from each other to reboot and make sure that you do not rip each other’s eyes out.

Make A Schedule

Several amongst you are struggling to keep a normal schedule presently, which is a sad thing because most of you rely on schedules for a sense of stability and even to counter things such as anxiety and depression.

Couples need to sit down together and come up with a tentative schedule to add some structure and make things seem a little normal. This is specifically helpful for couples navigating working from home together that too for the first time, or being around each other more than normal. You can also use this period to set some normal ground rules about noise or interruptions while working.

Keep In Touch With Outside World

Sadly, during this period, this is not possible (actually, possible but quite ill-advised PLEASE do not do it unless it is a sort of an emergency. The total objective of social distancing is to avoid the spreading of germs, and that only is possible when you all stay home. But, thanks to modern technology, there are several ways to communicate with others. Do not neglect relationships with friends and loved ones who are not your partner.

Ensure that you have 1 to 2 phone calls every day with other people that are helpful to your mental health and overall sanity and connection. Plan video chats or phone calls with at least a friend or family member daily. It is paramount to maintain your other relationships, even while you are mainly with your partner.

Learn How To Communicate Better

Communication is a base in every relationship, but when you are quarantined together all round the clock, communication is even more essential. Part of this is learning to fight well-meaning being compassionate, and not engaging in ridiculing, name-calling, or shaming. You are all going to lose it for what sounds like no reason, you are going to be rude or not the best version of yourself and that is fine, you need to give yourself and your partner a grace.

Use This Time To Your Advantage

If you are amongst those couples who live together but rarely ever sees each other due to conflicting work schedules or social lives, this is the time to reconnect. Although it does not feel good to be trapped at home, you can still utilize the most of it and do fun activities with your partner.

Here are some of the things that you can do.

·         Spend extra time, learn and explore new things about each other.

·         Play games together.

·         Clean, redecorate and make your home look good.

Coronavirus has pushed the world into uncertainty and the continuous news about the pandemic can seem relentless. All of this is taking its toll on the majority of people’s mental health, especially those already living with conditions such as anxiety and OCD. The question arises how can you protect your mental health?

Being concerned or worried about the news is acceptable, but for several people, it can make existing mental health problems even worse.

Today, Delhi based Psychologist and Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo tells how you can protect your mental health and be prepared during this pandemic.

The fear of getting out of control and unable to bear the uncertainty are common characteristics of several anxiety disorders. So, it is understandable that various people with pre-existing anxiety are having challenges at the moment.

Plenty of anxiety is rooted in worrying regarding the unknown and waiting for something to happen, coronavirus is that phenomena

So the question remains how can one protects his/her mental health? Take a look at some of the most important things that one needs to follow not just if one has anxiety or OCD related problems but for general people as well.

Restrict The News And Be Cautious What You Read

Reading and listening to plenty of news about coronavirus has the potential to led to panic attacks for some.

When one is feeling anxious his/her thoughts could spiral out of control and one starts thinking about disastrous outcomes. One usually, is worried about his parents, family, and people he knows.

Normally when one suffers one can get away from a situation. But this situation seems beyond control.

Having considerable time spending away from the news, websites and social media can help one to manage their anxiety.

• Restrict the duration of time you spend reading or watching things that are not making you feel better. If possible, decide on a particular time to check in with the news
• There are plenty of wrong information moving around stay well informed by sticking to trusted and authenticate sources of information like government websites.

Take Break From Social Media And Mute Notifications

Some people have health anxiety and feel necessary to stay informed and find out the subject. But at the same time, they know that social media can be a trigger.

One randomly clicks on a link or hashtag and sees all kind of unverified content and it could make some really anxious and indecisive.

Now one needs to be extremely careful about which profiles or links he/she checks and avoid clicking on coronavirus related materials. Trying listening to songs or reading books instead of using social media.

• Mute or unfollow news, contents that could be triggering on any social media platform you are using.
• Mute or exit WhatsApp groups if you find them too bothersome.

Stay Connected With People

The number of people in self-isolation may increase so it could be a good time to ensure you have the right contact numbers and email addresses of the people, you care about the most.

If you are in lockdown the feel connected to the people around you.

• If you are self-isolating, have a balance between maintaining a routine and making sure every day has some variety.
• It may end up actually seeming like quite a productive number of days or weeks. You can work regarding your important tasks or read a book that you were not able to do it until now.

