Tag Archive : best psychologist in India

The Mystery of Loving an Abuser

When we are in a relationship with a person, we have an additional bond with that person with all humanity. Imagine the bond to be a very strong silver code that ties, two people together. Because we are “suckers for punishment”. It literally sucks us back to the person until we either realize that we no longer need them and move on.

Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo says identify an abusive partner else it becomes way too late. An abusive partner is insidious and slowly consumes away your confidence and self-esteem. Where the impacts are for the long term may be life long and might take even longer to recover. One should never willingly enter into an abusive relationship, even when someone close to you warns, what they can see but you cannot.

This blog by India’s leading psychologist and counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo discusses abuse and why some people still love a person who has abused them.

Abuse is Common

More than 3 Million incidents of partner’s violence are reported each year, including both a man and a woman. 1/3rd of women and 1/4th of men have experienced some sort of interpersonal violence and for one-fourth of women and one-seventh of men, it’s severe.

A woman gets physically beaten or assaulted every 9 seconds.

20 persons are abused by their intimate partner each minute, adding about 10 million every year.

Some Facts About Abusers

Both men and women can be victims. If someone you love says they’ve been the victim of domestic or emotional violence, you should believe and support them, since no gender is safe and no amount of physical strength or emotional fortitude protect against abuse.

·         Usually, abuse takes place behind closed doors.

·         Abusers blame the victim.

·         Violence is proceeded by verbal abuse.

·         Abusers deny their actions.

·         The abuser desires to be correct and in control.

·         The abuser is possessive and could try to isolate their partner from friends or family.

·         The abuser is hypersensitive and could react with rage.

·         Two-thirds of violence perpetrators have been drinking alcohol, using drugs.

You may not realize that abusers feel powerless. They never act insecure to hide the truth. One common thing is that their motive is to have power over their victim. To them, communication is a win-lose game.

Reasons Why One Still Loves an Abuser

There are some reasons why one still loves an abuser. One of the points one raises is that falling in love is natural. So, if somehow things go awful. It does not mean that they should leave the abuser. Thoughts like forgiveness and kindness rule the course. Let us take some of the reasons why one still loves an abuser?

Being Refused to Survive

If one was not treated with respect in his/her family and has low self-esteem, he/she will tend to deny the abuse. Often thoughts cross probably I deserve the same. And blaming oneself is often easy stating probably it’s your own fault. And the life without that person has no meaning.

Projection, Glorification and Recurrence Compulsion

Sometimes thoughts of unpleasant childhood run amok. Maybe if the abuser reminds you of one of your parents. Then thinking liking probably now you can mend the things keeps on running in your mind. You end up believing that this could be the time of redeeming your overall past and secure a future.

The Cycle

Just like a fact that a honeymoon cannot go on forever. Similarly, you get yourself in a trap believing the one or two incidents of being abused will not be repeated. This gives you the belief that you can stay together.

Empathy

Many people feel that having empathy with an abuser will help things to go better. However, in doing so one often ignores empathy for himself/herself. As a result, you start to deny the fact that you are living with pain.

These are often some of the reasons that force one to stay with an abuser. Even if there is a repeated offense.

What to Do

If one is being mentally and emotionally abused, believe your gut instincts. Know that it is not correct and you do not need to live this way. Otherwise, your options come down to the specifics of your circumstances.

·         Accept that the abuse isn’t your responsibility.

·         Disengage and set personal boundaries.

·         Exit the relationship or circumstances.

·         Give yourself time to heal.

·         If you feel you are in violent, controlling, a co-dependent or abusive relationship or want to get recovery from such a relationship contact.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-10 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high. 

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service! 

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

Reasons Why the Most Vital Relationship is the One you Have with Yourself

You will also have various kinds of relationships with several people throughout your lives. Each of them can bring something unique, whether it is good or bad. Relationships with partner, family, friends, and colleagues will add to your life’s rich tapestry of experiences.

However, when you are living alone there is one key relationship that matters more than any other in your life. This is the relationship that you have with yourself.

This blog by India’s top Relationship Expert and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo revolves around the reasons why the most vital relationship in the one you have with yourself.

