Marriage Counsellor and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

Lack of confidence, gloom and doom, distrust, and anxiety are toxic doses. You perhaps wonder how one person can survive with all those inside them. Yet, these negative people exist all around us and are at times impossible to avoid.

It is not to say that you will never ever have moments of despair, anxiety, and discouragement. But as a positive person, you never let these thoughts take control of your life. You live the 4 to 1 ratio. You generate four positive thoughts for each negative one, to keep situations from getting out of control.

Below, in this article from Top Delhi-based Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo you will find some signs of negative people, and see what makes them tick. You will discover why several people are unaware of their negativity and how it is hampering their lives, and everyone else’s. These warning signs will also prepare you to be on the alert so that you can avoid falling into the trap of negativity.

They Always Worry

Negative people always survive on worry, a very unhealthy diet. This mindset is programmed towards the need to feel safe and protected and aware to an extreme degree. Practicing mindfulness and living in the present are great ways to defeat worry.

They Live in the Default Position

There is a neurological explanation as to why some individuals end up being so negative. It has to do with the part of their brain called the amygdala, which functions like an alarm and is continuously on the lookout for danger, fear, and unpleasant news. Scientists feel this to be the brain’s default position. In evolutionary terms, it is understandable; it is entirely part of the fear-flight mechanism in which the brain uses most of its neurons to keep up with all the unpleasant news that is stored in the memory.

Positive people form an ability to evaluate and stand up to problems that can counteract this mechanism.

They Try to Tell You What to Do

When people begin to tell you what you must do with your life, what property to buy or whether you must change your job, you can be certain they are in the negative squad. They do not realize it but this is a certain sign that they have not sorted out their own life problems. It is a lot simpler to tell everyone else how to live their lives.

They Love Secrecy

If you meet a negative person at a gathering, you could find the conversation rather tedious. Fearful of revealing too much information related to themselves, they live in fear that doing so might be used against them in some way. They rarely think that what they might share could be used in a positive manner too.

If you find yourself or someone else becoming defensive and closed during a conversation, think about possible reasons why.

They Cannot Restrict Their Exposure to Bad News

Negative persons love coming into your cubicle and saying things such as, “have you heard the terrible news about….”, post which they fill you in on all the gory details. The tragedy is that overexposure to negative news impacts a person more deeply than was previously thought. Some studies have shown that media exposure to violence, death, and tragedy adds to depression and anxiety, as well as to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). It colors a negative individual’s outlook on life.

That is why you must restrict the amount of news you watch on television or read in newspapers. Difficult? Probably. But important if you are to remain positive.

They Complain a Lot

Negative people seem to whine a lot, convinced that the entire world is against them. They are generally the victim of lousy weather, a problematic boss, ill-luck, and their upbringing. They rarely step back to look at other reasons – like the lack of energy, creativity, or plain hard work.

The Like to Live in Their Comfort Zone

Leaving the familiar world is anathema to those people who are negative. They cannot face the possibility of extra fear, discomfort, hurdles, challenges, or failure. They are thus never really able to try out new experiences and are destined to dwell in their dull and dreary comfort zone.

They Love to Use the Word “But”

A negative person could say something positive or even compliment you on your great talent. They may be happy to find themselves on the beach or in a shopping mall. The only issue is they finish their remarks with the ‘but’ word, turning the positive manner into a negative. You get remarks such as “It looks like a great restaurant but I wonder why you did not book a table outside” or “It is a lovely beach but there are always too crowded.”

They Mostly Miss Out on the Good Things in Life

A negative individual will hardly recognize joy, passion, satisfaction, and excitement. These are not emotions or sensations that they daily experience.

Definitely, this is hardly surprising when considering these individuals are fixated on their unsatisfying professional life, relationships, and social status.

They are Like Energy Vampires

Apart from being demanding, negative people drain out all your energy, simply like a vampire. They are just incapable of generating any positive energy and will absorb all your attention, time, and energy as they move forward to drag you down the negativity spiral.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-19 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

It is a very common phenomenon when someone says they are not able to forgive or forget a specific incident specifically when it involves a relationship. Letting go is often the most difficult thing to accomplish. You may have heard that forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. Perhaps because forgiving is not easy, specifically, when some deeds do not appear worthy of forgiveness. However, the difficult work is worth it. It has been seen that positive psychology has found forgiveness can be helpful in dealing with symptoms of depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder.

