Marriage Counsellor and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

As Suggested by Couples Therapist Therapist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

When a train passes through a tunnel and it gets dark, you don’t throw away the ticket and jump off. You sit still and trust the engineman.  Life is not always about roses and rainbows or chocolates and candies. There are good times and bad times. Good relationships and bad relationships. You just need to stay strong and have faith; things will work out slowly.

Has your partner left you confused lately? Do you feel unloved or unwanted? Have you stopped listening to each other? Do you keep arguing over petty issues? Stop burying your head in the sand and pretending that everything is alright.

It is an alarming time that you address these issues. Let us find out the ways to deal with a rough patch in your relationship as suggested by Delhi’s top marriage counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo.

Walking down memory lane: Remembering the good old days can bring back that spark in your relationship. Flipping through the pages of an old album or scrolling through your social media photos can add positivity to your relationship.

Break the silence: Silence is not always golden. Communicate with each other. Discuss your problems. Communication is effective only when both the speaker and listener cooperate with each other. Both partners need to listen, understand and respect each other’s point of view. Only then will this problem be solved.

Learn to forgive: Let bygones be bygones! Research suggests that the act of forgiveness can improve your mental and physical well-being. Isn’t that good news? While it is not easy to let go of past grudges and bitterness, forgiveness can act as a healing balm for your wounded relationship. We must always remember that;

‘Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.’

Spend more quality time together: Make a ‘couple’s bucket list. Do things that may or may not excite you but make sure you do it together. Plan secret dates for each other. Go for long walks. The more time you spend together, the closer you will get to each other and this will help you understand each other better.

It takes two people to make or break a relationship: It takes two to make a relationship work. No matter how much you try to be good, your partner will have to put in equal effort to make the relationship work. Love is not solely about finding a good partner. It is also about you, being a good partner.

Sometimes conflict also gives you the opportunity to understand, appreciate and embrace differences. So, whatever happens, don’t give up. Make sure that you give your heart to the same person every time.

Several people begin being in a relationship simply after they fall in love. The decision to make someone an important part of one’s life revolves around various factors including trust, compatibility, values, and a few more. Unfortunately, some people might ignore the most important reason, that is love, for being in a relationship.

For those people being with someone becomes a necessity simply because they are alone. In most cases, people who push themselves to be in love to avoid being feeling lonely can soon turn insecure when they see their other half is giving attention to another person. It is not surprising to see such people turn into retentive and obsessive lovers later.

It is essential to realize what you hope from a partner or why you want to be in a relationship because being with someone for self-reasons can never make a relationship to blossom.

Here, psychologist, marriage counselor and relationship expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo talks about the signs that say you are afraid of being alone thus are in a relationship.

You Have No Idea About Anything Which Is Common Between You And Your Partner

It is quite normal for friends and family to compliment a couple saying they have plenty in common, be it their choice of food or any other habit. But, when somebody asks you what is common between you and your partner, you have no clue or you simply struggle. This is simply an indication of how mismatched you might be. This is certainly not a good sign.

When Your Partner Is With Someone Else You Feel Insecure

You may hate to admit it publicly but whenever you see your partner with somebody else you suffer from unexplainable thoughts of jealousy. The fear of being dumped fills your heart and mind and you become quite insecure. This is a strong indication that you suffer from the fear of negligence and most probably scared of getting lonely too.

Feel Alone When Your Partner Is Away

This is a major tell-tale sign of being in a relationship simply because you are afraid of being alone. Every time your partner is away from you, you fight this tendency to be constantly in touch with your partner. You feel lonely or ignored when your partner does not return your text and calls or makes plans with friends without asking you. Remember, such conduct will only push your relationship to the downhill.

Will Do Anything That Satisfies Your Partner

Are you changing into a person your partner might want? In your desperate efforts to satisfy your partner, do you frequently lie to them about yourself or hide specific traits of your personality because your partner would not approve of it? If you see yourself constantly doing the things just mentioned, you certainly need to rethink your approach towards the relationship you share.