Tag Archive : marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo

Tips To Keep Your Relationship Away From Destroying During Quarantine And Lockdown

For several couples, being stuck inside together in their little spaces for a certain week seems like a dream come true. But for other couples, this might be their worst nightmare. From what has been heard, that some couples quarantined together are already losing their minds and you have got a long way to go.

Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo

As you are all being told to follow and practice social distancing, and even in certain cases, being instructed not to leave the house completely unless for critical purposes, couples are being quarantined together for an indefinite period of time. If you are feeling stressed out about the effects of coronavirus on your relationship, understand that you are not alone, and your anxious reaction to being quarantined with your partner is just normal.

Today, Delhi based Psychologist, Marriage Counselor and Relationship Expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares a few tips to keep your relationship away from destroying during quarantine and lockdown.

How To Maintain Your Relationship?

Any kind of sudden change takes plenty of time to adjust to, and when you are all navigating something unprecedented such as the Covid-19, further beings asked to work from home and being around your significant other round the clock, this is plenty of changes at once. There’s also, plenty of uncertainty right now, and your stress levels are high. So, being suddenly enclosed in an apartment or home with your partner round the clock, when you are not used to it, with everything else, is a lot for your mind has to cope with.”

In order to assist, you cope with all of these modifications, here are some of the tips that could be helpful.

Make Some Time For Alone Time

Alone time every day is essential. Everybody needs time for themselves and it cannot only be when you use the bathroom. Take time to be alone whether this is to simply breathe, text with a friend, sleeping, read and whatever that you are interested in. The crucial thing is to take time to be with you, yourself, and only you.”

Try to arrange timing with your partner, that way, when you are having your alone time, your partner can have theirs, as well. You both require time apart from each other to reboot and make sure that you do not rip each other’s eyes out.

Make A Schedule

Several amongst you are struggling to keep a normal schedule presently, which is a sad thing because most of you rely on schedules for a sense of stability and even to counter things such as anxiety and depression.

Couples need to sit down together and come up with a tentative schedule to add some structure and make things seem a little normal. This is specifically helpful for couples navigating working from home together that too for the first time, or being around each other more than normal. You can also use this period to set some normal ground rules about noise or interruptions while working.

Keep In Touch With Outside World

Sadly, during this period, this is not possible (actually, possible but quite ill-advised PLEASE do not do it unless it is a sort of an emergency. The total objective of social distancing is to avoid the spreading of germs, and that only is possible when you all stay home. But, thanks to modern technology, there are several ways to communicate with others. Do not neglect relationships with friends and loved ones who are not your partner.

Ensure that you have 1 to 2 phone calls every day with other people that are helpful to your mental health and overall sanity and connection. Plan video chats or phone calls with at least a friend or family member daily. It is paramount to maintain your other relationships, even while you are mainly with your partner.

Learn How To Communicate Better

Communication is a base in every relationship, but when you are quarantined together all round the clock, communication is even more essential. Part of this is learning to fight well-meaning being compassionate, and not engaging in ridiculing, name-calling, or shaming. You are all going to lose it for what sounds like no reason, you are going to be rude or not the best version of yourself and that is fine, you need to give yourself and your partner a grace.

Use This Time To Your Advantage

If you are amongst those couples who live together but rarely ever sees each other due to conflicting work schedules or social lives, this is the time to reconnect. Although it does not feel good to be trapped at home, you can still utilize the most of it and do fun activities with your partner.

Here are some of the things that you can do.

·         Spend extra time, learn and explore new things about each other.

·         Play games together.

·         Clean, redecorate and make your home look good.

Why Relationship Counselling today is Getting More Important Than Wedding Vows? – Shared by Marriage Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo

Traditionally, marriages in India is the union of two souls, not just an event that brings two people together. In fact, a few decades back, even a large percentage of urban Indians perceived that marriage bonding continues to exist for the next 7 life and death cycles. Times in 2019 has changed, technology development and the emergence of the global economy has shifted people’s lifestyle, changed life priorities, burdened large middle-class populations under loans & monthly EMIs, and most importantly it has restricted the time that people get to spend with their family.

Unfortunately, the conflict between the perception about marriage that most has received from our childhood and the harsh reality of modern urban Indian society has resulted in a common situation – where people get married without thinking of the chances of separation. And they miss taking most of the vital steps required to strengthen their relationship in the current social situation.

That is why it is sometimes a wise thing to think less of the wedding vows and take time to consider what they could do when the things may hit a rocky patch in the future. This is one of the major reasons why couples should think about marriage counseling on a serious note.

In this article Delhi’s top marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares insight on about the reason marriage counseling is more important than the wedding vows.

Premarital Counselling Helps You To Envisage the Relationship’s Future

Marriage counseling can actually start before the wedding. This counseling could include discussing the couple’s individual family past and the family they plan to develop together, including the possibility of kids, how you will deal with conflict.

You can also visit a marriage or family counselor for premarital counseling, which will help you to start your marriage with a clutter-free mind.

It could be a way to clear up any cynicism or fear of marriage and give you a secure place to talk about things like if, when and how many offsprings you want, how you can deal with monetary issues or other stressors in your relationship and to ensure you have similar values and goals for your relationship, your family and your life together.

Taking the time to have premarital counseling also sets you up to be more open to engaging in marriage counseling later on if you need it.

It Is Not Only About Fixing Things But Developing Stronger Roots.

The most common reasons couples opt for marriage counseling include lack of communication in their relationship, lack of emotional support or engagement and worries that they are probably headed toward divorce.

Other factors that often send couples to therapy include fighting or specific relationship matters like infidelity.

Some people simply want to make their marriages stronger and last longer and look to seek professional help.

While Proceeding For A Counseling, Be Certain About What You Want From It

Most couples engage in marriage counseling once issues have been broiling for months, or even years, and the more you wait to seek help the complex it is to work through the issues. Usually, on an average, a couple waits 6 years more than they should begin counseling.

Know what you need from counseling from the start. Are you and your partner all in, entirely committed to save the marriage, no matter how much effort it takes? Or is one or both of you are certain you want to call it off? Knowing the answers will help define what success feels like, but either way, you must maintain an open mind about the process.