Forgiving can give personal peace and also improve physical health. How? Because forgiveness is not just about making other person feel good about their transgressions. It is also, about lightening the mental weight that their transgressions have left upon you. This lightening impact is not simply metaphorical.

In the year of 2014 study published in Social Psychological and Personality Science, 160 persons were divided into three groups. One group mentioned an incident in which they had been gravely hurt, but decided to forgive their offender; another group said about a time in which they are yet to forgiven an offender, and a control group mentioned a neutral interaction with a friend. All those participants were then guided through a mock fitness drill in which they had to jump as high as they could five times. The participants who had said about forgiveness jumped significantly higher compared to those in the unforgiving set.

Are you amongst those who find it hard to forgive or forget? This blog by Delhi’s Top Psychologist, Marriage Counselor, and Relationship Expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo says here are some ways that will truly let you forgive and forget.

Bring to Light

Be absolute honest with yourself about your anger and pain, and analyze the complete damage the injustice has caused in your life. If your parent made you feel inadequate while growing up, does your self-esteem still suffers? Do you search for love and validation in an unhealthy manner?

Determine

You need to make the conscious decision to forgive those who harmed you, and give up on any vengeful conduct on your part. If an office colleague once stole an idea of yours, say, and you have been denying him/her credit on other projects ever since this is time to change your method. The negativity and anger you stick to would not do you any good in the long run.

Act

It takes work to understand and empathize with a person who has hurt you. Here you need to ask yourself a certain question: What was life like for this individual while growing up? What psychological wounds he/she might be nursing? What added pressures or stresses was the individual experiencing at that moment he/she offended you? Then thought of a small gift, if you could offer that person. It could be a simple smile, a handshake or a hug, a returned phone call or message, or simply more tolerance the next moment you are with them. Bear in mind, though, that forgiveness and reconciliation are never the same. If you were living or are in an abusive relationship of any sort, your forgiveness might and should come from afar.

Discover

Look for meaning and purpose in what you have been through. How could you help others who may be hurting? If you have been a victim of any physical or mental bias, for instance, you may decide to become more active in some humanitarian issues. In the emotional relief of letting it go, you can even discover the paradox of forgiveness: As you give to others the gifts of mercy, kindness, generosity, and moral love, you yourself get healed.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-19 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

It may feel strange when at times, you struggle to tell even the person closest to you about your true emotions. Keeping feelings of anger, sadness, and misery into words can be quite difficult. Even if the words are at the tip of your tongue, even if they are shouting in your mind and you look to let them out, you clench them back.

Counselor Shivani says there are times when the words are simply not enough to show how genuinely you feel. You wish to perhaps you do not know.

Also, at times one may feel exhausted from attempting to repair things and totally given up because he/she feels nothing will improve.

India’s leading Psychologist and Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo in this blog reveal secrets behind people hiding emotions.

You Have Doubts Whether People Will Understand You

At certain times, you might suppress your feelings since you are worried that people will not understand. You think that when they fail to relate with what you are going through, they might reject or disapprove of what you are feeling or saying, simply because they do not get it. However, there is always a possibility to find someone who will really understand you and never reject anything you have to say as small or tell you that you are being too sensitive or unreasonable.

You Do Not Trust Others To See Your Vulnerable Side

To reveal your innermost fears and doubts can be terrifying. Putting yourself out there can seem like you are exposing yourself, making your soul bare, and allowing someone a look inside. And you feel that people may take advantage of you or maybe even leave you alone when you are vulnerable. As difficult as it might be, taking the chance to get in touch with your feelings with someone you really trust can help your emotional wellbeing.

You Try To Be In Control Of Your Emotions But At Times Repress Them Up

Over a period of time, you might have been convinced that shedding a tear or saying that you are hurt is a sign of weakness. You combat with yourself to remain in control of your emotions, to stay emotionally rigid due to the perfectionist that you are. But being able to counter your fears in front of people, is the actual test of emotional strength, rather than ignore your genuine emotions and try to bury them away somewhere in your mind.

You Try To Avoid Arguments and Conflicts

Does not matter how difficult the situation is, you do everything to avoid getting into a tussle, specifically with someone close to you. You think that saying excessive or revealing your true feelings could get you trapped in unwanted arguments. However, in certain cases, having healthy discussions can boost your emotional bond with someone. When your requirements are equally met with that of the other individual, it can develop a cemented relationship.

