Marriage Counsellor and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

When two people fall in love, what’s the first thing that connects them?

Is it the mind — where curiosity turns into comfort, where a stranger begins to feel familiar long before the heart catches up? Or is it that unexplainable physical pull that draws you closer before you even know why?

Honestly, it’s often our minds that meet first. Our emotions translate what words can’t — that quiet spark of recognition when a thought mirrors your own, when laughter feels shared rather than offered, when silence doesn’t demand filling. That’s the magic, isn’t it? Two minds leaning toward each other long before the souls follow and the hearts understand what’s unfolding.

But what happens when that same person — the one who once understood your pauses and lit up your brightest thoughts — turns distant? When warmth turns to indifference, and the shared language of love fades into one-word replies? When the home you built together feels more like a waiting room where no one calls your name?

Yes, we are talking about Emotional Abandonment — what it really is, and how to walk through it without losing yourself says Shivani Misri Sadhoo who is one of the most experienced couples therapist in Delhi, India.

What is Emotional Abandonment?

Sometimes, even in a marriage that is built on trust, communication, patience, and more importantly love, life has a way of making people drift without realizing it. Work pressure, family duties, the everyday hustle and bustle — they all add up, and slowly, two people who once felt like they were in a “made-for-each-other” kind of relationship become emotionally alien to each other. Then there are times when the emotional disconnect isn’t transient. The person who loved you so much, stops caring about your feelings.

There is a great wall of silence that rises between you and your spouse. And, even though you’re under the same roof, it feels like you’re worlds apart — sharing space, but not a life. You feel unheard, unseen, almost invisible in a space that was once safe. Over time, that emotional gap turns into isolation and deep loneliness. This isn’t just distance — it’s emotional abandonment, a painful place where support fades, connection breaks down, and love feels like it’s there in name but missing in presence. It can happen over the years or all of a sudden. But whenever it happens, it hurts!

Why Does It Happen?

Some of the reasons this happens are:

Too Busy

We are living in an era where life spins endlessly in the orbit of busyness — where married couples, caught in the rush, slowly drift apart, and emotional abandonment takes root in the silence between them. Initially, they try to make it up by going for a late night coffee date or a weekend plan. But as time goes by, those gestures become band-aids on widening cracks. The late-night coffees turn into hurried takeaways, weekend plans become postponed promises, and conversations shrink into logistics — bills, schedules, responsibilities. What once felt like partnership now feels like parallel lives: two people moving in the same space yet rarely meeting in spirit. This takes a heavy toll on their emotional landscape-a slow erosion rather than a sudden collapse.

Negative Experiences of Childhood

Sometimes, childhood experiences like neglect, abuse, or losing a caregiver can quietly shape how we love later in life. These can unknowingly lead to feelings of distrust, fear of getting hurt, and anxiety around closeness. A person may cling when they feel insecure or pull away to protect themselves. Without meaning to, they may create distance in the relationships they care about most, wanting connection but struggling to feel safe in it.

Money Matters

Sometimes constant financial stress and job insecurity can quietly strain a relationship. Your mind is more focused on solving financial problems and hence there is no room for emotional attachment. As time goes by, this constant state of worry takes a toll on their emotional relationship. When that happens, feelings of neglect and abandonment grow.

Personality Mismatch

One more reason for emotional abandonment comes from differences in personality. Some people are naturally introverted and prefer space, quiet, and time alone to recharge. Others are more expressive and seek frequent emotional connection. When these needs don’t match, misunderstandings grow. The introverted person may feel overwhelmed, while the other feels ignored or unloved. Over time, this gap in communication and emotional style can quietly push partners apart, creating distance without anyone meaning to.

Is there a solution to this problem? Let’s find out.

Ways To navigate emotional abandonment

Recognise The Problem

The first step should be to recognise the problem. There is no point dilly-dallying when you already feel the distance creeping in and hurting your relationship. Don’t you want to feel close and happy again? So go ahead and acknowledge that this emotional detachment is slowly building walls between you both. Once you name it, you can face it, talk honestly, and slowly reconnect instead of drifting apart.

Communication is Key

Communicate. Real communication is a two-way flow — you listen, you speak honestly, and you face what hurts instead of running from it. The more you talk, the lighter you feel, because sharing loosens the weight you’ve been carrying inside. Emotional abandonment begins to heal when two partners stay present, open up, and keep showing up with truth and patience. If you don’t express what’s hurting you inside, how will your partner ever know? Speak, release the unspoken, and let honesty bring you back to each other.

The Magic of Time

They say time is the greatest healer, so give it the space it needs. When you and your spouse feel emotionally detached, be patient and gentle with yourselves. Take it slow, stay steady in your efforts, and keep showing up even when progress feels small. Miracles do not happen overnight; time and steady intention soften wounds, rebuild trust, and slowly revive connection. With patience, honest effort, and a calm heart, emotional abandonment in marriage can gradually give way to closeness once again.