It is a Lifelong Relationship

The relationship you have with yourself is the sole one that you can be completely sure will last as long as you do, so it is essential to get it right. Though there are possibly to be some bumps along the road, this is a journey that you will always be undertaking with yourself. Learn to enjoy your own company and be gentle to yourself.

Knowing Yourself is Important

Understanding your own strengths and weaknesses can assist you to make the correct decisions in life. It is important to take that time to get to know yourself so that you understand your real dreams, worries, and abilities. This might mean giving more time for daily reflection which could assist you to feel more driven and confident and equally feel more certain about who you are.

Being Selfish can be Beneficial

You all need to prioritize yourself at least some of the time. Valuing the relationship, you have with yourself will let you do what is right for you rather than always placing other people first. You must place as much importance on the relationship you have with yourself as you do on those with your closest friends. You should therefore be ready to invest just as much time and effort into it, even if it means taking time out for yourself every now and then.

Its What you Do that Matters

The worthiest things in life are not the things that you own, but the things you spend your time doing. Investing in yourself by learning and developing new skills, practicing your favorite hobby, making something, or simply putting in some effort into a big project is what will make you most fulfilled. The happiest moments are usually in the middle of a big challenge or when you have achieved something that counts.

Being Independent is Important

Being able to depend upon yourself is important, specifically when you are living alone. You need to develop the skills that will enable you to be self-sufficient, not only in practical matters but in emotional ones as well. Learning to trust yourself more, is one of the most critical results of forming a strong relationship with yourself. It can help you to feel stronger, braver, and more capable.

It is Good for Your Mental and Physical Health

Mental health is also as important as your physical wellbeing. When you are living alone and having a good attitude and understanding towards yourself can be very advantageous for your mental health and emotional wellbeing. You will be better at handling the negative emotions and more aware of any signs of mental health issues. Having better self-awareness and knowledge to understand what in life makes you happy, sad, content, satisfied, and subsequently making changes in your life and allotting priorities accordingly will bring positive outcomes to how you feel every day.

Being familiar with your own body is essential for your health. You need to develop a good relationship with your body in an attempt to keep them healthy and to be able to recognize any signs of trouble. Forming a better relationship with yourself can help you to eat better, avail more sleep, and remain fit and healthy.

Other’s Opinion is Just that

Even though listening to other people is and could be important, your own opinions are what actually matters most. You must value your own judgment and not allow yourself to be swayed too much by other people. Simply because someone thinks that your routine or work is uninteresting or your style is out of date, it does not mean that you have to agree. They are welcome for their opinions, but be sure about sticking to your own. Your self-esteem is mostly linked to what other people think of you, or at least what you perceive others think of you.  Thus, it is important to feel comfortable in your own skin, having your own judgments, and with your own set of likes and dislikes helping you to shape who you are.

You are the Truly One Who Actually Understand Yourself

Every individual is a bit complex, unique, and changeable, which means that it can be difficult for even the closest to you to understand completely, who you are. The person who is best positioned to understand you is yourself and you are the sole one who can do this. You can be your own most sympathetic ally because you are the one who has the ability to understand your feelings and intentions best.

It Will Eventually Impact Your Relationship with Others

When you live alone, having a good relationship with yourself could make a huge difference in the manner you interact with other people. Understanding your own emotions will help you to empathize with others. Being aware of your own strengths and weaknesses can make it easier to forgive other people for theirs. Nobody is an island and people living alone mostly have strong relationships with the people around them. The way you feel about yourself can decide how kindly you treat other people, whether you are close to that person or not.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-10 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high. 

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service! 

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

Are You Afraid of the Darkness? Know the Symptoms and Treatment of Nyctophobia

While being afraid of the dark might be a part of normal development in some young children, this is not the case for older children and adults. Nyctophobia is basically an age-inappropriate fear of darkness that can force someone to limit their activities, avoid specific circumstances, and experience anxiety in the anticipation of there being lying something dangerous and no light.

Psychologist Shivani says it is when the concern crosses over from being an inborn protective technic to being a clinical issue that it is designated as a phobia.

This blog specifically revolves around Nyctophobia, and India’s top Psychologist and Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo talks about the causes and treatment for the same.