You Believe That Whatever You Will Do Will Not Get Better

Post trying too hard to make things good, you may feel hopeless and totally given up on trying anymore. It is possible that you think your spouse, friend, or family member is too stubborn or ignorant to the way you feel. But it’s essential to ensure you have relationships where you can freely open-up without any fear of being judged or looked down upon.

You Carry The Burden Of Others, Despite It Hurts You

You prioritize the feelings of others before your own. And due to this, you willingly carry the burden of others while putting yours aside. You are first to show up and help others from the difficulties they are in but you never look out for help when you’re in need. Even when you are hurt, you show up for the people who matter to you. But at times, you need a break, too. You need a time where you can break down, allow your feelings out, and cry on someone’s shoulder who will calmly listen. Countering your feelings and coping with them can improve your relationship with yourself and others.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-19 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

Many people cannot wait for the night to come so that they can go to bed and enjoy a resting until the morning, specifically, if they have a good quality mattress beneath them, the one that can give a good night’s rest. But for a few, that is a quite scary, almost a horrifying experience. Yes, here counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo is talking about the fear of sleep, or as it is also called Somniphobia, that can make your life miserable and affect your both physical and mental well-being.

For persons who have this phobia, the idea of falling asleep is unimaginable. There is no logical explanation for this, but for some reason, they are afraid to fall asleep and that they will never get up because something terrible might happen, or that the same old nightmare will be waiting to haunt them as soon as they close their eyes.

What is Somniphobia?

This phobia has several names such as hypnophobia, clinophobia, somniphobia, sleep dread, and sleep anxiety. It is an irrational fear of falling asleep because of what may happen while you are unconscious. The general scenario implies an individual worrying all day long about having to go to sleep, and then, when the moment arrives, their anxiety levels are so high that their body cannot relax enough for them actually to get some rest.

It is clear that at a certain point, the person will fall asleep, but their resting moment will be of low quality and frequently disturbed. If that pattern keeps happening, and it nearly always does when it comes to this phobia, after a certain time, the health of the individual will be jeopardized. So, if you recognize yourself in these steps, you need to know how to overcome somniphobia, because it is not a matter to ignore and it can have serious implications after some time.

Through this blog, India’s leading Psychologist and Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo talks about somniphobia and how to overcome it.

Things that Causes Somniphobia or Fear of Sleep

There could be various for this phobia Here are some prominent ones.

·         Anxiety

·         Nightmares

·         Fear of Death

·         Sleepwalking

·         Sleep Talking

·         Sleep Paralysis

·         Trauma

·         Horror Movies or Stories

Fear of Falling Asleep Symptoms

Your body is always telling you if something is a bit right, one way or another. You need to listen to it properly, pay attention to every detail, and changes it goes through because it can lead you to the core of the issue. When it comes to your sleep deprivation caused due to fear of falling asleep, these are infallible signs. They are:

·         Daytime Sleepiness

·         Mood Swings

·         Memory Loss

·         Chronic Fatigue

Other Symptoms

Some of your body reactions will not so clearly point to having this sort of problem, but if you noticed some of those repeating actions, and you are aware you have been deprived of sleep, you need to think about consulting with the professional.

If you begin feeling distressed as the night time and the bedtime inches closer if you counter the urge to sleep and look to stay up as late as possible if you feel panic attacks or trouble breathing when the night arrives, this could be the problem you are facing. Also, if you find it hard to think about anything else, then the fear of sleep, or have a problem remembering stuff, it is likely you have clinophobia.

On the other side, some symptoms could be extreme nausea or other stomach issues when the time for bed comes, just as the feeling of great pressure around the chest area, and faster heart rate after a minute or two spent in the bed. It might happen you experience things like hyperventilation, extreme sweating, and shaking, while children can start crying and screaming when their parents look to leave the room.

Some Individuals often tend to consume drinks or some other substances in order to get sleep. Some have strict rules that require to be applied, such as leaving television, lights, and the music on to distract them.

Is There Any Risk Factor?

If you or someone in your family who suffers or suffered from some kind of phobia or extreme anxiety, it is more likely for you to have this specific phobia of sleeping or some other. Though there are no clear thing claiming there is a genetic link, but the reality is chances are increased.

Also, having one of several sleep disorders or a serious medical condition might be a factor of higher somniphobia risk. For instance, if you have a heart-related problem that could lead to death, you may start being afraid of that happening in the night while you are asleep. Eventually, that kind of fear can lead to sleep phobia.