Spend Quality Time Together

Try giving sweet surprises to your better half. Plan a weekend trip to the place where you first met and relive those precious moments. You could also try something new together, like a fun activity or a creative workshop you both enjoy. The whole idea is to spend real quality time together—switch off your phone, disconnect from the outside world, and reconnect with each other. These simple efforts strengthen your emotional bond by reminding you both that love is not just spoken but shown through presence and intention.

Professional Guidance Helps

Sometimes professional guidance truly helps. A third person can counsel you in a neutral manner, seeing the situation from an outside perspective without judgment. A therapist or marriage counsellor uses specific tools and techniques to address the issues that are emotionally hurting both partners. Their support creates a safe space to express feelings, understand unmet needs, and rebuild trust. This process is especially helpful for healing emotional abandonment in a marriage, as it encourages reconnection, healthy communication, and renewed emotional presence.

Life is full of surprises — some lift us, some test us. Emotional distance can feel heavy, but it’s not the final chapter. When we notice the disconnect, speak openly, give time, create meaningful moments, and seek guidance when needed, love finds its way back. Healing begins when both hearts choose to stay present.

We often think attractiveness is about looks, style, or physical features—but true attractiveness goes much deeper than that. It’s not just about how someone looks, but about how they make others feel. Some people seem to have a magnetic charm that draws others toward them effortlessly. You can sense their energy in the way they talk, listen, and carry themselves. The secret lies not in appearance, but in habits—the small, consistent actions that reflect inner confidence, kindness, and authenticity.

Which 5 Habits Make People Instantly Attractive to Others?

Here are five amazing habits that make people naturally attractive and deeply admired by others as explained by Shivani Misri Sadhoo who is one of the most experienced couples and relationship counselors in India.

1. They Radiate Positivity

Attractive people are not those who have perfect lives—but those who maintain a positive attitude, even when things don’t go their way. Their optimism is contagious. They focus on solutions, not problems, and find silver linings even in challenges.

When you’re around someone who exudes positivity, you feel lighter, more hopeful, and more at peace. That’s because positivity shifts energy—it turns ordinary moments into uplifting ones. Whether it’s greeting others with a smile, showing gratitude, or encouraging people during tough times, their attitude becomes a source of warmth and comfort.

A positive mindset doesn’t mean pretending everything is fine—it means believing in possibilities. People who embody this habit inspire others to do the same, which makes them irresistibly magnetic.

2. They Truly Listen and Make Others Feel Heard

One of the most underrated yet powerful habits is active listening. We live in a world where most people listen to reply, not to understand. But attractive individuals do the opposite—they listen with genuine attention. They make eye contact, nod, ask thoughtful questions, and remember details.

When you talk to them, you feel seen, valued, and respected. They don’t interrupt or dominate the conversation; they let you express yourself freely. That’s why people naturally open up to them—they create a safe emotional space.

This habit signals emotional intelligence and empathy—qualities that build trust and deepen connections. Being a good listener isn’t just polite; it’s profoundly attractive because it shows you care about others more than your own ego.

3. They Carry Themselves with Confidence, Not Arrogance

Confidence is one of the most universally attractive traits—but it’s important to understand that true confidence is quiet. It doesn’t demand attention; it attracts it naturally.

People with genuine confidence are comfortable in their own skin. They don’t try to prove their worth to others, nor do they need validation to feel good about themselves. They know their strengths, accept their flaws, and stay grounded.

Unlike arrogance, which pushes people away, real confidence invites respect. It’s reflected in posture, eye contact, tone, and how they treat others. When someone walks into a room with calm assurance and humility, they instantly stand out—not because they’re loud, but because they’re secure.

4. They Show Kindness Without Expecting Anything in Return

There’s something deeply beautiful about people who are kind—not because they want recognition, but because it’s simply who they are. Kindness has a way of leaving a lasting impression. It could be as simple as holding the door open, offering help without being asked, or speaking with compassion instead of judgment.

Truly attractive people see others as human beings, not as means to an end. They treat everyone with respect—whether it’s a colleague, waiter, or stranger. Their kindness makes them approachable and trustworthy.

Research even shows that kindness activates a “warm glow” in both the giver and receiver, fostering emotional connection. People remember how you make them feel—and kindness ensures they remember you fondly.

5. They Are Authentic and Comfortable Being Themselves

In a world obsessed with filters, perfection, and social approval, authenticity stands out like a breath of fresh air. Attractive people don’t pretend to be someone else—they embrace their uniqueness. They speak honestly, express their opinions with respect, and aren’t afraid to show vulnerability.