Causes

Nyctophobia, also known as scotophobia, lygophobia, and achluophobia. This may be evolutionary in nature as several predators hunt at night. The fear might not be linked to darkness itself but unknown dangers are hidden in the darkness (this is why horror and suspense movies generally use darkness as a way to scare audiences). A general lack of security and confidence also plays into this as well, particularly if you tend to be afraid of the dark mostly while alone.

Psychoanalytic believes that fear of the dark could be related to the separation anxiety from a primary attachment figure, a phenomenon that has been detailed further.

Symptoms and Diagnosis

Symptoms of nyctophobia differs from individual to individual and according to the severity of a specific case. In general, symptoms of nyctophobia includes:

·         Getting nervous in any darkened surroundings.

·         Being reluctant to go out at night.

·         Experiencing physiological symptoms like increased heart rate, sweating, visible shaking, and also feeling ill (nausea, headaches, and diarrhea) when forced to spend some time in the dark.

·         Need to put on the light at night while sleeping.

Symptoms of during more severe cases of nyctophobia include:

·         Trying to run away from dark areas or rooms.

·         Getting angry or defensive if anyone tries to force or tease you to spend time in the dark.

·         Compulsively staying back indoors at night.

Nyctophobia has certain diagnostic criteria that are common to every phobia, which separates them from simple fears.

Treatment

The aim of therapy is to challenge the fearful beliefs about the dark by replacing the negative self-talk with more positive ones. The rate of successful treatment for certain phobias such as nyctophobia is approximately 90% and mostly accomplished with the help of techniques drawn from the cognitive-behavioral school therapy.

The treatment plan your therapist would recommend for you or your child could include:

·         Exposure to the dark in bits, incremental, non-threatening doses in a method called desensitization.

·         1-on-1 talk therapy, family therapy, or even group therapy.

·         Learning relaxation techniques, like deep breathing, meditation, or yoga.

·         Medications such as anti-anxiety and antidepressant.

If you are struggling due to any sort of phobia or other psychological issues. Do not hide them. Rather, you do not need to panic, you should seek some help from a qualified psychologist.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-10 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high. 

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service! 

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

Are You Afraid of Flying? Essential Tips that Will Help You Overcome Aerophobia

You are planning to travel, so you booked a flight ticket. You fulfilled all the procedures, and you have double-checked your belongings. Everything looks good except for a thing. It’s that you cannot stand the thought of getting inside a plane.

Your palms begin sweating, your heart palpitating, your breathing goes up, and your mind starts racing with all kinds of dangerous thoughts. For some people, flying can be downright terrifying.

Psychologist Shivani says fear of flying, also called as Aerophobia, impacts nearly 2.5 to 6.5% of the population. When you board a plane, you will see out it’s not only you who is anxious. There are other passengers too that are tightly holding their seats with their eyes wide open.

The good thing is that several tested techniques can help calm your restless mind.

Technology is improving, and flying has become more secure with every passing day. Thus, there’s not much to worry about in the first instance. It’s only a matter of opting for the right approaches and thinking that will make your flying experience a whole lot comfortable.

This blog by India’s top Psychologist and Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo focusses on the tips that will help you overcome aerophobia.

Here are some of them.

Be Aware of Your Fears

Your anxiety can become quite creative while you’re flying. Your mind keeps providing you with thoughts about all the things that may go wrong. An overactive mind can magnify an issue and present it to be larger than it is.

So, it is very essential to be aware of your thoughts so you can understand and manage them when things begin getting out of hand. And this is when mindfulness comes in.

The gist of mindfulness is being aware of your fearful and irrational thoughts, so they do not overcome you. When you are aware of where your mind is going, you have the ability to stop those thoughts before they overpower you.

You can also, attempt to get a mindfulness app to assist you with guided meditations while you wait at the airport or even when you are heading to the airport. It helps lower stress and gets a better understanding of things.

Reach Airport Early

The last thing that you have to worry about is reaching the airport late or missing your flight. If you are late, you will panic and may have additional problems with security. The added stress will make it more complicated to manage your fear of flying, and things could go in a downward spiral.

Reaching the airport earlier will ensure you do not have to panic about anything. While you are at the airport, take a small walk or just chill out for a while. It will reduce anxiety and will make you relaxed.

