Marriage Counsellor and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

Nobody likes being rejected. When it comes to love, you put many of your hopes, emptiness, and traumas out into the open. Therefore, getting over romantic rejection is sometimes quite difficult. But it always depends.

The loss of great love can be devastating if you carry inside the unhealthy seed of feeling abandoned. It can also hurt when your age catches up to, or if you are on a time in your lives when you are really vulnerable. If there is cheating or abuse, that might also make getting over romantic rejection very hard.

In spite of all the happenings, there is always a way out. Getting up and moving ahead is never easy, but it’s not impossible.

In this article, Delhi’s top Relationship Expert and Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo reveals 5 ways to overcome romantic rejection.

Getting Over Romantic Rejection By Checking Your Wounds

The first thing you must do, even when it hurts, is to pull off your improvised bandage and check the magnitude of your wound. What did you actually lose?

It is essential that you answer that question with sheer honesty. Sometimes you aren’t losing the love of your life, as you may believe, just illusions and expectations.

It’s quite possible that the most painful thing is not the loss itself. Sometimes, your ego hurts more. Probably, it brought up your old doubts about yourself because your self-love is already hurt.

The loss only shows you that reality without anesthesia. For getting over romantic rejection, you must look at what you had invested in that relationship.

Express Yourself By Every Possible Way

Feelings that are not expressed mostly turn into pain. Particularly, when it comes to negative feelings. This is why you must use all possible ways to let them out.

There are several kinds of ways to do it, not just talking time and again about what happened. You can write, for instance. As much as needed.

You can even paint your pain or you can dance. Anything that allows you to free those feelings is valid.

Refocus

Because of the psychological impact of the loss, you are might be thinking gloomy thoughts. Without realizing it, you start to focus only on the most negative aspects of everything. You unwittingly select the most painful interpretations of the facts and you focus on all the negative things in the world.

But refrained getting carried away by it. What you must do is refocus your attention in a more constructive way. Never allow the pain to invade your whole being, because it won’t give you anything but bitterness.

Aim to bring positive thoughts into your mind. Engage your will in appreciating all the good that still exists. This will be a huge help for getting over romantic rejection.

Free Yourself From Unrealistic Thoughts

Our society insists that loss or failure is totally unwanted. But it has been completely proven that this is not true. First, because situations like this are inevitable. Every human being goes through failure. And secondly, since there is no bigger opportunity to grow than from difficult experiences.

Romantic rejection is not the end of the world. Despite what soap operas and songs depict. In fact, it’s completely the opposite. Every ending also marks a beginning. What happens should happen. And it is always positive if you want it to be positive.

Take Advantage Of This Chance To Make Changes In Your Life

If you think you cannot continue living like this, good. It is time for you to focus on changing. Do not think about the person you have lost, think about other aspects of your life.

There’s always something to throw away, there’s always something to begin. Focus on that.

Nothing is better for overcoming a romantic rejection than to introduce fresh things to your life. Learning something new is always a great choice.

It keeps your mind occupied and that raises your eyes up to focus on new areas. It’s also great to change up your social circles or work on developing new habits.

You should be aware that nothing you do will automatically take away the pain. Wounds to the heart always take time to heal. Do not hurry.

Tolerate suffering and think about how it helps you to go ahead. Feed hope and do not fall into the trap of isolation. Believe that everything will turn out well. 

Considering a fact when you have an arranged marriage honeymoon seems to be a big deal. In the case of love marriage, the couple knows each other very well and has already spent a lot of time in a relationship with each other before their marriage. But in the case of an arranged marriage, they don’t get much time to spend with each other and still have much more to explore about their partner.

For an arranged marriage couple honeymoon is considered to be most important as in this short span of time there is a lot of things to be accomplished beyond knowing each other and as afterward, they get caught up settling in the new life and roles, trying to adjust and overcoming the post-marriage drama, duties, and traditions. So, it is the honeymoon period in an arranged marriage which is the best way to get closer and bond well with each other.

In arranged marriages, the honeymoon is a kind of icebreaker for the couple. For a couple who have never been together for a long time, it could be the best way to explore inexperienced territories.

In this article, Delhi’s top marriage counselor and relationship expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo talk about things to do on your honeymoon, if you have an arranged marriage.

Time To Celebrate Intimacy

It is your chance to finally spend some quality time with each other post all the wedding ritual stress. It is these memories you can cherish for a lifetime. The honeymoon is supposed to connect you physically with your partner, but it’s major fact being that it is about connecting with each other mentally, emotionally and physically.

A Proper Destination

Honeymoon is not about spending time together at some place, it is important to choose a tranquil and an apt place to spend quality time together. Choosing a destination that offers the activities that may interest both of you to participate and bond well.

Putting Your Mobiles Aside

During your honeymoon, make it a point to put your mobile phones away. It is your quality time to be spent time together in discovering each other. It’s no urgency to keep everyone updated socially including your family members. You may call once a day but you just don’t get into giving updates about your day to your family. Treat this time as a digital detox and put all your gadgets away. Carrying a camera to click pictures sounds good.