Authenticity creates connection because it signals realness. When someone is unapologetically themselves, it gives others permission to be real too. That kind of honesty builds trust faster than any charm or pretense ever could.

Being authentic also means having the courage to say “no” when needed, and standing by your values even when it’s inconvenient. That quiet integrity makes such people truly admirable.

True attractiveness isn’t about appearance—it’s about energy, attitude, and empathy. The most magnetic people are those who uplift others, listen deeply, live confidently, show kindness, and remain genuine.

When you cultivate these five habits, you don’t just become more attractive—you become more alive. People will be drawn to your authenticity, your warmth, and your positive presence. And that kind of beauty never fades.

In any healthy relationship—whether romantic, familial, or friendship—boundaries play a crucial role in maintaining mutual respect and emotional safety. Without boundaries, even the strongest relationships can become strained, leading to misunderstandings, resentment, or burnout. Boundaries are not walls that keep people out—they are guidelines that define how we want to be treated and how we treat others, says Shivani Misri Sadhoo, who is India’s top couples and marriage counselor in this blog.

What Do Boundaries in a Relationship Refer To?

Boundaries in a relationship refer to the limits and expectations that partners set to protect their emotional, physical, and mental well-being. They define what is acceptable and what isn’t in terms of behavior, communication, and personal space. Boundaries ensure that both individuals feel respected, valued, and safe, preventing one person from overpowering or neglecting the other.

For example, setting boundaries might mean communicating honestly about personal needs, maintaining privacy, saying “no” without guilt, or ensuring equal effort in emotional or physical intimacy. They create balance—allowing closeness without losing individuality.

How to Set Healthy Boundaries in a Relationship?

Know Yourself First
Understand your values, comfort zones, and emotional triggers. You can’t set boundaries if you don’t know what you need to feel secure and respected.

Communicate Clearly and Calmly
Express your boundaries openly and respectfully. Instead of blaming or accusing, use “I” statements like “I feel uncomfortable when…” or “I need some alone time to recharge.”

Be Consistent
Once you set a boundary, maintain it. Inconsistency can confuse your partner and weaken the respect for your limits.

Respect Your Partner’s Boundaries Too
Boundaries are mutual. Just as you expect your limits to be respected, you should honor your partner’s as well. Listen and adjust when needed.

Don’t Feel Guilty About Setting Limits
Healthy boundaries don’t make you selfish—they make you emotionally mature. They show you value yourself and your relationship enough to keep it balanced.

Boundaries are the foundation of trust and respect in every relationship. They help both partners grow individually while nurturing their bond together. Without them, love can quickly turn into control, dependency, or emotional exhaustion. Setting boundaries is not about distance—it’s about creating the right space where love, respect, and understanding can thrive.

In recent years, a new kind of social and romantic trend has been quietly taking over parks, gyms, and recreational centres — Pickleball Dating. What started as a fun, friendly sport for all ages has now evolved into an unexpected matchmaking hotspot. From singles meetups on the court to dating apps adding “Pickleball” as an interest filter, this sporty new way to connect is becoming a favourite among people looking for love — or at least some lively competition, says leading couples therapist and relationship counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo.

What Is Pickleball Dating?

Pickleball dating combines the sport of pickleball with the social experience of meeting potential partners. It’s not just about scoring points; it’s about finding chemistry — both on and off the court.

Pickleball itself is a paddle sport that blends elements of tennis, badminton, and ping pong. It’s easy to learn, fun to play, and perfect for group or doubles matches — which makes it naturally social. Because of its friendly pace and interactive setup, it encourages conversation, teamwork, and laughter — all key ingredients for forming connections.

In pickleball dating events, singles are paired up in matches or rotated across different partners, allowing them to meet multiple people in a relaxed, non-pressured setting. Think of it as “speed dating meets recreational sport” — where compatibility is tested through playful rallies instead of awkward small talk.

Why Is Pickleball Dating Trending?

There are several reasons why pickleball dating has become one of the most talked-about modern dating trends:

1. It’s Active and Fun
People today are looking for experiences that go beyond sitting in a café or swiping endlessly on dating apps. Pickleball offers a refreshing change — it gets people moving, laughing, and enjoying the moment. The shared physical activity makes it easier to break the ice and show your authentic self.

2. It’s Social and Inclusive
Pickleball is known for being one of the most inclusive sports — suitable for all ages and fitness levels. That makes it ideal for singles in their 20s, 40s, or even 60s. Unlike some sports that can feel competitive or intimidating, pickleball is lighthearted and community-driven, creating the perfect atmosphere for socializing and forming connections.

3. Post-Pandemic Shift Toward Real Connections
After years of online-only interactions, people are craving genuine, face-to-face connections. Pickleball dating events provide that — a way to meet others in person, bond through shared activity, and avoid the digital fatigue that comes with dating apps.