Consulting a professional is the best thing you can do if suspecting you have this sort of problem. They will need primarily to diagnose it properly, and then they will assist you to overcome it. It is not something that will go away all of a sudden, without help, and it is serious enough to impact your physical and mental health, as well as your regular life.

How Can You Treat Somniphobia?

Once it comes to a conclusion on the main source of your phobia, the therapist prescribes you a certain treatment. They could be:

Exposure Therapy

This kind of therapy includes working with a psychologist on exposing your fear and slowly overcoming it. This means talking about the fear, experimenting with some relaxing techniques, and thinking about what it will mean to have a good night’s rest. Sometimes this method may include spending time in a sleep lab or with a professional who stays there while you sleep.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

CBT is based on your counter and challenging the bad thoughts that stop you from sleeping peacefully. That could be pointed to thoughts related to sleep itself or towards the fear that forces you not wanting to go to bed. Usually, the therapist will recommend a sleep restriction method, which means that you required to go to bed and get up every day at the same time, irrespective if you have slept or not.

Medication

There are not medications for phobia, but some of them can decrease anxiety and other symptoms. If there is no other method, then depending on your condition you may be prescribed some medicine.

Conclusion

People who have never experienced something like this cannot probably understand what you are going through, the agony of feeling extremely fatigued but countering the urge to sleep so hard while experiencing all sorts of unpleasant symptoms. The vital thing is not to develop a stigma around it, but to accept you have an issue, the one that is not so uncommon as you thought and is treatable. Be aware that if you keep continuing to ignore it, as several people tend to, you will keep exposing your body to extreme levels of stress that could and most likely will lead to some sort of health problem.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-19 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high. 

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service! 

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

When we are in a relationship with a person, we have an additional bond with that person with all humanity. Imagine the bond to be a very strong silver code that ties, two people together. Because we are “suckers for punishment”. It literally sucks us back to the person until we either realize that we no longer need them and move on.

Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo says to identify a relationship predator partner else it becomes way too late. A relationship predator is insidious and slowly consumes away your confidence and self-esteem. Where the impacts are for the long term may be lifelong and might take even longer to recover. One should never willingly enter into a damaging relationship, even when someone close to you warns, you what they can see but you cannot.

This blog by India’s leading marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo discusses Relationship-Predator and why some people still love a person who has victimized them.

Relationship-Predators are Common

More than 3 Million incidents of partner violence are reported each year, including both a man and a woman. 1/3^rd of women and 1/4^th of men have experienced some sort of interpersonal violence and for one-fourth of women and one-seventh of men, it’s severe.

A woman gets physically beaten or assaulted every 9 seconds.

20 persons are victims by their intimate partner each minute, adding about 10 million every year.

Some Facts About Relationship-Predators

Both men and women can be victims. If someone you love says they’ve been the victim of domestic or emotional violence, you should believe and support them, since no gender is safe and no amount of physical strength or emotional fortitude protects against relationship predators.

·         Usually, relationship crimes take place behind closed doors.

·         Predators blame the victim.

·         Predator deny their actions.

·         The predators desire to be correct and in control.

·         The predators are possessive and could try to isolate their partner from friends or family.

·         The predators are hypersensitive and could react with rage.

You may not realize that predators feel powerless. They never act insecure to hide the truth. One common thing is that their motive is to have power over their victim. To them, communication is a win-lose game.

Reasons Why One Still Loves a relationship-predators

There are some reasons why one still loves a relationship predator. One of the points one raises is that falling in love is natural. So, if somehow things go awful. It does not mean that they should leave the person. Thoughts like forgiveness and kindness rule the course. Let us take some of the reasons why one still loves the person.

Being Refused to Survive

If one is not treated with respect in his/her family and has low self-esteem, he/she will tend to deny the crime. Often thoughts cross probably I deserve the same. And blaming oneself is often easy stating probably it’s your own fault. And the life without that person has no meaning.

Projection, Glorification and Recurrence of Compulsion

Sometimes thoughts of unpleasant childhood run amok. Maybe if the predator reminds you of one of your parents. Then thinking liking probably now you can mend the things keep on running in your mind. You end up believing that this could be the time to redeem your overall past and secure a future.

The Cycle

Just like a fact that a honeymoon cannot go on forever. Similarly, you get yourself in a trap believing the one or two incidents of being a victim will not be repeated. This gives you the belief that you can stay together.