Take It Easy And Just Relax

Honeymooner is expected to relax and rejuvenate. Often in arranged marriages, couples don’t get an opportunity to know each other so well and it is a perfect time to know each other. Don’t plan it in such a way that you keep on moving from one place to another or with days fully packed with activities. Avoid stress during your honeymoon.

Spend At Least A Day In The Bed

At times, doing nothing is the best thing ever. Have no plans and just spend the time in each other’s company all alone, share secrets and whisper sweet nothings might be just all that you need. Spend your day being lazy and cozying up with each other and having lunch or brunch in the bed might add flavor to your romance.

Experience Newer Things

Start exploring the place you choose for a honeymoon with your better half, try something new which you have never done before and made the trip as the most memorable one.

Enjoy The Closeness

It is your chance to take things further in your relationship. It’s not all about sex. Don’t focus too much on it or make it stressful for you both. The honeymoon is not all about sex, don’t go with those fantasized expectations. Just let it go and be with the flow.

Woo him or her on the honeymoon by doing these things

·         You had an arranged marriage and is a possibility that you have not have proposed each other even once. Make him or her happy by getting down on your knees and proposing and show your love.

·         Compliment each other. It’s a way to warm people’s heart and when you do compliment your partner it will make them feel special.

·         Showing interest in their interested activities even when not like it that much is commended. You might not like sports which might interest your partner, still watch it with them or ask them to teach you, in a way, this will bond with each other.

Going On Dates

Even in an arranged marriage, you might have gone on dates with each other prior to your wedding. But it might not have been as romantic as it may be now. Plan a surprise as evening date and take your partner to a fancy restaurant and cherish each other’s presence.

Do you feel that your relationship is nearing an end? Avoiding a breakdown in a relationship asks efforts, particularly dealing with relationship issues such as physical disloyalty, anxiety, health issue, a shortage of quality time spending, or an emotional matter.

Even in the absence of non-occurrence of the above-said issues, still maintaining a healthy relationship asks for years of mutual promise, understanding, and honesty amongst the partners, they need to recommit & reaffirm each other often.

In this article, Delhi’s top marriage counselor and relationship expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo talks about 5 tips to avoid a breakdown in the relationship.

Building Trust

One of the most important tip to avoid a breakdown in the relationship is to start working on building trust mutually since numerous issues in a relationship originates from this factor alone.

Never question your partner if they have never given you a reason to doubt them. And if in past trust has been broken, put efforts in repairing the bond. When you can’t trust your partner, you won’t be able to depend on them emotionally or otherwise, which is not a good sign of a healthy relationship.

Building trust needs time & effort, but you can gradually progress by being honest with your partner. Being modest, being transparent in your actions, and always stand with your word can make your partner trust and admire being in a relationship with you.

Maintaining A Healthy Sex Life

Passion is an integral part of marriage that just cannot be ignored. Being sexually close as a couple is one of the fastest ways you bond with your partner, while it is a private, enjoyable and sexual expression that is shared between you two. With all those pumping adrenaline, dopamine, and oxytocin levels of hormones that gush through your body after getting intimate with your partner bring you and your partner closer.

Sex is also considered to have health benefits, as it helps reduces stress, your sleep is better, it lessens pain and builds a good immune system of you two.

More notably, it promotes a sense of gratification in a relationship. Some findings of the scientific study revealed the fact that in relationship couples showed a significant association between nuptial satisfaction and sexual satisfaction. Having a great sex life helps you and your spouse feel intimate and tolerate minor character flaws of another.

Communication

If you want to take just one tip out of this list to your heart, then consider this one as the most crucial one that: in order to avoid issues in a relationship, you and your partner must invest in learning how to communicate with each other.

Often partners unwilling to listen, talk, or empathizes with each other are on the path of the collapse of a relationship. It is this harmful behavior that conveys to your partner your insignificance of their time and respect. It is misunderstanding which may arise when partners don’t understand where the other is approaching from, or what they tend to convey.

Good communication will help to avoid arguments. It also boosts the bond between you two and helps letting you know each other better. However, you need to be eager to be at risk and have patience and put it ineffective to work.

Tackling The Problems The Right Way

In relationship couples often have arguments. Learn how to resolve your issues the right way tends to help in avoiding a breakdown in a relationship in the future. By following these 3 steps this can be achieved.

Listening: When an issue arises, let your partner voice their views & feelings on the matter. Let them speak up, uninterrupted, and with an open mind think what they are saying.

Communicating: Explaining your perspective in a calmer and respectful manner is needed. Do not yell, fight openly in public, or attacking your partner’s character. Instead, speak to solve the issue at once. Tackle the problem, not your partner.

