Marriage Counsellor and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

Has your partner ever said, “I understand why you feel that way, and I’m here to listen and work through this together”? This simple yet profound statement can be a positive and comforting experience in a relationship, especially during challenging times.

Empaths possess an innate capacity to put themselves in another person’s shoes and understand the feelings of those around them. Empathy can be both a blessing and a challenge. It’s a powerful tool that allows individuals to connect on a deep emotional level, but it also comes with its own set of challenges.

What are the biggest challenges the empaths face in romantic relationships?

Let us find out how empaths deal with their difficulties in relationships from Delhi’s top marriage counsellor and relationship expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo.

1. Self-neglect

Empaths intensely feel their partner’s emotions and often become people-pleasers. They prioritize their partner’s feelings and avoid confronting issues. Self-care takes a back seat as they prioritize their partner’s needs, opinions, and decisions. Escaping this cycle can be tough for empaths, entangled in putting their partner’s needs above their own. Balancing empathy and self-preservation is important for a healthy relationship.

2. Communication is a real challenge

Communication can pose another hurdle for empaths. The intense connection they feel can sometimes make it difficult for them to express their own feelings openly. They may fear burdening their partner with their emotions or struggle to articulate their needs and desires effectively.

Learning to communicate openly and honestly, without letting the fear of overwhelming their partner hold them back, is crucial for a healthy relationship.

3. Lack Of Emotional Boundaries

Empaths have a heightened sensitivity to the emotions of those around them. While this is a beautiful gift, it can also become overwhelming, especially when it comes to romance. The ability to absorb and feel the emotions of their partners can lead to a constant state of emotional flux. They may fail to distinguish between their partner’s feelings and their own, making it hard to maintain emotional boundaries.

4. Fear of Intimacy

Empaths struggle in relationships due to overwhelming closeness. Their heightened awareness absorbs others’ energies, leading to exhaustion. Relationships, already emotional for non-empaths, are even more draining for empaths. Some empaths fear dating or commitment to avoid this emotional overload. They seek ample space—energetic, emotional, and physical—for recovery. Empaths can enjoy relationships by balancing closeness with their need for space, improving their overall experience.

5. Often Too Intrusive

Empaths naturally sense others’ emotions without control. Imagine the constant awareness of your partner’s mood. It’s both a valuable trait and a challenge. Empaths can’t switch off this sensitivity. While partners appreciate the support, it can feel intrusive. Occasionally, they want space to handle a bad day privately. Balancing an empath’s caring nature with respecting personal boundaries can be complex.

6. Attract Narcissists

Empaths often attract strong personalities like narcissists or toxic individuals, but this can harm their well-being. Both empaths and narcissists seek attention, but they express it differently. Empaths focus on caring for others, while narcissists want attention for themselves. This mismatch leads to problems in the relationship. Empaths try hard to please narcissists, who may mistreat them. It’s a cycle with no winners and is tough to escape.

7. Misinterpretations and Conflicts

Empaths are excellent at reading between the lines and picking up on subtle cues. However, their heightened sensitivity can sometimes lead to misinterpretations. They may detect emotions that their partner isn’t explicitly expressing, which can lead to misunderstandings and unnecessary conflicts.

8. Feeling of Loneliness

Empaths may experience loneliness in relationships due to their intense emotional sensitivity. Partners often struggle to comprehend the depth of their feelings, causing isolation. Even caring partners may not fully grasp their emotional needs. For example, needing alone time after a taxing day is a necessity, not a preference. Without solitude, empaths feel drained and unhappy.

Empaths face profound challenges in relationships, juggling intense empathy with self-preservation, communication struggles, emotional boundary issues, and fear of overwhelming closeness. They must overcome these hurdles while seeking a delicate balance between compassion and their own well-being for a truly fulfilling and harmonious connection.

According to India’s Top Marriage Counselor Shivani Sadhoo

Couples Therapist Shivani Sadhoo says all these years as a psychologist and marriage counselor, she has carefully observed the attitudes and behaviors of people who consistently succeeded in their long-term intimate relationships.

Several of those qualities are evident in a new relationship but are mostly much less vital in the long run. This blog from India’s leading marriage counsellor shares a few gender-free, common examples.