Empathy

Many people feel that having empathy with a person will help things to go better. However, in doing so one often ignores empathy for himself/herself. As a result, you start to deny the fact that you are living with pain.

These are often some of the reasons that force one to stay with a predator. Even if there is a repeated offence.

What to Do

If one is being mentally and emotionally predator, believe your gut instincts. Know that it is not correct and you do not need to live this way. Otherwise, your options come down to the specifics of your circumstances.

·         Accept that the relationship cime isn’t your responsibility.

·         Disengage and set personal boundaries.

·         Exit the relationship or circumstances.

·         Give yourself time to heal.

·         If you feel you are in a violent, controlling, co-dependent or bad relationship or want to get recovery from such a relationship contact.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-19 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high. 

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service! 

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, or emotional and psychological challenges.

You will also have various kinds of relationships with several people throughout your lives. Each of them can bring something unique, whether it is good or bad. Relationships with partner, family, friends, and colleagues will add to your life’s rich tapestry of experiences.

However, when you are living alone there is one key relationship that matters more than any other in your life. This is the relationship that you have with yourself.

This blog by India’s top Relationship Expert and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo revolves around the reasons why the most vital relationship in the one you have with yourself.

It is a Lifelong Relationship

The relationship you have with yourself is the sole one that you can be completely sure will last as long as you do, so it is essential to get it right. Though there are possibly to be some bumps along the road, this is a journey that you will always be undertaking with yourself. Learn to enjoy your own company and be gentle to yourself.

Knowing Yourself is Important

Understanding your own strengths and weaknesses can assist you to make the correct decisions in life. It is important to take that time to get to know yourself so that you understand your real dreams, worries, and abilities. This might mean giving more time for daily reflection which could assist you to feel more driven and confident and equally feel more certain about who you are.

Being Selfish can be Beneficial

You all need to prioritize yourself at least some of the time. Valuing the relationship, you have with yourself will let you do what is right for you rather than always placing other people first. You must place as much importance on the relationship you have with yourself as you do on those with your closest friends. You should therefore be ready to invest just as much time and effort into it, even if it means taking time out for yourself every now and then.

Its What you Do that Matters

The worthiest things in life are not the things that you own, but the things you spend your time doing. Investing in yourself by learning and developing new skills, practicing your favorite hobby, making something, or simply putting in some effort into a big project is what will make you most fulfilled. The happiest moments are usually in the middle of a big challenge or when you have achieved something that counts.

Being Independent is Important

Being able to depend upon yourself is important, specifically when you are living alone. You need to develop the skills that will enable you to be self-sufficient, not only in practical matters but in emotional ones as well. Learning to trust yourself more, is one of the most critical results of forming a strong relationship with yourself. It can help you to feel stronger, braver, and more capable.

It is Good for Your Mental and Physical Health

Mental health is also as important as your physical wellbeing. When you are living alone and having a good attitude and understanding towards yourself can be very advantageous for your mental health and emotional wellbeing. You will be better at handling the negative emotions and more aware of any signs of mental health issues. Having better self-awareness and knowledge to understand what in life makes you happy, sad, content, satisfied, and subsequently making changes in your life and allotting priorities accordingly will bring positive outcomes to how you feel every day.

Being familiar with your own body is essential for your health. You need to develop a good relationship with your body in an attempt to keep them healthy and to be able to recognize any signs of trouble. Forming a better relationship with yourself can help you to eat better, avail more sleep, and remain fit and healthy.

Other’s Opinion is Just that

Even though listening to other people is and could be important, your own opinions are what actually matters most. You must value your own judgment and not allow yourself to be swayed too much by other people. Simply because someone thinks that your routine or work is uninteresting or your style is out of date, it does not mean that you have to agree. They are welcome for their opinions, but be sure about sticking to your own. Your self-esteem is mostly linked to what other people think of you, or at least what you perceive others think of you.  Thus, it is important to feel comfortable in your own skin, having your own judgments, and with your own set of likes and dislikes helping you to shape who you are.

You are the Truly One Who Actually Understand Yourself

Every individual is a bit complex, unique, and changeable, which means that it can be difficult for even the closest to you to understand completely, who you are. The person who is best positioned to understand you is yourself and you are the sole one who can do this. You can be your own most sympathetic ally because you are the one who has the ability to understand your feelings and intentions best.

