If you have been blindsided or confused by a breakup, you’re probably thinking about what exactly went wrong. You likely have plenty of unanswered questions that are hindering you from moving forward. But rather than staying stuck in one place once your relationship has ended, it is essential to ease yourself out of your rut and start moving further.
In this article, Delhi’s renowned marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares essential tips to let go of a failed relationship.
After all, the only way to gain a sense of freedom following a breakup is to accept the real situation and move in a new direction.
Cut Ties with Your Ex
First and foremost, implement a no-contact rule. For instance, if you were married and have recently filed for divorce, insist on maintaining only minimal contact going forward. And when you do see each other, follow the given rules: Be polite, be concise and be gone. The important part is that you need to begin building a life without your ex-partner in it, no matter how much you would like to tie up loose ends or get your questions about the breakup answered.
It does not matter why you broke up, what matters is that you have broken up. If he wasn’t a person enough to tell you why your partner was breaking up with you, then that’s just a further sign that he or she is not a person you want in your life.
Remember That It Is Over For a Reason
Write down a minimum of 10 reasons why your relationship didn’t work out. Then read it whenever you find yourself craving to rekindle the flame. It’s important to realize that the relationship wasn’t perfect.
Our tendency is to look back blindingly, but we forget to look at the things that simply were not working. Be honest with yourself about what wasn’t working for you in your relationship; it is a process that will help you see the relationship from a more realistic angle.
By looking at the things that did not work, you can begin to come to the conclusion on your own that this wasn’t correct for both of you. It will help you move on.
Remove Your Ex from Your Social Media Networks
Unfriend your ex on Facebook, stop following him/her on Twitter and even consider doing the same with any close friends of his who you have connected with through social media. If you can’t, you’ll have the temptation of wanting to know what’s happening in his life – and you almost cannot help following what’s going on.
It will seem harsh, but if you keep seeing or checking updates from your ex or his friends, it’s a kind of self-torture. Stop making yourself available to these types of experiences immediately.
Start Moving Forward In Your Life
There is a saying that the best revenge is living well and we’re inclined to believe that sentiment. Instead of pining away over something that didn’t work out, it is better using all that time and energy to improve yourself.
This is the time to take a good look at your priorities and find out which direction you want to go. You can start marching towards your brilliant future sooner than you actually think.
Whether you like it or not, your relationship has come to an end. The quicker you get on with the rest of your life, the better off you’ll be. Stop trying to find out what went wrong or what you could have done differently, and instead just accept your situation for what it is so you could heal.
Counsellor Shivani is experienced and certified counseling psychologists with specialization in the area of Personal Crisis interventions like coping-up with Relationship Issues, Marriage Counselling, Separation & Divorce, Child and Adolescent issues, Depression, Stress, Domestic and Sexual Abuse, Loss & Grief, Suicidal feelings.
Counsellor Shivani is currently working with India 's top hospital groups like Fortis Hospital, IBS (Indian Brain & Spine) Hospital and with Express Clinics.
Counsellor Shivani is a Certified Neuro-Linguistic Practitioner with specialized training and experience in the fields of Relationship and Marital issues. She is a Level 3 Trained Gottman Method Couples Therapist.
Call Counselor: +91-8860875040
Gottman Certification: https://gottmanreferralnetwork.com/therapists/shivani-misri-sadhoo?search[country_code]=IN
Latest posts by Relationship and Marriage Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo (see all)
- LITTLE CHANGES THAT CAN MAKE A HUGE IMPACT ON YOUR MARITAL LIFE - October 8, 2019
- SIGNS YOU NEED MARRIAGE COUNSELLING - October 7, 2019
- Why Relationship Counselling today is Getting More Important Than Wedding Vows? – Shared by Marriage Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo - September 30, 2019