Shivani Sadhoo opines that although these are all essential requirements most people look for in new relationships, they are, in all truth, driven by the personal qualities that lie beneath them, and those characteristics are not always sustainable over time.

But there are a few personal qualities that are guaranteed to sustain and deepen love and commitment amongst the couple over time that is mostly not as evident early in new relationships. They crop up over time and are driven by the core beliefs and personal philosophies of those who are determined to lead and live a meaningful life in whatever endeavours they participate in. These are some of the qualities.

Humility

Quite a wise person once said that the roots of humility and humiliation are the same: being on your knees. If you are being pushed into that position, you will feel humiliated. It is so much simpler to comfortably stay humble, and deeply grateful for the capacity to be in amazement and wonderment of the experiences that keep everyone worshipping the blessings of life.

Fairness

Agreements and the rules that define those are mutually opted by both individuals in an intimate relationship. Fairness is the commitment to either live by those sacred alliances or to go for renegotiation if they no longer assist the relationship’s ideals and principles. When there is mutual fairness, score-keeping never exists.

Courage

It is most scary to take the risks required to challenge oneself and others in a long-term relationship when the outcomes might be difficult to bear. Yet, your thoughts, beliefs, and actions withheld to maintain a questionable harmony mostly backfire when those pent-up behaviors erupt. When a couple supports one another to stay present and real, they can better face the truth of what is.

Translucence

Honesty, authenticity, and transparency are the foundations of trust. They predict whether your partners will be who they say they are or not. Gaslighting and ghosting never exist in these relationships. The people in these partnerships make mutual decisions formed based on reality rather than assumptions formed in confusion and conflict.

Resilience

There will always be hurdles in every relationship, both from within and without, and certain couples have more than their share of losses. Yet, remaining broken and buried by those legitimate heartbreaks probably steals time and energy from recuperation. Though a few people are simply born with more capacity to rebound, resilience can also be learned. The past is for lessons, not for rehashing or reasons to helplessly fall down again in defeat. The present is for debriefing what went on, what was learned, and what could be done differently in the coming time.

Interested and Interesting

Long-term relationships quite often fall prey to the same-old predictable interactions. Though it is most comforting and more secure to know what your spouse might or might not do, it is never as compelling as new thoughts and personal transformations. Couples who balance commitment to their relationship with constant personal transformation are the most probably to keep each other engaged.

Accountability

No relationship is able to survive an unequal responsibility for the things that go wrong. Nor can it tolerate promises for transformation that never materialize. Accountability will only serve its purpose if behavior alteration follows the recognition of contribution. Certain behaviors are much more difficult to change and attachments could get in the way, but being aware, open, and honest about one’s own frailties goes a long way when repairing is mandatory.

Humor

Seeing the lightness in things while they get too heavy. Relieving tension in self and others. Laughing at yourself. Making others feel good. Shaking off your own sadness. These are critical reasons for humor being a wonderful quality that mostly helps a situation heal. But it is also true that humor can also be used as a tool for wounding. When humor is used as sarcasm, mocking, or teasing, or an effort to get out of accountability, it is not healthy relationship conduct.

Chivalry

Almost every relationship is, for the most part, transactional. You all strive to keep your commitments but, certainly, reasonably expect reciprocity when you need it in return. But the fairness that forces those agreements sometimes should be upended by an unexpected crisis that needs giving beyond the fairness that is generally present. Chivalry is an act of selfless motive that comes from a different part of the self. It is a non-conflicted work of giving without any expectation of getting.

Nurturing

You are always all the ages you have ever been, and there are times when the child in you desperately requires a safe haven to feel, to cry, to complain, and even to yell powerlessly. The nurturing that is needed for any intimate relationship to thrive is the simple comfort of a pseudo-parent-child interaction sans judgment. Being able to crawl into the haven of loving arms not just can heal the moment but also heal the trauma that might have driven it.

Ease with self

Those lucky souls who know who they are, what they can give, what they require in return, and who live life equivalent to what they expect of others are individuals who have suffered their losses and rejoiced in their joys. They have found methods to integrate the completeness of their life experiences in a composite of quiet confidence. They are at ease with believing what they presently know and are still open to altering their perspective as new experiences enter their lives.