Prepare Properly at Home

You don’t have to reach the airport and find out that you forgot something or that you have to buy something that you can’t get to the airport.

Also, it is recommended not to drink any alcohol or caffeinated beverages prior to you board a plane. Having them can make you even more stressed. Energy drinks can also quantify adrenaline levels, so they’re also not a wise idea. Also, have light meals before leaving for the airport.

Have everything collected and packed at your home and check twice, so you don’t have to worry regarding anything additional when you reach the airport.

Have Faith in Your Pilots and Technology

You may not know but traveling by airplane is by far the safest mode of travel worldwide. Yes, you read it right. Your chances of meeting an accident while flying are about 1 in 11 Million.

The pilots who are flying the plane are experienced professionals and have a complete education about everything they need to know. Aviation schools are demanding, and the pilots have to prove their mettle through several stress training before they get to be in an actual aircraft with people.

Airplanes are built to survive turbulence even in the most extreme cases. Airplane engines are made with 99.999% reliability, even in the highly unlikely possibility of engine failure, your plane can easily land without any concern.

Trust the cabin crew and engineering. They can manage even the most severe cases, so you are in safe hands.

Get Yourself Distracted

An empty mind will keep fueling your anxiety. It’s always good to distract yourself when you are inside the plane. If your mind is diverted, it will not have time to overthink any unwarranted fears.

So, carry a book with you or download some music on your phone so you can listen to it mid-flight. Crack a conversation with the passenger sitting nearby or try something that keeps your mind off from the fearful thoughts.

Imagine about the Place, You are Traveling To

Just envision all the delicious foods you’ll have or the places you will visit or the people you will meet once you get to your planned destination. Getting excited is another good way to entertain and distract your mind.

When you think about all the good things that are about to come, you will not only feel happier but also less stressed. Also, look at the people sitting beside you. They look confident and enjoying their flight, so why shouldn’t you?

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-10 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high. 

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service! 

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

Signs You are in a Relationship with an Empathetic Person

You might have seen that a person all of a sudden asks you a particular thing about which only you know, yet that person ends up asking regarding that thing. At that point, you may be wondering how come he/she came to know about it. Well, this is one of the qualities of an empath person. It is certain that many of you have heard people refer to their partners to others as empaths, specifically with the surge in these sorts of spiritual practices and beliefs becoming more prominent. For those of you who do not know, an empath is someone who can feel and experience the emotions of people and other beings around them as if they were the Empath’s own.

Empathic persons are also known for being sensitive towards the paranormal, physical pain, and sensations of others, and also who are highly sensitive to their own emotions and physical sensations, amongst several things. Many individuals claims to be an empath, but the number of people who are genuine empaths is quite smaller in number.

In this blog, India’s leading psychologist and marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo tells about the signs, you are in a relationship with an empathetic person.

He/She Experiences Anxiety, Depression, Mood Swings or Other Psychological Phenomena

Empath individual is known for his/her defining feature, being able to feel and experience the emotions of others. Empaths can, in simple terms, put themselves in other people’s shoes with great intensity. Empaths, such as shamans, are well known to absorb illnesses and negativity from people around them. Sadly, shamans are better able to deflect unwarranted energies than most empaths.

They Often Get Sick and Experience Chronic Illnesses

Empaths are quite capable of deflecting negative energies rather than soaking them, but many empaths are not aware of their gift or simply do not know how to manage it properly. Watch out if your partner is having the same issue.

They are Known for Having Intense and Turbulent Emotions

This is actually not a bad thing. In fact, it can be a quite wonderful thing at times. Your partner experience love and happiness in such large quantities that it brings about intense euphoria and peace. Intimacy can also be extremely fulfilling and intense, specifically if your partner loves you when you are with him.

But they also experience sadness, anger, and guilt at extremes too. Sadness could feel soul-crushing, guilt all-consuming, anger becomes explosive. The worst part is that sometimes these emotions aren’t even their own.

They Feel Connected to Nature and Animals

Not be an adage, but this is a huge sign. Your partner does not need to be a full-blown nature fanatic to feel the connection. They can feel the life given off by everything, like the grass, flowers, trees, animals who inhabit the whole earth with us. They can feel the vibrations of the seasonal change too besides they appreciate it all.