It Will Eventually Impact Your Relationship with Others

When you live alone, having a good relationship with yourself could make a huge difference in the manner you interact with other people. Understanding your own emotions will help you to empathize with others. Being aware of your own strengths and weaknesses can make it easier to forgive other people for theirs. Nobody is an island and people living alone mostly have strong relationships with the people around them. The way you feel about yourself can decide how kindly you treat other people, whether you are close to that person or not.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-19 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high. 

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service! 

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

While being afraid of the dark might be a part of normal development in some young children, this is not the case for older children and adults. Nyctophobia is basically an age-inappropriate fear of darkness that can force someone to limit their activities, avoid specific circumstances, and experience anxiety in the anticipation of there being lying something dangerous and no light.

Psychologist Shivani says it is when the concern crosses over from being an inborn protective technic to being a clinical issue that it is designated as a phobia.

This blog specifically revolves around Nyctophobia, and India’s top Psychologist and Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo talks about the causes and treatment for the same.

Causes

Nyctophobia, also known as scotophobia, lygophobia, and achluophobia. This may be evolutionary in nature as several predators hunt at night. The fear might not be linked to darkness itself but unknown dangers are hidden in the darkness (this is why horror and suspense movies generally use darkness as a way to scare audiences). A general lack of security and confidence also plays into this as well, particularly if you tend to be afraid of the dark mostly while alone.

Psychoanalytic believes that fear of the dark could be related to the separation anxiety from a primary attachment figure, a phenomenon that has been detailed further.

Symptoms and Diagnosis

Symptoms of nyctophobia differs from individual to individual and according to the severity of a specific case. In general, symptoms of nyctophobia includes:

·         Getting nervous in any darkened surroundings.

·         Being reluctant to go out at night.

·         Experiencing physiological symptoms like increased heart rate, sweating, visible shaking, and also feeling ill (nausea, headaches, and diarrhea) when forced to spend some time in the dark.

·         Need to put on the light at night while sleeping.

Symptoms of during more severe cases of nyctophobia include:

·         Trying to run away from dark areas or rooms.

·         Getting angry or defensive if anyone tries to force or tease you to spend time in the dark.

·         Compulsively staying back indoors at night.

Nyctophobia has certain diagnostic criteria that are common to every phobia, which separates them from simple fears.

Treatment

The aim of therapy is to challenge the fearful beliefs about the dark by replacing the negative self-talk with more positive ones. The rate of successful treatment for certain phobias such as nyctophobia is approximately 90% and mostly accomplished with the help of techniques drawn from the cognitive-behavioral school therapy.

The treatment plan your therapist would recommend for you or your child could include:

·         Exposure to the dark in bits, incremental, non-threatening doses in a method called desensitization.

·         1-on-1 talk therapy, family therapy, or even group therapy.

·         Learning relaxation techniques, like deep breathing, meditation, or yoga.

·         Medications such as anti-anxiety and antidepressant.

If you are struggling due to any sort of phobia or other psychological issues. Do not hide them. Rather, you do not need to panic, you should seek some help from a qualified psychologist.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-10 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high. 

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service! 

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

You are planning to travel, so you booked a flight ticket. You fulfilled all the procedures, and you have double-checked your belongings. Everything looks good except for a thing. It’s that you cannot stand the thought of getting inside a plane.

Your palms begin sweating, your heart palpitating, your breathing goes up, and your mind starts racing with all kinds of dangerous thoughts. For some people, flying can be downright terrifying.

Psychologist Shivani says fear of flying, also called as Aerophobia, impacts nearly 2.5 to 6.5% of the population. When you board a plane, you will see out it’s not only you who is anxious. There are other passengers too that are tightly holding their seats with their eyes wide open.

The good thing is that several tested techniques can help calm your restless mind.

Technology is improving, and flying has become more secure with every passing day. Thus, there’s not much to worry about in the first instance. It’s only a matter of opting for the right approaches and thinking that will make your flying experience a whole lot comfortable.

This blog by India’s top Psychologist and Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo focusses on the tips that will help you overcome aerophobia.

Here are some of them.

Be Aware of Your Fears

Your anxiety can become quite creative while you’re flying. Your mind keeps providing you with thoughts about all the things that may go wrong. An overactive mind can magnify an issue and present it to be larger than it is.

So, it is very essential to be aware of your thoughts so you can understand and manage them when things begin getting out of hand. And this is when mindfulness comes in.