Clean And Wash Your Hand But Not Exorbitantly

OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) people might be seen in the increase in assistance requests from people whose fears have become centered on the coronavirus pandemic.

For individuals having OCD and some form of anxiety, being consistently told to wash your hands can be particularly difficult to hear.

People living with the fear of contamination is one aspect of having OCD. The constant advice or reminders about handwashing can be a big trigger for people who have recovered.

It is quite difficult because one has to do some of the behaviors that he/she has been avoiding.

The matter is to look out for is the function, for instance, is the washing being carried out for the suggested amount of time to decrease the risk of spreading the virus or it is simply being done ritualistically in a particular order to feel simply well?

• People with OCD, getting normal means being able to leave the premises, so self-isolating can pose another challenge.
• If one is forced to stay at home, one has lots of time on their hands, monotony and boredom can make OCD worse.

Prevent Burnout

It might be possible that there will be several weeks and months of the coronavirus pandemic ahead, it is vital to have downtime. Be mindful, continue to access nature and sunlight whenever possible. Do physical activities, eat healthily and stay hydrated. Practice the following things.

Accept: Observe and acknowledge the uncertainty when it comes to mind.

Halt: Do not react as you usually do. Do not react at all. Halt and breathe.

Withdraw: Tell yourself this is simply the worry talking, and this obvious need for certainty is not supporting and not necessary. It is just a thought or feeling. Do not believe everything you think. Thoughts are never a statement or realities.

Let Free: Let free your thought or feeling. It will pass. You do not have to respond to them. You could imagine them floating away in the form of a cloud or bubble.

Search: Observe or search the present moment, because presently, at this moment, all is fine. Check your breathing and the sensations of it. Look the ground beneath you. Look around and observe what you see, hear, touch, and smell currently. Then shift your center of attention to something else on what you require to do, on what you were doing previously prior you noticed the worry, or do something different mindfully with your total concentration.

There are several clear signs of obsession that you must definitely be aware of. Whether you are obsessed about someone or someone else is obsessed about you, it is essential that you know about these signs. Being in love can be wonderful, but it is completely different from obsession.

When you know about some of the common signs of obsession, you can provide yourself a bit of a reality check. Obsession is never good nor healthy, and the quicker you find out whether or not you have a concern with it the better off you will be.

Delhi based Psychologist and Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo talks about signs of obsessive love that one should not ignore.

Something Seems Not Quite Right

One of the most basic signs of obsession is that something just does not seems right. Deep down you know that your feelings are not healthy, and you need to put an end to it. Listen to your instincts, because they will eventually end up being your salvation.

No Time For Yourself

If you are obsessed about someone else, you never want to spend a moment away from them. Those who are obsessed with others do not value alone time because they simply want to spend every waking moment with the object or person of their affection. If someone is obsessed with you, they perhaps would not ever want to let you go out of their sight. Anyway, this is not part of a healthy relationship.

Excessive Jealousy

There is no way that an individual can be obsessed with someone without being extremely jealous as well. Do you see yourself repeatedly getting jealous of even the slightest affection that others show towards your significant other? Jealousy tends to be a big problem when there is an obsession within a relationship. A little jealousy every once in a while is quite normal, but it can rapidly become a problem for those who are obsessed with the person they are with.

Total Lack Of Privacy

Obsession mostly leads to suspicion and a wretched lack of privacy. Does the individual you are with a demand to have all the passwords of your social media and email accounts? If so, there is a high chance that they are fully and utterly obsessed with you. Everyone needs a specific amount of privacy, even in a relationship. Privacy does not equal to secrecy, and it is important that you understand this.

They Move Too Fast

If with someone you have only been out only a few times and says they love you, consider it as a major red flag. You do not want to get into a serious relationship with anyone who moves this fast, because the probability is, they are already obsessed.

Constantly Keeps On Checking You

If you cannot go out with friends or colleagues without the person ringing up your phone, they are probably obsessed with you. You must not have to pay the person continuous attention no matter where you are.

Threaten You

If you are being threatened in any means by the person you are seeing, it is a matter of obsession, not love. You must take any threats the person makes quite seriously, because otherwise, you may end up in a very complex situation.