Children and Animals Gravitate Towards Them

Do animals or children seem to stare at your partner for no apparent reason? They may be seeing something most of you cannot—the aura. An aura is the energy field. It reflects the true personality and emotions with colors. Animals and children are supposedly more sensitive to such elements, for that reason they may be seeing the biggest giveaway to the person’s true intentions (the aura, in case the wasn’t obvious). We already have seen that children can tell if a person is good or bad, but how do they do it? Well, this is up for you to decide. The bottom line is they know certain things about the person is special, so they gravitate towards them.

They Can Read Others Like a Book

They have a naturally heightened intuition that serves them well in many ways, especially when it comes to reading people. They are an expert at reading people’s intentions and judging their character. It is hard to go by their intuition at times, especially when first meeting someone or when asking for someone’s opinion on their gut feelings, but they have this intuition for a reason. It might not be right every time, but it is the right majority of the time.

He/She is a Very Thoughtful

They care deeply about what they say and do because they understand the consequences their actions could have on those around you, even indirectly. They may even overanalyze everything and worry excessively about what kind of mark he/she is leaving on the world. It’s vital for them to stay self-aware and mindful of their actions to avoid hurting themselves or others, but it’s also important for them to stay genuine and not let their fear of what others think of them controlling his/her life.

All of the above-mentioned signs are good enough to let you know that your partner is an empath or not.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-10 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help.  Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high. 

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option.  Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service! 

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

REASONS PEOPLE BECOME MANIPULATIVE

Psychology says manipulation is directly influencing someone’s beliefs, desires, or emotions, such that a person falls short of ideals for belief, desire, or emotion in ways typically not in his/her self-interest or likely not as per the situation in the current context.”

Manipulation is an art or perhaps even a pseudo-science, may be a dark science to an extent. History is replete with examples of manipulation.

Is it good or bad?

Thanks to the digital connectivity sharing information is a cakewalk in today’s fast-paced life. But this same connectivity also helps in manipulating the public perception of reality through ‘fake news’. But manipulation can be positive or negative depending upon whether it takes the form of persuasion or coercion.

Persuasion is about getting people to do things they want to do whereas Coercion is about getting people to do things they don’t want to do. Inspiring or encouraging a person to do something that can be beneficial for him if he is afraid of doing is called good manipulation.

While using somebody for your own self motives with primary means to hurt that individual whom one is using is bad manipulation.

Positive manipulation motivates employees to achieve their goals thereby improving organizational performance.

Using negative manipulation, manipulator twist words, play on emotions and manage a situation in a sneaky fashion to get what he wants. This kills the confidence of the person being manipulated.

What goes on in the mind of a manipulator? Psychological reasons behind the manipulation.

Delhi’s Top Psychologist and Marriage Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo tells us the reasons behind the manipulation. They are as follows:

Narcissistic Mentality: Manipulators usually suffer from a narcissistic personality disorder which is a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance and the deep need for admiration. They consider that they are better than others. They are not concerned about how others feel. Individuals with narcissistic personality (NPD) may find it difficult to form close relationships. So, they may resort to manipulation to maintain a good relationship with their partners.

It’s In Their Family: Sometimes manipulators have a difficult childhood wherein they are deprived of love and affection, status and privilege from their family members. Sometimes they struggle for economic and social survival. This is what turns them into manipulators.

It’s In Their Genes: Manipulative behavior can be hereditary too.

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD): BPD might help manipulators to satisfy their emotional needs or for obtaining validation. This happens because such manipulators feel insecure or abandoned.

Give Me Power: Manipulators love the feeling of being powerful. They love to control people and situations. They want to be the king and be in charge of everything.

Lack Of Consciousness: This is another reason for being manipulative. They believe that the only way to achieve their goal in this ‘unsafe world’ is by manipulation.)

Last but not least, whatever the psychology behind manipulation is, manipulators can change for the better. They just need the right guidance for that to overcome that negative trait which becomes a part of their life.

DON’T STRESS ABOUT STRESS!

Here are a few stress busters for children and teenagers!