The gist of mindfulness is being aware of your fearful and irrational thoughts, so they do not overcome you. When you are aware of where your mind is going, you have the ability to stop those thoughts before they overpower you.

You can also, attempt to get a mindfulness app to assist you with guided meditations while you wait at the airport or even when you are heading to the airport. It helps lower stress and gets a better understanding of things.

Reach Airport Early

The last thing that you have to worry about is reaching the airport late or missing your flight. If you are late, you will panic and may have additional problems with security. The added stress will make it more complicated to manage your fear of flying, and things could go in a downward spiral.

Reaching the airport earlier will ensure you do not have to panic about anything. While you are at the airport, take a small walk or just chill out for a while. It will reduce anxiety and will make you relaxed.

Prepare Properly at Home

You don’t have to reach the airport and find out that you forgot something or that you have to buy something that you can’t get to the airport.

Also, it is recommended not to consume any hard drink or caffeinated beverages prior to you board a plane. Having them can make you even more stressed. Energy drinks can also quantify adrenaline levels, so they’re also not a wise idea. Also, have light meals before leaving for the airport.

Have everything collected and packed at your home and check twice, so you don’t have to worry regarding anything additional when you reach the airport.

Have Faith in Your Pilots and Technology

You may not know but traveling by airplane is by far the safest mode of travel worldwide. Yes, you read it right. Your chances of meeting an accident while flying are about 1 in 11 Million.

The pilots who are flying the plane are experienced professionals and have a complete education about everything they need to know. Aviation schools are demanding, and the pilots have to prove their mettle through several stress training before they get to be in an actual aircraft with people.

Airplanes are built to survive turbulence even in the most extreme cases. Airplane engines are made with 99.999% reliability, even in the highly unlikely possibility of engine failure, your plane can easily land without any concern.

Trust the cabin crew and engineering. They can manage even the most severe cases, so you are in safe hands.

Get Yourself Distracted

An empty mind will keep fueling your anxiety. It’s always good to distract yourself when you are inside the plane. If your mind is diverted, it will not have time to overthink any unwarranted fears.

So, carry a book with you or download some music on your phone so you can listen to it mid-flight. Crack a conversation with the passenger sitting nearby or try something that keeps your mind off from the fearful thoughts.

Imagine about the Place, You are Traveling To

Just envision all the delicious foods you’ll have or the places you will visit or the people you will meet once you get to your planned destination. Getting excited is another good way to entertain and distract your mind.

When you think about all the good things that are about to come, you will not only feel happier but also less stressed. Also, look at the people sitting beside you. They look confident and enjoying their flight, so why shouldn’t you?

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-19 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high. 

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service! 

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

You might have seen that a person all of a sudden asks you a particular thing about which only you know, yet that person ends up asking regarding that thing. At that point, you may be wondering how come he/she came to know about it. Well, this is one of the qualities of an empath person. It is certain that many of you have heard people refer to their partners to others as empaths, specifically with the surge in these sorts of spiritual practices and beliefs becoming more prominent. For those of you who do not know, an empath is someone who can feel and experience the emotions of people and other beings around them as if they were the Empath’s own.

Empathic persons are also known for being sensitive towards the paranormal, physical pain, and sensations of others, and also who are highly sensitive to their own emotions and physical sensations, amongst several things. Many individuals claims to be an empath, but the number of people who are genuine empaths is quite smaller in number.

In this blog, India’s leading psychologist and marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo tells about the signs, you are in a relationship with an empathetic person.

He/She Experiences Anxiety, Depression, Mood Swings or Other Psychological Phenomena

Empath individual is known for his/her defining feature, being able to feel and experience the emotions of others. Empaths can, in simple terms, put themselves in other people’s shoes with great intensity. Empaths, such as shamans, are well known to absorb illnesses and negativity from people around them. Sadly, shamans are better able to deflect unwarranted energies than most empaths.

They Often Get Sick and Experience Chronic Illnesses

Empaths are quite capable of deflecting negative energies rather than soaking them, but many empaths are not aware of their gift or simply do not know how to manage it properly. Watch out if your partner is having the same issue.

They are Known for Having Intense and Turbulent Emotions

This is actually not a bad thing. In fact, it can be a quite wonderful thing at times. Your partner experience love and happiness in such large quantities that it brings about intense euphoria and peace. Intimacy can also be extremely fulfilling and intense, specifically if your partner loves you when you are with him.