Resolving: This one is the final step. In relationship issues, meet your partner at a suitable time and discuss how you both can fix the issue. You should mutually be willing to apologize in case they are in the wrong, or reconcile and meet somewhere “in the middle” to resolve it.

Taking Time Out For Each Other

Often Life can be hectic, but it shouldn’t be an excuse to ignore your partner.
Don’t let it become a habit that prevents you from spending as much time together as you would like, due to reasons that maybe work stress and concerns like family problems or health issues.

It can be very dangerous for a relationship which makes a partner feel like they are not worthy of another’s time or when work is chosen over relationships, or when friendships or child-rearing is set as a top priority above your relationship.

Do take quality time out for one another, that is by arranging a regular date night, or by arranging a routine activity together. Routine activity maybe like talking for an hour before bedtime, sitting and eating dinner at the table every night, or having a chat in the morning at the coffee table before you head off to your work.

It is a simple yet vital fact that doesn’t let small or big relationship issues dampen your relationship. Try to communicate, daily appreciate each other and invest in building trust in each other.

If you have been blindsided or confused by a breakup, you’re probably thinking about what exactly went wrong. You likely have plenty of unanswered questions that are hindering you from moving forward. But rather than staying stuck in one place once your relationship has ended, it is essential to ease yourself out of your rut and start moving further.

In this article, Delhi’s renowned marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares essential tips to let go of a failed relationship.

After all, the only way to gain a sense of freedom following a breakup is to accept the real situation and move in a new direction.

Cut Ties with Your Ex

First and foremost, implement a no-contact rule. For instance, if you were married and have recently filed for divorce, insist on maintaining only minimal contact going forward. And when you do see each other, follow the given rules: Be polite, be concise and be gone. The important part is that you need to begin building a life without your ex-partner in it, no matter how much you would like to tie up loose ends or get your questions about the breakup answered.

It does not matter why you broke up, what matters is that you have broken up. If he wasn’t a person enough to tell you why your partner was breaking up with you, then that’s just a further sign that he or she is not a person you want in your life.

Remember That It Is Over For a Reason

Write down a minimum of 10 reasons why your relationship didn’t work out. Then read it whenever you find yourself craving to rekindle the flame. It’s important to realize that the relationship wasn’t perfect.

Our tendency is to look back blindingly, but we forget to look at the things that simply were not working. Be honest with yourself about what wasn’t working for you in your relationship; it is a process that will help you see the relationship from a more realistic angle.

By looking at the things that did not work, you can begin to come to the conclusion on your own that this wasn’t correct for both of you. It will help you move on.

Remove Your Ex from Your Social Media Networks

Unfriend your ex on Facebook, stop following him/her on Twitter and even consider doing the same with any close friends of his who you have connected with through social media. If you can’t, you’ll have the temptation of wanting to know what’s happening in his life – and you almost cannot help following what’s going on.

It will seem harsh, but if you keep seeing or checking updates from your ex or his friends, it’s a kind of self-torture. Stop making yourself available to these types of experiences immediately.

Start Moving Forward In Your Life

There is a saying that the best revenge is living well and we’re inclined to believe that sentiment. Instead of pining away over something that didn’t work out, it is better using all that time and energy to improve yourself.

This is the time to take a good look at your priorities and find out which direction you want to go. You can start marching towards your brilliant future sooner than you actually think.

Whether you like it or not, your relationship has come to an end. The quicker you get on with the rest of your life, the better off you’ll be. Stop trying to find out what went wrong or what you could have done differently, and instead just accept your situation for what it is so you could heal.

In today’s fast moving lifestyle, building a healthy and long lasting relationship with your spouse is not easy; a large portion of the population that daily faces professional, travel and financial pressures, find the least time and energy to devote to their family and spouse.

According to Delhi’s eminent marriage counsellor and relationship expert, Shivani Misri Sadhoo, the key to maintain a healthy and long term relationship is not to take relationship or spouse for granted rather put a constant effort to enhance the romantic bond by – building healthy relationship habits. These good romantic relationship habits could be:

1.  Always go to bed together.

One of the effective good relationship habits is to go to bed at the same time. Remember happy couples resist the temptation to go to bed at different times. There’s nothing more soothing than a bedtime cuddle.

2. They don’t expect their partner to read their mind; they ask for what they need: 

The happiest couples generally ask for what they need and listen to each other’s needs. Running around hoping that another person will know what you need or that you are supposed to know exactly what they need is a recipe for disaster. The happiest couples are delighted to openly talk about needs and honour differences in needs without feeling like anyone should have already known or that their ‘soul mate’ will have the same needs as them.

3. Always trust and try to forgive.

In every relationship, there would be arguments and small fights but couples who are dedicated towards their relationship make a habit to trust and forgive, rather than distrusting and begrudging as their default setting after an argument.

4. They focus on what they do right, not what they do wrong.

Positive reinforcement is an age-old concept used with children but it’s also important for fully grown adults too. So compliment your partner when they deserve it and try not to look for things they do wrong.