A teenage child suddenly stops attending school, despite being a good student. When asked, she would simply slam the door and lock oneself in for hours. After a few days, the child finally told his parents about being bullied at school. The child was under severe mental stress so much so that the kid even tried committing suicide.

Every individual has some trouble, but when you worry it becomes double! Hence, don’t worry, be happy!

Currently, India ranks the highest in the world in terms of the suicide rate for the youth between the age groups of 15 and 29. About 9 out of 10 Indians suffer from stress.

What is stress?

In today’s fast-paced world, where one has no time to stand and stare, the word ‘stress’ needs no formal introduction. However, in simple words, stress is your body’s way of responding to any kind of demand or threat. For instance, when you sense danger, be it real or imaginary—the body’s defense system kicks into high gear in a rapid, automatic process called the “fight-or-flight” reaction or the “stress response.”  

What causes stress?

Stress occurs from the tension between an individual’s reaction to hard times or challenges and his or her ability to handle and resolve the stressful situation. These situations and pressures that cause stress are called Stressors. Stressors can be either physiological (or physical) stressors or psychological stressors.

Physiological (or physical) stressors put a strain on our body i.e. very cold/hot temperatures, injury, chronic illness, or pain.

Psychological Stressors are events, situations, individuals, comments, or anything you interpret as negative or threatening. For e.g. unable to secure good grades at exams or being bullied at school or relationship crisis.

Good stress and bad stress

Psychology says the pressure of exhilarating, creative successful act is beneficial while that of failure, humiliation, and infection is detrimental.

Good stress motivates and keeps you on your toes during an important presentation at school or college, increases your concentration level and even drives you to study for an exam when you’d rather be watching TV. Athletes even break the world records under stress.

Bad stress is when stress stops being good and helpful and starts affecting your physical, psychological and social health and reduces your productivity and creativity.

How To Distress? / A Few Effective Stress-Busters/Ways of Beating The Stress

The best way to relieve stress is to learn the skill of managing it. Here Delhi’s Top Psychologist and Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo talks about the various ways/tips and tricks of beating/ handling stress in children and teenagers.

Eat Right:

You are what you eat. Junk food not only hampers a child’s physical growth but also affects their brain development. So, say NO to junk food and YES to healthy food like fresh fruits and vegetables, whole grains, a variety of protein foods, and low-fat dairy products. Eat a balanced meal for a healthy body and a healthy mind.  

Think Positive:

Learn to be optimistic! Train your brain for more positive self-talk. Think ‘I CAN’ rather than ‘I CANNOT’.

Listen To Music:

Music can be a great healer for relieving stress. It acts as a medicine for your stressed mind.

Exercise Daily:

Exercise pumps up your brain’s feel-good neurotransmitters, called endorphins and is a great stress buster.

Empathize/ Sharing And Caring:

Parents must try to put themselves in their kid’s shoes and understand their point of view. This is called cognitive empathy. After all, sharing is caring! Listen to your child and help him or her to deal with the daily stress and strain of life.

Rest Is Must:

As per the National Sleep Foundation, teens must get 8-10 hours of sleep daily. This helps to regulate hormones, consolidate memory, solidify learning, and restore energy.

Reduce Screen Time:

Teenagers who spend seven hours or more a day on screens (excluding schoolwork) are more prone to stress and anxiety, are less emotionally stable compared to those who spend just one hour a day on screens (excluding schoolwork).

Meditation:

Meditation helps teens and children to deal with peer pressure, to be more focussed, be more confident and thus acts as a great stress buster.

THINGS A REAL MAN DOES WHEN HE IS INTO A RELATIONSHIP

A few women feel a real man do not exist, that he is impossible to get. Some women do not want somebody like him. On the other hand, many men think they are the best definition of a real man.

While some men feel there is no such thing. One thing is sure, though, those men who think they are the actual definition of a real man and those who believe they are not very often wrong.

If you want to know that you are a real man or are in a relationship with a real man, look out the actions. A real man behaves very differently from the selfish boy types you get to everywhere that you cannot fail to notice the difference.

He is a complete gentleman, good for more than just the first initial months. Essentially, a real man does things so nicely when he is into a relationship that one just has to love him and his style.