4. Shared Interests Build Stronger Bonds
When you meet someone who enjoys the same hobby, the connection feels natural. Pickleball dating gives singles a common ground — literally and figuratively — from the very first serve. It’s an instant icebreaker that fosters teamwork, communication, and friendly competition.

5. Celebrities and Media Influence
Pickleball’s popularity has skyrocketed thanks to celebrity endorsements and media coverage. Famous figures like Leonardo DiCaprio, Ellen DeGeneres, and the Kardashians have been spotted playing, bringing the sport — and its dating potential — into the mainstream.

The Bigger Picture: Why Pickleball Dating Works

Beyond being a trend, pickleball dating reflects a broader shift in how people approach relationships. Modern singles are prioritizing shared experiences, health, and emotional compatibility over superficial dating norms. Playing pickleball together reveals personality traits — teamwork, patience, humor — that can’t be seen through a screen.

It also reduces the awkwardness that comes with traditional dating. The focus on fun and movement makes it easier to let your guard down. Even if you don’t find romance, you walk away with new friends and a good workout — a win-win situation.

Pickleball dating is more than a passing fad — it’s a sign of how people are redefining connection in today’s world. It’s about mixing sport, laughter, and a little bit of flirtation in a space where everyone feels welcome.

Whether you’re new to the dating scene or just looking for a fresh way to meet people, picking up a paddle might be your next best move. After all, love — like pickleball — is about finding the right rhythm, playing fair, and enjoying the game together.

Have you ever replayed a conversation in your head and cringed at what you said? Or remembered an awkward moment and felt your cheeks burn? These experiences are common, but the feelings behind them vary. At times, we simply feel embarrassed. Other times, we feel guilty about something we did. But when the discomfort goes deeper and touches our very sense of worth, that is shame.

While guilt says “I did something bad,” shame whispers “I am bad.” And unlike embarrassment or guilt, shame is more damaging if left unchecked. Eminent psychologist and marriage counsellor in India, Shivani Misri Sadhoo explains that learning how to deal with shame is vital for mental health, self-confidence, and healthy relationships.

What is Shame?

Shame is the uncomfortable belief that you are flawed, unworthy, or “not good enough.” It often arises after mistakes, criticism, or rejection. For example, forgetting a partner’s birthday may cause temporary guilt, but if you start believing that this makes you careless or unlovable, the heavy, sinking emotion you feel is shame.

Psychologists distinguish between two types of shame—healthy and toxic. Healthy shame is temporary and acts as a signal that you have fallen short of your values, motivating you to correct your actions and do better. Toxic shame, on the other hand, runs much deeper. Instead of being tied to a single mistake, it becomes part of your identity, making you feel permanently flawed and unworthy. If left unchecked, this type of shame can undermine your confidence, weaken relationships, and even affect physical and emotional well-being.

Why Shame Hurts More Than Guilt or Embarrassment?

Embarrassment usually comes from awkwardness in social situations, such as forgetting someone’s name or tripping in public. Guilt is connected to specific actions, like missing a deadline or breaking a promise. Shame, however, is different because it attacks identity itself, convincing you that you are fundamentally wrong as a person.

When mistakes become linked to self-worth, the emotional weight of shame intensifies. People often respond by avoiding others, striving for perfection, or isolating themselves. Over time, shame can fuel deeper struggles such as anxiety, depression, and a lack of trust in relationships, making it far more destructive than guilt or embarrassment.

How to Deal with Shame in Life?

You should try the following ways to deal with shame:

1. Recognize and Acknowledge Shame

The first step in overcoming shame is awareness. Pay attention to situations that trigger defensiveness, anger, or withdrawal—these often mask shame. Notice how it feels in your body: heaviness, a desire to hide, or discomfort in social situations. Journaling these moments can help reveal patterns. Awareness shifts shame from something unconscious to something you can actively work on.

2. Understand the Root Causes

Shame often has roots in childhood experiences, social pressures, or repeated criticism. Growing up in an environment where love or acceptance was conditional can create lasting feelings of inadequacy. Similarly, struggles with identity, finances, or academic performance may contribute. Recognizing that much of this shame is inherited—not chosen—can ease the burden. You are not defined by past judgments or circumstances.

3. Practice Self-Compassion

Self-compassion is the antidote to shame. Instead of harsh self-criticism, treat yourself with the same kindness you would offer a close friend. When shame arises, pause and ask: What would I say to someone I love if they felt this way? This shift helps you move from judgment to understanding. Even if it feels unnatural at first, practicing small acts of self-kindness—like gentle self-talk or taking breaks when overwhelmed—builds resilience over time.