But they also experience sadness, anger, and guilt at extremes too. Sadness could feel soul-crushing, guilt all-consuming, anger becomes explosive. The worst part is that sometimes these emotions aren’t even their own.

They Feel Connected to Nature and Animals

Not be an adage, but this is a huge sign. Your partner does not need to be a full-blown nature fanatic to feel the connection. They can feel the life given off by everything, like the grass, flowers, trees, animals who inhabit the whole earth with us. They can feel the vibrations of the seasonal change too besides they appreciate it all.

Children and Animals Gravitate Towards Them

Do animals or children seem to stare at your partner for no apparent reason? They may be seeing something most of you cannot—the aura. An aura is the energy field. It reflects the true personality and emotions with colors. Animals and children are supposedly more sensitive to such elements, for that reason they may be seeing the biggest giveaway to the person’s true intentions (the aura, in case the wasn’t obvious). We already have seen that children can tell if a person is good or bad, but how do they do it? Well, this is up for you to decide. The bottom line is they know certain things about the person is special, so they gravitate towards them.

They Can Read Others Like a Book

They have a naturally heightened intuition that serves them well in many ways, especially when it comes to reading people. They are an expert at reading people’s intentions and judging their character. It is hard to go by their intuition at times, especially when first meeting someone or when asking for someone’s opinion on their gut feelings, but they have this intuition for a reason. It might not be right every time, but it is the right majority of the time.

He/She is a Very Thoughtful

They care deeply about what they say and do because they understand the consequences their actions could have on those around you, even indirectly. They may even overanalyze everything and worry excessively about what kind of mark he/she is leaving on the world. It’s vital for them to stay self-aware and mindful of their actions to avoid hurting themselves or others, but it’s also important for them to stay genuine and not let their fear of what others think of them controlling his/her life.

All of the above-mentioned signs are good enough to let you know that your partner is an empath or not.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-19 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help.  Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high. 

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option.  Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service! 

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

Psychology says manipulation is directly influencing someone’s beliefs, desires, or emotions, such that a person falls short of ideals for belief, desire, or emotion in ways typically not in his/her self-interest or likely not as per the situation in the current context.”

Manipulation is an art or perhaps even a pseudo-science, may be a dark science to an extent. History is replete with examples of manipulation.

Is it good or bad?

Thanks to the digital connectivity sharing information is a cakewalk in today’s fast-paced life. But this same connectivity also helps in manipulating the public perception of reality through ‘fake news’. But manipulation can be positive or negative depending upon whether it takes the form of persuasion or coercion.

Persuasion is about getting people to do things they want to do whereas Coercion is about getting people to do things they don’t want to do. Inspiring or encouraging a person to do something that can be beneficial for him if he is afraid of doing is called good manipulation.

While using somebody for your own self motives with primary means to hurt that individual whom one is using is bad manipulation.

Positive manipulation motivates employees to achieve their goals thereby improving organizational performance.

Using negative manipulation, manipulator twist words, play on emotions and manage a situation in a sneaky fashion to get what he wants. This kills the confidence of the person being manipulated.

What goes on in the mind of a manipulator? Psychological reasons behind the manipulation.

Delhi’s Top Psychologist and Marriage Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo tells us the reasons behind the manipulation. They are as follows:

Narcissistic Mentality: Manipulators usually suffer from a narcissistic personality disorder which is a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance and the deep need for admiration. They consider that they are better than others. They are not concerned about how others feel. Individuals with narcissistic personality (NPD) may find it difficult to form close relationships. So, they may resort to manipulation to maintain a good relationship with their partners.

It’s In Their Family: Sometimes manipulators have a difficult childhood wherein they are deprived of love and affection, status and privilege from their family members. Sometimes they struggle for economic and social survival. This is what turns them into manipulators.

It’s In Their Genes: Manipulative behavior can be hereditary too.

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD): BPD might help manipulators to satisfy their emotional needs or for obtaining validation. This happens because such manipulators feel insecure or abandoned.

Give Me Power: Manipulators love the feeling of being powerful. They love to control people and situations. They want to be the king and be in charge of everything.

Lack Of Consciousness: This is another reason for being manipulative. They believe that the only way to achieve their goal in this ‘unsafe world’ is by manipulation.)

Last but not least, whatever the psychology behind manipulation is, manipulators can change for the better. They just need the right guidance for that to overcome that negative trait which becomes a part of their life.