Delhi’s Top Marriage Counsellor and Relationship Expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo in this article talks about the things a real man does when he is into a relationship.

He Loves And Respects His Woman For What She Is

He may not love her all the time, but he loves her. Not only her body, her possessions, and her status, but entre of her. He knows that as beautiful as her body is at present, physical beauty fades. Thus, he focuses his love and attention on her true beauty, which is found inside her sensibilities and personality. He treats her like a lady, with great dignity and respect. He never minds cooking her favorite food, taking her out to dinner and paying the bills. He also expects love and respect from her.

Commits To The Relationship Completely

He never cheats. He is loyal to his partner and understands that relationships take hard work to keep it strong and healthy. His affection for his woman is a full-time commitment. He nourishes and boosts the relationship through ongoing, honest interaction and teamwork. When you are with a real man, you know you can trust the man. He will stay faithful does not matter what and expects you to do the same.

Protects His Woman Physically And Emotionally

It is not that a woman cannot protect and defend herself, but he is there for her anyways. He protects her in several ways, including providing financial security and comforting her and making her feel that things will be okay. He is ready to throw a good punch if required to defend her from physical aggressors. However, he thinks before he acts. He never makes a move until he is sure about all details and specifics are in order. His moves are analytic, deliberate and certain. Abuse of any kind is not an issue when you are with him. He is considerate and treats everybody kindly.

He Fulfils His Partner Mentally And Sexually

He knows that most of the time in any relationship is spent doing non-physical, non-sexual things. Apart from whispering to her how beautiful she is or how he is going to make passionate love to her when he gets back home during the evening, he also engages his partner in meaningful discussions about life plan with her, and cracks joke to ease up and liven moments together. He shows awareness, intelligence, and sensitivity that makes his acts not only timely but also genuinely charming.

He Takes Responsibility For Each Actions And Decisions

He does not put blame on his partner or try to defend his mistakes. He acknowledges when he has committed a mistake apologizes for it, learns from it and acts to make it right. Apologizing is not an issue with him. He knows it does not make him any less of himself to say it. In fact, apologizing makes him more of a man because it shows he has the confidence, courage, and integrity to admit his faults and looks to correct them.

He Always Speaks His Mind

He is not afraid or worried to say what is on his mind. He will say no without any fear whenever he does not agree with something. He will debate with you on topics he is not comfortable with without losing his temper. He will be honest and talk to you like an equal, then allow you to have your own conclusions or take whatever action you may want. This does not mean he is indifferent or treats his partner badly. He simply does not agree with her on everything. He understands a Yes-man is no man at all.

He Stands Up For His Relationship

At times friends, family and even strangers ask inappropriate things or make improper remarks about your relationship, like saying you are not a good couple. In those cases, a real man stands up for himself and his partner and defends the legitimacy and integrity of the relationship. Even when they are his peers, he speaks up and stands his ground to protect his relationship. This says he can express himself in the presence of others, protect his woman and act as an authoritative man.

Are You Anxious About Anxiety? Here Are a Few Effective Psychological Tricks For Managing Anxiety

Does your palm get sweaty or your heart starts beating like a big brass band every time you leave your home for your workplace? Do you keep worrying about everyday social situations or how people will judge or scrutinize you?

This constant feeling of tension or worry that interferes with your daily life even when there is no real threat is what we call ANXIETY. People with anxiety disorder often feel that sickening sense of fear almost every day. It just does not let you live in peace. However, there is a fine line of difference between ‘fear’ and ‘anxiety’.

If fear is fearful of something in particular or definite like maybe a fear of insects, then anxiety is being anxious about nothing in particular. Human psychology defines anxiety as ‘the state of being troubled and uneasy. It includes choke, throttle, trouble, and upset and encompasses behavioral, affective and cognitive responses to the perception of danger. Anxiety isn’t always bad.

The good news is that in small doses, it motivates us to deal with the challenges of life. It also helps us to identify and respond to danger in ‘flight or fight’ mode. The bad news is that persistent anxiety may lead to several anxiety disorders like Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Panic Disorder, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), Social Phobia (or Social Anxiety Disorder).

In other words, today you practically live in ‘an age of anxiety’. About 275 million people suffer from anxiety disorders today. Out of which approximately 170 million are female and about 105 million are male sufferers.