4. Challenge Negative Beliefs

Shame often thrives on distorted thinking such as “I don’t belong” or “I will fail.” Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) techniques encourage questioning these thoughts:

• What evidence supports this belief?
• What evidence challenges it?
• How would I view this situation if it happened to someone else?

Replacing absolute, negative beliefs with balanced perspectives reduces shame’s power.

5. Build Supportive Connections

Shame pushes people to hide, but connection is the cure. Talking to trusted friends, partners, or mentors can normalize your struggles. Often, you will discover others have faced similar feelings. Vulnerability in safe relationships breaks shame’s cycle of secrecy and self-isolation.

6. Seek Professional Guidance

Sometimes shame is deeply rooted and hard to manage alone. In such cases, working with a therapist is invaluable. A trained professional provides a safe, non-judgmental space to explore emotions, uncover root causes, and develop healthier coping strategies. Approaches like CBT or Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) help reframe negative thought patterns and rebuild self-worth.

Living Beyond Shame

Shame is universal—everyone experiences it at some point. But it does not have to define you. By recognizing its presence, understanding where it comes from, treating yourself with compassion, and seeking help when necessary, you can loosen shame’s grip.

As psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo emphasizes, dealing with shame is not about erasing mistakes but about refusing to equate them with your identity. With awareness, kindness, and courage, you can step out from shame’s shadow and live with greater confidence, peace, and self-acceptance.

In today’s hyper-connected digital age, mobile phones have become personal vaults of communication, memories, and daily routines. Within relationships, this can create tension—especially when one partner feels tempted to check the other’s phone. From a couples therapy standpoint, this behaviour is not just about curiosity or suspicion—it often reflects deeper issues such as insecurity, boundary confusion, or a lack of emotional trust. Understanding the dynamics behind this urge is crucial for nurturing healthy, respectful relationships.

Is it bad to check your partner’s phone or not?

Shivani Misri Sadhoo, leading relationship expert and one of the best marriage counsellors in India, shares her views on the topic.

Trust Is the Cornerstone of Intimacy

Relationship therapists consistently highlight that trust forms the foundation of emotional safety between partners. When one partner checks the other’s phone without consent, it may signal a breakdown of that trust. Such actions are less about finding concrete evidence and more about addressing emotional uncertainty or fear of betrayal. Without rebuilding trust through open dialogue, phone-checking can erode the sense of security in the relationship.

Privacy Does Not Equal Deception

Therapeutic models of healthy relationships recognise the importance of individual boundaries, even within close emotional bonds. Each partner is entitled to a sense of personal space—digital or otherwise. Privacy in this context is not synonymous with secrecy; rather, it is a sign of respect for individuality. When partners respect each other’s boundaries, it fosters mutual confidence and emotional maturity.

The Behavior Often Escalates Conflict

Research and clinical observations show that covertly accessing a partner’s phone can create more harm than resolution. Misinterpretations of messages, lack of context, or unexpressed emotions often lead to defensiveness, accusations, and emotional withdrawal. Over time, repeated violations of privacy can create a pattern of distrust, making conflict resolution more difficult and damaging relational stability.

Underlying Issues Must Be Addressed, Not Avoided

Phone-checking is rarely the core problem—it is typically a symptom of deeper relational concerns such as past infidelity, emotional disconnect, or fear of abandonment. Therapy focuses on identifying these root causes and facilitating honest communication. Without addressing these underlying issues, the urge to monitor a partner’s digital behaviour may persist, perpetuating a cycle of mistrust and anxiety.

Open Communication Is the Healthier Alternative

Rather than resorting to surveillance, couples are encouraged to engage in transparent, non-confrontational conversations about their concerns. When both partners feel heard and understood, the need for secretive behaviour diminishes. Establishing shared boundaries, clarifying expectations around digital privacy, and rebuilding emotional trust are all essential steps supported by relationship therapy frameworks.

Checking a partner’s phone without consent is rarely a sign of a healthy relationship. While the impulse may stem from genuine fear or hurt, the act itself often causes greater harm. From a therapeutic perspective, the path to stronger relationships lies not in silent monitoring but in open-hearted communication, emotional safety, and mutual respect for boundaries.

We live in an era where boys and girls fall in love quickly—and drift apart just as easily. Whether you are in a situationship, where you are still in the friendship zone, and not yet a couple, or a texlationship, which is based primarily on texting with little to no real-life interaction, modern relationships are undeniably volatile.

With the advent of social media, true emotions are hard to decipher. We often wonder if in this age of interconnectedness, we have actually become more disconnected. Amid the noise of notifications and filtered personas, have we lost the warmth of genuine human connection? Shivani Misri Sadhoo, a relationship expert and certified relationship counsellor, tells her readers what being in a relationship truly means.

In simple words, the term ‘relationship’ refers to the connection or bond between two or more people. When a couple is in a relationship, they are emotionally attached to each other. Leading marriage counsellor in India, Shivani Misri Sadhoo, explains the real meaning of relationship in this blog.

What is The Real Meaning of Being in A Relationship?

To have Faith

Yes, perhaps the ubiquitous truth—faith or trust is the basic foundation of any healthy relationship. If you are in a relationship with someone, the ability to believe in them, the way they behave and their intentions is vital. Faith means giving someone the benefit of the doubt, even when circumstances test your patience.

It’s knowing that your partner has your best interests at heart, even when times are tough. Without faith, insecurity creeps in, and love slowly erodes. It’s not only about trusting that your partner would choose fidelity over betrayal, but also trusting that they will show up for you emotionally, be honest with their feelings, and stand by your side through life’s unpredictability.

To Understand Each Other

Love is not the only glue that holds a relationship together. Mutual understanding is very important. Partners need to understand each other. Sometimes silence speaks louder than words. A couple should be able to understand each other’s feelings and emotions without always having to explain them.

To understand someone is to be aware of their feelings, to have empathy, and to genuinely care about their inner world. Studies reveal that most of the relationships crumble not because couples fall out of love, but because there is a lack of proper understanding and communication.

To Not Judge Each Other

Another very important aspect in a relationship is not to judge each other. Many a time, even if the partners know each other well, it’s easy to fall into the trap of making assumptions or passing judgments, especially during moments of stress or disagreement. When one partner feels judged, it can lead to defensiveness, withdrawal, or even resentment.

Instead, couples should sit together and sort out their misunderstandings with patience, empathy and open communication. The moment you start judging each other over trivial issues, the trust that has been built over time can begin to erode.

To Stand by Each Other

In a true relationship, partners should always stand by each other, irrespective of the situation. One cannot always predict the challenges life will throw their way, but unconditional support, empathy, and commitment help couples endure and grow stronger.

It doesn’t really matter what the issue is; the most important thing is to be with your significant other when they need you the most. It is not only about celebrating the joys – it’s also about weathering the storms together.

To be friends first

If you want a fulfilling relationship, a true relationship, then be a friend to your partner. Friendship is perhaps the most important ingredient of a successful relationship. Friends understand each other, accept each other the way they are and do not judge. It’s easy to be swept away by passion or attraction, but those flames alone can flicker and fade.

That is ephemeral. What truly lasts forever is the kind of connection rooted in friendship. When you are a friend to your partner, you forgive each other easily without holding grudges. Communication is candid. There are no ifs and buts.

To Accept Their Imperfections

A relationship becomes meaningful when you accept your partner just the way they are. Nobody is perfect. You may be good at something your partner struggles with, and vice versa. That’s the true meaning of being in a relationship, when you accept each other’s flaws and strengths equally, supporting one another through growth and vulnerability.

When you love someone, you do not try to change them or mold them into someone they are not. Instead, you embrace their imperfections and create a safe space where both of you can be your authentic selves. A meaningful relationship is built on mutual respect, trust, and understanding. It’s not about fixing each other, but about growing together. It’s about being each other’s anchor during the storms and celebrating the sunshine side by side.

Ultimately, being in a relationship means having faith, understanding each other deeply, and accepting one another without judgment. It’s about being true friends, offering unconditional support, and embracing imperfections. A real relationship is built on trust, empathy, and love that grows stronger through every challenge shared together.

When relationships start feeling rocky, a lot of people begin searching for professional help. That’s usually when terms like couples therapy and marriage counselling start popping up. At first glance, they seem like the same thing, right? After all, both involve two people sitting down with a professional to talk through their relationship issues.

But here’s the thing—while the two are definitely similar, they’re not quite the same. And the confusion is completely understandable. Even therapists sometimes use the terms interchangeably. But suppose you’re thinking about seeking help. In that case, it’s worth knowing what sets them apart—because the right kind of support can make all the difference, says one of India’s top Gottman-certified couples therapists, Shivani Misri Sadhoo. First, let us clear up the fundamentals.

What is Marriage Counselling?

Marriage counselling is typically designed for married couples or partners in long-term committed relationships, who are dealing with specific, current problems. This could be anything from frequent arguments and lack of communication to disagreements about parenting, finances, or even emotional distance. The idea here is to help couples navigate through rough patches and find better ways to connect.

Think of it like a relationship first-aid. It’s often short-term and focused on resolving a particular issue. A marriage counsellor usually helps both partners improve communication, understand each other better, and rebuild trust. The overall goal is to restore balance and strengthen the relationship so that it can move forward in a healthier way.

What is Couples Therapy?

Couples therapy, on the other hand, goes much deeper. It’s not just about solving a problem—it’s about understanding why that problem exists in the first place. This kind of therapy explores the emotional and psychological patterns that are playing out in the relationship. Sometimes that means revisiting past experiences, personal traumas, or long-standing habits that keep showing up in conflicts.