In this era of technological revolution as we constantly toggle between screens and compulsively check social media anxiety is inevitable. The hustle and bustle of today’s hectic life presents situations that cause extreme anxiety. Though the particular causes of anxiety are unknown. Yet, some of the causes could be:

·         Social Pressure

·         Marital distress

·         Work-Related Stress

·         Financial Problems

·         Usage Of Drugs

·         Medical Illness (like heart attack, heat stroke, hypoglycemia)

·         Genetic

To get rid of your anxiety, what should you do? Take a deep breath or try meditation or simply talk to someone. There are various ways of coping with anxiety.

Let us find out in this article a few effective psychological ways of managing anxiety from Delhi’s Top Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo, founder of Saarthi Counselling Services. She shares four such tricks/strategies for dealing with anxiety. They are as follow:

Exercise Daily

It reduces anxiety by lowering the level of the body’s stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. It also boosts the production of endorphins, chemicals in the brain which are the body’s natural painkillers and mood elevators. It also helps you to sleep better thereby relieving your anxiety.

Take Supplements

Supplements like lemon balm, ashwagandha (an herb) or green tea is very helpful in treating anxiety. Since some supplements can interact with medications or might have side-effects, hence it is advisable to consult the doctor beforehand.

Reduce Your Caffeine Intake

Caffeine present in beverages like tea, coffee, energy drinks or even chocolate stimulates your “fight or flight” response that can make your anxiety worse.

Spend Time With Your Loved Ones

Spending some quality time with friends and family acts as a natural stress reliever. It kills your anxiety. What can be more comforting than a warm embrace from your mother or maybe hanging out with your BFF? Several studies reveal that hugging releases oxytocin in the brain that lowers blood pressure while being with your best friend reduces the level of cortisol stress hormone. That makes you less anxious!

HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP HABITS, THAT MAJORITY OF PEOPLE ACTUALLY THINK ARE TOXIC

Being in a toxic relationship is not never an easy task. Most of you want to get out of toxic work life, friendships and also relationships. However, when it comes to relationships, one needs to understand if the habits are really toxic.

Plenty of times you end up objectifying common habits and tendencies as toxic when in actuality they are not. After all, no relationship is perfect and at times all it needs is some time and reflection. While most of you want things to be scenic and romantic all the time, which in reality is not practical to attain.

Top Marriage Counselor, Relationship Expert and Founder of Saarthi Counselling Services Shivani Misri Sadhoo talks about the healthy relationship habits, that the majority of people actually think they are toxic.

Hurting Feelings Of Each Other

Sometimes, you and your partner can hurt the feelings of each other. There are times when you have to tell your partner the fact, they do not want to hear. Rather than having a fake and pretentious relationship, it is vital, to be honest. If your partner provides you his/her honest opinion, it is fine to be hurt, but it is normal for the partner to maintain transparency.

Not Accepting The Flaws

The reality of every relationship is that nobody is perfect. Every individual has flaws and imperfections, the faster you accept, the better it is. If your partner accepts you with every flaw of yours, even you should too. Overlooking a few shortcomings can bring you two closer than ever.

Avoiding Conflicts

A majority of people want to avoid arguments, which is normal and fine. You need to understand that everything cannot be resolved by talking. Some conflicts simply happen and cannot be resolved. It is fine to ignore a few conflicts, instead of arguing and hurting each other anymore. As there is a saying, some battles are not worth fighting. All you require to understand is it worth fighting or not?

Taking Some Place

In this busy life, you cannot just focus on your partner. Everyone needs some time off even from a relationship. You cannot always be the escape zone for your better half. Sometimes, spending time apart is good, which will only make your relationship stronger in the future. If you or your partner wants to spend some time away, then it is fine. From old hobbies on a trip with your friends, spending some time away from your partner can help to bring back the spark.

Feeling Attracted To Someone Else

As much as you would like to believe that you can have attraction only for your significant one, human chemistry says otherwise. It is okay to find other people attractive, as it is biologically unavoidable. Once you get past the honeymoon phase, it is fine to feel attracted to each other. Liking someone is unavoidable and to act on it is your choice and conscience always.