Couples therapy is usually a longer process and tends to be more intensive. It’s ideal for couples dealing with chronic conflict, emotional disconnection, or those who feel stuck and unsure about the future of their relationship. A couples therapist helps partners dig into their emotional world and figure out not just what’s going wrong—but why.

What is the difference between couples therapy and marriage counselling?

The biggest difference between marriage counselling and couples therapy lies in their focus. Marriage counselling is more about present-day problems and practical solutions—it helps couples communicate better, handle conflict, and find common ground. Couples therapy, meanwhile, focuses on the emotional and psychological layers of the relationship. It aims to uncover deep-rooted patterns that often go unnoticed but continue to affect the way partners relate to each other.

In terms of duration, marriage counselling is usually short-term and goal-oriented, perfect for couples looking to fix a specific issue. Couples therapy is more of a long-term process that requires patience and self-reflection.

The approach is different too. Marriage counselling is often solution-focused and includes tools or techniques to improve communication. Couples therapy leans more toward emotional healing, helping both individuals understand their own feelings and how those feelings shape the relationship dynamic.

Marriage counselling is best suited for couples who are committed and facing challenges they want to overcome together. Couples therapy is ideal for those in more serious distress, where the issues run deeper, and the emotional connection needs rebuilding.

In the End, It is About What You Need

Both marriage counselling and couples therapy can be incredibly helpful, but they serve different purposes. If your relationship is facing a specific hurdle and you’re both ready to work through it, marriage counselling might be the way to go. But if things feel heavier, more emotionally complex, or you’re struggling to even communicate, couples therapy might offer the deeper support you need.

No matter which path you choose, reaching out for help is a sign of strength, not failure. Relationships aren’t always easy, but the right kind of support can bring clarity, healing, and a whole new way of understanding each other.

We do not live in a perfect world, and no relationship is flawless. It is quite natural for all relationships to go through ups and downs. Conflicts and disagreements are bound to happen, even in the most loving families.

According to psychologists, the fact that parents fight is not the real issue—what truly matters is how they resolve those fights, with maturity and a balanced point of view. When parents manage their disagreements with calm, maturity, and mutual respect, some arguments can actually be constructive and can teach kids valuable lessons about communication and compromise.

Children are vulnerable. They are innocent. For them, parents are the primary source of safety and stability. So, when they see their parents yelling or arguing, they feel insecure and scared. This kind of toxic environment can leave an indelible mark on their young minds—sometimes with long-term psychological consequences.

How can You Safeguard Your Children during Couple Arguments?

Shivani Misri Sadhoo, one of the top couples therapists in Delhi, shares a few tips and tricks on how to protect children when couples argue.

1. Don’t Raise Your Voice

Parenting is tough, no doubt, and an argument between a couple can’t always be avoided. However, how we handle these arguments matters most, especially in front of our children. When voices are raised, the impact on a child can be deeper than we imagine. They may not always show it, but they’re soaking in every word, every tone, and every reaction. A loud argument can leave them feeling unsafe or anxious, and over time, they may begin to mirror that behavior.

Kids don’t just hear us—they learn from us. If we shout when we’re upset, they may grow up thinking that’s how stress or disagreement is supposed to be handled. But if we can stay calm, even when things get heated, we’re teaching them strength, patience, and emotional stability. It’s not about being perfect parents—it’s about being conscious ones, especially when little ears and hearts are in the room.

2. Maintain Privacy

A good way to handle arguments between couples is to keep them behind closed doors. Children feel uncomfortable and emotionally unsafe when their parents fight in front of them, even unintentionally. They often have difficulty understanding the full context of disagreements, which can cause confusion, fear, or even a false sense of responsibility.

The privacy of the argument doesn’t make the argument harmless, but it shields the children from the emotional baggage of the argument. While kids can still sense tension in the air, watching it unfold directly is far more damaging. The separation of their children from conflict allows them to feel secure and emotionally stable while also allowing their parents to resolve issues without involving their children.

3. Keep Children Away From The Fights

Keeping kids out of a heated debate is one of the best things parents can do. Children should never be forced to mediate disputes between their parents or be pulled into adult disputes. Children who witness violent arguments, particularly if they feel compelled to choose a side, may become confused, emotionally conflicted, and even hold themselves accountable for the hostility at home.

No child should have to bear the burden of their parents’ problems or feel bad about something that is out of their control. They should be able to grow up without the emotional upheaval of adult arguments, in an environment where they feel safe, secure, and unconditionally loved by both parents.

4. Be Frank With Your Child

Make sure to have a heart-to-heart chat with your child, gently explaining that not all arguments are bad. Let them know that sometimes parents do fight, but that doesn’t mean something is wrong. In fact, some disagreements can lead to healthy conversations and help people understand each other better.

Reassure them that even when people argue, it doesn’t take away the love and care they have for one another. Tell them, “We still love you, and we still love each other.” It’s important to stay calm and help them see that just like they might have small fights with friends at school and then make up later, grown-ups do the same.

5. Seek Professional Guidance

Sometimes, it takes an outside perspective to truly understand what’s going wrong truly. If you’ve fought with your partner in front of your child, don’t be too hard on yourself—it happens. But if these arguments are becoming frequent or turning into shouting matches filled with insults, swearing, or slammed doors, it might be time to seek professional help.

No parent wants their child to carry the emotional weight of constant conflict at home. Counselling or therapy can offer a safe space to work through issues, using practical, proven methods to help couples communicate better and find healthier ways to handle disagreements.

Children deserve a safe, loving environment in which to grow. When parents stay calm, sort out issues in private, and keep little ones away from heated moments, they create a safer space for their children. Reassuring kids with love and honesty and seeking help when needed shows real strength. It’s okay to argue—just protect those tender hearts through it all.

Many a time, people in love wonder how much their partner truly loves them. Can love be measured, just like we measure physical quantities like weight, height, or time?

The answer is no. Love is an emotion—a deeply personal and abstract feeling that cannot be quantified by tangible metrics. It is not about how many candlelight dinners you share, the number of gifts exchanged, or even how often the words “I love you” are said.

Love is far more profound and complex than that. Small, meaningful gestures often reveal the depth of a relationship.

Helping your partner with household chores, taking on tasks they dislike just to make their day easier, or showing empathy in moments of stress can signify deep affection. Interestingly, a simple act like peeling an orange can become a litmus test of love. 

Yes, you read that right! The Orange Peel Theory, a concept currently trending on TikTok, apparently tells you how much your partner loves you.

Let’s find out more about this theory from India’s top marriage counselor and relationship expert, Shivani Misri Sadhoo.

What is it about the Orange Peel Theory?

The “orange peel theory,” a concept that has captivated social media, beautifully illustrates the essence of a healthy relationship through the lens of small, everyday acts of care.

Imagine this: you’re seated at the kitchen table, staring at an orange, wishing someone would save you the trouble of peeling it. You casually ask your partner, and their response—whether an effortless “Sure, love” or “Do it yourself” — speaks volumes.

It’s not about the orange or the task itself; it’s about their willingness to make your life easier, even in trivial moments. This simple act reflects a deeper emotional truth: love isn’t measured by grand gestures but by the quiet, thoughtful ways someone shows they care.

Whether it’s brewing your favorite cup of tea after a long day or offering to handle a chore you dislike, these small actions signal empathy, understanding, and a readiness to meet your needs. At its core, the orange peel theory reminds us that the strength of a relationship lies in the details, where love thrives in the mundane.

How does it help people?

The “orange peel theory” emphasizes small, thoughtful gestures over grand declarations of affection. It highlights attunement—being present and noticing subtle ways to brighten your partner’s day, like peeling an orange for them.

These simple acts of service can strengthen intimacy and self-esteem without words. The theory also helps de-escalate conflicts through care and attention when words fail. Gaining popularity for its relatability, ease of application, and immediate feedback, it offers a practical approach to fostering deeper connections in today’s fast-paced world.

Love Languages

The Orange Peel Theory helps explore how you and your partner give and receive love. Love languages include:

·       Gift-giving

·       Quality time

·       Acts of service

·       Physical touch

·       Words of affirmation

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Shared experiences & emotional security. For example sharing an orange can highlight a partner’s preference for quality time.

Communication Styles

The theory encourages understanding communication methods and improving them and asks meaningful questions to uncover how you both communicate and your goals.

Areas to Work On

It helps identify strengths and areas for improvement in the relationship. and celebrate the good and discuss areas that need change.

Limitations of this Theory

– Oversimplifies relationship dynamics by focusing on one act, ignoring deeper aspects like communication and conflict resolution. 

– Assumes everyone expresses love the same way, overlooking other love languages like quality time or words of affirmation. 

– Small actions may be misinterpreted, leading to misunderstandings about a partner’s feelings. 

– Encourages unhealthy “testing” of love, creating insecurity instead of trust. 

– Sets unrealistic expectations, ignoring the need for compromise and respecting individual boundaries.

Love isn’t one-size-fits-all but thrives in simple gestures. The Orange Peel Theory shows that love often lies in small acts, like peeling an orange without hesitation. Such thoughtful moments highlight care and connection.

If your partner doesn’t do this, it doesn’t mean they love you less—love is expressed in many ways. Embracing these differences fosters stronger, more meaningful relationships.